#YOURE the reason i have xyz habit with my romantic partner

[overcrowded-camp]

well here’s the thing. durge arrives at gortash’s coronation and they know they should bring their companions with them because, well, he’s one of the guys controlling the nether brain, and all of this is a big deal and very confusing. but this coronation feels private. it feels like something they don’t want to share. it feels like something they can’t name (or won’t admit to themselves).

so they leave their companions outside. “i’ll be back in five minutes, if you hear fighting come running” type deal. great. they go into the coronation.

on the other side of the room, at the end of this red and gold aisle, is this man. he’s scruffy and well dressed and unmistakably enver gortash. then he notices them and he smiles. and suddenly all of these emotions come flooding back. fondness, and familiarity, and a terrifying swell of affection and rightness. like the feeling they get coming back to camp after a hard day, but so much more.

the room gets quiet. people are staring. durge walks down the aisle to enver gortash (and they can’t shake the feeling that this, more than the atrocities they’ve committed and their determination to be good despite it all, is their greatest sin yet).

he tells them about their plan. about how clever they were. about how terrible orin has been, and what the consequences will be if they can’t get the brain back under control. and he doesn’t say it out loud—won’t in front of so many others, or simply cannot bring himself to—but they can read him like no one else they’ve ever met, and it is clear in his voice and in every line on his face and each gesture of his hands that he has missed them.

but they’re back now. no more tolerating orin. no more revisions to plans made for two. no more lonely late nights. the two of them will unseat their gods and rule the world. together.

[ivesambrose]

Hey jove can I ask you a question? since u do tarot & more knowledgeable spiritually than me, I wanted to know whyy spirit keeps sending me signs practically everyday that my tf & I are gonna get back together romantically. in angel numbers or in readings, the message is ALWAYS the same, most resent saying shes “choosing me” over her karmic. But currently her and her karmic are still together despite their rocky relationship &passing chances to break up. Spirit has me rlly confused -alyssa

Firstly, thank you for trusting me with your ask :)

And no it's definitely not that I'm more *insert anything* than you are, lovely. You have just as much of a strong intuition should you trust it.

So here's my two cents based off of my own theories and hunches,

Your readings are assuring you and now it's time for you to affirm yourself over it. It's always the same because likely the big picture of this is the same. It's the future you've chosen for yourself in some shape or form. Likely you know the goal that you would like to unite with her, yes?

Now you're also getting signs but what you're seeing in your current reality isn't the messages you have been getting.

What if, your guides or your ancestors are trying to tell you to slowly detach or ignore this current reality?

A karmic is a karmic for a reason. Likely she's teaching your person that hey you cannot keep going back to Rocky relationships or situationships because you're addicted to the pain or addicting to fixing things when what you should fix is your heart and mind. Highly likely this is something your person will one day wake up and realize and hey you know what I have xyz pattern that is not benefiting me, its time to let go.

Who knows maybe subconsciously she's choosing you?

Sometimes people can be in connections that are rocky and often find themselves drawn or in love with someone else that are better for them but keep trying to find sense in said karmic situations. It doesn't work like that. I believe such situations exist so you break a detrimental cycle that has to do more with you than any other person involved.

So when you meet them again or unite they aren't replaying the same pattern or habit they picked up from a previous partner or circumstance.

My stance on twinflames is very different, but I do believe when they unite they radiate a very different kind of glow and contribute to the better of the society or environment in some shape or form. It may be something very small as feeding stray animals together but it comes from a place of love and change.

I know it's very easy to get worked up in labels, in signs, contradictions etc but breathe deeply and ask yourself, do you not have power? Isn't it wonderful knowing the bigger picture or just reminding yourself, "regardless, I know how this ends and where the new chapter begins." ❤️

Hope this helps, Alyssa xo

[zygomatic-process-2018]

Don’t make life even harder than it already is.

The past 2 years have been pretty enlightening. One thing that I had to start practicing is recognizing when I’m being hard on myself. I often times think that I am in an imaginary contest with a timer. I have to get XYZ done before I’m 35 or everyone will see that I’m not normal. And I can’t have anyone think poorly of me! My ego won’t allow it.

Well, that’s an eloquent way of saying that I spent hours comparing myself to other people on social media, staring at pics of models convinced I could NEVER look like that, and I was obsessed with what celebrities did to look so perfect all the time. At one point I texted my stylist and asked how I can make my hair look like it didn’t have flyaways. Her answer: Mary, Tina’s hair is impossible for all women. **I had no idea other people knew what the hell I was getting at! I also love that people in my life are brave enough to tell me to put my expectations in check because I’m asking for the impossible.

So, I would spend excessive time watching how other women lived their lives and I beat myself up about my inadequacies that hold me back from perfection. I compared my partner to other people’s partners, friends were compared, outfits...basically all nouns. Was I successful enough? Was my partner picture perfect? Did I look flawless? Is the party perfect? Did everyone check-in. Did everything look presentable?

This is unfair to do to anyone, especially yourself. It doesn’t yield productivity; it breeds negativity. If you haven’t figured it out by now, a positive attitude makes all the difference in life changes. How you deal with adversity reveals your character and your willingness to acheive your goals. If you give up because you had a hardship andd were negative about it, you haven’t learned anything. You’re too blinded by emotions to hear the Universe. You are looking at the wrong thing. I get it: it’s easier to judge and focus on someone else’s life. But your goal isn’t to change someone else. Your goal is to change YOU. So how exactly are you changing YOU if you’re focused on what everone else is doing?

What really helps is tracking quantifiable things. This means: find a way to track the important things in a way that shows how much effort you’re putting in. Focus on tangible actions and hit the daily/weekly/monthly goals of tangible actions.

Here are some actions I have practiced and have helped me make progress very quickly:

-eat 3 salads per week

-floss 5 times per week

-drop petty fights 2 times this week (yes, this is a goal because I HAVE to be right. This goal was hard)

-meditate once per day for 5 mins

-floss once a day

Now these actions aren’t exactly the goal right? Well yeah! These are habits and building habits is foundational to change. Habits have to be practiced consistently for them to work positively. Now the individual actions you are doing HAVE to contribute yo your goal. These actions should be small friction points that you want to change; if changed, the changes help you get your ultimate goal. Start small. It’s easier to make lasting change if you start small and do it for a sustained period of time before adding more. For me, at first I started with a month long habit change. As I got used to change, I started some longer ones that required diligence and some real short ones. When you hit these individual actions, you get a small Win! Everyone needs a win, no matter how small. How great if you made your small wins contribute to the bigger goal! That’s how you stay positive. You win small, you fail a lil, learn a lot, build a new habit, have a small win and the cycle goes on.

When you track these small wins, create visuals for yourself. You may want to consider using poster board and markers. Get fun with it. Treat yourself like a toddler who has a chore chart. Chore charts work for a reason right? So make one for yourself and retrain yourself kindly as if you were a child learning how to take the trash out consistently. Focusing on individual actions requires for you to practice mindfulness. If you’re out there flailing around without structure or direction, you’re gonna have a real hard time feeling comfortable let alone able to meet your goal. So what if you need a chart? Is your ego that big that it only takes a poster board and some markers to stand in the way of your goals? Bruh, no, just no. Now you’re just making up excuses to stay stagnant.

Once you start looking at tangible actions, you can see where your old behavior wants to creep up. You can pause and choose not to act on emotion. You can take a conscious action. But first, let’s be kind to ourselves. Negativity brings nothing of use to the table and honestly, it makes people want to run from you.

I once had a friend who didn’t feel she was worthy of a relationship. She didn’t go out and say that. She would say things like “I’m just a cat lady.” Or “I never meet anyone great.” “I’m too old.” “I can’t do another break-up.”

I think it goes without saying that this person stayed stagnant and has built an isolated life.

She lacked the ability to see that she was putting herself down everytime she did that. She would almost want me to agree with her and point out reasons why I should agree that she is unworthy of a romantic relationship. I’m not that person. I will never agree that you are unworthy of happiness. Even more concerning is her inability to see that mere passing thoughts were the things setting her back from happiness. She would look longingly at others in relationships and repeat these things over and over. One may make a pretty accurate observation: she repeated them because she felt that she had to convince herself that she is ok being single forever. She obvi was not if she had to talk about it all the time.

You cannot achieve happiness if you’re constantly fighting the world to agree with your low self-esteem. It’s hard to have a friendship that way, let alone a romantic relationship. Forget about weightloss. How can you lose weight if you’re sitting there telling yourself and everyone around you that diet and exercise won’t work for you? How can you do anything if you spend excessive time acting this way?

One day she will get out of her own way. I know it because that was me once. If I can do it, you can too.