#Tommy's in-character fixation on Dream has a lot to do with his out-of-character faith that if he throws a ball Dream will catch it

[enneamage]

i am curious about your thoughts on dream and tommy, esp if you think their dynamic mirrors in any way to their lore/dsmp dynamic (because it's honestly deranged that they kinda just slipped into that)

Tommy and Dream hit a lot of different notes over the course of their Lore, but most people zero in on their late-game dynamic so I assume that’s what you’re going for as well. I’m going to zoom in on the exile point because doing an overview of their entire relationship through the DSMP would take a while and you get to see a lot of contact between the characters there, even if the situation is specific.

I can’t know if I’m right, but since the lore was known to be at least half-negotiated it always felt like their roles in exile were a lot more than incidental. Tommy leaned hard and fast into a Stockholm syndrome caricature at a rate that felt kind of unearned, honestly-- not complaining about the pacing, just drawing attention to the fact that it had to be intentional if it was moving that fast. Tommy wanted that distressing, extreme end result. He leaned into it, he played it up, it was for an audience at the end of the day and it’s important to keep in mind that he is skilled at baiting an emotional reaction from people in more ways than just laughter. Tommy was always good at staging drama and kicking up hooks during streams, driving his character to emotional extremes during exile was more of the same.

In my first C!Tommy lorepost I said that I saw the exile arc as Tommy going “Just fuck me up” and Dream replying “Say no more, I got you.” Standing outside of both of them, their capacities to define themselves by their environment and the people in them are pretty big. The escalated each other because they made each others roles for the other clear and easy to play off, which gave them both a direction. When exile was over, one of the lines that cc!Tommy throws out half-in and half-out of character is that he misses dream, and that it was much easier when he was around because Tommy always knew what to do. On the other end, C!Dream was assigned villain by The Narrative from the beginning and part of his arc was him learning to lean into it to get what he wanted. A shared fondness for intensity made their connection one of the most charged relationships on the server, and if you look at it from a meta perspective they really brought in the eyeballs together. You can see outside of the roleplay that Dream was always on board with getting Tommy primes and strategizing with him on how to achieve certain goals—in character they’re opposed, but out of character they’re working together towards a shared story.

Tommy likes roleplaying extreme power dynamics. I’m not quite sure why but there’s a mountain of evidence that he does, he goes to it in his humor a lot, if there’s an opportunity to be henchman-coded he’s on it like white on rice. He’s not afraid of pick up the other end of the stick as well, playing up having absolute power over other people. We’ve never encountered his ability to play A Karen in a super serious roleplay way but the things that naturally come out of his mouth when asked to play an unstable control freak are a dead giveaway that he knows what an unstable, manipulative person looks and sounds like—he’s just as capable of picking up the other end of the roleplay, he just hasn’t in a longform serious way (Yet. I have a vision and my fingers crossed.)

Dream’s ability to play the other end of the dynamic was interesting. C!Dream presented himself the logician who was only incidentally emotional, but the fact that C!Dream did not want to be alone became one of the main plot points in the end, so the fact that he kept extending ‘friendly’ connection to Tommy was more than just another ends-above-means maneuver. C!Dream becomes someone who gets lost in his own tactics and thinking, becoming blind to his own emotions even though they were what put him into action to begin with. He was controlling and subtle during exile (not super subtle but more subtle than Tommy) and would often try to be the ‘reasonable’ one when Tommy was talking out his emotions, even when the emotions he was talking out were exactly the ones that Dream intended to inspire. The drive to play problem-solver and trouble-shooter never really died out, despite the changing circumstances.

Out of character, which is also visible though the exile vods, one of the features of Tommy and Dream’s relationship is that Tommy can run rings around Dream and surprise him often. Friendly antagonism, unless it’s actively getting him into hot water, does not actually put CC!Dream off—He’s the kind of guy who play-fights for fun. Some of Dream’s own stories are being a rowdy kid on a Minecraft server, there’s next to no way he doesn’t see parts of himself in Tommy. They trade back and forth on who is the straight man in a given situation when they’re out of character because they’re similar people, in a Six-type way. As part of that, not only is Tommy someone who belongs to the type of person that gets nicknamed The Loyalist, so is Dream. They’re both people who like to put roots down with people and don’t cut ties easily, so attaching that instinct to someone who you see a reflection of that trait in probably feels natural.  

I know my usual motto is “Minecraft roleplay is real, actually,” but that usually comes out when two “characters” spend a lot of time together to the point where staying ‘in character’ all the time isn’t feasible anymore and they return to their base personalities. In times when Dream and Tommy were Peak Antagonistic, they weren’t spending a lot of time together in VC and it was hard to get the two of them in a room outside of a plotted event. Exile is an example of how they dipped in and out of character and blended two different dynamics into one setting, creating a temporary ally relationship because they just couldn’t fake being enemies for that long. Dream and Tommy didn’t just fall into being antagonistic, they negotiated the disc war from the very beginning and then raced each other to opposite extremes to achieve a goal.

[ruwithmeguys]

(These are just my own personal; thoughts: you may take zero seriousness in them - I may add to this)

So… John. Right.

Give me a moment…

There’s a lot, so much, to dig into here. It feels good to be talking about OTA, especially after months of newbies weirdness.

I need to air this out.

I posted something recently about my love for this show even with its many weaknesses. I still love it. I enjoyed 6.17, as god awful as it was to see Oliver being dragged through the mud again. I also don’t agree with Diggle; not with his words, because he didn’t suggest a thing: he has 100% made a decision about Oliver and it isn’t a good one. The path he’s decided to travel down however… is.

Bear with me?

For a while now, it’s been very clear that Arrow is the kind of show that gives good results but can’t seem to get a handle on the journey there. The journey often sucks: it’s either badly written, angst for the sake of angst, sacrificing character progression or just something you don’t want to see.

Best examples are: Oliver’s 7 episode lie leading to the Baby Mama drama, just to set Olicity back awhile because they knew S5 wouldn’t be the last season. The newbies drawn out reason for blaming Oliver for leaving the team just so that they could bring it up every 5 seconds for 5 episodes straight. LL’s BC arc where Sara was a plot device and then the arc died and nothing came of it.

It’s not always like this. There are good examples.

Tommy’s death led to the entirety of season 2. Olicity’s star-crossed season: a literal entire season near-dedicated to it and the journey was sweet etc.

But there have been enough moments for me to know that I might hate the newbie arc several episodes before it started. Too many components + little time = question-marks.

The term, ‘the ends don’t justify the means’, seems to only pertain to Oliver on Arrow… and Felicity. In a way, that’s a compliment to her. They’re equals. Of a higher status. But for the most part, it’s unfair. And every season it seems to be the theme. Make Oliver loose everyone, one way or another.

The newbies lashed out time and time again, then hurting John when all they really wanted was out from under Oliver’s shadow. John is ready for more, ready for weight, but he gets it by hurting his best friend 6.17. BS has killed people both for pleasure and to save her skin and yet, has received no consequence (though having Quentin’s stalker-like obsession with trying to force his daughter’s personality on her, might be deemed one) because you can’t change an individual who doesn’t see the issue with their own actions.

They all do it, all reaching for progression, more often than not by throwing Oliver’s mistakes in his face, but why do they get to get away with that? And why is Oliver the target for their choices?

Unfortunately, since I’ve been wondering about this since the start of S3, I know I won’t get what I want. Maybe not ever, but definitely not now. But this isn’t why I’m talking about this.

The point is, I understand where the writers and show runners are taking Dig. We should enjoy it greatly. But he’s done it, deliberately, by pushing Oliver into a dark corner and that’s left a bitter taste. It didn’t need to be this happy, peppy thing. But why use Oliver as a source of blame for wanting a change? For wanting more?

He lashed out. There’s a reason for it beyond plot device - it was probably one of the worst ways they could have done this.

Dig. Is. Done. With. OTA.

With being a member and not a leader.

Let’s put it into perspective.

For 6 years John has covered Oliver’s back, has followed orders and has joined in the making of them. He’s agreed/disagreed with Oliver and stood back as Oliver saved the day or made the wrong choices. But for the first time, in 5.23, John was physically and irreparably hurt by someone fixated on Oliver. Diggle and everyone else, was stranded on an island because a mad man wanted Oliver to suffer.

A mad man who’s father Oliver had made the decision to kill years before.

Not for the first time, John’s life was affected by Oliver. But for the first time, John has a reason to feel resentment. Because of Adrian, he could no longer shoot a gun, making his only real life vocation – being a soldier in some shape or form – mute. Null. Done. Imagine the fear. Fair or not, in his head Oliver is at the centre of that.

For several months, he kept it from people because he couldn’t face the very real possibility that he might be made redundant. That he was unreliable.

A very SELFISH decision (keep this in mind please). The wrong decision. But it was also, understandable. He’s human and he was terrified of letting people know. It’s why he’s forgiven later on. However.

Oliver gave him the suit and something small, grew large in John.

It had nothing to do with the suit and everything to do with what it entailed. In John’s opinion, Oliver ‘gave up’ being the Green Arrow. This was so wishful thinking. 

It wasn’t permanent. But he hoped it was and acted like it was and decided that it was. Without talking to anyone. It switched a light on in Diggle; he realised what he wanted and he thought Oliver was giving it to him… because he thought - wished - Oliver had seen that he’d lost the efficacy to lead.

Now this is where it takes a slight detour from understandable to egocentric.

After being given the title, he does everything he can to keep it. He takes drugs, gets addicted. After seeing Felicity’s chair-arc being so quickly and neatly (unrealistically) tied up, we all knew the same would happen here and it did. But it left John with a feeling. Oliver had stepped away… for reasons Dig deems selfish now.

Now, when I found that out I flipped my shit because, dude – you have a family too? You left the team too?? You’ve prioritised your own wants/wishes above everyone else’s more than once??? Why doesn’t it apply????

But for Dig, it’s also about Oliver being spread too thin and, well, years of things left unsaid. Years of memories being seen in a new light and when you have to do that you validate things, it gets a little screwy.

John has very clearly had things building up inside him. Maybe it’s just been this season. Maybe it’s been longer but for sure, Adrian Chase plays a part in this.

It doesn’t give him the right throw any of it back in Oliver’s face when he was an active participant in every single thing that’s happened over the years. Oliver even says it:

“When did all these magically become my decisions? I seem to remember you. Right there. Next to me.”

And he says a few other things too:

“My trail of bodies didn’t include my own brother.”

Whelp. Normally I’d be all – TOO FAR OLIVER – but Dig started this unfairly. Prepare to meet even colder truths dude. It’s not a nice feeling is it?

John waited for Oliver to hand back the title of GA because deep down, he thinks Oliver can’t hack the leadership role anymore and you know what? Maybe he can’t. Maybe he has spread himself too thin. Maybe he needs to re-evaluate. But who is John to make that decision?

The problem is that John has lost faith in Oliver’s ability to get it back. That confidence. And if he’s lost faith in Oliver then, how can he stay?

And so, a fight ensues.

And so, Oliver finds out the truth: his best friend no longer has his back, because suddenly, John doesn’t think Oliver is a good leader. Suddenly he knows better.

Now, we all figured that John’s NEED to be GA was something beyond the mask. Either, he wanted to be more than what he was and he was feeling repressed. It was residual anger at being hurt by Oliver’s enemy (in which case, it would be solved by the end of 6.17). Or… it was EGO and the hood was just a symbol of something else. I didn’t want it to be the latter.

Of course, that means it would be the latter.

David mentioned 5.08 recently. He said that DIggle was the GA and that it was interesting but it didn’t necessarily mean the suit. It meant being a hero by himself. He also said - for people who have hated his line about 5.08 being the dream reality - was that Oliver was able to make right his wrongs to LL who, after his father, he felt the most guilt for. That literally was the title for S5. Make right his wrongs.

CONFIRMATION IS BEAUTIFUL.

Ahem.

In a way, maybe it’s all three but it definitely leads closer to ego.

It’s a legitimate reason too, wrapped up in this steady feeling of disapproval he’s been passively omitting since the start of S6. Not the one we necessarily wanted. Not a good one. But it’s a legit reason. And it doesn’t tarnish Dig’s character exactly. What it does do, is diverts John’s trajectory away from OTA. But it adds an element of… is it superiority, selfishness or the kind of judgement he only threw at Oliver once (4.01)?

But the writers put Diggle on a pedestal, one we’ve enjoyed: he’s Yoda. He’s supposed to see the wisdom and rightness of everything. He’s supposed to be fair. He’s not supposed to do this.

I’m glad he did. (I mean, where was his story headed save in a cycle?)

I’m NOT glad about how he did it. 

How he did it was cruel. And utterly undeserved. Ugly, even.

I mean, he had to remind Oliver of the death of William’s mother as a way of justifying his reasoning. It’s almost conceit isn’t it? 

When I mention ego, I mean this: Dig got a taste of what it meant to be in Oliver’s shoes and found that he not only liked it, but developed a sense of self that can be likened to pride or arrogance but is actually growth overshadowed by the brutal way he puts it forward.

But it’s supposed to be negative.

We’re not supposed to see this well... YET.

Maybe next season the writers/show runners etc will allow Oliver to succeed and for the blame to be thrown at someone else but this year, I think it’s about Oliver being a hero… alone.

With Felicity in his ear, yes, but: alone.

Like season 1, but inverted.

Dig’s ready to move on but it looks more like he’s disappointed in Oliver… for not being great? For having more than one vocation? For trying? I mean, at least acknowledge that.

And he does, to a degree. He tells Oliver that ‘it’s true that you’ve become a better person’. Gee. But, in becoming a better person he’s become a worse leader… because of the methods he used to become a better person?

Wow John. Didn’t realise two months as Oliver after taking drugs makes you the guru of leader-hood. In fact, seeing him as the leader of the team made me see all the ways he shouldn’t be the leader of THAT team. Another team, sure. He’s a good leader. But not the right person.

(I mean, it’s hugely hypocritical to tell Oliver he’s a bad leader when John was taking drugs as the leader. When he put people in danger because of it. But sure, Oliver’s a bad leader.)

That being said, John already had a wealth of experience before the very first season of Arrow. As a solider and a leader, just not a vigilante. Now he has both so maybe he feels righteous in believing he can do better, but did he have to walk over his best friend to do it?

That fight last night wasn’t just ego; it came from anger. Resentment. Disappointment. A six year build of opposing beliefs. I’ve felt this very passive aggressive impression from John/David throughout season 6 so far, so when details for 6.17 came out, I thought the worst. This isn’t just a team split, this is permanent guys.

Don’t worry; they’ll get their friendship back… eventually. Not yet, because they both said and did things that hurt far too much for it to happen all at once. But I’m not sure he’ll ever be in the team again.

We’ll have OTA too at some point (S7?). But after this, Dig re-joining as a team member would undermine his clear wish to grow beyond the parameters his character’s been given the last few years. It’s good that they’re having him join Argus. More SL’s for characters we care for.

And… didn’t Oliver mention it (his words and actions) being out of character?

Which means, it’s deliberate. THEY KNOW. The whole thing. They know we’ll hate it. They’re doing to keep them all apart, to make it more a bad thing at the moment, to give Diggle more story - but most of all - they’re doing it to make Oliver rise ALONE. With Felicity, sure; but still alone.

And I think they’re aiming for Diggle to start his own team. Maybe the new Suicide Squad? He’s worked with them before. The point is, we’ve got these two alpha males who can more than handle business and unfortunately, Diggle’s SL could no longer grow in the basement, not when he can be more.

He needs to spread his wings, a development I’m all for. Imagine Argus and Olicity working together in S7?

But they’ve made it come at a cost: it makes a lot of us look at Diggle and think, ‘why the hell would you do that?’

It all stems back to how his injury made him feel months ago. And when you’re alone in your hurt, you’re an outsider. You see things differently to others and he’s seen a side to Oliver that he doesn’t like.

But he’s not just turning away from Oliver; he’s turning away from Felicity. From Diaz. And that wasn’t necessary. He’s put himself first but only after lecturing Oliver on his selfishness.

He’s allowed to fall down.

But he’s metaphorically and literally crapped on the last 6 years of their work – not by walking away – but by throwing decisions that they all made and blaming the results and ramifications solely on Oliver and used it to explain his need to leave.

Yet he also made a good point: he makes us and Oliver think of how other people see us as opposed to what we want them to see. It’s the rudest awakening. He can’t grow being there with Oliver. Some people know in seconds what they need. Others take 6 years. 

I’m down for this.

It’s supposed to be a big shock: that Dig suddenly does this. Says things that he wouldn’t normally say and though Oliver does address that, John’s reason wasn’t enough for me. I don’t think we’re supposed to be ok with Diggle at the moment. And I’m not.

But I’m weirdly good with not being.

I need to watch the season in full before I make a complete assessment.

And I don’t think we’re supposed to be ok with the newbies either.

By giving Diggle the suit, Oliver showed faith and trust. Respect. In return, he’s rewarded with disrespect and a lack of that same faith he’d offered.

The newbies did the same.

Now Stephen and David acted their ass’s off – they give a shit about this. There’s a reason we don’t know about yet.

Remember what we were told at the beginning of S6?

Unlike previous seasons, every character would need help/advice, be lost at sea or hurt in some way. Oliver would be their coach, their anchor, their teacher.

That doesn’t just stop.

They’ve all renounced his wisdom, teachings and faith in them, found him lacking, believing him a hypocrite who isn’t as good as he thinks he is.

Now, there have been times where Oliver has been a hypocrite. When he found out about a mole in the team, his FIRST action should have been to let them know. To bring them all together and say ‘I know and I’m giving whoever it is 24 hours to come tell me, after which I will start infringing on your privacy because I have a son to think about’.

Instead, he misused their trust and even cornered Dinah.

Because of that, they lost faith in him.

He did not deserve how they reacted after the fact. 

(May I also remind that Diggle AGREED with his plan to abuse their trust? Bad leader skills Dig. Oh wait.)

He definitely does not deserve the accusations Diggle threw at him. But he does need to re-evaluate. He hasn’t made great decisions. But he hasn’t earned THIS level of scorn.

So, clearly, he’s going to be outed as the GA.

It comes back to the start of the season.

Either someone will do it to hurt him or he’ll do it, for them all but also himself. He’ll do it, because HE Is the GA. He’ll do it because prison beckons. He’ll do it to save them all. He’ll be THE hero. And he’ll face the consequences.

This season is a very reactive season. Oliver hasn’t really done any huge thing people need to be appalled at: it’s like people are looking at months, years, of choices and deciding they no longer agree with him.

The only person he’ll have on his side now is Felicity.

I’m glad she agreed with Oliver. I’m glad they showed her trying to bridge the ever-growing gap between Oliver and Diggle that’s been present since 6.07 (yup – back then). And even though he’ll lash out at her in the next episode, they’ll fix it quick because he’s going to take on Diaz alone. Not necessarily without her but since he can’t trust anyone BUT her, it will make sense to him to keep her out of it (I think... maybe??).

I hated hearing Diggle say what he said.

I hated that he thought Oliver stating that the hood was/is a part of him (of course it is) was selfish and made him a bad leader.

I hated the gap between Diggle wanting the hood to this because of the newbie arc as it left us all a little perplexed to the level of heat in Dig’s argument.

I hated another character dumping on him. Blaming him. Making it all Oliver’s fault. 

And yet... I liked the episode. I really like this season.

I don’t think they’ve sacrificed Dig’s character. I think they’ve deliberately changed it. 

I DO think they’ve made Dig say and do things that Oliver won’t be able to forgive for a while.

Oliver won’t want his help. Or the newbies help. And Felicity will be petrified, because her greatest fear is loosing him and she’s going to be forced to face it in one way or another.

It is the curse of Arrow. Eventually we are given a plot in each season that we disagree with. But it’s miles better than an episode of the canaries screaming at each other. I really did enjoy it. I’m just not on Dig’s side (though his scenes with Lyla were spot on).

And I like the idea of Diggle joining Argue and everything it entails. I’ve kind of wanted Diggle to split form Oliver for a while and I can see so many good SL’s coming from this in S7.

“If you feel the need to make someone feel less assured of themselves or have to call another person out, you may gain a false sense of superiority.” ― Kristin Michelle Elizabeth

Jessica’s ramble ends here. 

[spectrogramblog]

The Id of L.A.

“There’s a feeling I get when I look to the West”…those are the first lyrics of Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven. When the band would come into town, they would take over two entire floors of the Hyatt Sunset. It was coined, appropriately enough, the “riot house”. Its hallways and suites adorned by groupies and cocaine, sex and parties. What else is new in a town infamous for excess? Was this heaven? Not exactly a celestial kingdom, but, Los Angeles, the City of Angels, has had its share of both luminaries and would be stars among its population.

A continuous renewal and recycle of street corner prophets, backroom political dealmakers, and rock star poets. The city of Jim Morrison, Charles Bukowski, Biddy Thompson, Kenneth Hahn, and even George Lopez. Shamans, poets, politicians, jokers. Their talent and fortitude have created legends. Heroes to some, nuisances to others, these Angelenos personify the City of Los Angeles. Bicultural before the term even existed. These Angelenos have had their feet in the sand, their heads in the clouds, their faces to the wind, their hands in the “masa”. Their hearts are the center of Los Angeles. That center being Hollywood Boulevard, Barney’s Beanery, Olvera Street, or Tommy’s Hamburgers stand all at once. It is both Olvera Street and Pershing Square, and the new Cathedral and L.A. Live. The heart of Los Angeles beats everywhere, it continues to mystify, and remains one of the great cities of the world.

Los Angeles excites the spirit, delights the palate, and bridges the worlds of imagination, illusion, and reality. This wondrous town both fixates and creates. Angelenos, be they real or fiction, have the unique ability of living in three worlds: the dream, the reality, and the in-between. Since the official founding in 1781, Los Angeles, like many great cities of the world: New York, Mexico City, or Tokyo, has, along with its citizens-Angelenos, forged itself this unique identity…the “sad flower in the sand”.

Identity and Los Angeles. The terms and subject matter complement each other so well. Carey McWilliams wrote of Los Angeles as an ethnic and cultural “archipelago”. A city where identity tends to vary from neighborhood to neighborhood. Contrary to places like Mexico City or New York, which seem be virtually identical in their descriptions: subways and metros, overcrowded and rambunctious; Los Angeles and its enclaves do not have such easy identifiers. East L.A can be identified not just by the Chicano/Mexican immigrant culture of tamaleras, lowriders, and homeboys. What comes to mind are second and third generation Eastsiders that are college grads with real estate careers and ties to city politics. The Westside isn’t only falafel stands, liberals and money. We have Venice, Inglewood and Little Osaka on Sawtelle. Even Hollywood’s Walk of Fame doesn’t just tell the story of stardom and tourism. Walk a mile east in any Angeleno’s shoes. You’ll be either in Little Armenia or the Thai/Filipino district. Just a few steps away from any common city artery, the Sunset Boulevards and the Olympics; the real Los Angeles comes to life. One or two block away from these primary arteries of life, we find the blood and the sand.

Immigrants, foreigners, bankers, actors, writers, students, homemakers. Every single one of them-dreamers. They come to Hollywood for the movies, perhaps at a chance to work in television or the film industry. Some come for schooling; others think they will do the educating. One thing is for sure, all we be taught a lesson.

Many also come from Asia or Latin America to reunite with relatives and family. They reestablish and reinvent themselves: get some work as nannies or busboys, and make just enough money to send home every month. Some may even work two full time jobs to make ends meet. Aspiring to save, forging their nest eggs with sweat equity. Households brimming with tias and sobrinos, abuelos y primos. One day, they will have enough to buy a little plot back in their homeland. But then, reality hits. They ARE home now. This is it.

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans” (John Lennon). But when did this all occur? Did the smog in the L.A. Skyline dull their senses? If the afternoon sunlight on a recent December day has anything to do with it, time has now moved ahead. It waits for no one. Everyone’s kitchen overlooks a road now. Not many Angelenos yearn for the wondrous, blissful California days of Helen Hunt Jackson’s character, Senora Moreno. Since the earliest migrations of indigenous settlers, from the Tongva settlers near the L.A River, to the Spanish/Mexican missionaries establishing El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora de Los Angeles y Porciuncula, up to the modern day, the modern day Angeleno, if not careful, looks out their kitchen window and can only hope to be cognizant of watching time, school, work, and many dreams come and go. Los Angeles, and its denizens, are not as suspended in time as they are captive to the city’s imagination.

Absorbed into the cries of the Santa Ana winds are the tears of Ruben Salazar, the prolific L.A. Times writer, killed by an LAPD tear gas container. Into the night sky, like the gaseous night’s view from Griffith Observatory go the frustrations of Armenian immigrants. They wait to commemorate their homeland’s tragic genocide on the streets of Hollywood, Burbank, and Glendale. And what of the people dying to get here? Where else in the world to customs and port officials, on various occasions, deal with international human trafficking on such a distinct level? From coyotes to cargo bins, from San Pedro to safe houses in El Monte, people feel the need to get here.

Los Angeles, what is the song you cry out? You are a siren dressed in coastal sage. Your phoenix chaparral burns bright among your anointed ones. The faithful, the faithless, the dreamers and the realists. The Tod Hacketts, Arturo Bandinis, Nathanael Wests, and the John Fantes: whose yearnings have been engulfed by the lachrymal Pacific; you sing the echoes of the millions that have cried their way home, to you. Your song is the Santa Ana wind, the foehn winds- howling through the canyons and passes. The Santa Monica Mountains and the Cahuenga corridor abound with the energy of your music. Echoing your own identity, you sing the song of your citizens’ past, present, and future. Los Angeles, the City of Quartz, is the anthropomorphic manifestation of its citizens. Citizens whose goals, wishes, and dreams attained or unattained, come in the form of a Bunker Hill view, a Santa Monica sunset, a carbon monoxide-stained palm tree, or an unfinished oil painting.

Fante’s Arturo Bandini had his dreams. Whether he envisioned himself a great author, the romancing playboy, or the keen observer, Bandini dreamt of his success and merit. Hopeful, not of the accomplishments, but of achieving them in Los Angeles. The reader doesn’t seem to doubt his talent. But his dreams of success, of merit, seem captive to his routine. A routine intrinsically raveled in the DNA of Los Angeles. A double helix of illusion and failure. “I went to the restaurant where I always went to the restaurant…I walked out of the restaurant, stood before an imaginary pitcher, and swatted a home run over the fence.” In this state, Bandini, the somnambulist, was captive to his imagination. The delirium of a child nestled in the bosom of Our Lady of the Angels. The city cradles and nurses its own. Each Angeleno feeds from the trough, suckles on the teat of the mother.”

The mother feeds her children. Hopes and prayers, the jungle leads to “la Calle de la Eternidad”…with thirty foot arms and hands stretched out to the heavens, reaching for the stars, muralist Johanna Poethig and her collaborators strove for the city to reach its people. The dreams of all its migrants, stretching out to their respective places of origin. The mural, on Broadway, not only reaches out sixty feet above, but stretches to the other “streets of eternity” across the globe, transcending time and space. It evokes the observer’s memory that, to be a citizen of Los Angeles-doesn’t imply having to give up one’s original roots. As any transplant or “native” Angeleno. “Where are you from? Oh, I’m from here, but, originally…”

“She had to leave Los Angeles. She found it hard to say goodbye to her own best friend. She bought a clock on Hollywood Boulevard the day she left. It felt sad.” (X-Los Angeles). These lyrics, taken from the title track of the seminal L.A. punk rock band X’s eponymous album, Los Angeles, tells the story of mid-western girl who just can’t handle her life in Los Angeles anymore. “All her toys wore out in black and her boys had too. She started to hate every nigger and Jew. Every Mexican that gave her a lot of shit. Every homosexual and the idle rich.” Can any other song tie together both the love/hate relationship with this city any better? Written more than thirty years ago, the band was young, nihilistic. Now, well into middle age, they perform the song to newer generations of fans. New and old fans alike, the listener can be a native Angeleno, a punk rock fan in Belgium, or anywhere across the globe. The track, Los Angeles, resonates pungently of urgency and regret. Stay or go. Love it or leave it. Regardless of where one stands, living in Los Angeles, the resident becomes a part of the city. You end up loving it. Even when one has to part ways with it.

Why do so many come here? An often asked question. “Why? Because if he or she can make it here, then I can definitely handle this place. I mean, it’s not New York!” Better to just say “the weather” or the “California Blonde” than to open a can of worms. The new transplant under estimates the ego and heart of this city. Travelers come to envy those that are “fortunate” enough to reside in L.A. Yes the smog and sun can get to you. Everything collides and contracts here. Illusion and disillusion meet where Broadway and Calle de la Eternidad become one.

A commercial airplane lands at LAX, upon arrival, the traveler gets in their car, begins their trek into Los Angeles. Once at their destination, the majority always tend to ask the same question…”Am I here yet? Is this L.A?” Almost as if a double take is necessary to confirm one’s bearings? Where is the Hollywood sign? What about Compton, In-N-Out, or Pinks? Where do the movie stars live? All commonplace questions. Run of the mill superficial questions for, what they believe to be, a superficial town. It is never, “When and where was the city founded?” or “take me to Olvera Street”.

In stark contrast, upon departure, the business traveler or vacationer seems to always be in a hurry to leave the city. Not knowing if what they just experienced was truly a visit to Los Angeles or just a tour of the Universal Studios backlot. One thing is certain of the visitor to Los Angeles, be their visit short term or tenured, everyone wants to come back. The question is if the City’s enchantments are what beckon the visitor of if it is the illusion and fabrication of many a celluloid dream, superseding even the imagination of a child, that call one back to Paradise City.

The Angeleno also never fully appreciates the solitude of the Hollywood Hills or the mountains that roll down to the ocean. It is, simply put, a given. Angelenos nod their heads in boisterous confidence that “it is what it is”.

On the contrary, one of the Hollywood Hills’ most creatively accomplished residents was an Angeleno by transplant. Aldous Huxley-the famed British author of “Brave New World” and “The Doors of Perception”, loved Los Angeles. Admiring such idiosyncrasies as its drive-in donut shaped diners, the winding desert roads near Palm Springs, or simply, Los Angeles’ Mediterranean climate-he came to call the City of Angels his home. Once in Los Angeles, much of his creativity flourished, be it due to his new surroundings, experiments with psychotropic hallucinogens, or reading Hindu texts such as the Veda. The Veda’s primary subject mature and theme are, appropriately enough, the belief that the physical world is but an illusion. Welcome to the identity of Los Angeles.