#There is a dead goblin child in the cave below the ravaged town and it just looks like a smaller goblin

[morgana-ren]

Hmmm. This is perhaps an odd scenario to pop into my mind, but bear with me for a moment.

Now when you finally find Halsin in the Worg pens, he's being tormented by two goblin children, who, if you initiate a fight, will run away and summon a few extra guards unless you kill them first. Luckily for my soft heart, there are no consequences for that beyond three more NPCs joining the fight who aren't even very hard to kill lol

So... My mind has jumped to this scenario: we all know Astarion can be very cruel in his practical, survivalist way. Consider... Astarion's surprise when Tav, perhaps a paladin or druid or one of the goodie-two-shoes classes suddenly gets just as vicious as he, stopping him from shooting down the two little goblins and allowing them to escape. Tav almost roars their order to stop at him, as furious as the bear they just freed, and in shock he does, instead shooting down or stabbing one of the adults. They're bristling, savage in their righteous rage, teeth bare and spattered with blood after the fight ends as they snarl that there are lines they will never cross, not even for him. Their heart aches for the suffering he went through at the hands of Cazador and they want to help him achieve peace with it, whatever it takes to do so, but they don't have the luxury that he does of picking up and putting down their conscience. Unfortunately, not every time they cleave to their principles is sure to be as manageable as just a few more goblins poking their nose into a fight.

But they hold their line. No. Child. Murder. Ever. Not even goblin children.

How does Astarion handle a Tav who loves him, wants to help him, even trusts him to bare their heart and turn their back to him... But still challenges him because they remember he's still a monster and they aren't, not yet at least?

Ultimately, I think that's what Astarion needs. Desperately. He needs someone to rein in his darker urges and remind him of the humanity in him-- that he isn't the monster he thinks he is, and that he still has control over himself and doesn't have to fall into the pit of depravity just because he feels he is one.

However, what Astarion needs and what Astarion wants are two totally different things.

It's just raw pragmatism is all. Vampires have changes that happen to them that even they can't control. His desperation shows through when he's willing to feed on Tav despite being in a camp full of warriors that would almost certainly slay him if he was discovered. He needs that blood or he goes feral. He quite literally cannot help himself.

This coupled with his selfish, survivalist nature can be a recipe for disaster. It's only fair that Tav might be wary, because their morals might not align with Astarion's in any given situation, and the darker situations, like the maiming of a child, it might be difficult to know where he stands, so it's easier just to draw the line in the sand before he has a chance to cross it.

He doesn't like it. Astarion likes power. Astarion likes to do what Astarion wants to do without anyone there to question him. Astarion wants full control of his actions and autonomy-- including freedom from the consequences of those choices, regardless of how they might reflect on him.

But that's not love. Love is selfish, yes, but love is also compromise. Love is understanding and caring about your partners needs and feelings, and I think that's genuinely hard for him because it's asking him to give up the one thing he genuinely wants and strives for: Complete and total freedom.

It would take extreme tact and precision, because essentially, if his affection wanes, he has no problem walking away because the sacrifice isn't worth the benefit. He can really like Tav, but realize that he's a vampire that is essentially immortal and he can eventually find someone more suited to his tastes.

But let's assume he doesn't want to. Let's assume he genuinely loves Tav back and is willing to work.

It would still take immense tact. You would basically have to manipulate him and make him think that making the right choices is what he wants. It would have to be framed in such a way that he thinks he came to the conclusion himself. Tav might have to do a mental deep dive and try to figure out why the lines are where they are, because telling Astarion "Because it's the right thing to do" isn't going to fly.

For children, you might be able to frame it as 'They are no threat to you, it's a pointless waste of energy and arrows," or "Focus on the threat at hand. Let them run and focus on the ones that aren't."

I think it's impossible to change Astarion and make him a stereotypical 'good' guy. He is who he is and has centuries of his personality being carved into stone. He will always have to be held in check if there's something truly reprehensible he's aiming for. But you can sort of rewire his brain in a small way so that the truly dreadful things are things he won't consider because he doesn't think he wants to.

He will, essentially, always have to be babysat by a 'good' character, and it is immensely draining, but that's what it is to love a monster.

You cannot change the monster; you can work to tame it, but it will always be a monster. You can love a monster, and it may even love you, but you cannot change its nature.

What makes Astarion a monster isn't that he is a vampire, but that he knows he a vampire. He knows what people expect from him, and he doesn't really give a shit to subvert those expectations. What makes him a monster is his selfishness, and his will do to whatever it takes to be free and live the life he feels was robbed from him. Tav would be asking him to change who he is if they wanted to change that entirely, and that just won't work.

Compromise is the answer. Manipulation and compromise. You'd have to slap a leash on him without him realizing what you've done. And you'd have to make him very happy in the meantime.