#almost didn't post these because it looked vaguely sped up

[flimsy-spine]

idiots, the both of them

[somecunttookmyurl]

Hi sorry to bother you, but I just saw your post about not metabolising medication properly, I was trying to track back to any other mention of it on your blog to find out more because that is ringing a lot of bells with me and I didn't know it was a thing that could happen (I'm not jumping to conclusions I'm just curious), I'm chronically impossible to medicate (presumably what you mean by "Drug Goblin") so I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the specific thing you're talking about? I tried doing straight to ye olde Google but without a decent starting point I just get vague anecdotal articles </3

oh no worries about not finding it i never tag anything and tumblr's search function is an eldrich horror that's not on you in the slightest

the basics of it (this is very simplified and i'm happy to send papers but they are like. pretty technical which involves "learning what all the words mean first")

- there's a bunch of different enzyme pathways in the liver. just so many.

- different drugs will be processed along different pathways. most drugs only go one way, but some take multiple routes and split off. paracetamol (acetiminophin) for example uses... iirc... three? so some of it goes there, some goes there, and some fucks off over there.

- the normal amount of functional copies of any of these things is 2. and 2 is what the vast majority of people have. if you've got 2 copies then the drugs that ride that highway work broadly as expected. like you know all the "starts working in x time, lasts this long" stuff? based on the normal range

- for any given one of those, it's possible to have 1 (or even 0) functional copies, or 3 (or more) copies. if you have fewer functional copies then your metabolism is slower. the drug sticks around longer, and will have a more pronounced effect. as such, you would need a lower dose. also your toxic dose level would be lower

- if you have 3 (or more) you metabolise faster. as i'm sure you can guess, that means it's processed too quickly and there is less effect because it's been yeeted out at the speed of sound. you need higher doses, administered more often. which is problematic for your poor kidneys who regrettably still have to deal with it.

- all of these enzymes can be either inhibited (metabolism slowed) or induced (metabolism sped up) by various substances. this is, primarily, what drug interaction warnings are. if drug a is inhibiting the enzyme used by drug b, you could have a problem on your hands

- for most though that list is pretty extensive! as such "defects" on most of them don't really go noticed so much because you're probably fixing it by accident by, like, drinking coffee or whatever

- however Local Problematic Bastard known as P450 CYP2D6 (i know. super catchy) is almost entirely genetic - meaning the list of external things that can either inhibit or induce it is fucking tiny

- unfortunately, Local Problematic Bastard P450 CYP2D6 is where an awful lot of very common drugs like to hang out. so if you've got too many functional copies of it there's a whole bunch of shit that Don't Work So Good and your ability to fix it is, uh, limited

- in the general population being an ultra-rapid metaboliser is pretty uncommon. worldwide it's something like 7% and in white people it's 1-2%. however for reasons that are still unclear, people with chronic pain (notably EDS but also stuff like fibromyalgia) have a frankly stupid 70-80% chance of something in there being broken in some way

- which is a fucking cruel joke bc Most Goddamn Painkillers chill on CYP2D6 If you look up CYP2D6 on wiki there's an (incomplete) list of substrates, inhibitors, and inducers. substrates are the drugs that are metabolised along it. if you read the substrate list like "wait a minute... this is all the shit that doesn't fucking work unless i practically OD on purpose" then my apologies but also same and i hate it

anyway a while back i had the thought "what if i added an inhibitor to biohack my own goddamn liver and make it talk to meth properly" which i studied with CBD (one of the few inihibitors that aren't obscure prescription drugs) and spoiler alert: yes. yes you fuckin' can. (i did research this extensively before trying and human studies on the exact same theory have been done before and the results were positive in all but one person, and that's only because that person had an adverse side effects to the inhibitor and had to drop out)

this is something that can only be properly officially verified with a genetic test but sometimes shit be So Blatantly Obvious you don't need to prove it.

[charlesboyfriendwasright]

Prom with Peter Maximoff

CW: none, just some sickening fluff, Jubilee and Kurt are 💅 because I said so, Peter is a bumbling idiot but not annoying levels of it, I didn't go to prom so this is probably not at all accurate, no prom queen/king for one, also no slow dance??? Idk why not I might rewrite this completely but I do kinda like this so I'm posting it, I wrote this with F!Reader in mind, but other than that Reader wears a dress it's Gender Neutral, I wrote this to distract myself from cramps, and as always, lazily edited

You take a deep breath and run your fingers over the fabric of your dress, the silver lightly shimmering under the light of your dorm. You were waiting for your date, Peter Maximoff, to come get you and take you down the hall to the large gymnasium at Xavier's School for the Gifted where the dance was.

You and Peter weren't dating when he asked you to the dance, but you might as well have been, since the two of you were practically attached at the hip ever since he saved the school from exploding and then enrolled. It was kind of cliché to wait for him, since the gym was only 20 yards from your dorm, but Peter said it would feel like a more authentic dance this way, so you agreed with a laugh.

Just as you were starting to wonder what was taking the speedster so long, a knock at your door sounded. You got up, smoothing out the lines in the dress and grinning when you opened the door.

Peter was dressed in a pair of black slacks (they hung a bit big on him, leading you to believe they were probably borrowed from Erik) and a light blue and silver striped dress shirt, silver and blue flowers pinned to the lapel. It was simple and the two of you matched quite well. His hair was combed to the best of his ability but still hung loose around his face. You resisted to urge to ruffle your hands through it. His eyes sparkled as he looked you up and down in awe and pure adoration. You wanted to kiss him but decided against it, how silly to have you two's first kiss be minutes before the dance, standing half in the hallway half in your dorm.

"You look stunning," he breathed out. Your face heat at his comment and you patted your hair nervously.

"Thanks, you look great too," you told him. He grinned at the praise, clearly proud of himself for managing to clean up.

He stared at you for a few more seconds before a though occured to him and he cleared his throat. "I got you this-" he reached behind him to something he had clipped to the back of his pants, pulling out a clip on flower lapel to match his own- "it's fake so you can keep it forever." You smiled at the sentiment and helped him pin it onto your dress. He held out an arm to you and you stepped forward and placed your hand in his own, letting him lead you two to the gym.

Jean and Jubilee had been in charge of decorating, and while they did an excellent job, you could clearly see where each of their influence showed. Jean had a clean snack table set up at the end closest to the main door, a plastic cover set over- silver, funnily enough- to catch any spills from the three different punch bowls. There were huge -silver- letters above the door that spelled out "PROM" and streamers and confetti carefully placed in meticulous order. It looked great.

Jubilee's side was pure chaos. She used the same streamers and confetti as Jean, but it was thrown wherever without any semblance of a pattern. A makeshift stage was put up and the resident band, the Musical Mutants (we're not naming ourselves that) (we totally should it's hilarious) (no) (you're outvoted), was playing a cover of some rock song you didn't recognize, but it had a nice beat, and Peter took your hand to join the rest of your friends on the dance floor.

Jean and Scott greeted you as they held hands, Scott occasionally twirling Jean around, Jubilee gave you a big hug and Kurt waved awkwardly before they introduced you to their partners. Jubilee girlfriend Kess was a tall dark haired woman in a light pink dress, who you vaguely recognized from around the school, and Kurt's boyfriend Wally was a shorter guy you were pretty sure you had science with. You all had agreed to go as a group about a month before Wally asked Kurt, and then Jean asked Scott, Jubes asked Kess and Peter asked you, so you ended up as one big quadruple date.

You all talked for a while before a particular song came on and Jubilee and Kess ran off to go dance, Scott and Jean excused themselves- "to go make out" as Peter put it, despite your playful slap to his chest at the comment, and Kurt and Wally went off to go say hi to some of Wally's friends.

"They ditched us," Peter said in faux sadness. You shook your head lightly and smiled.

"They probably didn't want to stand here much longer watching you stare at me."

He did his best to look offended. "I was being discreet." He turned up his nose and looked away. He quickly turned back though as the realization of what you said kicked in. "You saw me?"

You smiled at the blush crawling over his cheeks and nodded. He shook his head and muttered to himself about being more careful, which only made you laugh more. Satisfied with your happiness, he took your hand and sped you around to say hello to all of your friends.

This continued well into the night, Peter and you bouncing around from person to person, group to group and conversing with your friends, stopping once in a while to dance or sing along to the a song, and by the time the band took a break, you were exhausted. You made one last stop at the snack table to give your compliments to the band before leading Peter out to the big field that was sometimes used for class. Next to it was a small garden a few of the Botanokinetics and other gardening enthusiasts kept up. The two of you sat down on the bench, your hand in Peter's lap to let him fiddle with the beads of your bracelet to help him keep still.

The sky was dark, stars dotting the horizon, sun long gone and the moon taking up it's place in the sky. Music could still be heard fairly loudly from the gym but it didn't bother you two as you lay a head on his shoulder, listening to him talk about arcade games, and stared off at the small group of students running in circles with sparklers far out by the lake. You could almost spot Jubilee out with them, making hearts around Kess with her powers. You smiled up at Peter as he continued to ramble. He stopped when he realized you were staring at him.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay. I like hearing you talk about things you like. I feel.honored you want to share that with me." He grinned at your sentiment.

"Why the hell did I not ask you out sooner."

You shrugged and pulled off his shoulder. He reached out, very suddenly for you, though you suppose it must've been a normal rate from his perspective, to cup your cheek in his hand and pull you ever so slightly closer to him. You gulped and glanced at his lips as he leaned further, stopping a few inches from your mouth to wait for you to close the gap. You waited for a few seconds before leaving in and pressing your lips to his.

There wasn't any fireworks, there was no magic switch that clicked in your brain, just Peter's lips, so soft against yours. There was just Peter's hand on your neck, pulling you closer. It might not've been showstopping, but it felt like heaven, and that was enough.

@itwasmoirasfaultsorrynotsorry

[not my gif @anakinskywalkers ]