#all of the kh characters have such distinct lives and voices and feelings and kairi consistently has no idea who she is. her personality in

[embraceyourdestiny]

i feel like nomura not knowing what to do with kairi's character has a very meta explanation of kairi doesnt even know who she is and nomura lives / writes his characters so thoroughly that the quandary hes having is because shes having it too. we really live our characters when we're imaging their life and i myself have felt the total confusion, the heartbreak, the love, the fury, the betrayal, the anger of some characters as emotions completely separate from mine so it makes sense for him to be "stuck" / not utilizing her until now because he didnt know where she fit in because kairi didnt know her place in the universe either

[nadziejastar]

That moment, a ball rolled up and bumped into Roxas’ foot.

“Scuse me!” A boy came running up.

“Hayner, not again!”

Behind him, a girl came running, and then following her, a slightly chubby boy.

Roxas picked up the ball at his feet, and threw the ball back to the boy and his friends. The three dipped their heads in a bow, and ran away again with the ball.

“—They’d be around the same age as me, wouldn’t they,” Roxas muttered.

“Huh?” Axel asked, and Roxas wondered if he hadn’t caught it.

“Nothing.” Roxas shook his head slightly and started walking. Roxas turned to watch the pigeons in front take flight.

Thank you for another interesting video. The Youtuber said that RAX just eating ice cream didn’t really make them feel that close. He said it could have worked if being in the organization seemed REALLY that bad and ice cream was the only thing they had in life to give them pleasure. I actually did get the impression that ice cream was all they had. But I think the little short story “Roxas: Somewhere in Time” did a better job showing just how bored and unhappy Roxas was with the monotony of his organization life. That’s how I think they originally intended the Axel/Roxas friendship to be before they came up with the idea of Xion.

“I wonder whether it’d be fun to fly like that.”

“—It’d be fun, I guess,” Axel replied, taking a bite of his ice cream.

“I wonder how long it’ll be okay to do this.”

Axel stared at Roxas. Maybe Roxas is feeling the build up of doing the same kind of missions day after day. Every day, Roxas was given the same mission, to subdue heartless. But it couldn’t be helped, Axel thought. Roxas was special. To the Organisation, and to Axel. Just like how the Organisation can’t let Roxas know anything, I don’t think I’ll let him know anything myself.

This is betraying Roxas, isn’t it?

“We might not always be able to be together,” murmured Axel, without realising.

“Huh?” This time, it was Roxas who looked at Axel.

“What’s with you, don’t make such a scary face.”

Axel turned his face away from Roxas, and bit his ice cream. Roxas didn’t know of Axel’s unrest. And, Axel didn’t know of Roxas’ unrest.

This story takes place the day after Axel comes back from Castle Oblivion. Roxas sees Hayner, Pence, and Olette playing ball and then wonders just how long he can keep doing what he’s doing. He’d rather play with them–kids his own age. Axel knew that. He knew Roxas was unhappy. He was lying to Roxas so he wouldn’t leave. He knew if Roxas had the choice, he would leave him. Their friendship was not strong enough for Roxas to stick around just for him. Axel ALSO knew that their arrangement was living on borrowed time. He and Roxas simply weren’t gonna be together forever and there would come a time when they’d go their separate ways. They friendship wasn’t super cuddly or cutesy, nor was it particularly intimate. But it was interesting.

I actually should not exist. I was just a doll. I chose to disappear because I did not want to become what Xemnas had planned for me. Therefore, I had no regrets. I remember disappearing in front of the clock tower while Roxas held me. Roxas also went to sleep afterwards, leaving Axel alone. The person who probably suffered the most was Axel. Because he’s the one who forgot the most. Being forgotten and forgetting, they’re both painful. I am a bit uncertain whether I should actually exist or not. Sometimes, even if for a fleeting moment, I feel that I truly should not be here.

To address his point about Xion: I was honestly fine with the fact that Xion felt like a living plot device and that she felt like just another version of Kairi. I don’t think she was supposed to feel distinct from Kairi. That defeats the point. He also said that she needed more inner conflict about helping Sora wake up because it made her death scene less effective. I disagree with all this.

I think Xion wasn’t supposed to feel completely “human”. Because she’s wasn’t. She was the embodiment of Sora’s memories of Kairi. She’s not really supposed to exist. Even in her Character File story, she doesn’t sound convinced she should really exist. When she disappeared, it was supposed to feel right and natural, like she went back to where she truly belonged. After beating the game, you weren’t supposed to come away with the idea that she was supposed to return and live happily ever after with Roxas and Axel. And that’s how I felt. I was 100% okay with her disappearing at the end and never coming back. Her death scene was beautiful, IMO. When she came back in KH3, it felt tacky and cheapened her whole character.

I completely agree that it is very disappointing that we never got to see the other members’ backstories. KHUX is NOT the right place to explore Marluxia’s past IMO. But I don’t think Days was the right place, either. Many of the members died too quickly (though more could have been done with Demyx and Luxord). I think BBSV2 was meant to be that game he wanted 358/2 Days to be. I’m sure that the Days timeline would be covered in BBSV2. But 358/2 Days was supposed to be about Roxas’s “blank period” in the organization. So, I am okay with it focusing on mostly RAX and, to a lesser extent, Axel/Saix. The rest of the organization’s past required a separate game to do them justice.

“Let’s eat some ice cream. We are best friends. You are right. Ha-ha-ha.”

I loved the part where he did the robot voice making fun of the dialogue in the game. There’s a lot of truth to how forced it was.

“The biggest problem with the friendship between Roxas, Axel, and Xion is how stilted it feels. More often than not, the game just TELLS us what the characters are feeling, instead of letting it be revealed through their actions. We’re continually TOLD how great the trio’s friendship is, yet the only evidence of that is them smiling while eating ice cream.”

This is a quote from the video. I can understand why he feels like this. And to an extent, I agree. But I only agree because I think most of the fandom fundamentally missed what Nomura was trying to do with the sea-salt trio and KH3 didn’t even bother to follow through with the original idea. 

“Well, Roxas—why do the three of us eat ice cream together every day in that place?”

“….Huh?” I don’t really get what he’s trying to say.

“I have no use in doing that either, do I? If you think about it, it’s troublesome, right? Do you want me to tell you?”

Roxas looked at Axel, and waited for his answer.

“It’s because we are best friends.”

At least for Axel, the game DIDN’T tell you what he was really feeling. You DID have to look at his actions and read between the lines. That’s what I loved so much about the story. 

In KH2, Axel and Roxas were so-called “best friends”. And this is the reason the story of 358/2 Days pushes the idea of “best friends” in such a forced and artificial way. Even in Days, Axel first called them best friends, not spontaneously, but in response to being incredibly hurt by Saix and also from remembering some specific incident from his past.

He wasn’t really supposed to be “best friends” with Roxas and Xion, though (cute as they are). I mean, he’s a GROWN ASS MAN, for crying out loud. Naturally, it’s embarrassing for an adult to be best friends with two kids.

Pathik: The fourth chakra is located in the heart. It deals with love and is blocked by grief. Lay all your grief out in front of you. You have indeed felt a great loss. But love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us. The Air Nomads’ love for you has not left this world. It is still inside of your heart, and is reborn in the form of new love.

I’m sure a lot of KH fans have seen ATLA. The way Axel/Roxas/Xion was handled really reminded me of how Aang/Katara was handled. I think the audience misunderstood the Aang/Katara relationship and saw it more cutesy and simplistically than it was intended to be. Aang did genuinely love her, just as Axel genuinely loved Roxas and Xion. But at the same time, he was completely obsessed with her, just as Axel was obsessed with Roxas in KH2. Aang was just a kid. In his mind, Katara was his “forever girl” and they were gonna be together forever and ever. He was quite pushy about it at times, just as Axel is quite pushy about how Roxas is his “best friend” in KH2.

Aang: On stage, when you said I was just like a … brother to you, and you didn’t have feelings for me.

Katara: I didn’t say that. An actor said that.

Aang: But it’s true, isn’t it? We kissed at the Invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together. But we’re not.

Katara: Aang, I don’t know.

Aang was infatuated with her from the moment he laid eyes on her. On top of that, he met her just after he ran away from home to avoid his entire life changing and losing everything he knew and everyone he loved. And he wakes up in her arms to find out that all his people were completely wiped out because of that decision. He was all alone in the world and deeply traumatized. And he clung to Katara to avoid facing that loss. Axel also lost everything, including the one person he couldn’t bear to lose. Roxas and Xion were the first people he got close to after his life changed. And he starts realizing how much Saix changed and he can’t cope with the enormity of that loss. He hides all of those feelings, and later becomes obsessed with Roxas to avoid facing them. Very similar idea.

Aang loves Katara but not in the way he should, as it was based on replacing the absence of the Air Nomads, and Guru Pathik believes he never learned what it meant to “let go” of her.

Aang and Katara are not on the same wavelength as there are many times where Katara attempts to shelter him from the harsh realities of life - which creates a chasm between them. Katara discovers she can communicate so much more easily with Zuko, and he with her.

Aang finds out that some of his people were alive all along and just hiding; living their lives for the past hundred years without him. His love for Katara grew from the love of the Air Nomads, so what if his people came back? Would he realize that his love for her was not as genuine as he once thought?

--ATLA cancelled Book 4 plot

Katara never seemed to reciprocate Aang’s romantic feelings. Though only a few years older than him, she was VERY mature for her age. She felt more like his mom than his girlfriend, just like how Axel seemed more like R&X’s dad than their best friend. There was a chasm between them. Katara couldn’t communicate with Aang on her level or confide in him about her own pain, just like how Axel could never communicate with R&X on his level or confide in them about his pain. They were too immature. Aang relied on Katara and took her for granted, and Roxas took Axel for granted. When Aang lost Appa he took all his anger out on Katara, just like how Roxas took all his anger over losing Xion out on Axel. 

Aang and Katara had a very wonderful and realistic dynamic, which I liked a lot. It just…wasn’t believable as romantic. And Axel/Xion/Roxas had a very interesting dynamic I liked a lot. But they were just not believable as best friends. They weren’t on the same wavelength and Axel sheltered Roxas from the harsh realities of life, creating a chasm between them. Aang needed to find out his people were still alive in order to cope with his pain and “let go” of Katara. Axel needed to find out that the Isa he remembered was still alive in order to cope with his grief and let go of Roxas.

“He seemed a tiny bit startled as he scanned the room, and his eyes fell on a particular drawing. “This is…me? And that guy Axel…?”

It was Naminé’s drawing of Roxas and Axel, standing side by side.

“You’re best friends,” she said. Right. Those two had been friends—well, Axel believed they still were. Roxas was his only friend and his best. And Axel was the same for Roxas—probably.

I like this passage from the novel. It’s the very first time Axel and Roxas being best friends is mentioned in KH2. Roxas is Axel’s best and only friend. And Naminé figures that Roxas feels the same way… well, probably. What made Axel such an interesting character was that his feelings toward Roxas were one-sided, just like Aang’s feelings for Katara were one-sided. Seeing Roxas again was the only thing that gave his life any meaning. The thing is, Roxas didn’t feel the same way. He cared about Axel, yes. But Roxas would have been VERY uncomfortable and creeped out by Axel’s obsession with him. This is a big problem that NEVER gets addressed or resolved. 

On the sofa opposite him, Naminé spoke up instead. “Sora and Riku are best friends.”

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku.

Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

Like Aang, Axel suffered a great loss; the loss of someone he couldn’t bear to lose. And he never dealt with it. Why does Axel feel the need to assert over and over that Roxas is his only friend and his best friend? Because he was using Roxas as a replacement for Isa–his actual best friend. Axel was desperate to fill the void of that intimacy with another best friend.

“Finally awake, huh?” 

Roxas looked up. “Axel…” 

His only good friend—his best friend—Axel had arrived with two sea-salt ice cream pops.

Roxas is pretty casual saying goodbye in KH2FM. He’s just like like “take care, okay?” He’s smiling and not visibly emotional or anything like he was with Xion. Axel, on the other hand, is reduced to tears. He is most definitely NOT okay.  IMO, the problem was not that 358/2 Days didn’t do a good enough job making Axel/Xion/Roxas feel like best friends. The problem is that KH3 still went with the notion that they ever really were best friends to begin with.

[destiny-smasher]

Kingdom Hearts 3 impressions

So, uh, I will ONLY be talking about stuff up until the very start of the second World, and only AFTER the break. Kingdom Hearts 1 was an incredibly important and influential piece of media when I was growing up. I was writing fic based on Smash Bros. just before KH rolled onto the scene was like, “Yo, Disney and Final Fantasy, BAM, fuckin’ random? fucking RADDDD” and I was all about it. You had FF characters remixed with OCs remixed with Disney characters, and the villains were all crossing over to form the League of Bad Cartoons, it was a great time. And then Nomura realized his gamble was a win and decided to waste the next 15 years of everyone’s time shoving in every trope he liked, every IDEA that felt “cool” together into a mish mash of whatever the hell this “narrative” has become. Suffice it to say, I’ve got beef with Kingdom Hearts as a “story.” It just occurred to me today that a big part of this is thematic/tonal.

But it’s also VERY rare, maybe even unprecedented, for a piece of media like Kingdom Hearts 3 to come around. For years, then months, then weeks, then days, I told myself, “It’s not real, that game doesn’t exist, I won’t believe it until I’m literally playing it” and just could not be bothered to be hype or interested, if only because Nomura’s “vision”, from my perspective, warped something I admired in my youth into a fucking train wreck, leaving me very little to feel emotionally invested in outside of Aqua and by proxy the two lads she is trying to protect. (also I GUESS I’m slightly invested in Axel/Xion/Roxas.../Namine? for similar reasons now that I think about it?) Well, guess what? Kingdom Hearts VERY WELL might be real, and I very well might be about three hours into it. And for all of the beef I have with the plot, I am fucking relieved that those three hours have felt/sounded good, as a video game. NOW we’re gonna talk about the first World. --

When I first heard that Olympus was gonna be the first World in KH3 I was disappointed and BAFFLED. We’re visiting that place a THIRD time? And why THAT World? Turns out, there’s actually some substantial thematic relevance and that’s actually A-OK, not to mention that starting with a familiar world after ALL OF THIS TIME is not such a bad way to kick things off. First off, structurally, I actually really enjoyed the way this world played out. Two of my biggest problems with KH as a video game series have been that worlds feel like empty, vacant, haunted houses, and that said worlds are usually small and linear with a lot of pointless backtracking. Olympus fixes all of this. There are NPCs. Actual fucking PEOPLE in this world. Sure, they’re just people in danger, calling for help, but they’re THERE for once! And they have vocies! EVERY line of dialogue (except for like one “plot” moment) has actually been voiced so far! About time. Also. This World is not as linear as most KH Worlds. In fact, it help more open and dynamic than ANY World in any KH game so far, not to mention it featured three, THREE (wtf) unique and distinct types of settings. The city, the mountain, and Olympus. Nice. ALSO also. The music. We’ve been here before. We KNOW that Olympus theme from earlier games. And as you traverse the city, up the mountain, you hear this more sweeping, movie-like version, and it’s like “oh whoa nice” aaaaand then you get TO Olympus and it KICKS in, the old song, up to modern snuff. That was great. That was a thing that really helped convey “Kingdom Hearts is back, baby.” The World was big, compared to typical KH worlds. It had multiple nooks and crannies to explore, side-paths to go down, treasure to find hidden away. There is a LOT of verticality. Running up walls and seamlessly hopping over things in the environment makes traversal more enjoyable than it ever has been. Even though a lot of the World is technically a linear path it’s not structured like a path. Going off and exploring rewards you with items and the like, and the World is big enough to actually feel like you have places to poke around in. Having said this, WHY is there no...map? Like. You literally COLLECT Maps from Chests like you used to. But near as I can tell, there’s no way to pull up an actual MAP, to seer where the main path is, to see where the side paths are. It’s boggling. Maybe the game has the option hidden away somewhere but if so, that’s just silly. And if there’s just no actual map option at ALL that’s just...baffling. There were barely any load times for how much SPACE there was to navigate, and things looked very shiny and pretty, and ran at a smooth 60 fps MOST of the time. Tech specs aren’t everything, but when your brand is built on “looking pretty” it sure af helps when you bring scale AND a smooth framerate to match. It’s weird, and a bit jarring, sometimes in a good way, to see all of this stuff rendered in modern tech. Stuff looks...a little too plasticy a lot of the time, (which actually ought to pay off when we get to Toy Story?) but the environments so far feel rich and vast and detailed all at once in a way we just have never seen the series, because we’re basically jumping from PS2-level tech to PS4. So that difference in production is more noticeable for the wait -- I just wish things looked a bit more...I guess cel-shaded? Like the original trailer. Things (specifically, characters) look a little too flat/plasticy at times, for how pretty things are. Combat seems to be as flashy as ever and I’m sure I’ll feel differently as I get further in and unlock more options but it’s still too easy, simple, and mashy for my tastes. I am HOPING we get more moments that require quick reflexes and specific tactics like the harder moments of older KH games. The amusement rides mechanic is...weird. It’s given NO context in universe. And they last a little too long/feel too overpowered for how easy they are to utilize. Similarly, there are frequently seemingly random party-member tag-team attacks that...just seem like “press triangle to win” moves. I wish they entailed more interaction, and/or felt less common/random. I like the IDEA of these kinds of moves, especially ones that change your controls/method of attack for a few seconds (like Hercules’ team attack) but the execution makes them feel too cheap and easy to abuse, with combat that’s ALREADY skewing on the “too easy” side for the genre. I like the “form change” for keyblades, and that you can swap keyblades in the middle of a fight. Really hoping this allows for some good tactical stuff later -- buuuuut that would also require the game to ASK OF ME to do more than “mash X,” which KH as a brand typically does not do... Characters SPEAK in reaction to gameplay moments, when you initiate things in the environment, etc. It’s a nice touch that makes them feel more like characters in an RPG. Donald and Goofy are ALWAYS in the party, alongside the Disney member(s). NICE. Maybe KH3 is putting its best foot forward, but overall, I was pleasantly surprised with Olympus. It single-handedly corrected MOST of the issues I’ve ever had with Kingdom Hearts level design. I only hope the momentum keeps going. Moving on, Gummi Ships. What little I played is easily the best they have every been. I love having an open world with optional places/fights to explore, while still giving me those shmup-like bursts of action. The Gummi Phone seems like a fun mechanic, and taking selfies/photos makes SENSE for this game because of how visually detailed it is -- but the pleasant surprise was how I took selfies with Donald and Goofy and they REACTED to it, starting to pose and commenting on it. On the other hand, the loading screen being nonsensical “social media” posts from KH characters...I don’t like it thanks go away. x’D I’ve spent only a few minutes in Twilight Town and INSTANTLY I am so much more enamored than I ever was in previous games. Not just due to the bump up in visual fidelity, but also because -- GASP -- NPCs??? Are you trying to tell me this is an actual TOWN that people LIVE IN?? Holy shit, Kingdom Hearts, I never knew! For all of this stuff I liked, though, KH3 is still...a KH game. Which means after you get through the intro, after you gear up to land in Olympus, the game flashes the title: “Kingdom Hearts II.9″ ...no. Just no. Fuck. Stop doing this shit. Whenever an Organization 13 member (or EX member) shows up and starts speaking all cocky in riddles like the flamboyant anime jackass they are, whenever Mickey starts dead-ass blathering about weird nonsense whenever the plot HAS to acknowledge “oh right Sora golly gawrsh ya FURRGOT this random bullshit a-FYUCK better shove this expository throwaway dialogue right in here before we go n’ furrget again!” whenever Kairi continues to be irrelevant and invisible after ALL THIS TIME whenever Rikku has to say some obligatory thing about his darkness or his copy of himself or Ansem or whatever whenever the plot informs Sorta/Dornold/Goffy about another convoluted ridiculous THING that we already know about and they MAYBE already know about because it is OBLIGATED to because this game’s entire purpose has become to “wrap things up already Nomura” I am reminded of the freshly opened scar on my heart from how much SHIT this series has dragged itself through for...what? Nothing worth all of this, IMO. Thankfully, these moments feel less and less pressing in KH3′s opening hours than they certainly could be, though I’m sure the closing hours of the game -- once they’ve tidily gotten all of that silly, inconsequential DISNEY CONTENT out of the way (even though that’s the BULK of the game environments and HALF of the series’ identity/purpose) -- those closing hours will surely be packed to the gills with all of this crazy crap. Maybe by then I might finally care enough to finally get the catharsis I’ve waited over a decade for. I dunno. I’m just relieved the game looks, plays, sounds, and feels as good as it does so far. EDIT: almost forgot to mention this since it hasn’t actually come up yet BUT I picked up a BUNCH of “ingredients”??? Like. FOR COOKING??? Which is one of my all-time favorite mechanics in a video game?? (thanks Paper Mario) So I’m at LEAST excited to see what THAT is all about.