#actually just thinking alot about thara and ulis | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sparrowposting · 6 months

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Got emotional about thara again this morning and it's not even 10am. Weepy but also maybe peaceful and things can be kind and good and gentle even as they are terrible and full of despair. Idk. Makes no sense, but it's true.

#actually just thinking alot about thara and ulis #and how ulis isnt reallt a god of mercy #but a god of silence and death #and how maybe that amounts to thr same thing. sometimes #maybe that emptiness is also fullness. maybe it's all peace #dont look at me im having thoughts again. about silence and terrible grace and unnamable unknowable peace #also i am thinking of iana. and his infectious joy. and of thara being kind to himself #and maybe he can be called to Ulis without killing himself. he can. be treated gently #and its not some undeserved kindness. it is not an affront to his calling or his god #he can value himself beyond his usefulness. be loved by iana. and still.#ugh. ugh. literally i cant stop thinking about thara. i cant stop.#my insides have been scooped out and put on display #the most terrible conflicts of my soul and my heart #it is not my favourite series wrt entertainment. but it is. the most important. the closest to some ineffable truth

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