#VS the other Horror (congenital anomaly that needs to be dealt with first for doing tests to be possible)
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I can't believe I can't find any information on how to do this thing that not many people need to do. smh
#mytext#said after having had a crying fit over it. whatever#i need to stop ignoring the Horrors (excruciating periods random pans of intense pain etc) and go to a damn gynecologist#VS the other Horror (congenital anomaly that needs to be dealt with first for doing tests to be possible)#how am i even supposed to book a visit when i realistically cannot get anything done. like. ''hello secretary.#i need an appointment only i can't do any tests the doctor can just look at me externally. sorry'' ???#maybe it's also because of The Brain State but while snooping for information (that i didn't find) today even just looking at the tools#that they would use is what automatically made me burst into tears. and it's so frustrating because on paper it's such a stupid minor thing#but alas. and. ok it's a rare thing but not That rare and the fact that it's never talked about despite being relevant to both#sex ed and even just. awareness of what bodies can be like in general. and that i had to find out that Oh Most People Aren't Like This#on my own kinda does contribute to the. uneasiness? uncomfortableness? that i feel#(--_--)#i did manage to break the ''news'' to my mother because i thought Maybe she could give me some advice on how to proceed but i don't even#know what i was expecting considering that all this time she's just told me to deal with the actually Concerning Horrors (ie the pain etc)#she barely even acknowledged it and didn't even ask me how this thing made me feel so. lol. lmao even.#sorry cringe tmi time today was the first time i ever mentioned this to someone irl and it went badly so i don't have anyone to vent to#lol
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