#all i want is a fucking hysterectomy so i stop hemorrhaging randomly

[insipid-drivel]

Sigh. Another day of firing potential OBGYNs for preferring to save my uterus instead of my life.

[insipid-drivel]

If you feel comfortable sharing - you've bled out twice before?? What happened?

Menorrhagia and doctors putting my reproductive organs and imaginary babies I will never, ever have before my health, safety, and wellbeing.

Menorrhagia is medical jargon for "the worst menstruation imaginable". I like to call it Crotch Stigmata, because for me, once I turned 13, my cycles became non-stop. I haven't been able to stop bleeding for longer than a few weeks with high-octane doses of birth control pills at double the normal dosage the average patient needs them for. When I cramp, I actually go into false labor, have full contractions, scream, vomit, cry, and never get pain intervention. I've been trying to get a hysterectomy/oophorectomy (uterus + ovaries) for 20 years. My current doctor first tried to talk me down by warning it might cause me chronic pain for the rest of my life if I got one, and I went home and responded with a trauma-induced psychotic break, caved a metal trash bin lid with my face, and scribbled "HYSTERECTOMY" on my body in permanent marker several dozen times and tried to gouge my uterus out with my fingernails.

In my mid-20s, my menorrhagia got so bad that one day I just woke up and felt a constant trickle between my legs. I hadn't been injured or harmed at all, but I had just randomly in my sleep begun to bleed out from my uterus. I only avoided hospitalization by my doctor jacking up my BC dose.

A few months later, it happened again.

This is why I despise doctors as a rule, hate the American medical system, and especially loathe OBGYNs as the lowest scum of the fucking earth. "I've hemorrhaged from this disorder TWICE," is still not enough to convince most OBs in my area that it may just be necessary to give me a hysterectomy. Every OBGYN I've gone to has browbeaten me about how I should try to have at least 1 baby before they'll give me a hysterectomy. One decided to correctively rape me in front of my mom when I asserted I was asexual and would never, ever want children.

I've been told to have a baby to "save" my own life since I was 14 years old. By OBGYNs. OBGYNs would sooner advocate underaged child pregnancy than perform a hysterectomy on one that's already suffering.

I'm trans.