#Trigun Ultimate 2.4

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Ultimate 2 (Part 4)

Will this volume ever end? Why do I have so much to say?

OOOOooOOooooh, it is woowootime. Nyehehehehehehe *continues to say even more about its favourite character!*

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

Chapter 6: A gathering of demons

Oh, I love how nightow portrays the vastness of the desert. How much is an ile? How big is this planet? Is it earthlike? With no oceans and all... are the cities splayed out? I am European and live in a big city conglomerate. In two hours, I can switch countries and visit like 20 different cities. This picture reminds me of the "Wild West". I remember American friends being shocked at how connected everything is and how we Europeans see distance. For them a 4-12 hour drive is totally normal and you are still in the same state. I can only imagine that No-Man's-Land is even worse than that.

But what does that entail? Is travel between cities something regular or something you only do if you try and get work or flee from something? There is the big trade between the cities, but those have to be the outliers. Sandstreamers being something like trains. I imagine that they are mostly used for commerce, then. Transporting people has to be a lesser side hustle.

But how long does the journey with a bus between the cities take? I'd say days with the thoughts I just had.

I leave the Wolfwood introduction panel out, because of the limitations for pictures, but damn, it is good. It also took me too long to realise that this was not fabricated, but that Wolfwood literally had a bike mishap. His whole interaction with Vash reads differently for me when I take this into consideration.

Three things. 1. what I like about Wolfwood’s design is that if you don’t take the tit window and the facial scruff into consideration, he is dressed like a typical Japanese salary man! A nobody, one of many. Black short hair with suit, he could be a 0815 background character/random casualty in nearly any anime/manga. But here, he falls out of the line. All in black in the desert heat, that is suicide! He is not dressed like the others in typical western clothes. He’s an outlier from the start but at the same time a very usual sight for us readers!

2. I love how silly and welcoming he is. He is just a very charming random dude. We next to never see him interact with random people after this, so we miss this side of him in the later volumes. But he easily fits in and connects, even as a weird outlier. He is an idiot, but an idiot with street smarts.

3. Maybe because I am not a native English speaker, but I stumbled more than once over the word “tradesman” as a colloquial term for assassin. Kinda a roundabout way to say, hey, if you’re interested in me, I may provide you with more information and maybe I have the kind of skill you’re looking for. Tradesman basically means person with a specific skill, so not elaborating on that, but letting people mock him always reads for me as Wolfwood playing with being caught/putting his “profession” down/offering work. That he has a good eye is shown on the next page with him immediately realising who Vash is (at least he know the bounty pics and knows how to look. Wolfwood is not faceblind!)

Without the context of Milly being especially perceptive, this always read for me as Vash being absolutely annoyed by Wolfwood and being distrusting, when in reality he seems to be already warming up to him. Like with us readers, Wolfwood has wormed himself into his heart already. Who could deny Wolfy?

“‘Bout time I left, anyway.” Rings differently when you know him more. Wolfwood is a person that has his foot already out of the door to be not a burden to anyone nice. And we learn that in his introduction.

Wolfwood looks so damn fucking young there. I always have big problems in discerning ages in Manga. But even with his scruff, Wolfwood looks barely out of his teens.

When I think about the different WooWoo-versions, I always deck '98 as the oldest in his mid to end thirties, Ultimate barely 20, Trimax 30 max and Stampede... Sorry, StampWolfwood, you are still in your teens for me. You are baby.

I always remembered Wolfwood as a liar by omission, but damn, he is doing everything but spelling stuff out.  “Not exactly just that…” Damn, and he looks so pained. Vash surely zoomed in on it. I now believe, the only reason why we know stuff so late about Wolfwood is because Vash never asked or tried to pin Wolfwood down.

The following pages is Wolfwood sharing his money with the orphans and I love it. We get to know Wolfwood as a very perceptive, benevolent and honest guy, who seems to be desperately begging for people to see him, to ask more about him. As much as he is funny, we also see someone who sees himself as a burden and who is burdened by a big responsibility and who still shares and gives as much as he can. No wonder Vash smiled with such earnesty. Wolfwood is the personification of what makes him still have hope in humanity.

Chapter 7: The demon’s eye

You know him just for this little bus drive and you already trust him with that info, Vash. Wolfwood is part of the team now, wether they realised it or not. Like I said in the chapter before, the journey must take longer, so they may have had a few days to bond.

He knows what happened. We learn in the next chapter why Wolfwood is there. It is easy to put two and two together for him.

Or regrets that they have to part ways and Wolfwood has to go back to being the Punisher. He had a short dance with Lady Death and then a little vacation where he could be human.

As much as we learn that Wolfwood hates his predicament, it is his duty. There is a reason why he does what he does.

It is kinda sad that Wolfwood left immediately. Nightow, most likely, had other stuff planned, but the cancellation of the magazine kinda threw a wrench into it. I kinda like how '98 did it with Vash and Wolfwood having their own little adventure on the journey.

Funny observation. People are there, because there is gunshots. Not children’s laughs or anything, it is gunshots that show that people are there. What a shitty world they live in.

08: The fifth moon

Did Legato control the corpses? Or did he “take in” the survivors and used experiments on them? Nicholas knows his bounties. Without him, I wouldn't peg them as the Slavers.

First of all, the hint/info that Vash and Knifes are both not human. A man between a rock and a hard place. A well-prepared dead man, but a dead man either way.

Since we as a reader already have a bond with Wolfwood, he is our point of reference for a "normal" human reaction to the shit that goes down. Nightow regularly flashes back to Wolfwood's reaction to it all. Either so we don't forget that he is part of the EVUL or to bring down that point how fucked up Knives is (especially with the SA-symbolism). People with uteri will agree either way that the scene with the sister being that pregnant and Knives bursting out is… massive body horror.

At least both legs and one arm are smashed, pelvis most likely, too, his head is squished into his torso, neck broken? and I have no idea how else he is crumbled up. Paper doll Legato

Vash didn’t only shoot himself to regain control. He shot Knives, too! He shot Knives to get free, but it was already too late.

While someone else (I am sorry, I am bad with names D; If I find you again, I will link your post) has put it brilliantly how Knives taking control over Vash can be read as assault, there is something else I’d like to point out.

Knives is the only person in the whole story who has been able to take control from Vash. We have seen him fight so many people, like Neon, Monev and others, but Vash never was not in control. He put rules upon himself that constricted him, e.g. the pacifism, but those constrictions were by his own decision. Vash takes into consideration that he may die, but it is by his own free will and as we have seen, he is a bit suicidal. Likewike, Vash gives people all the agency, all his agency. He mostly reacts to their decisions towards him. Knives is the only person in the whole world who is able to take away Vash’s agency and he uses that power over him. Not going into powerscaling or such a thing, but it shows what a powerful player Knives is.

Again, Wolfwood is our focus point for human reaction. Dude is scared out of his mind and mixing both brothers. Messengers of God coming to cast down judgement on us? That would be Knives, not Vash. But he demands an answer from Vash, with whom he already formed a connection. Wolfwood may feel even somewhat betrayed, as hypocritical as that is.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 10.4

It is time…

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

07: Wolfwood

Farewell, my friend. 

Fitting, that we do not see Wolfwood here, but little Nicholas. Because in the end even though he was aged up and tortured, this child remained in him. This is his true self. The lost little boy that felt himself as a burden to all and that shouldered the responsibility of the wellbeing of the place he loved most. The lost little boy that cared too much in a world that cares too little. The morals of this little kid made Wolfwood the man he is today, through all the torture and everything, they persevered. This is the best of humanity.

Wolfwood has been an awkward idiot even in childhood. He cannot deal with open affection and becomes shy. It is sad and cute at the same time.

Is that a young Chapel? How much did he age in those six years? Damn!

The tricks the cult used to get children. It was a trap and it got Wolfwood. He left to become a tradesman… And a tradesman he did become, just not the kind of tradesman everyone imagined. Wolfwood was a great brother to many and they loved him.

Even if confetti is selfmade, we know they didn't have much ressources there. It surely was not cheap to produce it, even if it was selfmade.

How old does Wolfwood look there, maybe 10? Maybe even younger. The timeline is really not something we should look to close up. Nightow went by vibes, that’s all we need to know.

Like I said so often, the orphanage is Wolfwood’s paradise. The place where he was fed, could sleep and felt safe. He didn’t require anything more and that says much about his living situation beforehand. Much like Rem for Vash, it is an ideal for Wolfwood, a perfect place, something that has to be protected from the reality of the world. This ideal has been his saving grace. It made him survive not only Chapel and the torture, but it gave him reason to go on when his guilt became too much. If Wolfwood is truly devoted to something, it is this.

Wolfwood’s sorrowful eyes… He looks younger here. And softer. The softest Wolfwood we have ever seen. Close behind the Wolfwood that let down his guard the night before he brought Vash to the ark and they relaxed a last time together.

Even after all he did and all he accomplished, Wolfwood feels undeserving for any forgiveness or any welcome. If Chapel has achieved anything then it is that Wolfwood truly has no self love. Wolfwood was hypercritical with himself before the cult got his clutches around him, but I have no doubt that the things he went through have worsened his self worth massively.

He wants to be kept in memory as the innocent, but responsible, big brother Nico and not the bloodied gunman he has become. He wants to keep their innocence and the illusion that somewhere their beloved big brother is still out there. He wants to protect them one last time, this time from the grief that comes with his death.

But, Wolfwood is a complex character. If the kiddos knew, would they really go away that easily? Wouldn’t they try to make him come with them? Being either forced to watch Wolfwood die on the way to Home or having to see Wolfwood breaking down, because he cannot keep up the masquerade anymore. He cannot be vulnerable, especially not in his last moments.

I wish we would get more info, does Wolfwood chose to stay because he knows he would not get to the main ship for help/he knows that his body breaking apart is not treatable or has he ‘just’ given up. I think it is the first, I just wish for some hard facts. But neither of the two lovely calamities left are really able to talk directly about the elephant in the room. Vash is so desperate.

By not addressing that Wolfwood is actively dying, by trying to push Wolfwood to leave with the others, they both avoid one thing… The helplessness. This is Wolfwood’s choice, so it is okay, so it is bearable.

There is one really big headcannon that I have for the case that either Wolfwood decided to stay there even though there may have been a possibility to save Wolfwood or that Vash may have been able to heal Wolfwood with or without a cost of his lifespan, but Wolfwood denied either of it. And it boils down back to agency. Vash is so much about having none/giving others the full agency, that he cannot force Wolfwood to do something he either doesn’t have the energy to or doesn’t want to due to the cost. Not only is that one of Vash’ biggest modus operandi, reacting instead of acting, but here it is something more. It is about Wolfwood’s agency. By now it is absolutely clear that the only true choice Wolfwood had in his life was to die for the things he loved or lose himself. Vash cannot rob Wolfwood of his agency. Not when he finally regained some in his last moments. (That said, I do not judge any peeps who use Vash overriding Wolfwood’s wants and healing him or bringing him to safety. One of my most favourite breaks-my-heart-art piece is the one where Wolfwood awakes with golden hair on the couch, because Vash has given him all his life. And Vash sits lifeless next to him. I have so many feels about that one.(by popular request a link to the pic, damn had I dive deep into my bookmarks))

Neither of them really talk to each other. But from what they know of each other, it says more than words. Wolfwood, stressing that he is a gun-ho-gun, a killer, an assassin and a traitor to Vash, even seemingly proving it with the coins, Wolfwood wants to keep Vash from grieving. Vash does not need to grieve for Wolfwood. Wolfwood is a shitty person. There is no last-minute discussion to be made about it. Vash accepts the plea behind it. He disagrees with Wolfwood. But he helps Wolfwood to keep the illusion up that they aren’t that close, that Wolfwood doesn’t need to feel sorrow for leaving Vash, because their connection is not real. They both comfort each other by not talking about it.

Personally, I am so sad, that even in his death, Wolfwood is all about others, about lessening the pain that comes with it, that he cannot be vulnerable and just grieve his future. I am sad for Vash, too, but Vash will live on, for the better and worse.

That’s… Wolfwood had no goals for himself. He has always been the protector. He never imagined a future beyond that. He had his purpose and that has been fulfilled. Not completely, since Knives is still there, but he has done all he could. He has done what a human could do. And I understand that Wolfwood cannot regret his decision. It is too intrinsically intertwined with his identity and self-perception.

And again, Wolfwood cannot bear vulnerability. Neither can Vash. Which ends in this silly exchange. But, truly, if Vash didn’t react that way, I believe both would have broken down.

The last time? The last time was when Vash got drunk in the bar with the two outsiders and Wolfwood was persuaded by the nice granny to let his guard down and drink a glass, too. It was the talk where One-Eye stressed that “you’ll always end up alone and be alone.” Damn…

Birbs. Nicholas can finally enjoy his freedom. For a moment at least. For a moment he is free like a bird. The struggle is over. He is already dead. There is nothing to fight for him anymore.

It confused me. This sentence at the moment. Two possible interpretations for me: 1. Wolfwood still tries to fake more distance between them to make it hurt less and/or 2. Wolfwood truly wishes for a future for Vash in which he can smile with a full heart.

But even Wolfwood cannot hold the soft feelings in. Not all of Vash’ smiles were empty. Many smiles that Wolfwood saw and/or caused were real ones. I read this as Wolfwood trying to tell Vash that he knows that he was someone important to Vash. And now Vash cannot bear it. Because he is about to lose Wolfwood forever. 

(What ruins the mood a bit for me is that I cannot not laugh at the funky pose of Wolfwood. He really was like: I am a twister!)

This is the first time I saw Brad in the background. He must think they are all crazy! He doesn’t know.

Wolfwood always had a home. They love him. They accept him as he is. They know that the bloodied man is their beloved big brother. Wolfwood can pass with the knowledge that he is accepted into paradise with bloodied hands and all.

Wolfwood cries. The man that so stoically had been in control of himself, that has been so incredibly avoidant of even an ounce of vulnerability, cries openly. Most likely for the first time in years. We have never seen him cry in the manga, we have seen him in shock, in despair, we have seen him shout out in pain, but he never cried.

And with that realisation… I cannot say how to interpret this scene. Comes the realisation of this love with a wave of grief because he cannot be with them, that he has no future to enjoy together, that he loves them and cannot tell them? Is it a last surge against the inevitable? A cry for mercy to the absent God? Does he wish to stay with Vash and his family?

And his bell tolls. Wolfwood has died.

I do not believe that Wolfwood would regret his choice. He fulfilled his life goal. He may regret leaving Vash, he may regret not having had a future or more time. But the one thing he can be sure of is that Vash will take over his burden and fight for their future. They are not defenseless. He can rest. For me, the smile does not mean he died happy or without any regrets. But he died not alone. And that is enough for him.

And Vash stays, again. Vash avoided any real connection to humans. Even those he called his family always felt artificial for me. Wolfwood was the first human since Rem that got under Vash' walls and got into his heart. And I truly believe that other than with Rem, with Wolfwood Vash sometimes wasn't aware of the for Vash so obvious difference between plants and humans.

Wolfwood’s death… My feelings are divided and are all over the place. It is handled with such care and the consequences of his death are felt so deeply through the narrative, to which I say more in a later volume. He wasn’t alone, he was with his best friend. He didn’t die in a fight, but out of it at a place he could choose. And even better, he got a very clear message that his family loves him, even if he cannot do it himself. It is one of the most peaceful deaths imaginable for this pained soul.

But at the same time, it is so unfair! Wolfwood sacrificed his whole life for the safety of innocents, he bloodied his hands again and again and endured so much and all he got was a death that wasn’t the worst. He got the knowledge that he is welcome home. He gets the knowledge that his loved ones are safe for now and that his friend will try his best to keep it that way. But he never gets to experience it truly. He never gets to enjoy the fruits of his labour. He didn’t want much. He didn’t even really dream of anything. But if he could have a place to rest, to eat and to be safe, he wouldn’t want more. 

I think part of my reaction stems from me being from an individualistic society. We learn that you put the work in and receive your reward, that selfless behaviour gains you a reward. Look no further than the fairy tales that are used to teach Europeans like me morals, The Star Money is one that fits this idea. But Wolfwood as a person did not get a personal, selfish reward. He got death. And that makes it so painful. His death wasn’t for nothing, but his life feels so cut short. He just started the path of forgiving himself. He just realised that he wasn’t alone anymore. His development was not at an end. But what Nightow wanted to say with him in the story was. The difference between the narrative and the character. And that is upsetting, while still being completely okay.

Taking in consideration that Nightow comes from a collectivist society, I feel that the outcome that Wolfwood was able to save his home, his group, even at the cost of his life, is meaningful in a way I may not completely get. Wolfwood will live on, in the actions and life of the people he saved, he will live on in Livio, he will live on in Vash. But I see the abused kid that could not be saved. The abused kid that protected others because he wasn’t protected. That is the tragedy for me. 

Maybe, adding to that, on a personal note, I am a Millennial. The world that was promised to me was built up on lies and is crumbling under the greed of a few people. But media says it is my generation's fault for *looks at today’s paper* eating avocado instead of diamonds. Parents being absent due to work, being alone and self reliant, maybe the oldest kid that has to take care of the siblings instead of the parents, those things were more a normal state than a rare occurrence, when I was young. With the wars, the crash from ‘08 and the shit that came after it, the existential dread is real and the hopelessness, too. I can only try to lessen the impact for the people who come after me and try my best to endure. And Wolfwood’s whole character vibes with my experience. And on this personal note, that the character who cared so much and tried so hard could not be saved… I want hope. I need hope. In this day and age more than ever.

08: Final Parting

What’s more to say? It is final. In spite of all of his powers, Vash was unable to save Wolfwood’s life, even though he was able to protect Wolfwood’s treasure and was a big part of Wolfwood freeing himself out of the cage that Chapel put him in. It’s just so damn tragic that after all he has been through, his freedom lies in the way he was able to part.

The denial, the looming panic and then Vash laying out the facts, short, precisely and with a deadpan face. This scene is just so... It hurts. Wolfwood's death is final. It drives it home.

There is not a small part in Vash that may despise Livio right now. It won’t keep. From Vash’ perspective, Wolfwood entrusted Livio and the whole orphanage to him, the future as a whole, but especially the future of his loved ones. 

Razlo has been a brat, but Livio seems also extremely young. I do not think he ever truly believed Wolfwood would truly die and only now he starts to understand how much Wolfwood sacrificed to get Livio out of Chapel’s claws.

Vash not only protected Wolfwood’s body and Livio’s life, he protected the whole orphanage. Vash protected Wolfwood’s paradise from Knives’ laser.

And by reflecting Knives’ power back to their source, Vash declares war.

How does Knives do it? He is further and further gone the longer the story goes. 

But not only that, what must that mean to Knives? His brother uses his so important lifeforce to not only spite Knives, he does it for the human Knives has sent out to betray Vash. This human has been somehow able to become more important to Vash than not only his life, but also his brother. A massive middle finger right in his face. And the worst part of it, Wolfwood is already dead. He cannot even take revenge upon him. Remember the two-face panel of Knives when he cause the fall? He drew blood with his thumbs over the left side of his face, the first panel here resembles this from the pose. Kinda as if Knives does his last step to complete and utter madness.

We know that Wolfwood came from a place of scarcity. Food is his love language or one of them. So it's fitting that both of the boys have memories with Wolfwood regarding this. Not only that, the memories shown are either the first meeting or the start of their journey together. Vash makes the food that Rem has made him and food that reminds him of Wolfwood. 

I learned that food can be an important part of grief. You need to keep yourself fed and grief can be easily so overpowering that you cannot do it. But they must keep going on. So they eat.

The fucking third vial! You were a red herring for Wolfwood’s survival, a false counter. I despise you!

And this is a peace offering from Vash. I still believe that Vash is incredibly angry, but he understands why Livio was in that place. Remember Wolfwood, remember the man that was everything to me and that gave everything for you.

Wolfwood’s burden made him the man he was. It is just a fact.

And now it is Vash' burden. Vash takes over for Wolfwood and keeps going where Wolfwood couldn't. What a sad situation. When the only thing that binds you to your lost friend is the burden that he carried and that killed him in the end.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 10.5

Afterthoughts I had. About Vash, Wolfwood and human connections, point of views and how it affects me as a reader. Mostly babble.

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

Wolfwood has been our point of reference for some time. While the story is about Vash and his struggles, it is Wolfwood's (and Meryl's) reactions that make us not only understand how out of place Vash' behaviour is, but it is their reaction that makes us want to understand Vash. We share their struggles and not Vash’. While Vash is the protagonist, without Wolfwood we would have so much less reason to try and empathise with Vash. Wolfwood’s struggle with Vash pulls Vash down from the position of a higher being to someone, whose intentions we can scrutinise and dissect, someone we can see flaws in and we can critisise. Wolfwood's struggle with and around Vash makes Vash at least humanoid, if not human. We do not get much insight into Vash’ thoughts and are pushed away from any real talk like Wolfwood and Meryl are. We are shown the flashbacks and they give us an understanding how Vash’ ideals came to be, they give us a reason. But we are never really in Vash’ shoes. We see him from the outside, how he persists holding up his ideals to his own detriment. And through Wolfwood and Meryl we feel for Vash and are hurt by his self destruction. And we are helpless like them, because Vash does not change. He does not listen, does not even try, because he stubbornly holds onto his ideals without really understanding them.

Especially the struggle of Vash' pacifism (which is none by the meaning of the word) and Wolfwood's seemingly ease in killing is an interesting one. We constantly see Wolfwood struggle with Vash’ behaviour in the story, we see him reflect, we see him argue and give reasons for his own behaviour. We see Wolfwood persist to try and bring this struggle to rest, not only due to his own guilt, but because he wants Vash to take care of himself, he is hurt by Vash getting hurt. (Ironically, it is only at the end, when Wolfwood temporarily seems to take over the protagonist role that we get flashbacks and the foundation of Wolfwood’s reasons and ideals.) But we do not get much back from Vash in that struggle. Vash is not shown in a way that we really understand him. We get the little talk in Home, but not much more. And I understand why that talk leaves Wolfwood frustrated.

Same with what people mean to Vash. We get information like: Vash knows every face and name in Home. But those always read for me as so robotic. That is not a connection to people that Vash has there. Brad is a perfect example for this. Vash recognises Brad, but Brad has a completely different picture of Vash in his mind. Why? Because he has seen him last (and most likely for a short time) when he was 5 and now he is 17 years old. That is a whole lifetime! The older people of Home accept that, they care for Vash, but they surely had a similar struggle like Brad. A want for a connection, a relationship, has been constantly been put at bay and become one akin to a shepherd to his sheeps. And the older people had to come to accept this, that they will not get more, that Vash will always push them away and they can only wait and hope. It is not a relationship between equals.

Moving on with Vash’ relationship to Meryl. Like with Home, he is constantly evading her and fleeing from her. Even her learning about his past does not come with his consent. Not with hers, either, really, but at least she had the want to know more about his past. And worse, after that traumatic experience, he rejects her care for him and that stops any real talk about it, something that would help HER to process things.

Wolfwood did not stay with Vash fully out of his own will in the beginning. He had to join Vash due to Knives. But Wolfwood came to understand Vash deeply. An ironic twist, because Wolfwood came to his understanding of Vash in the same way Vash comes to understanding of others. By observation and drawing his own conclusions. They never really talk about that stuff. They state it and that’s it. It is no real talk or opening up. And that’s for the worse. That way, neither of them gains a complete understanding of the other, just “just enough”. Wolfwood doesn’t know about Rem (he asked), Vash does not know about Wolfwood’s upbringing. And that’s why their first real argument due to Rai-Dei’s death always sticks out to me. Vash gets so much about Wolfwood, he gets the kind soul behind Wolfwood’s cold mannerisms and his ability to kill without hesitation, but he never does the next step in trying to find out why. And I have no doubts that this stalled not only their budding relationship, but also played a big part why Wolfwood did not shed his protector-behaviour towards Vash and asked for help.

Lastly, the change in Vol.10. There is a change in Vash and a massive one. Vash finally realises the importance of Wolfwood in his life and rushes after him. Vash changes from the followed to the follower. And we finally get an insight to what Vash feels towards Wolfwood and that is such a big change in Vash’ presentation towards us readers. From then on we get less and less insights into Wolfwood and are put in Vash’ shoes. We are the observers. We are with Vash. Wolfwood is the one who gets observed. We do not get any insights into Wolfwood's head when he dies. That’s why his scream and tears have so many different interpretations. We only get Vash’ thoughts. They completely switched places. For two volumes, Wolfwood has been our protagonist, but he has been Vash’, too. This experience has changed Vash, towards the world and towards us, too. We are back to not getting real insight into Vash when Livio and he eat. But we know of the change that has happened.

And the burial. We don’t get to see the burial, because even though we share Vash’ pov, that is too private to share.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum Vol. 10 Part 1

I… don’t want to read this again… I can’t. I am still scarred.  You’d think it’d be easier reading this the second time… But instead it got worse. I am bawling preemptively.

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

01: Delusion 

(Me, when I think: Maybe it won’t happen this time)

The frontpage shows Razlo. And yes, he is pretty delusional if he thinks that Chapel needs or wants him at his side. But the chapter starts with the following.

Not from your teachings, that much is clear. Who is the delusional one here? Wolfwood, who stands up against Chapel or Chapel who doesn’t understand why Wolfwood persists?

Wolfwood is a protector, it is the core of his being. He cannot stand down. Not when the thing that he protects is on the line, especially against an abuser like Chapel. But, as a consequence, Wolfwood’s life seems more and more negligible against his want to protect.

The sentence that is so important but is so judgemental, too. While Vash saw who Wolfwood is behind the mask from the beginning, he was also still too wrapped up to truly understand how and why Wolfwood acts the way he does. This is an echo of Rem, not really understood. Her ideals live on in Vash, even though he twisted them so much.

But now, since shit has hit the fan, Wolfwood only can hope. There is nothing else left.

Wolfwood cannot change the outcome of the whole world, but he can change this outcome. He has already laid his hope for the future in Vash’ hands. That’s why he freed him from the ark. That’s why he endured months on the ark, while being forced to commit mass murder. Wolfwood still has no hope for himself, there exists no future for Wolfwood in his mind, it never did, but he believes in Vash and he believes that there is A future. It is still sad, but it shows how far Wolfwood has grown. (Wolfwood is such a Millennial, before Millennials were even a real thing. But it kinda fits, since Nightow lived through the Lost Decades that started like 5 years before Trigun started to run)

Wolfwood does not believe in the world, in the good of man or anything. He believes in his friend. He trusts in Vash. He openly says that he doesn’t know if Vash would win against Knives. He just hopes. Through all of the developments that Wolfwood went through, this is one of the biggest. Wolfwood who has learned by experience that there is no reason for hope, that things will always go to shit, has nothing left to give, only hope.

Like he hasn’t forsaken Wolfwood… But this was never about Vash forsaking Wolfwood. Wolfwood chose to leave Vash to not be a burden to him. Wolfwood will get a stark reminder, soon, how much he erred in his importance to Vash.

Through all of this, Wolfwood still does not see himself as redeemable. Or as someone not worth any kind of grace. Having been so intensely self reliant and independent, he just can’t. His feelings go against his knowledge and in the end, a human is a being that goes by its emotion, not its logic. How do you go against such mindset, when you do not have the opportunity or skills to recognise it?

I think that is the delusion in question. A.) It does matter, B.) Vash will be there soon and C.) Wolfwood did not have to do it.

There may even be some hope in Wolfwood that Vash has followed him, since he didn’t take the deadly dose of the vials yet, but I am not sure about that one. Many ways to interpret that.

Razlo is shown as someone incredibly unlikeable here. He enjoys torturing Wolfwood. He is monstrous. We know behind that lies the reason why Razlo exists, being the one who attacks so no one can hurt Livio. But he is more than just that, he is a person. I think he enjoys fighting and Wolfwood is one of the first people who didn’t just flatout die on him. A predator that is finally able to stretch his muscles.

I feel a bit cheated. Why focus on that he has three vials, if it is not three more, but two more vials that will kill him? In my first read through, my hope for Wolfwood’s survival was based on this.

This is the reason why I have these two headcannons, that there is 1. Just a finite amount of vials you can take as a whole (five it seems. Wolfwood took one after the ark and one in this fight) and 2. That taking vials back to back amplifies their effect for the better and worse. The vials were a spontaneous edition. While Nightow excels at writing humans, his worldbuilding goes more by vibes. Which (not meant as an insult) sometimes makes things a bit hazy and uncertain. As someone who really likes clear rules, this can be annoying for me personally. Which again, is not meant as an insult, but my personal likes. 

Your Divine Retribution? Hey, everyone! Chapel is God!

For all the conflicting signs of Chapel switching between a weird care for Wolfwood’s survival to him sadistically hurting him for his betrayal to then putting Livio/Razlo down for their skill to then again warning Wolfwood for his life it finally boils down to his true face and his true reasons.

And back to the chapter title “Delusion”. Chapel is the delusional person. He is almighty, he has complete control over his pupils, he is their God, he owns them in body and mind. Wolfwood not only defying him, but nearly killing him, is the reality he cannot accept. The slave has not to rise up against its master. But Wolfwood did. Because Chapel never owned him. Wolfwood's existence is the burning example that Chapel is not someone godlike and that’s why he has to be erased in the worst way possible. So Chapel’s world is right again.

02: Sworn Friend

On my first read, I thought Razlo wanted to save Wolfwood somehow by buying time. But Razlo hasn’t that in himself, that’s something for future Razlo to develop. Razlo wanted to fight with an equal, someone he can rough up without immediately losing him. Maybe he wished for an equal, too, since they are both pupils of Chapel. He may be dependent on Chapel, but I cannot imagine that he gets much emotional bonding time with that old hoot.

Dude, you are seeing the red flags, but are unable to understand them as such. 

Chapel did not take L/R in after Wolfwood left, but before! He is walking here! Chapel taught them as pupils at the same time, but kept them separate (or took Livio in after Wolfwood became his pupil, but still while Wolfwood was in training).

From this I get that Livio/Razlo is kinda ousted from the EoM, since he murdered some of their people. They may have spared his life, but revoked his position. Didn’t Legato mention that there was some kind of infighting going on? But… wait, since Chapel is walking here… That would have been at least 2,8 years ago. So… put a maybe to my assumption. Maybe it is a long ongoing internal war?

Razlo… Nooooooo…Explains why Razlo is so loyal to Chapel. Livio, I am sure, would have broken away sooner, if it wasn’t for Razlo wanting to stay. Razlo wants to be needed above anything else. I think Livio, too. Being needed means security. If they are needed they have a place to stay there. They won’t be thrown away. That’s what it comes back to for Livio and thus Razlo, that is their biggest fear. But that has opened both of them up to the abuse of Chapel. 

Little sidenote, all of this combined, Chapel’s sign of care for his pupil, his theatrical sacrifice and the resulting hold he gained onto Razlo, is so interesting in comparison to how Wolfwood loves Livio. Wolfwood is dying right now in the desperate attempt to free Livio. But it is a gift and not something contractual. Livio/Razlo need continuous security, that they are needed and thus have a place under/with their benefactor. But Wolfwood cannot offer any further security. He can only offer his future. Razlo does not understand that, Livio maybe, but it needs to reach him first. (Also, how ironic, that Wolfwood is able to give so much freely and openly out of love to his peers, but cannot accept any of this for himself.)

They force them out so they can slaughter them before Wolfwood’s eyes. Why am I reminded of war crimes?

I love how ready Miss Melanie is to protect the kids with her live. And the kiddos’ reaction? It totally fits bratty kids. The scene is incredibly heartwarming and sad at the same time. The kids stay with Miss Melanie. Her tears show her desperation/frustration, but I’d like to imagine that she is also touched by this.

Wolfwood’s worst nightmare. He fears that they are afraid of him, that he is truly just a monster. That the one place that took him in and was his paradise is forever closed to him for what he has done to keep them safe.

And for a second, it looks like it is true. At least from his perspective. Miss Melanie recognises him and she pales. But her shock is not because of who Wolfwood has become, but because she realises how much he sacrificed for them. I cannot even imagine the feeling a mother would have seeing her child in such a state, realising that it has been alone the whole time, carrying such a burden without ever coming home to rest.

Chapel is laughing, because he truly believes that Miss Melanie would judge Wolfwood like Wolfwood judges himself. He truly believes that Wolfwood is not loved. Chapel is Wolfwood’s self hatred personified. 

And until Miss Melanie speaks, he truly can revel in his victory. What he couldn’t do himself, the rejection by Wolfwood’s home does it. But she speaks.

She doesn’t judge him, though. As much as I criticise Miss Melanie for the parentification of Wolfwood, I know that she has been way over her head, trying to take care and feed so many poor kids. She hadn’t had the resources to help Wolfwood. But she loved him as one of her own and cared for him as much as she could. Not every abuse or neglect comes from bad people. Sometimes even not from people at all, but from the society these people live in. 

Trauma and neglect are such a big part of this story. But they are all so different. I think it is interesting how the emotional neglect coming from the mother figures Rem and Miss Melanie is both accidental/ due to circumstances (and now that I think about this, both chose motherhood! They did not fall pregnant. They are not blood related, but they stepped up for these kids because there was no one else who would do it.). Rem did not have the abilities to suddenly mother those two aliens and was mentally unwell. Worse, she lived in an unsafe environment for the twins, so she had no one who she could ask for help. Miss Melanie on the other hand has the emotional ability that Rem lacked, but she is so overworked to care for all the kids that Wolfwood slipped through and she could never reach him. But it is also her that made him believe in something good in this world, something worth protecting. But I am babbling again.

Miss Melanie reprimands Wolfwood. But not for his work, but for bottling up his pain, for not relying on his family that loved him. He did all that to protect them, but in the end the very same action ended up hurting them. Because they want to be there for him. And he rejected that and that rejection hurts. As a caretaker it must feel so shitty to know that your warden did not trust you enough to come and ask for help. Especially since Wolfwood endured this pain for them.

Miss Melanie is thankful, too. No wonder that the orphanage is Wolfwood’s paradise. He is loved and welcomed there. What he does for them is seen and appreciated.

But even that does not reach Wolfwood, he cannot give himself the saving grace. Wolfwood cannot see what he does for them, he only sees what he could not do.

Yeah. But you didn’t want to be a burden, did ya? I read a sentence in a comic that goes like this: “I hope you learn one day to be less convenient.” And I wish that for Wolfwood. But since we are at Vol.10, we know it is too late for that.

Aww, didn’t this work up to your expectations? Boohoo, they really do love and accept Wolfwood, how could they? Poor Chapel, who would have thought that there are good people all around? (sarcasm)

But it is also here that Wolfwood throws the rest of his self-preservation away.

Wolfwood truly has made a friend. 

This is for me the moment they truly become equal. Through all of their travels it has been Vash who was the one who decided on where to go, often without telling Wolfwood anything about where and why. (I grew iffy with that and I still am somewhat iffy, because it read as pure avoidance of Knives. Thanks to @/revenantghost I remembered that Vash had reasons to go here and there, getting a new arm etc. but it still comes back to: Vash decided where to go without consulting or even speaking to Wolfwood) Not only that, Vash tried to slip away from Wolfwood, like on Home. Here, the roles are reversed. Vash followed Wolfwood who slipped away. Wolfwood decided what is important to him and followed that. And Wolfwood has become important enough for Vash that Vash is not only not avoiding the connection between them anymore, but he is actively seeking it out. Nightow said a possible love prospect needed to be very patient with Vash. Wolfwood has been patient the whole time. (Kinda, he blew up and grumbled and still followed Vash’ whims.)

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 8 Part 1

Emotional destruction Vol.2. There is more to come!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

How… how has Nightow the style of 80s shoujo manga down to a T? I love it.

I didn’t see this at first, BUT KNIVES IS HOLDING A KNIFE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

01: Invasion

Of course, the Golden Gate-like-Bridge needs to be destroyed to show that the attack has begun. While the ark looks cool and all, it doesn’t really looks like something that can stay in the air. (really, Knives? Tell me how you plan to let the people on the ark live after you do the genocide. Self Absorbed bastard. This is your ark, for you alone.)

Yes, take even more agency from him.

Having his whole body weight on one point, the connector must hurt so much right now. I am sure it feels like it gets slowly torn out.

Legato could make a fortune by being a sport instructor. Just make me move! I pay you!

I wanna slap him so badly. Seriously. THANKS TO VASH?! He is running around trying to help them as much as he can!

KNIVES! YOU ARE THE REASON THAT YOUR SISTERS ARE ON THIS PLANET AT ALL! TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT YOUR SIN OF ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THE SISTERS THAT WERE ON THE 802 SHIPS. YOU DID NOT KNOW THAT YOUR FUCKING HAIR TURNS DARK WHEN YOU START TO DECAY! THE FIRST LAST RUN YOU SAW WAS LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO! TELL ME HOW MANY SISTERS YOU HAVE SEEN DIE, AGAIN?! You had 150 years to learn about this! 150 years and you failed to do so. Your sisters and their wellbeing aren’t that important to you, buddy. Don’t use them to give yourself validity. And don’t you dare to use Tesla again!

FUCKING FINALLY! I NEED SOMETHING MORE THAN CAPSLOCK TO MAKE MY RAGE ABOUT KNIVES’ DENIAL KNOWN!

Oh, tsundere Legato time. And Knives does not stop him. Does Knives truly not understand that Legato is starting to act not only on his own but against Knives’ stated interests?

At first I thought this was a moment of peace for Wolfwood that boils down to him finding his determination. But in hindsight, this is him knowing he is starting to get crushed between the rock and the hard place. He is waiting to act, he cannot act, even though most gruesome things are happening all around him and he is part of it. (Insert the: "Kitten, I'll be honest. Daddy is about to kill himself"-meme)

Who else thought about Carl? “That’s what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.” Knives, that kills people!

*snorts* Yeah, because you have had such a presence in the story til now. Tell me again, how lawful the world is. I'll wait. Yeah, at the bar of that nice granny with the guy that was nearly lynched with his truly innocent bestie.

I forgot about that. I forgot that Wolfwood is used to kill in the cities. I made a pained squeaky noise when I saw them. Someone shut Chapel up and hug Wolfwood!

Wolfwood’s past pulls him down. His training and way of life goes so strongly against his morals. And Chapel knows exactly how to use it to hurt Wolfwood.

But Wolfwood has already changed so much during the story. From the start, while he put his own life first, he never killed with any animosity, the didn't torture people. By following Vash’ (pretty selfdestructive) ruling, he found a way of going forward that fits his morals so much more. He cares about life and especially the lives of others. His responsibilities still stand, that’s why he is still able to kill, but this Wolfwood here is very far from the pupil Chapel had true power over.

Can someone shut this bitch up, please?

Chapel is a manipulator. He knows his “pupils” and knows how to put them down. He doesn’t plan to take Wolfwood in again. He just wants to hurt him. He wants revenge for Wolfwood acting out, for Wolfwood deserting the Eye of Michael's teachings. But this is a struggle for power over Wolfwood, too. Livio is a much better pupil in his eyes, since Chapel seemingly erased his character and wants successfully.

The antithesis of the blank ticket. Your past binds you down. You cannot start anew. Just give in and accept your given place in the world. It is Wolfwood's way of thinking, too. No wonder he hurts so much. Chapel’s teachings dug deep into him.

Wolfwood realises how deeply Chapel has dug his claws into Livio. That’s why he tries to force Chapel to make Livio stop and not Livio himself. But he has no power in this situation here. Chapel has the power since he has power over Livio. And, damn, he uses it to hurt Wolfwood in revenge. Wolfwood is desperately looking for a way out, but he cannot find one.

His sisters want him to stop, too. Not that he listens.

Vash is still hateful of himself for attacking Rem. He never stopped. Even working through his anger at Rem... The anger was replaced with selfhatred and ever since then he has been spiraling.

But the thought about people not changing… They talk about humanity, but isn’t it about Knives, too? I highly doubt that Knives can change. Everyone is able to, but not everyone chooses to do so. Knives cannot reflect upon what he has done, because then he himself and humanity wouldn’t be that different. Both twins are so good in seeing things just as black and white. Damn all of humanity or all of humanity is good, instead of what it truly is, grey. 

OF COURSE HE SAID TESLA! This is so much not about Tesla. Poor girl is just a pawn for Knives, like everyone else. He was such a sensitive kid and now he cannot even realise his own true feelings, much less recognise feelings in other people. He is living a delusion.

It makes Knives an interesting villain, though. I like villains that you can somewhat empathise with. Every last one of us can end like him (without the outright genocide). He is a warning and he is not redeemable, however much I feel for him.

Edit: Upon rereading my last paragraph can be so misinterpreted. What I meant with 'without the outright genocide' was not that neither of us can be easily radicalised and be part of a genocide by either inaction, outright ignoring it or even be an active part of it. My country's history is a glowing negative example of it. I literally meant that we cannot be a fucking warship.

Ugh, yes, Vash is completely right. 

But look at you, Vash. You are a bottle under so much pressure, too. You drinking away your pain does not erase it. You know the source, but you never started to deal with it at all. Why does the stuff you preach never reach you yourself?

But Knives turns away from Vash, again and again. Knives cannot open himself up to Vash. Anger and hate are feelings that are so much better than the vulnerable hurt and fear. Seriously, Vash, how long til it is enough?

“Then we will be even.” No, not really. The people who have hurt Knives are gone. There is no balance to be redone. Knives’ “even” means that the scales are completely destroyed and only he remains. Knives pumps out new victims of violence daily, the only words that are spoken are “Hate creates more hate, violence creates more violence.” Knives has been gone up in his crusade since the Great Fall. Everything after that was him actively searching for and creating more and more reasons to justify him causing the Great Fall and more importantly, killing Rem.

02: Silent Ruin

I shall save our imprisoned sisters! By imprisoning them in MY BODY! A much better idea! Knives does not care about them. Everyone has to agree with him. There is no group, there is no peace, there is only Knives. And Knives can only stop if only Knives remains. If he successfully erases humanity, then he will turn on his sisters, he will turn (more) on Vash. 

I have to agree with one thing from Chapel. He taught Wolfwood really better than to let someone get away… Someone like Chapel… Just saying.

Wolfwood tries his best to protect his home. It is never enough, the odds are so against him. How must that feel? That you give your all, you put yourself between something that evil and children and it is not enough. Remembering Wolfwood’s second nightmare, he killed Chapel to protect the orphanage from Chapel. Maybe Wolfwood found out about the continued usage by Chapel just then.

“So many uses for the good-natured.” I don’t think Wolfwood gets that Chapel means him, too. Wolfwood has been used and abused by him. He is a victim. And he cannot see it. He only sees the things he has done, not that he literally had no choice there. And he lets all the sins fall back to him, making him completely monstrous in his own eyes.

Chapel is so sure that his grip on Livio is complete and I so hope that Wolfwood can prove him wrong. 

There is something to be said about the arm sticking up into the air like the ship from the Great Fall. Even the angle is the same. This is something like the Second Fall. 

Just a reminder that Wolfwood is on the ship, unable to do anything to stop this, waiting and hoping for something to happen so he can act. And it is eating him alive. He is isolated and completely alone. If he rebels now, his life would be not only forfeited, but he would also be unable to help when… if… the time comes. He has to kill in Knives’ name while he waits all his morals and pain aside. The deaths would happen anyway. But that doesn’t change Wolfwood from hating himself for doing so. Vash is at least actively fighting Legato, Wolfwood suffers a different kind of torture. And I am not gonna lie, I'd prefer to be in Vash' position instead of Wolfwood's.

So, like after the Great Fall. How many people died after the initial crash due to hunger, infighting and exposure? Has the population since then grown? Or is it still stagnating?

INSURANCE WOMEN! AHHHHHHHH!

03: Counterattack!!!

I just love Meryl and Milly as intelligence, checking out the situation in the different cities and bringing the info to the people who are able to do something.

I love the proactiveness, I love their care, I love their bravery.

Meryl looks so different. She has lost her spunk, her spark. She looks so much more downtrodden and depressed. Softer and hurt, really.

I love our brat Brad. Like Meryl and Milly, he is a good person who tries to help the way he can. He couldn’t go out, til now, because his expertise was needed, but he is ready to go at the frontlines.

It looks like none of them know what happened to Vash. The last people of the group who have seen him are Meryl and Milly and that was when he was driven out of the city.

FINALLY SHE TELLS SOMEONE! 

And I didn’t get that Meryl knows everything… She saw more than Hoppered, but it looked like everything since Vash was adulty, but maybe Nightow retconned that one.

I have complicated feelings about this. Meryl wanted to get to know Vash and know of his enigmatic past. But narratively, Vash and she didn’t really do anything to get there. It was an accident. Vash didn’t need to change and open up to share this. And… that is an ongoing flaw of him, a flaw that has already cost him so much and we don’t see it changing. Vash not only gets her total empathy without opening up, he now gets it from all of Home (or at least the command). That said, I like that we see it affecting Meryl. She is traumatised, rightfully so. She is working through it either completely alone or only with Milly. For all the empathy Vash deserves for his life, he doesn’t really earn it by connecting to others. Others connect in his stead for him. While Meryl suffers for it alone, Vash profits from it. This is an ongoing pattern, not only with Meryl. With Wolfwood, too. How often did Wolfwood persist and run after Vash to keep on talking, while Vash avoided? And it irks me more and more, the further the volumes go. Vash is a self made martyr, but it is the people that care about him that pay most of the price. Vash needs an Oh-Moment, but I don’t trust that even that would be enough. 

Oh. Vash fought Knives before! Until now it looked like July was his first “real” fight with Knives, but he had altercations before. I would love to know more about those, because from what we saw in July and Jeneora Rock, Vash had so much trouble confronting Knives. Vash’ conflict avoidance, especially with Knives, is such a big part of him. He actively goes against Wolfwood’s advice to check out the erased towns more than once. We know that Vash has a real inner conflict going on about Knives, that he says he wants to kill him but his actions say otherwise. Did no one zoom in on that in the past? Or wasn’t it there then?

Young Luida!

Is he fighting on his own? Maybe, maybe not. But I love that the humans are now empowered enough to go and help Vash and don’t leave it to him. It doesn’t look like they wanted to in the past, either, but Vash left them no choice. Now Vash needs them, even if they don’t know how much.

No, Luida! Don’t join the selfhate club! What counts is your actions and not your thoughts. And you are the least of a coward. You lead a fucking company. Same for you, Meryl! You stood by Vash’ side. Yes, you didn’t completely understand the danger you were in, but may I remind you of Keele? Please don’t let yourself get pulled down by those martyrs. You do enough and are strong enough.

And next to everyone is like that. People don’t want conflict, they don’t want to risk being hurt or worse killed. They don’t want their loved ones to die. So if someone else is able to bear all the responsibility and pain, they feel relief. But that often leads to people like Vash and even more like Wolfwood. People who have to bear the gross alone. But what counts is action. And Meryl is going out into a warzone, trying to help and get info, Luida is leading a resistance.

Being a leader is such a difficult position. On the one hand you are safe from the frontlines, but everyone's life is on your shoulders. Your mistakes add up and your victories are easily forgotten. It is so easy to see leaders as highpaid CEOs that cash in while the workers suffer. Luida is not one of those and I hope she does not stick to that fallacy.

The plants share their memory. Vash has been shown to connect to his sisters via his mind, why wouldn’t his sisters be unable to do it, too? And this is a sign, this is a cry for Knives to stop. His sisters do not want this. They could show him hurtful things, but instead they show him humans appreciating them. What is important for me in that scene is that it is not only a child asking questions, it is a mother teaching the child ageappropriately about the plants, showing her own gratitude to the plant in question and it then gets reflected in the husband, too. The plants care for humans, they want to help. (Little siderant about angels. Angels are so much like machines. They exist for their godgiven purpose and are satisfied with this. They do not wish for more. Dependent plants seem more and more like angels, especially with Nightow saying they see humanity as their god. Independent plants, like humans, have no ingrained purpose and maybe part of the twin’s struggle comes from this. They don’t know their purpose, but they feel like they need one. Nice reflection of the modern human.)

Knives is visibly upset by his sister’s memory. Of course, since it goes against what he preaches. It shakes his resolve. Vash seems shaken, too. I cannot really put his expression there. Well, he is most likely in pain and enduring Legato. But beyond that… who knows.

I am not sure how to interpret these panels. Especially with it ending on Wolfwood smoking, what we have seen before is him enduring and waiting, too. Could it be that the dream of the plants is on par with Vash and Wolfwood, with them enduring and waiting for their time to act to give balance back to humanity and plants? Or is it a foreshadowing that those two will help the plants achieve this balance?

COUNTERATTACK! THE TIME OF WAITING IS OVER! Yes, Knives… you are so completely rational, standing at the front of your battleship, laughing maniacally.

Plant memories. Good ones. Even the researcher with the cross that got halved by Knives is part of it. His sisters see the good in humans, how they try and they appreciate it. Moreso, they actively use these memories on Knives to stop him, to make him listen.

Even here. Brad doesn’t want to attack the innocent plants. But Knives uses them as shield. Brad has to do this to get through to Knives, to have any hope of success. And again, a struggle that is caused by Knives himself that in the end hurts mainly his sisters, while he is unaffected.

And this is what the regular panels of Wolfwood smoking boiled down to. He waited for a time to act. 

It looks creepy and quiet, like a predator inching in on his prey, looming over it in a real display of power difference. An omen of death and judgement. But Wolfwood also looks like a broken man, a dead man walking at the same time. Like I said, Wolfwood has been through his own torture for seven months and I truly believe that it has left massive scars in him.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 3 Part 1

Tumblr hit me with a You're-too-naughty-label for my Trigun Maximum 2 Part 2-Post, so here have a link to it, because you can't find it otherwise. (There is nothing sexual in there... Tumblr, wtf! I reblog naughtier pics than what I wrote about the manga) *cries*

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4

Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

01: Reservoir Dogs

Oh, this page! The situations with Vash that are the most impactful for Wolfwood, the ones where he felt with him (blue) and the ones where Vash was explicitly inhuman/above human to him (red). All coming down to the panel in the lower left where both of them share a nonverbal quip, in which Vash most likely appeals to Wolfwood to not kill the people who made him suffer so much. And Wolfwood has to make a decision! Again. From how Wolfwood starts the fight, yeah, he tries to keep Ninelives alive by disarming him. He tries so hard to find a compromise between them. All while being in fucking freefall, btw. 

Ew, human body parts scorpion puppets! (The grammar program wanted to desperately change this outcry to “human body parts are scorpion puppets…” Thanks for making it worse!)

I think it is interesting that nearly everyone around them has problems dealing with the twin’s humanity. But still the glaring difference between Knives and Vash is obvious to them.

I think it is also interesting that Leonof’s point of view is based on how they deal with suffering. He suffered in the past and broke from it. His real body starts to inflict self harm upon itself at the mere mention of that, while the puppet he controls states the plant’s resilience as a glaring example of their inhumanity. And he reasons that he wants Vash in his collection for that very reason. Maybe to learn from him how to be that resilient. 

Such a bitter outlook. While Leonof has his little ideological crisis just by Vash existing, Wolfwood fights for his life, again, and again internally against his deeply rooted cynicism. 

I love how so much of Wolfwood’s inner beliefs are directly contrary to his existence. The nihilistic bastard says nothing changes, all good is for naught and ideals don’t matter. Without giving us much context, we can confer much about his life. He had no one to really look up to, even if he was in a safe place it was in constant danger of disappearing or he had experience with that just happening, he has seen good people die and their goodness being for nothing in the long run. But then here he is, still willing to dirty his own hands so he can make sure that orphaned kids have that safe place that he didn’t have. He changes their future. But he is completely unable to see it.

And Vash does. I love how the panels drive that down. Vash is not deterred by Wolfwood’s cynicism. Vash is not deterred by his own experiences. If it is the right thing or not remains to be seen.

WHY ARE THE TOMA CRYING?! QQ BABIES! NOOOO! Meryl, what did you do to them? (And while they are the horses of No-Man’s-Land, we now know they can barf. I’d like to see the No-Man’s-Landers reaction to the German idiom: “Well, horses have been seen throwing up.” Which kinda means: You never know. All is possible. And I just want to know their reaction to it! They don’t know horses and they don’t know the idiom and they would know even less likely that horses are unable to vomit. *cries* I am suddenly emotional about this scene. AHHHHH! I wanna see Meryl and Wolfwood being completely confused, Milly just accepting it and Vash being like: Huh? But Horses can't vomit...)

02: Cement

“This is my business.” What do you mean, Wolfwood? Your decision and you standing by it? Or you being unforgivable? 

*sees Ninelives opening their mouth* I am not gonna say the whole thing but it ends with dentata… Thanks, Freud.

I have problems following the whole action, but damn. It is bloody, gory and feels so personal. And it fits Wolfwood’s state of mind, battling with the feeling of dread by Vash, his own mortality and his struggle being trapped in a No-Win-Situation. All odds are against Wolfwood and are towering over him. David against Goliath. Wolfwood is so small.

Nightow is able to give us that sense of Wolfwood being small and a punching bag. But he still is able to add those moments that show how fucking quick Wolfwood’s deduction is and how fast he acts to it. 

I love the way Nightow draws Wolfwood here. He seems to be less there than Ninelives with how part of his body is not drawn. And it reminds me so much of the page of Wolfwood’s past where he was shot the first time.

“I don’t want to die!”

And that is what it comes back to again and again with Wolfwood.

Sassy!

Did I mention that I love the way how Nightow draws body language? You really do get the feeling that Wolfwood is barely able to stay on his feet.

Well, Wolfwood said he’d disarm him. And, look, that way he didn’t have to kill Ninelives! Even though Wolfwood desperately fought for his life, he was able to hold up Vash’s ideals here. He tries so hard, man. I feel for him.

“The rest of them will come... That's for sure... Like demons risin' from hell…” While Wolfwood enjoys his (earned) victory (too early), he is already thinking about the consequences of his decision and what further strife it will bring him.

Oh, fuck, I didn’t realise the arm was moving! I needed to take a double take when I saw it holding the up button in the next chapter. Ew! Ew! Ew! Maybe it is me not being able to take in all the detail that Nightow draws. Good that I am reading the manga in discussion mode.

3: No Escape!

Damn, the chapter title. No escape from what? No escape for Nicholas from his fate? Is it an omen that Nicholas’ struggle to escape his bloody lifestyle is doomed and that he has to kill again and again? That though he tried his best to upkeep Vash’s ideals that he has to decide between Ninelives’ and his own life? Is this foreshadowing that he will be unable to escape his place between a rock and a hard place and end up squished? 

Nicholas’ third gun, the fucking rocket launcher.

Vash hears Wolfwood’s struggle, but we don’t get any insight into what he thinks. Worry for Wolfwood? Surely. But what more? Does he reflect upon their talk here? Is he considering that Wolfwood is risking his very life for Vash’s home right now? For him? How that explicitly contradicts Wolfwood’s very reason to be at his side? As a traitor to be and follower of Knives.

As another user said, Wolfwood’s fight is a close combat one, all dark and claustrophobic. It is David against Goliath. Vash is in open space. His struggle is not for his life, not really, his struggle is to reach Leonof and get through to him. By switching between their fights, Nightow stresses the difference. That's such a brilliant way to story tell.

Please correct me. I have a really big problem reading Wolfwood here. Why is he grinning? I read it as defiance and a dare against the thought of something being immortal and thus being unable to be reached by a mere mortal like him. It is as much a challenge towards Ninelives as it is towards Vash. But I am not sure and I need other perspectives!

And just a quiet, little panel between Wolfwood spearing and shooting Ninelives, shows him being drenched in blood, looking weary and tired. And the way the blood smears under his eye, looks like he is crying. The panel is so full, you barely see it and you barely see it on the page. You need to pay attention to see it. And damn, if that doesn't summarise Wolfwood's plight and arc perfectly. I think it is my favourite panel out of the volume, there are so many cool ones, but this is so quiet and sad between all those loud and cool fighting ones. Wolfwood is drowning, someone please rescue him!

And while Wolfwood’s fight is bloody, explosive and incredibly loud, Vash’s is quiet and dreary. It plays with our feeling of foreboding and your knowledge that what he fights is the corpses of close ones.

Baby with a gun!

“I see beneath that cold, calculative expression of yours.” Interesting, Leonof. A chapter ago you said that his cold stare hides a void full of suffering. What more do you want to see? Are you mocking him? Or are you trying to relate?

And the chapter ends with Vash declaring Leonof’s real name and that the game ends. No escape for Emilio, either!

04: Emilio the player

Hi, Brad! Those aren’t only puppet parts! :3 Those are body parts of the people you grew up with. Joy!

The puppet master reacts to the name. Leonof registers the name as his own, but his puppet seems to deny it! His puppet is his way to keep a distance from himself and reality.

Vash knows the name of everyone he has met. (I cannot even remember the name you just told me. Vash superpowers! Well, that, but it also makes him so incredibly inhuman for me. He knows everyone, but connects to no one. It reads like such an artificial bond. He loves humanity, but like I love Pokemon. (without the fighting system)) But damn, Leonof’s breakdown is so creepy. 10/10 sleep paralysis demon. Good work, Nightow.

Hi, Doc. ;C

“All according to keikaku!,” is what I think about when reading that sentence.

But seriously, I read up guignol and was kinda shocked that it is comparable to the German Kasperle theatre and had a bit of a culture revelation. *hugs their French brethren*

The same page has Vash connecting the dots and forming a plan on how to defeat Emilio without killing him. I love how we get the foreshadowing without realising it.

Gosh, I have a thing for wet hair Vash. He just looks so much better with his hair down! 

I know that No-Man’s-Land doesn’t have the best dentistry, but, Emilio, your teeth shouldn’t shatter like this.

Sorry, Brad, but that is no puppet. :/

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 7.2

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

Outside is a nice thunderstorm. There was a lightningstrike up close that was so strong I felt it rumble in the ground. *happy lizard* Sadly, I cannot stand outside to get peltered by those thicc, heavy raindrops. *somethingsomethingbeingasaneperson*

Much babble, but hopefully less heavy than the last post.

04: Bastards and the blues

What a title…

Considering where Wolfwood comes from… cynicism is a coping mechanism… He doesn’t hit the nail on the head, but at least he cares about Vash, he tries to egg him on to talk about it. Not that Vash would ever take him up on it…

I just like this panel of Wolfwood. He looks so roughed up. Cutie.

Others have already talked about Vash. But how is Wolfwood coping? He is like so often all about Vash, but what about him and his needs? He got massively hurt in the fight with Midvalley, got fried by Vash’ power, tried to at least get Meryl&Milly out, because he himself can’t. His orphanage is still at stake. And he, like Vash, does not open up and takes it all upon himself. But unlike Vash, whose end goal is vaguely saving all of humanity from Knives, his goal is so much clearer but is absolutely dependent on Vash. Who is like this… And not a help at all.

Vash and Wolfwood vibes. The upbeat idiot and his himbo follower.

What can I say but mob mentality, again? These are humanity's worst. How can people be so feral about killing an innocent and then turn around calling Vash a monster? Hypocrisy at work. Seeing this and still keeping onto his goal of saving everyone… 

Vash feels different here. This is Vash staying peaceful out of spite. He is hurt, he is at a loss, but he is unable to stray from his ideals. This Vash may even feel like he agrees with Knives, though he knows better than to act upon it. It would help talking about it with someone… Like that weird priest with the portable confessionary. I am sure you get a discount.

Correction, the guy is Vash with more selfworth and less selfhate. Vash just puts himself down and suffocates any talk about himself. This guy really wanted to get to know Vash as a person. But Vash denies him that. Sure, he answers truthfully, but it drowns the conversation. Vash does it intentionally. And that guy zooms in on why.

I love how soft Wolfwood looks in these panels. With “Double Team” this chapter is one of my favourites, just for the expressions. But he also looks like he is about to break down, too. But he is all about Vash.

While Vash is basically coping with alcohol, Wolfwood is swallowing his guilt and pain about his mission coming to an end soon, and the situation he will lead Vash into. I feel so much more for Wolfwood here.

Vash is coping badly and denying any help and closeness, most likely also due to the aftermath of dragon’s nest district and Colnago. He was shunned for what he is. But at the same time, he has people at his side and Vash doesn’t seem to value them. That is new people, like the two outsiders who make their living at the edge of society and known people, like Wolfwood. And I am starting to grow more and more miffed at Vash for that. Vash is so much about his difference from humans that he is unable to see the humans that reach out to him, that want him at their side. But he seems only aware of those that don’t. Talk about Vash ignoring what he preaches.

Vash doesn’t appreciate or understand the meaning this little place has, he is too occupied with drinking away his pain. But Wolfwood does and he looks extremely grateful. Grateful enough that he chooses to let down his mask a bit and relax. And I am emotional about this. Vash is lonely in company, while Wolfwood is truly sidelined, truly the caretaker and truly alone with all the responsibility. But at least the old lady gives him some kind of respite. Heck, I am grateful for the old lady, too! I love her. Bartenders can truly be angels.

Vash is at a lowpoint. His true regret and depression shines through. One-eye is the same. Granny’s summary puts One-eye and Vash both on the same level. I take back my words that he has less self hatred than Vash. They are the same, they mirror each other. Both are outsiders with regrets about the past that are shunned again and again by society. But they keep on trying.

Forgetting your hurt and moving on… But in the end coming back to the same coping mechanism called alcohol. I do not truly agree, but I don’t think I truly get what One-Eye is saying, either. It sounds like the depressed kind of nihilism. But I think he gets Vash’ feeling of loneliness and hopelessness. That he will always return to being alone. It’s just that… I don’t think Vash is truly alone. Home, Meryl, Milly, Brandon, Wolfwood… those people know him and they stayed. (Okay, Meryl needs a break, but that does not mean she is gone forever).

First, panels! I love how Wolfwood is positioned here. Like cerberus at the gates of hell, he stands at the entrance of the bar, shining from behind. He guides Vash to his fate.

Secondly, other things about the page. Vash feels Knives doing his pissing contest in the sky and runs out. But I think, this question here means so much more than that. It is Vash reassuring himself that Wolfwood is not there for Vash, but there against Vash. That the friendship they have is fake and that he is truly lonely. That even the person that stayed truest at his side isn’t there for him. In his depression Vash does not see Wolfwood for who he is. He can’t. 

His question is there to hurt himself. Vash is coming more and more undone. He looks for reasons to affirm his bitter feelings towards humanity. And the affirmation that Wolfwood is his enemy is enough that his control over himself slips.

And Wolfwood is honest as always. I wanna slap him for the: “I told ya from the start…” He is not completely wrong, but fucking eurythmics is really not the way to spell that out! But Wolfwood did not hide this, not really. And I have to give him credit for that. Lying wouldn’t make anything easier, it would make things worse. At least like this Vash is able to act with full knowledge. And he looks so pained. 

I wish both would say more. I wish they would clear the air between them. I wish Wolfwood could tell Vash that he is on his side, even if he started out as Knives’ minion. I wish Vash would ask Wolfwood for more. Because Vash knows Wolfwood, he knows his priorities. And helping a genocidal maniac does not agree with him trying to protect an orphanage. We know that Vash is able to put two and two together. But Wolfwood sees himself as a burden and cannot step out of his stoic position and Vash never learned to communicate feelings.

Tearing down all the satellites is an intelligent move. Now the human settlements cannot share information easily and thus the human population is split into smaller groups that are thus easier to eradicate.

“This”? This as in that his brother is decaying? And he is the cause for it? That he know feels like a gun is pointed at his chest and he needs to act now before his brother uses up all his power?

Elendira is so sure that she will die in the fallout of Knives’ tantrum. And that is sad. She doesn’t budge, though. She will stay at his side. Did she hope to stay til the end with Knives? Why? She likes non”-suicidal men”. Does she like Knives? It doesn’t look like infatuation. I still think of her as a nihilist. But now the whole “making smores while the world burns”-feeling is gone. She looks sad. I wanna know more about her! D;

It feels by stressing that he will remember their shared time together, Vash disagrees with One-Eye. Be it with everything One-Eye said or just with parts of it, like ending up alone again. If that is what Vash disagrees with especially, then it would mean that Vash knows that Wolfwood is on his side despite being his guide, that he is not alone. Which would mean he at least starts to get out of his crunch and start to appreciate his companions again. Yay?

05: Late arrival to the end of the world

LIAR! Sorry, but that is such a big lie. Vash is only ready for this, because he has no other choice. Knives forces Vash’ hands. Vash is so much about avoidance!

But saying that would mean he would open up to Wolfwood, who is visibly worried about Vash. And we cannot have that! Others caring for him.

And as “prepared” as Vash is, just the presence of his brother’s aura makes his skin literally crawl.

Wolfwood is the same. He puts his own needs and pain on the backburner so Vash can do his best. He wants Vash to succeed. And we can’t have Vash being distracted just because Wolfwood just had a death vision.

How about both are careful?

And still, being warned and all, Wolfwood doesn’t want to leave Vash. He is ready to run after him to help him in any way against his brother. Until Elendira reminds him that he cannot.

I love the double misdirection. We as readers are led to think that it is Elendira he will fight for Vash, but NOPE, it is Double Fang and Tripunisher of death. And at the same time in the story, Wolfwood avoids lying to Elendira, he avoids telling her where his loyalties lie.

Only Elendira brings a BOW to a gunfight. And she wins!

So, who caused the death aura? Was it from the old arsehole or from double fang? The old arsehole has more reasons to want Wolfwood absolutely dead, with him having been shot by Wolfy.

What shitty name? Did the old bitch name Wolfwood? The whole name? Is oldie Wolfwood’s old master? He knows his full name and, well, Wolfwood said he put him full of lead. The only EoM we know of that Wolfwood did that to is the true Chapel. Does anyone else know that the wrinklebell is the true chapel?

Elendira’s word is enough to make them stop. No one wants to fight that woman. *swoons*

Also, Wolfwood recognises Double Fang as Livio. How does he do that behind that stupid halfmask and the fucking mop of hair?

Ah, yes, my favourite. Old churchmen dehumanising children as weapons. Can I kick him? I shove him out of his wheelchair and run away with it. Then I gift it to someone in need. :3c Pwease?

But it says also much about Wolfwood. No wonder Wolfwood has trouble seeing himself as human, as being worthy of softness, when he was used as a weapon and completely dehumanised by his master.

Elendira’s look. *chef’s kiss* Also, that’s what you do if you accidentally misgender someone, correct yourself and move on.

I love this. Elendira has blind faith in Knives’ capabilities. (Next chapter tells us more). Wolfwood calling her out on it gets rebuffed, but his faith in Vash is not without merit.

That looks so comfy! (When it is 30°C outside, but you need a blanket to fall asleep.)

06. Conflict

I mean, yeah, this is a conflict.

Uff, Knives is so very aware that kid Vash shared his opinion. He is not without reason to assume that current Vash may agree, too. But Knives also ignores that Vash has met so many good humans. And that he himself is kinda part of the reasons the humans are exploiting their sisters. 

Knives only sees his way of thinking, for the worse. He is unable to empathise with others’ experiences. He even uses the idea of Tesla to give his hate more credibility. Tesla would agree, wouldn’t she? We don’t know, but more importantly the twins do not know. Tesla had no agency when the humans tortured her and now her memory itself gets distorted and abused. She truly has no voice.

Knives is literally breaking apart. He cannot really contain his sisters’ energy. His fear and anger is destroying himself.

Well, you just met your crazy brother after 2.5 years and he just told you he is the reason you are dying. Btw… you’re dying. Now fight!

Back to taking any agency from Vash again. Knives is the reason why Vash has started decaying. Without Knives, Vash would never have been able to activate his angel arm. He would never have lost control in July and then in Jeneora Rock. Knives’ hate bleeds his brother dry. If Knives just stopped now, Vash still had much time left. He wouldn’t have to use his power. He only uses his power because of Knives. But Knives is unable to even think of that. Everything is about humans, if humanity wasn’t Knives wouldn’t be forced to act and thus he is not responsible for his actions, humanity is. 

Legato feels something that no one else does. And he shall join his master one little hop at a time!

I just love the sass Elendira gives him. I’d dislike him, too, as a coworker. Nothing about him is sane, but the boss likes him, so you gotta swallow your dislike.

I just love Elendira with Wolfwood. I love her sass and how Wolfwood is like totally apathetic towards it. 

Not untrue, but look at that… Vash is leaving a blood lake because of you, Knives. Are you truly better? So many of Vash’ scars, mental and physical, are a direct result of Knives’ action. But how can you get that into his head? He twisted his mind into such loops, that his actions seem justified for him. Behind all that, he is scared for himself. The safety of his brother is just a sign for himself that he himself is safe. So he has to bring Vash onto his side and save him from himself. At all costs. Even if that would mean tearing him apart limb from limb, breaking his mind, maybe even absorbing him. Vash is not a person for Knives. Vash is a trophy-

Vash’ counter idea is… not the best… It is silly and naive. I understand that Knives is a bit frustrated at that. If you had a century’s time to find a solution and it is such a silly one… I’d be angry, too. Imagine doing a fucking murder game to show your brother the light and he says: We can just run away :3 

Interestingly, neither of them can imagine that they could settle down somewhere and live in peace. Even Vash thinks that they will need to run away and need to try again and again. (Not like he could settle down in fucking HOME?!?!)

Vash breaks through Knives armour, but in the end it only hurts his sisters that have been absorbed. Which is telling, Knives hides behind the sisters that he protects. But in the end they are means to an end.

Creepy Legato is creepy. He gets more and more unhinged. I have no words. No, seriously, this panel fucking scared me. It really does.

I want so much more of those two being disturbed by Legato. I love them.

And in the end it comes to this. Knives being so unable to see Vash as his own individual with his own faults and reasons that he tries to take the rest of his agency and autonomy. Vash is just a trophy. Knives just needs to have him, he doesn’t need the person.

Vash uses suck…

Back to the former chapter... Elendira's reality is shown as blind faith. She was a big benchmark for us readers to see how things are going, but we realise now that she has been wrong. Things could still turn, Knives is not as powerful as he seems. He swallowed all his sisters and, still, if Legato hadn't intervened... We would get a happy ending.

Is Knives that unable to read people that he doesn’t see how fucking done Legato is? I wouldn’t trust him to take care of a grape! Much less my so important brother whose continued existence was the reason I did a murder game!

So, Wolfwood did not jump the ark? He stayed while it got off the ground? So, he is with Vash the whole time?

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 3 Part 2

Why the hecking heck am I so slow. I need to catch up! I will do so this week! Don't hold me to my word, please!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

05: The long goodbye

Poor Brad. He’s in all over his head. He does not even have any fighting experience!

There he is! Our well-prepared, dead man! Being sucked in by the darkness that followed the bloodbath!

The things Wolfwood protects are painted in crass contrast to him. They are just white outlines. They are innocence. Wolfwood on the other hand is painted in blood, black suit, dark hair.

Nightow likes to drive home why Wolfwood is able to do such brutal acts. Without him contrasting Wolfwood’s actions with the closeups to his face showing his despair and intersecting with Wolfwood thinking about the kids he protects, I don’t think the readers would feel so much empathy for Wolfwood. Nothing about Wolfwood’s fight is clean or straight, unlike Vash’s. Vash is somewhat in control during his fight, no, he has control. He can keep the enemy at bay, he lets the puppets close and acts only when he knows they truly are puppets. He talks to Emilio and tries to get through to him. Wolfwood has no such power. He hasn’t even got words left. Wolfwood’s fight is direct, gory, bloody, brutal, and personal. It reads like a rabid animal fighting for its life, being cornered and having no way out, baring its teeth and tearing its enemy apart. But who can fault him for it?

Other users already pointed out that Wolfwood’s eyes go bright when he is in emotional stress. This a desperate animal trying to stay alive, to not die. But Nightow intersects Wolfwood physically killing the little people in Ninelives so brutally with Wolfwood needing to concentrate on the reason why he does it. For me, it reads like Wolfwood outright fully dissociating while he kills Ninelives. Fleeing to his safe place and the reason why he persists in this world. Wolfwood is truly a monster, but even at his most monstrous we get to see him at his most human, too. Brutal and cold, his actions may be, but they are not done by hatred, but stem from a love for someone. His expression visibly softens while he thinks about the orphanage. 

It is extra horrific that the little people inside Ninelives are so small, childlike from their height and body proportions. It must be extra hard for Wolfwood. Wolfwood needs therapy after this!

Another reason why I read this as dissociating is that the other two Ninelives are able to sneak up on Wolfwood. He shuts himself off and is unable to hear or sense them in any way and leaves his back completely open, even though he knows there are many people in the body and he doesn’t know how many. It is unlike Wolfwood to let his walls down like that. He's at a breaking point.

When you want to protect the corpse of your childhood sweetheart and you accidentally topple over like a domino game. This panel made me laugh.

Time for a concussion! Not like Nightow really thinks about the consequences of head trauma *stares at Vash giving head trauma left and right* This trope, I hate and love it. 

*pats Brad* Sorry, buddy. Now you know, too.

Either Brad vomits because of the revelation or because of the headtrauma. Porque No Los Dos?

Brad says: Yeet the creep! Not gonna lie, that is a very intelligent way to deal with the intruder. The part with the power is interesting. Brad is very aware of the power source and what they need it for. Foreshadowing?

Vash to the rescue! Even after all Emilio did, Vash doesn’t want him to die. I have many feelings about that. Not all are positive towards Vash. Not all are bad, either. It’s a difficult situation and a difficult stance. No one would have faulted him for not trying to save the man who killed and vivisected so many of his loved ones. Some may even take offence to it. There is no right answer in the grand picture, but Vash can at least know that he did all he could from his ideal’s perspective.

Emilio chooses to die. He cannot live with the loss of Isabel, his not-girlfriend. At least I conclude that Emilio never told her and the regret eats him alive. I hope that is no foreshadowing for Vash, since Emilio is kinda his counterpart to Vash in this arc. Both are men made by grief. Emilio even compared Vash and himself at the beginning, both harbouring so much grief and suffering behind their masks. Being a higher being like Vash means for Emilio that Vash is able to just deal with the losses, totally dehumanising Vash. But he does not see that Vash does not do it. The people who he really connects to haunt him and their memory controls him til today, like with Rem. Emilio and Vash also mirror each other in the way they feel about their life. Emilio does not want to live a life without Isabel and chooses to die when he cannot even have her corpse, the illusion of her at his side, Vash does not really want to live either, without Rem or any real connection, but he still avoids those. Our latent suicidal boy :C 

That looks biblical… Also, Wolfy? You still there? You look completely gone.

Aw, the girls have his back! Did… Did Milly shoot them through the ceiling? She looks so delighted. “Look what my gun can do! Weee!” Why do I get a flashback to the 98’ scene where Vash is like: “I know a shortcut!” And proceeds to shoot through like 20 floors down.

What do the first two panels even mean? Argh! Please, someone tell me.

Hehe, in the “Nick” of time. You did that on purpose, didn’t you, Milly? Is that the Toma-Dude calling down to them? Wolfwood looks just so done. 

06: Families

Interestingly, the title does not say ”Family” singular, but plural. So it will be about the contrast between Vash’s blood family and Vash’s chosen family?

I am not laughing at Knives’ silly BDSM-getup with the 6 eyeholes, while having a fucking round piano thingy around him. I am totally not laughing at him. His get-up reminds me somewhat of Belzebub, the master of flies. But I am not laughing at him. … I am. I am laughing at Knives.

And he shoots just a hole into the ceiling… For funsies.

Aw, a memory of Doc and how they found Vash! Q_Q

HOSPITAL YURI! HOSPITAL YURI! HOSPITAL YURI! AHHHHHHHHH! He woke up to Wolfwood’s heartbeat! Vash looks so somft when he realises that it is Wolfwood! But also so distraught at either the condition that Wolfwood is in or worse, he faults himself for it because they argued about their ideals before.

Not gonna lie, I’d react the same way. Jessica reads weird to me with her puppy crush. They met when she was like 5, she is now around 17 years old and still has her infatuation on high drive. Maybe I am too autistic to get that. *sits with the insurance women and is confused*

Why… does Meryl hit him over the head? Vash is just really happy to see her. He does not do anything creepy like '98 Vash. They are having a moment here! This is so outta the blue. Is it one of those tsundere jokes? That Meryl is unable to show her true relief and thus acts out? Meh :C 

I love how they then awkwardly proceed to give him business cards. I know business cards are incredibly important in Japan. But the insurance women give them one handedly, which is not right as far as I know. They hold them out more like badges. They are such cute weirdos.

LUIDA! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOUR STYLE! AHHHHHH!

And good on her for putting on Vash’s head right. He rescued them! His existence is not wrong. These are Emilio’s, Ninelive’s and Knives’ actions! I love how down to the matter Luida is. But at the same time, she avoids talking about Doc. She is hurting, too. But she needs to be a leader now, first and foremost. But her grief is palpable.

Sidenote: In ‘98 the whole ship was pretty hostile towards Wolfwood as an outsider. And they even turned on Vash in the end. And damn, that was really hard to watch. Maybe that’s why I saw and see Brad in a harsher light, because he was kinda the summary of the ship's behaviour. I really, really like that Nightow did not keep this up. Vash has been through so much and FINALLY there is an adult that can understand cause and effect and “judges” Vash for what he does and not for who is after his ass. It is the question of who is at fault, the gun or the one who pulled the trigger. Who do you hate, the gun or the person who shot?

No, another nightmare for Wolfwood? At least now I got my question answered if anyone ever saw him get one. Vash did.

This is a funny scene, but it says so much sad stuff. The second Wolfwood is conscious, worse from a nightmare, he is alarmed. He needs to check his surroundings for safety first before he can even allow himself to check up on his body’s condition. Didn’t he break all his ribs? Every breath must be painful, but no, he needs to check his safety first. A hospital should be a place where people feel safe, but Wolfwood surely does not. And as soon as he spots Vash, his mask is back on and he is his usual snarky self. And that after a nightmare that woke him up! GODDAMN! GIVE THIS MAN THERAPY!

Damn, going right at his own throat. Vash does not judge Wolfwood. Wolfwood judges himself and projects that onto Vash. And Vash denies him. He thanks him, instead. Here, Vash is understanding Wolfwood, but Wolfwood doesn’t understand Vash due to his own prejudices. Wolfwood cannot accept that someone does not judge him as hard as he judges himself. Man, those men.

“I’ve burdened you with my own ideals.” Such a raw line. I love it. What I am missing a bit in Vash is that we see Vash reflect upon other people. We get Wolfwood who constantly reflects upon himself and others and judges, we get Meryl trying to understand Vash and bringing his inhumanity together with his apparent softness that he has shown again and again, we get Brad dealing with Vash’s unchanging immortality and the way he bonds with people in a very inhuman way. But we don’t get Vash reflecting on how other people impact him. Even now, his stance is how he affected Wolfwood, not how Wolfwood affects him. Vash is unchanging. For the better and worse. That may be by intent from Nightow, since Vash is such an inhuman being. Maybe even we, the readers, aren’t prone to get a true insight of him and only bits and pieces from the story to build up our own image.

“The way he talks, his words... they contradict everythin' I stand for. Immortality.” Foreshadowing?! 

Is it truly Vash’ apparent immortality that scares Wolfwood? Or is it the sudden realisation that Vash is so much longer than Wolfwood on the planet and still holds onto his “naive” ideals? That nothing he experienced did deter his optimism? Wolfwood already breaks under the burden of his priorities, the orphanage and thus his own survival. But for Vash, it is everyone except himself. To grapple such an idea and see it successfully executed is jarring. It is inhuman. Vash is inhuman and this is the point that Wolfwood truly understands his inhumanity. And it fucking scares him

07: His life as a …

A reminder that No-Man’s-Land is pretty lawless. Why does law exist (in theory)? The law is there so people do not abuse their power. So people don’t take revenge. It is there so that after a misdeed families don’t run into blood feuds taking revenge upon revenge until the triggering act is forgotten but the stream of blood does not stop. The men in the beginning of the chapter do exactly that, use their power to exact pure revenge over people in their captivity. This is an extremely ugly consequence of people willing to do everything to protect their families. I can empathise why they do it, but I don’t approve of it.

Vash is about 180cm in the manga. How small is Luida? Damn! Also, baby Brad! Baby brat Brad! So the front page shows Luida, the doc, maybe doc's father and Brad and Jessica. It looks like a family picture. Is Doc Luida's father? How does Brad relate to her? Or Jessica? Brad wanting to woo her at least should mean that they aren't related.

This scene always gets me. Luida putting her foot down and just being a boss. It is so small, but so telling about the characters. I love how Wolfwood just respects her rules, even though he chimes in like a little boy with: “But it ain’t even lit.”

I also love that Wolfwood just carries his drip like the punisher.

Vash shows Meryl and Milly an extremely important part of him. He is showing vulnerability, but at the same time… I don’t know, it feels incomplete? Vash is staring away, at his past and more importantly at Rem, while Meryl watches him and reflects upon their experiences. Meryl watches from the outside, she does not get any insight.

We, the readers and Wolfwood, get a bit of a summary about Vash’ past, but I don't know if Meryl and Milly do get it. It looks a bit like it, but at the same time absolutely not. There is a hint that Vash is older than them, but it is a hint: “It’s from a long time ago. Before your grandparents were born.” It is from before he was born, too! But it has been on this planet since before their grandparents were born. He is not part of the sentence. But it is subtle and I would not get it when I was in the insurance women’s shoes. Milly may have gotten it, but the scene focuses on Meryl. Does Vash tell them about his past? I don’t think so. If he did, why does Meryl think that she can see his enigmatic past laid out there? Why are we shown this introspection without any Oh!-moment? It is more about feeling and not knowing. The cuts to his past are always told from Luida’s/ Home’s perspective and focuses on Wolfwood’s reaction. Vash is truly a man where you need to pull every info out of his nose by force. 

“This time… it is possible…” What is possible? Wolfwood is focused on Vash’ age, so I understand that he immediately zooms in on Vash dying, but I read that more as a worry for Vash. Vash is passively suicidal. That is a fact. 

But why is it a foolish question? What does Luida mean with Vash’ true immortality? Sorry, that I totally do not get. Yes, if Vash used his true power no one would stand a chance, but he doesn’t because he gives everyone else power over him. That reads as a cry for redemption. We, the readers, know that Vash feels an immense loss for Rem and that’s why he needs to protect every last living human. But self flagellation for an idol is still a cry for some kind of absolvement or redemption. Does Luida mean that he could just regenerate? Knives should have been able to do that! He needed a new body because Vash damaged his old one too much. But Vash choses the pain that comes with the mutilations he endured. That is self hate. So why is Wolfwood wrong by assuming it is a cry for redemption? Or is the question foolish because it is too obvious. (I really need input here, please.)

Uh, okay, I got my answer. Luida agrees with Wolfwood that Vash wishes for a form of redemption.

I still stand by my point that knowing everybody’s face and name may be amazing, but it does not mean true connection. Vash does not feel connected to them for me. If everyone is important, no one is. He is a human caretaker and not part of the group.

Another user already pointed out that Wolfwood’s face is torn (tell me who you are and I add you, better show me the post and I link that one). 

The left side is smiling affectionately and the right side looks forlorn and commiserating. While I don’t think Wolfwood accepts Vash’s point of view, he emphasises with the pain that Vash carries around and comes to terms with Vash’s point of view here. Vash won’t change it. It is something Wolfwood cannot change, even though he wishes to. While he does not understand it, he starts to admire Vash’s resilience and strength. Additionally to that, the talk with Luida helped Wolfwood understand that Vash’s behaviour does not come from not understanding the world, what he thought even at the start of the chapter, but by outright fighting the status quo. The last sentence drives that home for me. Vash is not a true gunman that tries to look on the bright side of life, Vash is a true gunman that keeps trying to look on the bright side of life. This is an active decision of Vash’ part and that makes a big difference. Maybe here, Wolfwood even starts to wish to protect Vash for it.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 7.1

Me: Okay, I rush quickly through the volumes to catch up.

Also me: *rambles your ear off*

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

Happy Days

Dunno, how that can be a happy day when the ships are nearly falling down. Don’t worry, they stay in the sky… for now.

And Rem’s obvious fear that is strong enough for her to take time to call the twins WHILE the ships have an emergency and Vash’ constant cautiousness make Knives worry, too. If the twins are such an exceptional appearance, why didn’t Rem wake the other watchers?

But Knives has more important things to do than worry! He seems intrinsically connected to the emergency at hand.

I… watched too many sci-fi-horror stuff. My first thought when seeing the hand was: ZOMBIES!

And ewewewewew, needle in neck. NOOOOOOO! EWWWWWWWWW! I am so icked out.

They have no brainwaves when being frozen. We learned that in the last chapter. So, they are dead. Imagine being nothing and suddenly… BAMM! You’re back! Cold as hell and need to act immediately. Fuckity.

Hi, Conrad! You look exactly like 150 years later. Tell me your skincare routine.

Three years. I shall make a note, this seems important.

Eh, typical crew banter. At least it is not like ‘98. Brrrr….

Knives, what did you do?

And the crewmembers are sus. Do they know? Why would they know? But they zoom in on something, maybe something that happened three years ago? But Rem lies. And suddenly that friendly crew banter seems less friendly and a predatory feeling added.

Rem does not accept. She thanks the crewmate, but she does not accept it! With the sus scene before it reads like Rem is shielding the twins from the crews knowledge. And it looks more and more like Rem is hiding something like fear and mistrust behind her friendly face. (Also, I think it is somewhat funny that Rem and Wolfwood act so similar. Both don’t truly lie, they avoid and distract.)

How did Rem not see Conrad not going into coldsleep? She had to be pissed at Knives at that moment to err like this! XD And we get the confirmation that Knives was the cause for the emergency and that’s why he is so locked onto his little tablet.

A year… later more to that.

I think Rem’s handling is a bit naive. She just wants to take the twins into coldsleep with her. That’s okay. But how does she think her crewmates other than Conrad will react? Does she have different pods for the twins? Isn’t there a high risk that one crewmate would see two more pods in use? Or does she want to take them in the same pod with her? Then they would be discovered at the next emergency. Conrad seems to be on her side, while not completely okay with her violating the rules, he tolerates it. And while in coldsleep, Rem is unable to act if some crewmate decides to… whatever. 

Vash’ expression. He does not believe it immediately, but Knives makes him believe and trust Conrad’s words and in a peaceful existence. It is so weird to see Knives being the hopeful and excited twin. And in the current timeline, both are full of pain and despair. Just Vash is masking behind the smile he learned to wear.

I think of her like an echo, like the image of Conrad was one when Knives killed him. The twins do not know. They think of their little crush instead and need to check her pod first. They cannot discern if the image is real or not.

An abandoned, medical wing with a fresh, cut flower. A memorial for someone or something and it is taken care of. Maybe Rem or Conrad (since it seems he just went back to sleep) put it there. With the distrust for the other crewmembers, I doubt it was one of them.

Tesla, the name is not foreboding at all. Like Tesla the inventor without whom our day and age would not be possible, but who was duped out of his inventions, who was used up until he died poor and isolated. (The man loved pigeons and I know I would have vibed with him just for that)

Yeah, the subject… the dehumanised subject. The person being able to perceive, feel and hurt that is just a soulless subject. The subject that is able to speak! How did it take ONEHUNDRED days for someone to pipe up about the ethical questions of: Cutting the child up! I didn’t get it in the first read through, but she got tumours most likely because she was scanned so much. Do you know how much you need to be x-rayed for that to happen? Many, many, many times. Daily... And they did not care… Tesla was not able to perceive pain in their warped view. 

We only see three of the five crewmates loom over Tesla. With the dispute and everything, we can assume that Conrad and Rem weren’t involved, but also weren’t able to stop it. Either because they weren’t able to get through to the other crewmates or being overruled.

The question of ethics is an important one for me. Even distancing myself from the horrible feeling I have about all of this and look at it more rationally, why did they do this? Yes, curiosity mixed with dehumanisation. But I mean not only that, aren’t there protocols and behavioural standards that they have to keep up? *points to Germany and Japan in the 40s* There is a reason those exist! The SEED project has to have rules for behaviour and for emergencies! How to act if something unforeseen happens! And human rights do not stop working just because you are in space. These people played god, they played with a lifeform! A lifeform they were able to perceive as conscious! There are so many things that can be tested without vivisecting her! And besides that, do they even have the training to do so? Their work is to keep the SEEDS ship on course… Sorry, but engineering stuff and ship stuff to VIVISECTION… that’s a far jump. What was even their goal in this? Because I don’t read any here. I just read someone ripping off the legs of a spider to see what happens. Understanding Tesla and her power is not their goal! There is no hypothesis, there is no thing they want to prove. Even the simple idea of: How does Tesla work/perceive stuff… Because for that… they could have talked and used tests that aren’t… *stares at the picture* ripping out her heart to see what happens. We see them use EEGs! Some close friends work in research. To make a study that contains humans they need to get through a dire evaluation process, and an ethics committee and more often than not they get denied because some wording is slightly off. Hell, they had to go through hell to get a study with pigeons approved! (granted… the pigeons were euthanized and their brains were cut up into small slices).

Tesla didn’t even reach her first birthday. That’s why it is so important that the boys are a year old to Conrad.

Even in death they did not leave Tesla whole. Her brain is separated and her angel arm, too. The rest of her body is torn apart and left floating in a tank like a medicinal specimen.

But I like these panels. “Someone just like us.” Interrupted by the very personification of grief and regret. Then Vash seeing what happened with Tesla.

Yeah… yeah…

What do you think? How long did Knives and Vash stay in the room, staring at Tesla in terror? Vash looks dehydrated and starved… How long did it take for Rem to look for them and find them, much less retrieving them.

Separate Ways

I… wouldn’t call that weakness, Rem… I know the wording is meant to resemble a prayer… but… Weakness is me binging on a chocolate cake, weakness is falling back into a bad habit, weakness is lashing out at someone in pain, weakness is letting someone step over your boundaries because you are too afraid of rejection. Weaknesses are things that make us fallible, that make us be at odds with each other and that make us imperfect, but still loveable beings. Weakness is not cutting up and killing an innocent child in slow motion. That was a continued active decision to be horrible. They did not reflect upon their actions at all. 

“Forgive us in our weakness.” And Rem cannot ask for forgiveness for her colleagues. They aren’t the least affected by what they did, okay, Conrad. But asking for forgiveness is nothing you can do in proxy. And it should not be on the boys, too. They need to work through their pain and grief. The only person who could forgive is Tesla, but she is dead. Rem needs to work through her guilt herself, not that she is really good at it. Vash truly takes after her.

Oh, how the turn tables.

Vash goes full Knives. Understandable. Vash is the more cautious brother. Even then he was hopeful, it was always with Vash staying reserved and awaiting rejection. And with the last chapter of volume 6 in mind, his way of thinking gets constantly affirmed. Though the question is what changed from this little Vash to the adult Vash. Because adult Vash does not allow himself those thoughts, while he is rejected by humans most of the time. The thoughts are there, they make him and they make his behaviour. But he denies himself these at the same time, ignoring his feelings and hurts.

Vash going for the throat. Not unjustified, but still hot damn.

Rem was at least a bystander in Tesla’s death. Either she, Conrad or the both of them voiced the ethical questions, but it took 100 days until it was dire enough for it to be written in the report. But we don’t know for sure. Rem’s and Conrad’s involvement is kept in a pretty vague light. Maybe she even experimented on Tesla at the start? We can’t know. But we know it haunts her.

Interestingly, Rem’s grief is about herself. It is not entirely about Tesla, but her involvement in her death. It is about her not having enough power in any way to stop the crew. Adult Vash mimics Rem in this with his martyrdom. This whole situation of Rem’s guilt makes me think of the base ideas behind the Milgram-Experiment, Asch-conformity experiments and peer pressure, while the torture itself reminds me of the banality of evil. There are of course complicating factors here, like that in this situation there is no higher authority figure and we don’t get a code of behaviour, the isolation of the crew members and more.

I… pity Rem, I feel for her, HELL, I get how isolated she feels from her peers, how (from what we can gather) she was powerless to stop the torture. I feel the dilemma she was in, I feel for her. But at the same time I judge her for her words. While Vash is lashing out, he has points! How can he trust Rem right now? He knew of his otherness the whole time and now he was confronted with what happened to others like him. Rem hid that from him. Somewhat rightfully so with him being a child, but still… Vash does not know how she tried to stop this or if she tried to stop this at all! He doesn’t know her pain and this is not the moment in which it should be about her guilt. But she makes it about herself. Rem is there for them because of her guilt. She wants some kind of forgiveness for her being unable to protect Tesla. The twins cannot give her that. No one but herself can give her that. But having her guilt towering over their whole relationship makes it unhealthy and quite frankly Rem a bad role model. Rem hides herself from the twins, giving them an incomplete picture of a person to look up to. This lashing out from her is a rare occasion of showing her true self and I don’t believe adult Vash has a grip on the real Rem at all. He mirrors her, but he is unable to see that the role model he had is very unhealthy and ill.

In the end, Rem wants to do some kind of atonement for her involvement with Tesla (be it by being an active torturer, by being a bystander or being helpless to stop it) and she uses the twins to get it. I don’t think of her as a monster, but she was in no position to be a mother to the twins and it shows. She was an everywoman that got dealt a hand that was way beyond her abilities.

Peach! A peach is an interesting symbol. It can mean life and immortality. Considering the following scene starts with a peach and how impactful it was…

It is also interesting that they don't seem to talk really. Rem does not really open up there, she puts on a mask and tries to wittle down Vash to get him to eat. She doesn't help him through his pain like this. Ignoring the others position is not the way to help people.

Ugh, Vash sprouted the same thing to Wolfwood. It is so fucking judgemental. And like Vash’ similar lines in that talk (the other with the devil are total hits), these lines totally miss the mark. What about this is too light?! I know Rem says this, because she cannot help Vash with his trauma here. She wants to help Vash, she wants him to live and she is out of any helpful options. But those lines are so empty… It is the same with the typical depression sentences that people get: “Have you tried not being sad? You are just lazy. Other people have it worse than you.” They are voiced frustration, they are a cry of helplessness, but they are the opposite of helpful. They are without empathy. They deny validity to Vash’ feelings, they push them aside. And I hate that. Worse, these lines just make Vash’ mental state so much worse, which ends with this.

And this is the pivotal moment for Vash. He got his revenge. He got his anger out. And it is empty. Revenge is nothing, it leaves you a shell. His hurt clouded what and who he truly cares for. And now his action finally takes him out of his stasis. 

And that’s why adult Vash tries to not kill/hurt in anger. Because it leaves you empty, it doesn’t solve anything. The person you hurt is gone, but you are still hurt. He learned it the hard way. Rem is the example of people trying to change, if people who hurt you are doing better by you. And because she did it, everyone else has to be able to do that, too. (Well, everyone is able to change, but not everyone will change, but that is Vash’ fallacy here, not mine.)

Oh, Alex is finally mentioned. Rem was so deeply depressed. Look at all the alcohol bottles. Alcohol as coping mechanism runs in the family -_-

Rem has been depressed, her loss made her. She should be able to emphasise with Vash in his stupor. But if you are that deep in it… getting out of it needs to come from yourself. You need to be wanting to get better, you need to get help in therapy or with medicine or better both. She cannot force Vash to get better. She should have known. (Sorry, but that is something close to my heart, I am miffed at Rem here!)

I like and I don’t like the blank ticket. For once it symbolises that you can start anew at any time. You can choose where to go, your past does not bind you down. But… for some people it does. The blank ticket only works if you are unbound by responsibilities, by community, hell, by money. There are limits. And Vash never got to understand that. Rem wasn’t there to teach him. Well, she was. But the lesson did not stick. Because, yeah, her ticket was blank, but he chose her responsibilities to all the people. She chose to try and save as many people as possible. She could have jumped into the rescue pod and flee with Vash and Knives, but she didn't, because her responsibilities bound her to this place. And I don't feel Vash understands that.

Oh, he knows.

He looks so dopey, I get cuteness aggression.

But with the chapter title in mind, this is where Vash and Knives drift apart.

King of loneliness

Front page showing Vash and Wolfwood. Nice.

Okay, we finally get more info. Nothing about if Conrad and Rem were part of the experiments in the beginning, but at least now we know who started opposing. And, yes, it is the right thing to inform Knives. I still feel split about it, since they are a year old, they do not have the emotional maturity to handle it/Rem has not the abilities to handle child trauma, but then again they are able to understand so much more, would hiding really work? Let them make informed decisions and they get to.

Making my rounds back to Conrad. That is why he wanted to stay with Knives, even after betraying him. Because that was his kind of atonement. He feels guilty for being unable to help Tesla, he projects that onto Knives, too. I groaned at him betraying Knives that late, but it makes sense. Giving Knives a new body, trying to help him, he was acting out of his guilt. Still massively stupid and in complete denial, but there is some sense in it.

Because that’s healthy… Rem and Vash feel something is off about Knives, maybe more than just the shock about Tesla. But they trust him. And he shows emotions, he cries. While he isn’t his chipper self, there is the old Knives. But is it just a mask? I am not sure. Towards Rem, maybe not, but Vash gets some more sinister vibes.

*stares at adult Knives, who hides his fear behind aggression and anger* Yeah, fear is completely pointless… Sure… No way you are going down the rabbit whole of genocide right now.

Again, NIghtow’s brilliant display of two different emotions in one face. Fear, sadness and hurt vs. anger and madness. The current Knives takes over the small, fearful kid.

*stares* Much rational, so emotionless, no fear at all. I always laugh at this sentence. He is so far gone in this moment...

Porque No Los Dos?

Those numbers… make no sense. If 802 of 1.000 ships got destroyed, then there would be 60 Mil casualties and 20 Mil missing due to the ships being still lost. Or are the missing persons just the people who aren’t known to have died or have been lost after the initial crash?  And how many survived? We could at least take a shot in the dark and math an estimate of survivors..

Okay. 80 Million lost or death. Taking that the death toll and lost are both directly caused by ships lost/destroyed and not the aftermath. 

802 +124 ships gone. 

80M/926 would be people per ship. 

Thus 

80M/926*124

= People survived in emergency landings 

around 10.713.000 survived the initial crash.

We know much death and strife followed until humanity stopped stumbling that much. So, I assume that the population took another downfall and is now back to where it was.

Knives, you are able to reflect enough that you did an oopsie by killing your sisters, too. But you are unable to understand that fear hides behind your anger or that you abuse Vash… Man…

Knives is not completely wrong about his assumptions about humanity as a gross. But that makes it so difficult to get through to him. Yes, his sisters are exploited, but he is a big cause for this. Should humans just give up and die? And he ignores the blatant devotion the plant engineer showed, he ignores how many of his sisters are well taken care off. 

Did his sister truly merge of her own will? Or is it another moment of Knives ignoring others autonomy because he is so rational?

“And from that moment on, the world was plunged into chaos.” I… think it was chaotic before that… but yeah, rat in a corner-Knives is another level of deranged.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 4 (part1)

I am not late! You are just early!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

01: Count down

Ugh, Jessica and her weird puppy crush. I… just do not get it. It is creepy. Good on Vash having reinforcement.

This is a cute scene. Beyond being a used car salesman in the open, he is an awkward, but incredibly direct and honest person with people that are “close”. His curious question is kinda endearing. Good on tackling his assumptions about others in such a direct manner. And Brad accidentally digging his own grave by insulting Jessica by putting words into Wolfwood’s mouth is hilarious. I love how Wolfwood’s hair bristles visibly as the confrontation goes down. The ghibli-cat-shiver that Stampede WooWoo does seems to be Trimax canon, too! Let him bristle! It is cute!

Brad, Wolfwood is an orphan who lived with mere necessities and even less. He won’t criticise any grub he gets to eat. Free food is free food. 

Adding to that, this scene. Did I say that I love this homely feeling those scenes have? Just characters working off each other by their personality without stakes, but we get hella lot of character- and worldbuilding. 

Wolfwood is not a dumb person. Well, he is an idiot, but that is his behaviour, behind that is a very attentive, intelligent man. What he does not have is an education due to his upbringing. I think radio transmission is also done by satellite on No-Man’s-Land. (But I have to say that this may have been a line from a fanfic *coughs*) Anyway, the Great Fall led to a massive loss of technology and knowledge. The people of Home have the privilege of not trying to survive daily, of having resources to save the technology and use it. Outsiders haven’t. And I like the discrepancy between those two groups that is shown here.

I also love that Vash understands Wolfwood and that he kinda bullies the defensive baby into looking at the machinery. He meets Wolfwood at Wolfwood’s level. And that is just really a nice move.

Because it gets us there. The cynic has to deal with a new emotion growing. Hope. It really makes my heart ache. Wolfwood believes so thoroughly that he cannot be saved, but hopes so desperatedly that he can at least lessen the burden on the kiddos. Here he receives hope for ALL.

Wolfwood is bitter, but being a realist. He knows about the state of the world, it makes his whole being. And here he is with a bit of hope blooming in his chest begging God that he may keep it. That they may keep it. It shows Wolfwood being incredibly humble.

We next to never get to see Wolfwood really speak to God. His moral dilemma is exactly that, moral and ethical. There is no church in it. It is not about religion or belief. It is his own morals not something that was instilled into him from the outside. In ‘98 Wolfwood being a man of God is a running joke ‘til episode 23 in the church. Even in Trimax it kinda is. But here, in this quiet moment where Wolfwood watches his friends and with new hope blossoming, he has no other choice but to beg a higher power to grant them some grace. Because Wolfwood knows that his hope, the message reaching Earth and them getting an answer is completely out of his control. 

And it looks like his prayer gets answered.

The handshake is incredibly cute. Did they just invent it in the spur of the moment?

And damn, Luida reminiscending Doc. How she allows herself a moment of respite, but still is the responsible leader even in this.

I snorted at the Knives’ pic. Dude being grumpy. Someone needs to make Knives' "Did you just shoot me?!" face over this. Please. Vash feels Knives' power surging and a glass breaks. Why only that glass? O.O I know it is for the atmosphere of the scene, but lemme be nitpicky.

Knives that looks like really bad constipation and his fart cuts the planet in half. *inserts one punch man ok face*

Uh, biblical. Knives as archangel Michael with his sword, ready to cut Satan from the sky and weighing the souls on judgement day. GOD! I SLEPT BETWEEN CHAPTERS AND JUST REALISED! EYE OF MICHAEL! They are judges of humanity, so to speak, and the sword of the Lord. I think that is especially meaningful about their workings in Stampede, really.

It is interesting that Wolfwood’s prayer was answered with an affirmative sign, with real reasons for hope, but it is Knives who intervenes and destroys the hope again. It could be read as Knives interfering with God/Vash destroying the hope that Vash gifts to the sinner Wolfwood.

:/ Vash… Let Brad tell the others. You’re patronising again! I know people need hope and all, but you let them hope a lie just now. Let people decide for themselves, let them have the agency to do so!

I know he knows that I know that he knows that I know that he knows-Situation. Wolfwood inserting himself as Vash' companion. If Vash wants to or not. Buddy is along the way. He needs to.

But I like that Wolfwood already knew that Vash would run away again and awaited him. Considering that we know that Vash won’t zoom in on Knives and will get distracted again, this here reads less than “I need to deal with Knives!” but more like “Vash runs from connection again”. Does Wolfwood know about the satellites, too? Or does he still have his hope unaffected by Knives?

02: Killer Horn Blues

Hi, Hornfreak! You evil Wolfwood!

Hornfreak is interesting. In the chapter before Knives was shown like archangel michael, but now Hornfreak flips the image and makes Knives the devil. 

Also, the perfect pitch is a superpower!

Hoppered is so cute y-y. I love their banter.

Not gonna lie, Knives is extremely cute in this pic. I wanna squish his cheeks and tell him he's baby. Too bad he does evil supervillain poses on the next pages.

Hornfreak is much like Wolfwood. Their clothing style is similar but colours inverted, both are bitter, cynic realists, but while Hornfreak is mostly about his own gain and benefit, Wolfwood is selfless. We haven’t seen Wolfwood on the job, but considering his reaction to Keele, we can at least assume that Wolfwood does not go on killing sprees like this. I like how this little flashback stresses the differences between them, too. We don't see Wolfwood on killing missions, but Wolfwood killing innocents is just too out there. Midvalley is cruel and coldblooded. He doesn't care about human life at all.

… He looked into a mirror and practiced that. I JUST KNOW IT! This line makes me cringe so hard. Lol, I am Millions Knives, herpaderp, I collect knives. Hehehehehe. Not gonna lie, I would not survive a meeting with Knives. I would laugh at him. I'd die. Even if I was a useful knife for him.

The gun ho guns are Knives’ knives. I like the reminder that “Chapel” is part of them. It could be Wolfwood’s arm, too. But he is missing the cross cufflinks in Trimax. So it could be OG-Chapel. It would make sense, since Knives “collected” his knives personally and no one knew that Wolfie came instead since Knives was… uh… occupied with being… uh… in the womb at the fifth moon incident.

Hornfreak does not seem to suffer under being an assassin, he does not really care that he kills or who is killed by him, he cares for his own life. Hornfreaks focus is completely on the being that has him under “its” thumb, Knives. Like Wolfwood, Hornfreak is a guy between a rock and a hard place and both don’t kid themselves about what will happen to them as soon as Knives wins. But Midvalley is all about himself, while Wolfwood is about the orphanage and its future.

I pity Legato. Especially in this exchange. Here is this being that he devoted his whole existence to and it brushes his service and really his whole loyalty off like it means nothing at all. Legato is his main informant about how Knives’ machinations are working, he helps Knives as much as he can, hell, he even made sure that Knives has a body at all. And he is taken for granted! He is not even privy to such information like: “Yeah, well, change of plans. Chapel is now a babysitter for my little bro. Just letting you know! For reasons, too!” Knives cannot be bothered to spare Legato a crumb of attention or respect. Someone else said that Knives and Legato are Vash and Wolfwood just completely unhinged. I agree. I need to say something, but that goes into spoiler territory. Someone remind me in a few volumes to go into the similarities and the main difference.

I like how Knives does not even tell Legato Wolfwood’s real name or anything or that Wolfwood has tried to kill him. Nah, not important to him at all. All according to keikaku. (Newsflash, it is not going to keikaku at all, friend!)

Interesting, too, that Midvalley had the same reaction like Wolfwood had to Vash' "aura" at his first meeting with Knives. Fear. He knows that Knives is a monster, immediately and without a doubt. His friends on the other hand were unable to feel it and thus Knives cut them up when they showed aggression to Knives. 

Midvalley muses how easy it would be to kill Knives with a well timed toot. But instead he breaks down at the memory of Knives' killing his friends! He cannot do it. There is no option to fight even in theory. And the focus at the end of the scene onto Knives tells me at least that he is very aware that Midvalley listened in and thought about killing him. I am not sure, but it seems like he feels sad? Apathetic? Not completely sure. Like he reserved himself to believe that this is all that humans feel towards him. Selffulfilling prophecy, though… If Knives only shows himself as a monster, people treat him like one.

Counter this with these idiots and the humans treating Vash as an equal, an equal idiot. While Vash being not human is still unspoken, Wolfwood hints more and more at it that he knows and Vash shows a bit more of his inhuman senses to him. 

But then Milly and Meryl kick in the door and, damn, Meryl is fucking spiteful!

03: Bottom of the dark

And the spite continues! Meryl is livid that the guys just left them. But letting them nearly die is harsh.

You nearly killed your idiot friends out of revenge for them leaving, gurl! While I don’t like the extreme it went to for jokes, I like that it happened. I like that we get to see the insurance women being angry for being left behind. I would be, too. (Too many manga women get just sidelined by the dudes deciding: Things are too dangerous for our fragile, female friend. We go without them for their safety!) It is a constant rejection, really.  

Uh, 13th bride? Not the 13th wife? Oh… No… It got worse. And it started out bad with just the assault.

Thank you for showing us that the insurance women are fucking capable on their own! More of this, please!

I understand that Meryl may hate having to rely on a gun. But that is really the state of the world they live in. Even Vash as the glaring break of tradition has to carry one. I’d like to know more about Meryl’s relationship to that man. Is it her mentor? Her dad? When did she get the weapon from him?

“It may be small, but its power is sufficient” could be about the weapon, but it could also be read about Meryl as a whole.

EWEWEWEWEWEWEEWWWWWW! Zazie, body horror supreme!

How can it be that those two dumbos nearly died by drying up and are just up and on the go again?! As much as the vials were a last second addition, Wolfwood surely is not human if he is on his two feet again. I get Vash! We were shown that he has a supreme healing factor by his body pushing out a bullet as Eriks. But Wolfwood...

Who is saying the pain in the ass-part? I think it is Vash? 

I’d also be a bit stinky if I just nearly died because my companions were petty.

And Wolfwood is doing what I just criticised Vash often does… Deciding for others for their safety without informing them. Both boys are so good at this >:3 *cocks gun* Sure, I would not want to have my companions die, either, especially when they are not a fighting monster like I am… But fucking talk to them about it! Don't just do the ditcheridoo! Wolfwood being pissy about their “stunt” does read more like him putting on a front, to give a reason more to ditch them and keep their relationship at arm's length. He cares. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t care about them tagging along.

I’d say Wolfwood is more of a realist, considering what happened in Home. The guys are in danger and there are more crazy mofos coming after them. Meryl and Milly can take care of themselves with normal humans. Though, I don’t think Wolfwood is asking/reflecting himself. I take Wolfwood’s comment more about relieving his conscience if Vash agrees to the decision of ditching them. So he does not carry the burden of hurting them by leaving on his own.

It gives way for another thought for me. If they ditch the insurance women for their safety, why wouldn't Vash do the same for Wolfwood?

I… I don’t believe that. They get that people are trying to kill Vash. Milly gets much more, maybe. But I do not think Meryl does. It is not like Vash told her what and who he is in the cold chamber. Or why he is hunted down. Or by whom. This will bite him in the arse. So badly. And fuck Vash, he deserves the bite. But Meryl does not.

The gun ho guns have their own sandstreamer with a skull at the front. How loaded is Knives? I made a joke a bit ago that Vash would not be the wealthy twin even with his lifespan, because he lives hand to mouth, but Knives would go into stocks and become rich.

I love Hoppered’s and Midvalley’s talks. Hoppered gets him. He looks stupid, but he has Milly-attention. And damn, if Revenge does not forebond a tragic ending for Hoppered. But can they really say that they chose this path? Midvalley had to decide between dying then and dying on a mission, but he may get an opening out if he choses the latter. Hoppered, we will see. Revenge says that he has a personal vendetta against Vash and that makes his decision an active one and not one between pest and cholera.

But… how does Midvalley hop from: “I want out and survive!” To “Imma gonna kill Vash even though then Knives will hunt me down personally!” That… is counterproductive to Midvalley wanting to survive, really… I get Hoppered with his revenge, but I don’t get Midvalley. Why doesn’t he just up and leave now? I don’t think Hoppered would make him stay. The fight is senseless. And as soon as it commences, Midvalley’s options go from: Die or run to die and die.

And… why would Hoppered ask for Midvalley hiding his remains? Is it a request for a burial?

I don’t understand, either, Zazie. Oh, they meant that our protagonists have split, not whyever Midvalley agrees to kill Vash.

Milly hears something to distract her and Meryl gets yeeted by a fucking swarm of insects. I… I think I’d black out if a swarm of mosquitos snapped me away.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 6.2

Okay, okay... I shall take a tumblr-break until I finally catch up to the bookclub and finish the other two pieces for it. Mmmmmaybe... We'll see how strong my determination is

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

04: Death Omen

*looks at the frontpage, sees Knives* I mean, the title of the chapter is not untrue.

Auditory overstimulation… I feel you, Knives. (Never thought I would write that) But it gives you the feeling that Knives is so close to lashing out. When was the last time he was in such a mass of people? July? And current Knives is so much more unhinged than July-Knives, and even that dude was already off the handle.

Conrad, Conny. YOU have no right to be that stressed out. Knives being alive is YOUR fault. You gave him a new body. Hell, you are the reason that Vash unleashed the angel arm in the first place. 

Elendira… just there for the slaughter. Girl, I wanna dissect you. (affectionately)

Comparing to the other towns we have seen, this one looks really big! *looks how the chapter progresses* Oh… Oh NO! NIGHTOW!

Me, when I get to talk to someone about Trigun. I am the opposite of hinged.

And explanation why Vash was especially wanted for the murder of Vasquez. As a plant engineer he was pretty important for the continuation of the human race. At least this Conrad does not seem like… well… *stares at Stampede* *stares harder* Someday I'll make an OC that is German and kicks him in the nuts and asks him if he didn't learn anything from the past... Someday... *whispers*

*looks back to Trigun Ultimate 1* Yeah, 50 plants still seems a bit steep, but not that steep anymore. Also, ewewewewewew, that looks like they produce big pieces of chicken breast. Just imagine a fucking raw chicken breast plopping out of this cloaca-like apparatus

Does Knives reach out to hurt plants like Vash does? He seems to be in the city for his dying sister. That shows at least some kind of care for his kind, more than he has spared to Vash. Then again, Vash has the ability to say no. Knives cares for his sisters. I overread it in my first readthrough. They don’t have a voice and they don’t have a choice, but he cares for their physical wellbeing. That is more than I assumed. 

Well, at least Knives is okay with Conrad experimenting on him. Yay for Conrad having consent from ONE of the twins he experimented on? Weeee?

What is the timeline here? When did Conrad join Knives? He still looks like in his 30-40s. So he has to be 190 years old now? How? Knives got to Conrad before July and after parting from Vash. Why does Conrad realise that Knives is beyond sanity just now? Knives was a big player for the July-catastrophe. Conrad was there. If Conrad didn’t… make a new body for Knives, Knives would be gone. All of what happened since Jeneora Rock is partly Conrad’s fault and it starts to dawn on him just NOW?!

Whatever happened, the researcher holds the plants in high regard. He is grateful for her service. And he is right with pointing out that humanity’s situation forces them to exploit the plants. But they are also just delaying the inevitable. Less plants means more stress on the living plants, which leads to more plants dying. The only resource for anything is plants. Humanity is on their last legs. Then again, could the plants even survive without the humans? It is a symbiosis that has lost its balance.

How has Knives never heard of last runs before? Like, dude, you feel when your sister is in bad shape. WTF?!

Does Conrad know that Knives caused the Great Fall? Knives is one of the main reasons WHY his sisters are exploited. He is one of the main reasons that humanity lost so much knowledge and technology that they do not know how to care for his sisters. There is nothing to forgive. Knives has to eat the bitter consequences of his actions. Not that he is able to.

YOU COULD HAVE JUST NOT GIVEN HIM A NEW BODY?! With that in mind, this whole betrayal just falls so flat for me. 

But like Rem, Conrad is dealing with regrets. That’s why he wants Knives to have a normal life. That’s why he offers to stay with him, in a way sacrificing himself to Knives. This Conrad here is a much softer man than the Stampede Conrad ever was. This does not absolve him from anything. But this man at least tries to take some responsibility for his actions and how they affect others. Something, something, repentance/atonement. Well, except for Vash. Conrad says “Fuck Vash”

Knives cares about Vash. It is twisted love. He doesn’t care for Vash as a person, but there is some care in him. He doesn’t want his brother to die. He wants his brother to shut up and run after him like a mindless drone, praising Knives and thus erasing his insecurities.

Yeah, not gonna lie, this chapter really was death omen like...

05: Colourless Expression

And the frontpage shows Vash smiling. Man…

Milly is so good with kids! So cute!

But the content is also important. Too much colours causes everything to become grey, too many things happening, cause even the strongest person to break.

I love the page. Vash does his best to keep up his facade, but he is starting to crack. His companions start to realise this. They see his depression.

I kinda wanted Wolfwood to preach in the church. Gimme more priestwood. q-q For having faith, hope and guilt such an important part of his character, we do not get much of it.

Going to church to receive some kind of forgiveness. But christianity is more about guilt and sin than true forgiveness, at least how it is preached. The only person who can forgive Vash is Vash himself. But he has been a martyr his whole life, he will never forgive himself. Loss, guilt and punishment makes him. The scars on his body are there for that very reason. Vash even tries to atone for things he didn’t cause, like losing Rem. And now one important detail was ripped from him, the detail that made him different from Knives. Having killed in anger, be it by pointing the gun towards Knives while losing control or actively shooting Knives and losing the whole of July as consequence.

And the next page counters Vash’ true face with the face on the wanted poster, the face he uses for people around him. That’s harsh.

Is that Ozzy Osbourne?!

And ruined meal Nr.4. Let WooWoo eat in peace! Though, his annoyed faces bring me life. I giggled like a little girl at this. This is one of my favourite scenes. Let this guy have some peace, please. (I will come to regret this sentence.)

Thank you! I am terrified. This is sinister.

Alcohol! 

Vash is pretty dependent on alcohol and this scene drives it home. Vash is seen sleeping drunkenly more than once. We see him eat alone with a full bottle of high percentage alcohol next to him. Heck I went through the volumes, even in the first chapter at his introduction he ate with a full bottle of high percentage alcohol next to him. And there are more than a few panels of those meals. There is one scene in the first town, where Vash fakes being drunk. So it is open to interpretation if he reaches his breaking point in this volume and his coping habit becomes dangerous or if he has been dependent on alcohol before remembering July. But Vash can become drunk and he has not the ability to sober up by plant biology. He becomes sloppy. If not his senses/reaction time, then at least his control over his plant powers. Like we see soon.

Wolfwood… We don’t see him drink as much as Vash. Or *I just went through the volumes* We don’t see him drink over excess at all. *stares at ‘98 Wolfwood* You are the reason why I think he drinks overly excessive, too! There is one scene where he has a beer can at his side when eating. Then the second nightmare scene, where he did not even open the bottle, though the shot glass was filled. And he does not open it even after leaving the pub. Begs the question, why? Does he use alcohol purely to socialise with others? Or is he too aware of him having less control over his body/himself when he is drunk and is scared of losing that control?

Everything becomes grey. Vash is unable to see anything good right now. He only sees his pain and how nothing makes it better. The old granny has no reason to forgive him. But he doesn’t need her forgiveness either. But Vash is not there, he may never be there.

But Vash, honey, you look like this to others, because you constantly mask like this. Even your friends aren't wiser than the common folk. If you bottle everything up and swallow everything, no one knows what you really look like, no one will see your pain or help you address it. Meryl wants to help you, but you blocked her off, as you did with Wolfwood and surely did with Milly. This is a hell of your own making (not considering the random people but Vash' personal relationships)

And then the loudspeakers bring all back down to Knives. Knives is the reason for Vash’ pain. And Vash is less and less able to avoid him. He has to confront him soon. But all is grey.

I don’t get that scene. That can’t be Vash that shoots. Is it Wolfwood? Is that why he is angry? Because he has to jump in for Vash again?

And there it is. Maximum grey, Vash at a lowpoint. (Don’t worry, that’s not the lowest :3) Sloppy due to being drunk and being unable to control his power. Though it saves his life.

As much as Vash is latently suicidal, I do not think he only shudders because of the uncontrolled outburst of power.

He is also scared of himself. Meryl, too. Not only Vash reaches his low point, Meryl reaches her breaking point, too. And I can totally feel with her. Wolfwood tried to talk to her, but it was about saving her hide not about what she lived through. Milly is there for her, but I did not see them talking or reflect upon what happened. And Vash? As if. Meryl is alone with her pain like Vash. She is rightfully afraid and now her body forces her to start and take her own mental health seriously. And rightfully so, til this point she was about Vash and his pain. But her pain is right there and rightfully so!

That’s how group mentality works. No one is interested in the truth. No one cares about Vash. He is just othered.

Just ouch. At least Wolfwood tries to comfort Vash? In his very... Wolfwood-way?

06: Seeds voyaging to the stars, a world inside a pot

Oh, it is flashback time. I hope we get something to smile about.

Yeah, Elendira is right. Now Knives is a rat in a corner. Those are dangerous.

Just, damn, girl. Elendira is the kind of nihilist that is like: The world burns and I make smores. She has no real care for others, she is not affected by the end of humanity, this is a game for her to watch. If humanity survives or not, she doesn't care, she just wants it to be interesting.

I didn’t get that it was such a clean cut that it reflects like a mirror the first time reading this.

There are so many bulbs of plants left, just sitting there. Considering their importance, why is no one recovering them? Eh, most likely Vash and Wolfwood were there too quickly for the scavengers to have made their presence known.

Former street kid Wolfwood knows grifters and has no patience for their money grabbing nonsense.

Does Vash realise that the echo represents Conrad? Or is it just a random dude that his brother angrily kills in front of him? But Vash immediately connects their sisters death to Tesla.

Is that Rem talking or one of the twins? But anyway. “Mood”, says the formerly autistic child that learned facial expression due to Sailor Moon.

I… dunno. Vash is so very aware that he is not Rem’s kid, that he is different. He is distanced even from Rem. This is not a mother-child relationship at all. More like weird roommates that you try to teach being responsible people at the same time. 

Vash is thankful for Rem’s care, but his thanks reads so much like he assumes she will reject them every second, like he is that different. (So accidentally autism coded.)

Rem did so much in that year. She was truly thrown into a situation that no one could prepare her for and the twins… She was not ready for this.

Vash is so aware of their differences to humans. He is so distanced from everyone. And here is Knives, cute, naive and hopeful. Makes me sad

And that’s why you need parental advisory. No kid should watch these kind of things! The little fears and doubts Knives has get just blown out of prorpotion like this. He is left alone, thinking, and that never ends well with someone anxious.

Oh, hindsight is 20/20. Knives looks sus, but only if you know.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 6

Skittles after the bookclub. SOON! I... need... to... catch... up. Soupy brain, do not leave me!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

1. The gunslinger

Aw, and it starts with Meryl having a nightmare. It was much for her. Not only did she have to confront Vash’ inhumanity in theory, but in practice, too. And that left marks. Btw @/pancake-breakfast was right, Zazie described the independent plants as bystanders, not themself.

The sheriff is such a nice guy :3 NOT! Ramming the door into Vash and not even apologising. I leave his talk with Marlon in the open, because we do not know either of them, maybe there is something behind it.

Yay, Wolfwood gets to eat in peace! Jokes aside, I take sharing food and such is one of Wolfwood’s love languages. He cares for other people. And Meryl is hit really hard with the downs. Depressive symptoms as a response to a trauma aren’t that unheard of. And she has dreams and flashbacks, too. It really hit her hard. ‘Til the dragon’s nest district, Meryl could ignore the whole Vash being nonhuman and the trouble that follows him and be innocently interested in him, now the reality hit her hard.

Wolfwood is just peak idiot. How come I remember him as this suave liar, when the only reason that people don’t know stuff around him is that they don’t pin him down. If he’d be more obvious, he’d be spelling stuff out. Heck, he is doing eurythmics the whole time. (It is the sunglasses and the suit…)

Also, Woowoo is wearing his sunglasses again. I just found something interesting today about sunglasses and Japan. *lemme find the link* Japanese people use the eyes to see what the other person is thinking, while westerners are more likely to get the info due to the mouth. I remember reading somewhere else, too, as a reason why the eyes in manga are often drawn so big compared to western media, because emotion is mostly told via the eyes.

And Wolfwood goes back to his roots of pushing people away for their own safety. He is not completely wrong and at least he talks to Meryl about it. Though, it can be read as a low blow that he mentions Milly. Because Meryl has someone she is responsible for! It is not just about herself. That’s something Wolfwood can relate to, but for him it forces him to stay. Would Wolfwood stay if he didn’t have to? If he could be sure that his orphanage and the planet would stay safe? I don’t know. 

There is no real right or wrong here, but damn, they should include Milly in the talk, too! Babysteps. But at least now Meryl truly thinks about the danger she gets herself and Milly into. And that is important. Until now her decision to find and follow Vash was filled somewhat by naivete and ignoring the glaring danger signs around him. She got a reality check. While Vash is not evil, trouble follows him and it has hurt her now, too! It has hurt Milly. But what she does with the new outlook is her own decision! Wolfwood came to the conclusion that he needs to talk to the women on an equal level to get his point about saving yourself across. And he does so. FINALLY!

Alcohol as a means to cope with something. Something is eating good ol’ Marlon up. And it is the basis for his behaviour and why he despises that shooty-mc-tooty-sheriff.

Do you, sheriff? Do you keep the town safe? Or is it more your power fantasy. Eny green is an ugly colour. Manga is so much about show, don’t tell. And damn, we haven’t been shown anything about you protecting anyone. 

I love how Meryl listens in and just immediately knows who the broom headed bastard is! Her reaction is cute! More of it! Vash truly is a trouble magnet!

“Consider guns delicate.” Vash is a gun. 

Meryl knows the fear that comes with shooting someone. She wasn’t spared of the danger of this world. She had to protect herself in the past. And her reaction is just human. But what is moreso, her reminiscence is a way for her to feel sympathy for Vash. How must he feel with that gun of his, that was fired against his will/he fired with consequences he didn’t want, not only shooting but killing so many people. Meryl collapsed after one shot. (I’d be down, too, gurl.) I am not even sure if she killed her opponent. So she finds some understanding for Vash as a person. She finally starts to understand WHY he is the way he is. He is starting to become more than an interesting enigma.

Uh, nice that the evil guys want to rob the town for money to pay for their food and drinks. Down with the banks! Money to the small business owners!

Vash fires with his right arm. The arm that is the angel arm. I read it as Vash punishing himself, but also fighting to regain control over himself and his body. He “tames” his firepower into the gun he choses. He takes back control.

Such a nice responsible sheriff, keeping the town safe. :3 By attacking random dudes in the middle of the day.

I… can hear Brandon’s voice in my head. It is gorgeous. ;3

But, yeah, that’s kinda what it boils down to. Guns in and of itself aren’t pure evil. In experienced hands they can be used to protect, to feed people, hell, they can even be a sport. But they are also an idol for (masculine) power. And that attracts the kind of people that aren’t responsible enough to own a gun. Murdock is the kind of guy that would pull out his special made Marlon-Gun and accidentally shot someone. And that's why he doesn't deserve it.

I don’t see the problem here. That is Germany every new year’s eve.

Vash… VASH?! Are you sure it is a good move to abuse Wolfwood’s mistress and throw her aside afterwards?! 

It kinda boils down to firepower on No-Man’s-Land. Would Vash even own a gun if he didn’t have to?

And poor Meryl. Her thoughts are purely about Vash, even after her flashbacks and her nightmares.

Is it, though? Vash’s pistol is as much a prosthetic as his left arm is. It isn’t his true power, it is far from it, but he is still able to act with it. Especially without worrying that he might accidentally kill someone. (However stupid that sounds)

Also, it?! The Punisher is a classy lady! To call her "It", the audacity! Next he calls Angelina II an it.

Yeah, sorry, Vash. Don’t take the emotional support machine gun cross from a priest. That never ends well.

2. Double team

I love this pic. 

I am not entirely sure, but is Wolfwood sitting on explosives/gasoline? Because this kinda summarises Wolfwood’s situation. Can you truly relax while waiting for the bomb under your arse to explode?

Like he said in the chapter before! Tickin’ time bomb he is sitting on! Wolfwood is putting his life at risk and he knows it. He is just waiting for it to go off.

Wolfwood is in the darkness, looking into the light, the innocent, pure thing he protects by throwing himself into the darkness. From the positioning we could even think that Chapel is truly in the darkness and Wolfwood stands between Chapel and the orphanage. (I don’t think that Nightow wanted to say this, but as a European this reads very much: Church is dangerous for kids.)

Uh, remember that pic with the line up of the gun-ho-guns? 

From Trigun Maximum 4 Chapter: Killer Horn Blues. 

This isn’t Wolfy, this is the OG-Chapel. But that reads for me that it was an atmospheric line-up, since the other gun-ho-guns would have called Wolfwood out for being very not Chapel. Or they truly did not care, which… I do not think is that unwarranted of a thought?

And the Damocles’ sword is still hanging over Wolfwood’s head. He was able to protect the kid’s from one danger - Chapel/Church -  but the other danger, the danger that awaited Wolfwood behind Chapel still prevails. Not only that, it is much more dangerous than Chapel himself. Wolfwood is ready to disappear from their lives to keep them safe, but whatever he does it is not enough. And he still tries under constant fear of failure, he confronts the danger. He is the orphanage’s protector, their last and only bastion.

And like always, Wolfwood’s nightmares are interrupted by sillies. But damn, I love his little: Fuck, I am in so much pain-face. I’ll keep the alcohol thingy for later in this volume.

I know in the panels between Wolfwood put a cigarette in his mouth. But I read it as appearing randomly to make him look cooler in this little confrontation.

But we get that next to no one of the Gun-Ho-Guns knows that Wolfwood is, well, Wolfwood. I mean, while Midvalley wasn’t surprised, it was Milly that spelled out Wolfwood’s true identity to him. And Knives… Didn’t even deem it important enough to tell Legato about the change of plans, why would he bother to share such a little detail about Wolfy? And as much as Knives does not really care for Legato’s position, he does not care for Wolfwood’s, either. Knives is mocking him. Wolfwood is his plaything. Nothing Wolfwood does truly matters. But it is a nice ego boost for Knives that Wolfwood is too “scared” to act against Knives’ wishes. Wolfwood knows, Zazie knows. Add insult to injury, even Zazie mocks Wolfwood about his stuck between a rock and a hard place position. Wolfwood doesn’t work for Knives of his free will, he knows what Knives’ plans are. It goes against everything Wolfwood cares for. Again, an I know, they know-situation. And Wolfwood does not lie to Zazie, he stops talking to them.

Namedrop: Eye of Michael! The church/cult Wolfwood is part of. Doesn’t sound like something normal, but the catholics have a way with weird names. Interestingly, why eye? Michael is known for his sword, for throwing Satan from heaven. Wouldn't the Sword/Arm of Michael be more fitting, especially since killing seems part of the cult? I mean, Wolfwood being an assassin AND a priest and learning stuff at the same time from different sources would be pretty weird. Michael is the patron of soldiers and honestly, what else is Wolfwood if not that? But back to the Eye-part. He keeps track of the actions and sins of humans, judges them when they die and is the judge on the Last Day. That would be more fitting for the eye part. (And not gonna lie, Wolfy is judgy, even if he means well/projects his insecurities hard.) 

And another thing, Wolfwood has uncanny senses. Not Vash’ level, but they are definitely not human.

OOF! Big faux pax, Zazie. No one wants to be compared to Legato. *starts to write a comparison for this in a few volumes* *coughs*

What exactly is that plant aura stuff? Vash accidentally uses it when Home happened and it seemed like he was projecting his inner grief outwards. But Knives does not seem scared here. Which begs the question what is happening here? Is Knives able to project what he wants because he has more control over his plantiness? Or is Knives truly scared but Wolfwood’s own memory is distorted since he was affected by the projection? Or a secret third thing, like plants constantly emit such feelings of uncanniness due to their power and it takes experience to suppress it and Knives just does not care to do so? I think @/needle-noggins had an interesting theory about that, but I really do not know. This is too wishy-washy for me. :C

Vash, the weapon of mass destruction. The hole in the moon as a reminder. Not only that, the hole in the moon is Wolfwood’s first experience with Vash’ inhumanity. Can even a well-meaning weapon of mass destruction cause something other than the aforementioned mass-destruction? 

I love how Nightow sometimes draws a face with two different emotions. Vash is so sad and also incredibly peaceful at the same time. Is he sad for another betrayal? Or does he feel with Wolfwood who is in emotional turmoil right now? Is he peaceful because he trusts Wolfwood not to shoot? Or that he accepts his death at Wolfwood’s hand? After splitting the face up, I am at least sure of one thing. Vash is aware, but he would not dodge. Not for the position Wolfwood starts to take in Vash’ life, but that may part of it, Vash has just remembered July and he is not coping at all.

For fuck’s sake, don’t avoid talking to each other! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Just MOOD. That was me today when I put something away and caused a chain reaction that made a selfmade bowl land on my foot and then shatter.

Is… is he called Godot because they waited for him?

Not only that, guys… So much about the play is about waiting and not acting on your own impulse. Both Wolfwood and Vash are waiting for the other to take a step, to talk about it, about Knives, about everything! But both are doing nothing on their own. They hint or do verbal eurhythmics like Wolfwood, but in the end it boils down to the other acting on the hints. They wait for the other, but the other never comes. From their perspective, they are the people waiting for Godot, but they are each other's Godot at the same time. Godot never comes. The play “Waiting for Godot” ends with the people continuing to wait for Godot. This is an omen and it hurts me so muhuhuhuhuhuch. Or it is not an omen, since what follows is the fight scene where they get each other without talking and, well, Godot literally came.

This page. It kinda drives home WHO Wolfwood truly is. We already had a taste in the Midvalley fight, when Wolfwood used the cross to protect Milly. But the scene was used to stress how inhuman Wolfwood’s abilities are. Yes, Nightow also put focus on Wolfwood shielding Milly, but what Midvalley got from it was that even blinded and hurt, Wolfwood is aware of everyone’s position. Here, the cross that we saw used mostly as a weapon is used for what Wolfwood truly wants. Wolfwood doesn’t want to kill or hurt people. He is all about protecting close ones. While especially the orphanage, it does not count out other people he considers close or important.

Chekhov's table!

How can you not love this? They are so very aware of their different strengths and how to use them effectively. Are they in sync? I think they are starting to get there. Both are very aware where people are positioned and both know that the other can do their task successfully. The realisation that they were in sync dawned, I think at least Wolfwood, afterwards.

But IS Vash aware of Wolfwood’s inner struggles? He looks confused here. Does Vash understand how other people perceive their surroundings? How they did something not very human right now?

I think it is cute that Wolfwood calls himself by his forename here. Though the whole people calling Wolfwood Wolfwood may be because of the difference between Japanese and English? Japanese people use the surname to talk to people they don’t know well. The forename is for close friends, if I recall it correctly. But that is something, someone with more understanding of the different culture should look into!

With many siblings you learn to sleep tight! Poor Meryl, another night not slept well.

3. CrossxAssassins

Legato, you really do not understand how much Knives revolves around Vash. 

But yeah, Legato started to go crazy after Knives squished him. Big surprise. Legato built himself a world where only he would gain Knives’ attention and then it was utterly squished by Knives himself. But he cannot fault Knives for that, since Knives is perfect. So Vash is the problem. And the other GUn-Ho-Guns are lesser than him. But did Legato not get a number because he is so much better or because he does not even count? Or maybe he is irreplaceable? 

That’s what you get for working with suicidal men, Elendira!

But jokes aside, I want to know more about Elendira. We do not even get bits! Is she jealous because Legato seems closer to Knives? Close enough to be numberless? What is her relation to Knives? He deems her trustworthy, that’s for sure. And she isn’t miffed for not getting the whole picture like Legato who is slowly breaking apart from it.

If Legato was truly so devoted, he wouldn’t stray from his idol’s path. But here he is, deeming people worthy and unworthy and using Knives’ army for his very own gain. Legato’s devotion devolved into an obsession. He thinks he knows better what Knives wants than Knives himself. (And ironically, both are wrong!)

Motherfucking evil Didney queen bitch arse castle!

Vials? Vials! Also, I FINALLY GOT WHO THIS CLAMP-MF REMINDS ME OFF! Suzaku Kururugi from Code Geass. Now I can rest.

Such a healthy mindset!

I… laughed tears. He just goes BOOMF! But his head... His head is so tiny!

So, the Eye of Michael is Knives’ personal cult and bootlickers. No wonder the guy has an inflated ego, if he has a whole cult devoted to him. Neither Vash nor their sisters have them around, so it is Knives' cult, not a plant cult.

I love how the chapter hints that Clamp-boy and… cowboy-devil are the missing EoMs, but then JINKS! NOPE!

IS THERE ANYTHING NORMAL ABOUT LEGATO?! This reminds me so much of that one dude in HunterxHunter.

But, yeah, nice of you to store your weird little play coins in your mouth! I’d love to take them from your tongue and stash them in my belongings for your little private death game.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 2 Part 1

Time to dive into Vol. 2. (weeks to late, but I get there!)

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

Also, why does Nightow has the Shojo-Style from the 80s down to the t? 

01: The return of the blue wind of death

Is he a prisoner that exchanges his imprisonment time for this task? Does he really think that he would work for his whole sentence of 830 years? It looks like the life expectancy is like 50 years max on No-Man’s-Land, with exceptions of course. So many young and middle aged men, but not very many old ones sitting in the pubs. Many children, many orphans and not enough people to take care of them. Those who get older seem to be in the crafts, like… uh… the shoemaker that was killed by Legato… Yeah…

The uniform reminds me of something… gimme a minute…

Ah! Fitting for a “western” the government dudes are dressed in the get-up from the US.Army from the American war. Wasn’t sure which side, but it is the U.S Army side, so they are at least not evil coded. 😀 Looks like something between a Sergeant, a Major or a Captain. But we shall never know which rank he has exactly. But the look fits with the whole genre!

Ah! Yaoi man! I know him! When I found the silly figurine on amazon I thought its head was too small… But I think I stand corrected.

But isn’t he -designwise- like a counterpart to Wolfwood? Hair gelled back, a white, immaculate suit, contrasting Wolfwood’s design of messy hair and a black suit, but they have the same tendency to not fully button the suit jacket up. Another thing, that we see later in the chapter, is a sense of selfpreservation that both share. Though the reason behind it seems different. Wolfwood needs to survive for his purpose, the protection of the orphanage, while Hornfreak just has a normal, human survival instinct. He may actually like being alive, even with being a killer.

The whole fight is interesting. Why did the commander send his men there? What happened? The owner of the property is not in town, so why is he even interested in that place? What does the occupation mean? How did they know? Then Hoppered warning the men about Legato and asking them to save themselves, which makes me ask if the army has any ulterior motives here.

Hooboy, Nightow knows when the reader's imagination is worse than whatever he can draw. We know what happens in the truck… We can imagine that… Not showing it makes it so much worse…

I love how we, the readers, see the impending danger to Home. We get to see the puppet fly, we get to connect the dots. Everyone else is unknowing. We already experience the tension, the foreboding. Which makes Vash staying away from Home so much more sad. He doesn’t allow himself to be welcome and feeling safe, because he knows he is hunted down. It still won’t keep his close ones safe.

02: Resume our Business

No way anyone forces Legato to eat like this! Legato is having a fucking pity party and punishes himself, because Knives was mad at him for trying to kill his brother. He does this to himself. He revels in the punishment. It is a theatrical play of how much he idolises Knives. And it is scary.

Hoppered being the sensible one. Dude, you seem so nice, what are you doing with those people!

Yeah, something snapped in Legato, when Knives punished him. Knives is such a fucking tyrant. “Hey, I punish you violently and over the top for wanting to fulfil my wishes, because I, without communicating it, changed my mind! And that is your mistake.” And Legato has to believe that, because if not it would mean his whole idolisation is wrong and that would destroy this man’s self. I pity him. Knives needs someone who stands up to his bullshit and Legato needs someone who actually cares about him. Both make each other worse!

And… while I like Hornfreak’s speech… As an assassin you don’t give a whole speech that announces that you want to kill your target! Especially since you know he has some kind of power, too! *headdesk* Well, get bretzel’d.

I think it is interesting how he starts by trying to connect to his other gun-ho-guns, but then turns around and distances himself from them by calling them “Maniacal killers”! He gives a whole speech to give reason to his betrayal and excuse it.

BDSM-Knives return! I think revenantghost already said this, but… Knives, if you are the reason people hunt Vash down… It is not the human’s fault that Vash suffers… Knives is fucking delusional... And selfreflection? Never heard of her!

Legato says: “That is his will. And it shall be done.”

And it reads like a fucking quote from the bible.

Acts “And since he would not be persuaded, we fell silent, remarking, “The will of the Lord be done!””

James “Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.””

Legato is idolising Knives so hard, he makes him his God.

And to counter this unhealthy behaviour, we have the dumbasses on the next page. Especially Wolfwood treating Vash like an equal human being. I love this whole skit! 

Vash, you had your whole 150 years to learn how to drive anything! How did you survive, walking miles upon miles between the cities under the sun’s heat? You were run out of them so often! How did you get away quickly?

Liar by omission? Wolfwood? Nah! Liar by avoidance! He really just needs someone who does not stop asking and he would break down. But Vash does not do that. No one does!

Well, Rai-Dei literally spelled out that Wolfwood is part of the Gun-Ho-Guns, no denying that. They know each other, Rai-Dei says loudly that Wolfwood is “planning” something. And Wolfwood looks just so conflicted, maybe even near tears?

I am confused what Rai-Dei means by Vash’s “selfish ways”. Is it based on his bushido? The morals of the bushido changed with the eras, like there are different types. Some say to retreat from an unwinnable battle, while others say to stay until your death.

And Wolfwood, you know this guy! I am sure you already know that he is using a fucking blade against guns and fared splendidly enough to become a Gun-Ho-Gun… Wolfwood in this fight feels like fucking Speedwagon.

*snorts* Wolfwood tagging out and Vash calling him a “Demon Priest”. Peak comedy for me!

I love the change from the silliness to dark seriousness, when Rai-Dei nonchalantly tells Vash that they are about to invade his home. I also think it is interesting, how Nightow then pans to Wolfwood, dark-eyed and serious, as if he just made up his mind about something. Most likely that he is not okay with innocents being killed just so Vash feels bad. Again a contrast to Keele, who was willing to kill a random woman so he gets to Vash.

And again, Vash is put into a trolley problem. Kill Rai-Dei to move to Home faster and maybe rescue more of his close people or waste time to keep Rai-Dei alive, but risk losing close people. For many people, it would be an easy decision (if you call killing someone easy), but Vash needs to save every person. If everyone is family and thus equally important, no one is. Rai-Dei literally tells him that he came here to die, but Vash cannot accept that.

03: Samurai Showdown

And while Vash hesitates, Wolfwood deems Vash’s home as important enough to interfere and to get ready to fight Rai-Dei. He hides himself behind his sunglasses, but still gets spotted. And I like that about Wolfwood, that he is able to decide for himself who he is ready to protect and how far he is willing to go.

Damn, Rai-Dei just called Vash not human. Together with his weird fixation on the fight, he comes off as a weird monster hunter. Poor Vash.

Are you talking about them or about yourself, Wolfwood? Wolfwood's selfhate is on the platter here.

I know it is Vash’s ideals, but that he stalls and takes so much time to “Make Rai-Dei cast away his sword” while the people he calls his family are in danger, always reads as so cold, like he has no real connection to them. Like I said, if everyone is important, no one is.

Why is Wolfwood so weirdly fixated that guns are better than swords? Why is he so offended by this? This whole shout feels so out of the place! I stay by my stance that in the two years Rai-Dei talked Wolfwood’s ear off about how much better katanas are and how much more graceful and yadayada and Wolfwood was just so close to ending him after like five hours of that.

04: Wolfwood

Oh, fuck. It goes down! That front page?! Four being the unlucky number connected with death. Wolfwood holding onto the punisher, that reaches out of the panel, but also wraps kinda around him. The way he crumbles the cigarette package in his hand and his forlorn, bitter look on his face, away from us and staring at something off the screen. Chef’s kiss. I hate it *thumbs up*

It looks like a memory of the past. An impression that Wolfwood left after they have already parted ways. He looks so incredibly lonely and burdened here. And at the same time, a shield to somebody.

Hand on the trigger! 

God, this page. The contrast to the wild action the page before, the weird, blurred lines surrounding Wolfwood, Vash, Rai-Dei’s end and Wolfwood’s cold stare with pinprick eyes. It gives you a feeling how quickly everything went down. 

I’ve thought about Rai-Dei’s train of thought. Surely, there is the whole: “I cannot start anew! All the time I’ve used to become this! The sins I’ve committed!” But… it feels more like him acting upon his way of the warrior. If you cannot win the fight, you die in it. Kinda like a version of seppukku or kamikaze, which all kinda rounds back to bushido and societal standards. 

I am sorry, what does that even mean?! The blade is still in its original position? What? No, he took the sword, wrapped his finger around the trigger and was about to thrust it into Vash’s back. This always reads for me as Vash in denial.  Why wouldn’t he have pulled the trigger? I feel like I am too dumb to understand this panel.

This may be a controversial take, but hear me out. Vash’s recurring modus operandi! He gives other people all the agency to act as they like and he reacts to them. Is this a way to unconsciously have no real responsibility for the outcome? It puts him apart from every normal human and puts him more into the position of a mightier being. And, damn, at the same time this must sound completely naive and away from any kind of sound mind to Wolfwood. It is a way of life that is possible only if you have no connection to other people! As long no one cares about him, he can do as he pleases with his own health. But here he is confronted with somebody who cares enough that he killed for Vash and because of Vash’s denial of action. Vash could act in the past as he liked, because he didn’t share his path with someone who cares for him! But now, if he gives all his agency away, not only his opponent may act as he wishes, his partners may also act upon their wishes. Wolfwood’s wish was to save Vash! And I understand why Wolfwood may feel like the deed was pushed onto him by Vash.

Wolfwood hates his way of life and he judges himself harshly. It defines his whole being. At the same time he is in a position of no real agency. To protect the orphanage and survive himself as a former orphan, he needed the power that his position brings. Like we all said, a man between a rock and a hard place. He calls himself a devil! You can’t put yourself down more, especially as a priest. I get that Wolfwood does not really expect Vash to shoot, that he acts out of anger here. But damn, this is a cry for punishment, something, some human reaction from Vash. And Wolfwood does not get it.

I love the detail of Vash having his finger pointedly away from the trigger. 

And while I get that Vash does see Wolfwood for who he really is and not for what kind of front he puts up, this is not the time to put him down a peg. The man just killed someone for Vash, he is hurt like fuck and is lashing out. And what Vash says comes off as pity and judging. It is Vash not understanding humans and especially Wolfwood at all through the lens of his ideals. Which is so fucking weird when he is at the same time spot on about Wolfwood’s inner workings! He goes like half the way and then just stops. There is no follow up from Vash to find the reason why Wolfwood is so determined to play the devil or why his heart cries out. And that is a very big flaw in Vash and how he interacts with people. He gives people all the agency to control the furthering of their relationship (until he runs away). The problem is Wolfwood never learned to open up, from what we can tell, he never was in a space safe enough to learn that. Wolfwood is self reliant to a fault, because he had to. Both of their flaws and past makes it impossible right now for them to understand each other. And that makes me just sad. Wolfwood does so much to understand Vash and Vash stays still.

Thanks, I’ll take that for my nightmares.

Girls, I love you, but you had him! You had him already! But you chose to use all of your vacation days and let him go! 

This whole scene reads so weird, like Keele did not happen. XD I love how especially Milly are like: Yep, we’re friends! And I love how they include Wolfwood, even though they seem to have forgotten his name. Guy left an impression, at least.

Damn, Meryl must be squished with the guy kinda climbing out the window from behind her! But good from her to ask Jessie to check the wreckage out! Saving people is always the right thing to do!

The girl is calling out for Vash. Is she the one with the puppy crush? But calling out for him when your literal ship fell from the sky is weird. I feel for Brad.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 5 Part 1

Slowly I stalk my prey (catching up to the current week of the trigunbookclub) and slowly I am gaining ground.

So many good Wolfwood panels!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

01: The city and then the feast of hounds

Kids really know how to spot prey. Vash is the kiddos’ prey.

Apples? Yeah, apples of enlightenment to be… Vash being part of a little kid’s gang is cute. And they are loitering, but helping their elders. Aw. :3 This will end in tears, I know it.

There was a time when Vash felt safe enough to have something kinda steady! Even as a helper, this is a steady job. This isn’t Vash on the run. And while he is trying to sneak out of the people’s life after he has done his business, he has settled down somewhat, he made connections to people. 

Also Count Vasquez! The guy Vash seemingly killed. Additionally to the whole city, but the wanted poster stressed his murder.

And through all of his emerging memories, the peril that Meryl is in keeps him on track. He cares for her, as much as he keeps her on a distance.

I know this is meant as body horror, but this panel made me laugh so hard. Zazie has eaten too much garlic and is annoying their peers with their bad breath. Or Zazie burping after drinking 2 litres of coke. That initial reaction aside, brrr, their whole body is filled with insects. It looks like releasing them takes a toll onto their host body. How… does Zazie get a host body, btw? Do they just take someone over? Is it corpses or living people? Do they have to take care of it?

And even though they have such power, they protect their host body with a gun. Maybe you need a gun to be part of the gun-ho-guns, even Rai-Dei had a gun-sword. And damn, Hoppered just tore their arm and shoulder off. Dayumm! The panels at the end look like Midvalley and Hoppered killed them together, but I cannot tell how Midvalley attacked? Did he tear the insects apart with his tooting?

I make jokes about Vash and Wolfwood’s: ”I know, he knows, that I know, that he knows, that… to the infinity”, but I feel like that is the whole makeup of the gun-ho-guns. Like Midvalley and Hoppered play fifth dimension chess, with how they suspect Zazie, how they decide to kill Vash, even though it kinda diminishes Midvalley’s chances of leaving alive and so on.

Oh, Midvalley helped Hoppered to sneak upon Zazie by undoing any soundwave Hoppered made with his saxophone. I wonder if I show that to my colleague with perfect pitch, if he hits me for suggesting he does the same.

Fuck yeah! No braincell Meryl to the rescue! Take that gun! I love how we see her come to a decision! Let that spite aid you! Shoot Midvalley in the dick!

02: Breakout Back to the past. This time, Hoppered. And, yeah, this world does not take kindly to the disabled. Vash has the privilege of his high-tech prosthesis, but others have not. Society does not take well to them, if they don’t have a loving community. It says much about Hoppered’s strength that he is able to take care of another person, too. And so respectfully! What happened to her? How are they related, if at all? 

She means the world to Hoppered, that much is certain. But isn’t she to Hoppered like Rem is to Vash? She seems to be the reason for Hoppered’s hate and actions. Her loss makes him, like her presence made his world before. But even more so, she has no real agency. Like the assaulting dude said: She is like a doll. We don’t see her personality, her wishes, or anything. Hoppered idolises her! But he doesn’t reminisce about her personality, her feelings, their connection or anything. His memories are all about her being on a kind of throne, the centre of his world. Something so pure, he cannot even touch her. (While, yes, good for taking her triggers into account, but there are things like: Hey, my friend, may I hold your hand?) While we saw more of Rem, she is gone for so long by now, that even her wishes do not reach the presence anymore. Surely, we can surmise that she wanted the twins to have a good life and such, but in the present her existence has been perverted to Judas or Maria herself, respectively. Like the memory of the nameless woman idol, Rem is scarcely more herself to the twins.

As much as I love Wolfwood, he is an inhuman monster in regards to fights. Blinded, most likely partially deaf and having just barely scraped by death just now, he still finds his target. He is the bloodhound that was put on Vash’ trail, his perseverance and resilience is not normal. And now he is on the trail of Midvalley. Midvalley is rightfully scared of him! People more often think about how Vash is a weapon and how much about him is about the age old question of: Who is the guilty one? The weapon or who pulled the trigger? But Wolfwood is the same. This man is a weapon. The big difference is that Wolfwood somewhat chooses his target to protect others. But the question of his agency in his actions is still up in the air. Because for Wolfwood the question is not whether to shoot or not, it is where to shoot. In his world, there is no no shooting as an option.

Fuck yeah! Meryl! Tell him it is a trap! 

Thanks for making the comparison of Wolfwood to a bloodhound even more obvious by having him lick his fucking lips, Nightow!

Fuck yeah, Milly! Fuck Midvalley up! Take this, Wolfwood! She is not a helpless damsel!

Wait… Did Midvalley cancel out every sound til now? So Vash could not even have heard Meryl warning him? Does this mean that Wolfwood was blind and practically completely deaf while marching on? Ö_____________Ö

Okay, and now they doing a ballerina ass stance. Why? Dunno. But looks awesome. I love the tilting of the panel.

This page just… *chef’s kiss* Nightow loves his standoffs.

03: Loss

It’s about the loss of July, isn’t it? Maybe even the loss of Meryl’s naivete towards Vash.

So, Midvalley knew? Maybe he met the real Chapel before? I love how it is Milly who puts who Wolfwood truly is into focus, by screaming his name. Having the last word “Chapel” and then Milly accidentally countering it with Wolfwood’s true name is just nice symbolism.

Traitor can mean so many things here. Who is Wolfwood betraying exactly? Doesn’t look like it is about Ninelives or Leonof. But Midvalley does not care about Knives, he is betraying him right now himself. Would be pretty hypocritical for him to call Wolfwood out on it. Or did he put two and two together and knows that Wolfwood is there to betray Vash in the end? Why would Midvalley care? He doesn’t care for humanity or Knives or Vash. He just wants to survive. I would say Midvalley gets that Wolfwood is a loyal and softhearted person, who is able to do gruesome things for his close ones. Since they are fighting each other, it is only one person who comes out alive. So Midvalley tries every trick in his repertoire to get an upper hand, like aggravating Wolfwood to make him slip up.

I would be more scared right now, Midvalley. But could Midvalley hear that Wolfwood is not Chapel by his breaths? Maybe even his heartbeat when he lied to Legato?

Holy mother of dog. Yeah, Wolfwood is inhuman. Also, isn’t this the first time the Punisher is used that obviously as a shield? FINALLY! That is my favourite use of her! (later chapter, Zard, then you can gush). Wolfwood is not truly an attacker. While he attacks people, he doesn’t do it without provocation. His first and foremost function is being a protector, to the orphanage, to Vash and to the people he cares ever so slightly about. And he cares about Milly and Meryl!

Hehe, get it? Because of WOLFwood.

And… They are going to blow up the whole of dragon’s nest district. How are they better than the monster that blew up July? Especially Hoppered. Is he so far gone to his revenge that he is unable to understand that there may be someone like him and more so like his friend in the district? Does he care at all?

Vash floofs up! Feathers to the rescue! Is he still conscious? It is a subconscious defence mechanism, but when and how does it go off?

Why… does Hoppered have a cross on his nasal bridge?

Okay, so touching the feathers makes people share Vash’ thoughts? Memories? Can he control it? Or is it about stuff that is on his mind?

Hi, Knives! You beverage boy! Do we ever see him eat? Nightow mentioned that he liked to draw his characters eating for the homely feeling. But Knives does not seem to eat. Only drink. Is he like Stampede Knives and does not need to eat? Only drink? Or is it just pleasure? Doing the sippy. Maybe gifting Knives some really good hot chocolate with whipped cream would have stopped him from going genocidal.

“You are being rude.” Proceeds to cut up his brother. Is Vash rude? Maybe for a delusional, emotional, geriatric cactus like Knives.

Ewewewewew! Medical malpractice. That makes me feel icky as hell. Knives is… Another reader called it pushy to stay polite, but how can Knives not see what he does is monstrous? He is abusing his brother to such a degree and all in the search for power. He seems to have gone through the same, since Vasquez is able to compare him to Vash. Moreso, he is unlocking this power for Vash. How would Vash even be able to gain any control over it? He hasn’t got any! We’ve seen it in January Rock. And honestly that is Knives fault.

Interesting that Knives first idea of anyone having so much power is assuming that everyone would want the person with power dead. That’s him projecting his own fears onto humanity. If it wasn’t Vash bearing that power but, for example, Midvalley, Knives would have killed him off without a second thought. But Vash and Knives are the same, they are brothers, so Vash has to be on his side in the end. That’s why Knives does not harm him, as in doesn’t kill him.

And now poor Meryl gets a first seat for memory lane, too. She does not even get to see what made Vash unlock this power. She is only confronted with the results, with Vash fearing his own body and Knives being Knives. She doesn’t deserve any of this. She should know the truth, but not like this.

Why does it sound so dirty?!? XDD Holy! Contained in their seeds! An amazing feel of release! Blows away all reason! I laughed out loud. It fits how far beyond reasoning Knives is in his hunger for power. This is not something logical, this is just a feral need.

Knives is so hypocritical. We all already said that. But hot damn he is unable to reflect on any of his actions. How many times has Knives hurt Vash? How many times did he betray Vash? He is shocked at the scars? But how many of them are a direct result of Knives meddling? What can and should be said about humanity as a whole, can be said about Knives! But what is even more damning, for every shitty human Vash also meets good humans. Linas, Docs, Luidas and so on. Where is the good Knives? Knives is right that Vash is a walking contradiction. But Knives is one, too. And back to Rem again. Rem, Vash’ Maria and Knives’ devil. Knives completely disconnects from his own actions. All of Vash’ “bad” parts are due to Rem or humans and it is upon Knives to cut them off until only the “good” parts remain. Knives is imagining a perfect brother that never was and Vash has to suffer by that image.

Well, fuck you, Knives. You deserve it. But Vash does not. I… am not sure if Vash chose to shoot. He surely chose where to point the gun and his power, but did he choose to “release” the power? Had he so much control over it? Like a mirror to Fifth Moon Knives took control over him and his power (only in Fifth Moon he has learned that maybe he should stay away from where the gun can be pointed), he is assaulting Vash, taking control over his body and power. Knives wants Vash to release it. He is the one who makes it go out of control. I just do not see a conscious decision in Vash to let it go. It is truly a loss. A loss of July and a loss of Vash’ control, power and agency.

Weird that we do not get more Meryl insights. The panels regularly flicker back to Hoppered, but Meryl is also part of the feather blob. She is sharing those memories, too. She is experiencing the assault and the loss, too. Why don't we get more from her? She is a much more important character than Hoppered, even though Hoppered is the foil to Vash in this fight.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Ultimate 2 Part 3

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

Chapter 3: Fragile

That page. It says so much. Monev is totally on his warpath. From his perspective, Diablo-Vash is the true Vash, but to counter this, we the reader know that the “ridiculous” aim was Vash staying true to his pacifist ideals. This is the true Vash. For the better and the worse. He is angry, spiteful, enraged, but he is still pacifist!

Aw, the mask has little fangs!

I stay by my words that Vash may have killed someone in the last 150 years by accident. He is attentive, but this attack here is not careful! He had no way of knowing that the shield would withstand five shots from his modified gun! Pacifism itself means that you don't want to harm another person, but Vash harms more than a few people. Vash only sees alive and not unharmed. His stance on pacifism is a weird one from the start.

And he took it personally ever since!

As others have already said, Knives is grieving Rem. But he cannot deal with it. So he needs to look at her actions as being done with intent to hurt him specifically.

Truly, Knives is the true fragile one, not Vash.

Chapter 4: Scars

I love this line. It shows that Vash even in his weird pacifism is not naive. He does not trust the assassin that was sent to kill him. He takes measures to keep himself safe. He knows that his decision could have been the wrong one and that sparing means nothing to Monev. He risks it for Rem. (more for his memory of Rem)

I assume that we won’t meet Monev in S2, since Vash and Wolfwood have a similar scene in Stampede. 

Man, this hits hard. Vash’s smile is like, I know, tehee. But he knows, he just doesn’t tell them. 

The insurance women around him notice his obvious predicament, they see that something more is going on, but he keeps quiet. That is so frustrating about Vash. He doesn’t open up. Not only that, by not telling them he takes their ability to decide on their own with all the information from them. Of course, this is about his own fear of connection and the vulnerability that comes with it, but damn, it is frustrating. If they knew, would they still follow him or distance themselves? In my opinion, Vash fears both decisions. Staying endangers them, leaving would be another rejection of Vash from humanity.

Even when he does finally open up, he barely says anything and leaves it to the other party to connect the dots. People need to worm information out of him and they barely ever do, because it may overstep boundaries. Such behaviour is fucking frustrating! I, as a reader, am somewhat frustrated with him, watching this really nice guy being so lonely and putting up walls. He hasn’t got anyone who makes him put those down. 

Well, he does open up to Milly and Meryl about his motives. He may have said even more to them, because the scene pans out after that. But since we don’t see it, it doesn’t exist for us readers. Women! Ask him who this important person was! Ask him who he wants to settle the score with and how he’d do it! Ask him why he thinks he wasn’t able to save her! Give him a reality check that nothing that happened was his fault! They would give him that reality check! But they need the info for that.

What is frustrating for me in this scene is that he could have opened up more, if the women asked him. By not at least showing that Meryl and Milly feel pretty passive to me. They were already somewhat helpless bystanders in the fight with Monev. Have his walls go up after they ask, but make them ask, make them show interest and connection to Vash. For me, this reads often more like an interest for the mystery of Vash and not for the person Vash and I know that this is not what was intended!

Then again, why should they dig into him to get any info? It is not their job to make him open up. They are not his psychiatrists. Just, as a reader, I am more inclined to feel for the protagonist in this moment, so my ire is more on the handling of the insurance women or with depiction of women in shonen/seinen manga in general. But no, I won't open this can of worms.

Hello, new evil guy. Bye, new evil guy.

That eyesight! That aim!

Sigh, and again, Meryl and Milly are pushed aside. *grumbls*

Chapter 5: Muder cafe

Not gonna lie, with how people treat him and with the human trafficking going around, not to mention what else they implied, I kinda understand Legato’s and even more so Knives’ point of view.

But Legato counters his own view by rescuing those women. The guy has more going on behind the scenes and I wish we would see more of that conflict. If he really wasn’t interested in humanity’s survival, he wouldn’t have warned the women after he saved them. He would have just killed everyone in the cafe. 

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Ultimate 2 (Part 1) The extras

Again, late. But better than never! My thoughts while enjoying my read of Trigun Ultimate 2!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

Trigun Ultimate 2

Extra: Day in, day out

Fucking mood, my dude!

Wait? He’s hanging from the wall?!

Jokes aside, again this stresses how much of Vash’s strength comes from him training and working hard. Damn, guy, you depressed and able to do that?

Vash often parties or drinks with Wolfwood in the later volumes… Does that mean he doesn’t need much sleep? Or does his workout regiment falter?

Two things: I love how easily Vash slips into the townlife as if he has been there the whole time. He easily connects with people, he just has his walls up, so people cannot connect with him! 

Vash is always attentive. Even when he is playfighting! Look, how quickly his mask dropped when the danger came around!

Well deserved. But Vash, honey, you really think you never killed anyone? That could have easily killed him. :/ I am pretty sure there were a few corpses on your path by your own doing…

I also love how assertive the waitress?/owner? of the bar was! It is respectable and so is she! We stan a strong woman!

Extra: Pilot

Vash against all the graves is haunting. Did he cause them? Or did he just bury them?

Edit: Nope, just seeing them when walking into the city. But when contrasting it with the news talking about Vash on the same page, you get the feeling that Vash has some skeletons in his closet. Foreshadowing, my friend!

I really like this shot. I love those glasses. Why didn’t he keep them? D; We know by now that Vash is very attentive. No way he accidently walked into the hostage situation!

‘98 Vash! Go away with your creepo behaviour!

And here is Vash again, being more in control of the situation than you think!

That… is not the Vash we see in the main manga! Manga Vash would interfere. Pilot Vash is more passive and gives the humans around him all the agency for their actions, for the better or for the worse! His beliefs are not above their agency. I like it! I am also sure that this Vash would be much less scarred!

He is right about telling the woman about the pain that was caused by her father and that she shouldn't look away. Her father is much more complex than she thought, being doting and kind to her, but a gruesome killer to others.

Pilot Vash is angy! But doesn’t kill. His own believes at work! Surely, Vash despises bullies who take advantage of others plight to gain power.