#also correction it wasnt 'my first time at a church ever' it was my first self motivated and enjoyable church experience

[goatmilksoda]

[demonicintegrity]

oKAY heres the details on that depressing Devildice human highschool au i made with a friend back around 2017/2018. Kinda a mess so bare with me. long post with themes of abuse, depression, and other nasty stuff.

- Lucifer Angelo grew up in a pretty bad place in Texas. The details werent fleshed out other than that it was a pretty ignorant place.

- The important fact of the matter is that his dad (who we never did settle on a name for lol) was a Christian preacher. Charismatic man, but an absolute shithead to Lucifer. Even with his other kids he was strict and pushed his ideals and plans onto them. Also had a temper and a loud voice.

- Preacher Angelo was once a pretty alright man, although very self-centered and was pretty condensing. He had a marriage early on in his life and had a few kids, named after archangels. Marriage fell through, and he starts drinking and moves on the next one a bit after. Have a couple more sons named after archangels. It also falls apart. On number 3? he has the final sons to complete his arch angel themed kids. At first it was just in honor/inspired by the angels and his Christian lifestyle, tho i think around the second marriage is where he just started getting delusional and started thinking himself as godlike and thought his sons will spread his word and whatever. Needlessly to say, his partners once they found this out went :/ and it went downhill from there.

- Man we really just took every flaw and worse thing to have in a parent and shoved it into this bastard lmao

- Lucifer was actually the product of an affair within his final marriage. Ofc cheating was a dealbreaker and they divorced. The girl he was cheating with stuck around a little bit, but died in childbirth due to complications. Thus he was left with this child that wAs BoRn FrOm SiN so he named him Lucifer. He would be his son of sin while his other sons would be Perfect People. (Even though they and their mothers started to want nothing to do with him lmao)

- He got by and took care of Lucifer decently but because this was an AU of Angst(TM) Preacher Dickhead became an alcoholic, had money troubles over time because economy troubles or whatever, and took out his temper on his son more and more. Luci was taken to church every Sunday by his dad.

- Kingsley Dyce was born in Lousiana to his parents Patrick and Fahri. We had a whole separate story for Fahri’s family and how they met, it was cute but that’s completely irrelevant right now. They lived modestly and were technically stable but there wasn’t always extra money for fun stuff and there were times were they were just getting by, but they never let Kingsley onto it.

- Kingsley (nicknamed King or KD by his friends) was a pretty cool kid. Had fun in Louisiana despite being a bit flamboyant and full of himself, made good friends. His relationship with his parents were fairly okay. He was a total mama’s boy, loves his mother to death and would do anything for her. As he became a teen his relationship with his father got a bit more strained because Patrick was a very Traditional person and into his teenage hood Kingsley had a habit of dancing not-so-masculine or modestly. He also was getting into makeup.

- Stepping back tho, as a kid he was in the church choir. His family is Catholic and his parents took him to church every Sunday. His favorite activity was to rollerskate. He and his friends were always skating to each other’s houses or skating at the rink. Skating, video games, and singing was his life.

- During his 6/7th grade his family moved to Maryland because of a job opportunity. King was suuuupper bummed. Maryland isn’t like Louisiana at all so there was an adjustment curve. Despite that, he didn’t have a hard time make friends. (insert humanized casino crew here)

- Side note: KD had a tooth gap as a kid and got braces during middle school to correct it. It gave him a lisp. He also had glasses and a questionable sense of fashion throughout middle school. This isn’t super relevant but its important to me that you can imagine this kid as the doofus he was. He also was roughly at an average height.

- In 8th grade there was a new kid that came into his class; Lucifer. Luci’s dad had also moved to Maryland for a job. Despite his entire class wondering what the hell was this southern emo kid’s problem, he wasn’t overtly bullied, just ignored. KD however, was intrigued by this asshole and made it his goal to figure out his issue and be all up in his business.

- Luci is currently dealing with some of his hardest years here. In Texas he had a hard time making friends, was bullied, and wasnt surrounded by the best sort of people. His abuse was getting worse as his father struggled more and more, and the move wasn’t the greatest fix considering he was still drinking and getting himself into debt. Luci didn’t care about school nor about life in general.  But then this asshole waltz into his life and boy golly was he feeling things about it.

- The relationship at first just KD latching onto Luci and talking to him about any and everything and trying to drag him around town. Slowly, Lucifer began to be amused by this jerk and his friends. He also didn’t live too far away so KD was able to easily bike to his place even though he never wanted KD over.

- KD picked up on the abuse Luci was going through, and honestly didn’t know to confront it. At first it was just sharing food cuz Luci wouldn’t eat and chatting to him because he got uncomfortable seeing Luci alone with head down all the time. Eventually he talked to his mom about it and the two of them kept inviting Luci over. Fahri became the mom Luci never had and Patrick despite working long hours and extra shifts, would take time to give Luci practical lessons and be a better masculine figure in his life. Luci was slowly being given a family but he also was pulling away from it. He was in the midst of a depression and he was pretty mean to everyone to deal with it, and pulled to himself more as he began to love KD and his family. The new friendships doesn’t cure depression, nor was it helpful against abuse.

- TW under break for more details of abuse, neglect, depression, and suicide

- His abuse was verbal and physical. He got yelled at for being a failure, yelled at because he didnt care about school, drunk his fathers booze, got into trouble and lashed out. He got beat for back talking and whenever the drunk asshole wanted to fight with him. It had been going on for years. He was also neglected pretty bad. Food wasn’t super plentiful in the house, he lived on fast food and luci didnt know how to cook. There was more booze in fridge than food. Power/water would sometimes not be on if his father forgot about certain bills. It was bad.

- Some time during this 8th grade year he also developed a crush on KD, he didnt voice it because his dad was homophobic as shit but also because he certainly didnt know how to navigate love and didnt want to ruin his relationship with KD. So he repressed it.

- Also during this 8th grade year Luci tried to commit suicide. He had texted KD before hand too, with some note that boiled down to he cared a lot about KD but couldnt stand anything in the world/his dad/bringing KD down/whatever and it was obviously a suicide note. KD freaked out and immediately got his ass over there, kicked down the door, and found Luci in his dad’s room with his dad’s gun to his head. I don’t think we ever settled on the details of the situation but it was traumatizing for both individuals to say the least.  KD was able to talk him out of it.

- That incident made them inseparable. Luci never had someone care for him like that, cry for him like that. KD had grown attached and close enough to consider him his best friends, the incident only solidify his want to make his best friend’s life better. It was a rough few months after that and KD was sworn to never tell his parents what happened.

- TBH that was about the worse of it, this was an high school AU and high school became a bit better for them in certain regards. KD got his braces off, got contacts, and had one helluva growth spurt going into HS. Luci went deep into a punk-emo phase his freshman year which killed his fashion, but was slowly becoming a bit more confident in himself. KD and his parents were able to help him a lot. Emotional support, practical life lessons, and food was always a given.

- Its a bit of an up and down throughout high school. KD gets into makeup, heels, dancing, and bisexuality and it causes a major strife with him and his dad who wanted a “real” son. The relationship went through major struggles and would take a couple years to really heal.

- Luci struggles a bit with drinking and deals drugs and booze to get his own spending money. He starts somewhat taking his school seriously, but even though he does work in class he doesnt always do homework or projects and whatnot. He has a habit of physically intimidating other students and occasionally tries to pick fights.

- The “casino gang” also have their own things going on. If a recall correctly, Wheezy was also in a neglectful house, Pip and Dot ( ??? and Dorothy) were twins from a wealthy well off family but were ignored and were terribly bratty, Piroeutta was just an quiet Russian outcast, Mango had 7 siblings and no space to himself and who was bullied for his large off-putting appearance, Chips was just loud, and i completely forgot what everyone else’s deal was. KD and Luci mainly hung out with Chips, Piro, Pip, and Dot. They were still pretty close to the others but those four were the only ones they regularly hung out with at lunch and outside of school.

- There are a couple things that could happen throughout high school. My personal fav i can remember is a particular angst with KD trying to get with another dude and Luci being Upset and lashing out at him at a party result and ugh that scenario was angsty but also turned very cute???

- Regardless, when they do get together they’re unstoppable tbh.

- and yes, the gang would readily throw hands with anyone who said shit. Barely any of them care about suspensions.

- I kinda forget a bit of stuff. I know misc. scenarios here and there both fluffy and angsty, but this post is already long enough lmao so feel free to hit up my ask box with any questions/comments. I dont really think Ill come back to this au?? If i do Im gonna edit a ton of stuff because looking back certain themes and scenarios seem borderline insensitive and/or poorly thought out. I did found a fic of this au on my phone with KD and Luci as adults tho and Im v tempted to rewrite some of it and finish it because it was good.

[onlinedatingoffline]

(listening to:)

first of many i would say,

this begins with my stories of online friendship and stories of lovers who happen to also be online. all anonymously of course!!! ~questions welcomed~ im open to sharing a lot tbf!! as i did grow up (20s now) and became more mentally aware.

(to anyone who bumps into this n got invested hi)

as someone who grew up with traumatic personal memories, my only safe space of being myself was being online and sadly at an age of minor i was almost always online and very unsupervised, many reasons to it. & all who read this if u r guessing if i am a timid person u are very correct.

yeah i had parents, and yes this all started during my middle school years when i got my very first ipod touch, where at this moment was all new to us and my generation for sure. not much of a social media influence but more of a gaming experience from the basic ass games to trying to find ways to be given itunes giftcards so i can buy songs to listen to then learning i can just illegally download my favorites onto my device. it was a special time tbf as i wasnt too fixated on my device more so at night times after my business of going to school and sport practices and church choir n some tutoring on the side.

i think we for sure grow up all a lil broken wishing we had different parents or different environments but for me i strongly desired that. yes i was a shy kid with a lot on my mind and still learning various new english common words. but passionately grew up to loving music specifically that indie alt music (not to be so familiar nowadays but that was my taste growing up) i can definitely say i loveeddd the gorillaz at the age of 5 and thats a fact! core memories with the Feel Good Inc. song. anywhom i am that generation that was in transition (97-02s) to many things and the first being preteens with social media.

it all started with being 10? possibly and deciding to get my first email and then deciding whether or not im allowed to be on facebook, to then hiding n making accounts such as myspace twitter and then later tumblr insta and snapchat. & lets not forget our founding fathers of conversation lines with no iphone like KIK, Viber, oovoo, telegram n etc. I did have a phone tho but i knew already that my blue samsung intensity ll was no good use as to my ipod touch that lasted me a good couple years! plus having a small group of good friends = texting is at a minimal.

i had one amazing best friend and honestly she was always so tru n genuine and i think sometimes i coulda been nicer but i wasnt rude or mean i just wish i was intentionally nicer bc growing up and looking back i valued that friendship more than anything! (definitely like a sister but the one u rarely ever fight with) she came into our school in 6th grade new with a bunch of other students and i actually don’t remember how we became best of friends but she was kinda like me!! a bit shy n we luved bands n music and creativeness! like u alr know that duo!!! it was one of my worst possible times personally but the way i always had my best friend to get to hang out at school everyday was the best! i never really had good friends prior to 6th grade like the connection i had with them!

i was already on social media TWITTER 2 b exact and not using it really well but kick started some small following since you could follow celebrities and have some sort of interaction with them. my interest was more of the bands groups that i enjoyed listening to daily specifically this one band that i was centered around online and irl. thankfully i never published my wattpad stories bc naw the cringe it would have today. and eventually gained a small group of people that id either DM daily or just have millions of back n forth tweets to each other. let me tell u dis shit was nationwide at first and then went out to become international. did i know these people were real, yeah most of them im still mutuals/friends to this day and some could have been fake impersonations in which they really havent gained anything from me as ive never been hacked or “exposed”. nothing detrimental or so i would’ve thought it would always be like that

to put things straight, i was part of a fandom/s and very widely known. i include multiple bc thats also true but i was always fixated on one group. i have had interactions with them and others band groups. it was a prime for me. Was it always good and safe space for me as a preteen-teenager. definitely not! no public area has yet to be a safe space online or irl especially when others are scrolling. your digital footprint is always there so just give it a thought before becoming public!

this was an intro. part 1 starts soon…

[semi-personal]

idk what to name this

Idk if I have said it before but I'm a religious person, no I'm not gunna push my religion (trust me if I hate it happening to me than you probably hate it too) I just want to talk about my religion is all.

So I'm mormon, not a great mormon, but I'm one of them. I grew up in this church so normal not a converted I was born into the mormon church.

And a few things i just wanna state, I have been inactive off and on my whole life. Heck. I was inactive for about two close to three years before a few months ago. So, no I'm deff not great at this, not to mention the fact I smoked and did drugs along with drinking. So in noway am I saying that what ever I say in this post is correct I guess. (I really need some one to proff read these incase so they make sense-) 

either way- (i say as i just got back to this because i was looking in my drafts- this is like a week old- idr what i was talking about but lets contine antways- good luck understanding my word vomit-) 

i think what i was going to start talking about before was some of the diffrent things i have had go on in my life and things i have had problems with. things such as, being a “roof top mormon” , having a hard time understanding things in church, and people forcing their relogouns on others (that one just be cause i think it need to be talked about) 

“Rooftop mormon” if you dont know what that means it is basicly stateing that you are in a sense pretending almost (or at least thats how i see it, i could be wrong on some of what i say, im just going off of my pointof veiw)  im going to note real fast that this isnt just my religon that has this. almost all of them have one at one point. any who- i was talking wth my family one night, me my mother and grandmother were all talking and i heard this as the comment “ there are alot of rooftop mormons runnign around right now” and me at the time not knowing what that meant i looked at them both and asked and got my awnswer and with that answer i got to thinking.. i at some point had problems with this as it turned out, i didnt know what it was at the time; all i knew at the time was that I wasnt being a good person like i had preached all so offten. and because of that relization i worked hard to fix it how i could.. ill be the first to say it, it was and still is a struggle. i have my good days and my bad just as anyone else. me finally looking at this is one of the things that kinda hurt but are good for me  to look at. i dont really know how i want to talk about this one too much so i might make another post for just this but for now im going to move on to the next thing.

another thing i mentioned is having a hard time understanding things in church and i think the only way i can say this that makes sense is that i would look at other people and they could give answers to questeins that i couldnt and i didnt understand where they got them, all be it i still dont always know (and by that i mean i still have the worlds hardest time giving an answer in church ) it took me longer than i like to addmit that it was because i just didnt focuse on what  god wanted me to foucuse on and its because of that that really got to me. mainly the fact that it has taken idk how many years for me to finallly take a deep breath and just listen to what god wants. one of my saving graces is that i at least took my time and looked, some people dont even get that far.. im going to be really honest and say, i still dont know what im doing.. im just kinda going with my gut.. or in other ways to say it, im doing what the holy ghost, god, jesus christ. and heavenly mother are asking of me.. i hope im getting this all corretct, as i said before, all this is coming from my point of veiw, and im just trying to say this and it make sense lol..

one of the last things i wanted to hit on was, people forcing there religiouns on to one another.. this is something that i have learned in recent years is more common that i thought, also tho, its one of those that just as before i just dont understand how to put it in words.. mainly typed words.. i could babble my head off in an desperate feul of hopfulnes that the babble makes sense but typed words have always been hard for me. i still dont know why tho, best not to put to much focuse on it tho,, but i hope that just the putting focuse on it all helps people see things; hope people look at some of the things going on, i will never take away a learning experience on my hand, you want to teach me stuff about your religoun? go for it! i love to learn! but, on the other hand, do not stop me from trying to teach you! i want others to understand my point just as much as they do theres!  (idr how all the “theres and theirs work_) idk if all this makes sense in typed form- i hope it does- in conclution be kind, dont force people to do things they dont want and if they are ok with learning remember to let them teach if they want too...

i hope this all made sense- this took like a mounth to finish- its late- first day of school starts in like- a few hours- goof night / morning/ day/afternoon/ be safe be kind and learn what you can!!!!!!     

(am i doing this right? i dont know either-)

[chaoticghost21]

1-100

Oh shit, that's all of them. Ya know what, its midnight and I'm really fuckin stoned let's do this motherfuckers1. What is you middle name?Cheyann2. How old are you?18 (19 in less than a month)3. When is your birthday?April 22 4. What is your zodiac sign?Taurus but on the cusp of aries and Taurus 5. What is your favorite color?Probably blue or purple 6. What’s your lucky number?217. Do you have any pets?5 dogs8. Where are you from?Oregon in the us9. How tall are you?5'510. What shoe size are you?10 in women's11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?9 i think but they all have holes in then and are ratty (other than my vans and my brown boots that are technically my mom's but they're mine now) so i really only wear one pair of converse12. What was your last dream about?All Time Low broke up and I had a meltdown public. like in this dream i fell to the ground screaming no and i was in public then yelled that this day was worse than March 2213. What talents do you have?I can draw, paint, bake, craft, play flute, sing, write, and compose music14. Are you psychic in any way?Possibly, I've definitely had some moments but idk15. Favorite song?THIS IS THE HARDEST QUESTION EVER. FAVORITE SONG IN GENERAL? RIGHT NOW? WHAT? HOW DO I ANSWER??? UMMMM SUMMER STAINED BY BROADSIDE BECAUSE ITS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT16. Favorite movie?Either The Lovely Bones or The Perks of Being a Wallflower17. Who would be your ideal partner?I have no idea but can they be respectful, nice, have musical ability, and a good sense of humor please?18. Do you want children?Yes but I want to adopt19. Do you want a church wedding?No20. Are you religious?Nope21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yes, many times, sadly22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Yes, when I was little me, my older cousins, and their friends got yelled at by cops for not having bike helmets but me being me I said I didn't actually live anywhere around there and my helmet was at home and this wasnt my bike (all true) so the cops let me go back to my aunts house while they continued to yell at the other kids23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Yeah, I met Tim, the bass from Home Free24. Baths or showers?Showers 25. What color socks are you wearing?They are Gryffindor colors26. Have you ever been famous?No but I've been on the news many times (i wanna be famous though)27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?Yes, i would love to be because i wanna hello people with my music the way music helped me 28. What type of music do you like?Like rock and any subgenre of rock (pop punk, punk, alternative, metal, post hardcore, etc)29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?Nope30. How many pillows do you sleep with?4 because that's all i have, sadly 31. What position do you usually sleep in?On my right side32. How big is your house?Small. We have 3 rooms but they're all small with tiny bathrooms, tiny kitchen, and tiny living room. I hate that all i have in my room is a queen size mattress and I barely have room for anything else33. What do you typically have for breakfast?Nothing34. Have you ever fired a gun?Yes, a few times35. Have you ever tried archery?No, i was offered the chance but i was too pissed off at the person to take them up on their offer36. Favorite clean word?POMEGRANATE37. Favorite swear word?Either motherfucker, asshat, or shitass38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?Over a week39. Do you have any scars?Yeah, on my hand, legs, and belly button (hand: idk, i accidentally stabbed a pair of scissors into my hand while craftingLegs: I'm really jumpy and someone threw a remote past me to someome else and i was sitting on the arm of the couch and fell off when i flinched and landed into 2 plastic storage boxes 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?No, people don't like me that much41. Are you a good liar?Yep, I've lied a lot in my life and no one knows 42. Are you a good judge of character?Sometimes43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?When I talk a lot I accidentally go into an Australian accent and I don't know why or how. I can also do a southern and British 44. Do you have a strong accent?Nah dude, pacific west coast, we don't got that much of one45. What is your favorite accent?AUSTRALIAN OR IRISH46. What is your personality type?idk my dude 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?My prom dress from 3 years ago 48. Can you curl your tongue?Nope49. Are you an innie or an outie?Innie50. Left or right handed?Right51. Are you scared of spiders?Terrified52. Favorite food?Pizza or teriyaki chicken53. Favorite foreign food?If what I get at my local sushi place is considered foreign then that54. Are you a clean or messy person?Messy. I'm so cluttered and scattered its not even funny55. Most used phrased?I'm gonna play this song 56. Most used word?Fuck57. How long does it take for you to get ready?15 minutes without makeup or making my hair look nice anywhere from an hour to 2 of I wear makeup and make my hair look nice58. Do you have much of an ego?No, I pretend to though. Fake confidence helps me59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Suck but sometimes I get bored and decide to cronch60. Do you talk to yourself?Yes, I sometimes need expert advice and no one else I know is smart enough to give it to me (aka what I say to assholes who mock me for talking to myself lol)61. Do you sing to yourself?ALWAYS. I sing without knowing62. Are you a good singer?I think so, I meann that's what I wanna nake a career out of so I hope I am63. Biggest Fear?Dying without making an impact or difference in the world or not accomplishing my dreams64. Are you a gossip?No, unless you screw me over65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?Idk whats considered drama, other than Disney movies, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Lovely Bones, and Tolkien movie, and a few others I really only watch horror movies66. Do you like long or short hair?Looonnggg (I cut my hair short when I was little and it never grew back the same and I hate it)67. Can you name all 50 states of America?I think so but don't ask me ANYTHING about capitals 68. Favorite school subject?Music69. Extrovert or Introvert?An extroverted introvert ( I'm pretty introverted but it really depends on my mood)70. Have you ever been scuba diving?Nope71. What makes you nervous?Everything72. Are you scared of the dark?Yes73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?Sometimes74. Are you ticklish?VERY75. Have you ever started a rumor?No76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?No unless you count me being the leader of my choir, the flute section, and my old friend grouo77. Have you ever drank underage?Yeah which is how we found out I'm allergic to alcohol78. Have you ever done drugs?If marijuana counts then yes (I'm under the influence right now)79. Who was your first real crush?No one, I've never actually has one80. How many piercings do you have?None81. Can you roll your Rs?“No82. How fast can you type?Idk, pretty fast though (taking typing classes all elementary school helped that. They got tired of us so they made us do Mavis Beacon so they could get away from us and not have to teach us)83. How fast can you run?Not very, I have shitty knees and can barely walk (not a joke)84. What color is your hair?Really faded red but will be bright blue soon85. What color is your eyes?Green86. What are you allergic to?A LOT. Cats, alcohol, dairy products (lactose intolerant), pollen, like 5 different kinds of weeds, grass, a little bit to dogs, i think I'm a little bit to weed, bed bugs, dust, mold, flea shampoo, and I think that's it87. Do you keep a journal?No88. What do your parents do?Watch TV and smoke weed89. Do you like your age?Eh not really I'm almost 19 and haven't accomplished anything, no job, can't drive, still in high school90. What makes you angry?Many many things. Disrespect of any form is the biggest one though91. Do you like your own name?Eh, its okay. My mom told me the other name she had picked out for me and I wish she would've gone with that one (Kassadee Cheyann or Devyn Taylor... I'm emo as hell and seem slowly becoming more punk. Devyn would've fit me wayyy better)92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?I've thought of a few. I've always had either Ansley, Quinn, Spencer, or Talia for a girl and Jayden or Jace for a boy or Ash for any because I've always liked that name (fun fact I used to go by Ash or Ashton when I was questioning gender in high school [gender fluid] so my friends called me that)93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?Any, I don't really care. Gender doesn't matter to me at all94. What are you strengths?Imma copy and paste from my resume lol...Back from my resume and this is what it said: Dexterity, public performance, customer service, directing, leading, persistence, competitiveness, creativity, sound discrimination, listening, and writing95. What are your weaknesses?I'm afraid of everything, I'm very paranoid, and I have anxiety and depression96. How did you get your name?There was some character on a TV show my mom saw while pregnant whos name was Cassidy but my mom wanted a better spelling 97. Were your ancestors royalty?Doubt it98. Do you have any scars?Yes... This was also #3999. Color of your bedspread?BLACK100. Color of your room?White. My room is boring and I've never done any decoration in it.DONE. I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS TOOK ALMOAT AN HOUR HOLY SHIT

[nsjang]

Sending ma off

7.5.20

Today we held a zoom memorial service for ma. It felt like a good ending to three weeks of preparing and processing her death. It was a big group effort, with everyone contributing in different ways. Bah prepared and organized all the moving parts, his own speech, slide shows, organizing all the people, coordinating the call, figuring out all the small details. Juen made the video, handled and set up the room and lighting and all the tech details. San prepared his speech, handled tech details during the call. Lisa coordinated the mortuary details and people managed and made sure everyone was on task. Sue took care of taeyang and played with him and kept in entertained and happy during all these gatherings when everyone was distracted and running around doing various tasks. 

Afterwards, I think everyone felt some type of closure after what felt like a very long period of preparing and planning. Figuring out what to do the day she died. Figuring out scheduling and days off and coordinating with Dave and Katie who had to fly and take more vacation than the rest of us to come. Figuring out whether to cremate or bury, whether to scatter at sea, whether to go with the prescheduled boat or do our own boat, whether to do a cremation viewing or not, everyone preparing and choosing a favorite verse, preparing a short thing to say at the viewing. Going to the viewing. Seeing her decaying flesh 10 days after she died. Crying hard during that, seeing her like that. Waiting a few days to get her remains. Asking about how the cremation went. Seeing the cremated remains. Figuring out how to open the urn with the sliding panel at the top. Looking at the bag of white ashes labeled with her May 30 birthday, and asking if they got that right, and bah confirming they got it right because that is her official birthday even though her real birthday is March 18. Going on the boat, spreading her ashes near the golden gate bridge. On the day of, finessing the room decorations to make sure it wasnt too busy, putting up sheets to cover the back, rearranging all the furniture in the room, figuring out how to put up the four-photo collage my dad printed on 6 8.5x11 pieces of paper, how to arrange the 20+ flower sets we received from people all over, figuring out the microphone sound settings, testing the sound, making sure the english translation was correct, making sure people knew how to dial in to the english translation number which was audio only but also the main channel that had the video and chinese audio. planning a week ahead to make sure that taeyang’s nap was right before the scheduled memorial service at 4pm PT. Checking how high of a setting we could put the fans to make sure we would not all melt while suited up, how to sit and arrange ourselves without looking too tacky. is the camera straight? Where do we put the laptop? We should put it up high above the webcam we ordered so we are all looking at the general direction of the camera while looking at the computer screen. Figuring out how to stack up chairs and fasten them together, along with a cardboard box, to place the laptop on, making sure it’s secure. Securing the microphone to a chair with a long metal rod so the mic is close enough to the speaker’s face. worrying if the various videos and slideshows we prepared would play properly. Ordering faster internet so we could have faster upload speeds. Do we have the right numbers for people in korea and taiwan to call in? 

And it all went smoothly. My mom impacted a lot of people. It was comforting to hear all the various people from various parts of her life speak about her, remember her, uplift her, reinforce what we collectively remember about her. 

at the very end, we got to talk very briefly to san san shu shu, mei mei, and shen shen. he told us to take care of our dad. we promised we would. 

afterwards, everyone felt relief. we all went for a walk, even bah came, where he refused every time the week before. jon was talkative and telling lisa to stop cleaning, where before the memorial he was the one fussing with all the small details. 

my own speech, which i shed some tears while drafting, but thankfully was able to hold together while giving it: 

We are here today to celebrate the life of my mom, Emma Sun, or who I know her as: mah or mommie. For anybody that doesn’t know me, my name is Nathan, and I am my mom’s eldest son. My two younger brothers, Jon and Dave, are also here, as well as my wife Sue, my son Taeyang, Jon’s wife Lisa, and David’s wife Katie.

My mom’s life was about sacrifice. She sacrificed everything for her family, and for her kids. She often told me the story that when she was studying for her chemistry PhD at Stony Brook in New York, she was pregnant with me and studied with a heavy textbook resting on her growing belly. When I was born, she was just one semester into her PhD. My mom and dad went to see the university’s daycare program, but she decided to quit her PhD and take care of me full time instead.

There were times in my life where I did not fully appreciate her sacrifices or dedication to us. I remember one time in high school I told her, why didn’t you just send us to daycare? We would have been more socialized. Look at my friend—his parents sent him to daycare and he is way more sociable and popular than I am. See, you didn’t have to sacrifice and give up your life for us. But now, as a parent myself, I understand how hurtful those words must have been to her. Now I understand just a bit more the reason she gave up her career for us.

She ensured that her kids had the best and received as much resources as she could provide. Every Sunday she would dress all three of us in matching outfits. Every holiday party we were in matching bowties and vests that she sewed herself. Our school lunches were hand-packed with healthy fruits and vegetables and sandwiches. And she made sure we ate our vitamins every night, which some of us did not always follow. One time when we were in elementary school and we were moving to a different house, we moved Jon’s mattress. Underneath we found a giant stash of fluoride pills that Jon had secretly spit out every night after the lights were turned out. My mom loved to tell that story to show how mischievous Jon was.

She diligently researched the best books for us to read, and encouraged us to read biographies of great people so we could have role models to shape our own lives. She made sure we had piano lessons, violin lessons, drum lessons, bass guitar lessons, soccer during the fall, basketball in the winter, baseball in the spring, summer camps to go every year, Chinese school after church on Sunday, and even the dreaded Kumon.

When we were in high school, she encouraged us to study hard, but she also emphasized and demonstrated the importance of generosity and hospitality. We never had any hesitation to invite large gatherings over to our place, because we knew that our mom would prepare plenty of food and snacks for all who came over. We would invite the entire church youth group over to our house after church to hang out in the summer, watch movies in our basement, while my mom constantly prepared plates of snacks for people to pass around. Then we would head to the back porch where my mom and dad would prepare dinner for twenty hungry teenagers.

In college as well, my mom welcomed many of my international friends over during the longer breaks, as they often had no place to go to during the holidays. One thanksgiving break in college, I invited my then girlfriend Sue to my house, along with two other friends. Even before my mom knew that we were dating, she treated Sue like her own daughter the very first time they met. Sue remembers that her guest room was always prepared with love and care. Every Christmas break since then, my mom would prepare a gift for Sue as well. This past Christmas, my mom handed down her own nativity set and Christmas tree so that Sue can continue the tradition of having a warm and generous holiday spirit.  

As we got older and moved away to college and jobs, my mom regularly checked on each one of us, gave us personally tailored advice, and made sure we were eating healthily, sleeping enough, living a balanced lifestyle, and most importantly, that we were keeping up and growing closer to God. She initiated family gatherings every year to make sure that we all spent time together at least once a year.

My mom taught me that the most important things in life are first and foremost my relationship with God, and second, my family. She made sure that I didn’t get too focused on my job at the cost of my family and my health. My mom taught me that by being generous with your time and energy, you will gain much more than you give. And my mom taught me to always strive to be better, to seek excellence, but to do it all honestly and without ever forgetting that money is not the most important thing in life, that character, and the way you carry yourself, is much more important.

Often times my mom may have thought her words fell on deaf ears, on her unappreciative and often-times stubborn kids. And although it may have taken some time for me to fully understand the sacrifices you have made and the wisdom you constantly tried to impart to us, now I at least understand and appreciate you more. I will strive to remember your words and the lessons you have taught us.

In your last days, we saw your tenacity for life and your strength, your will to live, and your ability to endure great suffering. At all times, you clung onto God and urged us to as well. Even your last words to us, you made us promise to read the Bible, pick a favorite verse to help guide our footsteps. You wanted to ensure that all of us would promise to pursue and grow closer to God. And I promise here again that I will do that.

Thank you ma. May you rest in peace.

--

Chanyoung sent a note: Nate, your tribute was deeply touching. (I cried...) As one of the "international students" who found home away home thanks to Mrs. Sun's hospitality, I am grateful and indebted. Until now I didn't know about the ailments she had to endure for the past three years--may she rest in peace, finally at home with God after her sojourn on earth. Praying that God's peace, and knowledge that she's in God's care, comfort and strengthen your family in this difficult time. Speak to you soon.

[pupperking]

Then you do em all too!!! >:0000

You got it!

1. What is you middle name?Legally Lorraine
2. How old are you?16 but I’ll be 17 in anout 2 weeks
3. What is your birthday?may 9th
4. What is your zodiac sign?Taurus
5. What is your favorite color?Orange
6. What’s your lucky number?3, 13, 33
7. Do you have any pets?3 cute ass doggers
8. Where are you from?Florida, the hell state
9. How tall are you?5'8"
10. What shoe size are you?10 in mens
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?too many 
12. What was your last dream about?honestly? I think it was a wierd sex dream but its fuzzy and distant now so maybe it wasnt
13. What talents do you have?I can play instruments and fuck up my personal life
14. Are you psychic in any way?no but I can always accurately guess bra sizes so theres that
15. Favorite song?Mountains by Message to Bears
16. Favorite movie?Perks of Being A Wallflower (I loved the book, too)
17. Who would be your ideal partner?Someone who can tollerate me
18. Do you want children?no
19. Do you want a church wedding?I dont wanna be married
20. Are you religious?no
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?yes
22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law?no but theres lots I should have been in trouble for
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?no
24. Baths or showers?shower
25. What color socks are you wearing?im not
26. Have you ever been famous?no
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?ni
28. What type of music do you like?ambient tupe shit and stuff thats soft and speaks to the soal
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?no
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?one
31. What position do you usually sleep in?on my side semi fetal
32. How big is your house?its medium sized
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?pills
34. Have you ever fired a gun?yes i enjoy recreational shooting at ranges on the occasion
35. Have you ever tried archery?yea im bad
36. Favorite clean word?snacks
37. Favorite swear word?cunt
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?30ish hours
39. Do you have any scars?yup
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?yea
41. Are you a good liar?yes but i also make a point of not lying
42. Are you a good judge of character?i like to think so
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?maybe but idk
44. Do you have a strong accent?i dont think so
45. What is your favorite accent?i like scottish
46. What is your personality type?INTJ Chaotic Neutral 
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?I have a 200$ dress look what use its getting
48. Can you curl your tongue?yip
49. Are you an innie or an outie?innie
50. Left or right handed?right
51. Are you scared of spiders?nah
52. Favorite food?nmcdonalds fries
53. Favorite foreign food?german strawberry candies finn gave me once
54. Are you a clean or messy person?clean but my depression makes me messy
55. Most used phrased?right now its thats rough buddy
56. Most used word?unfortunate
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?like 20 minutes but i dragg ass so like forever
58. Do you have much of an ego?depends im kind just competitive
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?succ
60. Do you talk to yourself?all the time
61. Do you sing to yourself?again, all the time
62. Are you a good singer?i like to think so
63. Biggest fear?of being alone
64. Are you a gossip?i try not to be but i probs am
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?idk
66. Do you like long or short hair?i like both
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?yea
68. Favorite school subject?music
69. Extrovert or introvert?ambiveryy
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?nope
71. What makes you nervous?existing and not being good enough
72. Are you scared of the dark?i think i have an actual phobia of the dark
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?yea
74. Are you ticklish?unfortunately
75. Have you ever started a rumor?no im not a piece of shit
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?yea i am right now and im constantly hit with the fear of not being good enough for my kids
77. Have you ever drank underage?tea
78. Have you ever done drugs?yea
79. Who was your first real crush?finn
80. How many piercings do you have?like 5-7
81. Can you roll your Rs?yes
82. How fast can you type?p fast
83. How fast can you run?fast im a sprinter tho not stamina
84. What color is your hair?red
85. What color are your eyes?hazel/green
86. What are you allergic to?pollen and blatent stupidity
87. Do you keep a journal?not anymore
88. What do your parents do?a/c
89. Do you like your age?i guess its okay i wanna be like 24 tho
90. What makes you angry?ignorance
91. Do you like your own name?nope
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so, what are they?no kids
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?no kids
94. What are you strengths?do i really have any tho
95. What are your weaknesses?everything
96. How did you get your name?my mom named me after a city in spain
97. Were your ancestors royalty?no
98. Do you have any scars?yes
99. Color of your bedspread?purple and white
100. Color of your room? white

[trendingnewsb]

Kasey Edwards: I love being married, but am I the exception?

The author asks happy couples the secret of their success and is shocked by what she finds out

I was never going to get married. After bearing witness to my parents three decades of misery, I was not stupid enough to do it myself. When my father left my mother for a younger woman, I conducted my own little investigation into married life. I asked all my parents friends to give me an honest account of their marriages and explain why they were still together. I suspect the little girl in me, who grew up with fairytales and happily-ever-afters, was hoping to prove the older, more cynical me wrong.

No such luck.

The happiest couple of my parents acquaintance told me that the reason they were still married was that they had too much to lose if they separated. I was asking about their relationship, expecting to hear about love, companionship and soulmates. Instead, I got a costbenefit analysis. My best-case marriage scenario sounded as romantic and desirable as crunching numbers in an Excel spreadsheet every day until you die.

Naturally, when I started IVF and my friend Stephen asked if I was going to get married, I laughed at him. I was so amused by the suggestion that I called Chris, my boyfriend and the potential father of my children, to share the joke.

Chris didnt laugh. There was silence on the other end of the phone. I asked him: You dont you dont actually you know want to get married, do you?

Well, yes, actually I do, he said.

Why?

Because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, he replied.

Oh.

Six months later, we were married in the same church where Chriss parents were married 40 years earlier. Im still not entirely sure why I did it. The day we returned home after the wedding, I was so freaked out by the idea of having a husband that I wanted to go over to my best friends house and sleep on her couch.

For ever.

Eight years later, I still choke on the word husband. When I was talking to my daughter Violets teacher about picking her up early from school for a medical appointment, I couldnt quite bring myself to even say the word husband.

I stuttered over hu hu hu , and then, feeling embarrassed at my own stupidity, I finished with: Violets father.

Kasey Edwards with her husband Chris and their daughter Violet. Photograph: Joe Castro for the Guardian

Oh, I understand, said the teacher, who clearly took my awkwardness to mean that Chris and I had recently separated.

So now Chris and I are in the ridiculous position of having to perform marriage to correct the teachers assumption. At a recent parentteacher conference I told Chris that we had to act like we were married.

He laughed. What are you talking about? We are married.

Yes, we are. And to my complete surprise, I actually like it. In fact, I love being married. I love the sense of security that I have never felt before, I love that I can always count on Chris to be in my corner, and know I will always be in his. I love what we have built together: that we are much more than than the sum of two halves.

Having said that, Im still waiting for it all to turn to shit.

I know of very few couples who have stayed together through multiple life stages and still like each other. Not love, but like. Maintaining the like seems to be harder.

Even when I do see couples who appear happy, I have a hard time believing it. As research in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin tells us, people who post their loved-up pics and declarations of love on Facebook are less likely to be secure in their relationships than those who dont. They are essentially manufacturing their relationship happiness to convince other people, as well as themselves, of their partners #affection.

I genuinely believe Chris and I have maintained our like for each other throughout infertility, mental illness, trauma and heartbreaks, two children and two career changes because we see each other as partners in every sense of the word. He has never tried to force me into the role of housekeeper, primary carer, on-demand sex toy with a pulse, or support staff.

When my first book came out, I lost count of how many people asked me how Chris was coping with my success. Chriss ego was not threatened by my moment in the spotlight. Not only was he proud of my success, he was also part of it. It was our success. But I think this question reveals a lot about the power dynamics in many marriages and points to why it is so easy to lose the like.

I am not the woman behind the man, nor am I the woman in front of him. I am the woman next to my man.

I feel genuinely lucky that I look forward to Chris walking through the door each night. I have friends who dread spending time with their husbands; who wish their husbands would travel more because their lives are easier when they are not around.

Two of my friends have admitted that they plan to leave their husbands in the future. And several others have said enough to make me think they are contemplating it.

My friends arent alone. According to a study of 2,000 married parents in Britain, 18% of them have a date in mind for when they will leave their partner.

The research, commissioned by the family law firm Irwin Mitchell, which presumably considers a spike in the divorce rate to be good for business, found that one in 20 married parents has picked a date 10 or more years into the future on which to change the locks. Of those who have already divorced a partner, almost eight out of 10 regretted putting it off as long as they did.

Why do unhappy couples stay together, some resigning themselves to more than a decade of discontent before cutting their losses?

The romantic view is that couples want to work at things and see if they can learn to fall in love again. But the research suggests that the optimists view is, well, optimistic.

The real reasons for staying together make you wonder if anything has really changed since the days when marriage was considered a good way to increase ones estate.

Five of the top 10 reasons for postponing divorce were financial, including what my parents friends had told me: I have too much to lose.

The other financial reasons were: I cant afford to move out, I cant afford a divorce, For my partners money, and We have too many shared financial assets.

The second-biggest reason for soldiering on, however, was to save the children the distress of a broken home. Staying together for the kids was why one in four couples put off that trip to the offices of Bicker & Bicker.

Parents like this use a range of strategies to disguise their unhappiness and their plans for an eventual exit. They argue in a different room, away from the children; they sleep in the same bed to maintain the pretence; they even make a point of kissing and cuddling and going on date nights.

As a child of divorced parents, Im in two minds as to whether staying together for the kids is a good idea. I dont know how I would have handled my parents divorce if I had been younger but I do know that their efforts to maintain appearances gave me quite a warped view of marriage.

I had always assumed that the reality was a harmonious public appearance and an ice-cold, passive-aggressive private life.

My first two serious relationships could be characterised by screaming matches, eye rolls and meanness. It didnt occur to me that this was problematic because that was my understanding of what relationships were. It terrifies me how easily I could have ended up marrying either of those partners.

It wasnt until I met my third boyfriend, who treated me with kindness and respect inside the house as well as out, that I realised this sort of relationship was even possible, let alone the very least I should expect.

From the outside looking in, you would have thought my mother and father were happily married, too. When people saw them holding hands, they used to comment that I was lucky to have parents who still loved each other.

When they did finally divorce, and I was in my late 20s, it came as a complete shock. I was crushed when my dad told me he had wasted 30 years of his life. Not only did it make my entire childhood a farce: it made me feel responsible for my parents unhappiness.

I would never have wanted my parents to endure three decades of misery because of me. And even though I didnt make that decision for them, I often feel the brunt of my fathers resentment for it.

Im not about to tell my friends to rethink their decision to stay together for their kids, but I do think that sacrificing your own happiness for someone else rarely turns out well in the long run.

This is an extract from Guilt Trip: My Quest to Leave the Baggage Behind by Kasey Edwards (Nero). kaseyedwards.com

Read more: http://ift.tt/2v7HydW

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2fh8UKU via Viral News HQ

[trendingnewsb]

Kasey Edwards: I love being married, but am I the exception?

The author asks happy couples the secret of their success and is shocked by what she finds out

I was never going to get married. After bearing witness to my parents three decades of misery, I was not stupid enough to do it myself. When my father left my mother for a younger woman, I conducted my own little investigation into married life. I asked all my parents friends to give me an honest account of their marriages and explain why they were still together. I suspect the little girl in me, who grew up with fairytales and happily-ever-afters, was hoping to prove the older, more cynical me wrong.

No such luck.

The happiest couple of my parents acquaintance told me that the reason they were still married was that they had too much to lose if they separated. I was asking about their relationship, expecting to hear about love, companionship and soulmates. Instead, I got a costbenefit analysis. My best-case marriage scenario sounded as romantic and desirable as crunching numbers in an Excel spreadsheet every day until you die.

Naturally, when I started IVF and my friend Stephen asked if I was going to get married, I laughed at him. I was so amused by the suggestion that I called Chris, my boyfriend and the potential father of my children, to share the joke.

Chris didnt laugh. There was silence on the other end of the phone. I asked him: You dont you dont actually you know want to get married, do you?

Well, yes, actually I do, he said.

Why?

Because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, he replied.

Oh.

Six months later, we were married in the same church where Chriss parents were married 40 years earlier. Im still not entirely sure why I did it. The day we returned home after the wedding, I was so freaked out by the idea of having a husband that I wanted to go over to my best friends house and sleep on her couch.

For ever.

Eight years later, I still choke on the word husband. When I was talking to my daughter Violets teacher about picking her up early from school for a medical appointment, I couldnt quite bring myself to even say the word husband.

I stuttered over hu hu hu , and then, feeling embarrassed at my own stupidity, I finished with: Violets father.

Kasey Edwards with her husband Chris and their daughter Violet. Photograph: Joe Castro for the Guardian

Oh, I understand, said the teacher, who clearly took my awkwardness to mean that Chris and I had recently separated.

So now Chris and I are in the ridiculous position of having to perform marriage to correct the teachers assumption. At a recent parentteacher conference I told Chris that we had to act like we were married.

He laughed. What are you talking about? We are married.

Yes, we are. And to my complete surprise, I actually like it. In fact, I love being married. I love the sense of security that I have never felt before, I love that I can always count on Chris to be in my corner, and know I will always be in his. I love what we have built together: that we are much more than than the sum of two halves.

Having said that, Im still waiting for it all to turn to shit.

I know of very few couples who have stayed together through multiple life stages and still like each other. Not love, but like. Maintaining the like seems to be harder.

Even when I do see couples who appear happy, I have a hard time believing it. As research in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin tells us, people who post their loved-up pics and declarations of love on Facebook are less likely to be secure in their relationships than those who dont. They are essentially manufacturing their relationship happiness to convince other people, as well as themselves, of their partners #affection.

I genuinely believe Chris and I have maintained our like for each other throughout infertility, mental illness, trauma and heartbreaks, two children and two career changes because we see each other as partners in every sense of the word. He has never tried to force me into the role of housekeeper, primary carer, on-demand sex toy with a pulse, or support staff.

When my first book came out, I lost count of how many people asked me how Chris was coping with my success. Chriss ego was not threatened by my moment in the spotlight. Not only was he proud of my success, he was also part of it. It was our success. But I think this question reveals a lot about the power dynamics in many marriages and points to why it is so easy to lose the like.

I am not the woman behind the man, nor am I the woman in front of him. I am the woman next to my man.

I feel genuinely lucky that I look forward to Chris walking through the door each night. I have friends who dread spending time with their husbands; who wish their husbands would travel more because their lives are easier when they are not around.

Two of my friends have admitted that they plan to leave their husbands in the future. And several others have said enough to make me think they are contemplating it.

My friends arent alone. According to a study of 2,000 married parents in Britain, 18% of them have a date in mind for when they will leave their partner.

The research, commissioned by the family law firm Irwin Mitchell, which presumably considers a spike in the divorce rate to be good for business, found that one in 20 married parents has picked a date 10 or more years into the future on which to change the locks. Of those who have already divorced a partner, almost eight out of 10 regretted putting it off as long as they did.

Why do unhappy couples stay together, some resigning themselves to more than a decade of discontent before cutting their losses?

The romantic view is that couples want to work at things and see if they can learn to fall in love again. But the research suggests that the optimists view is, well, optimistic.

The real reasons for staying together make you wonder if anything has really changed since the days when marriage was considered a good way to increase ones estate.

Five of the top 10 reasons for postponing divorce were financial, including what my parents friends had told me: I have too much to lose.

The other financial reasons were: I cant afford to move out, I cant afford a divorce, For my partners money, and We have too many shared financial assets.

The second-biggest reason for soldiering on, however, was to save the children the distress of a broken home. Staying together for the kids was why one in four couples put off that trip to the offices of Bicker & Bicker.

Parents like this use a range of strategies to disguise their unhappiness and their plans for an eventual exit. They argue in a different room, away from the children; they sleep in the same bed to maintain the pretence; they even make a point of kissing and cuddling and going on date nights.

As a child of divorced parents, Im in two minds as to whether staying together for the kids is a good idea. I dont know how I would have handled my parents divorce if I had been younger but I do know that their efforts to maintain appearances gave me quite a warped view of marriage.

I had always assumed that the reality was a harmonious public appearance and an ice-cold, passive-aggressive private life.

My first two serious relationships could be characterised by screaming matches, eye rolls and meanness. It didnt occur to me that this was problematic because that was my understanding of what relationships were. It terrifies me how easily I could have ended up marrying either of those partners.

It wasnt until I met my third boyfriend, who treated me with kindness and respect inside the house as well as out, that I realised this sort of relationship was even possible, let alone the very least I should expect.

From the outside looking in, you would have thought my mother and father were happily married, too. When people saw them holding hands, they used to comment that I was lucky to have parents who still loved each other.

When they did finally divorce, and I was in my late 20s, it came as a complete shock. I was crushed when my dad told me he had wasted 30 years of his life. Not only did it make my entire childhood a farce: it made me feel responsible for my parents unhappiness.

I would never have wanted my parents to endure three decades of misery because of me. And even though I didnt make that decision for them, I often feel the brunt of my fathers resentment for it.

Im not about to tell my friends to rethink their decision to stay together for their kids, but I do think that sacrificing your own happiness for someone else rarely turns out well in the long run.

This is an extract from Guilt Trip: My Quest to Leave the Baggage Behind by Kasey Edwards (Nero). kaseyedwards.com

Read more: http://ift.tt/2v7HydW

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2fh8UKU via Viral News HQ