#a few minor triggers from the story appear in here but nothig very heavy

[dinosaursmate]

A little drabble I’ve been meaning to write ever since the moment I finished Lightning Strikes Twice <3

Some uncomfortable themes, check fic tags / 1100 words, Louis/Ethan

“I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Louis stilled, mid-brush of his teeth. “Oh?”

“Well, you’re my husband, and I thought I should support your interests, even if I don’t share them.” Ethan grinned as Louis stared at him, uncomprehending. “I got us two tickets for the Harry Styles concert next week.”

Louis tried his very best to keep his face as neutral as possible. He looked at Ethan in the mirror. He was watching Louis closely, waiting for a reaction. No matter what reaction Louis gave, it would be fake and forced.

“Wow,” Louis said, nodding and smiling. “Thank you, my love.”

“My mum has agreed to look after Emily.” Ethan sighed happily. To Louis’ relief, he seemed pleased with the reaction he got. “We’re gonna have a great time!”

-

Louis was unbelievably nervous. It was stupid, really. He didn’t know what the niggle of anxiety in his gut was in aid of, what he was expecting to happen. They were in tiered seating in a huge arena, so it wasn’t as if there was any risk of Harry spotting him. To make it worse, as soon as they found their seats, Ethan disappeared with almost no explanation, saying something about the bathroom. Louis sat there, surrounded by Harry Styles fans, feeling more uncomfortable than he had in years. They had missed the support act, and so the big arena screens were now showing a photo of Harry, an image from his new album promo campaign which Louis had done very well to avoid around town, thank you very much.

He rarely thought about Harry. Well, Harry was a megastar, so Louis was sometimes forced to confront his suppressed demons. Harry hit the headlines on a weekly basis for his behaviour, falling out of a club completely inebriated by alcohol, or worse. If he was seen even in the same vicinity of a woman, the media reported he was sleeping with her, which always made Louis roll his eyes. At least, when they did that with men, it could have been true.

Even that thought gave Louis an uncomfortable feeling, and that was precisely why he always avoided anything Harry Styles.

“I bought you a t-shirt!” Ethan gushed as he returned to Louis’ side.

“Oh…” Louis sighed inwardly. “Ethan, you are so sweet. Do you know that?”

“Oh, I know. I’m a doll.” Ethan sat down in his plastic flip chair and looked around. “I’m not sure what kind of audience I was expecting. I guess you’ve been to one of his concerts before?”

“Yeah.” Louis cleared his throat. “Not since I was quite young, though.”

“I think I was expecting more women.”

Louis looked around. There were a lot of women there, but they by no means made up the majority.

“Well, he’s gay, so he’s an icon for a lot of the community.”

“I thought he was bi?”

“Oh…” Louis cleared his throat again. “Sorry, I meant gay as an umbrella term.”

“Yeah. Seems to be quite a few straight guys here, too.”

“He’s earned the credibility, I guess.”

Ethan hummed, turning his attention to a text message he received. Louis’ ears picked up on a conversation happening in the row behind them.

“A few years ago, a friend of mine met Harry in a club,” a woman said. “She said they spent all weekend together.”

Another woman gasped. “No! You mean…”

“Two days,” the first woman said. “And she said they got into double figures.”

Louis rolled his eyes, taking deep breaths to try and steady himself as his heart had started to pound. He had caught a number of stories in the press from women claiming to have slept with Harry over the years. He was pretty confident that not a single one of them were true. In fact, they infuriated him.

“I’ve heard he’s got a massive-”

“What time do you think he’ll be on?” Ethan said, jerking Louis out of his eavesdropping. “Just need to ring work for a sec.”

“Probably ten minutes or so?”

“Won’t be long.” Ethan kissed him on the cheek and disappeared again, leaving Louis alone with his thoughts.

Harry had been to Australia two or three times since Louis had lived here. The first time, Louis hadn’t long met Ethan. Ethan was still married to Emily’s mum, and Louis was so far gone for him that the pain was almost unbearable. He couldn’t deny that the temptation to find a way to see Harry wasn’t there. The old saying that the only way to get over somebody is to get under someone else almost compelled him to use Harry as a distraction from Ethan, but he managed to quash that awful, awful idea. Harry was a complete and utter mess. There was no way it was a better option.

It worked out for the best. Ethan divorced Emily’s mum, Louis married him, and they were raising a wonderful daughter. As for Harry? He was still a trainwreck.

“You know what?” Ethan said as he returned to his seat. “I’m pretty excited for this. I love it when we share our interests with each other.”

Louis smiled weakly. “Yeah. I thought you didn’t like him, though?”

“I mean, he’s okay. As a person I think he’s an idiot, and to be honest I’m surprised he’s still alive.”

Louis looked at the floor. That hit a bit of a nerve.

“Well…” Louis chewed his bottom lip. “Despite his problems, he’s a nice guy. Um, you know. He seems like one, anyway.”

Ethan looked at him with scepticism, but the lights went out and the arena erupted in screams. Louis felt like he was going to throw up.

-

On the drive home, Ethan kept glancing sideways at Louis. It was driving him mad. He just didn’t really feel like talking. His uneasy feeling was seeping away the further they got from the arena, the further they got from Harry, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

What would Harry have thought if he knew Louis was in the crowd? There were a couple of times when Harry looked in their direction and Louis panicked, before reminding himself Harry couldn’t see them. Louis’ was one face in a sea of faces. There was even the chance that Harry wouldn’t have remembered him even if they did come face to face.

Maybe he should just tell Ethan. Maybe he should have told Ethan a long time ago.

“Are you alright?” Ethan finally said.

“Hm?” Louis smiled reassuringly. “Yeah. Just tired. Thanks for tonight.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad we did this.” Ethan glanced sideways and grinned. “Even if I do get jealous about you fancying him.”

Louis opened his mouth to protest, but just shut it again. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to tell Ethan about his history with Harry, after all.

Besides, Louis had to keep one or two of his secrets all for himself.