#also *shakes duolingo* at least let me learn my parents’ mother tongues you bitch
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You ever think about traditions that died on your birth
#like. okay for example. on both sides of my family the women sew and embroider#moreso on my dad’s side I think#(if my mom can embroider she’s never shown me)#and they’re really skilled because they’ve been doing it their whole lives#when we visited my dad’s family grandma gave my brother a handmade and hand-embroidered shirt!#and it’s like. all of them can do it. my grandmother and great-aunts and aunts and cousins.#but I’m estranged from that. aside from simple mends I don’t touch needle and thread.#and it’s kinda saddening?? that there’s so much culture and history that I’m missing#because I did not care about it as a child and feel that I’m too old to ask now#edit: I left this in my drafts to stew and today my dad showed me a video of a traditional instrument of the ethnic group hes from#and asked if I thought I could learn it (we do not have the instrument and my woodwind background is useless for it)#so even though it’s not really a family tradition THAT TOO.#pika’s ramblings#gah. idk my dudes. I feel like. a longing for these things and at the same time an aversion#because I know it won’t be the same as if I’d grown up with it all and it makes me feel like an imposter#frankly I feel like an imposter in even claiming my own damn identity because of how distant I feel from my heritage#also *shakes duolingo* at least let me learn my parents’ mother tongues you bitch
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