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[kbaldwin0609]

'The Bachelor': 29 thoughts about Arie's 29 women

Waiting for the new season of The Bachelor is kind of like dating. There’s a lot of misplaced hope, as we in Bachelor Nation pore over the photos of bios of the “ladies” who have signed up to humiliate themselves/possibly find temporary companionship on national TV.  Maybe this will be the year that the majority of the contestants have a real job, not just a real job with the word “former” in front of it. Maybe this will be the year that not every single woman will have hair that looks like Cousin Itt asked someone to give him a Farrah Fawcett perm. (Topical references for the win!) Maybe this will be the year that watching The Bachelor doesn’t make us hate ourselves, men, and most women on the planet.

Recently ABC released the names of the 29 women who’ll try to win over new Bachelor Arie Luyendyk Jr., and I can happily report that this year, at least one of those wishes came true. Click through to learn more about Arie’s 29 women, courtesy of the always fun facts gleaned from their ABC bios.

The Bachelor premieres Monday, Jan. 1 at 8 p.m. on ABC.

Ali, 27

She’s a personal stylist from Oklahoma. Listens to Nickleback, and has the good sense to be embarrassed about it. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Amber, 29

She also would like to be a Disney princess. So there’s that. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Annaliese, 32

This event designer from California is probably the first Bachelor contestant ever to drop a Futurama reference into her bio — so she’s got that going for her. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Ashley, 25

This real estate agent from Florida thinks New York City is the most romantic city in the country. Same. (If by “romantic” you mean “most likely to smell like urine.”) (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Becca K., 27

This publicist from Prior Lake, MN can’t live without Chapstick. Same. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Bekah M.

This pixie doesn’t reveal her age on ABC’s site, though Reality Steve says she’s 22, which would make her the show’s youngest-ever contestant — not counting emotional ages, of course. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Bibiana, 30

This executive assistant from Miami loves popping pimples and wishes she could “be art.” Gonna go ahead and guess that she was slightly tipsy when she filled out her questionnaire. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Bri, 25

This sports reporter from Oregon says she has an Emmy. Bri: 1, The Bachelor: 0. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Brittane J., 27

Brittane says if she could have lunch with any three people living or dead, she’d choose Whitney Houston, Bernie Sanders, and Beyoncé. Putting together that amazing hypothetical threesome may make Brittane the most accomplished Bachelor contestant to date. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Brittany T., 30

In 5 years this tech recruiter from South Carolina hopes to be “married with two corgis” — so The Bachelor is a logical first step toward that goal. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Caroline, 26

She’s a realtor, a former Miss Massachusetts Teen USA, a Riverdale fan. Plus, she has a plant named Phil. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Chelsea, 29

Chelsea says she hates it when her date displays “over-the-top PDA,” so I’m sure she’ll be real comfortable having 1920×1080 pixel images of Arie’s tongue in her mouth being broadcast in high definition all across these United States. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Jacqueline, 26

Jackie is working toward getting Ph.D. in chemical psychology and says her career is “very important to me.” So let’s hope she applied to be on The Bachelor as… research? (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Jenna, 28

I’m starting to get face blindness from all these perky, long-haired blondes, tbh. This one is a social media manager, or something. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Jenny, 25

She’s a graphic designer and loves “Sundays lying in bed all day, watching reality TV and eating pizza.” Same. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Jessica, 26

She’s a TV host from Canada, and she claims her all-time favorite book is Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes — so you know she’s gunning for a job at ABC when this whole Arie situation is over. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Kendall, 26

Ah, the token “weirdo.” Her spirit animal is a bat, she collects taxidermy, and she once drove a car through the caboose of a moving train. Definitely too interesting for Arie. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Krystal, 29

This fitness coach from Montana uses the phrases “not my jam” and “thebomb.com” in her bio, so there’s that. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Lauren B., 25

This tech salesperson from Virginia Beach has always wanted to be a Disney princess and admits to being “basic.” Welp, at least she’s self-aware. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Lauren G., 26

This executive recruiter from Indianapolis, IN loves Oprah and hates grocery shopping. Same. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Lauren J., 33

Arie’s oldest potential wife, which may be why she’s confident enough to admit to “putting a legit body towel over me and ordering pizza.” (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Lauren S., 31

She’s the second-oldest contestant, which may be why her questionnaire reads like it was written by a 12-year-old. Sample life goal: To be “literally anyone in Taylor Swift’s girl squad” for a day. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Maquel, 23

I’m sorry… Maquel? Are we 100 percent sure that’s actually a name? (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Marikh, 27

This restaurant owner from Utah secretly longs to have silver hair, even though it would clearly be a terrible match with her skin tone. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Nysha, 30

Nysha, an orthopedic nurse from South Carolina, seems to know that “applying to be on a reality TV show where millions of people will judge you” might not be as fun as it sounds. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Olivia, 23

Her favorite book of all time is 50 Shades of Grey, so… yeah. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Seinne, 27

Her favorite holiday is New Year’s Eve, which means that the harsh grind of mundane reality has yet to crush her spirit. Stay strong, Sienne! (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Tia, 26

The physical therapist from Arkansas says her best trip ever was a trip to a “random swingers resort” in Cancun — so she should fit right in at Casa Bachelor. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Valerie, 25

Is this the first-ever ringer tee in Bachelor bio photo history? Go on with your bad self, Valerie. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

[kbaldwin0609]

'The Bachelor': 29 thoughts about Arie's 29 women

Waiting for the new season of The Bachelor is kind of like dating. There’s a lot of misplaced hope, as we in Bachelor Nation pore over the photos of bios of the “ladies” who have signed up to humiliate themselves/possibly find temporary companionship on national TV.  Maybe this will be the year that the majority of the contestants have a real job, not just a real job with the word “former” in front of it. Maybe this will be the year that not every single woman will have hair that looks like Cousin Itt asked someone to give him a Farrah Fawcett perm. (Topical references for the win!) Maybe this will be the year that watching The Bachelor doesn’t make us hate ourselves, men, and most women on the planet.

Recently ABC released the names of the 29 women who’ll try to win over new Bachelor Arie Luyendyk Jr., and I can happily report that this year, at least one of those wishes came true. Click through to learn more about Arie’s 29 women, courtesy of the always fun facts gleaned from their ABC bios.

The Bachelor premieres Monday, Jan. 1 at 8 p.m. on ABC.

Ali, 27

She’s a personal stylist from Oklahoma. Listens to Nickleback, and has the good sense to be embarrassed about it. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Amber, 29

She also would like to be a Disney princess. So there’s that. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Annaliese, 32

This event designer from California is probably the first Bachelor contestant ever to drop a Futurama reference into her bio — so she’s got that going for her. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Ashley, 25

This real estate agent from Florida thinks New York City is the most romantic city in the country. Same. (If by “romantic” you mean “most likely to smell like urine.”) (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Becca K., 27

This publicist from Prior Lake, MN can’t live without Chapstick. Same. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Bekah M.

This pixie doesn’t reveal her age on ABC’s site, though Reality Steve says she’s 22, which would make her the show’s youngest-ever contestant — not counting emotional ages, of course. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Bibiana, 30

This executive assistant from Miami loves popping pimples and wishes she could “be art.” Gonna go ahead and guess that she was slightly tipsy when she filled out her questionnaire. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Bri, 25

This sports reporter from Oregon says she has an Emmy. Bri: 1, The Bachelor: 0. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Brittane J., 27

Brittane says if she could have lunch with any three people living or dead, she’d choose Whitney Houston, Bernie Sanders, and Beyoncé. Putting together that amazing hypothetical threesome may make Brittane the most accomplished Bachelor contestant to date. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Brittany T., 30

In 5 years this tech recruiter from South Carolina hopes to be “married with two corgis” — so The Bachelor is a logical first step toward that goal. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Caroline, 26

She’s a realtor, a former Miss Massachusetts Teen USA, a Riverdale fan. Plus, she has a plant named Phil. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Chelsea, 29

Chelsea says she hates it when her date displays “over-the-top PDA,” so I’m sure she’ll be real comfortable having 1920×1080 pixel images of Arie’s tongue in her mouth being broadcast in high definition all across these United States. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Jacqueline, 26

Jackie is working toward getting Ph.D. in chemical psychology and says her career is “very important to me.” So let’s hope she applied to be on The Bachelor as… research? (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Jenna, 28

I’m starting to get face blindness from all these perky, long-haired blondes, tbh. This one is a social media manager, or something. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Jenny, 25

She’s a graphic designer and loves “Sundays lying in bed all day, watching reality TV and eating pizza.” Same. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Jessica, 26

She’s a TV host from Canada, and she claims her all-time favorite book is Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes — so you know she’s gunning for a job at ABC when this whole Arie situation is over. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Kendall, 26

Ah, the token “weirdo.” Her spirit animal is a bat, she collects taxidermy, and she once drove a car through the caboose of a moving train. Definitely too interesting for Arie. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Krystal, 29

This fitness coach from Montana uses the phrases “not my jam” and “thebomb.com” in her bio, so there’s that. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Lauren B., 25

This tech salesperson from Virginia Beach has always wanted to be a Disney princess and admits to being “basic.” Welp, at least she’s self-aware. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Lauren G., 26

This executive recruiter from Indianapolis, IN loves Oprah and hates grocery shopping. Same. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Lauren J., 33

Arie’s oldest potential wife, which may be why she’s confident enough to admit to “putting a legit body towel over me and ordering pizza.” (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Lauren S., 31

She’s the second-oldest contestant, which may be why her questionnaire reads like it was written by a 12-year-old. Sample life goal: To be “literally anyone in Taylor Swift’s girl squad” for a day. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Maquel, 23

I’m sorry… Maquel? Are we 100 percent sure that’s actually a name? (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Marikh, 27

This restaurant owner from Utah secretly longs to have silver hair, even though it would clearly be a terrible match with her skin tone. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Nysha, 30

Nysha, an orthopedic nurse from South Carolina, seems to know that “applying to be on a reality TV show where millions of people will judge you” might not be as fun as it sounds. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Olivia, 23

Her favorite book of all time is 50 Shades of Grey, so… yeah. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Seinne, 27

Her favorite holiday is New Year’s Eve, which means that the harsh grind of mundane reality has yet to crush her spirit. Stay strong, Sienne! (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Tia, 26

The physical therapist from Arkansas says her best trip ever was a trip to a “random swingers resort” in Cancun — so she should fit right in at Casa Bachelor. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV

Valerie, 25

Is this the first-ever ringer tee in Bachelor bio photo history? Go on with your bad self, Valerie. (Photo: ABC)

Source: Yahoo TV