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el-presidente-amacna · 2 years

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𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔾𝕖𝕞 𝕚𝕟 𝕀

𝐀𝐧 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐊𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐧𝐚

“A gem is not polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials' ' is a Chinese proverb that are words to perfectly summarize what my journey has been. Hi! My name is Kieve Paulo. I was born on June 3rd of 2004 while the twins of Gemini dwindled in the night sky. I was named after the capital city of Ukraine, which is currently under attack by Russia right now, Kiev. My mother saw the name of the city in a Mabuhay magazine months prior to my birth. I suppose my mother wanted my name and I to stand out. She added an extra “e” at the end to make it her own. My second name is Paulo, the same as my father in his honor. I was born in Veterans Hospital here in Quezon City, Philippines and since then have lived here. I guess you could say I have always been a city boy. My parents were quite young when they had me in their lives. But I was never neglected, nor did I ever feel like we were less of any family.

At five months old, I was already bringing home awards. As a baby with quite the charm, my mother submitted my photo on a talk show called “Sis!” on GMA-7 and I won first place in a photo contest called “Cutest Baby Photo Contest — Sponsored by Tikitiki.” I have been told numerous times that I was such a spontaneous child. That I could be running for hours on end and be dripping in sweat but regardless of the sun beaming its rays high up in the sky, I would not care. I was fortunate enough to experience life outdoors as a kid should. I would play and sprint from dusk to dawn with my cousins in the streets mindless of time and our safety. My parents did tell me that I would repeatedly get in accidents. There was even a time where a bike rider offered my parents financial compensation for accidentally running me over. I do not exactly recall that, but it’s a fun story to think about.

I started attending school in the year of 2008 at four years old. I first attended a little pre-school in the picturesque premises of the University of the Philippines. I started my first ever school experience in Parish of the Holy Sacrifice Outreach Pre-school. It was my first taste of school life and initially I was always the brightest boy. I moved to Saint Vincent School for kindergarten. That year was quite hilarious. There were only 6 students in class. Eventually for preparatory, I moved back to Parish of the Holy Sacrifice Outreach Pre-school. In 2010, I remember leading the singing of the national anthem for the graduation. Poor little Kieve. He did not know then what the National Anthem was and was battling a fever. Ever since I was little, I knew I was quite the warrior.

At seven years of age, I started entering the Elementary stage of my education. I attended Mayfield Montessori Academy in the year of 2011. When I entered that school I felt lost at first. It was a whole new environment with a whole new different purpose. I was on new turf and it felt like I was in battle. But I was wrong. The school truly helped me. I believe it was at that school I had the closest bond of friendship I had at such an early stage of my life. In this school I started becoming more responsible. I dabbled more into arts such as singing and my love for the English language truly flourished.

Fast forward to 2014, I once again was transferred to a different school. The university which I still call home up to this day: New Era University. This university was my first taste of uttered university life. I was such a small kid thrown into the bustle of NEU. It was overwhelming. The evident Christian culture embedded into every move of the university was the first time I ever saw it. In 2016, I met my closest friends who until now are my rock. That year truly was one of the most momentous for me. I started my last year of elementary school in 2016. Graduating was one of many feats.

I never realized how much I took the year of 2019 for granted. 2019 was such a year of challenge but every second of it was absolutely magical. It was the year I developed further as a man. Bonds were created. And memories were built. In 9th grade my bond with my closest friends became tighter. We were told that third year high school could be the most challenging. We were scared, no doubt. But everything had fallen into place. I've always taken great pride in how I show myself and my ability to talk in public. Public speaking was never a chore for me; rather, it was something I looked forward to. However, when I was picked as a debate speaker for my section in 9th grade, my devotion was put to the test. Debates were a frantic and important series of events. I was surprised at how difficult and demanding being a speaker was for someone who is also quite loud and opinionated, which are qualities I appreciate.

I recall spending countless nights and hours with my scribes and other speakers in sessions. It also tested my ability to portray conviction while giving apparent and statistically analyzed factual data that benefited our side, which was invariably on the negative side. Each speaker would be given five minutes to deliver their remarks. That meant a lot to me. In five minutes, anything might go wrong or south. I recall standing on the podium, my legs trembling and my hands clutching the podium's corners. But I wasn't going down without a fight.

My team and I persevered and made it to the championship round. We unfortunately did not win the last round due to a tight call. But I didn't want to perceive things in such a negative light. I wanted to slap myself on the back for raising the flag of my team and section, and to emphasize that just making it to the finals round is something to be proud of. Now, more than ever, I am a firm believer in public speaking.

In the same year, I was invited to co-host for the Grades 7 and 8’s Miss Millennial. It was pretty interesting because it was my first time hosting such an event. I never really had any hosting experience before. But I was honored to be chosen as one. As a huge pageant fan, it was perplexing to be on the other side of the curtain. The stress and anxiety that goes behind the stage is immense. I remember having countless meetings with event organizers and fellow pageant hosts just on the day before the pageant. Everything seemed last minute. But we all pushed through. It had its bumps, no doubt. But I had such a grand time hosting. I would ask the audience questions, give out a few jokes, a few lighthearted banter, and keep the show going.

My hosting gigs did not end there. Being that I was part of the Young English Communicators’ Club, I was asked to once again co-host the Reading and English Month’s culminating activity. It was one grand event. I had the opportunity to host the Book Character Impersonation Contest, announce winners, and of course also celebrate my triumph for winning The Read Aloud Contest and my team’s Second Place win on the Debates. It was such a fruitful year. We just didn’t know what would come after…

The pandemic struck the world. A simple week long class cancellation was celebrated by every Eranian for we all yearned and thirsted for a break. Little did we know it would be the last we ever stepped foot into the university.

In March of 2020, everything shut down. I was stuck in our house. Alone with my thoughts and my mind endlessly running and craving for release. But I couldn’t. I would spend hours on end without any sense of productivity and honestly be in a slump the entire day. I met someone in the pandemic. What a bliss of circumstances, it’s a relief honestly. It was in 2020 I truly continued to flourish as a man. I started working out to fit into society’s labeled standards, but I was not going to succumb to that any longer. I decided to create my own standard and realize my own self worth. It was a long and hard battle of self love.

I thought about how social media was a tool for us to share and connect through our screens. However, when I walked in, my eyes were graced over thousands upon thousands of people in the virtual environment of numerous social media sites.Thousands upon thousands of picture-perfect people living picture-perfect lives. All I saw every time I swiped were people who have the unmistakable shape of an hourglass. Porcelain-like skin that is soft and radiant.There are no flaws in their complexions. And lifestyles brimming with a plethora of material goods. I surrendered to an abyss of insecurity as an overwhelming feeling overtook my body.

My insecurities were valid, I admit. But I would not rub salt to the wound, I would not add fuel to the inferno of inferiority I had burning by continuously comparing myself to the shallow perfection and toxicity of social media. I know I am enough. I would not limit myself from improving, that is true. But in that abyss, I will not drown again.

In March of 2021, I officially became a kuya. It was amazing how after 16, almost 17 years I had a baby sister. Growing up everyone thought I was a spoiled brat for being an only child which I was not. I have always been a kuya to younger cousins or friends but I am grateful to have had another bundle of joy for me to spoil and officially call sis.

Now in Senior High School. I have chosen the Humanities and Social Science Strand under the Academic Track. Senior High has been the most challenging. Working online and countless hours in front of a laptop is honestly depressing. I have never been more exhausted sitting. But I always realize how much of a privilege it honestly is to still be studying in a pandemic. I was elected as class president for my section. It was an honor to be nominated and voted by the majority. It truly showed their trust and valor in me and this is something I would uphold.

My life is not the most interesting, nor the most notable. But as I continue to journey within this lifetime, I would always consider myself a gem. A gem filled with flaws . A gem who needs further polishing. I am a gem. A diamond in the rough. But I will continue to shine.

#writing autobiography #wandering mind #creative nonfiction #chermedkaloka

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tomashess-blog · 5 years

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PROJECT 1B: How Maui Slowed the Sun

Sunspots

The first thing that changed was the air. It began to melt between my fingertips, leaving a film of molten hot sweat that bubbled and steamed into nothingness. The sky stared back at me with frozen blue eyes through the murky light of dawn, separated from the earth by only the thin white line of a distant cloud. Brittle rocks cracked under my feet like eggshells, echoing the rhythmic swing of footsteps and marking the presence of life in what appeared to be, for the most part, a lifeless wasteland. Typically, it would seem very unusual for such a high temperature in the early hours of the day, but still the heat persisted, a fluid wall that strained any attempt of movement through its borders.

Our quest was a mad hunt, an ambitious whim that I had opposed from the very start. My brother, the demigod Māui-tikitiki, is a hero among our people, but this popularity masks his identity as a trickster. He is forceful in his will, and bows to neither God nor nature, and as such is the embodiment of the human condition, a show of aspiration, conflict and mortality. He had promised that by the beating of his heart, he would cross the steepest mountain and the roughest water to reach the sun god Tama-nui-te-rā, and beat him until he agreed to move slower across the sky.

“This is pointless.”

“Would you just shut up and keep moving?”

“Māui!” I cried, unable to contain the words, swimming like fish, around my mind, “Tama-nui-te-rā has done nothing to harm us. Should we not be grateful for the warmth he already provides us? Should we not be grateful for his rise and fall, and his light that shines brighter than any torch? Are we so separated by our humanity from nature that we must constantly seek to fight it?” I questioned, as these thoughts had been with me since our departure.

A scoff followed a cunning grin as Māui stood before us and said, “Brothers, you yourselves have chosen to follow me, for my goal is not selfish in its desire. What I seek is for the good of all of us.”

“The pain we shall inflict upon the sun may cripple him for eternity, and the effect of our deed shall be irreversible” I spoke, with a lingering sense of sympathy and melancholy.

“Well, I believe his suffering will benefit all of humanity. From here, I can see a better future for our family.”

We followed Māui, like soldiers following orders, until we were met with the sound of roaring thunder. The cave in which the sun lived was carved deep within the earth, and from it a faint glow became apparent. We took the rope from our sides and snared the tangled locks of Tama-nui-te-rā as he awoke from his torpor. He opened one of his amber eyes and glared at us with burning violence. I could feel his heat singe the hair on my arm as I struggled with the rope. Every inch of my body flared with pain as muscle contracted and fingers tightened. I felt compelled to struggle, as the lives of my four brothers hung in the balance, but as Maui raised the Jawbone of his ancestor, my thoughts became clear amidst the chaos. Tama-nui-te-ra’s power was absolute, and in his rule over nature I saw divinity. And so, as furious blows reigned down upon the sun, guilt began to sit heavy upon me. The primal urge for dominance lies deep within the cracks of the human psyche. We seek conquest throughout life, and with all that is organic, from the earth that we are made, we wish to separate ourselves. My desire to be with nature was thus betrayed by the agony in the eyes of the sun.

Thousands of years after my death, the sun limps slowly across the sky. My visions of great consequence have been realised, as the suns blistering heat now melts our ice and burns our skin. The actions of Māui resonate with humanity to this day, as black marks from each of his blows now scar the face of Tama-nui-te-rā, and are known as sunspots.

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