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Here are the most relatable depictions of women masturbating on TV and in movies

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

For too long, female pleasure was portrayed on-screen through the prism of the male gaze. 

When it came to TV and movies, scenes portraying women masturbating were basically straight out of a male director's sexual fantasy. More often than not, the woman would writhing around on her back and she'd usually begin moaning the moment her hand came into contact with her vulva. If only it were that easy. 

Truth is: We don't masturbate like that. We're not always thrashing about on our back making loud fake orgasm noises. It's usually pretty mundane and unglamorous. And we can get pretty creative with positions and props depending on how we're feeling. 

SEE ALSO: This sex toy company uses niche meme accounts to spread the joys of masturbation

Thankfully, times are changing. TV and movie depictions of self-love sessions are becoming more realistic, more anatomically accurate, and much, much more relatable. 

We've ranked some of the most iconic on-screen female masturbation moments for their realism and relatability. 

Samantha's priest fantasy in 'Sex And The City'

Sex and the City's Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) did a lot of good in smashing the stigma surrounding female sexuality. But, it needs to be said that some of the orgasm scenes were a tad melodramatic. In "The Agony and The Ex-tacy" Samantha meets a good looking priest who she quickly dubs "Friar Fuck" — only problem is, this friar won't, uuuh, fulfil her fantasy. Samantha ends up masturbating about him, during which she breaks out into a full-on operatic orgasm. If only masturbating were actually that good.

Marnie's bathroom break in 'Girls' 

In Season One of Girls, Marnie Michaels (Allison Williams) does something many of us have but dreamed of doing. She becomes so aroused after talking to bonafide arty douchebag Booth Jonathan that she has to go masturbate in the bathroom of an event space. "I want you to know, the first time I fuck you it might scare you a little because I'm a man and I know how to do things," Booth says to Marnie. Soon after, Marnie locks herself in the loo, puts her hand down her tights and cracks one out while standing up. I mean, it's a great idea in principle, but who among us has ever had great success masturbating in an upright position (not me!). 

Betty Draper and the washing machine 

In Season 1, episode 11 of Mad Men, we witness Betty Draper become overcome with horniness after meeting a good looking door-to-door salesman. After he asks to come inside to measure windows upstairs (we've heard that one before), she decides against it and instead asks him to leave. Once he's left she begins fantasising about him and rubs herself up against the vibrating washing machine. Anyone who's ever tried this move at home will know that it's a nice idea in theory, pretty anti-climactic in practice. 

The cry-wank in 'Mulholland Drive' 

Naomi Watts' masturbation scene in Mulholland Drive is not bad. It's free from all the inauthentic thrashing around that you often see in porn, and all you see is Betty (Naomi Watts) sweaty, pained expression (accurate) as she makes repetitive motions with her hand down her unbuttoned trousers. The only thing we'd change is the fact that she's aggressively crying. I'm just not one for masturbating when I'm upset.

Naomi Watts in 'Mulholland Drive' in 2001.

Image: Studiocanal/REX/Shutterstock

The giant vibrator in 'Slums of Beverly Hills'

Back in 1998, long before Russian Doll, Natasha Lyonne was already making quite the impression on screen. In Slums of Beverly Hills, Vivian (Lyonne) decides to try out her cousin Rita's (Marisa Tomei) massive vibrator. One tip though: Try not to use other people's sex toys. 

Image: Fox Searchlight/Kobal/REX/Shutterstock

The bidet in 'Broad City' 

When it comes to portrayals of sex and masturbation, Broad City is a damn delight to watch. Free from the male gaze sex scenes of old, Abbi and Ilana have sex and masturbate like you and me. Ilana's bidet scene was a wild, wet ride — the only note I'd give is that if she'd turned her body around to face the tap, she'd have a better chance of having an orgasm. But, hey, whatever floats your boat (or bidet).

Ilana Glazer told Out magazine what makes Broad City's portrayals of female desire just so brilliant: "It's like these girls are horny but not under the male gaze. They're horny, period. Just starting from the vagina, not starting from some man looking at them."

The 'Black Swan' 'bating sesh 

All too often, on-screen depictions of female masturbation show women in the same position: lying on her back with her legs spread apart. Newsflash: we don't all masturbate in the one position. That would be pretty boring. This scene gets bonus points for showing a woman masturbating in the face-down position, which is a pretty popular position that you don't often see in TV and movies. 

Image: Fox Searchlight/Kobal/REX/Shutterstock

Aimee's first time in 'Sex Education'

You always remember your first time. The first time you wank, that is. When Sex Education's Aimee Gibbs admitted that she'd never had to masturbate before, wannabe sex therapist Otis stepped in to offer up some advice. "So you're prescribing a wank?" she asked him. Correct. 

Aimee's first time has a familiar feel to it — she tried out a bunch of different positions like she's on a voyage of orgasm discovery. When she finally comes, she has a sudden pang of post-orgasmic hunger. We've all been there, Aimee. 

Aimee discovers the joys of masturbation.

Image: netflix

The pillow hump in 'The To Do List'

Aubrey Plaza stars as virginal valedictorian Brandy Klark who decides to draw up a list of sexual escapades to complete before heading off to college. In the film, we see Brandy masturbating by riding a pillow, which frankly you don't see often enough in movies. 

Aubrey Plaza and Rachel Bilson in  'The To Do List.'

Image: Kobal/REX/Shutterstock

The dead battery in 'Insecure'

In Season 1, episode 3 of Insecure, Issa goes to grab her vibrator only for the batteries to die pretty much immediately. Obviously, she doesn't give up on that dream straight away, so she trawls through her apartment looking for batteries and yelling out "fuck!" when she fails to find one. It's a highly relatable moment, to say the very least. 

Issa Rae told Glamour about the significance of this moment: "In the [writers’] room we were talking about what it feels like to be thirsty and how we don’t really get to see female characters masturbate. Even in a funny way. Especially black women! So we wanted to portray that, while remaining true to our show and showing sexual frustration."

The Obama speech in 'Fleabag'

Anyone who's ever masturbated with a computer in front of them will be all too familiar with the specific laptop-wobble that comes, uhh, hand in hand with the act of self-love. 

In Series 1 of Fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge brought us a refreshingly honest masturbation scene. Not everyone can attest to having masturbated to Barack Obama delivering a speech about democracy while their boyfriend's asleep in the bed next to them, but this particular masturbation scene felt mundane and real. There were no writhing around or fake orgasms in this scene, just a woman wearing her pyjamas masturbating noiselessly under her duvet as her laptop moved up and down with her hand. 

Puberty hits in 'PEN15' 

Puberty is rough. Especially the rush of extreme horniness that comes with it. Episode 3 of PEN15 features one of the realest depictions of teenage self-exploration ever shown on TV. 

When Maya Ishii-Peters (Maya Erskine) first discovers the wonders of masturbation, she can't stop herself from doing it all the time (who can blame her, tbh). But, Maya also feels ashamed of what she's doing — a feeling that many of us can identify with. "I'm a pervert, and I really shouldn't be doing what I'm doing," she tells her friend Anna. "I've been putting my hands down my pants — my area — down there to feel good." 

The episode is about learning to masturbate without feeling shame — which is a rite of passage that's not often talked about, let alone shown on our TV screens.

Happy masturbating! 

WATCH: Consent-oriented condom packaging says four hands are needed to open it, but then again – maybe not

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How VR porn can change the way we masturbate for the better

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

When VR was tech's pie in the sky years ago, people's minds ran wild imagining all the new ways it could get us off. But then VR actually came, and largely, there wasn't all that much to cum about.

Instead of opening us up to new, previously unimaginable forms of self-pleasure, for the most part its nascent existence has been little more than an extension of the clichés we've come to expect from Tube sites. Whether it's the rote 360 3D VR porn made most accessible through sites like Pornhub, or the more interactive adult VR games about customizing your own virtual sex doll — many criticize VR porn for being even more limited to the cis, heteronormative male gaze than regular porn.

But that's finally beginning to change.

"In the early days there was a concern that, if there's only a handful of people making content, they'll only make content that appeals to them or who they envision their consumers to be," said Ela Darling, a pioneer in the VR porn space as a performer as well as CMO of adult-only VR platform PVR and its IRIS headset. "But now there are more and more newcomers making diverse content, because the tech's finally making it more accessible to create."

As it turns out, there are untold, untapped possibilities for VR to transform the way we masturbate. And while the same problems from years ago remain, a new swath of VR porn is delivering on the medium's greatest promises, allowing for more intimacy between player and porn viewer, embodied experiences, better storytelling, and virtual explorations of kink. 

From the impressive furry VR game Yiffalicious or innovatively kinky Dominatrix Simulator, some of the most popular virtual reality adult games are being made by small teams of indie designers sustained through niche, yet dedicated, Patreon communities. In the realm of live-action performances, PVR is about to launch a novel series of ASMR VR porn, with a gender-neutral design focused on sensorial experiences. 

"What's most important to creating engaging adult content in VR is not a perfect pair of boobs you can play with. It's about erotica, creating experiences through storytelling," said Ana Valens, a game designer and Daily Dot columnist covering trans experiences, sexuality, and VR porn. (Note: The author of this article knows Valens socially.)

VR porn needs to move past the infantile stage of pure gimmick or odd sex toy to become relevant.

"And that's the direction the industry seems to be heading towards as people realize, OK, this isn't enough," she said.

The virtual reality porn gap

The current issues keeping VR porn from reaching more innovative, varied, and inclusive heights are reflective of the regular porn industry it grew from. But in VR porn, the issues of inclusivity are only exacerbated by the additional gatekeepers of tech, cost, and access.

Most mainstream VR porn is exclusively heteronormative and cis-gendered, assuming the user is male and excluding trans identities. This is likely driven by who has the resources, not only to have VR but to also make it. While the diversity of audiences is increasing through niche communities, the prevailing consumer base remains cis men. 

VR can be more than a virtual sex doll for men.

Image: bob al-greene / mashable art team

"Many VR porn creators seem less focused on exploration and possibly self-discovery, and more on simply getting off. That's fine. It's just not what we're all about," said Devilish Domina, who is the mind and voice behind the Dominatrix Simulator. "It seems like developers in this space are more opportunistic than seeing it as an art form. And because it tends to be a more taboo area, it likely doesn't attract as many experienced developers."

How the indie scene can save VR porn

While the norms of regular porn define the offerings of bigger, more traditional VR porn publishers like Naughty America, creators like Dominatrix Simulator's Deviant Tech are carving out their own space with their own growing audience.

Unlike many other VR games (erotic or otherwise) that assume you're male, Dominatrix Simulator gives you the option between two genders — and is currently working on adding non-binary options due to fan requests.

Worship her — or just take the headset off if it becomes too much.

Image: deviant tech

But that's not all that makes Dominatrix Simulator a beacon of innovation and sexual exploration in VR porn games. 

In the game, a femme-dom (who comes in four different varieties) tells you what to do. While you get some dialogue options to communicate consent, the idea is that the dominatrix basically inhabits the role of the player, while the person wearing the headset becomes her game as a submissive, flipping the traditional adult video script of the player being in control. She knows whether or not you've obeyed, too, since the motion controls can detect whether you're kneeling like she commanded, for example.

SEE ALSO: Naughty America is betting big on VR porn at SXSW

"It's no longer just about your alone time at night getting off," Valens said. "It allows you to explore what it means to be a submissive, or in a BDSM relationship. What does it mean to play an adult game when you are not the one in charge? VR is perfect for that kind of question because BDSM is such an embodied experience."

While Dominatrix Simulator delivers an immersive BDSM simulation, it's also a tool for dipping your toes in BDSM rather than trying it first IRL.

"One of the things we've been most excited about with creating a VR submission experience for players is how safe it can be for new people to delve into kinky experiences, experiment being controlled in a really safe way, and enjoy themselves in the privacy of their own homes," said Devilish Domina. "Submitting isn't always easy. Being kinky or queer isn't always easy."

But in VR porn, you can let loose in ways you wouldn't imagine doing in real life. Also, unlike healthy BDSM relationships IRL, you can quit the virtual session whenever you want without needing to go through the usual steps with a partner, like aftercare (the term used for the check in stage after the roleplay is done). 

"With our game, people are gaining confidence in their bodies and their interests. Many of them are taking risks and talking on our server, asking the 'newbie' questions, and venturing out to find others in the real world," said Devilish Domina. "And we hope to keep offering this kind of sex-positive space."

Much like a dominatrix, the simulator, "gives players the chance to experiment with letting go, giving in, and, ultimately, giving themselves permission to enjoy their bodies and their pleasure," she said. "We tell players to get naked. To show off. To touch themselves. To orgasm. We give them permission to let go." 

As with many indie adult VR games of its kind, the Patreon community around Dominatrix Simulator is not only integral to funding their work but also to creating the diversity of content that VR porn deserves.

Who knows, maybe you're into being a furry? No harm in trying.

Image: Yiffalicious,  Craket

"The fan community is absolutely critical for the indie and non-mainstream VR porn scene," said Devilish Domina, pointing to others like Yiffalicious and Virt-a-mate. "Fans with VR rigs know how small the market is to them for games, let alone VR porn, so they are a generous bunch who want to help fund new projects."

Aside from exploration, though, there's also an educational element to the best kind of VR porn.

Darling saw the potential for adult-themed VR as a form of social learning. She helped create a VR dating simulator of sorts, set in a rainy cafe where the viewer would get to talk to a holographic capture of herself and other performers.

There wasn't any actual porn involved, but if the player handled the situation well, they could get more forward and sexual with her. Their ability to broach the topic, though, was reliant on an invisible point system that accounted for whether the player chose to first engage in polite conversation rather than immediately jump into inappropriate or even mean behavior.

"If you said anything like that before you had established a rapport with this holographic person, she'd be like, 'You know what, I'm going to go.' We even put in a functionality where it would detect where your gaze was focused, so if you're staring at my tits my holograph would be like, 'Excuse me, my eyes are up here," she said. 

The erotica of embodiment, environment, and intimacy

For a long time, Darling dominated the camgirl VR scene because she emphasized intimacy with the viewer.

"What works best in VR isn't these, you know, Olympic-style sexual scenes of extreme, graphic aggression. It's the ones that feel the most intimate and personal," Darling said. 

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New job, who dis? I’m officially the Chief Marketing Officer of PVR, an awesome adult VR headset/technology company!

A post shared by Ela Darling (@eladarling) on Jul 26, 2018 at 9:37am PDT

When it came to the new ASMR series, establishing that relationship was the central direction director Anna Lee gave all their performers. ASMR is already intimate itself, but VR brings a whole new level of closeness. "Incorporating the really cerebral aspects of ASMR with the visceral VR experience deepens and heightens that connection," said Darling..

That's true for the more game-ified adult VR experiences as well, though obviously in a more fantastical context.

"World-building is really important to creating arousing experiences. Mainstream porn has set a low bar for what is possible," Devilish Domina said. "But with this kind of immersive playground, we can make all fantasies into realities. We can let our players be someone they are not, like how people swap genders in games all the time ... We have had so many requests for experiences players just cannot have in real life."

And for sex columnist Ana Valens those possibilities are also in a way what makes VR potentially so valuable to the queer community.

While the world of VR is still severely lacking in queer content, some queer women have taken to adult games like Honey Select, which allows them to customize every minute detail of a virtual woman. But it still assumes the player is male, and that both participants are cis.

"One thing that's bummed me out a lot about these adult VR games is that there's just no bodies like mine. It's just not there. I'm not gonna find it. It's just not what the priority is because, again, VR porn is mostly made for men," Valens said. 

That's a particular shame, too, since VR as a medium is defined by its capacity to let you inhabit other bodies. That's an invaluable experience for someone who has never felt at home in their real-life body.

VR porn has come a long way since its earliest days of being just Tube porn on a Google Cardboard headset. But somehow, we're more ready to explore hardcore fantastical furry sex before approaching experiences grounded in the actual realities of trans people's embodied experiences.

"I don't know when we're going to see more queer VR games," Valens lamented. "We do see some, but adult queer VR probably won't happen for a while."

The good, the bad, and the future of getting off in VR

VR porn is far from having reached the height of its potential, with too many practical issues (like availability) to address before it possibly ever could. But some creators and a willing audience seem equally invested in seeing its freak flag fly. It feels like we've never felt closer to watching adult-themed VR flourish into something great.

The Deviant Tech team is already looking into how to implement remote controlled toys tied to Dominatrix Simulator's game controls ("think buttplug.io," Devilish Domina said.) 

"We hope that our game kicks off a whole new niche in VR of self-loving, self-empowering porn — where, in the privacy of their own mind, people can experience their fantasies and explore new ones," she said.

But she is also cautious of certain aspects of VR porn, particularly its incredible power to allow users to lose themselves in those fantasies.

"The more immersive and realistic a game is — the more it makes a player feel — and the more addicting it can become. Porn is already a very addicting medium and many people find their relationships challenged when one partner is compulsive in their porn usage," she cautioned.

Similarly, Valens notes that VR porn will be defined by the ethics of the people wielding that tool.

"As the technology gets better, it becomes a tool, and a tool can be good and a tool can be bad. Tools that enter the hands of bigots or people that hate women are going to be used horribly," she said. As an example, she pointed to Studio FOW, a notorious hyper-realistic form of animated porn known for its extremely brutal, horrifyingly graphic, and unbelievably popular content. 

There's another worry, too, that this burgeoning indie adult VR game scene will be squeezed out by big developers who limit the tech.

"Inevitably, VR porn will mainstream VR in general. And then VR companies will want to move to a closed garden format, like Android or iPhone," said Valens. "That would mean that the kind of resources needed to make VR porn would stay in the hands of these really privileged developers rather than being shared with marginalized people."

A towering, giant VR Dominatrix shows VR porn's potential.

Image: deviant tech

But Darling is confident in VR porn's mainstay power among fans, who seem more than willing to pay to ensure it addresses various kinks and desires.

At its worst, VR porn can be just more of the same — if not even worse at objectifying women by turning them into literal objects to be manipulated and controlled by presumably male players. But at its best, VR porn is beginning to open doors to an endless possibility of new and progressive spank bank material.

"The world is changing. People want bodily autonomy. Sexual autonomy. And we want to see VR porn and adult experiences encourage this," said Devilish Domina. "There is so much potential for educating people about their bodies, letting them try different relationship styles, be different people, and give them the chance to discover more about themselves in a safe, non-judgmental environment."

WATCH: VR is helping amputees feel their prosthetics as if they belonged to their bodies

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We Photoshopped an alternate cast of Avengers who almost got the roles

Avengers stans know the end is near, which means it's time to go back to the beginning. The very beginning.

In honor of the highly anticipated film, Avengers: Endgame, Marvel fans are reminiscing over just how much our heroes have grown since their first appearances on-screen. But we want to take you back even further that that — to the casting decisions.

We've come to know and love characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe so deeply that they feel almost irreplaceable. Chris Evans is Captain America, Chris Hemsworth perfectly embodies Thor, and Scarlett Johansson brings Black Widow to life. But the MCU group could have looked totally different today if casting directors had decided to go with some of the other talented actors who were up for the roles.

SEE ALSO: 'Avengers: Endgame' dazzles with epic and emotional world premiere

Here's a wild glimpse at what our Marvel Cinematic Universe could have looked like, had 12 crucial casting choices been different.

John Krasinski as Captain America / Steve Rogers

Blond, buff, and beardless Captain Krasinski.

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Since the 2011 film Captain America: The First Avenger, the adorably charming Chris Evans and his beard have truly mastered the role of Cap. But the patriotic, shield-wielding hero could have been played by my ultimate crush, John Krasinski. 

In 2016, The Office star told Conan O'Brien he auditioned to play Steve Rogers back in the day. He even tried on the freaking suit, but ultimately took himself out of the running after seeing a jacked Chris Hemsworth walk by and losing confidence. Since 2011, Krasinski's bulked up for roles in 13 Hours and Jack Ryan. He also grew a great beard, so we have no doubt he could have played a buff, bearded, and perhaps funnier, MCU hero.

Other rumored names considered for Cap include Friday Night Lights star Scott Porter, Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford, Magic Mike's Channing Tatum, Garrett Hedlund, Michael Cassidy, and Wilson Bethel. Even Sebastian Stan, who was eventually cast as Bucky Barnes, tried out for the part.

Tom Hiddleston as Thor

"Hey can someone help me with this hammer?" - This Thor, probably

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Karwai Tang/WireImage

Chris Hemsworth has a build, a voice, and a gorgeous head of hair that all scream "Thor." And yet, some other people still had the audacity to try out for the role. 

One of the most surprising was Tom Hiddleston, who I simply can't picture as our king of Asgard and God of Thunder. Hiddleston was instead cast as Thor's brother, Loki, which suits him marvelously. But let us take a moment to imagine what he would have looked like as the mighty hero.

Other actors almost worthy of holding Thor's hammer were Alexander Skarsgård, Charlie Hunnam, and Joel Kinnaman. Not to mention, Hemsworth's very own brother, Liam, auditioned to play Thor, which, I will admit would have been pretty interesting.

Emily Blunt as Black Widow / Natasha Romanoff

"No. Shan't!" — Black Widow to the bad guys

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Steve Granitz/WireImage

Scarlett Johansson plays the character Natasha Romanoff remarkably, but it turns out Emily Blunt was the original choice for the role of Black Widow in Iron Man 2.

Sadly, Blunt was under a contractual obligation with 20th Century Fox to star in the movie Gulliver’s Travels, so she couldn't sign on to the Marvel film at the time. And though Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Eliza Dushku also showed a serious interest in the part, Johansson ultimately stepped in.

A (super) power couple.

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Noam Galai/WireImage

Rather than starring alongside each other in Marvel films, Blunt and Krasinski went on to co-star in Krasinski's hit horror film, A Quiet Place, so everything worked out. Even so, our trusty Senior Illustrator, Bob, created this couple composite to emotionally torture me and also give you all a look at what could have been.

David Duchovny as Hulk / Bruce Banner

"The truth is out there."

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

Fans may recall Edward Norton played Bruce Banner in the 2008 film The Incredible Hulk, but he wasn't Marvel's final pick for the Avengers films. A lot of drama surrounding Norton's relationship with Incredible Hulk director Louis Leterrier and his negotiations with Marvel were reported, but Mark Ruffalo was ultimately signed.

Since we already know what Norton looks like as The Hulk, we decided to Photoshop David Duchovny, who was also rumored for the role at one point in time.

Timothée Chalamet as Spider-Man / Peter Parker

Oh will wonders ever cease?

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Gregg DeGuire/Getty Images for Turner

Forget Tobey Maguire, Tom Holland is our Spider-Man now and we adore him. But Spider-Man also could have been played by Call Me By Your Name cutie Timothée Chalamet, who auditioned for the part along with others like Josh Hutcherson, Nat Wolff, Liam James, and Asa Butterfield.

My initial thought was that Chalamet wouldn't be dorky enough to play Spider-Man, but now WHO KNOWS, because he really pulls off the suit.

Zachary Levi as Star-Lord / Peter Quill

"Forget Fandral, I'm Star-Lord now." — Zachary Levi in a spaceship

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Victor Chavez/Getty Images

We know Chris Pratt completes the MCU Chris Trinity as Star-Lord, but Chuck and Marvelous Mrs. Maisel star Zachary Levi was interested in the role back in the day, and honestly? He might've been great.

Actors like Jim Sturgess, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lee Pace, Joel Edgerton, Jack Huston, and even Eddie Redmayne were also associated with the role early on, but Pratt joined the Guardians of the Galaxy family, while Levi went on to star in Shazam! and play Fandral in Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok.

Olivia Wilde as Gamora

It ain't easy being green.

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images

We all know Gamora as the brilliant Zoe Saldana, who memorably stood up to her adopted father, Thanos, in Avengers: Infinity War. However, the green Guardians of the Galaxy character was reportedly offered to House star Olivia Wilde.

Nicolas Cage as Iron Man / Tony Stark

Iron Man and Star-Lord plotting to steal the Declaration of Independence.

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images

Since Robert Downey Jr. played Tony Stark in the 2008 film Iron Man, we couldn't envision anyone else in the maroon and gold suit. Perhaps least of all, Nicolas Cage. And yet, he was one of the names rumored to be in the running.

Sam Rockwell and Tom Cruise were also on the list, but, I mean, we really had no choice but to Photoshop Cage.

Saoirse Ronan as Scarlet Witch / Wanda Maximoff 

"Call me Scarlet Witch like you said you would" — Saoirse as Wanda Maximoff, channeling Lady Bird

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Isabel Infantes/PA Images via Getty

If Elizabeth Olsen hadn't been cast as Scarlet Witch we might have seen Lady Bird star Saoirse Ronan join the MCU family... maybe. 

Rumor has it that Joss Whedon had Ronan in mind when scripting Avengers: Age of Ultron, and the young star appeared to show interest in a role, saying, "I love Joss and I love those films, and I love his handle on them and how he portrayed these kinds of superheroes. So yeah, I’d love to be in it."  

Later, Ronan reportedly passed on the film, which is when Marvel decided to cast Olsen.

Morris Chestnut as Black Panther / T'Challa

Could've been king.

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Paras Griffin/Getty Images

Chadwick Boseman absolutely slayed as T'Challa in Marvel's hit film Black Panther, and we can imagine no one better suited to rule as king of Wakanda. But in the name of Photoshop, here is Black Panther reimagined as Morris Chestnut, since he was among the names associated with the role.

Josh Hartnett as Loki

Whatever.

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Charley Gallay/Getty Images 

Tom Hiddleston, who thankfully was not cast as Thor, was cast as Loki. But if Hiddleston didn't snag the role, it seems Josh Hartnett could have stepped up and took the villain's greasy black wig for a spin. Hmm...

Joaquin Phoenix as Doctor Strange

Why so serious?

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Isiah Trickey/FilmMagic

Benedict Cumberbatch has nailed the art of portraying strange on-screen, so it's no surprise he shines as Marvel's Doctor Strange. But the casting list for Stephen Strange was ridiculously stacked. 

Joaquin Phoenix was one of the top contenders for the part, but explained in an interview with Little White Lies that he felt he made the right move in turning it down, explaining, "I think everybody was really happy with how things turned out. All parties were satisfied."

In addition to Phoenix, Jared Leto, Ewan McGregor, Oscar Isaac, Matthew McConaughey, Ethan Hawke, and Jake Gyllenhaal were also reportedly considered.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Ant Man / Scott Lang

Honey, I shrunk the JGL.

Image: Mashable composite; Marvel Studios, Steve Granitz/WIreImage via Getty

Finally, there's Ant Man. We know the shrinking superhero as the ageless Paul Rudd, but word has it that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was a front-runner for the part, too. If we're judging by our Photoshop, then JGL looks hilarious in the Ant Man suit. But who knows, maybe he could've been great.

It's fun to look back at this hilariously random group of superheroes who we could've been watching on the screen for the past decade, but really makes us appreciate the team of Avengers we ended up with.

WATCH: 'Avengers: Endgame' is smashing pre-sale box office records

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This livestream features a 'poly' bald eagle throuple raising a family

Some eagles are just too radical to be confined by heteronormative bird monogamy. 

Consider this "polyamorous" family of bald eagle trailblazers, featuring two male eagles, Valor I and Valor II, and one female eagle, Starr, located in Southern Illinois near the upper portion of the Mississippi River.

While some people have been following the non-traditional family for years, the Stewards of the Upper Mississippi River Ridge, an educational non-profit dedicated to the region, just posted a new livestream of the eagle family for nesting season.

SEE ALSO: Femme birds, butch owls, and lesbian frogs: Meet the queer animals of Instagram

To be clear, the eagle family isn't representative of a traditional polyamorous throuple in the human sense. The throuple doesn't live in Brooklyn and they aren't searching for mates on Eagle Tinder. 

The three adult eagles take care of three recently hatched eagle chicks. Parenting responsibilities are fairly neatly divided. The eagle parents take shifts taking care of the eagle chicks. That doesn't mean that everything is harmonious in the home — eagles will sometimes nudge other eagles, passive-aggressively, to do their part.

"During any given shift change at the nest, the relieving adult will land in the nest and nudge the incubator to take over duties," the U.S. Fish and Wildlife service said in a statement. "If nudging doesn’t work, then more aggressive moves such as walking on the tail feathers or back of the unrelenting incubator is conducted. If still no movement, the reliever will snuggle against the incubator and wait for an attitude change."

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service stressed that while it wasn't all that uncommon for more than two eagles to parent, it was strange to see such "teamwork" among the two males.

"The original trio formed in 2013 after the female chose a new mate," the U.S. Fish and Wildlife writes. "Even though the original male, known as Valor I, had been replaced by a new male, known as Valor II, he hung around the nest throughout the breeding season and was assumed to be engaged in the nest."

Valor I and Valor II have been through a lot since 2013. Originally, the two male eagles were nesting with a female eagle named Hope. Sadly, Hope was killed by another eagle in March of 2017, and Starr, the current female of the nest, was introduced in September of that year. 

It's a beautiful story. Stop whatever dumb Netflix show you're watching and watch this livestream instead.

This is a truly modern family.

WATCH: Study says Seattle is the most dog-friendly city in the U.S.

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'SighSwoon' merges self-care tips with hilarious memes on Instagram

Scrolling through @SighSwoon on Instagram is the equivalent of picking up a mysterious book at a thrift shop and falling into words that both enlighten and entertain.  

Gabi Abrao, a 24-year-old Los Angeles native, is the mind behind one of Instagram's shiniest hidden gems. SighSwoon showcases self-reflective memes and guides on how to feel things, whether it's simple pleasures or a broken heart. It’s a treasure trove of content tailored for millennials navigating creative lives. 

Sighswoon began in the summer of 2016, Abrao tells Mashable over email. Heartbreak and the desire to make some changes drove her toward the internet as a medium for creating and connecting with others, mainly through memes. With an ever-growing follower count of 62.3K, she's connected with a lot of people.

“When I share a realization online and see that thousands of people are going through the same thing, it makes me feel less alone, less hard on myself. I want people to feel this way too — understood, empowered,” Abrao explains. 

View this post on Instagram

Reminder that we’re all multi-faceted human beings and inner movements and conditions are subject to change constantly. There is no fixed condition. The more you do and the more you experience, the more understanding you will gain about your many facets and when they show up for you. There is so much to you - your capabilities, your moods, your modes. Being in one mode doesn’t make you in fixed opposition to the the other. There is no forever, there is no never. Fixation is an illusion. Change and shape-shifting is nature. After you understand your modes, you may get close to managing them. The gift of this will be synchronicity and balance. ** (Reposting myself from last October because this theme keeps showing up for me time and time again. Love this truth too much. Happy shapeshifting.)

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Apr 7, 2019 at 6:20pm PDT

The artist uses her platform to offer a plethora of self-care tips, from how to sunbathe ("a secluded location where you can get as naked as possible") to the best ways to "shapeshift," a visualization practice for when you're uncentered. Reading her is kind of like speaking to a caring physician who knows exactly what ails you and then gives you the perfect prescription, free of charge. 

View this post on Instagram

Three years ago, following a mildly devastating heartbreak, I dragged my mattress and box spring to the very center of the room and said, “I am a lush, self-sustaining island“. I slept in the center of the room for three days. That weekend, I took myself to a local playhouse. A 20-seat theater, the space was tiny and intimate. I arrived alone in a long black dress and proceeded to watch a stubborn man fall in love with an alien. The play was incredible, surprising, I cried. Once home, I felt ready for the luxury of leaning on a wall and shoved my bed back up against it. . . Later, ready for guests and no longer isolating, I thought of myself as a castle in the desert. “Grand for itself, wise for itself,” I wrote in a poem. In this new form, I was rejecting the need for outside validation, especially that of romantic partners. I imagined myself made of stone that remained cool, even at the highest noon. I imagined myself as an abundant whimsical structure in an environment lacking of. Sturdy and welcoming and independent. “Grand when you arrive, grand when you leave,“ I added to the poem. . . In a meditation class in high school, our teacher told us to pick our place. My teacher, who did past life regression on dogs, said, “Pick a place to be in. Just sit there and listen. Make room for visits from animals, insects, spirits.“ I settled for a giant warm boulder in the sun, next to a free-flowing river, surrounded by woods. A buffalo visited me that day, my eyes closed in a classroom. When things are neutral, when things are good, when things are great, I am the boulder in the sun by the river. Or I am laying on it. . . The house cat reminds me to stretch my body and take time in the sun. The house cat makes me not feel guilty for napping too long or staring at the traffic outside. The house cat reminds me to give myself permission to relax and take it slow.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on May 2, 2019 at 7:19pm PDT

With so much to do and see online today, it can be difficult to slow your scroll and ask yourself how you're feeling. Abrao's hyper-aware content offers a mirror with which followers can take a nice, long look at themselves. The focus falls on subjects like self-worth, illusions, success, and creativity. She utilizes extensive captions to explain specific ideas in depth — or even just to describe a sunset.  

View this post on Instagram

me drinking the sunset on a hill overlooking the city. it’s incredible how some of the most impactful events occur in line with some of the most devastating. sometimes intensity is just intensity. i am living my dreams and aching simultaneously, and i’d be a fool to think this could ever be any other way. dual, shifting, unbelievably fair. i am so happy to still be here. when things feel gigantic, and the imagination builds tall tales to match the sensation, we can always return to water and sunshine.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Mar 26, 2019 at 3:50pm PDT

“As a teenager, I used to do street art wheat paste posters around the city that said ‘sigh swoon sigh’ on them," Abrao says of her page’s unusual name. "It was a mini poem I made up and attached meaning to, and sharing it like that was a reason to run around and be bad. Years later, the phrase would come back around and feel like the most fitting title for what my page has become.”

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My Higher Self just whispered this to me and I was floored. May we recognize crossfire. May we recognize deliberate, aimed fire. May we protect ourselves first before engaging in any perceived battle.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Mar 13, 2019 at 9:36pm PDT

The Sighswoon feed is aesthetically pleasing, everything kissed with a tint of beige. It's light and welcoming, which is exactly the way Abrao wanted it. She blames her fascination with the hue on her time spent at the beach: “I was renting a bed and a balcony in a living room for $500/month. The building’s stucco was beige, the cheap '90s carpet was beige, and the sand was beige. I think I just wanted to match everything.” 

SEE ALSO: I don't know who needs to hear this, but these memes are good

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tbt to the longest but purest #vintage #meme wrote this a year ago

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Feb 5, 2019 at 1:40am PST

“The cyborg in me recognizes the cyborg in you,” reads her bio, just above a link to her online store where she sells merch that features the saying on totes and sweatshirts. “It’s a claim to embracing the digital age,” Abrao explains, “the very human-meets-technology existence we all participate in, and are still wearily adapting to.” She admits that while it’s meant to be humorous, she also means it with her “whole heart." 

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my beloved cream crewnecks are now available! i got one sample made for photos are I absolutely adore it. sizes run a little big and on the “men’s” side of sizing. sweaters are made-to-order and will ship within two weeks. link in bio 🏹🏹 p.s. totes are still available in the shop and any orders made today before midnight will ship on thursday morning along with every order placed this past week. love a cozy cyborg

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Jan 29, 2019 at 1:41pm PST

With just about three years of memeing under her (beige) belt, Abrao has figured out the formula for making a solid one.

“A good meme is funny, relatable, insightful, and healing. In that order. You should laugh, then feel connected to the creator or others who understand it, then experience some introspect, then leave with a healed feeling from those three processes,” she muses. Her delivery method varies as she utilizes many different meme formats. 

View this post on Instagram

ok fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Feb 5, 2019 at 10:30am PST

Occasionally, Abrao will post pictures of herself wearing interesting outfits made of neutral textiles and glowy silks. These portraits provide a face to the name (as well as maintaining her color-coded image). They also fuel fan encounters at her part-time book store gig: "A few times I have rung up a book, handed it to the person across the counter, and they’re just staring at me, and they say 'You make memes right?'"

View this post on Instagram

Years ago, I read a passage by an unknown source that said - “When you have an amazing day, take note of what you were wearing, what you ate, who you were with, what you did. Do the same with bad days.” This shirt is my absolute favorite of mine, and I’ve only had good days in it.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Apr 17, 2019 at 5:11pm PDT

Abrao just wants to help everyone chill out. "I aim for my page to be accessible, empowering, and soothing," she says. And she wants to keep it up for as long as possible. 

"I wish to continue my studies of the invisible and unseen — documenting my findings through paintings, writings, videos, memes, and other art forms," she says. Her end goal is literally out of this world: "I will operate a carousel in the desert some day, and I hope to re-spawn on another planet in my next life." 

In the midst of all the noise that is Instagram in 2019, Sighswoon provides a light-filled digital oasis, a faraway page that's easy to get lost on. Be careful, though. You might just walk away feeling refreshed and renewed. And with an affinity for beige. 

WATCH: Nickelodeon releases official SpongeBob meme figures

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25 tweets about glasses to read while your glasses slide down your nose

Glasses wearers face a highly specific set of glasses-related issues. We've got lens fog, we've got rain spots, we've got the general oppressiveness of summer. Plus, we remember when people used to call us four eyes.

So as your own glasses slip down the bridge of your nose, transforming you into an even less authoritative Chuck Schumer, please take comfort in these glasses-related tweets. We need something to get us through those moments when our shirts are not the right fabric to clean our lenses, after all.

Please put your glasses on before you begin reading.

the most unrealistic part of harry potter was that nobody asked to try on harry’s glasses and make fun of how blind he was

— Conall Keenan (@_conallkeenan) May 17, 2016

#growingupwithglasses "Hey,can I try on your glasses" *passes them around the whole class*

— taskeen.🦋 (@taskeenkh) January 16, 2019

how weird is it that i have to have two pieces of glass sitting in front of my eyeballs so i don't mistake a small child for a garbage can

— kay (@kailywasserman) November 10, 2014

#GrowingUpWithGlasses when you have to clean your glasses but your shirt isn't the right material pic.twitter.com/BK2rj001aT

— Princess Anna (@ItsPrincessAnna) July 21, 2015

SEE ALSO: The boys' locker room meme is a sh*tposter's dream

#GrowingUpWithGlasses "can I try on your glasses?" pic.twitter.com/RWndnzLoY5

— K£N (@KenMwendwa) July 21, 2015

I made a huge mistake setting up my iPhone X facial recognition when I was in full makeup about to go out, instead of with no glasses, a faint mustache, and my face half-smashed into a pillow

— Rebecca Watson (@rebeccawatson) October 24, 2018

#growingupwithglasses Gotta remove those glasses during a haircut and it the haircut looks fine untill you put those glasses back on and realise how shit they look🤦🏼‍♂️

— JJ (@jainjenil237) February 5, 2019

#GrowingUpWithGlasses when you first got them vs 2 years later pic.twitter.com/fHmIOJONtD

— agent darkbooty (@LenfantSausage) July 21, 2015

#GrowingUpWithGlasses what you see when you lean too close to your bowl when eating soup pic.twitter.com/7xV7ExZzE8

— plinth🌹 (@plinthcedd) April 24, 2018

im going to superglue my glasses to my face so they cant slide down my nose anymore

— BbyShibe (@BbyShibeBH) May 8, 2019

Just seen a character on TV remove his glasses and actually have those two little red marks on either side of his nose where the frames were resting, and I am delighted to finally have representation on screen.

— Steven Perkins (@stevenperkins) April 23, 2019

Every time I try to function without my glasses I remember why average age expectancy used to be 35.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) July 6, 2017

[first date] HER: fake glasses don't really make u seem smarter ME:[peering at menu thru 2 donuts] what are u implying?

— a ghost, online (@AbrasiveGhost) December 27, 2016

Eye doctors : can you read the last line without your glasses a h f I k g h b n c Me : 7

— Queenie👑 (@Goddess_Mykell) May 12, 2016

when I forget my glasses @ tha drive thru pic.twitter.com/9IhlwamEeq

— st e v. e (@yungpunkbxtch) May 8, 2019

in movies, why do people take their glasses off when they see something incredible? wouldn't putting them on make more sense

— Gil Ozeri (@gilozeri) June 5, 2017

Face recognition on my device doesn’t recognize me with reading glasses

— Pati Jinich (@PatiJinich) January 19, 2019

[in a world without ears] Inventor: We need to design some sort of eyeglasses that will stay on people's faces Assistant: WHAT??

— Stevem (@SteveMarriott) April 24, 2017

Summer is just constantly pushing your glasses back up your face cos the sweat makes them slide off

— James (@jamesab_) May 23, 2018

tfw your glasses fit you really loose and your face is a little too greasy so your glasses just slide off at any given point

— k☀️ with luv (@rrelacksing) May 13, 2019

Do y'all not understand how much of a struggle this is? 😭 pic.twitter.com/17DgKbREVK

— Jarrel (@slimrel__) January 3, 2017

#GrowingUpWithGlasses nothing could beat the struggle of trying to drink something hot and this happens pic.twitter.com/lKsLm2ZHeN

— Steve Stifler (@StevStiffler) April 22, 2018

Sometimes I forget that there r ppl who don't wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally just wake up and see, what a wild concept

— Mik (@mikaylapettipas) January 4, 2017

#GrowingUpWithGlasses going to a 3d movie like pic.twitter.com/QEDbknFfNj

— michelle (@mishadoodle) July 21, 2015

How do I keep from these glasses marks on my nose? Is this my life now?

— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) March 3, 2018

WATCH: Comedian Janelle James proves that she is amazing at everything — The Bob Ross Challenge

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Goodbye, 'Broad City'. Your queerness was a gift.

Thanks to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Jonathan Van Ness' round-the-clock Instagram stories, and ice skating demigods like Adam Rippon, queer men are having their moment in the spotlight.

Queer women, meanwhile, are relying on old DVDs of The L Word and erotic fantasies of the upcoming reboot. 

Sure, between The Fosters and Orange Is the New Black, there have been plenty of shows that feature queer characters since The L Word premiered. But what made Broad City special — what makes it so hard for some of us to say goodbye after the show aired its final episode on Thursday — was how it centered queerness, particularly bisexual queer identities, at its heart.

Broad City wasn't a purely gay show. It technically classifies as a "sorta queer show." 

That still matters so much.

SEE ALSO: 'Broad City' stars mark show's end with perfectly mushy Instagram posts

From the start of the show, it was clear that Ilana has a strong homoerotic attraction to her best friend, Abbi. Ilana was constantly referencing Abbi's great butt. She consistently stared her down and made reference to a future theoretical homosexual encounter. Ilana had boyfriends throughout the show, including one delightfully passive dentist (Hannibal Buress), but it was clear that Abbi was her true "love" — even if that love defied easy categorization.

In an earlier era, Ilana would have been drawn as either a purely straight main character or a purely gay "sassy" side character. Sandra Bernhard would have been the only actress cast to play her role. But because this is Broad City (and the year 2019), Ilana was able to stay true to her character roots: she was queer. She wanted to bone passive male dentists (respect) and fall in love with her hot best friend.

The show never resolved what kind of love Ilana expected from her best friend: partially sexual and partially romantic? Purely romantic? Or more of a lifelong partner kind of romance, with sex thrown in?

Ilana's experience mirrors plenty of people in the queer community who aren't strictly gay or straight, whose sexual identities change over time, and who are not-so-secretly in love with their best friends.

Best friend love is one of the key relational formations at the heart of the queer community. As a queer person, I'll say that approximately 100% of my romantic relationships and my friends' queer relationships originated in best friendship.

Ilana wasn't just visibly queer, she was 2019 queer. Broad City made it all visible.

Meanwhile, it took until the final season for Abbi to start to explore her queer identity (unless you consider the episode where she pegged her annoying neighbor queer — which is a more of question for Tumblr than it is for this post). Abbi's date with hot emergency room doctor Clea Duvall (kudos to the show for reminding us that you can be a hot doctor without being a prick) had all of the core emotional ingredients of an early queer experience. 

Abbi demonstrates the kind of nauseating awkwardness familiar to many of those who are first exploring a queer relationship in their 20s. It's so familiar it's unwatchable. And unlike most queer films or television shows premised on clear, linear, coming out narratives, Broad City doesn't have Abbi follow the traditional coming out trajectory. She just goes on a date with a woman (a hot doctor woman at that). She doesn't immediately incorporate the experience into an identity formation. She doesn't suddenly start shopping at Otherwild or watching Carol around the clock.

Abbi just develops a little thing for a very good-looking doctor. Who among us — straight or queer — has not been in the same position? (I'm very gay, but I'm open to the idea of a flirtation with my male dermatologist who is excellent at talking me through my rashes).

Bisexuality, sexual identity exploration, and sexual ambiguity are at the core of Broad City. Who knows if Abbi and Ilana will one day get married and raise a dog in Northampton? Maybe Ilana will start dating a moderate Republican and move to Utah. Maybe Abbi will date a hot butch bouncer. Who knows? The show never resolves anyone's identity. 

That's what make it so queer and so good. RIP, Broad City. We're all a little less gay now that you're gone.  

WATCH: Meet the 10-year-old drag kid shaping the future of drag youth

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95-year-old man catches four buses to join rally against racism

It's been a difficult week for New Zealanders, but amid the sadness there are brilliant displays of humanity.

One of these involved John Sato, 95, who took four buses to join an anti-racism rally in Auckland's Aotea Square on Sunday.

SEE ALSO: New Zealand bikers perform Haka dance in honor of Christchurch victims

Sato told Radio New Zealand he mostly keeps to himself and admitted that he was out of touch with the modern world. But it was news of the Christchurch terrorist attack that prompted him into action. 

"I stayed awake quite a lot at the night. I didn't sleep too well ever since. I thought it was so sad. You can feel the suffering of other people," he told the news outlet.

At the rally, strangers assisted him while he walked. A policeman also gave him water, and later took him home.

What a man. It was incredible heart warming to witness how well he was taken care of. pic.twitter.com/UCMy2VAQGp

— Alex(a) (@LabuskysMum) March 26, 2019

Sato is a WWII veteran, and was recruited by the New Zealand army to fight against Japan. 

Born to a Scottish mother and a Japanese father, was one of two New Zealand-Japanese servicemen part of the army. He said it was important to look after each other, irregardless of one's cultural background.

"I think it's such a tragedy, and yet it has the other side. It has brought people together, no matter what their race or anything," Sato said.

"People suddenly realised we're all one. We care for each other."

WATCH: The Himalayan mountain glaciers might not be here within a century

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Artists on Twitter are drawing their favorite shipping dynamics for this new meme

Once you've binge-watched enough Netflix shows, you start to see a pattern in the characters you get invested in. You might even notice that certain types of romances have you hitting the "Next Episode" button faster than you can say "I ship it." 

Even if you don't actually read fanfiction in which romantic tropes are clearly defined and amped up to 11 (just check any of the tags on AO3.org or Fanfiction.net), there's at least one fictional dynamic that hits ya right in the feels, every time. 

SEE ALSO: Artist recreates her Pokémon fan art from childhood

Enter the latest meme going around Twitter, which has artists drawing visual depictions of their favorite ships. Would you like a scoop of some unspoken mutual pining? How about a helping of rivals who actually admire each other? Or, my personal favorite, a cup of punlord versus someone who pretends to hate their puns but secretly loves them?  

don't even read fanfiction much anymore but oh boy howdy do I know what dynamics I like pic.twitter.com/OoRc9SVVVi

— Molly Knox Ostertag (@MollyOstertag) April 17, 2019

GUH,,,,god help me if it’s all three at once pic.twitter.com/UgvSSj3IZT

— ✨🐸💖its greer💖🐸✨ (@grakkerss) April 17, 2019

more favorite ship dynamics... and to those wondering, ‘dumbass + dumbass’ isn’t its own category since that’s the foundation of every relationship pic.twitter.com/S6lcCmlNE0

— sang 🤠 (@SangledHere) April 18, 2019

These dynamic memes are like all the best parts of going down a TV Tropes page rabbit hole, with the added benefit of expressive, artistic hot takes. Also, most of the pairs have been drawn genderless, so you can imagine any number of your favorite characters! 

fave shipping dynamics..... im soft okay pic.twitter.com/HQiJBwuPLT

— #1 OC smoocher ✨Commissions: Open ✨ (@Idolomantises) April 16, 2019

I love seeing people's fav ship dynamics so I offer my favourite one for girls pic.twitter.com/ET96ISfxTN

— Chelsey ✨🌻 (@Cheriiart) April 17, 2019

okay, i couldn't resist, here are some of my favorite ship tropes. pic.twitter.com/e7mgxCya0W

— shelby cragg 👽 (@shelbycragg) April 18, 2019

May not be surprising, but my fave ship dynamic is the “unconventionally attractive comic relief with a big personality + the hot, pure of heart guy who is irrationally devoted to them” 💖 pic.twitter.com/cLI22TNDL1

— Nick Sumida (@nsumida) April 17, 2019

i had food poisoning and cant leave my bed pic.twitter.com/MXrlzXIe5H

— Mari🌹Costa (@marinscos) April 17, 2019

oh and a bonus. I don't even know what this is from but I love it pic.twitter.com/VquiZFIGVl

— Molly Knox Ostertag (@MollyOstertag) April 17, 2019

In all seriousness, 90% of my favorite ship dynamics can be summed up by this scene from Night in the Woods pic.twitter.com/9LLlqtgegN

— cryptid (@loopnoid) April 17, 2019

DID SOMEONE SAY FAVOURITE SHIP DYNAMICS?????????? yeah like....all my fav ships fit into these pic.twitter.com/CJZX852DrK

— ( harriet ) (@hattersarts) April 17, 2019

In the cheeky spirit of the original posts, people's favorite "dynamics" seem to get progressively more goofy. Some artists even admitted that their favorite dynamics were just thinly veiled variations of "me + this character who I think is hot." 

But others felt like not everything was such harmless fun, with posts celebrating abusive relationship dynamics right alongside lighthearted ones. Not cute.

Some couple dinamic memes around here are just straight up toxic and abusive and im just THAT NOT CUTE. RUN pic.twitter.com/1PyBrku6Cj

— Moon🌛 (@DestinytoMoon) April 17, 2019

yall are goin too far with the couple dynamic shit just saw one that was a 4-hit combo of abusive relationships with people eating it up

— Alex's Snugglekitty 💫 (@essiecatter) April 17, 2019

I just saw one that was 'I will kill everybody here and then myself for you😳❤❤❤' 'awww' and i just HELLO 911????

— Moon🌛 (@DestinytoMoon) April 17, 2019

You’re really gonna group Bubbline with Reylo huh pic.twitter.com/YIgl6bKzsW

— #1 spy kids 2 fan (@LemonyDickpunch) April 17, 2019

Overall though, we love these these dynamics for a reason — even if the reason why we love them is because they're so overdone. 

10 minutes ago: People are posting their fave ship-dynamics! That's fun, let me pull up pictures of the myriad of diverse, very different ship dynamics I lo— Now: ALL THE SAME THEY'RE ALL THE EXACT SAME I'VE SEEN MYSELF AND THEY'RE ALL THE SAME pic.twitter.com/fTSQwG3h4W

— Josie Campbell (@CozyJamble) April 17, 2019

And also because no one can help but run away with "ship" puns. 

WATCH: Twitter turned this massive fried rice prank into a pretty great meme — All the Memes

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Barbie may not be out of the closet yet, but her fans sure are

Has there ever really been a gay doll? 

Well, yes and no. In 1977, "Gay Bob," marketed as the world's first gay doll, was sold through mail-order ads in gay magazines. And I'm sure that Mattel still thinks about the "Earring Magic Ken" fiasco of 1993, and his "necklace." 

But there's nothing inherently gay about dolls themselves – they're toys, pieces of plastic after all. In the same vein, there's nothing inherently gay about doll collecting as a hobby, as a passion, as an art form. 

Dolls are cultural reflections of the times, for better or worse. But doll brands like Barbie that are symbols of hyper-heteronormative, old-school femininity are being reclaimed and reinterpreted by adult LGBTQ collectors in a new way. And don't think the toy companies are unaware — they’re not, and they are absolutely involved. 

More recently the main way collectors are expressing this kind of love and solidarity, and where community can be found, is through the internet and social media. This is a space where the toys' brand narrative has usually been out of corporate hands. But companies like Mattel are in it now, noticing these LGBTQ fan communities, and vying for their digital eyes.  

Now THIS is what the Dreamhouse should look like.

Image: THE SIMPSONS/ Fox

Coming out of the (doll) closet  

Many adult collectors choose dolls because of the nostalgia associated with collecting toys from their childhood. Younger LGBTQ collectors aren’t connecting as much over the nostalgic dolls themselves, as much as they are using social media to connect with other gay fans. 

Tumblr user @dolljunk, who used to collect Barbies as a young boy, got into it again as a young adult through online fandoms. “Internet groups were a great way of connecting to other collectors. I had never even heard of [doll-related social media], let alone other collectors and when I went to my local library, I found a multitude of forums and fan sites that detailed how people collected dolls such as customizing, photography, and numerous guides for doll releases. It really opened my eyes to another side of playing with and seeing dolls.” 

LGBTQ collectors are also identifying with the messages of newer doll franchises, and the potential for what the dolls can represent. Monster High collectors in particular are mostly Millennials who never grew up playing with the dolls themselves, but with whom the brand's identity has resonated. 

Dott, a doll collector active on social media, introduced her collection, saying “I mostly collect Monster High, but there's some Barbies, Ever After Highs, and Descendants strewn in there." For reference, all of these brands were created after 2009. "Monster High's my main focus because...well, I think I connect with the lore the most. Unlike a lot of doll collectors, I love the lore aspect as much as, if not more, than the actual dolls. And there's something about the MH media that I just adored.” 

In an article from the University of Connecticut titled "Valuing queer identity in Monster High doll fandom," author Sara Mariel Austin wrote that "Monster High's recent ad campaign claims, 'We are monsters. We are proud.' Race, ethnicity, and disability are coded into the dolls as selling points. The allure of Monster High is, in part, that political identity and the celebration of difference..."

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The #Goochella monsters couldn’t get enough of the #FierceRocker’s freaky-fab cover of @LadyGaga’s song, Born This Way! 🙌💁🙌 Thanks for showing us that any dream is possible if you are brave enough to put yourself out there! 💪❤️ #KindMonsters #MonsterHigh

A post shared by Monster High (@monsterhigh) on Apr 21, 2016 at 8:05am PDT

If the messages intrinsic to these brand identities are like this, it's no wonder that LGBTQ doll collectors connect with these dolls on an emotional level. Social media doll communities like "Dollblr" and "Dollstagram" have also inspired other ways for a group that's traditionally marginalized to express themselves.

A passion for fashion: doll artistry and expression

Doll collecting is, inherently, at least somewhat escapist. There’s something that feels revolutionary about being constantly bombarded with the idolized bodies and lives of cisgender heterosexuals on social media, and then going “screw that! I’m gonna take this toy, make it a representation of me, and imagine a new world with it.” 

Utilizing dolls as an art form – through mediums like photography, clothes-making, customization/modification, and fanart – allow for LGBTQ collectors to envision a world free of toxic masculinity. Creating doll art in and for an online world allows a safe space for folks to literally “play” with their own femininity and subvert gender roles as they see fit. 

“It's something that's a nice escape from real life? We aren't worrying about gay stuff if we're rerooting a doll head, cause we keep pricking our fingers on accident, and our wrists and palms are sore from using pliers. In all seriousness, I think it's a form of self-expression,” Dott told Mashable about the physical art of doll modification and customization.

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A post shared by Barbination™ (@barbination) on Mar 10, 2019 at 3:31am PDT

The way that @dolljunk connects to his collection emotionally through art is similar. “Dolls and toy collecting [are] a great creative outlet...and can encompass fashion design, hair styling and face painting/makeup while also offering a way of creating new items,” he said. 

"It resulted in me becoming more secure in my identity and interests because Barbie, for better or for worse, is a symbol of hyper femininity that doesn't allow any room for toxic masculinity in her world. Being able to get in touch with my feminine side and interests was a big contributor to accepting my sexuality as being an intrinsic aspect of myself that didn't need to be changed,” @dolljunk said.

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A post shared by Barbievette (@barbieboyvette) on Dec 31, 2018 at 1:52pm PST

And for many LGBTQ folks, especially gay boys and trans girls, that's incredibly important. Even Carlyle Nuera, who is now the lead designer for Barbie Signature at Mattel, sees the growth in these social media communities as being rooted in collective childhood experiences. 

“I think for a lot of us, in different ways, for different reasons, we feel repressed growing up," Nuera said. "Depending on our homes, our family situation, we might not feel safe expressing ourselves. I think a lot of people when they start to have expendable income, they kinda create this fantasy world, this beauty that they never really had access to as a kid. They can see it — and I think they can sort of create it with their own dolls, by customizing their own dolls, or with photography. And then also to share with other people, cause you can connect with other people [on social media].” 

Dolls are humanoid, so it’s easy to project our wants, desires, and dreams onto them. And if we alter their resemblance enough, they can mirror us back in ways we hope society will someday. 

Does life in the Dreamhouse have to be so straight?  

Toy companies, though, are already creating their own miniature worlds with their own identities for the dolls through tie-in media. With various outlets and extensions of their brand, they impose their own meanings onto the products. Mattel and Hasbro, for example, have their own TV shows and movies. Barbie has the Netflix series Life in the Dreamhouse; Monster High and Ever After High had their own movies and webisodes, and Hasbro has the massively successful My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic series.

They also have flashy social media accounts with good fashion photography and witty interactions. Barbie is now an Instagram influencer, as well as a vlogger with her own popular YouTube series. Mattel once ran an entire in-universe Monster High school newspaper through their Tumblr account. 

The presence of toy companies on social media is intriguing though, given that the minimum age for Instagram, Tumblr, and Facebook is 13. So who really is the audience for these branded doll accounts? 

While these companies likely don’t want to risk alienating the parents who buy dolls as toys for their kids, it's also seems fair to say they want to capture this LGBTQ adult interest in their products. There have been brand partnerships like with Crayola, meant to solely market towards kids. But when you have Mattel partnering with Lady Gaga’s Born this Way Foundation for Monster High, it’s obvious that they spend at least some time thinking about their messaging that can be subtly aimed at the LGBTQ community. 

Especially since in a lot of their media franchises, there's a heavy focus on messages about being yourself, accepting others, and celebrating our differences — great lessons for kids of course, but all of which resonate deeply with LGBTQ doll fans. 

Milissa C. is a big fan of the Monster High and Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse series, alongside collecting the dolls themselves. She believes that the connection between the brands and the fans is deliberate. "[We] members of the LGBT+ community are oftentimes made to feel like we are not normal because of our feelings and our identities. Monster High encourages people to celebrate what makes them unique, 'freaky flaws' [as the main character Frankie Stein says] and all. LGBT+ doll collecting communities will certainly imagine more of their dolls to represent themselves. Every time I see a post from the official Barbie Instagram accounts where Barbie is obviously having a date night with a lady friend, I think — bi queen!"

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It’s a museum date! Taking in the @mickalenethomas exhibit today at @mocalosangeles. See more from the galleries in Stories. 💙 #MickaleneThomas #barbie #barbiestyle

A post shared by Barbie® (@barbiestyle) on Feb 1, 2017 at 2:26pm PST

Connecting to the storylines as much or more than to the dolls themselves is a celebration of LGBTQ identity, in Dott’s case. “Mostly because Monster High's entire concept is centered around embracing who you are. Plus, it was my special interest when I realized I was a lesbian. Mattel never gave us any canon gay characters in that franchise, but I find it profoundly moving that lots of lesbians/bi girls see themselves in characters like Clawdeen [daughter of the Wolf Man] and Twyla [daughter of the Boogyman]." 

Yet, she's right — the representation so far hasn’t been that explicit. There’s a line between using broad metaphors to illustrate big concepts (mainly for kids), and allowing the diversity of the real world to exist and be seen on the small screen. 

Despite knowing that he is far outside the target demographic, @dolljunk says that toy brand media “influences or recontextualizes the designs of the dolls I collect. A good piece of toy tie in media often encourages its audience to invest in the universe they have created, and I've seen it result from kids to adult collectors to go on to create their own fanart or fan characters. That being said, in the future I really do hope they are able to innovate and modernize for an ever changing audience in a world with changing attitudes and values.”  

From the Ever After High episode, "Dragon Games." This was supposed to be "CPR". Yeah, right.

Image: NETFLIX / MATTEL 

Dott says she always hopes for more explicit inclusivity. “Put some canon LGBT characters in your doll and toy franchises. Show kids that it's okay to be gay or bi or trans! It hasn't got to be something big; maybe a boy character has a schoolyard crush on another boy, you know? Just something small like that to get the ball rolling. Companies still have to do better.” 

Not having canon LGBTQ representation is not unique to doll media, but because the companies have opened the door by putting these messages front and center, doll collectors engage with the media as a way of reclaiming identity, and then push the representation further than canon allows for. Toy companies arguably owe it to both children and adults, LGBTQ and not, to step up with better depictions of diversity because they're already toeing the line. 

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A post shared by Barbie® (@barbiestyle) on Nov 21, 2017 at 2:36pm PST

Progress is being made, slowly but surely. There are new dolls and action figures coming out of prominent IRL figures and fictional characters who are LGBTQ. Last year on Instagram, Barbie wore a shirt that said "Love Wins." Even in doll-related media, companies are beginning to test to waters — in 2016, Mattel's movie series based on the doll line for Ever After High featured an on-screen kiss between two princesses.

For many collectors, it's not enough anymore to simply admire and collect these fashion figures. They want to see themselves in the dolls that they've been projecting onto for decades. 

So while we wait for the brands' next move, gay culture will keep claiming dolls because we know in our hearts that they're ours as much as anyone's. Barbie? More like Bar-bi. 

WATCH: Lady Gaga hopes award shows will become gender neutral

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Watch this over-the-top dog become a tourist attraction

Some dogs really know how to draw a crowd.

In the Abkhazia territory in the country of Georgia on Saturday, a group of tourists stopped to take photos of a particularly performative dog that had rolled onto its back. Forget the sights, this dog is the tourist attraction.   

Mind you, nobody actually pets the dog. They're just here to stan. 

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How SparkNotes' social media accounts mastered the art of meme-ing literature

Most millennials know SparkNotes as the ultimate no-nonsense study buddy, but today’s students not only receive help with schoolwork from the website, they get high-quality entertainment, too.

SparkNotes remains a crucial tool for text comprehension — full of study guides and supplemental resources on english literature, philosophy, poetry, and more. But over the past two years it’s also become a source of some of the internet’s most quick-witted, thought-provoking, and ambitious memes.

SparkNotes' Twitter and Instagram accounts have carved a unique niche for themselves online by posting literary memes that find perfect parallels  between classic works like Macbeth, The Great Gatsby, Lord of the Flies, and Frankenstein, and present-day pop culture favorites like The Office, Parks and Rec, and more.

It may come as a surprise to those who once frequented the site for the sole purpose of better understanding Shakespeare plays before a final exam or catching up on assigned chapters of The Catcher in the Rye before the bell rang, but SparkNotes is cool now, and absolutely killing the social media game.

SEE ALSO: The magic of Book Fairies

As someone who spends the majority of her workday on the internet and splits her leisure time almost exclusively between reading books and re-watching episodes of The Office, I fell in love with the account's near-perfect meme execution after mere minutes of scrolling through posts. 

In a world with so many bad brand tweets and tone-deaf memes, I felt compelled to seek out the well-read meme masters behind SparkNotes' social media to learn how it is they manage to make each and every post so good.

How SparkNotes' social media became LIT ✨📚

Chelsea Aaron, a 31-year-old senior editor for SparkNotes, is a huge part of the success. She started managing the site's Instagram in September 2017, and her meme approach has helped the account grow from 5,000 to 134,000 followers.

"When I first started managing the account, I tried a bunch of different things," Aaron explained in an email. "I ran illustrations and original content from our blog, and I also borrowed memes from our Twitter ... The memes seemed to get the most likes, so I started making and posting those on a regular basis, and now I try to do four to five per week."

Image: screengrab / Instagram

Aaron discovered the account's recipe for success by not only making memes about some of SparkNotes' most popular, highly searched guides — which include Shakespeare's plays, The Great Gatsby, and Pride and Prejudice — but by mashing them together with a few modern television shows that she's personally passionate about, such as The Office, Parks and Rec, Arrested Development, and John Mulaney's comedy specials. She's also known for hilariously retelling entire works (SparkNotes style, so, abridged versions) using the account's Highlight feature.

Image: screengrab / instagram

The brilliantly sharp, comical posts seem effortless, but Aaron explained the process takes some serious concentration. Essentially, she stares at a large collection of collected screenshots "in a state of panic" until an idea strikes. "It's wildly inefficient and incredibly stressful, but I haven't figured out another way to do it," she admitted.

Luckily, Aaron always has the SparkNotes Twitter account to turn to for inspiration, which is managed by Courtney Gorter, a 26-year-old consulting writer for SparkNotes who Aaron calls "a comedic genius."

Gorter has been managing the Twitter account for about a year and a half now, and joined the SparkNotes team because she utilized its resources growing up and wanted to help "make classic literature feel accessible" to others.

"I wanted this stuff to seem slightly more fun (or, at the very least, less intimidating) to the average stressed-out student who's just trying to read fifty pages by tomorrow and also has a quiz on Friday," she said. The memes definitely help her achieve that goal.

Scrolling through the SparkNotes Instagram account, you notice it generally uses a recurring but reliably satisfying meme format. Most of the posts consist of a white block filled with introductory text and a screenshot from a television show, like so.

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A post shared by SparkNotes Official (@sparknotes_) on Apr 16, 2019 at 10:25am PDT

Gorter, on the other hand, ensures the Twitter account showcases a far more widespread representation of the internet. She posts everything from out-of-context screenshots, GIFs, and videos, to altered headlines from The Onion and trending meme formats of the moment, like "in this house" memes, "nobody vs me" memes, and more. The account is full of variety and gloriously unpredictable.

Hades: Orpheus I’ll let you bring your wife back from the Underworld, but if you turn and look behind you she’ll be lost to you forever. Orpheus: pic.twitter.com/FWD9P2nO0m

— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) April 16, 2019

Normal heart rate: /\⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ /\ _ / \ __/\__ / \ _ \/⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ \/ The old man you just killed, whose heart lies hidden beneath the floorboards yet continues to beat: ⠀/\⠀ /\⠀ /\ _/ \ /\_/ \ /\_/ \ /\_ ⠀ \/⠀⠀ \/⠀⠀ \/

— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) April 12, 2019

Gorter, who describes herself as "constantly on the internet" feels a lot of her ideas are the result of "cultural osmosis ... our collective tendency to consume references and jokes without realizing it just by being on the internet a lot."

"Sometimes I’ll be reading a book, and I’ll remember a joke I saw earlier that fits. Sometimes a new meme format will crop up over the weekend, and I’ll think, 'That could work for Macbeth,'" she said.

Though the two accounts are clearly distinct from one another, they both give off the same hip English teacher energy and running them has become a truly collaborative effort. "I constantly send her [Gorter] emails asking stuff like, 'Can I still say 'big mood' or is that over?' and 'What's the deal with this whole 'wired vs tired' thing?'" Aaron said.

Together, the two women spend their days discussing iconic works of literature, making pop culture references, and keeping up with the latest memes. (A dream job.) Their separate styles fuse together to make each other's posts the best they can be.

The meme approach works wonders

One might not initially think that Boo Radley and John Mulaney have much in common, or that Michael Scott could effortlessly embody Romeo, Julius Caesar, and Holden Caulfield if you simply alter your perspective. I certainly did not. 

But Aaron and Gorter's work will convince you. Once you start merging the worlds of classic literature and modern television series, you won't want to stop.

The SparkNotes instagram is my favorite thing pic.twitter.com/FCc6sXjJly

— Jessie Martin (@jessie_martin97) March 29, 2019

Fun fact, the official Sparknotes Instagram account is probably the best one: pic.twitter.com/sIR6tsw7ZP

— Tommy (@tommy_jacobs92) February 28, 2019

When describing why the posts work so well, Aaron explained that Hamlet, Mr. Darcy, and Gatsby — three of her favorite characters to meme — have super relatable personalities, which makes the process so simple.

"They're dramatic, and awkward, and obsessive, which makes them identical to about 97% of the people on The Office," she said. "I've learned that you can use Michael Scott as a stand-in for pretty much any classic lit character, and it isn't even hard. (That's what she said)."

What wow the @SparkNotes Twitter is extremely good???? It all appears to be this good!!! https://t.co/PyEqTdQ3Ly

— Rachel Kelly 🥛 (@wholemilk) May 2, 2019

Why is @SparkNotes's Twitter so good it has no right to be this good https://t.co/eFBQpLMpe3

— Kelsey [Version 2019.05] (@flusteredkels) May 2, 2019

Gorter thinks the accounts are so appealing because they create a deep sense of community — an online space that isn't so isolating, rather a place where where bibliophiles, television enthusiasts, and meme lovers can all come together and geek the hell out. There's really something for everyone.

"When Steve Rogers said, 'I understood that reference,' I felt that deeply. I think people enjoy being in on a joke, especially when the source material (classic literature, for instance) isn’t particularly hilarious," Gorter said. "There’s a delicious juxtaposition there. I know that I personally get a secret little thrill when I understand something as contextually layered as a really niche meme, and a slight sense of frustration when I don’t."

Engaging followers and changing with the times

SparkNotes as a whole has come a long way since it was launched as TheSpark.com by a group of Harvard students in 1999.

What started out as a budding web-based dating service quickly transformed into a trusted library of online study materials, and over the years, as the publishing industry, technology, and the internet evolved, so did SparkNotes. 

Like the social media accounts, SparkNotes'  SparkLife blog — full of quizzes, artwork, rankings, advice, and trendy posts like "How To Break Up With Someone, According To Shakespeare" and "Snapchats From Every Literary Movement" —  perfectly encapsulates the site's commitment to catering to its audience.

Whoever runs the Sparknotes twitter and Instagram pages deserves a raise

— louise🌻 (@_Fallxn_) February 21, 2019

SparkNotes does a remarkable job of shifting with the times to stay relevant and interesting in the eyes of its readers — and the quest to balance fun and education really seems to be paying off. Recently, the Instagram account tested out a post that called upon students and teachers to request custom-made memes by reaching out via email with the title of a book or subject they want meme'd, along with a message for the intended recipient.

"The response was amazing!" Aaron said. "We got almost 250 emails, and it's so great to see the genuine affection and admiration that teachers have for their students, and vice versa." 

Thanks to the social media accounts, SparkNotes is not only helping students learn, but helping entire classrooms bond with their teachers. (And hopefully teaching educators who follow a thing or two about good memes.)

Print isn't dead, it's just getting some help from the internet

Aaron and Gorter are having a blast running the accounts, but ultimately, they hope their lighthearted posts will inspire people to pick up a book and read.

"I hope what our followers take away from this is that classic literature doesn’t have to be totally dry," Gorter said. "If our memes encourage our followers to engage with classic literature and be excited about reading, that's so rewarding," Aaron added.

The present-day approach to selling classic literature is undeniably unconventional, and the crossovers are absurdly ambitious, but they work so damn well. What's great about the memes is they're created in a way that doesn't diminish the literature plots, because in reality, one would have to have such a comprehensive understanding of the text to make such good jokes.

The memes are actually pretty high-brow when you think about it, sure to delight intellectuals with great taste in pop culture. I have no idea how the legendary writers would feel about their greatest works getting the meme treatment, but people online are definitely loving it.

It's refreshing to see a brand account succeed at such a genuinely funny level, but perhaps even nicer to see it thriving off of wholesome content that doesn't drag other accounts or get its laughs at the expense of tearing others down, as we've seen accounts do in the past.

SparkNotes social media accounts are genuinely just nice corners of the internet dedicated to making people laugh and hopefully igniting a love of literature.

WATCH: Steve Carell to reunite with 'The Office' creator for Netflix's 'Space Force'

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The Boston Red Sox are the latest team to ban 'Fortnite'

The defending World Series champion Boston Red Sox have struggled early this season, but it's apparently not because they're distracted by Fortnite.

Several players, including pitcher Nathan Eovaldi, told WEEI's Rob Bradford that the game is completely absent from the team's clubhouse in 2019. "I haven’t seen it this year," Eovaldi, told WEEI. "Usually everybody had it set up in their lockers. But I haven’t seen it."  

SEE ALSO: Prince Harry says 'Fortnite' should be banned

Bradford reports that the team decided that players were losing their focus on the field:

The revelation is a surprise considering the game was a constant presence during the 2018 season. Starting pitcher David Price loved it so much it was rumored to have contributed to a carpal tunnel injury he dealt with. (He denied this report.)

Price also claimed to have played the game with Eovaldi the night before he pitched the World Series-clinching Game 5 victory. 

David Price said he prepared for his start today by playing Fortnite with Nathan Eovaldi last night. "Yes, we did win," Price said.

— Tim Healey (@timbhealey) October 29, 2018

And, bringing things full circle, Price used an off-season Twitch session during a game of Fortnite to tease Eovaldi about re-signing with the Red Sox; Eovaldi did indeed return to the Red Sox but there's no word whether Price's Fortnite skills helped.  

The Red Sox aren't the only sports team to deal with the popularity of Fortnite in the team clubhouse. During the final week of the 2018 season, Philadelphia Phillies player Carlos Santana got so fed up with teammates being distracted by playing the game that he smashed a television with a bat. 

Meanwhile, the Texas Rangers, like the Red Sox, reportedly banned Fortnite from the clubhouse for 2019 and the Toronto Blue Jays implemented restrictions on playing video games for its players. And, over in the NHL, the NHL's Vancouver Canucks apparently banned the game for the 2018-2019 season after a mediocre performance the previous season. 

So, for now, at least a small group of people have figured out how to temporarily slow Fortnite steady, methodical takeover of the sports world. 

WATCH: Fortnite releases 'Avengers: Endgame' crossover

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Jaw-dropping video shows water sloshing down a skyscraper during earthquake

A stunning video shot during Monday's earthquake in the Philippines shows water cascading down the side of the building like an urban mega-waterfall.

The water reportedly sloshed out of a rooftop pool of the residential Anchor Skysuites in the Binondo district of Manila as the building swayed during the earthquake.

Accoring to the U.S. Geological Survey, the quake registered as a magnitude 6.1, with the epicenter reported to be about 50 miles from Manilla. At least eight people have died, according to CNN.

The video was originally shared by Michael Rivo on Facebook and picked up by local media outlets, including the Filipino Times and the Manila Bulletin. 

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Redacted Mueller report has unleashed a flurry of great redaction memes

At long last, the day has come. A copy of the Mueller report is expected to be released to the general public shortly, and while the American people wait they've decided to pass the time by making comfort memes.

Attorney General William Barr is set to release some 400-pages of findings from Mueller's Special Counsel investigation into Donald Trump and his administration's involvement with Russia, but there's a catch: parts of the report will be redacted.

The report is said to be "lightly redacted," but having seen the massive redacted portions in the Special Counsel's sentencing memo on Michael Flynn last year, people are rightfully skeptical. As they wonder whether or not the report will be presented with an absurd amount of blacked out text, people are preparing for a potential let down with some jokes.

SEE ALSO: Trump said he 'won' the Mueller report, Stephen Colbert isn't so sure

While you wait for the highly anticipated report to drop, please enjoy some memes.

Ladies, if he: -███████ -███████ -███████ He's not your man. He's Attorney General Bill Barr.

— marisa kabas (@MarisaKabas) April 17, 2019

just █████ ██ ███████ ████. ███ ███ remember ██████ that ████████ today ███ is ████████ probably ████ going to ███ suck ██ on ███ ███ here

— Charlie Warzel (@cwarzel) April 18, 2019

EXCLUSIVE!! A page of the redacted #MuellerReport has been LEAKED! Have a sneak peek below pic.twitter.com/WzcwioUZb5

— Joseph Burke (@jf_burke) April 18, 2019

The redacted #MuellerReport is out! And this is what it reveals... # pic.twitter.com/2C9djnIPZ3

— MackMajor (@MrMackMajor) April 18, 2019

Got my hands on an exclusive preview of Thursday's Mueller Report release pic.twitter.com/YYA1X92emo

— Adir Hu Farted?🔥 (@Pale_0ntologist) April 15, 2019

Preview of the #MuellerReport 👀 pic.twitter.com/E7nkisDXkF

— Corina Garcia (@Bellarinaa) April 18, 2019

More from Barr's lightly redacted Mueller Report: ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️M⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️A⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️G⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️A⬛️⬛️

— Adam Blickstein (@AdamBlickstein) April 18, 2019

Preview of the incoming #Mueller report... pic.twitter.com/Y690e5IWhk

— Adam Endale (@adamendale) April 18, 2019

Barr's redacted version of Sonnet 18.... pic.twitter.com/0YeFQ8KYJX

— Michael Bazzett (@MikhailBazharov) April 18, 2019

The (redacted) report. The response to the (redacted) report. The response to the response to the (redacted) report. The distraction from the (redacted) report. Today is going to be quite a day. Listen *carefully* to what is —and isn’t — said. Be wise word consumers.

— Joanne Freeman (@jbf1755) April 18, 2019

After the report was published, the redactions were a'plenty. So the meme trend, of course, continued.

█ █ T █ █ █ H █ █ I █ S █ █ █ █ I █ █ S █ █ █ █ █ █ B █ █ U █ █ L █ █ █ L █ █ █ █ S █ █ H █ █ █ █ █ █ T https://t.co/gxFtkHDtjh

— Public Citizen (@Public_Citizen) April 18, 2019

pic.twitter.com/UE3ErX1wUv

— Rep Ayanna Pressley (@RepPressley) April 18, 2019

███women███████████will█████████████████████defeat█████████Trump███████████████████in█████the█████streets██and████████at█████████the████████polls██

— Women's March (@womensmarch) April 18, 2019

This investigation has been ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ exhausting.

WATCH: Trump wants astronauts back on the moon by 2024

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17 terrifying creepypastas guaranteed to keep you up at night

The age-old tradition of telling ghost stories around a campfire has gotten a digital upgrade with creepypastas — scary stories or pictures that spread across message boards, becoming internet lore that are discussed both on and offline.

People around the word share their bizarre and terrifying creepypastas, hoping that the tales will gain popularity and become classics, often quoted or cited by horror fans and frightened netizens.

Like with the ghost stories of old, not all creepypastas are particularly scary or good, even if they are frequently passed around. Reading a long story with an interesting title or image is no guarantee of a frightening payoff, and the writers often forget that just having someone meeting a quick and unfortunate fate does not an interesting story make.

When a real gem of a creepypasta is found, it makes all the searching and scavenging worth it (at least until it's time to fall asleep). So grab a friend, turn off the lights, and prepare to be scared to scroll any further — here are 17 of the scariest creepypastas.

1. The Slender Man

A post shared by SLENDERMAN ™ ☛ALWAYЅ WATCHES (@slender.mxn) on Aug 23, 2018 at 12:40pm PDT

Before this pale, faceless ghoul had his own movie and video game series, he haunted the forums of the internet with his finely pressed suit and unnaturally long limbs. The Slender Man's story is not a narrative one, but a pseudo-historical look at this monster's history with humanity that is tied into several other creepypastas.

Typically, the Slender Man preys on children and those who become obsessed with his existence, though no one knows exactly what happens to the bodies since no one has ever escaped from an encounter with him. Suggested stories featuring the Slender Man include The Tall Man and the Marble Hornets videos.

In the real world, this creepypasta figure became a key figure during an assault and subsequent criminal case in 2014 involving three 12-year-old girls. Wisconsin teens Anissa Weier and Morgan Geyser, lured their friend, Payton Leutner, into the woods during a game of hide-and-seek. In an reported attempt to appease Slender Man, the duo stabbed Leutner 19 times and left her at the scene. Leutner managed to drag herself to a nearby road where a cyclist found her, and she was immediately taken to a hospital where she recovered from her injuries.

Soon after the attack, Weier and Geyser were arrested and tried for attempted second-degree murder. In 2017, Weier was sentenced to 25 years in a mental institution, while her accomplice Geyser was sentenced to 40 years in a mental hospital in 2018.

2. Candle Cove

A post shared by Nicky (@burialshroud) on Mar 6, 2018 at 12:52pm PST

Everyone has a television show from their childhood that they fondly remember. Like those who nostalgically recall the adventures of Dora the Explorer, Mister Rogers, and Sesame Street, some adults rediscovered their favorite show from the 1970s, Candle Cove, on a television forum in this creepypasta. Slowly, their memories of the show grow darker and more disturbing until one of the adults asks his mother about the true nature of the show.

The forum format of the story adds a spooky realism to the tale, also making it easy to recreate and share on other boards. If you find this story particularly compelling, watch the first season of the Syfy original series Channel Zero, which is based off this creepypasta. 

3. Robert the Doll

A post shared by 😱معرفی فیلم های ترسناک👻 (@filme_tarsnak) on Apr 3, 2018 at 12:48am PDT

Not for the faint of heart, Robert the Doll really exists. The myths surrounding him vary, especially since it became so popular on the internet. The doll was given to artist Robert Eugene Otto in the late 1800s or early 1900s by a servant working in his family home. The doll, which he named after himself, then took on a life of its own and began to terrorize the family.

Otto is said to have kept his doll into adulthood and it subsequently tormented his late wife to insanity. When the doll was found by another family, the girl to whom it was given was terrified of it and refused to have it in her room.

The doll is currently residing in the Fort East Martello Museum in Key West, Florida. Visitors must ask Robert politely if they want to take his photo. If they mock him or take his photo without permission, Robert is said to lay a curse on them.

4. Anasi's Goatman Story

A post shared by Only Stupid Answers (@onlystupidanswers) on Aug 15, 2016 at 10:04am PDT

Based on a Native American legend, this creepypasta was originally found on 4Chan's paranormal board /x/, where some of the best creepypastas can be found.

The story follows a teenager who goes down to Alabama to be with his extended family. While he, his cousins, and their friends are camping out in the woods, they see a strange figure — the Goatman — jerking and spouting gibberish as it follows them. They spend the rest of the night in fear as the Goatman slowly infiltrates the group, terrorizing the teens into a frenzied state of paranoia.

This mix of pre-existing lore and new narrative is not rare for creepypastas, but it's the strength of the writing that really makes this particular story worth sharing. There are variations of this story, but most follow a similar formula where a group is stalked by the titular monster with different outcomes.

5. The Russian Sleep Experiment

A post shared by All Things Horror Lover (@allthingshorrorlover) on May 5, 2018 at 1:10pm PDT

A staple of best creepypasta lists everywhere, the title of this story itself carries with it a sense of dread and horror. Shortly after World War II, five political prisoners are subjected to an experiment in which they have to remain awake for 30 days in a tank filled with an experimental gas. As with most science-gone-wrong stories, the test subjects begin to lose their minds among a number of other gruesome symptoms. The horror does not end when the experimenters try to save their subjects — far from it.

Just know that this story may not be appropriate if you are squeamish or dislike gore, as the narrative goes into graphic detail about the physical state of the patients. Thankfully there are no pictures, or this would be the ultimate nightmare fuel.

6. Jeff the Killer

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A post shared by @creepypasta_0505 on Sep 4, 2018 at 10:30pm PDT

If you've never laid eyes on the infamous image of Jeff the Killer before, consider yourself lucky. The basic story concerns Jeff, a serial killer who hides in the closet and whispers "go to sleep" to its victim before slaughtering everyone in the household. Even more disturbing than his M.O. is his appearance — his face is smooth and stark white, a huge grin and small lid-less eyes. He is one of the most easily recognizable creepypastas, with his eerie stare posted across forums.

His origin story involves a fight that resulted in a chemical burn on his face and caused him to suffer a mental break. Soon after, he murdered his family and disappeared into the night to make guest appearances in your nightmares.

7. BEN Drowned

A post shared by you shouldn't have done that (@ben.is.drown) on May 3, 2016 at 4:04am PDT

Hacked video games are often found in creepypastas, but none is more infamous than BEN Drowned, the story of Matt, a college-age boy who picks up a hacked cartridge of The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask at a garage sale. 

As the boy plays, he captures the strange occurrences in the game and real life until it ultimately culminates into a full haunting. The narrator and BEN's fates are left up to the reader's imagination, but the tale implies that a happy ending is not in the realm of possibility.

This creepypasta is one of the few that integrate multiple types of media into the story. There is the text of the story itself — both a formal post version that went up on 4Chan's /x/ forums in real time and a diary included on the final post — and videos of the disturbing gameplay under the YouTube channel Alex Hall (originally Jadusable). The footage includes a warped soundtrack, terrifying glitches, and a creepy statue that is supposed to be BEN following the player around. 

While the story is clearly fictional, the level of dedication to creating this eerie story makes it worth the read.

8. Persuaded

A post shared by Dark Town (@darktown.cz) on Jul 12, 2017 at 6:29am PDT

Zombies definitely have a place in creepypastas, especially after having taken over the majority of pop culture. However, in the spirit of keeping readers on their toes, these zombies don't need frenzied biting to increase their numbers, which elevates this tale above and beyond other zombie-inspired creepypastas.

After a massive oil spill, all those touched by the substance begin to viciously attack other creatures, causing mass panic across the country. The nameless protagonist holes himself up in his apartment, waiting for the screaming, violent horde to come crashing through his door and tear him limb from limb. If only that had actually happened, instead of the two day-long nightmare that really unfolds.

9. Smile Dog

A post shared by Son Of Darkness (@son_of.darkness) on Aug 24, 2018 at 5:57am PDT

If there's any story on this list that best captures the message "be careful what you wish for," Smile Dog is it. The creepypasta deals with an image posted on an old bulletin board system back in 1992 called smile.jpg. Those who saw the image either disappeared or died, save for one Mary E., who the narrator goes to interview. What he eventually learns is that some things, even simple pictures, are better left as mysteries than dealing with the horrifying truth.

In case you were wondering, the story does come with an accompanying image, but you may not want to see it after reading the full story. Though, in the end, you may not have a choice.

10. Annora Petrova

A post shared by The Unknown (@daily_creepypasta) on Jan 4, 2015 at 9:27am PST

This tale reminds us that it's best not to Google yourself, no matter how tempting it may be. Annora Petrova was one of the most promising figure skaters in the United States, until she discovered a sentient Wikipedia page about her. After trying to selfishly alter her fate by editing the page, her life spirals out of control in the most unexpected ways, until she is a friendless orphan (which isn't even the worst part).

While the Wikipedia page does not actually exist, it's a harrowing tale about messing with the unknown forces of the internet. If you do check this story out, make sure you click on the image at the bottom of the email for an extra layer of spookiness.

11. NoEnd House

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Yo, if you're not watching #ChannelZero on #SyFy get 👏 on 👏 that 👏 shit! Each season is a different story, season 1 is on Shudder, the other two are on SyFy.com #horror #candlecove #noendhouse #butchersblock

A post shared by WHO GOES THERE PODCAST (@whogoestherepodcast) on Aug 18, 2018 at 9:34am PDT

Haunted houses are at the center of many famous scary narratives, and surviving the night in one earned teenagers instant respect. Still, is the potential trauma and death worth the admiration of people who you'll likely never see again after graduation? This creepypasta answers with a firm and decisive "no."

NoEnd House promises $500 to whomever can survive a trip through its nine rooms of torture, a challenge that our narrator David readily accepts. The rooms begin to grow increasingly sinister and evil, pushing the limits of David's psyche and humanity. Are nine rooms really worth such a small monetary compensation that won't even pay for one therapy session?

The Syfy series Channel Zero also covers this creepypasta in its second season if you want to add some visuals to this spooky story.

12. Psychosis

A post shared by The Art Of Milta Svartvis (@nordteufel) on Aug 24, 2018 at 6:31am PDT

Can you really trust what you see and feel? Is your life all a computer simulation? Do we live in the Matrix? Are we all just people in someone's else dream that is bound to end? Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy?

Existentialism may not be the scariest of philosophies, but Psychosis shows that proving human existence beyond innate fears and paranoia is an inner battle that can never be won.

John soon finds out that he's been cut off from the rest of the world — his only communication with other people is through electronic devices. He quickly becomes paranoid and becomes convinced that everyone around him is lying, trying to get him to come outside his door so an unknown entity can get him. His logic tries to defy his gut feeling, but he falls further into the belief that something has gone horribly wrong outside, and it's coming for him next.

13. Doors

A post shared by The Unknown (@daily_creepypasta) on May 17, 2014 at 1:48pm PDT

This creepypasta is popular for its Shyamalan-esque nature. The tale follows a family with a young male narrator who talks about their daily lives together.

One night, the household is attacked by a mysterious figure that our intrepid protagonist tries to chase out. Giving any more of the plot away would ruin the surprise, but this story proves that brevity can be an effective tool when used to properly horrifying and amaze.

14. Gateway of the Mind

A post shared by Synther (@creepypastap0sts) on Jun 23, 2013 at 9:29am PDT

Ever wonder what would happen if you couldn't see, hear, smell, taste, or touch? Well, this creepypasta is here to put that theory to the test in what is honestly the most terrifying science experiment.

The story centers around a group of scientists who wish to make contact with God, and they believe that this could be possible by removing the body of all five senses. After performing a complex sensory surgery on a test subject, the poor person is completely disoriented and begins to hallucinate and "hear" people who have passed away.

What happens at the end is extremely meta, but the grueling details involving the pure mental torture the subject goes through is enough to absolutely creep anyone out.

15. The Rake

A post shared by Creepypasta is my life❤ (@creepylenya) on Jan 20, 2018 at 12:35am PST

This monster may not be as famous as his cousin, Slender Man, but he sure is just as creepy. The Rake is a humanoid creature that is completely pale, hairless, and has a thirst for human flesh.

According to Know Your Meme, this creature was originally created in 4chan's /b/ board where someone opened a "make your own monster" thread. The description that eventually became a part of The Rake was, "no apparent mouth, pale skin, six feet tall when standing, but usually crouches and walks on all fours, no nose, no mouth," and many other disturbing physical features.

Eventually this creature played a central role in many creepypastas. Most of these stories primarily involve documented encounters with the monster, and more often than not, the person dealing with The Rake never makes it out alive. 

16. Lavender Town Syndrome

A post shared by Aura\|/ (@aurablade0012) on Mar 11, 2016 at 7:55pm PST

A classic video game creepypasta that hits a little too close to home for those of us who grew up playing the original Pokémon Red and Blue during the late '90s. This creepypasta centers around the game Pokémon Green, which was only released in Japan in 1996. 

According to the legend, rates of illness and suicide in children in Japan between the ages of 7-12 have reached a fever pitch. The common connection between all of them? They all played Pokémon Green and had reached an area known as Lavender Town whose theme music had extremely high pitches. 

After conducting studies on this phenomenon that became known as "Lavender Town Syndrome," scientists realized that there was a certain tone in the town's music that only the ears of young children and teens could hear. This had essentially drove this demographic who played the game to insanity, causing them to have headaches, ear issues, and die from suicide.

While this sparked many theories and creepypastas surrounding Lavender Town and the original Pokémon games, this creepypasta is actually loosely based off a real-life incident involving a Pokémon episode that only aired in Japan in 1997. 

During the airing of the 38th episode of the original Pokémon television series titled Electric Soldier Porygon, a scene that made use of extreme flashing images gave hundreds of children epileptic seizures. 

17. The Expressionless

A post shared by the eEyore (@the.eeyore) on Jul 24, 2018 at 6:52am PDT

In this creepypasta classic, a woman wearing a white gown that was covered in blood stumbled into a hospital in 1972. According to the nurse who is recounting this event, she said that this woman had the appearance of a mannequin, but was very much human-like in her movement and mannerisms.

After throwing a kitten she had clamped in her jaws on the ground, doctors and nurses rushed the woman into a hospital room for evaluation. Little does the hospital staff know that they have no idea who, or rather what, they're dealing with. 

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This story was originally published in 2013 and updated in 2018.