#ahh you draw them so prettily c“:

[jessahmewren]

“Bedroom Adventures to Spice Up Your Love Life” / Queen / Bohemian Rhapsody Fan Fiction

Started something new! This will be a series, with pairings flipping like flapjacks (or at least, that’s the idea.  I’m taking suggestions on everything.  I hope you enjoy! :)

Summary: The boys find a sex help book from the Sixties and decide to follow it to the letter.  

Rating: E for you ordered Extra Sauce and I delivered

Pairing: This one is Brian May/John Deacon (Breaky, baby)

Also on AO3

tagging @yeeyeebanana b/c they asked for this LOL <3

-0-0-0-

John biked home from the library, the book tucked safely in his messenger back alongside a beat-up copy of On the Road and an instruction manual on Bonsai training.  He’d always been interested in the art, and since he was working from him now, he had more time. 

He parked his bike in front of his and Brian’s flat, merrily waving to the neighbors and taking the stairs sometimes two at a time.  Finding the little book had put him in a good mood.  He ordered some pizza and plopped down in front of his computer to go through some emails. 

Just company stuff.  John worked IT for a PR firm in London, but recently had accepted a satellite position so he could work at home. 

With that done, he settled on the couch and withdrew the book.  He’d found it in the giveaway bin at the public library, and he couldn’t resist it. Bedroom Adventures to Spice up Your Love Life.  He smiled at the cheesy title and the black and white line drawing of a man and woman on the front cover…the woman in a full skirt and pearls.  He checked the publication date: 1964.  This was going to be good.

John flipped through the book with a cup of tea, and to his surprise it was about role play, and some of the ideas were not half bad.  He closed the cover.  He and Brian were doing this.  They were following this ancient sex manual like a guidebook, just for fun, to see what would happen. 

A quick Google search brought up the author of the book, some psychologist long dead that he’d never heard of.  Sounded legit.

The pizza arrived, and Brian right after. He greeted him with a lingering kiss.  “Mmm, missed you love.” 

 “Missed you too my love.  What have you been up to?” 

“Nothing.  Went to the library.  Checked some email.  Had tea.  Found a sex bible.” 

Brian laughed.  “Found a what now?” 

John smiled, pulling him to the table for pizza.  “Our new sex bible.  We’re going to do everything in it.  It’s going to be fabulousss.” 

Brian laughed.  “Darling you become even gayer when you say fabulous like that,” he said playfully, shoving a piece of pizza in his mouth. 

John smiled.  “I’ve never heard you complain.  Not in, what is it now, two years of marriage?”

“And you never will.” 

--

The next day, John showed him the book.  Brian scoffed.  “John this is from, like, the seventies.” 

“Sixties,” John corrected.  “But it’s quite brilliant.  It’s all about role play.”  He bumped Brian’s hips.  “You’re up for a bit of pretend, aren’t you love?” 

Brian blushed.  “Yeah, I ‘spose.” 

John smiled.  “Ok then.  This first scenario has one of us auditioning for a band, and, according to the book, “the person auditioning makes frequent mistakes and is punished.  Sexual punishments can included but are not limited to spanking, degradation, orgasm denial, whipping, being spat upon while bound –“

“Ok ok, I get the idea.  Holy hell who knew they were so progressive back then.”

John was trying very hard not to laugh at Brian’s discomfort.  “I’ve got my old bass from high school.” He eased up to Brian, playing with the buttons on his shirt.  “Maybe I can play it for you, try to make it in the band.  And when I mess up, well, you can show me how bad I am.”  John looked up at Brian hopefully, his eyes even greener than usual.

Brian blushed.  “Maybe.  Um, how would you like to be punished, though?  I’m not sure—“

“Spanking is fine,” John said easily, taking some of the pressure off of Brian.  “I’ll go get my bass!”

“Wait, right now?!”

“Yes, no time like the present dear!” 

Brian was left waiting in the living room, his arms hanging awkwardly at his sides.  Before he realized it, John was back with his bass, seemingly waiting for him to tell him what to do. 

Brian swallowed, sitting down on the couch.  “Tell me about yourself.” 

“My name is John Richard Deacon, and I was born on August 19th 1991.”  He winced.  “God can I start again?  That was lame.”  Brian nodded, smiling. 

“My name is John,” he said simply. 

Brian gestured to him.  “Play me something John.” 

John plugged up the amp he had lugged from the closet and played a tune, purposefully messing up.  To his credit, he looked rather genuinely nervous.  Brian held up his hand. 

“That will be enough, John.” 

John looked up at him, panic written on his face. 

“That was good, but it wasn’t good enough,” Brian said, gaining confidence with every word.  “I counted several mistakes.” 

John swallowed thickly.  “How many did you count?” 

God his voice sounded small.  Brian was already hard; maybe John has been right about this role play thing. 

“About ten,” he replied, his voice husky.  “So why don’t you come over here and help me count them.” 

John shakily propped his bass against the wall and approached Brian, his whole body shaking with anticipation.  He fumbled with his belt, his fingers slipping more than once. 

Brian caught his hands.  “If you don’t want to do this, it’s ok,” he said reassuringly. 

John squeezed Brian’s hand in reply.  “Bri, I want this so much I’m going to burst out of these jeans if I don’t get them off.”  He laughed nervously.  “Help me?” 

Brian helped him out of his jeans, pulling them down as far as his knees, then his pants, his erection finally springing free.  John gasped at the feeling as Brian put him over his lap, rutting a little as he settled in place. 

It was all suddenly a little much for Brian, and he took several steadying breaths.  He didn’t think he would be as into this as he was, but John’s pretty bum in his face, the way he wiggled in his lap…suddenly his palm itched to touch him. 

“I’m giving you ten slaps to the bum for having a bad audition.  I want you to count after each one.  Are you in agreement with this?” 

“Yess! Just please touch me,” John nearly begged.

Brian drew his arm back, bringing it down roughly to make contact with tender flesh of John’s backside.

“One,” he breathed, “God that feels amazing.  Do it again Bri.  Don’t stop.  Please don’t stop.” 

Brian’s hand was warm where he had spanked him, and a pleasant tingle lingered along the skin of his palm.  He was growing impossibly hard, and he worked his thighs together to seek relief. 

“Two!  Ahh, yes, yes Bri, thank you—“

Brian’s hand cut him off sharply as he cried out again, counting out three, and then four, as Brian kept him breathless and writhing until they finally got to ten, Jon dutifully counting out each one. 

His bum was red and warm to the touch, and Brian smoothed his hand over irritated skin. 

“Did I hurt you love?” 

John crawled off his lap, sliding easily onto his knees in front of Brian.  “No,” he said breathlessly.  “But I think we might need to purchase some sort of cream, if we want to do it again.”

Brian thread his fingers in his hair, pushing his head back.  “Oh we’re doing it again,” he said.  He smoothed a hand down his cheek, and John leaned his face into it and kissed it. 

“Isn’t there anything else I can do to change your mind...about the audition?”

He looked up at Brian with deceptive innocence, green eyes hazy with lust. 

Brian scooted forward, his hand popping the button on his jeans. 

“Show me how much you want it,” he said

John wet his lips, eagerly grabbing at Brian’s fly and working the zipper down.  He had him out was taking him down hungrily before Brian had time to brace himself. 

John had always been good sucking him off, but he couldn’t remember the last time he had been so enthusiastic about taking him down.  The eager little sounds he was making, the way his head was bobbing so prettily, and his hot, wet mouth all had Brian gripping the couch cushions just to keep from fucking up into him. 

John pulled off of him, his eyes glazed, a line of spittle connecting him to Brian.  “Don’t hold back baby,” he said, his voice rough.  “Fuck into me.  Pull my hair.” 

He descended on him again, swallowing him down even further.  Brian was moaning, thrashing about before he grabbed John’s head and tugged, thrusting into his mouth. 

John moaned, saliva dribbling from the side of his mouth.  He thread his fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp before pulling lightly.  John whined, gagging on Brian’s cock before pulling back and taking him down again. 

Brian could feel his orgasm lick low in his belly, tightening and curling its way through his limbs.  John’s eyes rolled back, and he was moaning, the vibration on his cock like a tuning fork, setting fire to his veins.  John was coming in his fist, thrusting into his hand as he sucked him off.

It was all he needed.  Brian came with a jerk, John swallowing him down masterfully.  When he was done, John pulled off of him and placed small kisses along his inner thigh.  He looked up with glazed over eyes.

“So, did I make the cut for the band?” 

Brian laughed, still out of it.  “Yeah, I think so.” 

John crawled up onto the couch and spooned up next to him.  He smiled.  For their first role play, this wasn’t too bad.

-0-0-0-