#Tuvok: Aiming phasers.
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Can you imagine if Tuvok got divorced? It’d be so funny, I just know that guy would completely give up on everything. He’d need like, several decades to recover. I think he might go become a Kolinahru for real this time.
#If Tuvok got the breakup letter instead of Janeway the rest of Voyager would be spent with him on the floor#Janeway: Tuvok what's that ship doing?#Tuvok: Aiming phasers.#Janeway: !?!?!? RAISE SHIELDS!??#Tuvok: -doing so reluctantly- I hope we explode.#I made this post bc I read every tuvok shipping fic I find and in most of them its said that he and his wife just bond broke up#which does make it easier to write romance without him cheating I'll grant you that but I think if this man's wife broke up with him#he'd be way too devastated to kiss anyone#Janeway: I got a dear John letter from Mark....it's sad but I sort of knew it was coming. I suppose this leaves me free to pursue oth-#Tuvok: T'Pel had ended our marriage and with it she might as well have ended my life. -drinks another chocolate milk which Neelix pours him-#Tom tries to cheer him up by saying now he's free to date again and Tuvok really considers killing him#I always smile whenever in the fic Tuvok's like 'my wife broke up with me v_v its fine and logical. I don't feel any way about it.'#Sure you don't Tuvok >) I earnestly don't mind it it's funny to me and very small ~!#I was just thinking about what I think would happen if T'Pel actually did divorce him and I think he'd just collapse
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When their ship and/or crew are in imminent danger:
Archer: T'Pol and Trip will get me out of this.
Kirk: I can fuck my way out of this.
Picard: I can reason my way out of this.
Sisko: Fetch me the tailor, he can murder our way out of this.
Janeway: Computer, Set self-destruct sequence- Janeway Pi-one-one-zero. Tuvok, set our photon torpedoes to blow inside the ship. Tom, aim for the nearest sun, warp 9, just in case. Everyone, point your phasers at the person next to you, set to kill-
#star trek#star trek captains#star trek tos#tos#star trek enterprise#enterprise#star trek tng#tng#star trek ds9#star trek voyager#ds9#voy#archer#kirk#picard#sisko#janeway#janeway is the most bad-ass captain out there#Janeway I love you but you are batshit crazy
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