#a bunch of lil things. some stacks of paper. a stack of drawings done on the big paper

[peapod20001]

How y’all feel about this setup

[weirdo-with-a-nametag]

Brain is tv static with random frames interspersed

Think I'm like. Really stressed and jumping between topics to try and find something that helps / feels good

Topics:

Anyone know a good health tracking app for adhd people? I want one that like pops up when you open your phone, maybe? But is unobtrusive. Like maybe you just rate your mood or whatever when you open your phone, and it closes, and you go about your business. I just hate every app and paper method I've tried but really want to track some stuff

Pigeon. ? Pigeon as pet?

Service animals re: cats, pigeons, my cat specifically, and then also ESAs and also what to use as treats while training my cat (he's pretty happy to learn behaviors with praise and pets as reinforcement, but treats would make everything move much faster, but I haven't found something I want to give him so we've just been y'know. Chillin)

Service animals re: what tasks can my pet potentially do that would help me? I don't really know a lot about service animals and there is a Huge range. If anyone has suggestions, or places to read about it, I'd appreciate it! Mostly thinking they may help with anxiety, sensory, and mobility/fatigue related stuff. Not much of a need for medical alerts.

Bioactive enclosures for my snakes, need to research their biomes and make progress on designs and equipment specifications

Also. Hit a seriously hard patch and haven't been handling them much at all this month so that's not great

Casting stuff. Saw jewelry today made of metal casts of claws, skulls, etc, and they were really well done and made me want to do that

Some taxidermy / vulture culture stuff I won't get into right now

Puzzles????

How to organize my room

Need a shower

Need to organize bathroom

So Much Schoolwork

Uhhhhh trying, but not making much headway, to figure out how I want to do my music collection. Also really need to clean my records..

Make?

Food??? Ew.

Dental hygiene ://

Plampts. So many. Houseplants need maintenance, many need repotting. Keep taking in people's problem plants and like, they're doing better, largely, after being trimmed and watered and whatnot, but need repotting. Also need to trim some aquarium plants.

Also need to put water in tanks. And spray nepenthes.

Laundry.

Gotta pick up trash in my room. There's so much. Everywhere. Why.

Schoolwork. I'm so behind. So, so stuck. Kind of feel like I'm dying.

Going on a picnic tomorrow. Have to figure out what still needs doing for that, probably need to go to the store.

Leo needs water. I'm so....ugh, I'm trying so hard, but it feels impossible. I do my best to take good care of my pets, and I think they live pretty good lives most of the time, but sometimes I get like This and completely drop off the face of the earth and then like, wake up or whatever and two weeks have passed by and I have not cleaned a water bowl! That's a serious problem!!!! I do not know how to combat that, really, besides more reminders. Having someone around who is willing to like, help, when things are especially hard, would be great, but I don't live with my partner right now and do not feel like I can ask anyone here for that. But I can't put my animals at risk. I check on them every day, and if their bowls are dirty I do take them out and clean them, but sometimes (like now) i cannot get myself to do it without a pressure like a dirty bowl, or a feeding day. And like, it's really important that they have clean water. I'm talking to myself here but like, if anyone has advice. Please. With the tank redesigns and upgrades, the bowls will be more accessible, which will help because one of them is very heavy at the angle I have to pick it up, and another requires moving a lot of branches and is best to take out while the snake is out (this is Leo) which is fine because I love my boy, but adds time to the process, and makes it harder to start, you know? Maybe if I just got more bowls - I could take the bowl out and immediately replace it, fill the new one, and replace the decor and snake, and then clean the bowl as a separate task? That would be easier for my brain. Currently I have a Specific bowl I prefer to use for each tank, and then everything else is Just In Case, but I mean. Acquiring extras is something I want to do anyway, and it may help with several problems, so. Yeah. I'll try that. But also, any other ideas, guys?

Anxiety: can't stop picking at my face, skin, nails, cuticles, scalp, pretty much everywhere with callouses, also scratched a mole off my face, which is something I've been trying Not to do for a while, so that's...not great. Can't find my earmuffs, and also all of my headphones are painful? Ears are really sensitive lately.

Been playing a lot of Moth Game (flutter: starlight if you wanna be friends say hey I don't know how to do it but would enjoy talking about moths if nothing else. The game is just like, an idle ish collecting game with cutesy versions of different species, and very little actual information, but it's still fun, and if anyone else is on there and also Into Moths like I am, hiiiii) and like it's fun and cute but also greatly impacting my productivity, and raises my stress levels during events, which is most days, so the game has. Not been helping. But I can't stop because then I'll miss Exclusive Moths.

Anyway. Had baklava and two mugs of Thai tea today and the sugar has made me nauseous.

Trying to journal. Hurts to write. Also takes too long. Also my handwriting is very bad. But typing is..not as good

Want to draw. Thinking about drawing cats

Plants again! Want to make seed bombs, have seeds, have most of the other ingredients, just need to put em together, basically.

Really sad :(

Or am I?

Weird noise coming from dining room?

Birds. Spent half an hour at least on the deck tonight listening to a hundred different bird calls (literally) to identify one I was hearing, it was a pine siskin, which I checked early on but the recording was bad and I didn't realize which call was identified. Anyway, cool to put a name to a face, so to speak.

Need to practice for ASL

So much.....to do...

Only had like >3 hours of work this week which was not great because money, but also like I'm really feeling those 3 hours....

My cat is basically refusing to come into my room? Which is very strange and I'm worried something is Off but cannot figure out what. Also means less cuddles which means I'm sad.

It feels strange whenever people follow me, the attention is nice but I have no idea what content y'all are here for. So to everyone: hi, enjoy, hope my random personal posts aren't a surprise to anyone who followed for like. News reblogs and informational stuff.

Do I even have it in me to..be successful in school? Should I drop out of college? I'm struggling really hard and do not feel like I'm building on the skills I need to continue, so like. Uh.

My dad is being. Abrasive.

Mom and grandma are very angry lately

Housemate is also angry, about things i thought we were on good terms about, so I am stressed because like,, are we okay?

Can't find my eye mask :(

Yoga? Like...restorative yoga? Need to track down my PT stuff. And. Do it.

Need to put the stickers on my license plates....oops...

Still haven't found my antidepressants! Yay!

Do I want to store my stuff in open bins, or with lids? Which stuff needs spill protection and stacking capability and which stuff needs easy access?

How to earn money without..chaos

Gotta go to the pet store tomorrow. Have to compile my list of pet store items i need. Uhhhhhhhhhh

Also I have an essay due tomorrow that I've barely started. So. Wooooooo

Kt tape for supporting arches / inner ankles? I keep messing up my ankles, and part of it is walking wrong because I don't have the energy to engage the muscles in my feet/legs right to like, avoid injury, and part of it is I just need new shoes inserts. But i wear slippers a lot and they do not have arch support and it hurts. PT to help with this also but Where Is It

Family can't seem to get dish soap I can use, so I've just been having to avoid washing anything by hand, or being in the general kitchen area while anyone uses the stuff, which has led to more of my dishes sitting out, and more conflict over dishes. Lovely.

How hard is it for parents to learn they have to respect boundaries? Very hard, apparently. And you're supposed to just sort of remind people, and explain, over and over and over but like at this point my self worth is actually pretty good and the lifetime of proof that they do not want to listen? That's making me want to stop trying. Like, if you're not going to respect my boundaries I'm just not going to involve you in my life. I'm not talking to my dad right now because of this. Maybe I'll decide to lay things out to him, again and again and again again, maybe not. And I'm comfortable saying that's on him.

How to drink water

Am I dehydrated or are my hands just completely callous now. My fingertips have such hard skin. Why? It's uncomfortable. This is part of why I've been biting them.

Also testosterone. Been having a lot of trouble doing my shots, because anxiety and physical freakouts, but also not feeling super urgent about it. Which I'm realizing may be a sign i need to look at the effects so far and the possible effects of continuing, and see what they make me feel. It's possible I'm where I want to be as far as T, and don't really want to stay on it. A big thing for me is a deeper voice, so it seems time to take a look at whether I like my voice where it is or want to see if it'll drop any more. Etc etc

Miss my lil sisters

Saw a lot of cool rocks today. Huge (like hand sized) ammonite for $28. May go back and buy one because. Wow.

Want to plant food plants

Also my natives. Whole garden plot standing empty with a bunch of stuff waiting in nursery pots, needing to go in the ground. Because I can't get out of bed. Love that. Stuff is dying out there, I'm dying in here, there's a poetry to it and I do not want to romanticize suffering so I will say this: I brought a Bucket full of moss home a month ago and planted it and now go outside sometimes to drench my moss and it is very rewarding because the stuff is just so green. Incredible. When the rest of my plants are finally in the ground, that feeling will only intensify. But, for now, the moss is very nice.

Made a glow in the dark bead lizard from memory during therapy yesterday, and I love him. Also, still struggling with bringing up autism and psychosis topics with my therapist. Still very worried about. Things. Would like to get a new person? But sometimes she is helpful? And we have a routine. It's very hard to break the routine. Maybe I can set some time aside during the summer, to figure out what to do there.

Term ends in a couple weeks. The task of catching up, of passing, seems impossible. I really need to pass my courses. I'm on academic warning, because my GPA is lower than it should be, and if I can pass all of my classes this term I can get off academic warning but otherwise I'm not sure what will happen to my financial aid.

My phone is playing the same 50-100 songs on shuffle and I don't even particularly like most of them and it is very strange

Got my face wipes! Hooray, i can wash my face again

Been eating too much sugar in general. It's making my joints hurt more, and the nausea

Pet a dog the other day. I miss that. It would be really nice to have a dog in the house again. The exuberance, the cuddles, the tail wagging, the walks... I'd really like that. Maybe once I'm out in my room, tanks and catio built and everyone is situated, I'll look into getting a dog instead of a cat next. Was planning on holding off in case I'm not physically able to take them out on walks and such, but I've been pretty successful at doing this job, and I think that my main hurdle for walking really is motivation. Dog walking is a strong motivator for me. Best to start by fostering, or just do Wag, for a while though. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current responsibilities, and here I am talking about getting a dog. Good job, me

How do you get wax off of somewhat water soluble rocks? My housemate broke my lava lamp on some of my rock collection and I am not sure how to get some of them clean without damage.

I am...pretty sure there are collared doves nesting over my room but it seems they're less common around here than I thought? But they are..pretty distinctive. Like if I'm wrong, what are those birds. Some very distinctly colored feral pigeons? Who are nesting here, in a tree, without their flock, and who happen to have pretty much the exact same pattern?

Probably should go to the dollar store and get some bins for organizing

Been wanting to keep a bin by the door and stock it with stim/fidget stuff people can just .have ..like extras of some of my favorites and other things i can get ahold of, to offer to my friends who haven't really had the chance to explore the world of stim toys

Hands are really just not doing great the last several weeks. Arthritis type pain cropping up more and more in all the little joints, making it hurt more to write, type, or just use them for whatever. Coordination isn't great because of that distraction, and because my hands/arms are slow to respond and kinda weak. Most people would say I'm not using them enough but I've been doing 15ish hours of manual labor per week, so maybe it's the other direction? More water would help. If only it wasn't so heavy.

I haven't taken a single shower since I started my job. Which was March 29th. That's not great.

Practiced parallel parking today. 10/10 still very bad at it.

Having anxiety that my friends think I'm lying about things, faking, and are watching me to see if I'll slip up. So that sucks. Can either talk about that directly or indirectly, or just shut up about those things until I can get my brain under control again. I'm not sure right now if the reassurance would work as a reality check or make me believe it more, right now, so might hold off on the talking bit for a little while.

Saw, smelled, picked a couple pretty roses. Good times

At this point I'm just trying to list all my thoughts so that maybe I'll be able to sleep and not worry I'll forget

My mom has put her spider plant on the deck, and it has maybe five living leaves. I have no idea how she killed such a well established spider plant, the last time I saw it it was so happy. Did she stick it in a corner and forget to water it? Whatever happened, it is now in the Plant ER, so hopefully I'll be able to...help get it on the up and up again

Leo is such a pretty noodle. He's so pretty. He's posing. Hi, baby boy.

Oh, he saw me moving around and decided to come say hi. Sorry little man, i did not mean to disturb you. Please resume lounging. I can't bring you out right now, I'm trying to sleep.

Also, terrariums. Water features. Need to ask. Someone. The one who was making that super cool garter snake enclosure and blogging the progress? With the lazy river and pool? About maintenance on that kind of setup. My milk snake really enjoys water, and I'd love to put a water feature in his tank. But I'm unclear on how to keep it clean, or honestly where to start. Don't want any huge falls or anything, though it actually may not make the humidity too high if I did maybe a small drip wall into the pool? That seems like something he would enjoy, and a good way to support different types of plants. But like, that's the thing, it's bioactive and I haven't done that before and no amount of research is ever enough.

Oh, Shogun has a dirt hat. How cute. I love when they do that

See, this is the thing. My snakes make me so happy. All three of them are actually hanging out where I can see them from my bed right now, and it's really nice. I want their lives to be the best possible, and I think I have the resources to do that. Which is so exciting. Now if only my brain and body would cooperate. It would hurt quite a lot to have to re-home any of them, but the most important thing is their health and quality of life, you know? If I can't get my act together somewhat, it may be that one or all of them would be better off with another keeper. I don't know. It's just, i talk about all these tank ideas and all this husbandry standards stuff but how much of it actually gets applied to my own animals whose lives are in my hands? How well am I caring for them, really?

Oh!!! My red thread! I thought that was gone forever.

Anyway, please do not worry. My snakes are healthy. I pay attention, and watch for signs of illness, and they're okay. There will always be places to improve, and the water is a big one, but most of the time i change their water out frequently, I'm just worried because of bad depression and fatigue times, you know? I'm working on making the most self sustaining systems i can, in part so that I am sure they'll be okay if I mess up sometimes. Just saying this because I hope you guys don't feel like you need to worry about the welfare of my pets. They're okay, i just always want better for them, is all.

Anyway, the sun is coming up and I should probably go to sleep. So uh, thanks for reading, if you read all of this randomness, and if anyone has thoughts or advice on anything in this post, i would welcome it! Good night!

[cait-with-luv]

J.JK Soul Ink - Playlist

Previous | Next

¬ Me, Myself & I - G-Eazy ft Bebe Rexha

Oh, it's just me, myself and I Solo ride until I die Cause I, got me for life,yeah Oh I don't need a hand to hold Even when the night is cold I got that fire in my soul

¬ Him & I - G-Eazy ft Halsey

Cross my heart, hope to die To my lover, I'd never lie He said "be true", I swear I'll try In the end, it's him and I He's out his head, I'm out my mind We got that love, the crazy kind I am his and he is mine In the end, it's him and I, him and I

¬  You Don't Own Me - Grace ft G-Eazy

You don't own me I'm not just one of your many toys You don't own me Don't say I can't go with other boys

Don't tell me what to do And don't tell me what to say Please, when I go out with you Don't put me on display

¬Control - Halsey

I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me" And I tried to hold these secrets inside me My mind's like a deadly disease

I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones

¬ Gasoline - Halsey

And all the people say You can't wake up, this is not a dream You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

I think there's a flaw in my code These voices won't leave me alone Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

¬Hold me down - Halsey

My demons are begging me to open up my mouth I need them, mechanically make the words come out They fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce Ignite me, licking up the flames they bring about

¬ Without Me - Halsey

Gave love 'bout a hundred tries Just running from the demons in your mind Then I took yours and made 'em mine I didn't notice 'cause my love was blind

¬ Nightmare - Halsey

I've tasted blood and it is sweet I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet I've trusted lies and trusted men Broke down and put myself back together again Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger I've pinched my skin in between my two fingers And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors

¬ Now or Never - Halsey

Never pick up, never call me You know we're runnin' out of time Never pick up when you want me Now I gotta draw a line Baby I done, done enough talking Need to know that you're mine Baby we done, done enough talking Gotta be right now, right now

¬ I Walk The Line - Halsey

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time I keep the ends out for the tie that binds Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true I find myself alone when each day is through Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you

¬  Desperado - Rihanna

Gotta get up out of here and You ain't leaving me behind I know you won't, 'cause we share common interests you Need me, there ain't no leaving me behind Never know, no, just want out of here yeah Once I'm gone, ain't no going back

¬Needed Me - Rihanna

I was good on my own, that's the way it was That's the way it was You was good on the low for a faded fuck On some faded love Shit, what the fuck you complaining for? Feeling jaded huh? Used to trip off that shit I was kickin' to you Had some fun on the run though I give it to you

¬I'm Gonna Show You Crazy -  Bebe Rexha

I'm tired of trying to be normal I'm always over-thinking I'm driving myself crazy So what if I'm fucking crazy?

And I don't need your quick fix I don't want your prescriptions Just 'cause you say I'm crazy So what if I'm fucking crazy? Yeah, I'm gonna show you

¬ Bad Bitch - Bebe Rexha ft Ty Dolla $ign

You're sayin' that your tired of all your empty habits You want something that's deeper 'cause you're over the generics You're fuckin' with them basics when you really want the baddest So come on, baby, get it, 'cause to miss it, it would be tragic

¬ Straight Shooter - Skylar Grey

Married into this family and I'm datin' a bunch of outlaws Even the children drawing guns out of little crayon box Playing with scissors, cuttin' straight to the point Don't need to beat around the bush, we takin' shots to the groin

¬ Yonce/Partition - Beyoncé

Driver roll up the partition please I don't need you seeing 'Yonce on her knees Took forty-five minutes to get all dressed up We ain't even gonna make it to this club Now my mascara running, red lipstick smudged

¬ Or Nah - SoMo (Rendition)

I'm a freaky-deeky lover wanna hit you from the back and other ways That you have never experimented under the covers Roll around the bed with me is something you don't just discover If you wanna get with me you gotta keep it on one hundred I'mma make you scream my name

¬ The Hills - The Weeknd

I only love it when you touch me, not feel me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, yeah

¬ Gangsta - Kehlani

I'm fucked up, I'm black and blue I'm built for it, all the abuse I got secrets, that nobody, nobody knows I'm good on, that pussy shit I don't want, what I can get I want someone, with secrets That nobody, nobody, nobody knows

¬ CRZY - Kehlani

Everything I do, I do it with a passion If I gotta be a bitch, I'ma be a bad one I'm AI with the designs, du-ragging Bounce back game good, why we talkin' practice? Yeah, yeah, yeah Pull up score when I want to Best thing next to Heaven They be tryna count me out though I'm just countin', countin' blessings A real woman 'bout her paper

¬ Good Life - Kehlani & G-Eazy

Raise up a cup up for all my day ones Two middle fingers for the haters Life's only getting greater Straight up from nothing we go Higher than the highest skyscraper No Little League, we major The proof is in the paper

¬ Sucker For Pain - Imagine Dragons, X Ambassadors, Lil Wayne, Logic, Wiz Kalifa, Ty Dolla $ign

I torture you Take my hand through the flames I torture you I'm a slave to your games I'm just a sucker for pain I wanna chain you up I wanna tie you down I'm just a sucker for pain

¬ Do Re Mi - blackbear

If I could go back to the day we met I probably would just stay in bed You run your mouth all over town And this one goes out to the sound Of breaking glass on my Range Rover

¬ Zipper - Jason Derulo

I'ma mark my territory Shawty I'm an animal, slowly digging in to you Spread you like a bad story Turn you to a criminal, let me see you cock it back

¬ Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding

Fading in, fading out On the edge of paradise Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've gotta find Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire Yeah, I'll let you set the pace 'Cause I'm not thinking straight My head spinning around, I can't see clear no more What are you waiting for?

¬ Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding

Wanna hear your beating heart tonight Before the bleeding sun comes alive I want to make the best of what is left hold tight And hear my beating heart one last time.

¬ Pillowtalk - Zayn

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure Nobody but you, 'body but me 'Body but us, bodies together I love to hold you close, tonight and always I love to wake up next to you

¬ Dusk Til' Dawn - Zayn ft Sia

'Cause I wanna touch you, baby And I wanna feel you, too I wanna see the sunrise and your sins Just me and you Light it up, on the run Let's make love, tonight Make it up, fall in love, try

¬ I Don't Wanna Live Forever - Zayn ft Taylor Swift

Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'd call It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all

Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day Give me something, oh, but you say nothing What is happening to me?

¬ Wrong - MAX Ft Lil Uzi Vert

Wanted to take her back to my place Driving 90, let the cops chase Making that "Damn it feels so good" face Cause she don't wanna wait, no, wait 'til we get home

¬ Youngblood - 5SOS

Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name Takes one to know one, yeah You beat me at my own damn game

¬ Champions - Fall Out Boy ft RM

Have you ever felt how hard it is to be an anybody To be living, to be breathing, not choosing a dead body Remember, the man told me that this life is a party Yeah, all the glory's so short you should put away the garbages Normal ain't normal, ordinary is a luxury

¬ Crossfire - Stephen

He'd trade his guns for love But he's caught in the crossfire And he keeps wakin' up But it's not to the sound of birds The tyranny, the violent streets Deprived of all that we're blessed with And we can't get enough, no

¬ Revolution - Diplo

Can you see it? The worst is over The monsters in my head are scared of love Fallen people listen up! It's never too late to change our luck

¬ Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

White shirt now red, my bloody nose Sleeping, you're on your tippy toes Creeping around like no one knows Think you're so criminal Bruises, on both my knees for you Don't say thank you or please I do what I want when I'm wanting to My soul? So cynical

¬ Bad Moon Rising- Mourning Ritual ft Peter Dreimanis

I see a bad moon rising. I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightning. I see bad times today.

Don't go around tonight, Well, it's bound to take your life, There's a bad moon on the rise.

¬ Give It To Me- Agust D

(Same Lyrics, just in Hangul and in English)

아직은 성공의 비법은 몰라도 망하는 비법 잘 알 것 같어 딱 너처럼 놀고 나불대는 게 비법 죽어도 그렇겐 안 살 것 같어

I'm still not sure about the secret to success But I think I know the secret to failure The secret is to play the fool just like you And keep blabbing your mouth But I wouldn't live like that even if I had to die

¬ Jopping - SuperM

You think ya big boi, throwing three stacks I'mma a show you how to ball, you a mismatch Opinionated but I'm always spitting straight facts Throwback, I might throw this on an 8 track Believe me, I'm sight to see Exciting go and drop the beat We get it jopping the party, it don't stop The festival is now starting

¬  Tove Lo - Vibes

Skin to skin Seepin' in Flickering, our eyes go wide You giving me studded sight Painting stars In our hearts Yeah, you know I'm down for you I want you to lick my wounds

¬ Bad Things- Machine Gun Kelly ft Camila Cabello

Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like Don't think that I can explain it What can I say, it's complicated Don't matter what you say Don't matter what you do I only wanna do bad things to you So good, that you can't explain it What can I say, it's complicated

¬ Home - Machine Gun Kelly ft Bebe Rexha ft X Ambassadors

I been through so much pain And it's hard to maintain, any smile on my face 'Cause there's madness on my brain So I gotta make it back, but my home ain't on the map Gotta follow what I'm feeling to discover where it's at I need the (memory) In case this fate is forever, just to be sure these last days are better And if I have any (enemies) To give me the strength to look the devil in the face and make it home safe

¬ Way Down We Go (Stripped) - Kaleo

They will run you down, down 'til the dark Yes and they will run you down, down 'til you fall And they will run you down, down 'til you go Yeah, so you can't crawl no more

¬ 7 Rings - Ariana Grande

Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage? Rather be tied up with calls and not strings Write my own checks like I write what I sing

¬ Don't Call Me Angel - Ariana Grande,  Miley Cyrus & Lana Del Ray

See you here with somebody Dude sizin' up my body Don't you know that I bite when the sun set, yeah? So don't you track 'em around me Might work on them, but not me Don't you know that I bite when the sun set?

¬ Into You - Ariana Grande

I'm so into you, I can barely breathe And all I wanna do is to fall in deep But close ain't close enough 'til we cross the line So name a game to play, and I'll roll the dice, hey

¬ Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande

Somethin' 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout you Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

¬ Seven Nation Army ( Glitch Mob Remix)

I'm gonna fight 'em all A seven nation army couldn't hold me back They're gonna rip it off Taking their time right behind my back

¬  Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez

No one never listens, this wallpaper glistens Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchenPlaces, places, get in your places Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces Everyone thinks that we're perfect Please don't let them look through the curtains

¬ Carousel - Melanie Martinez

Round and round like a horse on a carousel, we go, Will I catch up to love? I could never tell, I know, Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I, Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel

[artlessictoan]

If you still take requests, I would like to request yodochou

and it’s only fitting to end on my most beloved rarepair ofall! sorry it took me a few days to get to this, but it’s cute and fun and i kinda wanna turn it into a full fic now.. so hopefully it’s worth the wait!

(requests now closed)

—

Music thudded through the walls, thick and heavy and dark –just how she liked it – she could practically hear the jittering screech of athousand plastic cases shuddering against metal shelves. Normally, she would’vetaken this opportunity to rock out, headbanging until she felt dizzy andscreaming along with the lyrics at the top of her voice… unfortunately, shestill had a job to do; there wasn’t enough space in here anyways.

She settled for nodding along and tapping her foot, singingunder her breath as she focused on organising some new stock instead.

“Oh! Yeah we’re gettin’ wise and you push much further we’regonna fucking rise, tear down your constitution ‘cause we’re done withsubjugation, better count your days ‘cause they… ‘re…. huh?” Trailing offawkwardly when the music came to an abrupt halt, she glanced around until shefound the source.

Sarada was glaring darkly behind her glasses, hand still onthe sound system’s power button. “Fucking hell Yodo, would it kill you to turnit down?”

Rolling her eyes, she went back to sticking CDs intoalphabetical order, shouting over her shoulder, “What? No one’s here, I’mdrawing customers in.”

“By deafening them the second they enter the door?”

She puffed her cheeks up, putting away the last album beforejogging over and jumping onto the counter, glancing down at her co-worker. “Anyoneput off by loud music isn’t a truemetalhead, we don’t need people like that shopping here.”

Dark eyes narrowed at her, before she scoffed, “Tell that tothe ledgers.”

“Well you got any better ideas?” she asked, picking at thechipping paint on her nails, idly wondering what colour she should go for next– midnight black, jet black, or maybe void black?

“Actually yes-” aheavy thump jolted the table top beneath her, as Sarada dropped a thick pile ofpaper down, “-here, go stand outside and pass these out, do try not to look so sour, we want peopleto actually come to this thing.”

Frowning, she peeled away the top flyer and examined it; apparentlythe store was hosting a gig featuring local metal bands so small-time even Yodohad never heard of them – and she liked to keep her ear to the ground when itcame to music. “Since when were we doing this? And what the fuck’s with thesebands, Six Paths of Pain? Bloody Mist? BubblegumBang?”

“Since last month, I told you about it when I got the ideaand you said, and I quote, ‘sure whatever,’ maybe if you’d actually paidattention and helped out we might’ve landed some-”

“Ok, ok, fine,” she said, leaping to the floor and grabbingthe stack of paper, “but we’re playing too, right? Gotta get some talent up there, actually it’sprobably best it’s a bunch of nobodies playing, wouldn’t wanna embarrass anactually good band by upstaging them so bad.”

Sarada snorted, flashing that nasty grin of hers. “Obviously.We’re gonna wreck ‘em all!”

Cackling and slapping her hand against her friend’s outstretchedone, Yodo trudged out onto the street, her smile instantly dropped into a glarethe second the bright sun hit her eyes though.

This part of town wasn’t particularly busy, never had been,which meant that she didn’t actually have many people to grumpily pass flyersto, but that was kind of the problem; it was hard enough for a specialist musicstore to get off the ground in the first place, let alone one in such a quietarea, especially when…

Fuck, there shewas.

Yodo and Sarada’s little start-up wasn’t the only music shopon the street, just three shops down there was another one, one with a muchbroader and more mainstream stock than their rock, punk and metal, which ofcourse made them way more popular with customers and a thorn in Yodo and Sarada’scollective sides.

And it was run by the most beautiful woman she’d ever laideyes on, who was right now standing on the street, cheerfully calling out to passers-byand waving bright flyers in their faces until they relented and accepted one.

She was looking gorgeous, as usual, long, copper hairflowing free over her shoulders, beautiful curves concealed by baggy dungarees,though tantalising glimpses of the tight crop-top she wore underneath weredefinitely making her mouth a little dry and, worst of all, her full lips –painted that deep plum colour that she loved – were wrapped around a goddamned lollipop, each subtle shift and fleetingglimpse of tongue successfully driving Yodo further and further into madness.

Her arch rival, in both business and music taste, and shewas completely smitten.

If Sarada didn’t have a banshee’s screech loud enough tomake her shudder just thinking about it, she would have immediately marchedback inside to hide under the counter until she’d regained control of herheartbeat, however, since she did, Yodo decided to just walk behind the helpfulblock of greenery in the middle of the footpath and hope for the best.

Apparently her mood was still showing on her face though, judgingby the way that people flinched and rather pointedly started jogging in the otherdirection the second she so much as glanced their way.

Why did Sarada think it was a god idea to send her out to promote their shop anyway?

After another minute of failing to even draw someone closeenough to throw a slip of paper at them, she gave up with a groan and sat downon the short brick wall, leaning back into a thick bush, ignoring the twigsstabbing at the back of her head.

Maybe she’d be better off just taping the flyers to lamppostsinstead, or just calling up her friends – though Sarada had probably alreadydone that, they ran in the same circles after all – hell, maybe if she justchucked a load out of a high window people might get curious and pick some up,actually, that wasn’t a bad idea, surely it couldn’t be that illegal, besides her dad could always-

“Hey girl, I thought I saw you just now!”

Blinking rapidly, mind still half focused on advertisements,Yodo turned to glare at whoever had disrupted her thought process.

The speed at which blood rushed to her cheeks probably brokethe sound barrier.

“You stuck with flyer duty too?” the beautiful woman asked,flopping down next to her. “Super sucks, doesn’t it?” Her eyes – amber, theyjust had to be contacts, surely –were sparkling in the midday sun and she had a huge smile aimed right at her.

“Uh-huh…”

If she was bothered by the utter lack of response, she didn’tshow it. “Not as if people actually look at shit some stranger throws at themon the street, might as well just stand out here with a megaphone, it’d atleast be cheaper.”

“Mmm…”

“So, what’s happening at your place anyways?” she asked, questionnot even fully out her mouth before she leaned across Yodo to snatch a handful ofpapers.

Slightly panicking, Yodo stumbled for some words that wouldmake the gig seem less lame than it looked. “Oh, uh, just a gig to… promotelocal rock bands, an’ stuff… y’know, helping small groups get out there a lil, nothingbig.”

The woman was clearly trying to stifle a laugh as she readthrough some of the band names. “BubblegumBang? That’s a joke, right?”

“I fuckin’ wish,” she groaned, “never even heard of ‘embefore I saw the flyers today.”

Her laughter was warm and husky and sounded like moltencaramel; Yodo couldn’t help shuddering slightly. “Well, this Jinchuriki Stompgroup sounds pretty cool at least.”

Great, as if her cheeks couldn’t get any redder. “Actually…that’s my band.”

Steadfastly refusing to look her companion in the eyes, Yodoglowered at the man walking by in his sharp, neat suit instead – his purposefulsteps faltered for a moment, before he scurried off down the road, head downand walk uneven – idly picking at her nail polish again and just waiting forthe inevitable snickering to start.

“No fucking way-” here it comes, “-that’s so cool! What sortof music do you play? What do you play, no, wait lemme guess, bass? Ooh, do yousing too? I bet you’ve got a gorgeous voice.”

Unable to get a word in edgeways, Yodo just nodded along,admiring the way her lipstick shimmered and wondering if the taste of whateverflavoured lollipop she’d been sucking earlier was imprinted on them – was it raspberry?Yodo dearly hoped it was.

“Well,” the woman finally took a breath as she handed backthe flyers she’d stolen, though not before keeping one back for herself and carefullyfolding it to fit in her pocket. When she stood up to leave, she gave Yodo awink and a smile, calling a cheerful, “Guess I know what I’m doing Fridaynight!” over her shoulder as she walked away, disappearing in a flash of copperand gold.

When Sarada finally came out to find her co-worker, brightblue paper was strewn across half the street and Yodo had long since lost touchwith the world around her.

—