#Would also be hilarious if mike and william were like. Trying to save face and not upset evan (william bc he doesn't

[and-stir-the-stars]

hello i am reading dire consequence on ao3 and i have a silly little question

does mike come back as a ghost and does he get to have more evan bonding moments <3 i love their relationship

oh my gob if that happened imagine peepaw comin in the resturant too and then he finds! both he kids! and is like "hell yeah easy peasy" but uh :D so its like willy consequences but mike is there too and he is sad :D

ooo, cool! Really glad that you and others enjoy the ao3 series; I was a bit nervous about posting it onto ao3 because it's such a hyperspecific au, yk?

In my and @dire-kumori's tumblr posts about the au, Mike does come back as a ghost. His little brother is still traumatized, hurt, and alone, meaning Mike still has a lot of unfinished business attaching his soul to the earthly realm. However, Michael is also extremely traumatized and terrified of Evan after what Evan (unknowingly) did, so he keeps his presence a secret from Evan.

In an attempt to be there for Evan but have Mike also trying to keep himself safe, Dire came up with the idea of Mike possessing a plushie inside the Freddy's location because he thinks Evan doesn't really need a "brother" so much as he wants a "toy" to play with. (link to my rb of that post). This is a really fun plotline and I don't see myself changing it for the ao3 stories of the au, so you can safely assume that that's how I'll write Mike's ghost if I ever write a Dire Consequences post-death scene.

Evan doesn't actually realize that the talking plush is Michael, but to Mike's horror, Evan likes to *pretend* that the plush is Michael because he misses his big brother so much. Evan's having a hard time coping with the belief that Michael's ghost didn't come back, meaning his big brother chose to abandon him. Plush Mike tries getting Evan to just play games and forget that the big brother who abandoned him even exists because "your brother was awful and mean and isn't worth missing," but Evan is overcome with a little bit of guilt (he doesn't understand *how* he is responsible for Mike's death since he doesn't understand things like hunger or blood loss, but feels like he is responsible for hurting mike somehow and for making Mike choose to leave) and is overcome by a whole lot of grief.

I'm not sure you can consider any of that "brotherly bonding" though, lmao. But Mike tries his best to make Evan feel safe and cared for, and maybe through conversation, Mike starts seeing WHY Evan cares for his big brother so much beyond just "he's my brother" as the reason why. Maybe Mike gets a glimpse at himself through Evan's eyes, and the person he sees there isn't all that bad. Evan must have looked up to and loved Mike for a reason while Ev was still alive, even if Mike eventually turned from "grumpy and rough-around the edges but still kind older brother" to "blatantly cruel."

And to address your last paragraph: I hadn't put any thought to where William would be in this version of Dire Consequences, but the idea of William entering the location after Michael's death is so friggin cool??

Dire sent me an ask once and I responded by saying that maybe Plush Mike tries giving Evan "human lessons" and teaching Ev things what will and won't hurt humans, so that what happened to Mike will never happen to anyone else who should happen to stumble into the building (or to himself, should Mike ever choose to leave the plushie). Now I'm thinking about Plush Mike putting all this time and effort into teaching Evan what things will and won't hurt people and why he shouldn't want to hurt people, then William enters the location and Mike is like. "Hey Ev. Remember everything we've been talking about? yeah I'm gonna need you to forget all that just this once while we go play a game with Father, okay?"

Tho, I imagine Mike would be horrified and would want to keep Evan as far away from William as possible. Unfortunately for him, maybe Evan doesn't know about William's murders/isn't terrified of William from how William abused his kids, and Evan leaps at the chance to have his father back just like he wanted Mike back.

I'm also thinking about the absolute drama that would occur from William exposing Plush Mike's identity to Evan.

Evan didn't put the pieces together about this random plushie coming to life after Mike died, but William absolutely would. William might use the confusion, hurt, and betrayal Evan feels upon realizing Mike lied to him for so long to try manipulating Evan into doing what he wants.

Or, he could threaten Mike; Mike has some level of control over Evan now, so William could easily tell Mike "I will tell Evan what you are if you don't get him to comply with my wishes." That way he would have both Mike AND Evan under his control.

Gosh, how would William even respond when he walks into this location and finds Evan's ghost and Mike's corpse? If Evan told William what happened or if William put the pieces together himself, would Will immediately decide Evan can't be controlled and try getting himself out rather than risk his life? Although, Evan might not let him go. it depends on how scared of William Ev is from William's abuse when he was alive.

Would Michael try killing William before he can hurt Evan, or anyone else? Or would Mike be too afraid that William's soul wouldn't move on; would Mike be afraid of trapping William's ghost with them forever? Or would he not think about that until it's too late?

You have given me so much to think about, bestie; this is lovely

[aion-rsa]

Cobra Kai and the Legacy of The Karate Kid

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Since Netflix picked up Cobra Kai it’s been sweeping up viewership like Johnny on Daniel-san’s leg. When The Karate Kid debuted in 1984, it was a smash hit, delivering returns of $100 million on a modest budget of $8 million. It also earned Best Supporting Actor nominations for the late Pat Morita (Mr Miyagi) from both the Oscars and the Golden Globes. Miyagi was a crowning achievement for Morita whose career spanned 175 roles beginning in 1964. 

The Karate Kid was embraced by pop culture, redefining the martial arts genre. It had a profound effect on the practice of martial arts in the United States. The Karate Kid stands alongside Enter the Dragon and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon as a film that reshaped the way Americans viewed martial arts. Martial arts made an amazing leap, one of the largest in U.S. history, boosting the whole economy. Everyone who ran a Dojo during the mid-80s remembers what a windfall it was. 

The Karate Kid spawned three sequels, a cartoon series, a reboot, as well as several homages outside of the franchise’s canon that starred original cast members. Just like Bill and Ted Face the Music and Star Trek: Picard, the new series updates a time-honored franchise as Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) and Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) grapple with the drag of growing old along with a coming of age soap opera of the next generation. Easter eggs sell it to its loyal fanbase with nods of nostalgia while new teen characters share the spotlight to lure fresh viewership. The original cast keeps it genuine, abetted with cameos from other peripheral characters. Daniel and Johnny were career defining roles for Macchio and Zabka, something they’ve long embraced with many non-canon cameos since their last official appearance in these roles in 1989.

The Mr. Miyagi Tetralogy

The success of The Karate Kid guaranteed a sequel, so the bulk of the cast reassembled for The Karate Kid Part II two years later. It picks up immediately following the first film, in the parking lot immediately after the All-Valley Karate Tournament where Kreese (Martin Kove) punishes Johnny for losing, causing Johnny and his squad to leave Cobra Kai. However, Daniel and Johnny’s love interest, Ali (Elizabeth Shue), did not return. Ali is written out with a dismissive comment by Daniel about how she dumped him for a football player. Fans are clamoring for Shue to appear in Cobra Kai and the show references Ali repeatedly. Towards the end of Season 1, Daniel shows Johnny Ali’s Facebook revealing that she’s married and a doctor. The Karate Kid Part II, quickly narrows down to Daniel and Miyagi as they journey to Okinawa, where Daniel finds a new love interest in Kumiko (Tamlyn Tomita). 

The Karate Kid Part II did better than the original, earning $115 million worldwide. While it didn’t garner any major award nominations, it was well received. Since it was set in Japan, it hasn’t been referenced much in Cobra Kai beyond when Johnny’s son Robby (Tanner Buchanan) discovers Daniel’s den-den daiko (rotating hand drum). As an interesting side note, the sequel subtly revealed Mr. Miyagi’s given name in Japanese. When Chozen (Yuji Okumoto) picks Miyagi up, his name is written in Japanese as Nariyoshi Miyagi, which is only one character different than Morita’s actual Japanese given name, Noriyuki (Nari and Nori are alternate spellings of the same character, which means ‘completed’). 

The Karate Kid Part III also picks up where Part II left off, but it drops the ball. It delivered a disappointing $38 million box office and was the final pairing of Daniel and Miyagi.  Nevertheless, it is referenced by Cobra Kai almost as much as the first film. Daniel and Miyagi return from Okinawa to find the LaRusso’s residence at South Seas complex being dismantled. The implication is that it is to be demolished, and yet it appears in “Different but the Same”, the 9th episode of Cobra Kai (why the new owners kept that painfully 80s South Seas logo is incomprehensible, but it made for a good Easter egg). Daniel’s mom, Lucille (Randee Heller) appears in Part III, who has cameos in both seasons of Cobra Kai, but she is quickly written out, sent away to take care of Daniel’s Uncle Louie (Joseph V. Perry). It’s a short scene to set up Daniel living with Miyagi, but Cobra Kai picks up on it with Louie LaRusso Jr. (Bret Ernst), a pivotal character in Season 1. 

Kreese is supplanted by his fellow Vietnam veteran, Terry Silver (Thomas Ian Griffith) and Karate’s Bad Boy Mike Barnes (Sean Kanen). Both Silver and Kanan had authentic martial arts backgrounds so this installment had the best fight choreography. Ironically, The Karate Kid has had mediocre choreography throughout the series. After the initial film, Zabka continued to train under Pat Johnson, a genuine master of the Korean martial art of Tang Soo Do. Johnson was the choreographer and played the referee for the first three films. Fans complain that in Cobra Kai, Macchio still lacks convincing martial skills (he’s had 36 years to train). However, the Season 2 finale fight in Cobra Kai redeems the franchise with a brilliantly choreographed long take scene in the center of a massive brawl.

Part III flops on several levels. The over-the-top villainy of Silver was too caricatured, complete with the hackneyed ‘bwahahaha’. Furthermore, without Shue or Tomita, there’s no romance. Robin Lively played the new girl, Jessica Andrews, but she was only 16 at the time, and while Macchio’s babyface still allowed him to play a convincing teen, he was 27 so romance with a minor wasn’t an option. Nevertheless, Cobra Kai references Miyagi and Daniel’s Bonsai tree business from Part III with a chiding comment from Daniel’s wife Amanda (Courtney Henggeler) and the special Miyagi-do Kata that Daniel learns in the threequel is the one recited repeatedly throughout the series. 

The Next Karate Kid abandoned Daniel altogether to follow Miyagi’s new pupil, Julie Pierce (Hilary Swank). Despite being a total flop critically and financially, it’s Swank’s breakout role, and her budding talent shines, although not enough to redeem the film. What’s more, Miyagi’s given name is inexplicably changed to Keisuke. The new production crew apparently could not read Japanese.

The Saturday Morning Cartoon

Before Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, kids had to wait until Saturday morning to see cartoons. The Karate Kid was a 1989 Saturday morning cartoon series on NBC. It only ran for one season – thirteen 20+ minute long episodes – with none of the original actors voicing their characters. Daniel (Joey Dedio) and Miyagi (Robert Ho) were joined by a new character, kimono-wearing Taki Tamurai (Janice Kawaye), in a series-long quest to recover a small pagoda with magical powers. Their search took them around the world – London, Paris, Hong Kong, San Francisco, New York and more – a different location for each episode. The plots were all the same: the threesome almost recovers the pagoda, only to have it slip out of their hands again until next week’s installment. Again inexplicably, Mr. Miyagi’s given name was changed to Yakuga. In Cobra Kai, it is restored to Nariyoshi on his gravestone, meaning someone finally read the Japanese in Part II. 

The Karate Kid animated series was available on several streaming networks like Netflix, Hulu and iTunes, but all those services have abandoned it. It’s a weak show. The cheap cell animation is poor quality and horribly dated. Episodes can still be found on the web, but it’s not worth the search. It’s clearly outside of canon because there’s no magic in any of the live-action movies unless you count Mr. Miyagi’s magic healing hands, parodied in the first season finale of Cobra Kai. 

That Other Karate Kid

In 2010, a The Karate Kid remake starring Jaden Smith as Dre, the new Daniel, and Jackie Chan as Mr. Han, the new Mr. Miyagi. The project was met with intense internet backlash from the start. Even Macchio jumped on the critic bandwagon at first. In an MTV interview, as reported by Digital Spy, Macchio said “It feels pretty good that some people are pretty angry that they’re trying to remake The Karate Kid. It feels good that the public feels you don’t touch certain things. Sometimes you go back to that, and probably shouldn’t.” It’s ironic in the wake of Cobra Kai, but he changed his tune soon after Will Smith called him personally to ask him to advise Jaden. “He called and said, ‘Would you mind getting on the phone with my son?’ I felt like Yoda to young Skywalker.” Macchio confessed that his initial negative reaction was said too “candidly” and endorsed the project.  As the film’s premiere approached, more reporters reached out to Macchio to get his take. The Sun asked him if he might make a cameo to which Macchio replied (again ironically), “I have less of a desire to be in it or do a cameo because no one wants to see Daniel LaRusso in his forties. It would be like robbing the Karate Kid fans of their youth for me to be in it so I think it’s best to keep it separate.” Given the success of Cobra Kai, fans clearly want to see Daniel-san pushing sixty.

Another major issue was that all Asians are not alike. Karate is a Japanese martial art. Jackie Chan is Chinese and propounds Kung Fu. In Hollywood, the whole point of a reboot is to capitalize on the brand name, but naysayers complained that Karate was the wrong title for the reboot. Jackie wouldn’t be a sensei. He’d be a sifu. The title became so contentious that even the Wall Street Journal chimed in. 

Hollywood made a quick save for the title. When Dre’s mother Sherry (Taraji P. Henson) asks Dre about his ‘Karate,’ he replies, “It’s not Karate, mom.” The scene was strategically included in a Cinemark ‘First Look.’ And the title was changed for the Chinese market to Gongfu Meng (Kung Fu Dream). The Karate Kid was never released in theatrically China just like some 80+ Jackie Chan films were never released theatrically in the west so the brand name had no value. The Chinese version also added a finale fight where Han fights Li (Yu Rongguang), this version’s Kreese.

Jaden’s The Karate Kid is a complete reimagining of the story, like the Kelvin timeline in Star Trek or the Flashpoint timeline in DC comics. With a budget of $40 million, it earned $359 million worldwide making it the most financially successful installment yet. Naturally, talk of a sequel has been discussed, however last year, Jackie Chan said that any statements claiming that he would participate The Karate Kid 2 or Rush Hour 4 were “false”.

Beyond the Karate Kid Canon

Over the years, Macchio, Zabka and Kove have appeared in homages and parodies of the franchise. In 2003, Macchio and Zabka played themselves on How I Met Your Mother.  The episode ‘The Bro Mitzvah’ was about Barney’s (Neil Patrick Harris) bachelor party where he wanted to have the hero of The Karate Kid attend, so his friends arrange for Macchio to join the festivities. However, in Barney’s perspective, Johnny is the real hero. This ‘Barney wax on’ viewpoint is held by many fans, akin to the ‘Jar Jar Binks is a Sith Lord’ theory of Star Wars. In the Cobra Kai episode ‘Molting’ Johnny explains his take on the events in The Karate Kid. Technically speaking, Daniel’s winning crane kick should’ve disqualified him because strikes to the face are illegal. Daniel steals Ali and provokes Johnny, drenching him in the bathroom while he’s trying to roll a joint. 

For something completely different, an unauthorized musical spoof of The Karate Kid played at the off-Broadway Teatro la Tea in 2004. It’s Karate, Kid! The Musical featured Daniel-san, Johnny, Mr. Miyagi and Ali but Cobra Kai was replaced with the Bitchkicks. The show featured songs like “Damn You, Daniel-san”, “Wax On! Wax Off!”, and “The Way of Fisting”. 

In 2007, Macchio and Zabka reprised their iconic roles for the music video ‘Sweep the Leg’ by No More Kings. In the video, Zabka is a has-been living in a trailer watching The Karate Kid every day with his Cobra Kai buddies. Spliced with clips from the film, all the original Cobra Kai squad appears, Kreese, Jimmy (Tony O’Dell), Bobby (Ron Thomas) and Tommy (Rob Garrison). Even the South Seas condos are shown. Zabka wrote and directed the video. 

In another 2010 parody, Macchio plays himself in Funny or Die’s ‘Wax On, F*ck Off with Ralph Macchio’. Haunted by being typecast as squeaky-clean Daniel, Macchio struggles to sully his image to get more work in Hollywood. When Macchio tries to pick up a prostitute, she tells him to come back when he’s 18, to which he retorts ‘I’m 48!’ Molly Ringwald appears claiming that Macchio wanted to change the name of the Brat Pack to the Smile Bunch. There’s a reference to Jaden’s reboot too. 

Kove dove into replaying Kreese in 2011 with Comedy Central’s Tosh.0. In a segment called Web Redemption, host Daniel Tosh mocks a viral video by Josh Plotkin where he tries to break a board over his head. Kove and Ron Thomas appear in Cobra Kai gis in a breaking competition with a scoreboard that echoes the All-Valley Karate Tournament. And just last year, Kove donned Cobra Kai colors again for a QuickBooks ad in which he blames his aggressive teaching style on stress caused by not being able to manage his school’s finances. He drops comments like “Support the leg” and “More mercy” and goes so far to change the name of Cobra Kai to Koala Kai.

Cobra Kai is exactly where it needs to be on Netflix. The series is beautifully written and performed, coupling drama and comedy with bumps of action, all within bite-sized 20+ minute episodes. As its fan base continues to expand, so does anticipation for Season 3. And please, bring back Ali. Can’t Shue can take a break from The Boys? The final scene of Season 2 is such a tease, and after all that Johnny has been through in this series, he deserves a little mercy. 

Season 1 and 2 of Cobra Kai are now available on Netflix. Season 3 premieres on Netflix in 2021.

The post Cobra Kai and the Legacy of The Karate Kid appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[junker-town]

Is there a team that could sign all of the free agents and become a hilarious, collusion-busting super team?

Well, not all of them. But lots of them.

Every year, I write an article about the kind of team that can be cobbled together from the remaining free agents. Every year, I start that article by explaining some silly hypothetical scenario that would force a team to sign a dozen free agents or two. Every year, that little touch seems necessary.

This is not every year. Someone took the briquettes out of the hot stove and replaced them with a severed hand that’s frozen into an obscene gesture through rigor mortis. Everyone is blaming everyone else for putting the severed hand in there. The end result is that this is a much different exercise than normal. You aren’t just going to build a team to make you giggle in January. You’re going to build a team of All-Stars and dreams.

C - Jonathan Lucroy, $9M 1B - Eric Hosmer, $22M 2B - Neil Walker, $11M SS - J.J. Hardy, $1M 3B - Mike Moustakas, $17M LF - Carlos Gomez, $7M CF - Jarrod Dyson, $6M RF - J.D. Martinez, $22M

Bench - Brandon Phillips, $2M Bench - Cliff Pennington, $1M Bench - Chris Stewart, $1M Bench - Rajai Davis, $2M Bench - Jose Bautista, $5M

SP - Yu Darvish, $22M SP - Jake Arrieta, $22M SP - Alex Cobb, $17M SP - Lance Lynn, $17M SP - R.A. Dickey, $6M

RP - Greg Holland, $12M RP - Tony Watson, $7M RP - Sergio Romo, $5M RP - Peter Moylan, $3M RP - Robbie Ross, $1M RP - Chad Qualls, $1M RP/SP - Francisco Liriano, $4M

That’s a $223 million payroll, which ... isn’t ideal. And it might be a little more, considering that I pulled some of those numbers from unspeakable places, and I might be underestimating what Scott Boras still thinks he can get for his All-Stars. But if you wanted to cut some salary to get under the luxury tax threshold — Maybe go with Eduardo Nuñez instead of Moustakas, Jason Vargas instead of Alex Cobb, etc. — it’s possible, and you could still have a solid team. If you add up the projected WAR of that 25-man roster according to Steamer, you have a team that’s roughly as promising as the Twins, Diamondbacks, or Rockies.

The problem with this exercise is there isn’t a team looking to fill 25 different roster spots. There are teams looking to add some pieces here and there.

So what this article is suggesting is that there should be one team that picks and chooses the best $100 million spending spree from the above if they can afford it*. They can use the best of the remaining free agents to supplement the roster they’re already comfortable with.

* they can all afford it

Which team(s) should do it?

The super-rich team that doesn’t want to go over the luxury tax

Team: Giants

Needs: Two starting pitchers, a reliever, and a defensive whiz in center

Current payroll: $190 million

Players acquired in hypothetical spending spree: Yu Darvish ($22 million), Lance Lynn ($17 million), Tony Watson ($7 million), and Jarrod Dyson ($6 million).

Why they wouldn’t do it: [spits] Because they’re yella.

Or because they don’t want to go over the luxury tax threshold. The Giants are very keen on resetting their luxury tax penalties for next offseason, when they can at least tempt Bryce Harper like they wanted to with Giancarlo Stanton. This hypothetical $52 million spending spree would cost them $78 million in real money after the penalties, and their first-round draft pick would be moved back 10 spots next year. They would also lose $1 million in international spending money. Not to mention that they’re already going to owe $130 million to just six players in two years, and that’s without an extension for Madison Bumgarner. More long-term deals probably aren’t their thing.

But they would have a front four that would feature Bumgarner, Johnny Cueto, Jeff Samardzija, and Yu Darvish.

Still, this probably isn’t the team we’re looking for.

Unless they wanted to just sign Darvish.

I’d be cool with that.

The completely awful team that wants to not be completely awful

Team: Phillies

Needs: Starting pitching, relievers, maybe one more hitter

Current payroll: $44 million

Players acquired in hypothetical spending spree: Yu Darvish, one of Lance Lynn/Alex Cobb/Jake Arrieta, Mike Moustakas, maybe J.D. Martinez.

Why they wouldn’t do it: [spits] Because they’re yella.

But, sure, maaaaaybe they’re a little wary of handing out big contracts to veterans who are almost certain to decline. Maaaaaaaaaaybe there’s something in the back of their mind that’s preventing that.

But as of right now, according to Spotrac, the Phillies have the lowest payroll in baseball. That seems off. Even if they were one of the only teams to spend (on Carlos Santana) this offseason, they can afford more.

Imagine a lineup like this:

Cesar Hernandez - 2B Odubel Herrera - CF Carlos Santana - 1B J.D. Martinez - RF Rhys Hoskins - LF Mike Moustakas - 3B J.P. Crawford - SS Jorge Alfaro - C

And it’s backed by a rotation that now features Yu Darvish and at least one other name-brand starter. Nick Williams kind of gets hosed in this scenario, but on the other hand: J.D. Martinez. The Phillies’ payroll goes all the way up to, like, $110 million, which puts them in the same company as the Braves and Orioles.

In two or three years, there would be the same kind of dead weight on the roster that they just got out from under, and the Phillies are likely trying to set themselves up for a big deal to someone like Manny Machado or Bryce Harper, so maybe this isn’t the year to go bananas and build a team through free agency. Maybe they’re right to be patient.

But if they wanted to, they could be incredibly fun, and they could do it in a way that wouldn’t have any consequences at all for me, who is the only person that matters in this scenario. I think it would be fun. I wouldn’t face any of the consequences if it failed. Therefore, I think the Phillies should try it.

The low-payroll team with dreams of contending

Team: Twins

Needs: At least two, if not three or four, starting pitchers

Current payroll: $96 million

Players acquired in hypothetical spending spree: Yu Darvish, Jake Arrieta, and, hell, just throw J.D. Martinez onto the pile, too.

Why they wouldn’t do it: They should totally do it.

But the players the Twins would be messing around with are the ones who will come with the longest deals and most years attached. Darvish is going to get five years. Arrieta is going to want what Darvish gets. And I’m not sure if the Twins really need Martinez, though they’re one of several teams that could absolutely use him.

But look at this headline:

PECOTA pegs Twins for 82 wins in 2018

You don’t think that an extra six to 10 wins from a $300 million spending spree could help the Twins as currently constructed? It has to be at least tempting for a team that doesn’t have to worry about any long-term contracts right now. Here, take a look at the payroll they have guaranteed to players in 2019 or beyond:

That is, they don’t have any money committed beyond this year. They’ll have to pay Byron Buxton and Miguel Sano at some point, but they certainly don’t right now. This is why I figured they were going to spend a lot of money this offseason. The Brewers proved me right. Where are the Twins?

The Twins should do it.

Do it, Twins.

C’mon, Twins. Do it. No, no, no. Do it.

Buy them all.

It’s settled. The Minnesota Twins are going to save this offseason and create a hilarious, collusion-busting super team. They’re going to get two or three of the best starting pitchers on the market. They’re going to get the best hitter on the market, just because.

And we’re going to be forever grateful to them.

And when it all collapses in a heap of fire in a couple years, we get to whistle and walk away.

Still, do it, Twins. Do it.

[robyduncan]

Astronauts Who Won’t Fly and Killers Who Won’t Kill: William Peter Blatty and the second Exorcist film that wasn’t.

Overshadowed by its Exorcist siblings, the middle child of Blatty’s “faith trilogy” pries darkness out of the Devil’s hands and stabs it into the heart of men. __________

The Ninth Configuration is a special sort of triple-threat we don’t get to see very often in film: it seizes control of your visual field, bangs on your funny bone, and while doing so, raises questions about life, sanity, and faith that are hyper-relevant to our times. Now, this is a bold statement, given that most people have never heard of the film, much less seen it, and it ought to come with some sort of back up, so it doesn’t read like a bunch of pretentious, movie review hyperbole, right? Well, that is exactly the thing that makes this film so tricky… it is hard to capture in language. We’re all familiar with the concept of The Elevator Pitch: you try and trim all the fat and gristle off the concept of a story, and drive the remaining sharpened bone-spike directly into the mind of the person you’re talking to, in the hopes that it will stick. Usually, it is a pretty simple X-meets-Y-with-a-pinch-of-Z affair, but not with this film. The Ninth Configuration is a movie that seems very comfortable laughing in the face of every reasonable attempt to contain it in an elevator pitch. “It’s a film about the lunatics taking over the asylum. Only they aren’t lunatics. The staff are. Sometimes. Maybe.” Or perhaps “It’s an anti-war comedy, set in a gothic horror locale. With guys in Superman costumes. And… bikers.” Or maybe even “It’s the film that was supposed to be in between The Exorcist and The Exorcist III, but it was written before The Exorcist, and then rewritten after, and then filmed. But it’s about faith… and war… and astronauts… and… mistaken identity. But still about faith!” Given enough time in said elevator, attempting pitches to summarize The Ninth Configuration, one could reasonably expect to be carried off in a straightjacket, still talking about dogs performing Shakespeare and Superman rescuing Julius Caesar from assassination. And not only would it would all be true, it would  somehow be oddly understandable to anyone who’d seen it. So, we can safely say The Ninth Configuration is a strange film. I don’t mean strange in the usual artsy, incomprehensible way, that leaves you feeling dumber and less hip for having watched it and not understood . It does the dance of a late ‘70s/’80s anti-war comedy while infesting the plot of a military insane asylum story, being filmed on the set of a gothic vampire movie, where the director is having gaseous LSD pumped through the vents at intervals. And it appears to be all of these things in a tight, competent way, but I say appears because at its twisted heart, The Ninth Configuration is really a film about faith, inner demons, and maybe redemption. Maybe. But the consistent “What the Hell am I watching?” quality of the film can easily blind to you to the complexity going on under the surface. And… can, and has, made it hard to popularize via word of mouth.

On a first viewing – and this is definitely a film you should give yourself at least two runs through, if only to be sure you don’t miss anything while you’re laughing, cringing, or theorizing—Configuration seems to be a dark comedy about a military mental hospital full of officers who have either mysteriously lost their minds, or who have faked mysteriously having lost their minds: either way, the Pentagon wants answers to the “what”, and more importantly the “why” of their condition. Unsurprisingly, the military doesn’t like officers they can’t send to the field. We enter the story to find a veritable vaudeville cast of crazy patients, all awaiting the arrival of the new head psychiatrist for the facility, one Marine Colonel Hudson Kane. Kane, masterfully played by Stacy Keach  (known for his role as ‘80s TV detective Mike Hammer, and more recently for roles in Prison Break and The Bourne Legacy), manages to be calm, genial, and restrained, while also being tense, monotone, and menacing- he’s the ultimate blank slate that not only the patients, but the audience, winds up projecting their theories and interpretations on to… at least for the beginning of the film. 

A Monty Python-esque cast of crazies create a dark burlesquey backdrop for the interaction between Kane and the bombastically mad Captain Cutshaw, an Air Force astronaut who cracked in the capsule while waiting for launch on a moon mission, and had to be dragged screaming from the launch pad. Cutshaw is an amazing character, manic and cunning, played by Scott Wilson (who has been remarkable in everything from In Cold Blood to The Last Samurai, and currently plays one-legged Hershel Greene on The Walking Dead), and has set himself up as the ringleader of the circus that is the asylum. He enters into a  hilarious and infuriating therapeutic relationship with Kane, in which the more Kane manages to coax him out of his madman routine and get him talking, the more Cutshaw and the rest of the patients-slash-inmates of the asylum begin to suspect that Kane may be the least sane out of all of them.

A perfect example of this is what we’ll call “The Hammer Scene.” When Kane stops an enraged, hammer-wielding patient from knocking holes in a stone wall to find out what he is doing, he doesn’t bat an eye at being told that the wall’s molecules are disobedient, and therefore need to be punished. Instead, Kane responds by suggesting that the hammer is the source of the problem, and requests in a creepily calm, unphased monotone, that he be allowed to take it for study. In that moment, we see the line between sane and insane start to blur: is the patient really demented or just a faker? Is Kane just playing along to get the hammer, or is he really considering the possibility of disobedient molecules? The only answer we get is a silent stare at the camera from the now hammer-carrying Kane, and a building suspense that pushes us closer to the edge of our seats.

THE HAMMER SCENE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi5D03-KARM

As the film plays on, Kane and Cutshaw’s states of mind are revealed to us a piece at a time: tense and heavy dialogue here, a psychedelic visual display of delusion there, and a dream sequence, or is it a flashback, fitted in to keep our heads spinning. Through it all, the story of Cutshaw’s launch pad breakdown is pieced together, and the cracks in Kane’s stony façade begin to grow, until we wind up caught in a disturbingly funny vortex of mistaken identity, demented therapy techniques, battlefield trauma, and an absolutely brutal biker gang bar brawl. What start out as chuckles at the antics of the inmates begin to become nervous, slightly uncomfortable laughs: slowly, a scene at a time, the realization dawns that nothing is quite what it has seemed. A story that felt familiar, about how man’s actions can destroy his psyche, and how helping others might be able to repair it, begins to become something else. Give the film a second watch, and the pieces start to fall into a different pattern… especially if you know a bit about the making of the film, which is arguably as crazy as the plot itself.

Written and directed by William Peter Blatty, best known for having penned The Exorcist films, or at least the original and third, The Ninth Configuration was written before, and rewritten during, the writing of The Exorcist. Like The Exorcist, it was originally written as a script, even before the novels were written: Blatty was a screenwriter first and novelist second, quite literally. This is extra-weird, because according to Blatty, The Ninth Configuration should really be viewed as the “middle-child” of his Faith Trilogy, sandwiched between The Exorcist and The Exorcist III, two straight up horror films with little of the comedy we see in Configuration.A former co-writer on Pink Panther films, Blatty manages to bounce from horror to comedy and back artfully, which winds up making Configuration a sort of a “film negative” version of the concepts at work in The Exorcist. Rather than a film about boundless supernatural evil directly impacting the lives of innocents until faith and sacrifice save the day, Configuration is a film about personal evil, how one copes with it, and how personal sacrifice can sometimes save a person’s faith. Or at least, it might be that, depending on how you hold it up to the light, and how hard  you shake it. Where William Friedkin’s direction of The Exorcist conveys Blatty’s plot and theme with a needle point, Blatty’s direction of his own work in Configuration is a more spastic-with-a-shotgun affair, which he still makes work.

Armed with these details, the movie hits the mind’s eye differently. The  insane Captain Cutshaw (rumored to be the same astronaut character that Devil-possessed Regan from The Exorcist told he would die “up there” ) fights tooth and nail to avoid talking about why he aborted his trip to the moon, all the while deflecting by harassing Kane for his open Catholic faith. To Cutshaw, Kane seems deluded: the old classic problem of evil, of how there can be good in a world so full of violence and suffering, makes Kane’s quiet faith seem ludicrous. To Cutshaw, strapped to the top of a rocket, staring up at the dark, the stars and spaces between are not some beautiful, almost-out-of-reach features of Creation… but a cold, lonely place to die.

WHY WON’T YOU GO TO THE MOON: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfHH6mWPTRY

Kane, who has his own tortured reasons for being obsessed with the healing of the patients at the asylum,  sees care for others as the only path away from evil, and potentially the only path to redemption out of his own darkness. Watching the comedic banter fly back and forth between them, we get to see Blatty recreate the essential trying-not-to-crap-your-pants  tension from The Exorcist, but without the need for a Devil or God at all. Both men have inner demons aplenty to drive the plot, and the weapons used this time around are wit and banter instead of Bibles and holy water.

Managing to be funny and brutally honest at the same time as being deeply philosophical and chillingly creepy is a Hell of a hard thing to pull off, but Configuration pulls it off. In addition to all the mental fuel you need to get your brain spun up and twitching, you also get a script full of almost endless quotables, trippy visuals, and a deviously twisty plot. Totally worth the time invested to take it in, but remember, you’ve been warned: try not to explain it in elevators.

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Domi Suspension, Reinhart Signs, Real-Time Defencemen, and More – September 21

  Only two more weekends and then the NHL season arrives! If you haven’t had your draft already, it’s coming soon, and time to brush up on everything you need to know for the season is running out. Get to the Dobber Shop to get your copy of the 2018-19 Dobber Hockey fantasy guide now!

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For those with Max Domi drafted already or in their dynasty leagues: he was suspended for the preseason for his sucker-punch on Aaron Ekblad. No regular season games. The punishment is hilarious, but fantasy-wise, it means nothing. Moving on.

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After signing his contract two days ago, Sam Reinhart returned to Sabres practice yesterday. He did not, however, line up with Jack Eichel. That spot was left to Jason Pominville, while Reinhart was skating alongside Patrik Berglund. The plot thickens.

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Interesting Leafs note to pass along:

Mike Babcock says the original plan was for Auston Matthews to move to net-front on the power play this season. But in recruitment process, John Tavares was asked where he’d like to play on and he replied net-front. That’s the look the Leafs plan to start with.

— Jonas Siegel (@jonassiegel) September 20, 2018

The problem for some Leafs players over the last couple years has been PP production; the Marner unit was great, the Matthews unit was not.

Reading between the lines here, once their exhibition rosters resemble someone we might see opening night, could the Leafs move to a heavily-used top PP unit, rather than splitting units we’ve seen under Babcock? If all the Leafs top offensive players were on one PP quintet, rather than two, it would significantly change the fantasy outlook for a few of them, namely Auston Matthews and William Nylander (once he signs). It would also hurt whichever defenceman is not on that unit.

We’ll have to wait and see.

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Yesterday, I mentioned Aaron Portzline’s report on Zach Werenski’s shoulder. Today, Portzline reported the blue liner got the go-ahead for light contact. Everything is progressing nicely.

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Let’s talk goalies for a second.

Fantasy hockey owners are a pretty savvy bunch of hockey fans but the ability to project goaltenders is still an issue for all of us. It’s still an issue for NHL teams, too.

Let’s take a look at different sources around the industry for goaltender rankings prior to the 2017-18 season:

theScore: 1) Sergei Bobrovsky, 2) Braden Holtby, 3) Devan Dubnyk, 4) Matt Murray, 5) Carey Price, 6) Cam Talbot

ESPN: 1) Braden Holtby, 2) Carey Price, 3) Matt Murray, 4) Sergei Bobrovsky, 5) Cam Talbot, 6) Martin Jones

The Hockey News: 1) Braden Holtby, 2) Carey Price, 3) Matt Murray, 4) Sergei Bobrovsky, 5) Cam Talbot, 6) John Gibson

From those three sources, eight unique goaltenders were ranked among the top-6 goalies. How many of these eight unique goalies finished as a top-6 goaltender in a standard Yahoo! league? Precisely one: Bobrovsky. Gibson and Dubnyk were both top-10 goaltenders, the only others of the bunch to finish in the top-15.

In fairness to us here at Dobber, our draft list had just one goalie ranked in the top-6 to finish as a top-6 goalie (Bobrovsky), but also had Rask and Dubnyk at least finish among the top-12 at the position.

This is just a single-season sample, but the turnover at the top is persistent. Among top-6 goalies in 2016-17, only one also finished as a top-6 goalie in 2017-18 (Bobrovsky).

Goaltender is a very difficult position to forecast. There is a lot of randomness, even when facing 2000 shots, and this randomness can hurt: Brian Elliott had a .926 save percentage at even strength last year, the same as Jonathan Quick and Devan Dubnyk. He had an .812 save percentage on the PK however, which murdered his overall save percentage. Elliott hadn’t had a PKSV% that low in nearly a decade, had been at least .873 every year since the lockout, and his previous three seasons were .873, .907, and .881.

There’s a whole other argument about a goaltender’s ability to make saves on the PK that I’m not qualified to debate. All the same, had Elliott’s PKSV% been anywhere near his last three or four years, we’re having a different conversation about his fantasy ranking today.

That’s why I’m very wary of any goaltending drafting ‘strategy.’

“Just draft goaltenders off good teams.”

Ok, we did that last year. Some people thought Edmonton would be good, but sorry about those Talbot shares. Even when the team is good (Washington won the Stanley Cup!), it’s no guarantee of goalie performance.

“Draft goalies with a reliable history.”

Ah yes. All those 2017-18 Carey Price shares work out well. Same with those 2016-17 Henrik Lundqvist shares.

“Grab those shares of young goalies on the rise!”

Matt Murray in 2017-18, Connor Hellebuyck in 2016-17, Petr Mrazek for both those seasons. Maybe you get John Gibson but with Anaheim’s aging and injured core, how good do you really feel about him this year?

I’m not agnostic about goaltending. Some goalies are more talented than others and these goalies become regular starters while others fight for jobs. All I’m saying is that when you’re trying to predict how 50(ish) goalies will perform in the course of a single season, it is very hard to do so with any sort of confidence. If I draft Patrick Kane in the second round, I can feel pretty confident in the fact that he won’t completely bust. If he’s healthy, Kane will almost certainly give you 25 goals, 70 points, three shots a game, and 20+ PPPs. If I draft Braden Holtby, Frederik Andersen, or Pekka Rinne in the second round, can I have the same sort of confidence? Not a chance.  

I do target starters from teams I think will be playoff teams. I just won’t spend a top pick on them. I won’t have many teams with Andrei Vasilevskiy or Connor Hellebuyck, but I will have a lot of teams with Tuukka Rask, John Gibson, and Martin Jones.

One type of league that I will say my attitude differs is in leagues that count totals rather than ratios. That is to say, for example, leagues that count total saves rather than save percentage. Frederik Andersen may not post an elite save percentage, but he’ll play a lot of minutes for a high-scoring team that should play at a high pace. That means a lot of shots, which in turn means a lot of saves. A .918 save percentage might not stand out, but 2000 saves will.

Anyway, I’d like to hear thoughts from the Dobber community on this. What are your approaches for drafting goaltenders?

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Real-time stats like hits and blocked shots are very important to fantasy value. Hits are now part of Yahoo! standard leagues and hits/blocks are becoming more and more prevalent. I wanted to provide a handful of defencemen to target late in drafts. Once the top-40 or top-50 defencemen are off the board, pickings get slim, and guys that can help in these categories can help fill the void left by more offensive defencemen that might leave a void in one or both. Someone like Erik Karlsson doesn’t provide a lot of hits while Oliver Ekman-Larsson doesn’t provide a lot of blocks. Filling these stats later is paramount to a balanced fantasy roster.

  Robert Hagg (Philadelphia)

While we just have a one-year sample to work with here, Hagg’s real-time stats were incredible for just 70 games at 18 minutes a night. He managed 100 blocked shots and a massive 238 hits. He finished top-10 in the league in hits, just 40 back of Nikita Zadorov despite playing over 220 fewer minutes than the Other Big Z. A full season at 19-20 minutes a night should only help not only replicate but improve those numbers.

  Jakob Chychrun (Arizona)

He may be a popular pick among some people but the fact remains by ADP across the major sites, he’s not being drafted with any regularity even in 15-team leagues with six defencemen on the roster. For his career (118 games), Chychrun is averaging 119 hits and 127 blocked shots every 82 games. The concern about knee issues and his readiness for the season are legitimate questions, but he’s not a guy who will really have any cost on draft day. In 12-team leagues, you can literally get him with your last pick. If things don’t look rosy after the first few weeks, you can cut bait and hit the waiver wire. But if things go right, he can put up 30 points with triple digits in both real-time stat categories.

  Neal Pionk (NY Rangers)

Unless some streak of incredibly good luck hits Manhattan, the Rangers are going to be bad this year. They’ll have a good top line, good top PP unit, a couple exciting young players, but they’ll likely be bad. The upside to playing for a bad team is lots of opportunities for hits and blocked shots. Those to things only occur when you don’t have the puck and the Rangers figure not to have the puck a lot this year. Pionk had over 40 hits and over 40 blocks in just 28 games last year, not to mention 14 points and nearly two shots a game. The plus/minus is an issue but even 25 points with stout peripherals should help deeper fantasy rosters.

He just needs to make the team.

  Alec Martinez (Los Angeles)

It wasn’t long ago this guy was considered a top-40 defenceman in fantasy leagues. Even after the addition of Dion Phaneuf around Valentine’s Day, Martinez still managed over 22 minutes a game for 26 games, totalling 34 hits and 52 blocked shots. He will likely surpass triple digits in both categories again this year and can do so while posting 25-30 points. His declining shot total is a concern but with a healthy Jeff Carter and addition of Ilya Kovalchuk, hopefully this team is a bit deeper offensively, which should help Martinez generate more offence.

  Stephen Johns (Dallas)

I’ve written about Johns a couple times this year, but I wanted to note him again because I’m cooling off a little on him right now. Dallas’s game a couple days ago against St. Louis had Miro Heiskanen skating with John Klingberg and then a defence pair of Esa Lindell and Julius Honka. That could conceivably be the top two pairs for Dallas, which means less ice time for Johns. He’s still cheap in drafts so it’s not a season-killer if he doesn’t pan out. We’ll see how the defence pairs slot here soon.

  *Some stats from Corsica, Natural Stat Trick, and Frozen Tools

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-domi-suspension-reinhart-signs-real-time-defencemen-and-more-september-21/