#alas my german ancestors can only shake their heads and wonder why we decided English was a better language

[demi-queen]

So my brother got a complete book of Brothers Grimm stories (one of the nice ones from Costco), and the first story is called “The Frog-King or Iron Henry,” and it goes something like this:

So there was this princess that was born, who was basically the most beautiful thing in the universe and her favorite thing to play with was this golden ball. One day when she was playing with it by throwing it up into the air and catching it, she missed and it dropped into a well. This well was much too deep for her to get the golden ball back herself, so she started sobbing her eyes out. Then she hears a voice speak, “your tears would make anyone stop to help, what troubles you?” (Or something like that) and she looks up to see a frog. So she explains that her favorite toy, the golden ball, fell into the well and she couldn’t get to it herself. The talking frog then says he can get it for her, as long as she does something for him. So the idiot princess goes “what do you desire? I’ll give you anything- my clothes, my riches, by jewelry, my crown… anything.” And the frog guy goes “I don’t want any of that stuff, all I want is to be your companion, and for you to love me forever. To go with you, to eat from the same table as you, and the same plate as you, etc etc.” Now she really wants this golden ball back, and apparently she wants to go the most convenient route and not ask any of her dad’s servants or anything to help her out, so she goes “fine. Get my ball back, and you will have what you desire.” So the frog gets the golden ball back for her. Unfortunately for him, the princess was never planning on honoring her promise, and she runs off happily with her golden ball, leaving him behind, calling after her to bring him with her. Then, when she and her father are having dinner together, they hear a knock on the door. Apparently princesses open their own doors though, because the princess opens the door and sees the frog standing there. She immediately slams the door in his face in fright, and goes back to her father, who inquired about what that was all about. So she tells him what had happened and he says, “you made a promise, and now you have to keep it. Let him in and do as you promised.” The princess, horrified, goes, “ugh, fine.” And let’s the frog in. She keeps trying to go against her promise, but every time her father makes her abide by the promises she gave. Eventually, she’s ready for bed and the frog is like, “let me sleep in your bed with you.” (Which is pretty creepy) and she just explodes. She’s so mad, she picks up the frog, and throws him against the wall. Apparently, that was the exact right thing to do to break the spell the frog was under. You see, the frog was actually a prince, and heir to his thrown, who had been cursed to be a frog for some reason I can’t remember. This is when you learn about iron Henry (which I think is actually just the englishified version of his name, and it’s actually Heinrich or smth), who was so faithful and dedicated to his prince, that when the prince disappeared, he had iron wrapped around his heart (He’s the prince’s servant btw). Anyways, back to the main story. The prince then is like “you were the only who could have broke the spell!” And goes and asks the king if he can marry the princess. Because apparently the prince is a masochist. The king says yes, and the prince and princess get married and ride away in a carriage, which is driven by Henry. Along the way, they hear a cracking sound and the prince is like, “Henry, why is the carriage breaking?” And Henry goes, “oh that’s not the carriage. It’s the iron that I had around my heart, breaking because you’ve come back.” This is apparently a very reasonable response, because the prince accepts that and moves on with his life, even as they hear the cracking sound a few more times during the carriage ride. The end.

So I retold this story to my mom, and she’s like, “oh, the prince is gay!” And I was like, “what?” So she goes, “yeah, that’s why he didn’t care about what the princess did! He just needed a princess to break the spell and to marry so he could go back to his lover, Henry.” Which I’ve decided makes a lot of sense, and I now accept as the truth. Let the prince and Henry be gay lovers and have the princess be a side character in their story.

Some questions you might be having, because they’re questions I had:

Why is it called “The Frog-King or Iron Henry” if the frog was a prince, and you don’t know anything about Henry until the very end, and even that seems like a very last-minute addition to the story?

Idk, that’s a good question. I don’t really know tbh

How accurate is this translation from German to English?

Another good question that I don’t have an answer to.

Is that really how it ends?

Apparently. I agree, it was a very unsatisfactory ending

Is this what Princess and the Frog was based off of?

I can only assume the answer to that question is “yes,” and people who aren’t German figured that kissing a frog to break a spell was more romantic than throwing it at a wall, and that the princess shouldn’t be the villain in the story.