#When we helped with that stupid fucking trial Dante said something like

[doppelnatur]

.

[etlunainmorte]

🏝 I See My Future Before Me 🏝

***

"Ahem!" Patty cleared her throat, making the two of you look at her. "Get a room, whatever?"

V chuckled as he let you go for a while. With a sheepish smile, he, then helped you sit and wrapped his arms around you once more. He was really glad with how things turned out. He couldn't explain it, himself, but, who cares about it now?! What's important was that -

All of a sudden, you heard some strange noises just outside the door.

V let you go and nodded at Patty as he stood up, his eyes darting cautiously on the door. He slowly walked towards it, grabbed the brass door knob, and flung open the door - !

"WHAT THE F - ?!"

You heard a voice as V drew back, wide - eyed, from the door.

And lo and behold, Nico, and a strange - looking boy with sharp features came scrambling on the floor at the poet's feet!

"Who are you, people?!" Patty demanded, unable to believe that some strangers managed to infiltrate the villa, yet again. Well, V was one thing but, these people?

"I can explain,... everything!" Nico retorted as she stood up, rubbing her hip. "Oh, and I was definitely not listening,..." She, then, looked at the mystery boy, who was still on the floor, and practically smacked him on the head with much force. "Hey! About time you get up!"

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!" The boy screamed as he scrambled to his feet and hid behind V, completely frightened of the crazy Artisan. "I can't believe this woman, V! She dragged me and the housecat out of the house all of a sudden! She even blackmailed that pimple kid Nero and the others to come with her here!"

"Nero,... and the others?" The poet asked, and even before he, or the strange boy, could say or do anything else, all of you heard an impatient tapping on the glass door. All of you turned and saw none other than Nero, himself, wearing nothing but his navy - blue swimming trunks. He was carrying a surf board, and gesturing something really weird at you. Other than that, he looked really annoyed, or pissed, that you almost felt relieved that you couldn't hear him or understand what he's saying through that thick glass door.

"Where is the bathroom here, anyway? This place is humongous!" You heard a distinct and familiar voice from the doorway, and, surely enough, when you turned back, you saw the Legendary Devil Hunter wandering about the hallway like he was lost. And what's more, he was carrying a huge hiking bag on his back and at least two bulky luggage on each hand, like he was going on a vacation or something.

"DANTE?!" Patty practically screamed at the top of her lungs as she angrily strode towards him. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AFTER GHOSTING ON ME FOR THREE MONTHS?! I INVITED YOU FOR MY BIRTHDAY PARTY BUT, YOU DIDN'T COME! AND NOW, YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SHOW UP HERE?! WHAT THE HELL, DANTE?!"

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Wait a second here, señorita!" Dante drew back in terror upon witnessing the girl's pure and utter rage. "I can explain! A lot of things happened, and - "

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK UNTIL I SAY SO! AARRGGHH!"

You were trying to suppress your laughter at Patty's outrage ( no one could blame her, after all, he did ditch her on her birthday party ) when something suddenly threw itself at you and hugged you tightly. You looked down and to your surprise, you saw a pale, little girl with long, black hair that seemed sentient. She was even giving you a weird look with her pair of huge, red eyes, like a lost child who just found her mother.

"Oh, ah,... hello!" You awkwardly greeted but, she didn't say anything. She just went on staring at you with those huge eyes of hers, and that weird, and yet funny, expression that made her look like she has committed some kind of unspeakable crime.

You looked up at V and noticed his features clearly contorting with stress due to the sudden visitors around him. And who could blame him? You totally had no idea how much he wanted to be by your side. He wanted to be alone with you for a change! And if he's being honest with himself, he wanted to do more than just talk with you!

But, now, it seemed that his plans, and his patience, were really getting pushed to their utmost limit,...

You gulped nervously as you saw the poet knitting his eyebrows in suppressed anger, bowing down low and reaching for his nose bridge to pinch it.

***

♡♡♡

***

" ... it was like I was dreaming. Like, I was drowning, and suddenly, someone took my hand and pulled me out of the water!"

" ... uhu,..."

"And when I was back on the surface, I heard his voice. He said, my love."

" ... yeah, and,... ?"

"You see, I thought Dracula was playing on the background, so I answered, and my life, always! And when I opened my eyes, I saw him! And he's looking down at me!"

" ... okay."

"And when we kissed and embraced, I felt this kind of energy surging throughout my body! It's like,... AARRGGHH! It's really hard to explain! Like, I was this,... are you even listening to me?!"

"GOD, SWEET PEA! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYIN' TO COOK THIS THING?!" Griffon howled as he pointed at the raw chicken on the grill before him. "I'VE BEEN STARIN' AT THIS CHICKEN FOR THIRTY FUCKIN' MINUTES, AND NOTHIN'S HAPPENIN', AT ALL!"

"Stupid!" Nico, who was already wearing a yellow two - piece bikini, mocked as she placed her hands on her hips. "Ye're supposed to set the charcoal on fire! And fan the flames! God!"

And with a shrug of her shoulders and a shake of her head, the Artisan walked away from them and joined the others for a game of beach volleyball.

You stared at the familiar, whose bald head began sweating hard, if it's even possible.

"Err, is that right? Y - ya set the charcoal on fire?" He stuttered as he stared at the weird cooking device.

"Well, yeah." You answered as the side of your lips went up in a visible smirk. "You know, you might be bipedal right now, but - "

"DON'T ya dare say I'm still a fuckin' BIRD BRAIN!" The familiar yelled at your face as he accidentally burned and almost reduced the raw chicken to ashes with the power of electricity that came out of his fingers. Startled and shocked upon realizing and seeing what he's done to the whole crew's lunch, he quickly took the grill grates, threw the burnt chicken, and buried it beneath the sand underneath his feet. He slowly and nervously looked at you with huge eyes and raised eyebrows. Then, he gulped. "Umm,... you didn't see anythin', 'kay?"

You covered your mouth to suppress the laughter.

Ever since waking up in V's arms three days ago, you've been thrown to such unexpected experiences that you honestly never imagined yourself being a part of. For one, you were so surprised upon seeing Griffon's new and cleansed form ( according to him ) after his supposed demise at Shadow's hands. You even had to admit to yourself that you're still having a hard time adjusting to him looking as normal as any human can be. You also found out that, during those three days of adjustment, his wings occasionally sprout from his back from time to time, and his striking golden eyes looked clearly sharper than ever before when he was still a demonic bird, not to mention those pointed ears that caught your attention the moment he finally re - introduced himself to you. But, what caught your attention the most was the fact that you were, somehow, no longer contracted to him in any way, shape, or form. It must be because you no longer hold the authority to command the Sisters of Fate, thus, making you a simple and ordinary human being without the power to command a demonic familiar.

You could say the same thing for Shadow. Well, who could blame you, anyway? Not now when she looked like someone's adorable little sister. That very obvious fact aside, those familiar streaks of red light still manifested on her skin when she's startled. That long, dark hair of hers took on a life of its own when someone angered her. She even hissed at anyone who made the huge mistake of taking away her toys ( the Elmo plushie in particular ). Other than that, she still hasn't outgrown her habit of purring and rubbing against you occasionally. You found this very endearing, actually, despite the fact that this female familiar gave you a lot of problems three months ago. She was, in fact, very guilty and apologetic and sweet that you forgave her quite easily. Well, she did nothing wrong in the first place. She only did those horrible things because she was only commanded to do so. She has nothing to apologize for in the first place. And now, Shadow refused to leave your side, she even has this habit of climbing on the bed with you in the middle of the night for some snuggles.

Those two familiars aside, you were very surprised upon hearing the good news from Nero, himself. Who would've guessed that he and his lady love, Kyrie, were eagerly awaiting their own bundle of joy? Nico was the same as ever. If anything, she bullied Griffon even more now that the familiar has turned into a human. She dotes on Shadow a lot, she even provided the familiar a closet - full of clothes for her to wear. She was also spoiling her rotten with treats. And Dante? Seriously, the poor guy, you decided, was a real masochist, letting himself be completely bossed around by both Lady and Trish, who made him carry their things around the beach. You were not sure whether this was the result of him being deeply indebted to these two ladies but, the sight of him going after them like a scruffy - looking butler in red leather really put a smile on your face.

All of these changes and familiar faces you embraced so well. However, there was one particular face that changed a lot within those three months of your absence.

Jet black hair now as white as snow, dark, swirling demonic contract tattoos now barely visible on pale skin, and soft, emerald eyes gentler than ever before, you never expected V to look so,... changed,... after those past three months that you didn't see him. It was like,... he went through a lot, suffering, trials, growth,...

But, whatever happened to him during those days, it surely changed him a lot as a person. He has,... somehow become even more thoughtful, and careful,... he has become even more caring and protective towards you if that's even possible. The way he moved changed a lot, as well. Before, nothing could make him move even a single finger unless he has deduced it was safe to do so. Now, he seemed more,... careless,... towards you and only you. Open, even. Like, he was totally letting his guard down for you to let you in on his thoughts, and his heart.

And not only that. He seemed,... closer,... towards you. Like, not even a few feet away. He was really close. You sit, he will sit. You stand, he will stand. You walk, he will most definitely walk, too. There were even times when you accidentally bumped into him when you turned too quickly. When you wake up in the morning, you would find yourself completely surprised to see not only Shadow sleeping next to you but, the poet, as well. Heck, you even have a hard time shooing the guy off whenever you need to go to the bathroom! He always seemed to follow you wherever you go. And him being so attached to you like that? Of course, you honestly felt both shy, confused, and really bashful at the same time!

And that,... was only two days ago.

Because now, V seemed,... different. Well, not the scary or the off type of different, no. It seemed like there was a sense of,... urgency,... with the way he moved. The way he looked at you, the way he reached for your hand, the way he touched you, the way he whispered to your ear, not to mention that spine - tingling effect his low and deep voice has on you,...

You knew he was up to something! You knew,... you felt it. And honestly? You felt a mixture of both fright and excitement with the way he's acting towards you lately. You were fully aware of where you stand with regards to things such as intimacy in a relationship. And you being, well,... you? You couldn't help but be both scared and giddy. A lot of things were going through your mind: how would it feel like? Would it hurt? Would there be a lot of blood, like what they said? Would you get sick the next day? But most important of all, would he really be gentle towards you?

These thoughts were still on your mind when you walked out of the villa to join the others on the beach, and when he saw you, he almost immediately dropped whatever he's doing to rush over to your side, only to be stopped by both Dante and Nero.

"Hey, man, we need another one for the team." Dante told him, grabbing the poor poet by the shoulder.

"Come on, V. They're gonna destroy us!" Nero pleaded as he pointed at the three women, Nico, Lady, and Trish, all in their swim suits, waiting for the men to join them for another round of beach volleyball.

You smiled and nodded at V, who glanced helplessly at you as the men dragged him. You were about to watch the spectacle when someone tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and noticed it was Patty, together with Kyrie, who chose to stay out of the beach due to her delicate state. And both women were smiling mischievously at you.

V and the others were still playing ( albeit it with much difficulty on the poet's part ) a few moments later when you, Patty, and Kyrie came out of the house. And when V saw you, he -

"V, WATCH OUT!" The warning from Nero and Dante came too late as the ball that was hit by Lady came speeding towards him and hit him in the face.

"Youch! That must really hurt!" Griffon, who was still roasting another batch of almost burnt chicken for lunch, flinched as he watched you run towards V, now with a bleeding nose.

Everything went peaceful for a while after that: Shadow, who was really not fond of swimming or getting wet entirely, minding her own business as she built her own sand castle, Kyrie and Nero playing with the orphans on the shore, Nico appraising Griffon's grilled chicken with a keen eye, Griffon hiding several burnt chicken on the sand beneath his feet with a nervous smile, Trish, Lady, and now Patty, bullying Dante to buy ice cream for them,...

... and you taking care of V as you two sat on a towel he borrowed from Patty a while ago.

"You should have been more careful." You told him as you gently wiped the blood off his face.

"I'm fine." He answered quietly as he let himself be pampered by you. "Don't think too much about it."

"Are you sure nothing's broken?"

"I' am perfectly sure."

V glanced at you with such gentle and thoughtful eyes.

For three days since being back together again, V has tried multiple ways of getting close to you, with each attempt ending in miserable failure due to the interference of the people around him. And it has led to him feeling both annoyed and frustrated. While you were absolutely correct that he, indeed, wanted to be intimate with you, he also had another, more vital, reason behind his actions for the last few days. He has found out the reason you were brought back ( or, one might even argue that you really didn't die back then ), and that was partly due to you finally accepting that you need him, and mostly because V practically, and unknowingly, shared his energy, or life force, with you. He couldn't really explain how this happened ( or maybe Cassandra or Andromeda knew, he just didn't bother to ask any of them ), but when he touched, embraced, and kissed you ( albeit briefly due to those interfering people ), he knew that some form of power left his body, surging through every fiber, every nerve, and every vein in his body, and made its way towards you, giving you strength, health, vitality,...

... giving you life.

He was fully aware of what he has done to you in the past - of robbing you of your only life source - that has led to him regaining what he almost lost - life. And him giving back to you that power of life and vitality in some other form or way by being as close to you as he can,...

... it was the ultimate equivalent exchange.

He wanted to share every last bit, every last drop, and every last ounce of this unknown and unexplored power with you by being close, by always being there for you, and by always being with you in every sense of the word.

And he's more than willing to do this for the rest of his life.

And now, as his gaze landed once more on the scars on your stomach and on your thighs, he couldn't help but feel guilty and hurt all over again. You noticed how this made him uneasy and immediately zipped the pink hoodie ( that was given to you by Sister Christina for your birthday ) close so that he would not be able to see the scars, even by accident.

"Patty and Kyrie thought I would look, ah, you know, hot, by wearing this two - piece bikini they lent me but," You lamely made an excuse as you laughed nervously, hoping to get the poet's attention away from your ugly scars. " ... I look dreadful in it, after all. I mean! My feet aren't the only things that are ugly in me. Now, I look like an overused pin cushion, or some - "

"Don't!" V cut you off as both of his hands flew to your face to gently cup your cheeks. And right then and there, he immediately felt that same power leaving his fingers and making its way towards your skin, giving you a noticeable glow that made his heart do multiple flips. "Say such things, my love. You are beautiful, and perfect."

You smiled nervously as you felt your skin getting warmer and warmer by the second under his loving gaze. It really did feel both scary and exciting being with him in this kind of situation.

And then, you felt it: your breathing getting heavier and heavier with his caress, your heartbeat frantically rising with the way he looked at you, and your thighs instinctively rubbing against each other as you felt the warmth of his skin.

For a few seconds, you remained like this, looking into each other's eyes as if nothing else in the world mattered. And when his face inched closer to yours, feeling his hot breath fan your already radiant and sensitive skin, you -

"Hey, want some?"

You were sure you heard V let out a curse in utter frustration as he slowly looked at Dante, who was offering the two of you some strawberry - flavored popsicles. Your eyes widened in fear as you noticed the poet clearly giving Dante a glare that sent shivers down your spine.

"Oh! Thanks, Dante, but - " you stuttered as you tried to break through the tense atmosphere but, you were interrupted as Patty, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere, practically jumped at the tall Devil Hunter, hugging him from behind and startling him, effectively breaking the already heavy situation between the two men.

"Dante!" Patty literally screamed at him, looking very excited.

"Damn, woman!" Dante turned, still unable to believe that the once little girl, who used to pester him only a few years ago, has now fully grown into a very matured and attractive lady. "What is it now? I have bought you your ice cream already, didn't I?"

"Hey! We're still celebrating my birthday!"

"Am I still not forgiven?"

"Of course, not! Unless,..."

"Unless what?"

Patty let go of Dante as she gave him a truly mischievous smirk, one that made you smile inwardly. She truly is making her move,...

"Unless you go on an overnight cruise with me."

"Are you joking?! Only the two of us?!" Dante panicked, clearly picking up on what he thought Patty was planning. And he was definitely not ready and not up for that. "Are you out of - ?!"

"Are you silly?! Of course, the others are invited!" Patty laughed as she turned and waved at Nero, Kyrie, and the orphans, who were excitedly boarding the yacht she rented for the special overnight cruise.

"Come on, Dante! We'll have so much fun!" Patty lured the Devil Hunter once more.

"Y - you don't understand! You and I - "

"Are what?" Trish, who also seemingly came out of nowhere, cut him off as she grabbed his arm and began leading him towards the yacht. "Are you thinking something dirty in there, Dante?"

"How inappropriate!" Lady butted in as she also took the man's arm. "How naughty could you really get, hmm?"

You stifled your laughter as you watched the three women drag the unwilling Dante towards the yacht like a human sacrifice of some sort. Then, you noticed Lady as she turned towards you for the last time before leaving, mouthing something like, good luck, cherry pie with a wink and a wide smile. Patty also turned, but she didn't look at you. She deliberately looked at V and gave him a wink and a thumbs up for a reason you still don’t know.

"How annoyingly human is that?" Griffon, who somehow made his way towards you without being seen or heard, spoke upon watching the said humans get on the yacht. "Hey, V, why don't we - ?”

"Didn't ya hear what the girls said?!" Nico, who was pulling along Shadow, who clearly looked annoyed for being disturbed, interrupted. She, then, took Griffon's arm and started dragging him towards the yacht. "Move yer ass!"

V couldn't help but smirk as he watched Griffon being helplessly dragged by the woman, leaving only the two of you alone on the beach.

Leaving you two alone until the next morning,...

Did Patty read his mind? After all, it was she who made a move to basically get rid of the others for him,...

If so, then,...

"They're just leaving us here?" V heard you next to him.

"Seems like it." He answered, listening to Griffon and Dante's screams in the distance until he could no longer hear them.

"Where are they going?"

"I,... don’t know."

"Oh."

"Hmm."

You two looked at each other, both realizing what the others' absence meant for the two of you.

"Want to go for a dive?" V politely and graciously offered.

"Not really,..." you hesitated, feeling hot, excited and nervous all at the same time at the prospect of spending time alone with your lover. V smiled. Of course, he knew you wouldn't agree to - "O - on second thought, sure! Why not?" You stuttered awkwardly as you finally agreed, making the poet’s lips curl up in a smile.

It could simply be described as the most relaxing day you've had in many years. You and him diving in the ocean and swimming towards that beautiful rock formation, the two of you walking hand in hand as you picked up pretty sea shells in the sand along the way, you describing the lovely things you've seen in your travels, and him tenderly telling you that he wanted to see such things with you,...

It was,... so beautiful, and perfect. In fact, the two of enjoyed this alone time too much that you didn't even notice the setting sun. It was then that he suggested to take a rest for a while and watch the breathtaking sunset with you, making sure you still have that towel to sit on for later. And as you watched the soft glow of the twilight sky with him, you couldn't help but sigh in relief and contentment. The poet raised an eyebrow, urging you to tell him whatever made you react in such a way. You smiled and simply shook your head.

"Thank you so much, V." You whispered, making the poet hum in question. "You were giving me life, weren't you?"

V smiled as he wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed your temple. "And what made you say that, my love?"

"It's exactly that. Your gentle touch, your tender kisses, your warm embrace. Every time you do this, I feel this strange kind of power coming from you, and this gives me energy, somehow. Like, ah, how do I even explain this? Hmm,..."

"Like,... this?" V whispered in that low, almost moan - like, voice as he held you even closer, wrapping both of his arms around you, giving you no chance to think of a proper explanation. You were drowned in his overwhelming presence even more as he began kissing you, letting his lips move against yours in an intoxicating manner, letting your own passion guide you as you shyly reciprocated,...

... and even before you could go any further, he broke the kiss, smiling bashfully as he heard you whimper with disappointment.

"Tell me, darling," V whispered once more, sending your senses straight to Heaven. " ... did you feel,... something?"

You pouted, feeling a bit embarrassed that he was teasing you now of all times when you suddenly realized that you desperately needed him now. But, yes! You did feel something!

You nodded, simply because you couldn't trust your own voice. This scenery, the atmosphere, the man you loved above all else,...

Everything was just too perfect, and you were afraid that this was only like one of those vivid dreams you don't want to wake up from,...

"But, you're not dreaming. I'm here. With you."

You bit your lip, realizing that you've said your thoughts out loud, and looked up at him, only to see tenderness, and warmth, and something else in those beautiful green eyes of his.

"And I want to give you more." He said as his face went down close to yours again. "I need to give you more. More and everything you deserved. I need you,..." You closed your eyes, feeling his lips descend upon yours once more,...

***

🏝 A huge surprise is coming your way, courtesy of @bettybattaglia and @la-vita . Please, look forward to it. 🏝

🏝 @micaelagua , @vergils-daughter , @shadowrosess , @gothghoulfrend , @beyond-the-mirror , @cantcopewithlosingv , @lessy86 , @ceruleanworld , @yepps , @heaven-on-a-landslide , and @krazy06 . 🏝

***

🏝🏝🏝

***

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

aight

lets ends this

-

i love that he's still trying to cheer her up with her terrible crossover idea

phoenix is such a sweetie

-

“...so we may put this dead lawyer walking out of his misery”

hear hear 

just kill me already

-

“she's now slain two high level clergymen...”

one of which was a confirmed rebel but HEY whatever ITS NOT LIEK YOU KILL THEM IN GENERAL ANYWAY

who gives a fuck this trial is janked

-

“bahlgilpo’kon hell- the realm of eternal agony”

wow eternal agony is the bottom hell??? thats like the first hell in dante’s hells; youre soft as runny shit kooraheenism.

-

“there she will suffer the endless punishment of ja’gar by the galuun of Puhlmo’ten.”

SUBTITLES PLEASE 

-

he was killed during the rite but they only found his body like two days later?!?!

what the fuck!?

...and wait a fucking second, he wasnt there when we were fucking investigating BULLSHIT

BUUULLLLLSSSHHHIIIIIIT!!!

-

two consecutive murders constitutes a serial killer??

-

every time sadmad sighs and shakes his head i lose a year of my life

-

Rayfa’s voice is so fucking unfitting; she’s got the voice of a 30 year old woman and she’s supposed to be a whiny-ass 14 year old

do these people know anything about casting??

is it really that hard to get a 14 year old to say a few lines? i was voice acting (not professionally obvs) when i was 14. i sucked, but i was doing it, and there’ve been younger kids working on real shows.

anyway 

-

welp looks like this mcfuck is using a fake name

someone get on that

-

I'm sorry you’re surrounded by such incompetence, Rayfa. and i mean that. i like you now, youre kinda funny.

-

phoenix: plus, yesterday, someone told me how the divination seance used to work

phoenix fucking sucks at keeping secrets jesus christ holy fuck just SHUT UP ABOUT THE REBELS YOU MORON

-

if he says let it go and move on again I'm going to fucking scream

-

“haha! the police overlooked the clergy tattoo on the back of his neck!”

directly below the stab wound. the clergy tattoo. that has significance in their country.

Why do the Kooraheen Police suck so much ass? They can’t catch a running suspect, and apparently they’re all blind.

-

HOW DOES THE JUDGE NOT FUCKING KNOW A RELIGIOUS SYMBOL FROM HIS OWN FUCKING RELIGION?!?!?

-

[insert nahyuta eats (peach emoji)ass joke]

-

“aren't they utterly different shapes?”

...a... peach... and an upside down peach?!

nahyuta 

im gonna blow your mind

this is called a handstand, here, do it with me

-

lazy ass parents naming their kid “real name”

fuck this joke country

this is some ‘who's on first’ bullshit

-

RAYFA LUSTS FOR BLOOD

-

yeah it was freezing on that mountain, of course your estimate was wrong.

i knew this was coming...

-

hebLINDED HER WITH SCIENCE

BEEP BA BOO BA

-

“this article is small in size but huge in importance!”

just like my d––

-

How... did this work? They did a great job of hiding that wound...

also no blood at the “scene of the crime”

yeah not suspicious at all

-

once again the prosecution blames the detective for something they couldn’t have helped :/

GUARD YOUR ASSHOLE EMA, GUARD YOUR ASSHOLE

HOLY SHIT

INSERT REFERENCE TO ABOVE PEACH JOKE

-

loud ass clock inside a secret hideout? good one, rebels. super well done.

-

ahhhh

now that is clever. i like that

although, considering the length of that statue’s beak, he should’ve been impaled right through his body, so.....

you were close, SOJ

glad to see more clever twists though. 

-

game ruins everything with blatant hints

-

there are other cases where they can tell when two weapons have been used on the same wound

why cant they tell now?

-

stone sharp enough to cut skin??

-

your hideout is fucking death trap

good going rebels

-

youre using serial killer wrong... again

-

thats a lie, nobody likes swiss cheese

-

LAY OFF CHEESE YOU PIECE OF SHIT

ILL RIP YOUR ASS OUT

-

“what you said is total bullshit!! heres what happened; this, this this. and since I said it ,its true! without any proof!!! SO THERE”

-

phoenix: VALID POINT!

sadmad: bullshit excuse

judge: sounds legit, overruled!

-

“jeez just toss me an Axe if its that bad...”

-

“plotting your escapee from this sacred hall?”

yeah well just run out

-

“you would pin a crime upon the dead, who you know tell no tales?”

uh

did you just forget the whole

soul pool thing or

are you just stupid

-

aw baby here we go

-

stop saying 30% you dont know shit

-

oh my god

whoa whats he doing with the magatama

-

“wait... i think i saw something just now...”

what, phoenix

what did you see, hmm?

-

“the power of prayer! yes... it uh... helps you... install listening devices in your secrets base uuhhhhhh...ITS NOT WEIRD

-

“She has a way of putting me at ease...”

(weeps) my babies

-

(sigh) its the wife, get on with it

-

“long years of ascetic training have sharpened my ears”

god the training is more useful to Athena than it is Maya. this is depressing.

-

make like a mollusc and clam up??? who says that???????

-

boy you sure fuckin suck at this Mr. Inmee

-

judging by that KAAHHH Tahrust should have a deep voice, and DD had a deeper male voice blip... why aren't they using it? they've already implemented singing blips and tutting blips, did they forget about the extra deep blips?

or are those reserved for demons?

he is a ghost...

-

...how far along is behleeb anyway? either I'm blind or the sprite artist forgot to give her a baby bump.

hey yeah! she's barely pregnant! her character art shows that! so its not so much of a stretch that she could be running around killing rebels. Plus, she hasn’t been pregnant for two years...

...of course, its not her, it’s rUHEEL NAYMUH, but still. she’s not far along enough to be inconvenienced by her child. 

-

potato potahto tomahto egg salad!!

stop praying at me, nahyuta.

-

dont you fucking dare...

dont you even fucking dare

-

THEY DARED

I SWEAR TO FUCK

i swear to fuck 

so. youre gonna blame maya. for the actions. of YOUR OWN GODDESS. 

WHO’S GREAT AND POWERFUL AND MYSTICAL AND WISE AND PERFECT.... UNLESS SHE’S BEING CHANNELED BY A DIRTY FOREIGNER?

i just i cannot express how angry this makes me. it doesn’t make any fucking sense and it’s complete and utter hypocrisy. it’s even worse than before;  before they were suggesting that the person dressed as Lady Kee’ra was killing rebels in her name, if it wasn’t outright her. Now they’re suggesting it was LITERALLY HER, and remember, these people are UBER RELIGIOUS, and they still have a problem with THEIR IMMORTAL GODDESS IN THE FLESH exacting her divine punishment against people THAT ARE HARMING THEIR COMMUNITY ANYWAY???

yes, vigilantism is dangerous. but it gets a little more fucking complicated when you suggest that it’s the legit actions of an ACTUAL GODDESS.

and even if this is the corrupt government just trying to cover up deaths (which it is) why didn’t they just step in and go “Yeah, another Lady Kee’ra murder. All hail the marvellous goddesses. er diarrhoea kooraheen.”

it would be a lot easier and a lot less messy than taking a kid to court. why do they even want Maya out of the way, anyway? She didn’t know any of the rebels, and she posed no threat to their corrupt government. Yeah, Zealot’s dead, but they literally could have just hired another crazy assassin. 

Unless there’s a REAL GOOD FUCKIN REASON for all of this, I call bullshit, bullshit bULLSHIT

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i think it’s time to let your head go and move on to another room sadmad

at the same time

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...plus they legit just forgot their own lore.

maya can’t summon Kee’ra if she doesn’t know what she looks like.

that was so easy i didnt have to even press on statements; thats how easy that contradiction is. thats how easy it is to remember something stated five minutes ago, and how easy it is to remember how your own religion works. you fuckhats.

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oh hey i just realized Tahrust really does call Behleeb his “lovely wife” 

aw. how nice. if only they didnt decide to scapegoat maya.

doesn't matter your intentions; you die if you scapegoat maya. you die by my blade.

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you ok pal. is an alarm clock really the source of an evil laugh.

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“indeed! we leave the alarm switched off at all times!”

why would you even have a clock with an alarm on it in a secret base anyway?? and how did phoenix manage to play it in the hideout if the alarm was switched off? 

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“those distinctive taiko drums”

fuckin’ finally

ive been waiting for that stupid watch to come back for AAAGEES

of course there was a reason maya would mention traditional japanese instruments...

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y’know it’s funny that he would even make that fuckup in the first place. if he’s a plumed punisher fan, he should know how the theme song goes. his wife was at least a big fan, meaning he’d probably have heard the opening enough times to know that Taiko drums weren’t part of it. Furthermore, if he was banking on the fact that the two themes sound similar to pass off the deception, then it was a huge mistake on his part to define the sound as Taiko drums; thats just a needless detail that could get him caught out, which it did. 

and if he just didn’t know, well... again, useless detail. always bad. always be vague if you wanna get away with shit.

-

ah... at least in death, Raheel Namer didn’t have to suffer the Plumed Punisher theme song.

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i love that phoenix refers to the show by it’s full title. that’s adorable.

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now what’s really confusing me is that that Photo of the fam is stated to have been taken during the Feast of whatever. Which is the same time-frame as Reely Real Name’s death. He’s alive in the photo, Behleeb is in the photo, and the Judge and his family are nowhere to be found. But all those things were huge parts of the case, and they couldn’t have eaten before or after because of the whole ‘you can only eat Ghingil for three hours on that one special day’.

am I missing something or going nuts??

that said I'm so glad i can finally present this photo. it’s been gnawing at me as much as the watch thing.

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“trademark topknot”

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OH PLEASE JUST LET IT END

ffjglk dlg ljlgkd   hey Tahrust do me a solid and just tell them how you died ok 

please i have a family

i have stomach ulcers

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oh

off-brand logic 

i totally forgot that was in this game too

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wow.

“hmm, there’s really nothing to suggest a murder other than the red water in the spring, which only Maya would see and probably not question (considering this isn’t her religion and she doesn’t fuckin know how that shit works) and said spring probably empties somewhere, since it would be swampy otherwise. let’s see... i can KILL MYSELF TO GIVE THE RED WATER A REASON FOR EXISTING or do literally anything else... WELP, BETTER FUCKIN KILL MYSELF. ALL HAIL THE REBELS!”

...well at least he saved maya from contracted a blood disease.

-

tahrust must be pissed that his death came to naught when his own rebel pals gave the secret key to a guy who sold them out in five seconds.

never gets to meet his child... never gets to see the revolution come to fruition... never gets to live happily with his family... all because he couldn’t think of any other solution to protecting that shitty hovel behind a rock.

kinda tragic.

wish i was less angry

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“there was no weapon at the inner sanctum...”

did everyone just forget the giant bloody murder statue???

-

pohl’fuckya sadmad

-

babe... oh no... don’t give yourself up like this

thats sad

dont 

i feel the sad now

shit

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“abbot inmee!! summon a physician at once!!’

HES DEAD

WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT WITH UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY DUMBASS

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“but murder sanctioned by the crown is still murder”

what’s murder sanctioned by a goddess? apparently you guys are ok with that one. oh unless it’s a goddess being channeled by a foreigner.

soerry im bitter about that one moving on now

-

he lunged at you from behind the stone slab?? nice trajectory moron

-

hang on a second he put reereenaymee’s body in the plaza before prayer time... with the dagger still in him??

HOW DID NOBODY NOTICE THE FUCKING DAGGER

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“you need not frame the accused for your crime”

for once Sadmad says something smart

-

honestly... suicide really wasn’t the answer. even if it was to protect your wife there were,,,,, so many other options

for example, realname’s last moments, as we saw, made it look like he was killed in the Plaza of devotion. You could have so easily made it look like he was murdered there, by some rando, during the rite. The kooraheen police fucking suck at their job, so it wouldn’t matter. but no; you had to die, and blame Maya.... because she was foreign. A foreigner who came to you for guidance and shelter. 

-

STOP AGREEING WITH ME SADMAD, I DONT LIKE YOU

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“You must use your law powers to make sure no more innocent people suffer under this shitty law!!

...like Maya did!! .......because of me!!

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i love that the excuse is like “there’s no way she could prove it was self defence in this government...” to make it all tear-jerking and point out how horrible and corrupt their legal system is...

...and yet, if we remember Reunion and Turnabout, which also included channeling and self defence... It was EQUALLY impossible for Maya to be cleared of the crime on self-defence charges!!

pot calling the kettle black, japanifornia!

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“lol sorry for almost getting you killed cause i couldn't think of a better plan than kill myself”

yea thanks tahrust, coo-al

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“I ask that you look after my wife”

er she’s... going to jail... she’s... been outed as a rebel... you do get that right

-

fuck you Tahrust, you made her cry

-

“now you can watch over me from the world beyond”

he cant actually, since they retconned spirits being conscious in the afterlife. good going, capcom.

-

oh man that cutscene was goofy. except for the crying

fuck you Tahrust

-

Maya: :D hOW y'all doin?!

also according to maya Tahrust didnt leave any regrets behind which means that he totally gives no fucks that his dumbass plan endangered Maya’s life and made his wife cry. Dick.

He doesn't even regret missing the birth of his fuckin child. Ass.

-

Sadmad: I owe a debt to you, one that I will return––

Me: Eat a rotten egg.

Sadmad: Wha-–

Me: Go on, master of putrescence. Eat a whole rotten egg. Consume it shell and all. You heard me. Insert the egg into your mouth and chomp down. Times ticking, I’m waiting.

-

i forgot about the stupid butterflies

-

“So I was thinking, Nick, the legal system here is really stacked agains the defence! It’s really unfair!”

YA DONT SAY

-

listen to this happy music playing as everyone is forced to come to terms with all this sad ass shit. also it appears we just forgot about that tiny matter of the government literally putting hits out. Rayfas dad. is doing this. Nobody gonna address that?? No? Ok

-

Maya: QUIT BEINA LIL BITCH

wait what 

what is this new sprite

eurhg i dont like it put it away

thats not maya thats a husk of evil

-

wow. rayfa didnt even know why maya was here training. the bullshit continues to flow...

-

Maya: deciding what is true and what is false for your people...

the actual truth and lies, right? RIGHT? MAYA???

-

ergh this is so... corny? schlocky? it feels forced

-

“Sorry for almost getting you killed anyway VIVE LA REVOLUTION”

-

Yay! It’s vore man!! i kinda missed his stretchy face.

-

oh well that

thats just a really anticlimactic reveal of Dhurke

like tada! there he is! and he's gone! whatever; he's just been talked about in hushed whispers for the last case or w/e!

-

awww the bailiff thinks he can catch a running rebel!! so cute~

-

“The Steel Samurai vs Dhurke the Rebel!”

MAYA. THE LAST FIVE MINUTES WERE DEVOTED TO EXPLAINING THAT THE REBELS ARE THE GOOD GUYS. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM???

-

i love that they keep hammering in that “maya has stayed maya”

see guys??? dont you just feel the magic of the trilogy??? ITS THERE GUYS WE SWEAR

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Welp, thats it for that case. Now back to America, to visit Athena and BK, and hopefully to read a more enjoyable storyline...