#also I'm aroace which makes it even weirder because i have No interest

[none-ofthisnonsense]

dreamt i got asked out for some reason?? and it was in my primary school library? and with my whole Terminale class (including the English teacher) there?

[variousqueerthings]

haha no I'm not done thinking about aroace doctor and how that rotates in my head at all times, but today thinking about how common point of view would have us believe that romance and sex in Doctor Who that in some way pertains to the doctor (that is, characters desire the doctor in some way, and/or desire a specific relationship structure -- regardless of how one reads the doctor interacting with that) is less interesting than these things simply not existing in the doctor's life, because of:

the doctor is alien (alien means aroace... except for of course all the times on the show it doesn't, but specifically for the doctor it's a Clue of alieness, according to this wisdom)

the doctor has other shit going on that is "more" interesting than concerns about romance and/or sex + the doctor's emotions around these other things are also "deeper" than matters of romance and/or sex

we just don't want it ok? because it was never there before (much)

and an aroace conscious read would go: actually the romance and the sex are quite important, not only in terms of how characters feel who are allosexual and alloromantic, but also in terms of characters who aren't and putting in this stuff in nu!who doesn't make the doctor seem less aroace than before, but arguably moreso, because before it was not a choice based in a realistic exploration of character, but rather a shorthand of "alien/other," which isn't really what aroace means, whereas now these facets are a vital part of one of the reasons why the doctor struggles to make connections, beyond the grandiose scifi semi-immortality going on -- with the caveat that the writing of aroaceness for the most part still isn't grounded in a deep knowledge of aroace community or identity, but rather coming out of pushing the boundaries of character-writing, which is a fascinating by-product in and of itself, because even when the character isn't consciously aroace and even when the show is trying to be a bit "sexier" by its own admission, there's still a ton of aroace text that writers can't help including, often despite their own stated opinions:

sure the doctor gets kissed, but there's enough intentional grey space that one can (and is invited to) read it as not totally wanted, or merely tolerated

sure the doctor can have intense relationships with others, but never commits to the words "I love you," enough so that if one wants to, one can read all kinds of things into that creative choice (and also the idea that there are many of those relationships, that specifically, deliberately take many different forms, is interesting as well)

sure the doctor can-ish flirt, mostly in one iteration (eleven), but when actually pushed into an actual possibly sexual scenario is viscerally uncomfortable

sure there's more joking about sex, but although other characters definitely do get frisky (jack, amy and rory, river song especially) the doctor... doesn't really, and the doctor tends to rebuff those advances

I just think it's very neat once the doctor is actually shown to be aware of these things that are incredibly important structures in society then their actions have more character depth to them, and that's where my interest in aroace doctor comes from -- not aroaceness as "eh, I guess we always did it this way and it does make this alien character seem Weirder" but aroaceness as actual character, and once people can get onboard with those ideas then a lot of the doctor's actions in nu!who can potentially take on all kinds of different fun shapes (many of them angsty)