autogeneity

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I will be going into social media hibernation as of next week, for an estimated minimum of 3 months. I have created a dreamwidth account at the same name. I haven't posted anything and don't expect to anytime soon: this is mainly for in case this website collapses while I'm away. I would be grateful if anyone wants to share their alternative platforms or contact methods, for the same scenario.

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So rude that you can’t say “okay, I’m done thinking about that” and then actually stop thinking about it

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a couple of years ago it was like a switch flipped and I discovered that I could change myself on purpose and it was so liberating

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i crave connection but also silence and zero human interaction

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when i dont reply to a message itsbecause i love you

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what is it about triangle shaped sandwuiches that genuinely taste better. what secrets do the triangles hold.

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Liliq files are, of course, the epitome of bioinformatics software design. Excessively bespoke and somehow blind to half of the tooling available and how it works under the hood justifying a new pipeline and janky easily bypassed conversion on nothing but the designers' preferences and a backronym.

They are also compressed like shit and generally run 200GB minimum and their metadata format is compatible with nothing and gets wiped at every other pipeline step.

😭😭😭 STOP GUTTING ME OUT IN THE OPEN PIKE THIS I HAD TO LOOK UP IF THIS SHIT WAS REAL AT THIS POINT

Bioinformatics is the process of converting one text file in a ridiculously specific, platform specific format to another text file in a ridiculously specific, platform specific format. The tool that does so is available via a broken make file on a public GitHub page made by a grad student 3 years ago during their thesis that was promptly abandoned. You have to edit the source and recompile to make it work. There is no documentation. Confused? You idiot. You absolute shitgoblin. Read the paper detailing the theoretical inner workings of the algorithm and the experiment it was designed to analyze and figure it out from there.

Now do that same kind of thing 20 more times for each intermediate analysis step you have to do to get to the point where you actually have statistical analysis. And then do those same 20 steps 15 times for all your trials, hope you made a neat little managing script that runs it all in sequence perfectly for each different case!

Oh, and each file is several hundred GB. Get it done by the conference next week.

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my horny ass couldn't be a topologist

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emotionally retreating from everyone to focus on getting worse

[autogeneity]

I will be going into social media hibernation as of next week, for an estimated minimum of 3 months. I have created a dreamwidth account at the same name. I haven't posted anything and don't expect to anytime soon: this is mainly for in case this website collapses while I'm away. I would be grateful if anyone wants to share their alternative platforms or contact methods, for the same scenario.

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actually, not quite correct on the last part. I think my update was actually, "that wasn't so bad?"

like I lost my phone which was annoying and expensive, and the first few days after were tricky without my bank card and such, and S lost his student card ie keys to accommodation...would probably have been much more annoying if they didn't get my wallet back; mightve been bad if I was totally broke

but it wasn't exactly life-ending, I don't feel like they were ever really going to shoot me (I guess plausibly by accident. they were amateurs. I am likely wrong in this assessment). it's not actually a thing I find particularly terrifying

was kind of fascinating getting mugged alongside S, who was anxious and paranoid and did pick up on the people acting suspiciously, while I was freaking out for unrelated reasons like being concerned that my reality is fuckd't and those guys aren't even there, but also still basically convinced it was fine. and then I was a bit more shook up during/immediately after. but he was traumatized in a lasting way, and became more anxious and paranoid. meanwhile I seemingly did not update on this incident at all in any way except that apparently if you are with a white guy the police drive you home and get your possessions back

[autogeneity]

was kind of fascinating getting mugged alongside S, who was anxious and paranoid and did pick up on the people acting suspiciously, while I was freaking out for unrelated reasons like being concerned that my reality is fuckd't and those guys aren't even there, but also still basically convinced it was fine. and then I was a bit more shook up during/immediately after. but he was traumatized in a lasting way, and became more anxious and paranoid. meanwhile I seemingly did not update on this incident at all in any way except that apparently if you are with a white guy the police drive you home and get your possessions back

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I am often erroneously perceiving myself as not being under attack

One of the things about me is I don't feel particularly attacked by anyone. Neither does anyone seem to be attacking me in reality nor do I seem to be interpreting neutral social cues as threatening. In fact I live in a world where I just don't feel particularly attacked by anybody. This seems to be like exceedingly rare; people online, given their self-reports, are mostly either actually constantly under attack or erroneously perceive themselves to be. Well, not me. Nobody is attacking me as far as I can tell.

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so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[autogeneity]

I will be going into social media hibernation as of next week, for an estimated minimum of 3 months. I have created a dreamwidth account at the same name. I haven't posted anything and don't expect to anytime soon: this is mainly for in case this website collapses while I'm away. I would be grateful if anyone wants to share their alternative platforms or contact methods, for the same scenario.

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Guy who learns kung fu, then realizes kung fu can be defeated by MMA so he learns that, then realizes MMA can be defeated by guns so he buys one, then realizes that guns can be defeated by law enforcement so he becomes a lawyer, then realizes that the law can be overthrown so he becomes a paramilitary general, then realizes that naked force can be enveloped by ideology so he becomes a religious leader, then realizes that ideology is primarily determined by the means of production so he becomes an inventor, then realizes that successful invention requires a finely honed mind so he becomes a psychologist, then realizes that the mind is just part of the body so he learns kung fu