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f4survivor · 10 years

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Enduring in the Wake of Tragedy

It was Saturday May 10th and I was lying in my neighbor’s pasture. My foot was severed, my back was broken, and I was sitting amongst the debris of what used to be my home. I was praying intensely, begging that I was not the only one who survived what was the most unimaginable catastrophe.

BEFORE THE STORM

My husband and I purchased 10 acres of land in southwest Missouri in 2001 so that we could move his parents up from Oklahoma to be nearer to us. My father-in-law, Dan, was ailing and we wanted to do all we could to help him, and my mother-in-law Gay, as they aged. We were pleasantly surprised to later find out that Dan was not seriously ill, but rather was diagnosed with diabetes that could be treated with proper diet and closely monitoring his blood sugar. We all worked together very hard to cultivate the rocky Missouri soil to create our little “paradise”, complete with beautiful foliage and vegetable gardens. We lived in two homes on the front five acres and enjoyed thick woods consisting of many varieties of trees and wildlife in the five acres to our rear. I am an avid animal lover, and Gay and I both loved dogs in particular. We had a total of eight dogs between the two homes, as well as pet birds, a rabbit, about 400 gallons of fish (inside and out) and even a pet snake.

In January 2005, my husband’s brother Jeff came to live with us after losing his very high stress job of more than ten years. Jeff soon joined him in his drywall finishing business and was happy with us in the country. He helped us work and maintain that property; he would assist Gay with her gardens, we'd set up a pool every summer and we all practically lived outside when the weather was nice. Another brother, Joe, would visit frequently and was also staying with us the weekend of May 10th. The Monroes are a very large, close knit family, and there were many happy memories made in the seven years we had there together.

DAY OF DEVASTATION

May 10th actually started as a very nice day... it was warm enough that we were all outside working – the guys were mowing the grass and I was in the gardens. Gay had been out all day and got home around five. She had changed into a robe and came over when it became overcast, and said she saw on the news where there was baseball size hail being reported in Ottawa county (the next county over on the Oklahoma side). We all decided to move the cars under the trees, as that is what we always did when it looked like we might get hail. Jeff would always tease me about my fear of the storms, and jokingly said to me at that moment, as he had several times before, "We're all going to die."

After we moved the cars, Gay came back out and all six of us walked to our driveway to look towards the west as it got very dark; we thought we were looking at a dark line of rain, but then the horizon changed suddenly, it became denser somehow and our neighbor's horses became very frantic. We did not recognize what we were seeing as a tornado because it encompassed the entire horizon... but we did know at that point something was very bad and very wrong, and we needed to take cover… immediately. Our neighbor had told us that we could come to his safe room and that was always our plan as we had no basement... but there was no time - we made it into Dan & Gay's house and weren't there 20 seconds before it was on us.

The photo below is of the actual monster that hit us, and shows how it looked after it had reduced down to about 1/2 mile wide and was headed towards Neosho, MO

What was happening was utterly incomprehensible; we were all so completely stunned and consumed with disbelief. It happened in what seemed to be an extremely short amount of time; my husband and his brothers were looking out the window, trying to assess exactly what was happening. The electricity went out and the home started shaking violently, I remember thinking that this must be what an earthquake feels like. The boys pulled away suddenly from the windows and my husband yelled for me to go into his parent’s closet; I immediately did as he said, taking two of the dogs with me.

I sat down in the threshold of the closet and tried to get into a tuck position – I was drawing on my gymnastics experience as a young girl and knew I had to be in a tight ball. I had my beloved small dog Chief in my lap and was holding another, Artie, by the collar at my side. I could see across the bedroom into the master bath and saw the west wall crumbling, almost like a large ocean wave headed straight for me. I also saw the silhouette of one of the others coming into the bedroom, but I could not make out whom.

The noise was deafening… not like the proverbial train sound, but like many jet engines, right on top of us. The floor started breaking up underneath me and at the same time, the “wave” hit… lifting the house (and me) up and backwards. I tried to keep my eyes open but could only see things in “flashes”. I could see everything breaking up around me and I soon lost grip of Artie at my side. I was tumbling; my arms and legs kept trying to get away from me and Chief was sucked straight out of my arms – it was an enormous vacuum. I saw my left leg get away and the blow from the object (lumber, I think) that struck my foot.

I knew I was dying and all I could think to do was to pray and thank God for the life I had, and to please spare the others. The storm then dropped me; it was still very dark, and raining and hailing heavily. It felt as if I was being pummeled with large rocks and I was still praying incessantly. I saw one of the big dogs, a chocolate lab named Jake, running crazed after the storm. I knew our house had been hit as well, as that is where Jake was with two other dogs.

When the hail and rain stopped I sat up and knew I had to find the others, but there was the matter of my foot. I checked to make sure that I was not bleeding out, I was able to grab a shirt that was near me from the closet and I was prepared to use it as a tourniquet – But I was not bleeding out and my foot was still near, attached by the tendons and skin on the left side of my ankle. I reasoned that I needed to try and set it, but when I reached down, I realized that my back was broken as well. I looked around and could see that I was in my neighbor’s pasture – a considerable distance from where I started this nightmare ride. Both homes on our property took off like kites and were literally shredded; trees were uprooted and it looked as if a bomb had gone off. This brings me to the situation I found myself in mentioned at the outset of this story.

I begged God to take me if it meant the others could survive, but I reasonably knew that God wasn’t responsible for this tragedy, nor was bargaining a possibility. I just couldn’t be the only one… I screamed for the others, but got no response. I couldn’t get up to look for them and I have never felt more alone in my entire life.

Then, I heard a voice and saw in a pile of debris a figure where there had previously been none, sitting up and covered with blood. He was about 100 feet away from me and I quickly realized it was my husband. He had lost his glasses and couldn’t see me, and we had to yell to hear each other. I could see he was very badly injured and I asked him not to move. We were both yelling out for the rest of our family, but were never answered.

Our neighbor's (the one whose pasture I landed in) safe room was about all that was left standing on his property, and I could see him finally emerge from about 900 feet away. I screamed for him and was waving my arms in hopes that he would see me. He did see me and I could tell from his body language that he was incredulous. He had lost everything, his home, his barns, his horse and equipment… and now he was running to help his neighbors who had unbelievably landed in his pasture. He was a great comfort and a hero to us as he never left our side; he used his cell phone to call for a helicopter, but the damage was so widespread that all aircraft was occupied elsewhere. We asked him to please find the others, but they were not able to be found in the vicinity. Adrenaline wore off and the pain was intense, I started to fear that we may not be rescued in time.

My husband was no longer sitting up and I couldn’t see him, but I’d yell for him every few minutes and he’d hold up a stick to let me know he was still with me. After what seemed an hour, rescue workers finally arrived, but they were unable to get their vehicles past the downed trees and power lines… we had to wait longer for a four wheel drive vehicle. A pick-up truck from a local volunteer fire rescue finally made it back to us and the volunteers were frantically trying to figure out how to move us - I pointed to a bedroom door lying nearby and they put my husband on it to carry him out. Three men then lifted me, two on each side and the third to hold my leg and foot. We were put side by side in the bed of the truck and a young volunteer, Jesse, rode in the back with us. Poor Jesse had the sad task of holding my leg in one hand and my foot in his other; he couldn’t even brace himself on the horribly bumpy ride over extremely rough terrain other than to squat over me and at the same time, trying not to injure me further. I am sure Jesse’s efforts saved my foot. The two mile ride in the back of that truck was the most unbearably painful situation I have ever endured. My husband held my hand and prayed aloud for us.

When we made it to the highway and the waiting ambulance, there were many media crews… I heard one reporter talking and he said, “Oh… I have to stop now” when we were wheeled by – we must have indeed been a fearsome sight. The ambulance, hospital emergency and surgical staff was all very kind and compassionate. The surgeon assigned to my case explained that a very significant amount of time had passed with no blood flow to my foot, and that he would do everything possible to try and restore that flow in hopes of reattaching my foot, otherwise I needed to be prepared to accept that it may be lost.

After my surgery I awoke to see my son who had the devastating duty of informing me of the death of his uncles and grandparents. I guess I knew that to be the inevitability but I didn’t want to give up the hope that they may have somehow survived as well. We were thrown about 200 yards, the others were found much further away.

AFTER THE STORM

As I had lost my own mother about a year earlier, I didn’t even have her to come and comfort me in the hospital. But I did have the next best thing… my aunt came from Florida, braving her extreme fear of flying, and stayed by my side. She also provided much needed aid, including replacing clothes that we literally lost off our backs. We were still in the hospital and too severely injured to attend the memorial service or the burial. Over 500 people came to the service and the city donated their Memorial Hall to accommodate everyone - we have pictures, a DVD and were able to listen in via phone, with my aunt there to provide us with love and comfort during a very dark time.

The tornado was a documented EF4 in strength and was about a half to full mile wide, considered a violent tornado, devastating. This storm was a federally declared disaster, #1760. A new, all-brick home just to the east of our neighbor was completely leveled, as were many homes on our road. My husband and I have compared notes of our experience (as we were in different parts of the house) but we both knew at the time that with every hit we were taking, it was just a matter of time before the death blow came. Winds were about 200 miles an hour and it was like being in a blender of lumber, concrete blocks, metal frame and other debris. I have found in my research some sobering statistics from a meteorological expert:

“If there are 1000 tornadoes in the U.S. every year, then about 690 of them are weak, 300 of them are strong, and perhaps 10 of them are violent.

In a violent tornado, less than 10% of the path experiences the strongest wind speeds, capable of doing the damage that results in the violent rating. Anything less than violent wind speeds will leave interior walls standing in a reasonably well-constructed frame home, making the home a reasonably safe place to be except when struck by the peak winds in a violent tornado.

Even in the most tornado-prone parts of the U.S., the chance of a particular square mile of land being struck by a tornado of any intensity is about once in 1000 years (according to current tornado occurrence data). Being struck by a violent tornado takes roughly 100 times that long.

If your county is under a tornado warning, and a violent tornado strikes somewhere in the county, the chances of your being anywhere within the damage path are about 5 divided by 500, or 1% (more or less, depending on the county size). The chances of your actually experiencing the violent wind speeds in such a tornado are about 0.01% or less, even given that a violent tornado actually strikes your county.

…those who experience the violent winds in a violent event (only a small fraction of the total area affected) have little or no guarantee of survival above ground.”

– C.A. Doswell III, OU/NOAA/National Severe Storms Laboratory/AMS

Whenever anyone in the hospitals and so forth would say that we were "spared for a reason" or "blessed" we would politely let them know that we believe as Ecclesiastes 9:11 says that "time and unforeseen occurrence” befalls us all... we know we were not singled out for survival, just as the others were not singled out for devastation.

We both sustained multiple fractures and broken backs, but he had several vertebrae crushed. He had a broken leg, arm and many lacerations - two on his head requiring staples. He's had two surgeries on his arm to reconstruct and metal plate attached, and two surgeries on his back - the second of each to replace failed hardware from the first time around. This second back surgery we had done in Florida where we are now living, and all of the new metal seems to be staying put. He's lost two inches on his height that he will not regain due to the permanent damage to his spine; thankfully he was not paralyzed. My ankle, compressed vertebrae and herniated discs are a constant source of pain, but I am in good shape compared to my husband. My left foot was successfully reattached... which was to the amazement of all of the doctors involved. I have metal as well, but am walking (albeit very painfully) and grateful for every day.

Friends from our congregation worked tirelessly to try and salvage what remnants of our possessions might be recoverable; there were some clothing items and a few pictures… some photos were even found near Springfield, MO about 70 miles away. The friends continued to be there for us and take care of us for months following the storm. We can never adequately express our overwhelming love and appreciation to all who were a support to us at that time.

We are permanently altered physically and emotionally, but are very grateful to be alive. The storm destroyed everything we had... our health, the houses, the trees, all of our belongings, the majority of our pets etc. Somehow, our little dog Chief survived, he was found three days later hiding in one of the overturned vehicles.

The pain of the loss of the others, our family, is much harder to endure. There is not a day that passes that we don’t think of them and miss them dearly. There are some days that the depression and grief seems all consuming, a claustrophobic feeling. The family left behind has been devastated and certainly, nothing is the same for any of us. Our faith is what has kept us going... the Bible's promises and the hope it provides keeps us looking forward to a brighter future. Through all of our trials, medical complications and future uncertainties, things have worked out for us and we recognize the blessings received despite all of the tragedy.

Updated Entry: May 2009

One year anniversary of the storm and a memorial is erected in honor of those lost:

Updated Entry: September 25th, 2009:

Our little Chief was diagnosed with stomach cancer in August of this year. This is an incredibly rare form of cancer, and less that 1% of all dogs are stricken with this terrible killer. Chief was only five years old. Today, I’ve written the following tribute:

His always too long, red curls and one look from his almond shaped eyes will melt your heart and bring a smile to your face. He loves unconditionally and we can only hope, in our imperfect state, that we returned that love. He can communicate with just a look or special mannerism, and makes you feel like the most important being in the world. His affection and excitement is unparalleled when you return to him, after even the briefest of moments apart. His intelligence and ability to charm is captivating, and we miss seeing him trick Artie out of any toy or bone. He will spin for a treat or jump 6 ft through the air to you just to hear “good boy!” We miss seeing him drag his “girlfriend” around and the happiness that it brings him. He survived the unsurvivable with us, only to be afflicted with the rarest and most terrible of diseases; but he still loves and trusts, and is the perfect example of loyal. Every day with him since May 10th, 2008 has been a bonus. We are now temporarily blinded by sorrow and tears, and his loss only reminds us of all that has already been lost. But the happiness and laughter and joy that he brought us will forever shine and reign in our hearts. Today we said goodbye to our precious Chief, and now hold fast to the 145th Psalm, vs 16 to bring us comfort. We will miss him dearly.

Updated Entry: February 26th, 2011

We have finally been able to open our hearts to a new little love. On this, our 12th wedding anniversary, we have taken in a most precious and unique creature - a beautiful 12 week old ginger colored sphynx cat that we named Milo (short for Milagro). He has helped heal a void in our hearts and has been instrumental in restoring love, laughter and joy to our life.

Updated Entry: August 2013

The ongoing pain and degeneration of our various physical conditions continue to be a daily challenge. In the course of recent years, we have been struggling with added herniated discs in our spines, osteoarthritis, I’ve received a diagnosis of sacroiliitis and bursitis. We undergo frequent outpatient procedures to bring a measure of relief, however pain management is a constant struggle. The emotional battles with severe depression and PTSD are another constant. This month saw Daniel receive the diagnosis of avascular necrosis in both hips, requiring an immediate need for an invasive surgery to completely replace his right hip. His left hip will eventually require the same, however we try to stay optimistic and take each bridge as they arrive.

Updated Entry: June 2014

Returning to the midwest and visiting the grave sites; it's extremely difficult to return there - the memories of what once was, but now forever lost, is incredibly overwhelming.

Updated Entry: December 21, 2014

Twice as nice! We’ve adopted another ginger girl who was in rescue due to some serious health issues. Piper is now happy and healthy, and a very loved & welcomed addition to our little family. She is another salve to our souls. These little monkeys are always a welcome distraction and make our hearts smile.

Updated Entry: April 2017

Recent MRI and CT scan of Daniel reveal more damage; disc herniations from C3 to C7. Severe stenosis in this region as well. The pressure is so close to the spinal cord, that any sudden injury, stumble, twist etc could cause paralysis.

Left hip is now also starting to exhibit symptoms of previously diagnosed AVN - that surgery will be an inevitability, but forestalling for now.

Staying positive and grateful for existing mobility. Still thankful for bonus days!

Updated Entry: March 2019

The inevitability finally caught up with us. On February 13th, Daniel had his second total hip replacement. He now has a matching set. Our 20th wedding anniversary was on the 26th, and that is the day he had his staples removed. We have now officially dubbed our 20th the “titanium anniversary”. I received the best gift possible when he came through that surgery healthy and strong!

We can now focus on the damage in his cervical spine.

One bonus day at a time.

#tornadosurvivors #ef4survivors

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