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#There's a tendency to look at achilles and apollo as contemporaries or foils or parallels and all of that is correct
gingermintpepper · 4 months
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Recently read a really fantastic fic on Ao3 by the very talented @hellokittysasuke (Link can be found here - do check it out if you're interested in an exploration of Apollo and his many griefs) and one of the things they mentioned in their wonderful reply to my extremely long comment has been rolling around in my head a bit.
Specifically, it was about readings of the Iliad where people view Apollo's directing of Paris' arrow as an act of mercy - that it was a rare act of compassion from a god that had been otherwise adversarial to Achilles because he, more than any god or mortal, understood the pain of continuing to live after one's soul has already died. I find this interesting for a myriad of reasons - the fact that Achilles' death is not actually portrayed in the text of the Iliad notwithstanding - but chiefly because, well, put plainly, Apollo despises Achilles. And, even more relevantly, in the context of this fic which deals primarily with Apollo writing a letter to Hyacinthus, I felt like it highlights even more intensely what Apollo despised about Achilles.
In Book 24, when Apollo makes a stand against Achilles' prolonged desecration of Hector's corpse and rights as a warrior, he says:
"But murderous Achilles... that man without a shred of decency in his heart... his temper can never bend and change--/Achilles has lost all pity!... No doubt some mortal has suffered a dearer loss than this, a brother born in the same womb, or even a son... " "The Fates have given mortals hearts that can endure."
Because grief affords lenience - just as wrath, or passion or any other myriad of intense, afflicting emotion but Achilles had lost his humanity in his anger, had lost every human decency and thus had to be hunted like a beast and slain with the arrow instead of the sword. And I think the contrast between Achilles' grieving and the other examples that are presented in the fic - Prometheus' anguish as he's eaten alive, primordial man when they were severed down the middle and left yearning, Apollo who must love and lose in perpetuity - are that they are examples of that human quality of endurance. That yes, things hurt - they might even hurt for thousands of years, but eventually, eventually they will stop hurting. The pain that was endured will be alleviated, it will be a memory, it will be a kindness and it must be accepted just as joy and peace and love are accepted.
Anyway, go read hellokittysasuke's fic, it's really good and I cannot stop thinking about it.
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