#abuse) by people who later denied my abuse at the hand of their bestie

[fxggotclown]

i could maybe try evangelion again to see if i like it now but i think id have to read it bc it made me hate the sound of cicadas - an insect we dont even have here.

[keeloves]

Top 10 Characters that deserved better.

10 Alexis Glenn from Famous in Love

Despite my problems with this character I wasn’t very pleased with her treatment on the show Famous in Love. Yes I know she was a snob and behaved like a jealous bitch but I felt she had some redeeming qualities about her. For one thing I would have her accept the fact she was bisexual and not have those run of the mill lame excuses as in “I don’t like labels” bisexual isn’t a bad word. I also would have her apologize to Paige for how she treated her and maybe they can get along but they don’t have to be besties. Another thing I didn’t like was her being used by Jake and then being dropped like a hat just because things didn’t work out in his favor. No one deserves that. I also felt she deserved better than to be used by Ida. I would love to give Lexi a redemption arc.

9. Milah from Once Upon a Time.

Even though I didn’t really care for Milah, I felt she deserved better than to be killed by Rumple twice. The first time having her heart ripped out and crushed literally and then being thrown into the lake of lost souls. I felt she had remorse for leaving Baelfire/Neal behind. I honestly felt she could have given Belle advice on how to leave Rumple and they could have become friends or something. Anyways she deserved to move on from the under world not be thrown in a lake of lost souls.

  8.Belle French Once Upon a Time

I am convinced that Adam and Eddie hated Belle. First off why did they keep her in a relationship with a man who lies to her, manipulates her and has told her multiple times he won’t change. Yet here she is going back to this man again and again. She kept going back to Rumple and even enabled him. She was once so scared of him that she felt that her child would be better off away from the father. Not only does she get lied to and manipulated she gets mind raped, raped if Belle and Rumple had sex in the fantasy world where Rumple was the Bright One. He even went so far as to stalk her and put a tracking bracelet on her to know where she was at all times. Belle always looked scared of Rumple and was always backing away from him. That relationship should have ended when Belle banned Rumple from Storybrooke. Nope she gets forced back in a toxic relationship and even Emilie De Raven said that she wouldn’t give Rumple as many chances. I know I have said this before but I am going to say it again. Belle should have been bisexual and go be happy with Ruby or OUAT should have introduced Prince Adam. Any one of those relationships would have been better than Rumbelle.

7 Logan Huntzberger

I thought Logan was one of the most well developed characters on Gilmore Girls as in the original series. When we first meet him he was promiscuous and slept around. However, he was fully willing to commit to Rory and become the boyfriend she needed and wanted. He was allowed to grow and develop. All was going great with his character until the revival. He and Rory are both cheating with each other on their significant others and Amy seem to make Logan resort to his fuck boy ways. I am sorry to Matt Czuchry who had to play a digressed character and props to you for making Logan likable despite the way he was written.

6. Angela Moore Boy/Girl Meets World (Using the Collage because I loved the Versatility Angela had on Boy Meets World I did not make this Collage BTW) 

I know I keep bringing her up but I can’t help it. I am so bitter that Girl Meets World committed defamation of a black female character. They bent and twisted the narrative to make Angela look like a villain and they also made her look like one more person that mindlessly abandon Shawn when that is not the case. She left to Europe with her father and she was going to come back and be with Shawn. Now in Girl Meets World she was just another person who abandon Shawn? No that is so disrespectful and this completely racist how she got treated. Also I don’t want anyone to come at me and tell me the treatment she got wasn’t racially related. Seriously look how  the other characters got treated as in the white characters got treated then look at how Michael Jacobs treated his only black female character from Boy Meets World. She was the only main black character period and all she got was paid dust. So yeah her treatment whether or not it was unintended was absolutely racist.

5. Hazel Alden Degrassi

Degrassi literally had no idea what to do with this character. She was on the show for six seasons and only got one single story line about her Muslim back ground and we didn’t get that story line until season 2. She was there as a “main character” so Degrassi could pat themselves on the back for diversity brownie points. Andrea Lewis (Actress for Hazel) did the best with what she had tow work with but it wasn’t much. She was there to be Paige’s side kick and to help aid white character’s story lines. She honestly felt like the Christie to Paige’s Barbie. In fact here is a a link to an article on what Andrea had to say about her time on Degrassi read and enjoy. https://missandrealewis.com/2013/03/28/new-post-a-real-conversation-about-degrassi-tbt/

4. Audery from Descendants

  I know she is a classist snob and I know she wasn’t the nicest but she didn’t deserve to have her boyfriend stolen from her be dumped in front of the entire school. She deserved to be a more fleshed out character. I mean I wouldn’t really like someone who put a love drug on my boyfriend stole him from me and then he broke up with me in front of the entire school. Anyways Audery deserved better and didn’t deserve to be humiliated.

3. Graham from Once Upon a Time

I am so bitter how Once Upon a Time treated him. He was used abused and then killed off. Adam and Eddie still this day deny that he was raped by Regina.He had his heart ripped out literally as punishment for not killing Snow White. Regina’s ultimatum was basically “Do what I say or you die” and he literally has no choice because his heart in is Regina’s possession and now he is under a curse without his heart so he really has to do what Regina says without even being aware of the “Why” of the situation. This all changes when Emma comes to town and when he kisses Emma he starts to remember he is actually the Huntsmen. The moment he starts to take back control from Regina she kills him by crushing his heart. To me that is not even the worst thing about this situation its the fact that this issue is never addressed and Regina is never called out for raping Graham.

2 Mulan From Once Upon a Time

I used this picture because my heart breaks for this gorgeous character. Mulan a bisexual Asian woman is paid dust and yes it is confirmed she is bisexual by the writers and it honestly feels like Adam and Eddie want to pat themselves on the back for the so called “representation.” Mulan arguably the biggest bad ass of the Disney Princesses was reduced to being an aid for white character story lines. She wasn’t allowed to have a love interest despite everyone around her got to have a love interest and she just kept getting screwed over. I am forever bitter about Sleeping Warrior. That ship had the best chemistry the best build up only for the writers to go the hetro normative route with Aurora. Then we had have been with Ruby and we could have gotten Mulan Rouge. That didn’t happen either. She deserved much better than to be a token character of color to only aid in white character story lines. The treatment of Mulan on Once Upon a Time and the treatment of Angela on Girl Meets World will forever leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

Finally Number 1 Dinah Laurel Lance’/ Black Canary/Black Siren

I am forever bitter on how Arrow treated their most iconic female super hero character. In the comics Dinah Lance was her own hero, was a member of the Justice League and she helped co-find her own hero team called Birds of Prey. She helped people like Sin Lance (Asian character later white washed by Arrow) Helped Roy Harper through his drug addiction and morally centered and is one of the best hand to hand combat fighters. She is up on Batman’s level of hand to hand fighting. However in Arrow she is treated like shit, had a boyfriend who serial cheated on her with her sister, and now he is a dad a child where the baby momma is another woman he cheated with while he was with Laurel. The show had people gas light her and when she finally exploded all of a sudden it was her fault because god forbid she responds like a normal human to being treated like shit for no reason. Sara never apologized to Laurel she just went back to fucking Oliver again despite the fact that is why the Lance family fell apart. Laurel was told she was never good enough to be the Black Canary despite she is the damn Black Canary in the comics. She has helped out Sara and Oliver multiple times despite the fact they are the reason she had to deal with her family falling a part. The people on the show continued to miss treat her. Not once did she get an apology by Oliver or Sara she had to call them out first. Then after the horrible treatment, the gas lighting and mental abuse they show runners decide to kill her off for Olicity. Her dying words are about how Olicity and propping up Oliver and his relationship with Felicity. First off “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU GUYS DO THAT TO LAUREL’ 2 You damn well know how Oliver treated Laurel so you have some damn nerve to do that! Then you have Black Siren get knocked out by Felicity despite the fact she could get up after getting hit by a car on the Flash. Then you weaken her Canary cry when on the Flash it took out a whole building but on Arrow it barely makes the room shake. Then on the Flash great hand to hand combat skills only for her to be easily taken down by team Arrow. The thing that makes me most angry and bitter about this is that I know Katie Cassidy Rodgers actually did her homework on the character she was playing, I know KCR worked out for this role and she was so excited to be in this role. She even had costume design ideas for her Black Canary Suit and you kill her character off for shock value and you wait two episodes before to tell her that Laurel will be the one in the grave. This absolutely disrespectful to the actress and this proves how lazy these writers are.

Anyways this was my rant on characters who deserved better. I would love to know your thoughts.

[datingadviceonreddit]

DEAR GOD GET READY FOR THIS LONG ASS SHIT STORM OF A STORY. TLDR. Does this go in r/Relationship? If you find yourself reading this, I am a girl who is in desperate need of help so I can fucking stop thinking about this crap and move on -_- Please give me your thoughts on the fucking situation that is driving me and my friends insane.DISCLAIMER: I curse a lot, and I am up to HERE raises hand up to neptune with the stress this shit has caused me. So disregard me as I release some pent up rage.OKAY. I believe both of us are in the same looks league so I won't even comment on that.Player 1: Guy, 29, caucasian, raised in southern GA. Let's call him Bill (no his name is not Bill). A musician. Omnivert, into videogames. Pisces. Bill has been single for 3 years and basically abstinent lol. NOT RELIGIOUS AT ALL. He has also been EVER SO SLOWLY healing and coming out of a depression of sorts. He also has minor anxiety issues. He has VERY high standards for almost everything, and loves 80's things.Player 2: Me, Girl, 24, caucasian hispanic, raised in Miami, FL. We'll call me Bitch becau- no... We'll call me Bear, because why the fuck not. A filmmaker/photographer. Omnivert, into videogames. Libra. I have always hung out with people older than me because I don't get along with the millenials my age -_- the're all focusing on partying while I'm trying to move forward with my career. Also I have been abused by several men (which scars to bear [get it]) so I'm very verbally forward with dudes about how I feel, but I also have mega anxiety for physical proximity.Setting: Atlanta, GAISSUE: Does my best friend like me? It's not issue if he does, BUT I just NEED to know. We have minor history and he has said no when I've asked but THE FUCKING WORLD tells me otherwise. Also, my gut tells me otherwise (sometimes), and I have no idea if I should be trying to get my flirt on or just leaving the poor kid alone because he hates me or something.Late 2015: We meet for a film project and I have this innate magnetic feeling towards him to be his friend. JUST FRIEND. Nothing more. We work on the film project and you know, it's cool. We good. We chill. Nothing interesting, nothing to see. Player 1: Single Player 2: Married in on/off state (private)Early 2016: We start hanging out WAY more. Like WAY more. And we become besties and work together on every project ever. Its' the best female/male bromance I ever did saw. Both gamers, both omniverts, both into adventures, both low self esteem, both idiots. IT'S WONDERFUL I TELL YOU. This time period bleeds into summer time too. Player 1: Single Player 2: My marriage finally collapses and we finally have the balls to separate publicly. Bill helps me a lot through this whole process.late Spring/Summer 2016: BEST. OF. FUCKING. FRIENDS. We hang out all the time and at this point everyone asks us if we're together. We get told what a cute couple we are (we deny all claims though). He calls me after work everyday and we sometimes fall asleep talking to each other. Equal conversation. His family tells me that "he's the happiest I've seen him in a long time". His sister calls me his "girlfriend not girlfriend". And I am totally okay with that because... I'm starting to like the guy. And I have slept in this dudes bed like 3-5 times at this point and we have not cuddles once. I have major anxiety for sleeping his bed because I have no idea what I'm supposed to do if he wants me to make any moves. Also, we promise each other to be honesty buddies for life. Also also, He goes to daytona for a weekend and then says he has no one to hang out with so... I got flight benefits, you want me to come? "Sure, why not". SO I fly there and we have a blasty blast. There's also this moment that we're out drinking and we go for a walk and this homeless guy approaches him for money, Bill tells him nah, then the homeless guy starts walking towards me and Bill steps inbetween me and the homeless guy (who is not even close) and he says "No, you don't need to talk to her, you talk to me" (fucking fell so hard deeper than I already was, right then and there) Player 1: Single Player 2: SingleDRAGON CON 2016: He goes out of his way to go buy my eyelash glue, literally OUT OF HIS WAY. Then at the con he eats a tootsie roll drug thing (I am a newb when it comes to that shit) and he's tripping. We hold hands the entire time (relationship hold, not "let's cross the street" hold). At one point he jumps in bed and opens his arms out to me to invite me to cuddle, and god damnit I fucking accept. So we cuddle in front of the majority of his friends. We take an uber to a far away restaurant and just lay on each other the whole time. Then we go to my place and go to bed and don't cuddle sadness. That was saturday night into sunday morning.SEPTEMBER 2016: The week after Dragon Con we barely talked. Then I fly somewhere for something and when I'm flying back he texts me that he doesn't want to ruin our friendship because of his feelings of loneliness. And I'm like WOAH BRO, YOU WON'T RUIN ANYTHING. WANNA TALK IN PERSON? NEED HUGS? And he's like Come over and jump in bed, lets cuddle (or w.e. the fuck he said, the jump into bed part is accurate though). SO. My plane lands and I fucking take a FORTY FUCKING FUCK FACE DOLLAR uber to his house. I go to his room and jump in bed and we had the most AWKWARD cuddle in the fucking world. Why? Because part of me did not want to cuddle him because I was so fucking confused. And then because he was no longer drunk -_- (fuck you Bill... fuck. you.) Later that day he is very angry. And I mean, VERY. ANGRY. We got out and eat food, his friend ends up being our waiter and asks if I'm his girlfriend and he very aggressively says "no". And then after that day he stopped talking to me. HE JUST STOPS. Motherfucking Bill does not talk to me at all. I then get him to respond to me and he says he doesn't want to be friends anymore and he needs a break from "all this" (WHAT THE FUCKFACE IS "ALL THIS?!?!"). So I try to give him space but HOLY SHIT WE WERE JUST BEST FRIENDS AND NOW I AM SO FUCK NUGGET CONFUSED WHAT THE BITCH MADE FUCK?????? So I ask for a solid reason as to why it's happening and I could not get a solid answer. At all. To this day, I'm still not sure what the fuck that was. But anywho, he says he doesn't know if he'll ever want to be my friend BUT if there's an emergency and I ever need him, that he'd be there for me.FAST THE FUCK FORWARD to the week before my Birthday party (oct 1). It's friday, it's late, like 11pm late. I go outside for a phonecall and my phone starts dying. I walk back to my apartment door and it's locked. I call my roommates, no answer. (I later find out that my roommates had left and locked me out). So I have no keys, no wallet, a dying phone, and it's late on a friday night. WHADOIDO?!?! I start calling people to see if they can pick me up so I can crash with them. LITERALLY NO ONE CAN. I get to the point of using tinder and asking my ex. But before I go that route I'm like... you know what, Bill said he would be there for me if I really needed, I'm calling him (i knew he would not want me to have resorted to my ex so I thought this was logical). I call his beautiful ass up (and I mean beautiful) and his friend answers (oh so it IS just me that you needed a break from you dick twat). I explain the situation to his friend (lets call him Matt). Matt: "Oh yeah, we'll come get you!" "Check with Bill first, I don't think he'll be cool with it" Matt: "What? Ofcourse he'll be cool with it" "Wanna bet?" Matt: "Two dollars says he says yes" "Done. Now ask him" Matt asks Bill Bill: "Yeah, no. Not in the mood" (or w.e. his bitch ass said) Matt: "Bear, I am so sorry. I'm surprised. Good luck with your situation" "Yeah... thanks" And so I resort to tinder and ex -_- then end up sleeping at my community pool until the next day when my roommates get back. NEXT WEEK: I tell this mother fucker Bill that we need to talk. He calls me and says he doesn't want to talk to me and hes angry about it. And I tell him in the nicest way possible "fuck you". And I explain to him what an asshat he is and that I didn't do anything to deserve this treatment from him and that HOW DARE he tell me he'd be there for me and then he's just not. Fuck. You. Bill. And he fuckign apologized 0_0 and said I'm right. And then I told him he could come to my birthday party if he wanted to, and that I would like him to and he said that he didn't know but he'd try. BIRTHDAY PARTY: He showed up with his brother and sister and friends. All in one car. It was so nice seeing him again and knowing we were okay. God. what a fucking relief he was done being a dumb ass.Have you made it this far? Take a break, pat yourself on the back, go grab some hydration. Thank you and I fucking love you you stranger. Player 1: Single Player 2: SingleLATE 2016: We start hanging out slowly, I take piano lessons with him because I want to and because it's a good way to reintroduce hanging out. I then meet someone that I actually have an interest for. Cool regular dude but the fact that I kinda like this guy is like "oh, I might pursue this". SO before making any moves, I ask Bill: Bear: "Hey, do you like me?" Bill: "What! Like romantically?" Bear: Yeah Bill: laughs uh NO. Bear: Yeah I was just checking, because, people have told me you do. Bill: Yeah no. Who? ----- I felt so fucking humiliated because of how he handled saying no. It was like he thought it was embarrassing to even think that he could like someone like me :( SO lower self esteem and now a fucking challenge to get over my feelings for Bill, I get into a relationship with random guy who we'll call... Homer. Homer and I end up dating for a while, Bill is ALL FOR IT. Says I need someone Homer him right now. So i fucking go for it dude. Like, full commitment dawg. I'm talking real intimate planning homie. And BOY DID THAT BACKFIRE. Player 1: Single Player 2: Single -> begins datingEARLY 2017: I eat furbies. Just kidding, making sure that you're still awake :D So me and Homer are living together per his request (SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT). And I cannot be myself around him because I'm high energy and he's like "you're too much" (fuck your dick ass face you bitch haired mother fucker). So I go crying to Bill who is now my freindtherapist and tell him that I cannot be myself with Homer and it's fucking killing me. Now Bill is like, oh nah, that dude right here brah? He's garbage brah. Get rid of him brah. You can't be with dat brah. (more or less) But I can't break up with Homer because if I do then I have to face my feelings of wanting to be with Bill and that is just WAY TOO MUCH FOR ME TO DEAL WITH AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relationshipSUMMER 2017: Homer and I are not doing too hot, at all. It's become apparent to many folks. But anywho. SO there's this event yeah. Where I'm presenting an award yeah. And I put on an amazingly sexy gorgeous dress yeah. And I invite Bill and my newest friend Keaton to attend the event with me since Homer will be out of town. Keaton is Homer's bestest friend (key info for the test at the end guys)(...just kidding)(this wont be on the test)(...just kidding, there is no test). So I look fucking fabulous. I mean... fucking. fabulous. Like, even my low self esteem was like DAY-UM BITCH. I asked Bill and Keaton if I looked good and Keaton responds with "Yeah you look great" and Bill just nods and he's like "yeah" (YOU SON OF A BITCH). So we go on our way to the event. At the event I get Kanye'd because why not hire a drunk host :D so I'm ultra bummed out and the 3 of us go downstairs to drank my sorrows away. Then I find out that the film I produced one an award and I wasn't there. FUCK.MY.LIFE. so then i'm like LETS GO TO THE BAR BOYS. But before that I have a "cry on shoulder moment" with Bill. SO, we call uber to go to bars and WELL YOU SEE... I WAS WEARING A BEAUTIFUL WHITE DRESS... SO... THE UBER DRIVER THOUGHT I HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED. To who? To Bill -_- (FFUUUUUUHHHH) And what does Keaton do when the driver starts asking questions? Driver: Woah, did ya'll just get married? Keaton: YES! MY TWO BEST BUDS, BILL AND BEAR, MADE THE LEAP! At this point, Bill and I look at each other and are like N-NNO-N-N-NO-NO-NO-NO, but Keaton is SO FUCKING LOUD, he overpowers us and eventually we just go with it. SO we start giving made up details and calling each other "babe" and "sweetie" and gay ass shit like that. We get to the bars and low and behold, we find out you can drink free by having just been married... so naturally WE MILK THIS SHIT OUT OF IT. We move our rings to the married side and he has his hand on my waist, holds my hand at one point. Gives me a back massage. My god, it's fucking great. And eventually we go home. Keaton loses his phone in the uber home and so when Bill and I go back to my place, we're trying to get n contact with the uber driver. So we're just chatting and Bill is about to leave so we hug good bye. As we hug... I have no idea why... but... I grow the biggest pair of balls... and say... Bear: Want to know something weird? Bill: Suuuure Bear: I have feelings for you Bill: silent I pull away from hug Bear: But you probably already knew that Bill smiles and he nods and he's like "yeah" and so we talk about it all. And here are the key take aways from everything he said: "I'm not going to lie, I've wanted to make out with you several times" "Tonight felt... natural. It was just so easy for us to be that way. It was comfortable" "Well you have a boyfriend so...." And eventually he goes home and we decide to talk about it sober.SOBER TALK #1 He tells me he has no feelings for me, that he cares about me as a friend and nothing more. He also tells me that everytime he was interested in me is because he was lonely. (oh Bill... YOU SACK OF SHEEP SHIT) And so I take all that in and let it process over the weekend. I then write him an email. Yes. A fucking email. Because I suck at communicating on the spot. And in this email I tell him MANY THINGS, one being "fuck you for using me" and the other being "I don't believe that you don't have any ounce of feelings for me, because you could have picked any girl but you chose me. (SIDENOTE, BILL IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND CONSTANTLY HAS GIRLS WANTING HIM). So I email his ass and he reads it and we decide to have a second talk.SOBER TALK #2 He apologizes for using me and having led me on and that he'll be more careful with our friendship. And we completely skipped over the topic of him having any slight possible feelings for me or if he might ever. What evs. I'm so done with it all at that point (or was I?) Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relationshipDRAGON CON 2017: SO Homer gets obliteratingly drunk and violently pushes me (not the first time he got aggressive). But check this out. He pushed me, in front of the crew, including Bill. According to witnesses, both my feet went in the air. There was like a 3 second pause of silence and Bill fucking pushes Homer's ass out the hotel room and slams the door in his face. He then asks me if I'm okay and he is fucking LIVID BRO. I have never seen him in such a rage before O_O Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relatonshipFALL 2017: So dragon con drama dies down and I can no longer talk to Bill about my issues with Homer (yes I stayed with him) because Bill is fucking annoyed at me for staying with him. He thinks I'm dumb for staying (he's not wrong). So I find a new friendtherapist. Anywho, we continue our vague friendship where I feel like I have to hold back because what if I flirt with him, it'll make him uncomfortable and I don't want that. So now I feel like I can't be my full self around Billy Boy. Eventually I have my business trip to California with Homer BUT I break up with him the week before -_- so I'm not stuck on a trip with my ex. WONDERFUL. But when I told Bill, he was very happy for me and was proud I hadn't done anything stupid. Eventually Homer invites me to go to a Legend of Zelda Symphony of the Goddesses tour and I'm like FUCK.YES.DAWG. and he has two extra tickets so I invite Bill and his brother. When stranger Things 2 came out, we binge watched it friday night and saturday night. And that weekend was just so great. We just netflix and actually chilled And later when we talked about the weekend he told me "that is one of the nicest weekends I've had in a long time." CUZ WE'RE GOOD TOGETHER YOU TURD DICKZELDA SMYPHONY 2017: So Homer and I get there (I still live at his place with Keaton, I just sleep on the couch) and Bill is DRUNK. He invites me to his hair cut appointment the next day (we have the same hair dresser) and He starts talking to me about his weekend plans (which include a funeral and us watching Justice league together on Monday) and then how Monday me and him have our date. My face is like huwah? And he repeats it "yeah, we have our date!" buwuh? and I'm just like OO OH-KAY, YES. YES WE DO SIR. Concert starts, we watch the show, he keeps drinking. At this point I've never seen him this drunk before (it was quite amazing). After the show, I have to use the bathroom like the basic bitch I am. Bill says he's going to go look for his brother and homer who have disappeared. When I walk out I see him waiting for me in a corner and I'm like "what are you doing??" ANd he's like " I've been waiting for you this whole time. All these dudes were waiting for their girlfriends, one at a time they start leaving, and here I am waitng for you, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG" and all I did was laugh because he's fucking hilarious drunk. I end up going home with Bill and his bro because I don't want to sleep on the couch and now that I'm single, I can sleep in Bill's bed again. SO, we're in the car and here's the conversation. Bill: Wow, I'm surprised at how well that went. Homer was very pleasant towards me. Brother: Why wouldn't he be pleasant towards you? Bear: Well- Bill: Oh, he's jealous of me and hers relationship. Bear: O_O HOMER WAS NEVER AT ANY POINT JEALOUS OF ME AND BILL. In fact, Homer LOVED Bill and always wanted me to invite him to places and he wanted to hang out from him and learn music from him. So that was just a lie .. Anywho, we go home and I sleep in this dudes bed and LET ME TELL YOU THE ANXIETY WAS SO FUCKING REAL. He has NEVER slept that close to me EVER. I could feel his arm and knee on my shoulder and leg (no boners guys, sorry :/ ). And I had no idea if I should try cuddling him or not because what if he's just drunk and doesn't realize it OR he's sober and just DOES NOT want that weird comfortableness of cuddling someone you're not into. So I do nothing except stay awake in anxiety till he wakes up the next day. And the only thing he says about the night before is "Man, I felt like I could take over the world last night, like nothing was in my way" and that was that.Monday: He invites his brother -_-THANKSGIVING 2017 (one week later): So I'm kind of sort of co-hosting with him but not really but I promised him I'd help with cleaning up and I'd bring mega food. By this point, we have a trip to NY planned (Mid January) and paid for...for... THE FUCKING FINAL FANTASY DISTANT WORLDS SYMPHONY AT CARNEGIE HALL, OH MY FUCK. We're talking about our plans (he invited his friend [guy, we'll call him Ron] so it was no longer going to be a potentially romantic trip sadness) and Bill says "Hey, let me know if you two want to go matching!" Ron is like "uhhh... no" as any normal guy would respond to that weird ass request. And then I say "uhm... Yeah sure." BECAUSE WHY NOT BEAR! WHY THE FUCK NUGGETS NOT. Bill and I go to his room later to look at his suit and see what I'm working with. And he says "If you find something else then I can try to find a different color shirt or tie". So we're fucking matching dude. Also, he play flirted with me for the FIRST TIME ever. Like Keaton noticed it too. Bill looked me directly in the eye.And now I'm here, visiting family in Miami, writing this fucking post because I'm so gay for this dude it's stupid. And I have been dress shopping and sending him the options and he is still going with us matching. ANYWHO here's where you the reader comes in...Answer these questions please and thankses: 1) DO YOU THINK HE'S INTO ME? 2) Should I ask him if he wants to kiss... 30 seconds before new years eve? 3) Should I try anything in NY? 4) Should I shut the fuck up, calm down and just fucking stop? 5) Should I just give up in him and I? If so, HOOOOWWWW??I REALLY don't want to make him uncomfortable but damn I can't keep holding back with this mystery. It's horrible. But he also seems like he's making sure we're not alone at any point in time... which I have no idea how to interpret.KEY FACTS: - Yes I feel that he is into me, SOMETIMES. Not always. But I get that urgle gurgle feeling from him sometimes. - He still does cute things like buy me my favorite junk food at the gas station. - We have NEVER kissed - We get each other on some surreal ass level, it's weird. - Yes we are idiots - Yes this is a TLDRIf you actually read everything... YOU'RE AMAZING AND THANK YOU!! If you didn't... Then good for you for not wasting your time! via /r/dating_advice