#agptd

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 26 (smut)

Warning: Harsh language, violence, smut

He was all over me, literally. Whilst he kept my lips and tongue busy with his, his hands roamed across my body, gently caressing every square inch of it. The last tattered remains of my clothes fell off, but his silken gloves kept me warm against the cold air. I sucked on his lower lip to encourage him further, and in response he leaned into me. The sensation of his touch multiplied, and during a breath pause to draw breath I opened my eyes. Penny had sprouted another two pairs of arms, giving him a slightly spider-like appearance.

Whilst he played with my hair, he simultaneously worjed my erect nipples, kneading them; pinching them just enough to illicit a sweet stinging pain. And all the while his hands wandered down further, along my hips, in between my thighs. I pressed harder against him, the familiar desperate yearning overcoming any sense of self-control I had left. There needn’t be any more barriers between us, nothing to separate us – I had been inside him, literally, for fuck’s sake – and I tore at his clothes, fighting against the last veil of silk that stood between us.

His chuckle was barely audible, more of a deep rumble that went through his body right into mine. The hands in my hair disappeared and the pressure against me lessened, but before I could protest his fingers slipped inside me. My insides clamped down on him in an unconscious effort to pull him further along, and their effort was rewarded; Penny’s finger went deeper and deeper into me, as if they were growing in length. The weirdest sensation filled my stomach – his gloves, he must have popped his gloves – and a heartbeat later he touched that sweet, sweet spot.

I screamed as the orgasm hit me like a sledge hammer, but Penny was nowhere near done. His body pressed back against mine, finally rid of clothes and all decency, and he held me so tight I was no longer able to breathe properly. He was still mercilessly working my pussy, but another hand made its way between my ass cheeks. I briefly and very feebly thought about protesting, but in response he pressed against my G-spot again. Whether it was because I was dripping wet or by some transformation of his, his fingers quickly spread some hot liquid around my asshole. Then he inserted one.

One moment, there was the sensation of having soiled myself; then he pushed through the barrier and there was some pain. It didn’t last long, though, as having him inside both front and back quickly overwhelmed me. Still, it wasn’t enough for him. His tongue swelled up, almost forcing my jaws apart, and picked up the rhythm of his fingers as it thrust deeper and deeper into me. As he had swallowed me whole, enveloping me completely, he now filled my up with himself in every way possible. I no longer could feel any ending to my body, nor the beginning of his; all of my senses were filled with him alone.

Again, there was a brief pause as he withdrew his fingers from my pussy, then he shoved his dick into me. I came immediately, and this time it lasted. Wave after wave hit me, eroding my sense of self further and further. Something was different from all the times we had had sex before – something inside me had changed. It resonated with Penny in a way that was difficult to understand – like two sound waves with just the right frequency to suddenly amplify each other.

That resonance almost tore me apart, and I screamed on the top of my lungs as Penny shuddered and came.

The following week was entirely governed by the last minute preparations for both Bee’s return as well as the store opening, which would coincide. With Auntie’s help I fought my way through the rooms and seemingly unending layers of garbage and dirt. Thankfully Bee had already declared her intentions to renovate the whole apartment by herself, and she had spent countless hours picking colors and some new furniture from catalogs. The little insurance money she got wouldn’t allow for much more, but her DIY-attitude had significantly improved over the last days. We just made sure the dirt was gone and that the facilities worked; which they did. Still, by the time I was done every evening I did little more than hit the shower and fall into bed.

Penny found his own way to keep me company – he usually waited in my room, made good use of the phone I had gotten him, and occasionally accompanied me on my ways in the form of a big orange tabby. At night he would cradle me in his arms, making our fight seem like nothing more than a bad dream.

I didn’t have the energy to discuss it any further, either; nor could I bring myself to tell him I still felt rather overwhelmed by the sex we had had. It was a weird, uncomfortable balance that I just couldn’t deal with.

He had carried me home that night, wrapped into silk-like sheets he had miraculously produced, and he had washed me in our tiny shower. I was still entirely beside myself – I didn’t even spend a thought on auntie – and just stood there as he rinsed away his cum that poured out of my body.

He even tucked me into bed.

When the big day finally arrived, I was too tired to feel the least bit excited. I almost fell asleep twice during school, but fortunately no one noticed. It was Friday, and I was excused for the last lesson (P.E.), so I got to leave early. That also meant there was no chance of any potential bully waiting for me, and I didn’t bother checking my bike for any manipulations, as there hadn’t been any for quite a while. Of course, that didn’t turn out too well – somebody had opened the valves of my tires, and by the time I got to the shop, there was no air left in them. I didn’t care, though, as I had to prepare the little buffet auntie had organized for me (nothing major, just some tea and coffee, and some cupcakes she had surprised me with in the morning). After I finished that, I went through the registry and my documents for the last time, in a desperate attempt to not think about Penny and focus on the task at hand.

A quick glance at my watch told me that I had about fifteen minutes left before the official opening hours started. I briefly wondered whether anyone would show up at all – Auntie and I had invested in some flyers, and we had distributed them both at her working place as well as my school. I had also thrown the remaining ones into random mail boxes on my various ways. Despite that, my reputation might very well end up keeping any potential customer from actually seeking the store – my store, I reminded myself – out.

For the first time in a long while I thought back to Yaneesha, Shot and the other idiots that despised me so much. The reason for their unwavering hate was still very much of a mystery to me, but I couldn’t bring myself to wish them harm. After all, they had ultimately suffered bigger losses than I did, and ever since Yaneesha had left school, I hadn’t been physically attacked anymore.

At least not by humans.

I sighed and unlocked the doors.

To my big surprise a couple of people entered while I was putting out the huge board I had painted. They roamed around the shelves, and a tiny silver-hair lady even told me how happy she was that the store was open again. I vaguely remembered her face and came to the conclusion that she was one of the very few somewhat regular visitors. Didn’t she have a fondness for novels? I directed her towards some new arrivals, which prompted my first successful sale.

It was somewhat difficult to believe, and the whole situation felt unreal. Something about the ordinariness was quite at odds with the crazy circus my life had become. I answered questions, recommended books, and made a couple of other sales. It wasn’t much, but still a whole lot more than what I’d expected – nothing.

Auntie joined me after I had been open for ninety minutes, and I could tell how tired she was. We both forced smiles, and despite my best efforts, she insisted on staying with me, though her face grew paler by the minute. Just when I had convinced her to sit down and stop fussing, her face lit up with recognition.

“Oh, you didn’t tell me he was coming. How nice!”

I whirled around just to see Benny-Penny standing outside the store, a red balloon on a string in his hands. For some reason that really touched me – I was just glad auntie sat behind me, so she couldn’t see the stupid smile spreading across my face. I rushed out and grasped his hands.

“I’m so glad you’re here”, I gushed. “I can’t believe you’re willing to go through this… Are you okay?”

He nodded, a familiar twinkle in his eyes, and handed me the balloon. It even read “Congratulations” on it. After quickly wiping my eyes I ushered him inside, ignoring the weird vibrations that built up in my stomach.

Penny looked utterly out of place, a wonderful mixture of awkwardness and otherworldly beauty that was just a tick off – probably not enough for anyone to realize but enough to cause the other visitors to show signs of unease. It was almost comical – a guy in a rather fancy suit started fiddling with his tie, a young girl put her jacket back on, and a group of teens moved closer together. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a good thing unnerve the people who I was supposed to sell to, it was still entertaining to observe. And I couldn’t help myself but marvel at his human form; the way his muscles visibly moved beneath the thin, tight sweater he was wearing; the way that ass looked in that pair of jeans; the way his movements were still the same as in his clown form.

I quickly went into the back room and tied the balloon to my backpack, not wanting to leave Penny alone for too long; but by the time I had returned he sat beside auntie and they chatted away merrily. He laughed – that wonderful, over-the-top crazy laugh of his, and shook his head. Auntie smiled, said something and started chuckling. For a moment she looked much younger, the stress lines fading, and my heart started hurting again.

How I wished I could see her like that every day.

I joined them, but I admittedly didn’t pay much attention, nor contribute much to the conversation – I was just content to see auntie and Benny-Penny happy. My odd behavior wasn’t noticed, though; Benny told one joke after another, and soon, my costumers had circled around us, joining in on the laughs. From time to time I could have sworn I saw a glint of something in Benny’s eyes, but it always disappeared so quickly I couldn’t be sure.

It was a rather pleasant experience to have him around. Time flew by quickly, and making sales felt like something I did on the side whilst I was mainly focusing on Benny. Finally the last pulk of people left the store, and I waved after them. Auntie stood up and started cleaning the buffet table; throwing away crumbled napkins and stacking plates. I offered to help, but she refused me; so I started counting the money I had made. When she left to bring the plates upstairs to the apartment, I dropped all pretence and threw myself into Benny’s arms.

“Thank you for coming”, I whispered, somewhat at a loss at how to convey the deep gratitude I felt.

He just patted my head, but I could feel how exhausted he was. I understood all too well – being around other humans and having to act normally was difficult enough for me, and I was part of their race. I reached up and cradled his cheek in my hand.

“I will make this up to you, I promise.”

Benny’s head shot up so fast I didn’t realize he had moved for a second.

Something was wrong.

His face had become devoid of emotion, the smile that had just been there completely gone, and there was an orange hue in his eyes. He stood utterly still.

“What’s the matter?”

“One of them is coming closer.”

“Who?”

“One of them.”

It took me a second to put his words and his behavior together.

“You mean… the ones that hurt you?”

He nodded, his eyes turning ever more orange. I took his hands and pulled him around to face me.

“Listen, if you need to get out of here, go. But I don’t think you’re in danger – you look like a human, you’re in a fucking bookstore, and besides, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?” That had absolutely no effect whatsoever. He was still as tense as before. “Penny, I promise, you’re safe.”

He slowly lowered his eyes, exhaling loudly. Not even a second later, he tensed up again. This time, he was watching someone outside. I turned around and saw two young men walking down the street. They held brown paper bags and yelled loudly, pushing each other constantly. My somewhat rusty instinct for bad situations told me they were trouble.

“They want to trash your shop.”

I didn’t even question him; I was too focused on the fact that they had changed direction and were now clearly walking up to us.

“I won’t allow that.” I reached into my pocket for my phone, with every intention to call the cops, but this time, Penny grabbed my hands. He had the weirdest little smile, and his left eye started drifting to the side. For some reason, I got goosebumps. I could only watch as he left me and stood in front of the duo. They shouted something, he replied, and the three of them walked away.

What was I supposed to do? I still had my phone in my hand, and I contemplated dialing 911. But what should I say? That I had possibly evaded big trouble? That my killer clown boyfriend had just left with the troublemakers and they’d better start searching for the leftovers, if there would be any? And that Pennywise might be in danger? Hello officer, you know, there’s this creature that kills and feeds on humans, and I love him very much, and he got spooked, so could you please start an investigation, and by the way, clean up after him?

“Where’d he go?”

Auntie had come back to me and looked out the door. I shook my head, gathering my jumbled thoughts.

“Oh, his mom called, he’s supposed to help her with something.”

“It was nice of him to stop by.”

“Yeah, very nice.” I still stared at the corner around which they had disappeared, as if I could make my gaze bend around it to follow them and make sure everything was okay.

“Is everything alright? Did you quarrel?”

“Oh no, I guess I’m just… a little overwhelmed with everything.” My attempt at a reassuring smile was bad at best, but somehow auntie bought it.

“Oh well, it’s been some hectic weeks for both of us.”

I nodded. A quick glance at my phone told me it was time to close down. That, thankfully, wouldn’t take long. However, there was still-

“Look who’s come!”

For the second time that day, a very welcome visitor approached the store. This time it wasn’t my favorite alien killer clown, it was Bee; with a large suitcase in hand and a warm smile on her face.

[ilocosnortemarpsta]

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[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 24

Warning: Harsh language, violence

It's not a long one - need to get back into writing. Enjoy nonetheless!

Chapter 24

Auntie listened to me and I was alone once more with broken memories and the last remains of Mr. Shanks’ life. Determined not to have to go to that place to often, I put my everything into decluttering and cleaning. When I was finally able to properly reach some of the windows and wiped them down I was almost proud of myself. The additional light coming in made the process easier, and when Auntie finally joined me, she praised my work quite a bit. I was relieved to find her much more energetic, and together the time passed much more quickly.

We made much more progress than I’d anticipated, and by the time we called quits, the entire hallway was full of garbage bags. Neither of us had the energy to take them down, however, and Auntie’s breathing sounded quite labored, so we decided to simply return home. I glanced at my phone, but I had neither missed calls nor messages. Despite my best effort to hide my annoyance, Auntie realized right away what was going on.

“Is he giving you the silent treatment?”

I sighed. “Sort of, yes.” My stomach chose that moment to start cramping again, and I coiled my arms around it. She misunderstood that gesture.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to scare him away. He’s welcome to visit you anytime, if he just uses the front door. You tell him that.”

“Yeah, I think yesterday was probably just a bit much. Thank you, though.” If only you knew…

“How about you invite him for dinner? As a peace offering?”

I really didn’t feel like going over it again, so I quickly changed the subject.

“I will. Do you think we’ll be done by the time Bee gets out of the hospital?”

“If you’ll keep this up, I’m sure of it.” Her voice sounded cheerful, but her smile was off. I grabbed her arm and turned her towards me.

“Auntie, what’s the matter with you?”

Her indignation was just as forced as her smile.

“That’s no way to talk to me, young lady.”

“Be serious. You’re sick or something, and you should see a doctor.” I hated myself for what I said next, but I couldn’t help it. “You’re worrying me.”

Oh, the irony – how many times did we have that very same talk, just with our roles reversed? Her face fell immediately.

“I’ve just worked a lot, that’s all. But there’s good news, too. We finally got another waitress, and I won’t have to do double shifts. She’ll start next week.”

I took her hand and squeezed it. “You know, when I’ve finished school and the shop’s running, you won’t have to work there anymore.”

Auntie stared at me, then she squeezed my hand back. I could see tears in her eyes.

“Thanks, child.”

When we got home Auntie disappeared into the kitchen, and I tried to call Penny. He didn’t pick up, so I just texted him, but it was getting really annoying. I felt pretty overwhelmed – my worry for Auntie mixed with the anxiety over what had happened the day before was a strong emotional cocktail, and I didn’t feel equipped to deal with it. Once more I wondered if my old zombie self wouldn’t have handled the situation easier.

We had just sat down for dinner when the doorbell rang. I was so caught up in unwanted memories of what happened between Penny and I that I didn’t understand until I opened the door.

Benny-Penny stood before me, looking rather sheepishly.

I couldn’t help myself, I had to hug him. Auntie appeared behind me, and welcomed him warmly. Penny’s muscles tensed beneath my hands, and I quickly let go. Was he still confused about the day before? His face didn’t betray anything.

“I’m happy you could come, and to meet you properly.” Auntie’s cheerful voice interrupted my brooding thoughts, and I stepped aside to make room for her. I could feel the blood rushing to my face and my ears, and fled to the kitchen to serve another portion for Penny.

When both of them entered, they were chatting rather pleasantly about Derry, and “Benny’s life” so far. His replies were swift and calm, not suspicious at all, and there was no trace of his usual over-the-top cadence. He also didn’t really look at me.

I felt like a stranger had entered our home.

“Well, young man, I hope you like mac’n cheese.” I knew auntie well enough to know she was a little stressed over the simplicity of the dish in face of a guest, as well as over the worn-down look of our little kitchen. If you only knew where he lived.

Regardless, she sat him down, and I could see the tiniest trace of disgust in his eyes – “Cardboard, disgusting” – but he bravely dug in and even managed some compliments, putting a big smile on auntie’s face. Thankfully the tension went somewhat away, and I told Penny of our efforts with the flat, which led us to the topic of the store opening. The entire situation was so absurdly normal I almost started wondering whether I just had imagined Penny’s attack.

Before long, however, auntie started yawning badly, and announced she would go to bed. I told her to leave the dishes to me, and that Benny and I would take walk. Again, she didn’t even question that – what teenage girl “takes a walk” with a young man, anyhow? When she had left us, I turned to Penny, and found him still not looking at me.

“Okay, do you mind if we somewhere else?”

He shook his head, a familiar jingling bell sound, which I took for a somewhat good sign. But when I asked him if he wanted to change into something non-human, he shook his head again, and avoided my eyes. I nearly exploded.

I grabbed his hands, ripping my jacket off its coat-hanger, and marched out of the door, dragging Benny-Penny behind me. A quick glance around me told me the street was empty, but I still waited till we were a bit further away from our house before I let loose.

“Will you please fucking tell me what’s the matter here.” My voice was shaking, which angered me even further.

He remained quiet.

“Penny, whatever happened yesterday, I don’t understand, but I want to. Has anything similar ever happened to you?”

He mumbled something that could have been a “no”.

“Was it the animal meat?”

Another head shake, with bells again.

“Is it my period?”

Penny finally looked up, and his eyes had turned slightly crimson again. But he just stared at me.

I had it.

“Listen, either you start talking to me or I’m gonna call quits. I can’t deal with this. I haven’t had my period in ages, I’m full of hormones, auntie’s probably really sick, I got the opening of the store coming up, I need to get the apartment ready for Bee, and you won’t fucking talk to me. How can I understand you if you don’t open your fucking mouth? I don’t even understand myself.” I had started shouting. All the pent up frustration spilled out of me.

“You’re not the only one who’s not been in this situation before. You’re something like a god, and I’m just a stupid human, so the least you could do is explain yourself. I told you, I’m not good at relationships. I never had one before, and of course I had to fall in love with some unearthly… thing, ‘cause everything else would have been what normal people do, and I’m not fucking normal.”

Penny whipped around and grabbed my shoulders hard. I had upset him again, but at least I got a reaction. His fingers dug into my flesh, and his face melted a little.

“I don’t know. I don’t understand. What do you expect?” He shouted, too, and his voice changed with every word, dropping lower and lower.

“You wander into my lair, you won’t leave me the fuck alone, you make me feel all those weird things, and then you expect me to act rationally? Stupid human, that’s why I hate your fucking species so much. So self-important.” Drool sprayed all over me, and our angry faces got closer and closer.

“It’s not like I chose to end up with you. You could kill me anytime, but you didn’t do it, so sorry for still being around.”

“Yeah, because it’s my fault I can’t, right. You were the one who showed me all those new things. I was perfectly fine before. I could wake up, feed and have some fun here, then go to hibernation again. Everything was just fine.”

“Oh yeah, that’s why you were awake when I found you ten years ago. That’s why you were scared out of your wits by a little girl.”

“I should just eat you and be done.” His face ripped in half, the familiar tunnel of shark teeth opened before me, just an inch away from my nose.

“Then just do it.”

And this time, he did.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 27

Warning: GORE, violence, harsh language, fluff

This was what he was meant to do. Despite his feeble human body, all his senses were on high alert. The bottomless anger of his prey tickled his nostrils and made his mouth water. A brief glimpse into their thoughts had been enough to trigger his lust for the hunt. There was just so much to draw inspiration from – broken lives begging to be ended.

He might have let them get away, just as he had done so often over the last months, if they hadn’t turned their criminal thoughts to his girl. He had seen what they wanted to do to her – it made their actions towards the previous owner of the store seem like child’s play.

For a fleeting moment his attention turned back to the energy that had scared him so much, but it hadn’t moved any closer. In fact, it was still at the same place, and his prey moved steadily away under his lead. Of course they didn’t know he was taking them into solitude and darkness. Just a couple of words had been enough to anger them and turn their attention towards him, just as he had come to expect from foolish humans. They were too drunk to walk steadily, but their anger gave them the energy to follow him regardless.

Penny turned down another street and finally reached the deserted shore of the Kenduskeag. It was too cold for the usual array of couples and prostitutes, just as he liked it. He came to a halt and turned around slowly. And there they were, like the obedient stupid filthy creatures they were, ready to become his meal. Oh, the multitude of choices to make – should he devour them then and there? Entrap them and keep them for later? Take them to his lair and have fun? The second option was probably the better one, considering that at least one of his enemies was in town. Less suspicious.

They stumbled closer, brandishing their ridiculous knifes like that Bowers boy he used to toy with. If he set them upon his enemy, would they take care of them? Or would they fail? It didn’t matter, Penny was hungry. Better to eat them and then think of something.

Another quick scan gave Penny his first idea. How convenient of one of them to fear drowning and one of them to fear squids.

Squids.

How pathetic.

How human.

Of course not any old squid would do. It had to be something big, with milky blind eyes across all its tentacles, a huge beak he could click menacingly, and wonderfully cold and slimy skin. Also, spikes. Spikes never failed to scare humans (except for his little girl) and the additional injuries they created were very useful in further weakening and terrifying his prey. Just for fun he could emit a strong smell of decaying fish and stale water – involving all senses usually gave the best results, and humans tended to forget how powerful any sort of scent could be. Penny started changing, grinning until his mouth morphed. As a finishing touch he added tiny sharp teeth to his suckers.

His prey had stopped dead in its tracks. One of them peed himself, the other dropped his knife.

“What the fuck, bro…”

Determined to not listen to their disgusting voices any further, he shot his long tentacles forward and grabbed them, squeezing hard enough to rob them of their breath. His suckers drew blood and the ecstasy of that brief taste almost made him lose control. But he restrained himself, and dragged his body to the canal. The river allowed him to travel much faster.

Surely he could have just warped himself to his lair, but where was the fun in that? The water entered the lungs of his prey, slowly drowning them. They tried to fight, the one who still had his knife even attempted to slice himself free, but the alcohol and the shock of the cold made them weak.

Not that they would have had a chance in the first place.

He could taste their panic rise, making their blood sweeter and sweeter and giving him more and more strength.

Despite being completely out of practice, he had planned his water ride perfectly. By the time they reached his lair, the two men were almost dead – but not enough to not be brought back by some more horror. To entertain himself just a little further, he changed into one of their former victims and started jerkily moving towards them. The sight of them trying to recover from their ride enough to crawl away was something that never failed to excite him. His female form only allowed him to move slowly, though. They had violated her so much her body had lost its shape, with her broken bones making her extremities stick out in weird angles. They had also almost flayed her skin off with their knifes.

A brief memory rose in his mind, a memory of his precious girl having her clothes and skin dangling off of her.

Rage welled up inside of him and swallowed his restraint. With a roar his body changed again, this time into his spider self, and he tore into his first victim. His chelicerae dug into its belly, ripping it open. The intestines spilled to the ground, and the twitching body fell into them. Penny didn’t hear it, nor did he hear the screams of the other man. Again he struck, this time tearing of a leg. Blood, flesh and bits of gut covered his head and body. His other victim had composed itself enough to run away. In a flash Penny was behind the man, slamming him to the ground and using one of his large hairy legs to hold him down. He used his pedipalps to pick up the mangled remains of the man he had attacked first.

Surprisingly, he was still alive, although barely so. That made eating him all the more enjoyable. As Penny bit off his head, the blood sprayed everywhere, especially in the face of the man he still held down.

He originally had planned to keep some leftovers for later, but once he started, his ravenous hunger didn’t allow him to stop. Soon, there was not a single shred left, and, for the first time in decades, Penny felt a little full. He had changed back into his clown form, resting in the crater his impact had created eons ago. The familiar sleepiness after every meal slowly crept up, but it felt slightly different from before. He couldn’t understand why.

Had it not been glorious?

Had he not longed to once more strike terror into the hearts of men?

Their fear had made him feel like his former strong, invincible self again, as he had been fifty-four years ago, before those insolent kids had found him. Now, at least one of them was back in Derry. It had been so long he wasn’t sure which one it was – they had to be at least sixty-five years old, and they surely had changed over the years. Also, hadn’t the energy been much weaker? Wasn’t that the reason why he hadn’t picked it up earlier? A strange emotion overcame him.

It was… relief.

Penny watched as his trembling hands became still once more. He hadn’t realized just how tense he had been, and it made him furious at himself. After all he was the devourer, the curse of that feeble human world, a god of fear and pain, way above those pathetic humans.

Except for one.

The mental image of his girl obliterated all other thoughts, and his body reacted immediately. Gone was the fatigue, gone was the fear, and gone was the triumph he had just felt. Instead another need drove him mad, much more powerful than his hunger had been. It had been several days since they had mated, and his body craved hers more than it craved further food.

That realization surprised him. He couldn’t fathom what had caused that change, nor understand it. She had been so tired, busy with that stupid human enterprise of hers, her face becoming gaunt once more. Penny didn’t want to rob her of her much needed rest, so he had satisfied himself with watching her sleep in his arms. She looked so tiny, so fragile, yet utterly comfortable. Just like so many times before he had wondered whether she truly understood just how easily he could kill her if he desired.

But he didn’t desire it anymore. At first only the lack of excitement she gave him had kept her safe. Now she had made both of them addicts to the pleasure of their bodies. He thought back to the last time they had sex. The urge to fill her entire body, every inch of her with him had so easily overpowered him, making him forsake any restraint. Afterwards Penny had been afraid he had done too much, that he had hurt her, injured her.

Curious, considering he had just attempted to eat her only moments before – another situation he still didn’t understand as well. She had tasted only of herself, and he had been determined to follow through with devouring her, just to be rid of the confusion and the uncertainty. But when his true self, the deadlights, had attempted to absorb her soul, something went wrong. There had been an echo of himself in her, an echo that in turn resonated inside himself. He couldn’t do it, and he would never be able to.

She was his, but apparently he was hers as well.

Even the thought of a mere human holding such power over himself no longer disturbed Penny the way it had before his ill-fated attempt to snack on her.

His desire arose once more, and Penny decided to look for her. Surely enough time had passed. She would be home in her bed, and he would pull off her panties so he could plunge his tongue into her, taste her, as she twitched and moaned for him...

A sudden realization shook him to his core.

He had left her at her store, left her in the possible presence of his arch enemy.

What if they knew she was his? What if they did something to her?

He had thought he feared his enemy. He had thought he knew true fear.

But that was nothing compared to the panic he now felt.

He leaped up and flew through the night, rushing as he had never done before. Within a heartbeat that still felt like an eternity he had arrived at her house and saw her window was open. He jumped through it, prepared for the worst –

And was greeted by warm arms that curled around him. His precious girl crushed herself into him, crying desperately. Penny picked her up, nuzzling his nose against the soft spot of her neck, and breathed in deeply. Her scent washed away all the anguish, and her familiar bony frame calmed his racing heart. She buried her fists in his hair in what he presumed was an attempt to hold him even closer.

“Penny, you’re here, you’re okay…” She repeated the words like a prayer, only interrupted by her own sobs.

“I am, I am. What is wrong? Did they hurt you?” Though he didn’t smell any blood, he still tried to look at her body to make sure she was uninjured. But she refused to let go, and he didn’t want her to hurt herself.

“I was so worried you’d get hurt and disappear. I thought they’d gotten to you.” Her voice broke again, a sound that wounded him deeply. “And your phone was dead, and I couldn’t reach you…”

Fuck, he had completely forgotten about the toy she had given him. Now that she had mentioned it he felt the weight in his pocket, but he was pretty sure that the battery had been empty for some days.

She looked up, her hauntingly large eyes overflowing with tears. He licked them away, over and over again, until she finally let out something between a hiccup and a chuckle.

“You’re tickling me.”

“I know.” Penny gave her his most dazzling smile, all gleaming teeth, and she leaned against him with a sigh.

“What do we do about the people who’re trying to hurt you?” Her voice was full of determination. His girl was ready to fight for him, and his body reacted immediately. The yearning was back full force.

“I don’t know yet.”

“You said you’ve encountered them before, right? What’s your hibernation cycle again? Twenty years or something like that?

“Twenty-seven years, to be exact.”

“So they must be at least over fifty-five years old now, right?”

He nodded.

“That doesn’t sound like there’s too much they should be able to do now. They’re not exactly the youngest anymore.”

“Age isn’t important. They were kids when they first nearly killed me.” He couldn’t help shuddering.

“Well, I guess, you shouldn’t come into Derry in the meantime. I think our house should be safe, since we’re very much at the outskirts, but it would be better if we don’t risk you running into one of them.”

He knew what she said was rational, but he didn’t like it at all. It would mean less time together with her. As if she’d read his thoughts she sighed.

“Guess I’ll have to work out a schedule to sneak into the sewers again, huh. By the way, what happened to the two dudes you were with?”

Penny swallowed. His girl knew technically what he was, but he still wasn’t sure how she’d react if he told her. The silence expanded, lasting way too long to be broken. Finally, she put her hands on his cheek.

“Did you eat them?”

Penny didn’t want to look at her. What if she’d turn away in disgust? Somehow his feast seemed much less glorious all of a sudden. He nodded.

“They were bad people?”

He nodded again, and another long silence followed. Jumbled thoughts ran through his mind. Was she put off? Would she no longer be his?

What would he do if she no longer wanted him?

At last, she spoke, and her words pierced the core of his existence.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 25

Warning: Harsh language, violence

His jaws closed around me, swallowing me whole. Powerful muscles moved me further down his throat, driving my body against the myriad of teeth that sliced my skin. Pitch black darkness consumed me. As I was moved further and further down that fleshy tube, it didn’t stay dark, though; through the pain I noticed some sort of light slowly approaching me. In the emerging twilight I could see the little tentacles sprouting around me, eagerly sucking up the blood gushing from my open wounds. After several heartbeats, the light source finally came into my view, and I forgot everything around me, even the pain.

Three fiery, rotating orbs slowly approached me. They circled around each other in a mesmerizing dance, spinning faster and faster as they came closer. Their glow reflected off the yellowish teeth and the slimy pink flesh, casting a whirlwind of dancing shadows and rainbow reflections along their path.

It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever beheld.

The orbs radiated an incomprehensible otherworldliness that would have certainly frightened the living shit out of me if I had been able to be afraid. Distant cries and screams echoed all around me; however, I only perceived peace – it reminded me so much of my dream, when I had been engulfed in that warm, glowing bubble.

Finally.

I didn’t even notice the grin spreading across my face, nor the taste of my own blood in my mouth. Meanwhile the orbs where spinning so fast they melted into a fiery ring, ever growing before me, until it was big enough to fit all around me. When they reached me, I closed my eyes, perfectly at peace for the first time. I felt their touch on my face, an electric jolt of enormous proportions, and gave myself up as they flowed through the tears in my skin, burning their way into my core.

_____________________________________________________________

Of course, it wasn’t over – why would it ever be? The sensation only lasted for a heartbeat; then I was violently jerked backwards. The lights disappeared from my sight with superhuman speed, whilst the iron hard muscles crushed me as they pushed me backwards through the tube of flesh and teeth. That also meant the pain was back, the teeth not only slicing my skin, but digging deeper and further into me, slashing into my muscles, whilst the tentacle-like suckers writhed as if in extreme agony.

Fortunately it didn’t last long – it could only have been a few seconds – and I was spat out unto the cold concrete. The sensation of the hard ground and the freezing air came as an utter shock after the tranquility before.

A familiar wail filled the air. Disoriented and half-blind with blood and saliva, I crawled towards it, until my hands found the silk ruffles. I buried myself in them and felt them close around me, engulfing me in cool softness. Nestled deeply in the fabric, I was dimly aware of being moved at a ridiculous speed.

My eyes were still crusted with fluids, and the shock of what had happened left me only half aware of my surroundings. My nostrils and my ears worked just fine, however; and a familiar scent soon filled my nose. Together with the sloshing sounds it told me where I was – back in the Derry sewer system.

Home at last.

My broken body was gently lowered on a soft surface, and something warm and very wet washed over my face. Again and again it touched me ever so gently, until I could feel the grime and crust dissolve. Simultaneously the pain lessened and lessened, until it became more of distant thumping rather than a sharp burning.

The licking sensation now extended to my entire body, washing away all discomfort. I sighed and opened my eyes.

Penny loomed over me, his clown features barely recognizable beneath layers of my blood. His eyes had turned the deepest shade of orange I’d ever seen, but he didn’t radiate any aggressive energy. He was quite busy licking every inch of me, and his saliva had already closed most of the wounds, leaving only pink lines criss-crossing all over my skin. The tattered, crusty remains of my clothes were the only left-overs from his attempt to eat me.

I was still very much in shock – not from fear, but from being exposed to the unforgiving world after that tranquil place. Being born must feel the same way, I thought to myself. My hands reached out on their own, cradling Penny’s cheeks against them. His face slowly spilled out from between my fingers, and I sat up to pull him closer to me, to contain his melting form between my thin limbs. He was so big and there was so much of him; how could I possibly succeed? Still, I couldn’t NOT try to; even if I did my body wouldn’t have listened to me either way.

Between the aftereffects of the shock, the numerous substances I was covered in and Penny not having a solid form, I only realized after a while that the liquid running over my hands was neither saliva nor blood.

Penny was crying.

So was I, I discovered.

Like so many times before, I couldn’t tell in hindsight how long we stayed like this. Only when the feeling in my body was back to somewhat normal I dared to speak again.

“Are you alright?” It was a poor, pathetic attempt to tell him how worried I was, how much he meant to me, how sorry I was.

“I don’t know.” His voice echoed the same confusion I felt, somehow magnifying it because it was Pennywise who said it.

“Why… Why didn’t you eat me?”

No answer, though I felt it was because he truly didn’t know.

I tried a different approach.

“What were those lights?” Since Penny remained silent, I added: “They were so beautiful.”

His huge frame started twitching, and I realized he tried to get his form together. At last his eyes focused on me.

“Those lights… They are me. My true form.”

I traced my finger across his cheeks, gently stroking them.

“Well, I always thought you were handsome. So when they… when you touched me… What happened?”

Penny’s gaze drifted away, but I was sure he was only gathering his thoughts. After a while he sat up and cradled me against his chest.

“I don’t understand it, little one. Normally, seeing me… my true self… would kill you. You’d die of fear, and I’d absorb you soul and digest your flesh. But when I touched you, I couldn’t absorb you. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t; physically, if you will. And then all your emotions flooded into me.”

It took me a while to process that new information. I had always thought my lack of fear only meant he wouldn’t enjoy my taste, that eating me would be equivalent to forcing down some disgusting vegetables or something; not that it would make him throw up. What had been the most wonderful experience for me had made him sick.

I had made him sick.

“Am I… dangerous for you?”

“I don’t know, little one. Are you?” Though he cackled at the question, I could tell he was honestly wondering.

“I could never intentionally hurt you. I’m sorry for what I said before. I was frustrated.”

Penny reply was slow, as if he was testing out the words that left his mouth.

“I believe so was I, little one. I’ve never, in all the eons I’ve lived, ever experienced anything like this.”

“So, no one has ever seen your true self… and lived?”

“No…” Penny stopped, and his eye color changed once again, turning dark red.

“There once was a girl… She and her friends nearly killed me.”

I sat up and stared at him. Penny appeared to be just as shocked as I was, though perhaps for other reasons.

“You mean, a human did that to you? That a human was the reason you were so wounded when we first met?”

He nodded, looking away. He’s embarrassed, I realized.

“Wow.” I slouched back against him, wrapping his arms around myself. “No wonder you’d think of me as a threat. But Penny, I love you.” Again, the English language failed me in trying to convey my feelings. Still, he seemed to understand, because he rested his head on top of mine and sighed heavily.

“I love you too, little one. And I don’t want to eat you. Not because you’re not delicious, but because I don’t want to you to not be around.”

I chuckled at his curious way to express himself. Fortunately I wasn’t the only one struggling with words.

“So, where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know.”

We sat in silence, both pondering what had happened between us. Finally, I found I couldn’t stand the uncertainty any longer.

“So, we need to address three things, right? Firstly; your hunger – you haven’t fed since you woke up, right? Secondly, my life and my schedule – I got the opening coming up, I got Bee moving in and I need to finish school. Thirdly, our future together – whether you’ll go into hibernation again, and what I’ll do then.”

I could feel his nod, and finally, it was accompanied by merry bells jingling again. I had my Penny back.

“Until then, let’s take it one day at a time, okay?”

Again, he nodded; again, the bells jingled. I twisted around and pulled his head towards me. “In the meantime, why don’t we enjoy each other?” His low purr was answer enough. I closed my eyes and opened myself to him.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 22 (smut)

Warning: harsh language, violence

Right before Penny crashed into me, my foot slipped on the misted floor and I tumbled down, unable to steady myself in time. Pennywise crashed into the sink with enough force to bounce back over me. I hit my head pretty hard, and was momentarily stunned. The clown lost no time, pinning me down easily with one hand, while his jaw started to morph into the protruding abyss of sharp teeth. Unable to do anything, I watched as he spread my numb legs wide apart and tore into me.

A thousand sharp needles dug into my soft skin, punching holes into my lower abdomen, my inner thighs and my pussy. Penny started sucking immediately, going so hard I could feel parts of my skin tear between the wounds. Still dizzy and unable to move my limbs, I tried to look at the huge shape bent over me. His face had lost all resemblance to anything human. His eyes, which had turned a glowing burgundy, loomed over the sides of his head, his nose was entirely gone, and his jaws closed entirely around my abdominal area. In fact, my brain gave me the image of a gigantic deep-sea creature, the ones they don’t show kids because they might induce nightmares.

At that point my strength left me, and I went completely limp, unable to even access my eyeballs. My lids shut themselves, and a calming blackness approached me. I still could feel his tongue wiggling into me, trying to get to the source of my menstrual blood. It almost felt like his tongue had somehow grown hungry little mouths itself, grazing the surface of my womb for every bit of blood possible. But the pain drifted further and further away, until I no longer was aware of anything around me.

 I woke up to the strangest sight. Pennywise was still sucking on me, his face even more deformed, but something had changed. His eyes had lost all color, and there was something… desperate about him. I tried to sit up, but was immediately hit by another wave of nausea. Also, my head hurt horribly. Still, I managed to get into a sitting position, and weakly put my hands on the remnants of his hair. The skin beneath them had turned a scaly brown, and his body had somehow deflated.

I tried to speak, but nothing but a horse croak came out of my mouth. I feebly pushed against his head, not expecting any great results, but with a wet, slopping sound his mouth peeled off my lower body. It was completely lax and slopped unto the floor while his tongue was still buried in my womb.

It wiggled slowly from side to side, somehow desperate to remain within me, but just like the rest of Penny it seemed to lose its strength. Finally, his tongue slid out of me, curling up into a moist red tube. An eerie, whaling sound filled the clouded air. It sounded oddly distant in the mist, yet I knew exactly where it came from. With all my might I struggled to raise my arms further, willing them forward inch by inch, until I was finally able to hug Pennywise. His form oozed out from over- and underneath my arms.

What had happened?

What had I done?

A pain I hadn’t known before shot through me and gave me the control over my body back. I wrapped my legs around him a well in an attempt to contain all of him between my limbs.

We stayed like this for what felt like an eternity. Penny’s cries eventually subsided, and the only sounds audible were my heartbeat and my breath. After a while I nuzzled my face into the gooey sack he had become, caressing him like a wounded child. The dizziness faded, and all I was left with was one hell of a headache, but I didn’t care. My attention was solely focused on Pennywise, on that god-like horror master, who lay in my arms shivering. Sometime later, when he appeared to be more solid, I gently picked up his tongue and put it back into his mouth. It still had the little tentacle-like suckers protruding, but they appeared to be no longer… alive.

Still, Penny was able to keep his tongue in his mouth, and I noticed his eyes had shifted more to the center of his former face. They stared at me, a little more silverish than before, in an incredibly upset way. Not exactly sure of what I was doing, I gently placed a kiss on the spot that used to be his forehead, and started cradling him. I hummed a little melody from an Anime series (I had entirely forgotten the name, but the melody had been stuck in my head all the time) and kept stroking him.

When he finally started to move I felt like crying. He slowly retracted himself from my embrace, and in doing so morphed back to the clown figure I had come to love. Though he appeared to be struggling very much with doing so, he still managed to sit up and, in turn, cradled me against his chest.

“I’m sorry, little one”, he whispered.

“Don’t be”, I managed and buried my face against his shoulder.

I still struggled to understand what had happened, but I was not the only one. I could still feel him shiver, and when I looked up his face seemed to be overwhelmed with showing his emotions.

“Penny, are you okay?”

Silence.

“You’re not hurt, are you?”

Still no answer.

“Penny, I love you. Please tell me what’s going on”, I begged.

Several minutes passed before he answered me.

“You’re hurt.”

“Never mind that. What happened to you? You were… goo. I thought you died on me.” My hoarse voice broke on the last words. I sounded like some fucking orc.

“I… don’t know. You smelled so good… And I was hungry.”

He hugged me so tight I was unable to breathe, holding on to me like I was the only thing that could keep him here, in this reality.

“I ate the animal meat you gave me, and I’ve been hungry for so long.”

“So you were in a sort of feeding frenzy?”

He shrugged, and the movement together with his tight embrace lifted me up several inches.

“Did I taste good, at least?”

He grabbed me by my shoulders and held me at arm’s length to get a good look at my face. His eyes had turned a dark purple shade. It was a color I had never seen before in my life. Dots of light appeared in his iris, slowly rotating. It was a hypnotizing sight.

“You are delicious”, he rumbled. “But I could never eat you.”

I stared at him. Had he actually just said that?

He continued to hold my gaze, the dots rotating so fast they turned into fiery rings. I was sure that those rings were a gateway into another world, just like the wormholes on the old sci-fi series.

“I won’t eat you”, he repeated, his voice becoming more steady. “I won’t allow anything to happen to you. And I won’t allow me to hurt you either.”

I clutched at him and anxiously dug my nails into him, afraid of what he was implying.

“Don’t you dare leave me again!”, I rasped as loud as I could. “I can’t deal with this world on my own! I need you. I love you. I can’t feel without you!”

We stared at each other in desperation.

The silence continued until a dripping noise interrupted it. I tore my eyes away from Penny and saw my menstruation was far from over.

“I’m sorry, Penny, I need to get this cleaned up.”

His eyes flashed red for a second, but he nodded.

“I shouldn’t help you with that, sorry”, he mumbled.

I got up on shaky legs, but I found myself able to move without nausea, and set to clean the floor and myself. Fortunately auntie had a habit of hiding the little jewelry she had in a box of tampons, and I simply borrowed one of them. Penny had withdrawn himself into my room, and I made sure that there wasn’t a single drop of blood left on me before I entered.

It sucked to have my period back – I had forgotten how intense the cramps could get, and I had honestly no clue how Penny and I were supposed to deal with it. Penny obviously wasn’t “safe” around me while I bled, and it hurt him to know that. Furthermore I would really have to worry about protection from now on, though I didn’t even know if I could get pregnant from him.

With all this whirling around in my head I went back into my room only to find Penny in his human form sitting on my bed. I went straight to him and clasped his hands. At least I tried to, but mine were just so much smaller than his he ended up curling his around mine. A troubled smile appeared on his luscious lips, but the lines on his forehead didn’t fade at all.

“You know, I’m still not afraid of you”, I teased him, and kissed him briefly.

“I know”, he sighed. “But I don’t know what I might do to you. I don’t like this sensation.”

I tried to make light of the situation, both for his and my sake.

“Well, it’s not like we can just ask anybody, right? We’re no ordinary couple, no sir. Imagine auntie’s face when I come up to her and ask her for relationship advice on me and my horror-clown-shapeshifter. It would probably give her a heart-attack.”

He just stared at me, his handsome features locked in discomfort.

“Also, she might be upset about your nutritional choices. And the fact that I don’t care.”

After that also failed to receive a reaction, I just sat down on his knee and kissed him as slowly as I managed to without ravaging him right there. At least he kissed me back, and soon his hands wandered down my back and raised the familiar goose bumps.

“We’ll get through this”, I gasped in between kisses, but the words felt empty. Isn’t it amazing how language can be so unable to express your feelings? The sensation of believing in something so strongly everything else seems to fade, the attraction to someone else that consumes your thoughts and leaves you both weak and yet full of power, and the desperation that either breaks you to pieces or makes you discover a strength you never even considered possible.

All those things I was unable to say with my words I communicated with my body. Our tongues entwined, probing each other’s mouths, while our hands sought to bring us as close together as possible. It was an entirely new sensation to feel Penny in his human disguise. Instead of steel cables covered in silk I tore of his clothes to feel smooth skin over well-formed muscles, betraying the strength within his slim frame. And where he would normally touch me with his cool gloves warm hands slid over my hips and my breasts.

Suddenly the tension between us changed. An slight air of desperation that had been there before turned into a full storm. It left us clutching at each other with so much force it almost hurt. Our teeth grinded together as our kisses became increasingly deeper and anxious, and I could no longer wait for him. I grabbed his dick to reposition it, and with one swift thrust he was inside me.

He may not have been as big as in his clown form, but I came instantly nonetheless. I wrapped my legs around him while my body shook and closed the last little space between us. There was no time to relax or get accustomed to him; instead his thrust were so quick and hard I was moved around on the mattress. I dug my teeth into his lower lip, and in response his fingernails clawed my back. Moans escaped both him and me, and with one final forceful thrust he shuddered and came, triggering my second orgasm simultaneously.

All of this must have happened within five minutes or less, but it was the most intense sensation I had ever experienced. The desperation had subsided, but was not gone. Penny had collapsed on me, but his arms stayed firmly around me, as did mine. We both shuddered in the afterglow, the force of our lust dissipating only slowly.

I clung to him while tears seeped into my eyes.

“I don’t care about being human, Penny.”

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 20 (light fluff)

Warning: harsh language, violence

I had just arrived at the hospital when my phone rang. I turned it off without looking, being in a hospital, and all, which was a very stupid mistake. I visited Bee and sat with her for an hour, talking about this and that, and left her in a much better state than she had been in yesterday. There had been no news from the police (and I very much doubted they’d be actually able to catch the culprits), but she didn’t seem to care too much.

“It’s not the first time I start over, you know”, she had said, and given me one of her mischievous smiles.  But she still got drowsy pretty quickly from the meds, so I didn’t have a guilty consciousness when I left her that early.

When I started my phone I saw I had about 35 missed calls from Penny. I phoned him back, but apparently he didn’t have a signal. He had just written me a message that he was in the cistern. I headed there as fast as I could, and arrived at the place where it all started covered in dirt (because of course I had to slip a couple of times), with gashes all over my arms and faces (hugged some trees too) and completely out of breath.

As soon as I could I screamed for him, increasingly worried something might have happened to him. My voice echoed through the large cistern, jumping between the piles of junk, and mingled with the clouds of white breath as I kept on huffing. I didn’t see him, but once the echo died out I heard noises behind the huge pile in the middle of the cistern. Relieved, I started to make my way over the discarded items, shifting them around to avoid tripping once more. But, once I got to the other side, there was no one there.

“Pennywise?”, I shouted again. Still, there was no answer, but the noises grew louder. I turned toward the garbage mountain, and briefly noticed a large wooden screen. It bore fading letters and a portrait, but before I could read them it fell forwards, revealing a stage with some fiery backgrounds. Merry organ music started to play and fireworks went off, adding their own rhythm to the creepy melody. And then he jumped on the stage, dancing around while his eyes looked crazier than I ever had seen them before. He cackled and giggled, shaking his head, waving at me, and performed some sort of jig. Faster and faster did the music play, faster and faster he went.

Then he lunged at me.

“Penny, are you okay?”, I managed to gasp as he picked me up and started  swinging us around in a tempo that could rival any roller coaster.

He laughed in my ear. “Don’t you know I’m the dancing clown?”

“Well, that’s how you introduced yourself to me…”

He only stopped briefly to gently place me on my old favorite spot, before he took up jumping around like crazy. Of course he splashed me from head to toe. By now he was going so fast he almost seemed to blur.

“What’s the matter with you? Are you sure you are okay?” I mean, he was laughing and all, but there definitely was something else going on.

“I am lightning, I am speed. I am everything you need”, he sang with a cracking, high-pitched voice, once more increasing his pace. “Try to catch me; no, you won’t. Now you see me, now you…”

All of a sudden he was gone.

“Don’t!”

Before I could react his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me so hard I could no longer breathe, and hurled me around once more. If he kept on going I’d throw up for sure.

“Pennywise! I’m worrying here.”

“My little human pet is worrying, how cuuuuuu~te!”

“Was it that meat I gave you? Are you having some sort of allergic reaction to it?”

“Oh, it was boooooring. But eadible. But booooooring!”

“Okay, well, please let me down then, I’m gonna…”

Too late.

But it made him stop, and he steadied me while I was retching.

“My poor baby’s sick”, he crooned, “Pennywise was bad, Pennywise must be punished.”

I would have loved to tell him to stop that nonsense, but my mouth was still busy with other things. I couldn’t even shake my head. He kept on blaming himself, and the minute I was done he started running around again, rambling about proper punishments.

“There’s no need for any of that”, I assured him. “Just tell me why you are so jittery. I’m worried it might from some stuff in the meat (it’s not exactly high quality). Have you ever had problems with junkies?” He technically hadn’t confirmed that he actually ATE humans, but I was 99.9 percent sure he did, so there was no point sugarcoating it.

He shook his head so quickly I could see nothing but a red streak.

“Nonono, never had a problem. I’m fast. I’m superfast. I’msofastmygirldoen’tevenunderstandhaha…” He spoke so fast his words slurred together until his speech resembled a monotone hum.

“Well, did you like it, then? Are you less hungry?”, I interrupted.

“Hunger never goes away, little one.” His eyes flashed yellow as he stared at me.

“Well, what else could it be?”

“I don’t know what you mean. I’m just reallyfastreallyreallyfast…”

Here we go again. By now he was shifting forms again, and it was fascinating to watch. Tentacles blossomed on his face, which in turn grew thorns as they slithered all around him. Fins in all colors popped up.  His hands changed to furry claws, only to be replaced by pinchers in the next second. He grew extra legs that suddenly became skinny wings. It was absolutely mesmerizing and distracted me for several minutes.

But when he trampled over the empty white boxes, I was reminded of the problem at hand. An idea crossed my mind.

“Penny, could it be… that the mocca was too strong for you?”

He stopped dead, the horns slowly retracting into his forehead again.

“Nononono. Impossible. It was delicious.”

“You just had one, though, right? I mean, caffeine shouldn’t have so much impact on you…”

My voice trailed away as I stared at Penny. He had cast down his eyes and a little wrinkle had formed between the two indentions that replaced his eyebrows. He definitely looked guilty.

I mustered all my strength, straightened my back and asked him with the severest voice I could muster: “Pennywise? What did you do while I was at the hospital?”

He mumbled something.

“A little louder, please.”

“I went back to that room…”

“And?”

“Had more?”

I stared at him. He had actually gone back to the coffee shop? What had he done to the employees? And how did he pay? In response a hundred-dollar-bill appeared in his hands.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

He held out the bill to me, and I took it. It looked, felt and smelled like real money to me. The cistern started spinning around me.

Penny was able to produce money.

What. The. Heck.

Something like a whimper escaped his mouth. He very much reminded me of a puppy that had been caught doing something forbidden.

“I had another 40”, he finally admitted.

I had to clutch at the junk next to me to keep myself steady.

“YOU DRANK 40 CUPS OF MOCCHA!?”

He just nodded, quick enough to once more blur into a red streak.

“Jeez, you do realize that you would be in hospital now if you were human, do you?”

I pressed my hands into my temples. Apparently immortals do not differ that much from us after all. Pennywise just had a real bad caffeine high.

“Okay, listen, that’s the caffeine from the coffee. That’s why we drink it in the first place – it gives you energy and wakes you up. That’s why you feel so… fast, do you understand?” I sighed. “There’ll be no other choice then to wait till the effects wear off.”

He nodded, looking slightly relieved I was no longer yelling at him.

So I spent the next two hours in the cistern with a Pennywise on speed (well, not exactly). He continued jumping around, dancing and singing. (Something about blood on the streets, and yummy kids, and about coming to get me – I didn’t listen to intently.) At least he didn’t spin me around again, but he came up to cuddle for several seconds before running off to use his extra energy. He rearranged some piles of the junk (meaning he turned into different creatures and wrecking through them), tried playing one of the games on my phone, asked me to read to him, and then, when I finally found a book amongst the trash, he was running around again.

It was exhausting, and not really in a good way either.

When he finally seemed to calm down for a bit, I invited him over to my house. Auntie wouldn’t come home till midnight, so there was no worrying about a second take on the embarrassing morning  meeting. Penny was really eager to hang out in my room again, and so we were on our way.

By the time we reached our little house ( he had assumed his human form again, though very grudgily), the last effects wore off. He collapsed on my bed, not exactly changing form, more like slowly melting out of it, and sighed.

“I think I’m dying, little one.”

“No, you’re not. That’s just the caffeine going away. You’re probably very tired now”, I chided gently. He looked at me sadly, entirely unconvinced this wouldn’t be the end of his existence. I cuddled up next him and started stroking his cheek.

“But that’s a good way to die”, he purred and leaned into my hand.

“You’re not dying, silly, You can’t, right? You are a part of Derry.”

I wasn’t exactly sure where that came from, but it just felt true. Penny closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around me. In the warmth of his embrace I drifted away into comforting darkness.

The next chapter will be a long one, I promise!

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A long overdue update

Jeez, have three years really passed?

It's been a while, and I don't want anyone stumbling across this to be bored with the mundane details of what I've been doing. Let's just say I've got my life a little bit more together.

I had forgotten about this account, but I recently went through my old files and found AGPTD, and I do want to finish it.

I haven't done much writing since 2018, but I've found a new joy and fondness for this clusterfuck, and since finishing projects is my goal for 2021, this is what I'll be doing. I don't know how frequently I'll be able to post, but, nonetheless, this story will be done.

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Agptd Update/questions for you

So, I'm about to start working on the next chapters. Would you want the next one to be a Pennywise-POV?

Also, thanks again for all your likes, rebloggs and messages. Feel free to ask me any questions you have, and also feel free to send me feedback! Both positive and negative are very welcome! I'm still very unsure while I'm writing (I tend to be hypercritical of my own work), and would appreciate your suggestions to keep improving.

In the meantime, enjoy your weekend and keep floating ~*🎈👻🎈*~

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A good place to die Chapter 23

Warning: harsh language, violence

It was true. In an exceptional lucid moment I realized I just didn’t care about being human. I certainly had become much more humane, in a sense, but I also knew I would never quite get there entirely. I didn’t care too much about other people – except for auntie and Bee, of course – and I obviously didn’t really object to Penny feeding on them. Basically, just the knowledge of the consequences it might harbor for me or auntie, and the questions disappearing people might raise, where the main reasons I had when I stopped him from going after Yaneesha.

I still pitied her for what she had brought upon herself, but that was the end of my emotional rope. No wonder I had bonded with Pennywise – we had probably more in common than the average person on the street and me. I let my shaking hands wander about Penny’s back freely, and was rewarded by a low purr. When  I finally managed to look into his eyes (those stunningly human eyes, that barely betrayed the eternal being behind them) I could see he clearly had a moment, too.

We didn’t talk for the rest of the night, we just lay in my bed with our arms securely locked around one another. Eventually I could hear the door downstairs, and auntie’s tired footsteps. She didn’t even bother to check in on me, and just went straight to bed. Shortly after that I dozed away.

My dream that night was very outlandish and confusing to me. I relived bits and pieces of the time with I spent with Penny, while simultaneously watching everything like a movie. The longer it kept going, the stronger the feeling of being watched grew in me. I became exceedingly uncomfortable while I experienced the most beautiful memories I had once more – it felt wrong, unreal. Like I was some sort of puppet in a theatre. I tried to say something, to make Penny aware of what was going on, but I was incapable to do so.

I had no control over myself.

The moment I came to that conclusion several things happened: all the noise suddenly died, and a deafening silence engulfed me; a sudden burst of fog swallowed the people surrounding me one by one, until even Penny’s silhouette was no longer by my side; and the feeling of being watched turned into a full anxiety attack. I no longer felt like it, I was absolutely sure that there was something else with me. It hounded my every step, and it certainly did draw conclusion from them.

Whatever it was, it certainly didn’t seem to be aggressive towards me (very different from my encounter with Penny), and it also didn’t feel like something malicious. Still, I was very uncomfortable. My breathing sped up and a cold lump formed in my throat, making it harder yet to breath. The hair on my neck stood up while cold sweat trickled down my back. Though I could no longer discern where I was going, or even if there was such a thing as directions and gravity at all, I still felt a very strong need to run away and hide. Even the fog became brighter, as if my eyes had suddenly turned hypersensitive.

And I still couldn’t control my body. It just kept on going, whilst my panic attack screamed and raged inside my head. I no longer breathed, I whimpered and wailed as I marched further into the white nothingness around me. Weird thoughts and distant memories flashed literally before my eyes, cumulating into a sort of maelstrom that threatened to crush my mind. And all the time this invisible presence watched and judged me.

Some of the memories lingered a bit longer before me, others I had buried so deep within me I was surprised to see I still had them. They focused mainly on my early family life, and the abuse I had endured. Practices that would make any horror movie pale in comparison sprang to live before me, meticulously carried out by my “dad”, interrupted by worried questions about Penny’s disappearance. Endless interviews from the medical staff in the clinic took turns with Penny asking me about my species and my daily life. Auntie and Bee appeared, both with worried faces as I sunk against the wall of our kitchen, dizzy and exhausted from not eating for a week straight. Yaneesha hit me before I stood on the mystic sea serpent, blood still dripping from my nose and mouth as the wind rushed past me. Red balloons floated by as my “dad” zipped his trousers, and the smell of popcorn and cotton candy engulfed me.

I couldn’t do this anymore.

I shut myself down, remembering the time before Penny. None of my visions mattered, they belonged to the past that no longer bound me. I had found myself and my love, and I would have to come to terms that outside of our unlikely relationship things would never feel normal or be easy for me. My future was uncertain, one way or another. This knowledge calmed the chaos of my emotions to the point where I no longer really felt anything.

It didn’t matter what happened to me.

The moments I had relived at the beginning of this nightmare were the best of my life, and my own entirely. Even if my invisible stalker would harm me, or end my life, I would still have had those precious moments together with my love. My breathing steadied and my heartbeat slowed down, and I stopped any effort to regain control over my movements. I would have to sit this one out.

The moment I relinquished my feelings my surroundings changed. No longer was I surrounded by overly bright fog; instead, I found myself in what felt like an orb of soft, warm light. There was still no sign of the presence, but the feeling of being observed and judged was gone. Whatever sort of trial this had been, it was over now, and a strange sense of peace came over me.

I was comfortably warm and dry, all traces of sweat gone, and though I still couldn’t hear a thing, the silence no longer bothered me. Breath and heartbeat faded from my perception until they seemed gone, and my limbs slowly dissolved into the warm light. This place had at last turned into a home where I was safe and loved, and while my consciousness started to fade the presence came back and slowly approached me. Dimly I realized that it seemed to be the presence that radiated that feeling of peace and love.

I could stay here and I would no longer know struggle, just love.

Suddenly a pang of sadness surged through me, though I didn’t understand why.

Something… was missing.

This comforting, dulling love… wasn’t enough.

Not for me.

I screamed, my voice booming out from my mouth.

“PENNYWISE!”

The scream burst the bubble around me, collapsing it like a cheap tent in a hailstorm. The fog and the maelstrom came back with full force and tore me away from the place I had just been in, away from the presence, that seemed to almost recoil. With the last bit of my perception I thought it might have actually been an animal, but the fog thickened between us, and I surrendered my consciousness.

  I woke up with a start, drenched in sweat, and my muscles started cramping immediately, as if I had overused them all simultaneously.  Penny was gone, and seconds later my alarm rang. Fighting my own body I got up, silenced it and went straight for a hot shower. The water helped my muscles relax somewhat, but my body still ached all over. Yesterday’s events ran through my head as I watched the water whirling around my toes, and my head and stomach started hurting as if they wanted to punish me for my behavior.

However, I did manage to dress myself, brush my teeth and look somewhat basic when I entered the kitchen. Auntie sat by the table, only a cup of coffee and pills before her. She looked even worse than I felt when she answered my way-too-cheerful “good morning”. While I was fixing myself a sandwich (I wasn’t hungry, but I would need to eat something before taking painkillers) she picked up several different pills and washed them down with the coffee. It was very much unlike her to skip breakfast – she was a firm believer of the “breakfast is the most important meal” mantra.

Auntie sighed as I set down, and started the inevitable lecture.

“You know what I want to talk to you about.”

“I’m sorry for yesterday, auntie. It’s never going to happen again, I swear!”

She nodded, but this wasn’t over just yet.

“I admit, your friend is very charming, but I don’t want him climbing through any windows. That’s just not normal.”

“I know. He swore to me he would never do it again, auntie, and he has apologized for it, too.”

She grabbed my hand and leaned towards me. I could still smell the cold smoke and the fatty stench of the deep-fryer clinging to her hair.

“Listen, girl, you’re the only family I have left. I know this boy means much to you, and he certainly has influenced you in a very positive way, but I still want you to be careful, okay? There’s something… off about him.”

Oh, if you only knew.

I smiled reassuringly, stroking her arm, and replied with the kindest voice I could muster:

“I know, auntie, but I swear to you that he’s no danger to me or to you.”

She let go of me and just nodded, another uncharacteristic move. Normally this battle would have been so much harder. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood up and made her a sandwich too. Mimicking her tone and her gestures I sat the plate down before her and chided her.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, young lady. You’re only going to get up if you clean this plate, and I don’t want no buts, either.”

That at least made her smile a little.

I told her I was going to continue with Mr. Shanks’ apartment, and she insisted she would join me. But when she got up, she stumbled and nearly fell. There was no way I was going to let her come with me in that state, and I told her so pretty harshly.

She didn’t argue back.

I helped her back upstairs and tucked her firmly into bed.

“And I swear, if you show up before 3. p.m., I’ll roll you in the dirt so much you won’t get yourself clean for the next ten years!”

She barely nodded before she was already asleep. Watching her face relax, I sat by her for a while. There was something very wrong with her, and I had no idea what it could be or how to fix it. Her forehead felt cold to the touch, and her breathing was so shallow her chest barely moved. At a loss for what to do I gently petted her head.