#actually that's not exactly right I also successfully emailed someone at my uni and had a pre-screen a month before end of school year

[autogeneity]

accomplishment: emailed a place to ask about adhd assessment. only took me about 6 years. they should just give me the diagnosis for that alone imho

[yeonchi]

The absolute state of jobseeking in current year

Today, I take a big step in my transition into society as I begin my first (actual) job. It gives me no pleasure to say that this wasn’t an easy journey in the least because everyone else makes it look that way and therefore, I assumed that it was.

I never had a job (working fast food/retail/whatever) in high school, except for a week indexing documents, filing documents and assembling boxes at a bank for work experience, so imagine my shock when I go to a jobseeking site and everything I find requires at least a year of experience, even the jobs labelled as “entry level”.

During my uni years, I was on welfare benefits that required me to be 18-24 and studying full time. In the second semester of my third year of uni (2019), I decided to defer my last subject to the next year because there was something I wanted to take up that I couldn’t in that semester. Of course, this would mean that I would be studying part-time, so I was no longer eligible for that particular welfare benefit.

Since I thought that it was time for me to focus on looking for work, I signed up for that particular welfare benefit. One of the mutual obligations was that I had to send 20 job applications per month and record them on a web portal. I was also assigned an employment provider to attend appointments every couple of weeks to talk about my progress.

When I first met my provider, I was taken aback by what he said; I thought that sending 20 job applications was a cinch, but he told me that I had to focus on finding full-time work and that I could take up uni studies outside of work hours (my course didn’t count as an exception to their rules). This was quite a shock for me because this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. He also told me that I had to apply for any job I was suitable for and not just what I wanted; bit much to ask for me but ok.

So, for the next few months, I fulfilled their requirements to the best of my ability; I applied for jobs through a jobseeking site and attached a resume with either a short cover letter that I learnt how to write online or none at all if I wasn’t that bothered. My provider seemed like a nice guy, but as time went on, something about him didn’t sit right with me, like either him or the entire jobsearching thing was giving me bad vibes. Learning about the AUWU (Australian Unemployed Workers Union) and some of the things people wrote on their sites and pages didn’t help things either.

About a couple of months later, I didn’t feel like I was making any progress because despite all the job applications I sent, I never got any calls or emails back from them whatsoever (I did get a call for an interview once before I signed up for this welfare benefit, but I didn’t get the job in the end). It was then that I found out (through my university) that another employment provider had a program to help tertiary students living with disabilities find work. While I have been diagnosed with autism, I have never taken advantage of it to seek assistance (I did have teaching aides at primary and secondary school, but I was mostly capable of doing things otherwise so they mostly acted as assistants to the whole class instead of just me and the other kids with disabilities).

I signed up for this program and after going through a long progress of getting a medical certificate from my GP to verify my autism, going to the benefit office to get an assessment and informing my then-current provider of my intentions, I was successfully transferred to that program.

It was also around this time that the coronavirus pandemic happened and lockdowns resulted in me having to attend appointments over the phone or on Zoom, which I had no problem with. At the same time, I was also accepted for a work-from-home position with Lionbridge, which I only saw as a side gig. I did that job for a year before I quit - the lockdown and my various hobbies resulted in me only contributing two hours per week when Lionbridge recommended ten, though I did push myself to do ten hours during two particular weeks where they gave bonuses for those who achieved that goal. The gig was mostly checking Google search results to see if they fit with the user’s intent for the search - it was nice, but boring given that I get distracted while working on the computer at home and I had to record the times myself because their system didn’t do it for you. As a result of the lockdown, I just finished up the one subject I had left to finish my course and that was it. My welfare benefit also doubled because of the coronavirus supplement and I got to do some things I thought I would never be able to do because everyone was exempted from looking for work during that time. Even though I was caught up in some bad timing, I managed to find a big silver lining to it.

While I didn’t achieve much success with jobseeking during my time in the program, I did gain a lot more out of it than I probably would have did with my past provider. I did a short mentorship with someone from a big company who helped me to revamp my resume and cover letter. I applied for a few graduate programs and managed to progress to the assessment centre stage for one of them, but I didn’t get in in the end. I attended a three-week work experience assessment program with an agency dedicated to helping people with disabilities find work with big companies. I never told my career coach about my gig with Lionbridge because I signed up while I had correspondence with my first career coach and she quit a short while after - I don’t think she ever told him about it, so whatever I guess (also, as I said, it was only a side gig, so my goal was still to find full-time work).

On a side note, after a year with my previous provider, I would have had to undertake a “work for the dole” program, which is literally what it says on the tin. I don’t know what would have happened if it got to that stage because I managed to get out as quickly as I could and the lockdowns meant that changes had to be made as a result.

At the start of this year, I applied for what I thought was a part-time job at a single organisation, but was actually a casual contractor role. They accepted me and signed me onto their list and I never got a call or email from them again for like four months (with the exception of a newsletter lol). Remember this as it will be important for the next bit.

A few weeks ago, my coach informed me of a role being available at the very provider I was with. I thought I was very suitable for the job, so I asked him to pass on my resume to them. After a couple weeks of waiting, I was asked to come in for an interview on a Friday (I was only one of two applicants who signed up for that role, they never advertised it anywhere else). I went to the provider’s office and just as I was getting off the tram, I get a call from the contractor role advising me of a new job that was starting in a couple of weeks. I stalled them by asking them to email me the details before calling my coach to tell him about it; he advised me to focus on the job I came to interview for and I agreed since I knew it would be better for me and I had a stronger connection with them than with the contractor. So I ghosted the contractor, did the interview and went home that day with the expectation that I would get a reponse by the end of the day, but I didn’t since the interviewer was busy and I had to wait until the Monday.

I went away for a short trip that weekend and on the Monday, I get another call from the contractor asking me for my response. I stalled them again, telling them that I was out of town, then soon after, I get a call from my coach informing me that I got the job. I called the contractor again and told them to remove me from their list because I now had a full-time role. After a few calls that week, I agreed to start on the Monday after - which brings us up to today.

Personally, the wait was worth it, but the fact that it took four years for me to find a job (one-and-a-half since I signed up for that welfare benefit), most of the companies I applied for never got back to me and the entire thing with my first provider stressing me out just shows the absolute state of jobseeking in current year, particularly for a sheltered autistic like me who has had no experience in the workforce. I’m not advocating for “free money” because I’m evidently capable of working (and I’m also not an idiot), but I wish that companies and the government could give us a break now and then and save us the stress of worrying about whether we will actually get a job or whether we will be capable to feed our families with the amount of money we get and the conditions we have to abide by.

Society may be a fucking joke, but there are times where it comes through.

[thevtykatee]

Sunrise vol. 2

Let’s just admit that this post is soooo random. The total opposite of my previous one I wrote exactly a year ago. And the reason behind it? Easy. I re-read my previous post and it made me think. It made me think about how much has changed in a year. In a single year. It still surprises me that as we’re living our life we don’t even realize how things are changing, unless we take a moment and look back. Last year when I wrote that thanksgiving post I couldn’t even imagine all the things that have already happened to me during this year. I’ve started uni, but right before I’ve started it I freaked out of course, you know you gotta stay true to yourself even if it means getting an anxiety attack before everything that is new and scary hahaha. When I wrote that post last year only one thing was before my eyes: I’ve finished a huge chapter of my life successfully and I didn’t even know if I’m ready for the next one or not, but I didn’t even care. I was happy with how things were, I was happy I got stronger. I was just simply waiting for the newest chapter and back then I had no idea how many challenges I will need to face. And right now, I’m wondering that holy shit... I went through A LOT during this year. Since I’ve started Uni and moved to our capital city. Right now I’m just simply amazed about this whole year. You know why? Because life threw some of the hardest stuff at me, and I could kind of deal with all of that. Not in a perfect way, of course because I fucked many things up, let’s be honest, but what matters is that I could deal with them and I could make it through my first year of Uni. Seriosuly, woaah. The most “woah thing” for me is that, you know, I have an anxiety disorder and I thought that I’m gonna be struggling at uni to deal with the 90 minute classes, but say what? There was only one occasion when I had to leave from class. ONE. And this is what’s the most unbelievable thing for me. Like sinceriously (yeah, thanks Stephen Amell for creating this word), I thought that there are gonna be numerous times when I can’t control my anxiety and that I’m gonna be struggling so much. Okay, well, there were times when I was struggling and there were times when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, but somehow I could still go on, I kept moving every single time, no matter what. I’ve had issues with the major I chose for myself, I’ve had problems in the field of relationships (mainly talking about love here... and about a particular person) but despite all of this, despite all the failures, I made it through another year, and guess what? I have to say that it was one for the books. It was actually great, and I felt like I was actually living my life. And I AM actually living my life almost to the fullest. At least I guess, I’d love to believe that and I hope so haha. :D I’m not just getting through the days. I’m not just trying to get through the days. (Well okay, there are some days when I feel like I just have to get through them, but everyone has those days sometimes.) And this leads me back to my post I wrote last year. Because those people, who I have mentioned in that post, are still my favorite ones. It’s easy why. Because I can count on every one of them anytime.

I can count on Our Last Night, yes I can count on a band, all because they always make me happy, even if it only means listening to their songs. And they still remind me every time when I need it that I CAN make it to the sunrise. :) I can still count on Woody for writing his amazing blog posts, and for sending me those weekly emails every Friday, to make my weeks better. Sometimes he literally saves the week with those emails. And yeah, he better be prepared for getting a couple of hugs from me next time we meet, in October. <3 And speaking of them, there’s someone who came to my mind who I can also count on: Martin - for being such an amazing friend and helping me whenever I need his help. Even if I feel like I probably annoy the hell out of him with all the overthinking I’m doing sometimes haha. <3 I can count on Adri for never judging me, and for helping me coming to my senses every time I need a reminder to stop talking and thinking about bullshit. <3 I can count on Réka, that she’ll always be there for me, even if I’m talking shit and even if she has no idea how to react to that. <3 I can count on Zsófi. Hell yes, I can count on her, in every aspects of life, like literally. <3 I can count on Ilka any freaking time. Like literally anytime, she’s there for me no matter what. She’s one of my best friends and I just love that I can talk to her about anything and there are no taboos with her. <3 I can count on Klári, yeeepp, another new name on the list, because she’s just simply amazing and she’s become one of my best friends at uni. <3 I can count on Evi for ALWAYS having time for me and for always giving me the best hugs every time we meet. <3 I can count on Meme, my main biatch. <3 I can count on Berni for coming to shows with me, and for being sooooo freaking understanding. <3 I can count on Joanna for having the funniest and best convos about everything. <3 I can count on Roxy, of course, cause she’s still my female Woody and always will be, no matter what, and she’s seriously the best if I need any advice. <3 I can count on Imaani for just being her awesome self and being the same person as me hahaha, seriously, we’re literally the same person many times, and she’s the absolute best person in the world, I have no idea what on earth would I do without her. <3 I can count on Galka for understanding all of my crazy stuff and even tho we didn’t really talk that much during this year, I love that any time we start talking, we can continue right where we’ve stopped before. <3

And so that. This, right now is not a thanksgiving, this is counting. Ohhhhh hahah, I’m ridiculous, just made this thing all about maths, please, I guess this is where I should stop writing and go to sleep. :DD Nah, just kidding, so let’s get back to serious mode. All in all, I felt the need to write this post because I just needed to let this out. All the things I was thinking about when I read last year’s post again. I still can’t say thank you enough to all of these people, and I get all emotional every time I realize how great they are and how much they have helped me and it just makes me feel all kinds of grateful. So huge shot out to them, because they make my life whole and they help me through the night to make it to the sunrise. ;) <3