#again I’m not interacting with anyone or anything related to smosh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tame-a-messenger · 6 months

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Re: the last post I submitted. Ok but I honestly feel like if they were related they would’ve mentioned it before and/or joked about it (more than that little side comment that was clearly just them having a moment). Also I’m realizing how weird it is to be like “they’re Italian they MUST be related” like Italy isn’t a whole big ass country 😭 so I feel like it’s not a “we’re related” thing. I mean who knows maybe they are related but I feel like they aren’t but yk 🤷‍♀️

So then there’s the (delusional) “is this a reveal??” side. I’m gonna be so honest and say that I have noticed a shift in their dynamic recently and have been wanting to mention it but didn’t know how (so I guess now’s my chance lol). I don’t know when it started exactly but all I know is that Damangela with white haired Damien hits different. I feel like they’ve been sweeter to each other recently. They definitely still tease each other but I feel like it’s not as often or as “mean.” There’s been a lot more like fond looks and soft smiles between them than there used to be. Like wayy more “heart eyes” going on there. Ironically I think it happened after the “I know Damien’s” Incident™️ because I remember thinking that they’re gonna back off a bit because of how hard Damien was trying to prevent people thinking they’re together (bud pal coworker…. Also can we talk about how exaggerated that reaction was?? Like I honestly don’t think anyone would’ve thought too much of it if he didn’t react so strongly. Get your mind out of the gutter Damien smh 🙄 /j). Anyway but then one of the next videos had them making their characters shamelessly flirt with each other for half the video for absolutely no reason (and also more from Damien’s side from what I remember which is ironic). Like I thought they’d back off after that but if anything it made them even closer and interact MORE often.

IF (and this is a big if) they are together I wonder if that moment made them think about and confront their feelings for each other in a weird way. However one of the main reasons I think they aren’t together is because I don’t think we’ve ever seen them hang out outside of smosh which is a HUGE sign they aren’t imo. I mean there is the thing of them interacting with each other’s tiktoks and stuff but that’s about it. There’s been times where Damien offered to have Angela come over (once during the don’t win Mario stream and once more jokingly during the Reddit video) and I think Angela had said something about “oh didn’t you get a new ___ for your place?” (Again in the Reddit video I think?) but we have no proof that they actually have hung out afaik. Then again maybe they’d want to be more private for a while first and just aren’t posting about any times they’ve hung out (especially since if my timeline of this not real relationship is correct they would’ve been together like what 2 months?). I wasn’t around when Damien was dating Saige but did they post about hanging out outside of smosh before they announced they were dating? Idk

Holy shit I just realized I wrote a whole essay about this omg I need to stop 😭 I really went from just enjoying their dynamic and not really shipping them to writing essays about if they’re together or not (I think this officially elevates me to “ships them” status 😭) tldr: I’m delusional and insane :)

Hello again Anon!

this is a long one so I’ll try to answer one paragraph at a time lol.

Maybe them finding out they’re related is a brand new thing? They could still be related, Italy is a big country but it’s weird how often people that are related end up in similar areas, jobs and have similar beliefs, even having never met each other, like invisible string theory.(I’ve had my parents meet people related to them at their jobs and where they lived, and across the world. its not just theory sometimes) all that to say “maybe they are?”

There has been a shift in dynamic recently, it's super hard to pin down if it was in a video or in-between videos, since they shoot them all in a week (5 days) so we could be getting timelines mixed.

“I think it happened after the “I know Damien’s” Incident™️ because I remember thinking that they’re gonna back off a bit because of how hard Damien was trying to prevent people thinking they’re together” that’s also about where I place the shift too but I made a list of possible reasons VVV

possible reasons for shift-> D&D starting up again so could be them hanging out more often to solidify plans for it>the Incident™️>The shameless flirting in Board AF Betrayal>Damien's version of "wet cop" flirting with her or his impression of her(both in the same video, I think that’s the first video with white haired Damien aswell I think) I Put the instances of “flirting” here mainly because its definitely a boundary that's been broken (even in a funny friendly way) which would make anybody a little closer.

I was also thinking the Incident™️ would change the dynamic for the worst but I'm so happy it didn't! they have been a bit friendlier recently (tbh they've always been pretty friendly though) so I’m glad that Incident™️ didn’t change anything for the worse.

As much as its a fun idea to think they've been hiding their relationship, I don't think so. Life's always changing but I don't really see any "romance" in their relationship rn, I think they just both really appreciate and love one another.

I also don't think Damien is far enough out of his last relationship to be thinking about anything serious, at least until next year (I'm talking out of my ass, he's 33)

“I wasn’t around when Damien was dating Saige but did they post about hanging out outside of smosh before they announced they were dating?” I’m gonna be maybe a little too honest here, I never liked her, she gave me a really bad feeling so I avoided her, so I don't really know if they did myself, what I DO know is that they started dating not too long after she “joined” (I believe she was a freelancer more than a cast member) and would post couple photos (cosplays and the like) on Instagram. If anyone knows if they did post about hanging out outside of work before they announced they were dating I’d like to know.

thanks for the submission anon! I had fun reading all the conspiracies lol.

who knows maybe you're right ;)

#tldr: I’m delusional and insane :)#the Incident™️#damngela dynamic enjoyer #damien/angela #damngela #damgela #damien x angela #damien and angela #damangela

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passionate-hedgehog · 4 years

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Hooked (Damien Haas x Reader)

Damien and his producer girlfriend just wanted to update their fans on a SMOSHcast after he posted a picture to his instagram account indirectly outing them as a couple. So, why are Sarah and Shayne singled out at the end?

Damien Haas x OC

5020 words

ITALICS are flashbacks

AN: I wrote this in 5 hours so if it sucks, it’s because I rushed. I tried really hard not to delve into SMOSH fanfiction but fuck me, I’m here. and I hate it. I had to pee the entire time. I have zero clue how VIDCON or any fan convention works. It is what it is. Mythical are assholes kinda in this.

AN2: Find my first Ian Hecox fic here.

AN3: I’ve rewritten it to be a Damien x Reader

m.list

“Welcome to another SMOSHcast. I am Ian Hecox from SMOSH.” The host of the podcast looked into the camera put off to the side to record video. “We have a few guests today. Right next to me is producer Sarah Whittle…”

“Isss meee!” The producer proclaimed in her cute tone. “I’m Sarah Whittle from SMOSH.”

The host continued, “And next to her is Shayne Topp, actor extraordinaire.”

“Heeeeyyyy. I’m Shayne.” The actor whispered weirdly into the mic.

As the group at the table giggled and/or rolled their eyes, Ian did the next introduction. “And then we have our video game professionalist: Damien Haas.”

“Aw, that’s sweet, man. Thank you.” Damien replied to the host and then looked into the camera. “Yes, I am Damian Haas, an actor from SMOSH. Disclaimer: we ALL play video games. Don’t let them fool you, listeners.”

“Mmmm...not quite.” The final guest commented from the left side of Damian. “Unless you count merge games on the phone. Not that you haven’t tried to hook me into them.”

“Oh, yeah.” Shayne piped in. “Y/n, you’re not a fan of video games.”

Damien and Y/n were sitting on his couch with controllers in their hands and cats by their legs. Damien was working on loading Smash Bros onto the tv while Y/n scratched behind Zelda’s ears.

“I know our thing is you watching me play, but I think you might really like this one. I promise.” Damien tapped at his buttons to work through the settings.

“When I gave you that business card back at VIDCON that said ‘I’d love to watch you play games sometime,’ I meant it. YOU play. YOU.” She pouted.

He shrugged as if it was out of his hands. “It’s already been decided.”

“Do we gotta, though? Like, I’m totally content watching you play and using my hands for more important things...like loving on the felines. So important.

”“Super important.” Damien nodded in agreement.

“Super important.” Y/n repeated, feeling as if she won.

“Too bad.” Damien looked back at the screen. “What character do you want to play as?”

Y/n groaned in despair and threw her body backward against the cushions. “Fuck me.”

Damien looked at her with raised eyebrows. “What’s up?”

The look on Y/n’s face told him not to push it.

Damien turned his head to the new producer. “You just can’t be hooked.”

Ian chuckled. “Well, I think we’ve proved that you can, as a matter of fact, be hooked.”

She looked at the host with a playful glare. “You really ready for this conversation?”

It was Y/n’s first VidCon and, honestly, still her first month at Mythical. Her job was to engage the attendees that walked past the Mythical booth in conversation. She was meant to talk about things pertaining to the people and things in the videos. She was still fresh at her production assistant role and didn’t know much about Mythical’s behind the scenes things quite yet. She’d had a few people stop by, and she was able to amp up the hype for the projects she knew were coming up. That was a thing she could do, and she did it well. She loved Mythical so far.

When a small group of people around her age started walking towards her booth while laughing and what looked to be recording, she started to feel a little shy. She was an extrovert, which helped with what she was supposed to be doing. But there hasn’t been an actual group of people to approach her. The closer they got, the more nervous she got. She ended up deciding to take the L and make herself look busy in hopes that they’d just keep walking. It worked in the end, but she felt bad about purposefully not doing her job. She promised herself she wouldn’t let herself do that again and made sure to engage with anyone she could while at her station.

When it was Mythical’s turn at the panel, she stood off to the side and took pictures of her bosses and co-workers. She filmed a little for future needs and made sure to enjoy her time overall. She also made sure to listen to what Rhett and Link talked about and store it away for later and made mental notes on things she had questions about.

It was when she was going through some of her pictures during the fan Q&A that she noticed someone was watching her. She had glanced up for a second while being in thought when they locked eyes. She squinted while trying to figure out who he was really looking at because there was no way he was looking at her. She wasn’t even a producer that the fans knew. It took a minute, but he eventually looked away, while looking like he was caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

The next day, she was able to explore a little bit more. One of the OG producers took over the booth, and she decided to go and see what else was out there. She ended up stumbling upon interactive video gaming booths. She wasn’t a fan of video games, but she always liked watching people play them. Those that really enjoyed video games would be the most entertaining. It always pulled her in.

She scanned the games that were being played and caught sight of the group of people from yesterday. Feelings of guilt from not doing her job hit her, and she gnawed at her lip. She knew she had to start going easier on herself, but there was still a fear that the company would one day realize she was some incompetent girl from the midwest that didn’t belong in California or the industry.

“Hey, are you okay?” A voice spoke from in front of her.

She looked up and noticed the guy from the day before looking at her with scrunched eyebrows. “Huh?”

“You looked like you were trying to give yourself snakebite piercings with your teeth, and your foot was tapping faster than Thumper. Do you need anything? Or is there someone I can get for you?” He looked around the area.

She shook her thoughts from her head. “No, thank you. I’m fine. I didn’t realize I was that lost in thought.”

“Do you...do you work for Mythical? I saw you yesterday taking pictures of the panel, and I noticed you were at the booth. So yes...you do work for Mythical. That was a dumb question, never mind.” The guy scratched his face awkwardly.

Y/n assessed the situation. Was this guy a fan of Mythical? Like one of THOSE fans that she needed to be concerned about? Or was he just trying to make conversation? Y/n was at a disadvantage. She was alone at VIDCON (and California altogether, but that's for a different day), and she wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“Hey, Damien! I thought you were going to play the Halo campaign?” A blonde guy came up to the two. There were a few others with him; Y/n recognized them as the group from earlier.

The guy, Damien?, looked to the group as if forgetting that they were there. “Oh. Yeah. That slipped my mind entirely. Guys, this is...uh…”

“Y/n. My name is Y/n.” She smiled her work-place smile—the polite one she saved for when she didn’t know what else to do.

“She works for Mythical. Isn’t that cool?” Damien smiled as if he really thought taking pictures of the panel at VIDCON was the biggest dream job anyone could ever have.

“I think you’re way too excited about what I do for my job.” She laughed in response.

“It’s probably because he relates to it a little. We work for SMOSH.” The blonde friend supplied.

Y/n tried really hard not to let her face control the conversation. “Forgive me, but I don’t know what that actually is. And by the looks on your faces, I feel like maybe I should….”

“Oh, it’s ok!” Damien interjected. “If you haven’t gone to a panel yet, ours is later tonight. You should come by and check it out. Our channel has a few different things.”

One of the other group members stepped in. “Yeah, there's sketch comedy, video games, things like that. You’re at the video games booths, so I’ll assume you like video games?”

That made her chuckle. “I actually don’t really like video games. I was just wandering around because I got a break from the Mythical booth.”

When she looked at the group again, she noticed they were all staring at Damien with raised eyebrows.

“Oh. Right…” He said while looking shocked. “Well... as Noah said...there’s sketch comedy?”

“Well, who doesn’t like to laugh??” Y/n shrugged. “I’ll try to make it to the panel! Thanks for introducing me to something. I have to actually make it back to my booth to help with cleaning up. But I’ll be waiting for the panel!”

On the last day of VIDCON, Y/n was exhausted. She was just thoroughly exhausted. When she went to get herself a snack from the food service area to refuel for breaking down the booth, Damien was there as well. His group wasn’t with him, which made it easier for her to approach him.

“Damien?” She called when she was a few feet behind him. He turned around and held a pleasantly surprised expression. “Hey, I ended up missing your panel, but I hoped it went really well.”

“That’s ok. It means a lot that you found me and told me that. Thank you for the consideration.” The look in his eyes was earnest. He really meant what he said. “How was your first VIDCON?”

“I wasn’t really sure what to expect, to be honest. I don’t know a lot about any of this. I’m completely new to the industry. But I’m excited to see where it takes me. I hope to see VIDCON next year. Maybe you’ll be here too?” She licked her lips, wondering if that was a little too forward.

“I hope so, too. I’d really enjoy that.” He gave a smile that melted Y/n’s insides.

“Oh! I have a thing for you!” The PA reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out a small card. “It’s the industry, and one of the rules is to exchange business cards, right? Here’s mine.”

He looked at the white cardstock in his hands, noting that something was scrawled onto the back of it. “I gotta say. You’re super prepared for someone new to this. I don’t even have one. But thank you. I gotta get back to my group so we can head back to Sacramento. It was nice to meet you, Y/n.”

Y/n watched him reach a hand out to her, and she took it to shake. “It was nice to meet you, too, Damien.”

The host sighed. “And our final guest, today, is SMOSH producer: Y/f/n Y/l/n. This is her first cast, and we’re very excited to have her on.”

“Aw, thanks, Ian. I almost forgive you.” She said with a glint in her eyes. “Yes, I am Y/n. I’m a new producer for SMOSH. I currently work under Sarah until I can get my feet more settled on the ground here.”

Shayne chimed in. “Have you noticed a difference yet? Between here and Mythical?”

The producer looked to be in thought before she replied. “Hm. The obvious difference is the job title. I was just a PA there, but I did a lot of producer side work because there were opportunities. I didn’t ever actually produce, but I still did a lot. I’m not complaining; I loved it. Obviously, or I wouldn’t have stayed as long as I did. But because I am currently working under someone, it’s mostly the same.”

The host closed his water bottle after taking a swig from it. “Are you excited to start as a producer on your own soon?”

“Uh, oh! Trick question!” Shayne called in his Aunt Carolyn voice before going back to normal. “You gotta say yes. Or you get fired.”

“Listen, bruh. I’ll take you. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Well, that’s not fair. Fighting you is like fighting three people right now. I’d have absolutely no hope!” The actor threw his hands into the air.

“OOOH nice segue, Shayne! It goes right into today’s first topic.” Ian looked into the camera. “We’ve always considered SMOSH as a...a family. We’ve had good times and some really awful bad times together. There are a few different kinds of out-of-the-workplace relationships amongst all of us.”

“Yeah, like Y/n has become my complete best friend. I mean, it started while she worked at Mythical, but it hasn’t changed since she moved over here. And right now, especially right now, we’ve grown even closer.” Sarah cut in while motioning to the new producer.

Y/n excitedly jumped in. “Yeah, I’m super thankful for Sarah just existing in the first place. I don’t have any family here in California, as you guys here at the table know. So, during everything that’s been happening, it’s been really...uplifting to have her support through it all. I couldn’t imagine the past year and a half without her.”

Sarah’s sweet smile held as she reached her hand out across the table and Y/n grabbed it to hold for a second. The men around the table let out a chorus of “aw’s.”

“Yeah, Damien, are you being replaced?” Ian asked. Jokingly.

The actor chuckled. “Listen, if Sarah wants to replace me, that’s fine. She’s got more cats. I completely understand.”

“That’s true.” Y/n looked into space. “She has quite a few more cats than you. But Freya and Zelda have become my children. I could never leave them behind. I’d have to take them with me!”

Damien looked at her for a second before he gave a simple “no.”

“I tried. Sorry, Sarah.”

The older producer giggled and shrugged. “That’s okay. I don’t know how many more cats Claudio will be okay with me having.”

“You just see Claudio coming home one day to an apartment full of six cats, and he’s super confused. ‘Sarah Whittle???? Do you even live here anymore? Sarah?’” Shayne laughed after giving a very bad mimic of Claudio’s accent.

“And then there’s just one giant cat because I’ve become one myself. ”

“But it’s like a cat from the movie ‘CATS,’ so it’s super terrifying.” Damien chuckled his way through his addition to the joke.

“Oh, my God. No. My poor husband. I couldn’t. OKAY, no more cats. I give I give! Damien, you can keep your girlfriend.” Sarah laughed.

There was a quick hush that spread across the studio. Ian raised his eyebrows and nodded. That just made his job so much easier.

“So, back to today’s topic…Some of our guests have an announcement to make.”

“It’s not really an announcement, though, Ian.” Damian began but stopped when the girl to his left gently put her hand on his arm.

“It kinda is. The photo from earlier wasn’t like...an official announcement. The caption you gave was a little vague. I also don’t know why I’m even arguing. My bad, babe.”

Damien turned toward her as best as he could with the surrounding equipment and table. “No, don’t worry about it. You’re right. This morning’s photo wasn’t an official statement.”

If there was one aspect of being in Y/n’s current life situation that she detested the most, it was the constant migraines. Without fail, she would develop a headache when she first woke up.

Damien learned to be prepared for the morning routine. In the first few months of their new lifestyle, he had grown to realize that mornings weren’t going to be the easiest. He would be the first to wake up, take his shower, and start the coffee and tea. Y/n had been a heavy coffee drinker until recently.

After the actor got his morning routine out of the way, he went to wake up his girlfriend. It wasn’t that she wasn’t a morning person...but that she had difficult mornings. As he walked into their shared bedroom, he noticed she was sleeping peacefully for the first time in a while. Without wanting to miss out on the opportunity to express how happy he was at seeing his partner in a relaxed state, he pulled out his phone and snapped a pic. He opened Instagram to edit the picture, adding a grayscale filter. The caption was kept short, simple, and mildly vague; they did have a SMOSHcast announcement to make later that day, after all. After making sure that the blankets covered her body, he posted the picture for all of his followers to see. He proceeded to put his phone back into his pocket and get on with the rest of the usual morning routine.

Y/n pouted. “You’re so good to me.”

Damien gave a gentle smile and tapped her bottom lip so she’d stop. “It’s because you deserve the world.”

“I remember now why I made that rule about you two showing affection in the office. Y’all are gross.” The host shivered.

“You don’t have to lie, Ian. We know you dig it,” Shayne interceded.

“Yeah, when I first started a few months ago, I really believed my job would have been in jeopardy had Damien and I been caught in anything other than a respective distance apart from each other as co-workers. But, now that I’ve been here for a minute, I can tell how much you like to see your kids happy.” Y/n winked at her boss.

The president of SMOSH nodded in agreement. “The rules were for you two, honestly. I knew that you wanted to keep things private, so I was just trying to create a safe work environment for you. I’d never, well...at least now that I’m in charge of it all… I’d never ask you guys to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. When we agreed that you’d be coming over to SMOSH, Y/n, I knew that your privacy as a person and a couple would be at the top of your concerns. It wasn’t necessarily your choice to be a part of SMOSH, and I’ll never stop apologizing for that, but I want your experience here to be worth it. You’re worth it just by existing.”

“God, Ian. You know I cry easier these days, man. Don’t do this to me. Don’t be that ho. Fuck.” The girl was wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her SMOSH merch hoodie. “It’s fine. I didn’t actually put makeup on today. It’s cool. Whatever.”

“But I mean it. You were thrown to us when we needed it the most, and I’m, and the rest of us, are extremely grateful for you.”

There was a jovial nature to the lounge that everyone was in. The SMOSH cast hung out in between sketch takes and were gathered for an impromptu meeting that Ian had called earlier that day. No one thought anything of it when Y/n walked in and made herself comfy next to Damien on the couch. Shayne was originally next to him, but he automatically got up and sat on the arm instead.

“How’s today been so far?” The Mythical PA asked as she settled in.

“Not bad. We knocked out a few sketches. We have some Pit stuff to record after this meeting.” Her boyfriend’s best friend responded.

“OH Y/n!” She heard Courtney cry from across the room. “Them boots! They’re so cute!”

“Thank you, Courtney! I found them on a resale Facebook shop. I’m not mad at them.”

Everyone in the room fell into their own conversations about this and that. Y/n took the time to look around and really take in the SMOSH members surrounding her. A year ago, she didn’t know ANYTHING about SMOSH, but she was happy for the relationships she built and the opportunities that being affiliated with the channel gave her. When SMOSH was bought by MYTHICAL, she found herself wandering over to SMOSH once or twice and did some side work. They’d borrow her occasionally, and she loved it.

Ian had walked into the room during her reverie and was attempting to draw everyone’s attention. Y/n missed the first part of what he was saying but eventually caught on.

“So, because we’re down a producer, we’ve been able to pick up a new one full-time. I think we’re all pretty excited that Y/f/n Y/l/n is officially joining our team as a SMOSH producer.” Ian kept going, but Y/n tuned him out to work through what he just said.

“Wh...what?” She asked, completely confused. “What did you just say?”

“You moved to SMOSH?” She heard Jackie ask from her right.

“Babe?” Damien looked down at her with scrunched eyebrows. “I didn’t know you were leaving Mythical.”

“I...I didn’t either.” The girl started floundering. “I...what? When did I move here? What do you mean I work here now? I don’t...What? I love Mythical...I would never leave.”

The president of SMOSH sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Well, fuck. This is not what was supposed to happen. I was given the green light from Mythical to make an official announcement. I would not have had this meeting if I, at any point, didn’t think you would know…”

“So...just like that...I work here now?” The girl was close to tears.

The room was quiet.

“Right. Right...I uh…” she got up and wiped her hands on her jeans. “I guess I have an office that I gotta cleanout on the other side of the building. If you’ll all excuse me…”

No one said anything as she left. Everyone looked at Damien, who then looked at Ian. Ian sighed heavily and walked out of the lounge.

Y/n was in the office she used to occupy putting things in boxes and trying hard not to cry. She loved working at Mythical. There hadn’t seemed to be any problems that she could see, but maybe she was so blinded by all of the good things in her life that she missed something.

“Do you want some help?” Damien stood in the doorway, wearing a sad smile.

That’s when she lost all composure. He must have caught the second she was about to start sobbing because he was right next to her chair, holding her as she kept sitting. He whispered words of love and encouragement as she cried.

“I don’t understand! I thought I was doing so well. I love it here! I got so much out of being here. What did I do?!”

Damien was crouched next to her at this point, wiping her tears. “Did you talk to them?”

“For like a minute. They said that I’d see more opportunities at SMOSH. They said that they could see me becoming something better over there. But they didn’t tell me that before they talked to Ian? I’m the one that essentially got fired! How can they just make these decisions for me?! I’m not…” She stopped.

“You’re not what, Baby?” He had his hands cupping her cheeks.

“I’m...I’m not ready...I don’t want to be a producer yet. I’m not ready to leave the nest yet. I don’t want it to change.”

Damien nodded in understanding. “That’s what’s really upsetting you, isn’t it? You don’t feel you’re ready to make this career change. Yes, and about being traded to SMOSH.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I love all of you. I love SMOSH. But I belong at Mythical. This is my home.” The woman sniffled. “It’s not time to leave.”

“Baby, you’re going to flourish at SMOSH. I know you’re terrified. Especially since this isn’t something that was discussed with you. And you’re right. It’s not fair. I’m sorry that they didn’t say anything to you.” He brushed some hair out of her face. “Love, it’s your choice if you want to work at SMOSH, but Baby, it’s time to leave Mythical.”

The next day at SMOSH, the couple found themselves at Ian’s desk. They were called in first thing, but Y/n wasn’t quite sure why. Ian was in his chair, taking a sip of his coffee while the two looked at each other.

“I think...we need to talk about somethings now that you’re both at SMOSH together. I know that you guys have been keeping everything private dealing with your relationship.” Ian took a minute to think through his thoughts.

The two nodded to show that they were listening and agreeing, so far.

“I couldn’t be happier that you two found each other. You’ve somehow managed to find your perfect other halves. It lifts the spirits here when you’d come over and visit, Y/n. You were already one of us before this week happened. I mean it.”

Y/n gave a sweet smile. “I know you do, Ian. I love you, too.

”Ian sucked in a breath. “So, I’ll have to lay some rules down in order to protect your privacy, because that’s my concern. What you do out of office hours is whatever. If you decide to come out as a couple, then I support it one hundred percent. But for now, with your wishes to remain unknown to the fans as in a relationship, there can’t be any PDA. We gotta nip that in the bud. I know this place is our home, but you never know. And when we’re on location or on a set, just please be careful. Okay? We’re a small company. We don’t have that many PR resources. Okay? Does that sound fair?”

The couple looked at each other. They seemed to be conversing with just their eyebrows and head movements. It took a minute or two before Damien spoke up.

“Yeah, about that...We do want to keep it as private as possible, but that might start to get a little hard.”

“Please don’t tell me that one of you posted something and that I’m too late.” Ian tapped the desk, anxiously.

“Oh, don’t worry, Ian.” Y/n bit her lip. “You’re not the one that’s late.”

The president couldn’t keep the deadpan expression from his face. “You kids are gonna put me in an early grave.”

“Keep it up, Hecox, and I’ll quit. I swear it. I’ll just sit at home all day with the cats whilst judging OG SMOSH videos and why that weirdo with a bowl cut acts the way he does.”

“Okay, claws in, tiger.” The table laughed with Ian trying to fake-placate the girl. “I’ll hold in the nice things for the rest of the cast.”

“Thank you.” Y/n blinked. “No, wait!”

“Hey, Y/n,” Shayne called. “I like your hoodie.”

“Oh, this ol’ thing?” She pulled at it. “It’s borrowed, and it’s super soft. I’m LIVING. I wanted to ask if there was some vault or something where I could get my own.”

“No, no…” her boyfriend patted her shoulder. “You can wear this one. You can just wear all of my hoodies. Don’t worry about it.”

“I won’t be able to fit in them forever. I was already bigger than you to begin with. I don’t have long until I’ll get stuck putting them on. I need bigger ones, babe.” She turned to Ian. “Honestly, I don’t care what they look like. I just know I’m quickly running out of time before nothing fits anymore.”

“Yeah, of course. You’ll get your own to pick from. Don’t worry about it.”

It was Damien’s turn to pout. “But I like seeing your tumtum. Don’t put it awaaaay.”

“I love you so much, Damien, I do. But I’m about to suffocate in this.” She tried pulling at the bottom hem of the shirt to prove her point.

“If I may ask, how far along are you?” Ian spoke. “Also, as I ask this, I can see Shayne in the corner of my eye, giving me a look because he knows this answer.”

The blonde gave a suspicious smile. “I’m like the pregnancy stalker. I wasn’t trying to be weird about it. I was trying to give them their space, but like, Damien is my best friend in the entire world. I admit I have a problem. It hasn’t reached the point where I show up to doctor appointments, however.”

“Yet.” Y/n chimed in. “But uh to answer your question, Ian, we’re about...6 months? I think? Honestly, anything with numbers is gone from my head. Pregnancy brain is real. I talked to my best friend back home, who has two children, and she said sometimes, pregnancy brain never goes away. So...I’m SUPER excited for that. I can't wait to never do math again. THANKFULLY my man is super smart. He just has to be smart enough for the both of us from now on until we die.”

“That’s the most pressure I’ve ever been under. Thanks, babe.”

Shayne laughed. “Yeah. Having a kid? Easy. Being smart? Oh, man. OOOOOOH MAN. Whole other level.”

The SMOSHcast went on and drifted away from Y/n and Damien’s relationship to other topics. They talked about upcoming projects, future trips, and movies that were coming out. Shayne and Damien threw out jokes. Sarah and Y/n shared looks pertaining to things that were between just the two of them. Ian made sure to keep the talk flowing and always had something to say to stir the pot.

Finnerty called out that they were winding down to about fifteen minutes left of recording. Ian looked at the couple across from him and gave a slight signal that Sarah and Shayne didn’t miss. They shared a look but waited for the expecting couple to start. Y/n and Damien looked at each other to decide who was going to start. Y/n shrugged and sat up straight.

“So there was something else we wanted to share. But it’s actually for the two of you.” She faced Shayne and Sarah. “We were wondering if you’d do us the honor and be our kid’s godparents?”

Sarah’s face lit up, and Shayne gave a simple and quiet “what?”

Damien picked up where Y/n left off. “You two are our best friends, respectively. While yes, we wanted to discuss everything and make this cast an honest statement to the fans, we wanted to ask you something important to us. We love you guys, and there’s no one better for it.”

“OH MY GOD YES! REALLY?!” Sarah yelled but immediately apologized into the mic to the editing team. “You really want us to be godparents?? It’s a total, yes from me! I could never turn that down!”

Everyone turned to Shayne, who was busy trying to hide his tears behind his hands as he tilted his head back. They let him try to collect himself for a minute before Damien tried again.

“Buddy? You good?” He put a hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

“Oh, my God. You really trust me with that?” The blonde actor ran his hands through his hair while still looking at the ceiling.

The look in Damien’s eyes was softer than what Y/n was used to seeing aimed at anyone but herself. But she understood it. It was Damien and Shayne, after all. She winked at Sarah as the two giggled softly.

“Of course! Who else do you think I’d ask? You’re the only one I’d ever pick for that, man. I love you. And I’d be honored if you’d just say ‘yes,’ you dingus.”

“Well, duh! You think I’d say no? Oh, my God.” Shayne and Damien awkwardly hugged as best as they could.

Ian nodded at the whole thing. “Yep. Well, that’s a good place to leave that. Thank you, guys, for listening. If you enjoyed this SMOSHcast and want to know when we post more, then hit that bell. Subscribe. And hey, watch the rest of the videos we’ve uploaded. Stay safe out there. We love you.”

#smosh fanfic #kill me #i keep falling to depths i never i think ill reach #smosh #what have i become #damien haas #damien haas x reader #shaymien friendship #is this another smoshcast #smoshcast #family

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