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feminizm-by-zo · 8 years

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When Your B.S. Feels Like BS...

Homework is all done, tests are done, no more lectures, what do I do… Do i regret anything? Here’s your simple answer, no. I do not resent my college experience. I actively try to live with the choices I make and the paths I choose to take along the way. Overall, despite inevitable bumps in the road that is college and my young adult years 18-21, I had a wonderful time. I made lifelong friends, joined clubs, found my voice, learned about who I am and learned about things in class (because school…) There are so many amazing parts of college and there are a great number of awesome things about being all done with it but something just doesn’t feel right.

I’m having a hard time coming up with the right word to explain my experience, but in my LONG (lol just kidding) 3 months since graduation I have struggled with some things that I feel college failed to not only prepare me for, but even mention..

This isn’t organized because I did my college homework and got the degree already so I’m freeeeeee BUT, here’s some genuine (please do better than me at life) advice and just stuff for your brain:

1. GO to the career center starting from freshmen year–> brainstorm ways to make your resume not just be great but STAND OUT, complete at least TWO internships (different cities and roles is ideal), talk about your future OPTIONS (grad school, work, parent, military, etc.)

2. Do NOT let any one or group of people pressure you into a future “plan” that your heart isn’t fully committed to–> I had the most wonderful professors that I trusted and admired but they never discussed options about my future OTHER THAN graduate school and for that matter it HAD TO BE right away and it HAD TO BE a PhD program. Not until I left did I realize, uh do I want to do this? and in fact I felt inferior for considering a masters program or no program at all (COME ON, all of those options are great ones)

3. I saw this today and I loved it, “sleep more than you study, study more than you party, and party as much as you can” –> please make your silly mistakes in college because there are so many people to catch you when you fall and/or get drunk and THEN fall. Take risks now, please. I didn’t and I’m still working on how to truly LIVE, but college would have been the time

4. Go outside your damn campus –> I don’t care what city or town your school is in, literally go outside of your school (buddy system…) My school wasn’t in a great area but one of my fondest memories was volunteering with such wonderful women outside of my campus. Plus, even if your campus food is good (???? where do you go), try out some restaurants yum yum

5. Make a NEW friend –> nah girl, I’m not talking about a mutual friend that you see and hang out with through association with someone else, I’m talking go big and talk to someone in class or literally walk up to someone and say be my friend. Not everyone is as inclined or comfortable being awkward as I am but if they’re weird about it they aren’t worth your time

6. Join a club you know nothing about –> for the love of G-d go learn something new in college. I almost could have tried to thought about (lol) joined the rowing team. My excuse was that they wake up early but to hell with that because those guys were awesome and I would have had a great time learning something new!

7. Take that nap –> Okay a lot of people would disagree with me here because “you never remember the nights you went to sleep” but trust me, sometimes waking up from a mid day coma can cure the oncoming college plague going around or will make you feel a bit better about the 249745 assignments you have due tomorrow (i do NOT miss that). Do it, take care of yourself

8. Make pals with your professors –> well duh, keep the professional-ness a thing but they are such cool actual PEOPLE. they don’t spend their WHOLE lives talking at you. They have pets, and hobbies and they know a lot of really cool stuff. Find a professor you heard about being cool or one that you know specializes in some sweet stuff and make an appointment with them. I met one of my mentors by literally emailing her and saying “hi i dont know you can i talk to you” (again with the awkwardness)

9. Erase that intimidation of “higher ups” thing you have in your noggin –> I became close with the president of my school through just making myself known in small, weird ways. Emailing him to ask his opinion on something, asking him to attend club events, literally stopping him to tell him something I want to see happen on campus. Those dudes and dudets “upstairs” are there to help you so make them dooo itt.

10. Just because you are qualified for a job or praised for your skills in one city/town/place does NOT mean it will be the same elsewhere –> here comes the tough love… I am definitely feeling like a pile of poo here wandering around DC with my resume because everyone wants the same thing, everyone is qualified, and everyone FOR SOME DAMN REASON has like 24 olympic gold medals BEFORE AN ENTRY LEVEL JOB. don’t give up, that’s my point.

11. Yes your mom is right that you’re special but I’m sorry, you are not one of a kind –> More tough love because I suck… okay so I am a recent college graduate in D.C., a feminist, liberal, jewish woman, “passionate”, “hard working”, “detail oriented” HAHAHAHA so is everyone else. Please please spend time in college finding a passion or niche that makes you at least .06% different than the masses because I blend right in and… hire me.

12. I guess I knew this but I didn’t realllllly know this, THE GYM AND THE HEALTHY FOOD IS FREE IN COLLEGE do it, eat it, idk beeee it –> gym memberships are mucho expensivo from $60-$329587970 per month in the real world so maybe take advantage of that gym now while you got it. AND damn, if i could buy some pomegranate seeds for less than $4 in this city i would love it but NOPE. Healthy food is so expensive, eat it now, save me some, send it to me.

13. Get a hobby –> that sounded rude but really, I need one. As much as I try yoga I don’t like it, it doesn’t relax me. Is netflix a hobby? I have an adult coloring book, does that count? NO. Just like in college there are clubs and groups in the real world that people are involved in like book clubs and women’s groups and political shin digs, JOIN SOME! Get passionate about somethin and do it in your free time.

14. College will tell you or at least it told me that there is ONE definition of success –> get a job before graduation, graduate, live in a fancy apartment, get a trophy wife (lol no thank you) and live happily ever after on a golf course. errrrrrr wrong, I’m really struggling with this but in college they tell you that you can do anything, and that’s true but at that same token YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. You can graduate and get married, go in the military, sit on the couch for a bit, live with your parents, take care of your mental health, etc. Do NOT do NOT let your college define what success is for you. Only you can do that and it will take some time. I’m not sure yet what mine is and i’m getting impatient but I’ll get there someday.

15. Pretend to be your own mother –> tell yourself to take care of yourself. physically, mentally, spiritually. Take that nap, take the medicine your doctor prescribed, cancel something with a friend if you need to, Be healthy.

16. Find your spirituality –> Sure I know my religion, I have ideas about my life and the “something bigger” but no one really lays it out for you that in college there are clubs and events (i.e. Hillel and Hanukkah dinners) but when you leave college you either have to seek out others who will join you in the creation of a club or organization OR (more likely) you have to figure out (probably by trial and error) what pieces of your religion and your upbringing you want to keep in your own adult life and maintain. It’s important, whatever it may be, remembering there is something bigger is helpful when you’re “on your own”

17. This will depend on the person you are but remember, be wise BUT money is just paper –> health and happiness are the most important parts of your life and after college (which you and I were so lucky to have the opportunity to attend) you need to remember that money will come, but health is of the utmost importance. Of course there will be times that money is a priority cause well, girl’s gotta live and eat but remember that it is not the end all be all of your life.

18. (if you’re still in college) pick a major that you LOVE and a minor that is MARKETABLE –> thanks to my daddio for this tip and not thanks for me for not doing this but out here in the cold lonely real world (lol), most entry level jobs have administrative, communications and marketing tasks. Do ya know how to do that? Get on it. Sometimes I feel like my degree only prepared me to play a very narrow focused game of jeopardy………

19. I don’t know if this is actually true but somewhere I saw that you have the most friends and biggest (real life) social network at 25 years old, embrace it –> mhmm all your pals in college are wonderful and there are many you will keep and maintain relationships with but some, I’m sorry this is harsh, are because of convenience and proximity. Outside of college you will have to work harder to cultivate relationships and friendships by truly being there for one another. You will find your circle just reach out!

20. Keep learning –> again I feel like i got this jeopardy game thing down but when it comes to having intellectual conversations at times I feel lost (and I hate myself for it) because I studied something pretty narrow. Read the classics, watch the news, LEAN INTO THE CONVERSATION (literally and figuratively), attend events, see plays, i don’t know just learn random important things about this world we live in and what it has to offer. There is so much out there so go get it.

21. Know your worth –> In every way possible but since you might be in the position looking for work, know your worth in regards to salary. Not only should you negotiate your salary (no matter how scary that sounds) but you should also research it in your area that you have chosen to look for work. I’m embarrassed to say that before moving to D.C. I underestimated a good salary for myself by about $15k......uncomfortable. You are worth it, fight for it.

22. You can live wherever you want! –> This is the fun part, we are so used to being “stuck” in one location for college or family but you can literally pick anywhere in the world to live and thrive as a young adult. I chose D.C. for professional opportunities but I could have picked China?? No one is stopping you so go big, the older you get, the more responsibilities will hold you back from going somewhere outrageous. Do it, I dare you.

Oy vey, well… that’s all I got for now but I’m sure I’ll learn something new tomorrow or be annoyed/feel helpless about something else I don’t feel prepared for this week but for now, be grateful for where you are and take advantage of it. You can do it (that was also me trying to convince myself)… it’s hard… keep going… and/or napping

ZG. 3/1/17/

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