#Unfortunately... I birthed him twice I guess. Once as [redacted for obvious reasons] and again as Lull in the way that... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blackvahana · 5 months ago

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Also anyway subcutaneous cutaneous and so on were great words for things. I need to remember I wasn't just a passive force under a cult's weight, the BB PC pagan offshoot was arguably insignificant to Lull and M and I put a lot into making a harmless PC pagan religion that was tainted by making it with someone whose goals were ultimately disgusting lmfao

#Like lull was only lull around me.... His whole persona and ways of speaking and such we're in reference to me and also...#Unfortunately... I birthed him twice I guess. Once as [redacted for obvious reasons] and again as Lull in the way that...#lull was like an alter. A tumour of one lmfao or more so a parasite but. My flesh fed him... All that he was through me was thoroughly #birthed through me. I'm talking about the way he spoke and the way he - his mask. Him as a person... No. But the mask he put on #wrt being a fancy victorian gentleman was one through my brain lmfao #~abyssal murmurs #This whole thing I'm saying now is a counter argument to the ways I've just refused to use any of his terms for anything or #the designations and understandings we had for the Nightmares and so on bc that time was horrific and he was horrific #But there's so much that wasn't horrific is my point and there's so much that wasn't him or at least his alone #in the way that... I can bring back the way I saw the world through the lens of the Nightmares being a counter reality because...#ANVD/VRTY is.... exactly what we were describing.

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