#You fuckers can’t judge it anyways let he who is without sin throw the first stone and I know damn well you’re not without sin

[darby-derby]

This shit gets like 5 notes I’ll release the worst draft that I’ve been cooking up 🔥🔥🔥

[ragnarockz]

Not Forgotten 

The Walking Dead (Season 8). 

One shot (Negan, Father Gabriel, Lucille, Rick, Eugene, Carl, Daryl).

Angst, Drama

PG 13+ Swearing

Shout out to @lezzymothra- just because 💖

“Forgive me Father for I have fucking sinned! Time and time again…I’m sure you’re well aware of what I’m talking about…you know the shit we’ve both done that got us both here, right now in this moment,” Negan glanced over at Father Gabriel who remained calmly seated in his chair.

           There was a war raging outside and the two of them had both ducked into the same house, unknowingly, for a few seconds of cover. Those seconds had become minutes now.

           “I don’t know why I didn’t kill you the first time I saw you back at Alexandria…I thought it was some fucking sick joke to have some asshole dressed up and walking around like a goddam priest to remind everyone of the goddamn rapture! But shit…here you are a real, fucking priest!”

           He was laughing now as he fixed his scarf, moving Lucille carefully over to rest on his opposite shoulder. Gabriel didn’t even bother to flinch at the weapon; it was less terrifying than Negan’s words at the moment.

           “Shit, Gabe…how many people have come to you since the end of the world to confess…just about fucking everything? That must wipe you the fuck out? I mean shit, can you believe you’ve moved on from cheating spouses to spouses now killing one another because even in the afterlife they still can’t get along!”

           His laughing became stronger, louder as if he was trying to remove himself from the joke. Gabriel looked up at him finally, trying to read the expression on his face that surpassed his laughter. There was something about the way he said spouse and afterlife that threw him off, something about the way he took Lucille off of his shoulder.

           He shifted in his seat and silently cleared his throat before sitting up straight, trying to look Negan in the eye.

           “Would Lucille want you to confess to me about all that you’ve done?”

           The tension in the room seemed to ebb and flow, unsure if Negan was going to beat him to death or get on his hands and knees and as him to clear his conscious. He couldn’t read the leader of the Saviors and it seemed that there was a nerve he had struck, the same one that struck any time even Negan himself said the name ‘Lucille’.

           “You know, she fucking would but she’s dead and I am not playing into the same goddamn game she used to play when she was alive…fucking…repenting and asking for forgiveness about shit you can’t even take back or change anyway. What good is it! You do shit, that shit brings out consequences and you and other people have to fucking live with it! That’s it! No fucking take backs!”

           Negan had a very good point, a valid point. However, he wasn’t going to just let him win this or even let him win all the pain and suffering he made so many people endure, including his family; even the dead. He had more to say and the longer he was stalling Negan inside; the more he hoped that the fighting on the outside was turning over to their favor.

           “She died before the outbreak or early on when it started? Carl, Daryl…they’ve told me about the wives. We’ve all heard the name Lucille…you still have a slight tan line around your left ring finger…it doesn’t take much to see past this façade you’ve created for yourself, around you…”

           Gabriel quickly rose from his seat and walked towards Negan without falter or cowardice. Negan was no stronger than any of them, even though he tried to pass along as someone who had lost no one to this apocalyptic world. All of them had lost someone or something, all of them had decided to move on and find strength in the ones left behind. Negan was doing the opposite and he was burning himself out, with no cause or direction for any of this, merely just to pass the only thing untouched: time.

           “You must have loved her a lot or blamed yourself for her dying…something is still holding you back that you didn’t get to move on from. You even named…your weapon after your wife, what does that say about you? About your situation? It says nothing about her; she’s not here to speak for herself.”

           Gabriel didn’t even bother to let Negan reply, even though he had opened his mouth and tried to become intimidating, trying to retain the image he so perfectly created for those in Alexandria, the Kingdom, Hilltop and even Sanctuary.

           “You have all of these people out there, fighting…for what, Negan? To bring her back? Do you not see how selfish you are? You don’t want weapons, food, ammunition…you don’t need Eugene’s expertise or even Rick’s wit; you need your wife back. You’re nothing without her and you’re still nothing with her gone.”

           Gabriel stepped away and backed up, turning to sit down onto his chair. He was watching everything from the time they heard the name ‘Negan’ being spoken about like some deity up until now, unfold and unravel. Everything Negan was or had become or tried to retain was taken out of the bag. Gabriel knew his weakness without Negan even doing much to admit to it. He could read people like books left open for all to see, he was good at that even if he rarely said much about people’s characters. Who was he to judge?

           Negan tried to twist his face into some unmoved, cheery and self-confident character as he slung Lucille over his shoulder one more time. She looked heavier now and even his shoulder seemed to sag with the weight of that bat and that name’s reputation. He was done for, he was throwing in the towel right in front of Gabriel’s eyes and the both of them knew it.

           “…We’re both going to go out there, and fight. Your people and my people. You against me and me against you and whatever happens, whoever walks away from this…there’s only going to be one, Father. Only one of us will know but even still, one of us will still hear her name…even way after us, she’s going to remain like all the greats throughout history. All the fuckers we had to memorize for school and tests…all of them. She’ll be that even if I won’t be. Rick already said it, Gabe, “We’re already dead.” Maybe he was right. We all are…unless, someone keeps remembering us, and then we won’t be. She’s not.”

[thehobbblog]

Entry #14

AIR SWEET AIR SWEET FRESH fucking underground bullshit air But at least it’s moving. As usual, the Underground as a whole is unimpressed with our actions. Life goes on, no matter what happened to the Moloch, or how silly we looked down there. All that matters is that we remember it, and we got some stuff. There was a nice example of how little anyone gives a shit, just outside. A Devily lady, on her way back from Exile. Said her “Companion” was a Daredevily. This made the party suspect, and the idiots got all in her face and berated her for like, six minutes. Apparently, Daredevelies are a thing that exist. They’re like Develies, but they get off on sinning. Or something. Or maybe they sinned so much that they’re mind and body changed. I dunno. The party seems to think they’re serious business, and Alice is still livid to the Violence one. I don’t think I wanna ask. In addition to existing, they have a settlement nearby. That if we were to go any further into the Exile, we’d have to pass through. So you know, windows up and don’t stop I guess. This Devily lady had a companion in the settlement, and made us swear not to kill him. We have no way of knowing which one is him, so I guess we’ll just not kill anyone. Regardless of Alice's whining. Anyway, we quit antagonizing the civilian, and she left. Avram finally got reception on his PAI, which buzzed to life. It’s cute, really. I like robots, and this was a tiny little AI. Promised to help. Avram installed Devily Google on the thing, and then we googled basically nothing important. And Anna hates birds, which is weird for a druid. Weylinn tried to embarrass me in front of the new guy, by calling me paranoid about not trusting the Sakko we saw at the camp. And then gallantly led the party in the wrong fucking direction back to Sakko’s camp. Where I was totally fucking right. Everyone’s gone, except Goldie and Geheim. Sakko wasn’t Sakko, it was VIolence. ANd now all the plants are tearing ass across the Underground, and we gotta get them. Because I missed the damn “Detect evil dudes” or whatever this bullshit I’m supposed to do. I fucking hate everything. Fortunately, real Sakko was there. To further embarrass us that we ever thought that Violence was Sakko; the guy’s like, twenty feet on each side. Carries a sword that’s just a sharpened chunk of mountain. I’m not fucking around, it’s like some childhood hero wandered out of storybook and started giving us orders. He’s giving us a cart, and lobsters. Lobsters that can carry the cart int he desert we’re about to go into. Desert lobsters, if you will. King was present, apparently he and Sakko know each other. King took responsibility for Alice’s curse, as well as Avram’s. Which is fucking curious, because not a day ago King had no earthly idea what Alice's curse belt did. Sakko tried to remove them both, but only got Alice’s curse cured. Which is fair, Avram sort of deserved his. But, enough fucking around. Sakko hadn’t forgotten why this all happened. He asked for apprentices on the radio, and I showed up. There were lessons I had to learn, and redemption with the plant people had to wait.  True to his storybook nature, the task was needlessly complicated, but presented straightforward. I was to make my way--alone-- to a group of Hidden Ones, and offer my assistance. Climb a mountain, get a Phoenix egg and come back. Putting aside for a moment that fucking phoenixes exist, and are apparently just like a thing that you can stumble into, how the fuck am I supposed to climb back down the mountain with a flaming egg? Nobody said this Paladin shit was supposed to be easy, but fuck me, you know? Well, I was off. Made it to the cliffside, met the Hidden Ones. Apparently their bugs were getting upset, and rhythmically pounding on their mountain side. Said that if I were to remove the phoenix egg, they’d stop. Sounds cool, right? I get a Phoenix egg, and they get to not have a mountain fall on them? Fucking scary they have bugs that can knock over a mountain, and they just raise those bitches. But you know I’m not one to judge. I am absolutely one to judge. Stupid fucking bug farmers and thier big ass murder bugs gonna have to learn to solve their own problems. Or at least act grateful when I solve their stuff.

One of them looked alright actually. There was a lonely bat dude staring off the cliffside, sort of lost. Introduced myself, told him that if he hears me screaming not to fret, Paladins being a pillar of strength and all. And then I climbed the fucking cliff in full fucking armor. I’m glad I didn’t bring the Corbin, because it sucked super hard. On the other hand, I scaled a fucking cliff in full fucking armour, so that was cool.  The murder bugs were on top of the cliff. Like I was told, they didn’t attack because I kept eye contact. However, these bugs were familiar. You remember the Dungeon Breaker bug, that scared the shit out of us in the Halls? They were like, bigger ones of those. Didn’t wanna fuck with it, so I left. Got to the top of the mountain, found the egg. Luckily it wasn’t on fire or anything, unluckily I wasn’t the first one to the egg. There was a Devily there, waiting. Unlike most Develys, this one was smiling. Had one horn. Had a pure vacume of all moral radiation, a whole lot like what I got off the fake Sakko. “Great” I thought “I’mma bout to die to give Alice a less petty reason to chase this fucker.” Well, no sense going out like a hero in his company. If nobody’s around I’d rather go out like a bitch, honestly. We stood around for a while, and had a discussion about how much pain one would ‘hypothetically’ be in if they were thrown off the mountain, and how pretty it would be to die there. I tried to get the guy to yodel for me, actually. He was using the shit excuse of being a Devily who’s really into mountains so I tried to roll with that. Ended up just annoying him. Like, to the point he was clenching his teeth and shivering. I guess Paladins aren’t supposed to fuck about when they get the chance to be the big hero. In his plan, I supposed to declare him a sinner and smite him like a hero, or pick up the egg and get pushed off a cliff like an idiot. I guess he didn’t know me very well. He eventually broke character, and we got to talk honestly for a bit. He made me two promises. 1. He was going to beat the everloving shit out of me 2. I was going to die I asked if he’d reconsider throwing me off the mountain, but he was a little more interesting in the “tearing my entrails out” thing. And the fight began. He popped a potion, whatever that does. And I stabbed him. He was pretty impressed, actually. Apparently he took me for some sort of bitch who lets everyone solve his problems for him. I’m not that kid anymore. I stabbed him a second time, Deeper.  I’m such a fucking idiot right? “Just stab the bad guy, Hobbs. It isn’t hard.” And it wasn’t. He scratched my face, chest and arms in a flurry of strikes. I smiled, I laughed and I bled. He was invigorated by this, taunting me and my hopelessness. I stabbed him a third time. Twisted the blade. I get it. I’m a fucking idiot. I get that I overthink things. And I get that I can’t hide behind indecision forever. I can’t fuck around and pretend that thinking about problems is the morally right thing to do. People are in danger, and I’m responsible for them. I decided Violence was going to learn one thing today: what it means for me to carry my sister’s name. And then he ripped my throat out. The leathery bastard just kept speeding up. He had such a flair for the dramatic, I could always strike him, but the asshole could just move so much in so little time. Without a shield, or neck armor I was an open book. Claws cut flesh, and I choked on blood. I backed up, used the Paladin power to heal myself. I needed to breath if I were to hit this guy. My heels were at the edge of the cliffside. And Violence tore into me again. Promising that if I could just survive, he’d let me go. How gracious.  And I didn’t die. So he kept his word. This Violence guy, he means what he says. He said he was going to kick the shit out of me, and he did. He said he’d let me go if I put up a fight, and he did.  He gave me advice. I’m not sure I should be listening. But I did. I took it to heart, and for that reason I won’t share it. You didn’t earn it like I did. Fuck it’s beautiful up here. I got a picture actually, I’ll upload it when I figure it out.  I think I could live here. Wake up every day to this. Well, the bat people would mind. Maybe I could just die here. Fall asleep, staring at the open expanse of what could have been. All of it equally possible, nobody blames me for not doing it. I didn’t die up there. But I almost wish I did. After a good long sit, I got up. I wasn’t missing anything important anymore, and I was alone with the egg. The egg that wasn’t a phoenix egg, because Violence had planned this. The egg that was planted there by the bat people, as a Maguffin to have me killed. The egg I was taking anyway, because I fucking earned it. The daydreamer bat showed up, actually. Explained the whole thing. He assured me that it wasn’t personal, that his people needed the money Violence gave them for this stunt. And I really didn’t care. I didn’t care if I died, and I didn’t care I was still here. I had a job to do, and he needed forgiveness. I gave him the forgiveness, and he showed me the way down without climbing the mountain.  I got to camp, everyone was fine. Only Sakko cared about how it went. Alice got riled up about Violence being there, and started her “I’m really the good one here” shit. Sakko healed me up, and taught me a proper lesson. He taught me that patience is a virtue, and one not to be wasted. That forgiving the bat people was a mistake, and if I were to forgive Violence I’d be a fool. But I really only had enough energy for one lesson today. .