#alicekingsss

[hawthornewhisperer]

Hey, congrats on the baby 💕💕 also, if i remeber correctly, you had written a bellarke fic but you said you wouldn't post until becho ended in canon or smth, but it never did. Do you still have plans to post it? I remember i read a snippet of it and it was incredible so i'm just really curious about what you plan on doing with it (i really wish you'd post it but i totally get if you don't want to). Anyways you're amazing and i love your writing. Best of luck and lots of happiness to your family

Thank you!! I do have a bellarke fic that’s been sitting in my drafts since this summer, but it’s not *quite* finished.  (Maybe...80% done? It’s close, but there’s still a bit to go, and enough that I’m not comfortable posting and assuming I can finish it on schedule.)  Unfortunately, morning sickness slammed into me like a freight train right around the same time canon and fandom made it difficult for me to keep writing, so I put it off for a bit and I just haven’t quite managed to get back to it.

Plus....yeah, be.cho is a thing for just over half of the fic, something that people, to put it mildly, made abundantly clear to me they weren’t super happy about.  So I planned on waiting until it was over in canon, and then it *wasn’t* over in canon, and real talk you guys, I got suuuuuper burned out on writing 2 disclaimers per 500 word ficlet saying “hey can you please keep your negative be.cho feelings off this post” and it still! not! working!

And look, there’s literally no way I can talk about this without sounding like I’m scolding people which is really not what I want to do, but it was exhausting.  And nothing I did worked! Nothing! Sometimes they were comments that people clearly thought were innocuous but were still draining to read, sometimes they were DMs yelling at me for asking people to keep those thoughts to themselves, sometimes they were outright shitty reviews on Ao3 about how I’m an embarrassment for liking both ships.  And I got that gem of a (now deleted) review like, two months ago, so I straight up have no faith that a bellarke fic that features heavy be.cho content will actually be received in a manner that is not stressful for me at this point in time.  I cannot control how a fandom as large and unwieldy as this one reacts to things, and since “polite disclaimers on even short ficlets” were not successful, I think for now, at least, that fic is gonna remain shelved for my own mental health.

Now, who knows-- maybe a few months from now I’ll be like “fuck it, bring on the storm” and post it, but as for right now it’s not in the cards, I’m sorry.  I’ve gotta do what brings me joy, and publishing something that is basically guaranteed to get me yelled at isn’t any fun.  (I’m even nervous about posting this reply publicly because of how shitty people got last season.  But I’m gonna hope that people read this in the spirit it’s intended, which is basically “here’s why that fic isn’t getting posted; please understand that’s my own personal choice and respect that.”)  This answer is a lot longer than you probably wanted, but I have been feeling guilty about not finishing that fic and felt like people deserved an explanation.

Lastly: thank you so much for your kind wishes about my family, and if you’re ever interested, remember that I do have original writing available too.

Thanks for being understanding!

xoxo, hawthornewhisperer