#also did I call him Lucas cause he’s mine (Luca’s)? no. is it kinda funny tho? yea

[groan-taire]

the fhr brainrot has gotten me and it is unfortunately terminal, so here's my sidestep he might be competent enough but honestly he isn't very good at being evil, he’s just bitter and desperate and lonely

[hoe-for-yukhei]

 BEST FRIEND🌨

HENDERY-READER-LUCAS

Note; I’m not that good at mandarin and korean i’m still studying. Pls forgive me if there’s any grammatical errors or wrong translations,English is not my first language either, please bear with me.

Also yuqi will be mentioned here, she’s kinda bitch in this story so if you don’t like bad yuqi then please skip.

____________________________

What is he doing?

Is he eating?

Does he overwork himself?

Does he miss me?

Those thoughts lingered in your mind since You left to pursue your dream.

You and Lucas are in a Long Distance Relationship.

You in y/c Working Night Shifts in one of the biggest hospitals in your country.

While he’s in Korea and sometimes he travels for World tours and concerts.

You had lost contact with each other so you really can’t help but to worry and miss him.

You were both successful. But something’s missing..

You were a former trainee at SM.You’re close to RED VELVET,NCT,and EXO because you were in their batch and trained with them. 

At first you don’t have any friends.

A foreigner who’s still studying basic Korean language who wants  to be friends with her? You gained acquaintances and small friendships but still don’t have that friend who’s really close, an intimate friend. Until Hendery came into the company,He reminded you of you, Coming from a neighboring country, Doesn’t talk korean,Shy, New, and doesn’t have friends..

You cherished him. You two became best friends. Since he got into training with NCT he started hanging with the other boys which made you proud. You and Hendery counted many years as friends,you discovered new things about each other. One day he invited you to hangout with him and a friend. 

“Oh y/n is here!”

Hendery stood up from where he was sitting.

You didn’t know you guys would be having company.

You dragged Hendery outside the Cafe.

“You didn't tell me about eating with someone, I could have dressed better.”

“What are you saying? You look fine”

“You said It was just the two of us”

“Yeah about that, He was kinda lonely since Mark and others debuted. So I took him with me! You and him will be great friends, he's cool!”

“Alright.”

We walked back to their table. The guy is just sitting there looking at his phone.

“Bàoqiàn ràng nǐ jiǔ děngle wǒmen gāng tánle diǎn shì.”

(Hey, sorry to keep you waiting. We just talked about something.)

“méi shì.” (No worries.)

“Lucas,Tā shì y/n. y/n, Tā shì Lucas.” (Lucas,meet y/n. y/n, meet Lucas)

“y/n? Jiǔyǎng dàmíngle! Hěn gāoxìng jiàn dào nǐ! Hi I am Lucas.” (y/n? I heard so much about you! Nice to meet you!)

He extends his hand to you.

You just stare at his face. You froze at the moment. Because apparently you had never seen such beauty.

Handsome can’t describe Lucas’ he’s a god.

“y/n?”

For the first time you had a crush.

“U-uhm wo-wǒ shì y/n. Wǒ yěshì shíxí shēng. xìnɡ huì, xìnɡ huì” (H-Hi I am y/n. I am a trainee too. Nice to meet you.”

“Woah!junggug-iniseyo?” (Woah are you chinese?)

“A-ani! I’m not. I’m y/r”

You’re stuttering. In front of your crush. And it’s the first time you’re meeting. Bitch First Impressions last. You better keep it cool.

You, Hendery and Lucas hangs out more after that. You got close to him more and more,you found out he’s more than just a pretty face. He's charming, passionate, kind, funny and many more. Lucas can also say he likes hanging out with Hendery more because you always come along. Lucas really likes Hendery and treats him one of his best friends but why does he have a feeling that Lucas is using Hendery as an excuse to see you? And on the other hand you feel the same way too. Whenever Hendery asks you out to hang out you always expect Lucas to be there, and sometimes you’re much more excited about seeing Lucas than the night out instead. Hendery doesn’t feel like that. He feels like a freaking Third wheel. You and Lucas only focus on each other, Whenever he goes out with the both of you he always sees sparks in both of your eyes that mirror Lucas Eyes too. The attraction between Lucas and you can’t be denied. He tried to tease you both about it but you guys always deny it even though it’s obvious. And he’s not happy with that. 

Why?

Cause Hendery likes you.

Since Day 1.

Hendery became busy all of a sudden, you were lonely so Lucas accompanied you in place of Hendery.

Going out with Lucas became a habit, you too built a deep relationship with each other.

Lucas doesn’t want the feeling of taking Hendery for granted so he invited Hendery for a talk.

Hendery stops  playing his game and follows lucas.

“Hendery,hago sipeun mari ittta.” (Hendary, I have something to say.)

“Zěnmále?” (What is it?)

“Wǒ xǐhuan y/n..” (I like y/n..)

“Shénme?!” (What?!)

“Naneun geunyeoreul joahanda naneun geunyowa deiteuhago siptta.I like her. I want to date her. Wǒ yīnggāi bǎ tā yì chéng zhōngwén ma? thai?”(I like her, I want to date her. I like her, I want to date her. Should I also translate it into chinese? thai?)

“No need, I was just surprised.”

“So? Can I go out with her?”

“Seriously Why are you asking me? Wǒ bùshì tā Xuxi. You should ask her. Tā bùshì wǒ de.”(Seriously Why are you asking me? I’m not her Xuxi. You should ask her. She’s not mine.)

It’s true. You’re not Hendery’s.

He wish you were.

He knew this was going to happen, He doesn’t want to gatekeep you from Lucas just because he’s jealous, and also he doesn’t have a chance. You only see him as a best friend.

“I just thought it’s good to ask you because you’re her best friend.”

“You can do whatever you want Xuxi,Wúlùn fāshēng shénme shì, wǒ dūhuì zhīchí nǐ.”(You can do whatever you want Xuxi,i'll support you whatever happens.)

“Zhēn de ma?! Wǒ fàngxīnle.” (Really?! I feel relieved.)

“Wèishéme? Nǐ hàipà wǒ yě xǐhuān tā ma?” (why? are you scared that i like her too?)

Lucas was surprised. He just read my mind. He thinks.

Other than the feeling of guilt of using his friend as an excuse, He wants to ask him too to ensure that his dear friend is not going to be a rival.

“Ani nan duryopjji ana, Qíshí wǒ hěn yǒu xìnxīn.”(I’m not scared, actually i’m feeling confident.)

Why would he be scared? He’s Lucas. He can make everyone fall by looks alone.

“Don’t Worry, I won’t be a rival. I like her. I really do, but I won’t pursue her.I’m a coward and I haven’t put myself all together.Wǒ pèi bù shàng tā. Hái yǒu, tā zhǐ xǐhuān wǒ dāng péngyǒu, qǐng dài wǒ zhàogù tā.” (Also, she only likes me as a friend.  Please take care of her for me.)

It’s True He doesn’t deserve you. He’s still broken from an accident. He will be a burden once those memories will start hunting him  again.

“Nǐ quèdìng?” (you sure?)

“Yeah,Dàn jì zhù, yīdàn nǐ shānghàile tā wǒ jiù bǎ tā dài zǒu tā. I’m dead serious Yukhei.” (yeah,but remember once you hurt her, I'll take her away from you. I’m dead serious Yukhei.)

You and Lucas dated. You two were inseparable and in love with each other. Your friendship with Hendery kinda changed, he became busy with everything since He’s going to Debut in Wayv. It’s fine with you but you missed him.

Lucas opens your eyes about your dreams and the things you really want. Thanks to him you decided to pursue medicine.

Your relationship with Lucas now is different since he Debuted. You two were private, but not secret. Which means many people know he has a girlfriend but don't know it’s you. Few Idols know you’re his girlfriend but they keep it to themselves.

Lately Lucas has been distant to you. He wouldn’t pick up whenever you call. And whenever you want to facetime he would say he’s busy. 

“y/n your boyfriend sent a bubble message it’s trending in twt! Did you get the message?!”

“OMG wtf Na Jaemin! You scared the shit out of me!”

“Dr.Na, Dr.l/n. Shhh the patients are sleeping.”

You and Jaemin got scolded by the Chief Nurse. You two slightly bowed as sorry.

“Aish-This is all your fault.”

“Check LYSN right now! Ppalli!”

“I can’t My Subscription just expired yesterday.”

“Instead of ordering me. How about you tell me what he said?”

“Oh I didn't see the tweets about him. I just saw LUCAS GIRLFRIEND,#루카스_여자친_버블,#WE_SUPPORT_LUCAS, #旭熙_女朋友_LYSN and my phone died.” (#Lucas_girlfriend_bubble, #Yukhei_Girlfriend__LYSN)

“Oh..really? Did he mention me? He doesn’t tell me anything about coming out. That’s weird.”

“J-jeongmal?! Neohi duri majimageuro jonhwahan ge eonjeya?” (R-really?! When’s the last time you two call each other?)

That question is not hard.

But why can’t you answer such a simple question?

Perhaps because the two of you didn’t talk for like 6 months?

“nado molla,He always says he's busy.I send him daily messages but he won’t reply,He left me on seen.” (I don’t know.)

“What kind of boyfriend is he? He’s not like that when we’re still trainees.”

“Wait I’ll check Twitter.”

You don’t want to check what’s happening. A part of you just wants to turn a blind eye on this issue, because you have that feeling that things are about to mess up.

NCTSM: english translation of lucas’ post.

Translated by:@hoeforyukhei

여러분, 저는 루카스입니다.

팬분들한테 하고 싶은 말이 있어요.

사실 이 편지를 쓰면서 너무 떨려요.

저를 응원해주신 모든 팬분들께 감사드리고 처음부터 사랑하고 싶습니다. 저는 모든 사람들에게 제가 진정으로 사랑하는 아름답고 재능 있고 친절한 여자와 사귀고 있다는 것을 알리고 싶습니다.

유키는 제 여자친구와 우리 회사 둘 다 우리의 관계를 알리고 싶어했습니다.

저를 응원해주신 멤버들, 그리고 저를 사랑해주신 팬분들께 감사드리고, 제가 받을 자격이 없는데도 불구하고 응원해주신 팬분들께도 감사드린다.

저는 항상 여러분 모두에게 감사할 것이고 제 자신을 향상시키기 위해 노력할 것입니다.

사랑하는 팬들의 성원과 사랑에 보답하기 위해 열심히 노력하겠습니다.

탄쿄우 너무많아요.

Everyone, This is Lucas.

I want to say something to our fans.

I am actually so Nervous right now while writing this letter.

I want to thank all the fans that supported and love me from the start. I want to inform everyone that I am dating a beautiful, talented, and kind woman that I truly love.

Yuqi, my girlfriend and both of our Company wanted to publicize our relationship.

I am thankful for the members who cheered me, and to the fans who love me and supported me even though I am not deserving.

I will always be thankful to all of you and I will try to improve myself.

I will work hard to repay all the support and love of our beloved fans.

Thank You so much.

“What fucking bullshit is this?!”

“What the heck Renjun you were behind us all along?!”

“You’ve gone blind Na Jaemin.”

“Guys what the heck shut up the Patients are sleeping.”

“No y/n You shut up. How dare you take this bullshit? He just cheated on you! Right in front of your screen!”

Why are you calm?

Why aren’t you crying?

Is it because half of you expected it?

“It’s okay.It doesn’t matter. I already had a hunch he would do this.”

“Ani-even though you know it,I think it’s the best if you two should talk about it.”(no)

“Yeah, Renjun’s right if you’ll end things with him end it infront of his face! Slap him hard!”

“No Jaemin,I didn’t mean y/n will slap lucas. But y/n you get what I mean right?”

“Dr. Huang, paging Dr. Huang, Please come to the ER. Dr. Huang, paging Dr. Huang, Please come to the ER.”

“y/n you don’t always have to look strong. Jaemin and I are always here to talk to you.”

Renjun leaves you and Jaemin behind. You overthink Renjun's words, as always He is right. But your boyfriend just cheated on you, of course you don’t want to see him.

You find yourself in the middle of the airport,with Renjun who’s carrying your light backpack and Jaemin who’s hyped and doing an IG live.

In the end you and Jaemin are doing a chant like two drunkards in the center of the airport while waiting for your flight.

“y/n! y/n! Where are you going?”

“Korea!”

“Why are you going?!”

“To burn my ex's house!”

“Why are you going?!”

“To burn my ex’s house!”

“Whose house?!”

“Lucas’ house”

“Whose house?!”

“Lucas’ house!”

“Okay Jaemin that’s enough”

“No wait Renjun i’m not finish ye-”

Renjun quickly ended Jaemin’s IG live, which results in Jaemin being cranky. You literally laugh hard to their craziness. Until you were brought back to your reality when you heard your flight.

 “You’re a grown woman already so I’m not going to worry about you.”

“y/n bye!! Call us if anything happens!”

You were thankful for Jaemin and Renjun. They became your friends, your parents, your siblings, and your family.

They reminded you of someone.

Lucas definitely knows what he’s doing is wrong. He can’t help but to worry about you, this decision of his will forever make him miserable.

As soon as you got out of the airport, you didn’t immediately check in to a hotel or call lucas. Your feet dragged you to where your special place is. It’s the secluded part of the park, the park is where you and your ex-boyfriend have made most of your happy moments.

While you were you saw two familiar personages. 

Familiar indeed.

You are one little shit y/n. You said to yourself you will not cry.

But shit you were extremely wrong.

As tears roll down unto your face, you hurriedly exit the area.

“y-y/n?”

It’s Yuqi. You know her voice. Lucas once introduced her to you saying they’re close friends. They suited each other, and sometimes you tease them of being the perfect couple shits like that.

Then Yuqi will deny that she doesn't like him, they're just friends and everything.

You and her became friends. You even ask her if she could update you while you work abroad.

Now she’s just pure bullshit.

No, they’re bullshits.

You’re in the middle of running the exit to escape that hell hole.

Two large arms suddenly wrap your torso.

“Y-Y/n? Where are you going? Please let me explain, I didn’t do it. They made me do it y/n it’s not me i promise y/n don’t leave me Qǐng bùyào líkāi wǒ, wǒ qiú nǐle. Wǒ ài nǐ y/n. Wǒ zhēn de ài nǐ y/n, qǐng bié líkāi wǒ. J-jebalyo” (please don't leave me, I beg you. I love you y/n. I really do y/n,don't leave me, please.)

He’s sobbing there.

We’re all crying

He really won’t let go of you.

“L-lucas let go of me! Please.”

“No I won’t, please hear me out just this once.”

“I had enough, when there are times that I really need you- you shut me out lucas! You don’t know what that feels, the feeling of being left out. You didn’t even hear me out! You didn’t even answer my call when my brother died! I just want your company.. Your love. How can I hear you out if you don’t do the same? please,Fàng kāi wǒ..” (let me go.)

Lucas knelt to the ground and grab both of your hands tightly.

He’s eyes are swollen. Your heart aches for him, you still love him but this is so messed up. You remember the times before you lost contact with each other. Everything is so toxic.. 

Sometimes you have to accept the truth and stop wasting time on the wrong people.

“L-lucas,s-stand up please.”

“Bù, wǒ bù huì de! Bié pèng wǒ! Dōu shì nǐ de cuò! Bié pèng wǒ! Dōu shì nǐ de cuò! Nǐ qīpiànle wǒ.” (don't touch me! It's all your fault! you deceived me.)

“N-no,I didn’t.”

“y-y/n hear me out please I don’t love her.”

I hate it here.

Thankfully,Someone grabbed you out of nowhere.

You didn’t expect the sudden rescue,but you really appreciate it.

You cry hardly in the man’s arms.

It’s him. You missed him.

“Fàng kāi tā de Lucas.” (let go of her lucas.)

“I thought we were friends.”

“We still are,our friendship has nothing to do with helping y/n lucas.”

“You said you will support me!us!”

“That was then before you hurt her!”

“You know what would happen if I didn’t obey the company! You were there with me!”

“God damn lucas! You have a choice to accept it or not!”

“It’s my whole career! Everything I’ve worked for,and many more! I can’t afford  to sacrifice my-”

“Then it’s not y/n’s fault. You chose your career over her, then why are you running after her? If you really love her you would choose her! You need to man up! You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

“y-y/n please make them stop! Nǐmen liǎ bié chǎole!Hendery please stop!” (You two stop fighting!)

“You. I know there’s something fishy behind your kind act. You know Xuxi already has a girlfriend! How dare you blackmail the higher ups just to make him yours? You sickened me.”

Your head is aching from all the crying and the things you discovered. You hated the drama.

“Bù Shì zhèyàng de! Wǒ méi nàme zuò! Nǐ zài shuō shénme-” (That’s not true! I didn’t do that! What are you sayin-)

“ENOUGH!”

You snapped. It took you a long time to get sick from all their lies.

“Y/n I promise you this isn’t tr-”

“I already said I had enough. Stop being pathetic Yuqi.”

A few people started to gather up when someone noticed the four of you, You are still with famous artists after all.

Hendery immediately dragged you out of the scene and took you to a car nearby, and drove his way out of there.

You love that park.Hangang Park is once full of your happy memories with your dearest ones,now it’s full of treachery,lies and contention.

You want to let go.

Many years of lies and denials. Now it’s all over.

“I thought I’ve lost you.”

“Trust me, I’m always with you.”

“Are we still friends?”

“There’s no break up in friendships.. At Least for me.”

You felt relief.

You can’t afford to have breakups from your friends. They’re all you got.

“Are you sure about letting go of him? You should know both sides.”

“I want to know both sides, I really do. But ican’t take all of this in one day. I need a break, this isn’t healthy. I just want to vanish for a second.”

“You didn’t answer me about letting go of him.”

“I don’t really know actually. But someone once told me ‘Never run back to what broke you’ I haven’t done that,I always thought that everything would be fixed once I stayed and put everything in order by myself. Turns out it didn’t. I think it’s time for a change.Someday, someone is going to thank him for letting me go.”

Someday, someone is going to thank Lucas for letting you go?

Hendery chuckled a little. Your saying once reminded him of the past.

When Lucas thanked him for letting you go.

It turns out, Hendery can’t let you go.

“Did you realize he didn’t actually let you go?”

“I know. But You can’t actually call it a relationship if you’re the only one holding on like I did. Besides he has yuqi.”

“Oh really?”

“You didn’t actually ask me where we're going. You just dragged me. Why did you do that?”

“I just did what I promised myself a long time ago.”

“What is that?”

You stared at his side profile while he’s driving.

He’s focused on the road, the oranged-pinked lights from the sunset pass through the windshield and hits his ethereally beautiful face.

Your Heart beats faster. It’s like the first time you met yukhei.

Hendery turned to you and smiled softly.

“It’s ‘once someone hurts you, I'll take you away from that person.’ I had a very horrible past. I’ve broken many promises from my loved ones,so this is the first time I’ve made a promise come true and I’m pretty proud about it.”

“By the way where are we going?”

“Anywhere you want, Where do you wanna go?”

______________________________

“Did you get it?”

“Yes sir I did.”

“This will be a really big scoop,let me see.”

“I just really love you so much *sobs why can’t you do the same to me?! I did everything for you!”

“Are you delusional?! You wrecked my life! How am I supposed to do that?!”

“Y-yn?”

“Y/n? y/n wait! y/n! Y-Y/n? Where are you going? Please let me explain, I didn’t do it. They made me do it y/n it’s not me i promise y/n don’t leave me Qǐng bùyào líkāi wǒ, wǒ qiú nǐle. Wǒ ài nǐ y/n. Wǒ zhēn de ài nǐ y/n, qǐng bié líkāi wǒ. J-jebal-”

“Sunbae, your phone is ringing”

“Annyeonghaseyo,This is Yeo Seon-Da from Dispatch Korea. How may I help you?”

to be continued.

AN:HELLO I KNOW THIS IS TRASH, IT’S BECAUSE I’M TRASH AS WELL. LOL I’M JUST JOKING (IT’S TRUE) THIS IS THE RESULT OF ME WATCHING AND READING TOO MANY CHEATING AND DRAMATIC DRAMAS, WEBTOONS, MANGA, AND NOVELS.

THANK YOU FOR REACHING THIS PART AND READING THE STORY. PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO MORE TRASHY STORIES BY YOURS TRULY.

ALSO PLEASE SUPPORT THIS YEAR’S PROJECT NCT 2020. THEY ALREADY EARNED NEW TWO BELOVED MEMBERS SHOTARO AND SUNGCHAN. PLEASE SUPPORT AND LOVE ALL THE 23 MEMBERS. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM FIGHTING ABOUT THIS AND THAT, IT MAY AFFECT THE MEMBERS’ COMEBACK. THEY’RE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT AND GIVING THEIR BEST FOR US CZENNIES. LET’S DIVERT OUR ANGER AND HATRED TO THE UPCOMING SONGS AND MV BY VOTING,STREAMING IT AND SUPPORTING THE COMEBACK. LET’S ALL WORK HARD AND REPAY THE CONSTANT LOVE AND HAPPINESS THEY’RE GIVING US. LET’S GIVE THEM THE WIN THEY DESERVE!

시즈니할수있어! 모두 사랑하자!

[idonthaveanydamnidea]

second part of assa and maxence's interview phew

J : What do you think about it Maxence? No but basically, what we can see in s3 is that Eliott has several ways to flirt. At the start he has one a bit more delicate, I'd call that "allusive flirting". That is to say that he's making a lot of little innuendos, he's throwing hints like that, i'm especially thinking about...

Max : "Not necessarily a girl"? (bitch is this allusive for you???)

J : Yeah, that scene! Where he walks with Lucas

Max : At that point he attacks

A : I admit!

J : Yeah but actually, he attacks but at the same time is that really clear? because frankly, me, you tell me something like this... Maybe I would tell myself "I'm imagining things", isn't it a bit too cryptic? (okay i'm waiting can someone please start being eliott-cryptic with me)

Mar : You're replacing his hair also [here's there's a confusion cause what she says ("tu lui redresses l'épi") sounds like "tu lui redresses les pieds" = you're straightening his feet]

Max : I'm straightening his feet??

Mar : You're replacing his hair

Max : Oh his hair!

A : Oh yeah, yeah right!!

Max : But this is to know how to draw him, it's not a flirting technique, you see...

O : He wants to draw him to flirt with him

J : No but there's that and there's all the piano scene (my dudes if that's being allusive to you how the fuck do you usually flirt)... He's super intense in fact, Eliott.

A : Even in the look in his eyes. You have a look in your eyes, it's crazy

O : It's intense!

A : Like you see everything in his eyes, you're telling yourself, fuck that's crazy what are you thinking about to...? We would love to get into your head, like it's.... Really.

J : So the Eliott way, a bit cryptic like that, is it working on you or not? Or do you flirt like that? Are you practicing allusive flirting?

Max : No, Eliottesque!

J : I don't even know if that exists, I may have used all along a term that doesn't exist, but...

A : It wouldn't work on me.

J : You wouldn't understand

A : Actually, even if i did understand, you need to be straight forward. You have to tell me things straight, you have to tell be things clearly, if you're not clear I won't mind you. So, yeah.

O : That's a Basile

A : totally! And you know that when I did the Serieously test I got Basile? Serieously did a test on instagram where you answer a quiz and in the end you get a character from the gang, and i got Basile.

Max : I got Yann (oh same i think)

J : Yeah you're more Basile, well Basile is a bit heavy in s3, even tho he's kinda cute, but he's still annoying

A : Yeah he's still heavy

J : At least you understand!

A : Yeah no we understand but, right, not heavy like that

Max : You're gonna start getting hit on by guys that are gonna be like...

J : True be careful, cause really some people take everything really literally.

O : Still, Basile is cute.

A : He's too cute! I like Basile, I like his character

O : Especially what he tells Daphné at some point, so cute, like at the end of s3 he tells her "I know I'm annoying, but i'm gonna do everything to get better so I deserve you". That's dope!

A : Oooh that's too cute!

J : Basile is Oumar's favorite character

O : I love him

Max : It's mine too.

O : He's great

J : So Oumar is more team Basile than team Eliott about flirting

A : Ouch

Max : Ah yeah

O : No I don't do like Basile! I like Basile. I don't do like Basile.

A : And you what do you say?

J : Umm... I'm team.... About flirt? In skam? Eliott wouldn't work with me. Actually I would always ask myself, did I understand well, I would always be scared to imagine things

A : Yeah that's it

J : So me when there's a doubt it annoys me, I prefer when there's no doubt

J : Marine wouldn't it work on you? Would it work on you?

Mar : Uh... Yeah maybe yeah. Yeah. I like little games yeah.

J : You're Eliott-like in flirting then (shout out to the dude who's listening to his boss having a casual conversation about how she likes her flirt it's... kind of surreal)

Mar : It's possible yeah.

J : It's probable.

Mar : It's possible yeah. I think.

Max : Another!

A : You didn't answer! (why does this feel like a truth or dare I'm so entertained)

Max : I'm the most naive guy on earth. In fact I never notice it when someone flirts with me. It's... Not but it's hell

A : He's doing it on purpose I think

O : "Oh yeah, that's true, you like me???"

A : "Seriously?? I didn't know"

Max : I know that talking about that....

J : "Last time I wrote you "I love you" in a letter"! "Oh I didn't understand"

Max : No, but like, in high school my friends were laughing at me so much cause every time, well when I was at parties and a girl was coming to talk to me a little and stuff, and I was like "ah that's cool !" and I was leaving. And they were telling me "but dude, it was ok" and I was like "nonsense" and actually, two weeks after I was asking her and yes it was ok. And... I didn't see it.

J : So you have to be the one to start because you don't understand anything

Max : But yeah, I'm really bad too. I'm very shy in fact, so... I can't do it. But I prefer... I like the things a bit... Where you don't really know. When everything is given, it's fun too...

J : You like being in doubt

Max : Yeah yeah, I like that

J : I don't like like it

Max : I like it. A bit of mystery, you see

J : It fits

O : We'll go join Basile

A : We'll go join Basile!

J : We'll form a small team, with Basile.

O : Ouch [no for real just look at his face it's so funny]

J : Uh, Eliott has another thing, when he brings Lucas in his little secret place, on the petite ceinture, so for those who aren't parisians, the petite ceinture is an abandoned train rail. So he takes him there.

Max : It came out as so snob when you said it. "so, for those who aren't parisians..."

O : Oh right I didn't even notice!

Max : "For those who live in "province""

O : "Hello losers"

Max : Sorry

J : That's not what I meant at all. Excuse me

Max : Excuse me

O : "Excuse me other people, excuse me the rest of France"

Max : Because I [inaudible], we're going to get destroyed. Sorry.

J : I'm not going to make it

A : Stop you're making her uneasy!

Max : Yeah clearly

J : Basically.... I'll kill you!

O : I forgot! I'm gonna get fired.

J : There's a little scene that's a bit- Okay let's focus, i'm not gonna make it

Max : You are, you are

J : There's a little scene a bit strange, where he brings him in a sort of tunnel, in a dark, and he starts turning the light off. Eliott does this, he's turning the torch on and off, he disappears, he's putting him in the dark, he comes back...

A : That's...no, I would've lost it. You don't do that to me.

Max : Me neither! Don't look at me it's not me!

A : You did it! You don't do that actually!

J : It's a bit scary actually

Max : When David told me that I was like "Seriously? Really? He's gonna do that?" I don't like that thing at all.

J : Oh yeah?

Max : Well, when i saw it on screen it was okay, because it fits the character and everything, but when he told me "yeah you're gonna do that, you're gonna disappear and you're gonna be like are you scared? are you scared?", I was a bit like "hmphff". And when we shot it, we were seeing everything. Like when I was.. how do i say it.. Well look, there's a table I can do it for you, Lucas is here, and actually the camera was at this height, and i had the torch lamp here, i was turning it off, i was like, hop ! and Lucas had to be like "??" (YEAH GO AHEAD AND WALK ON MY DREAMS JUST LIKE THAT) And it was really hard to act, cause well, we were seeing each other. So there wasn't this thing, well the final effect comes off well, but no, you don't, well you never do that to someone, it's weird.

A : Yeah

J : No but you take me in a cave and you act like a psycho, serial killer

A : I'm gonna imagine things like crazy! I'm gonna leave

J : And who says "you're scared uh???"

O : Well yeah I'm scared

Max : The sadistic guy

J : "and now you're afraid?" "well yeah I'm afraid, leave me alone". You never had moments like this kind of scary,first kisses stories? What was your worst... No ? Your worst memory? There's not any? Assa is like "complete censorship"

A : I don't see what you're talking about, I'm.... no, doesn't ring any bell.

Mar : You okay?

Max : I'm okay, and you? You good? What are you reading? What are you doing?

A : and you Oumar?

O : What are you talking about? I didn't understand. I don't understand what it means

A : Yeah same.

O : I think that's a joker.

A : Anyways, on screen the scene was great (she's trying to save the ship from drowning a+ changing topics smoothly)

Max : I love her eye makeup (???)

A : Seriously?

Max : Yeah and... Yeah. Next?

J : no but, anyways you disturbed me so much that I want to give up on you

Max : Okay, well if you want I'll take your place I'll continue the interview.

J : So no anecdotes? (lady just drop it everyone's uneasy) You're all... You've never lived anything?

A : No. Not much. What about you?

J : Me...

O : Yes, you wanna tell us!

J : No but for me it's all cute, my first kiss was in the forest, when I was 9, and actually it disgusted me because I found it dirty and I washed my mouth for three days.

Mar : Without ever stopping

J : Without ever stopping? I did stop!

Max : I'll join you I'll support you. (truth or dare I'm telling you) Mine was vaguely the same, I was in a holiday camp, to [some town name I don't understand] to do motocross in the mountains, and we did a party, i was 11 i think something like that, and, there was a girl who was like, two heads taller than me and uh, we were on a couch and she was making out with me and she had eaten mnms. And it was awful, actually it made me sick and I went to bed like I had a bellyache and everything it disgusted me too. See, I shot myself in the foot for you.

J : It's nice, thanks, thanks, thanks.

O : He was super nice. We'll let you in trouble and we're getting to season 4.

tumblr is doing shit so the following and end tomorrow!

[ecmlol]

Jude sits quietly waiting for Noah to tell him what’s going on.

“ so what do you want to know”

“ you could have warn me Mark was a ex boyfriend.”

“ awww your messy jealous side is showing “ noah smiles.

“ not funny noah”

“ first he’s not a ex Dane. There really isn’t nothing to tell. It was New Years 5 years ago I was really drunk off my ass. This was just after my ex dying.i was morning he was the only guy at the party that likes men. You know what I don’t even remember what happened besides me kissing him .I’ll let Mark tell you everything else.”

“Noah no I believe you. you don’t have to..”

“No no you want to know what happened.“noah walks to the office door and opens it.

“ mark can you come here and tell him what happened that night I don’t remember. Much.”Noah say

Mark walks in and Noah walks out.

“ Noah !” Jude calls out.

Mark smiles and closes the door behind him.

He’s not bad looking. Jude thinks to himself about Everything that noah has said about smaller men comes back to him. Jude knows it’s just his insecurities talking.

Jude plays with his wedding bands.

Jude quietly sizes up the other man in the room. Jude is in his element he can play it cool.

Jude crosses his arms.

“ so you want know about our one night stand huh a couple of months ago.”mark say.

“Nice try . Noah is the most honest person I know and if he say it was 5 years ago then it was 5 year ago.”

“You passed the test. Noah deserves the best he’s a great catch. He doesn’t need a guy that doesn’t trust him. “

“So what did happen that night?”

Mark sits back and get comfortable like he is ready to spill his guts.

“ poor Noah he was so screwed up after his ex passed away. He was drunk off his ass that night. This was the first time we meet. He told me all about his ex of course.At first it was just talking and crying. Then kissing and I promise I tried everything to get him up. I did but nothing worked.He was way to drunk to do anything. So at the end of the night I turned into a giant teddy bear.”mark say with regrets in his voice.

“Thats it?”

“ yeah unless you want to hear about him apologizing for crying all over me. I really don’t think he remembers all the head I tried to give him.” Mark says.

Jude sits back and nods.

5 years is a long time . Jude thinks. He trust noah but can he trust Mark. No he can’t anyone that would try to have sex with someone that was blackout drunk is one step away from a rapist. That makes Jude uncomfortable

Mark gets up .

“ ok I have one question and we don’t ever have to talk about this again because it’s only embarrassing for noah.

“And what’s that?”

“He’s huge isn’t he because he’s impressive soft.”

Jude will never get use to how openly other gay men talk about sex with strangers.

Jude gives a nonchalant shrug as his reply. Wouldn’t you like to know.jude thought to himself

“ I guess I have been luck all the men I have dealt with have been what and what in size.” That was the best lie jude has told in a long time. Lucas and zero were around the same size but noah is definitely a bit longer and thicker. There was a adjustment period with Noah.

“Hey a guy can try”

Jude gets up and heads for the door.Noah is standing outside the door.

“ so every things good?”noah ask

“Fine” Jude say

Jude is pretty sure his face said something else.

“ o...k ..good” noah says in a uneasy tone.

Jude heads to the kitchen to lay out all the snacks on the counter.

“ want some help?”noah ask wanted to know what happened.

“ no I’ve got it you just keep playing.” jude say as he takes out the three crockpot that connects together to make three different hot dips. Jude bought it just for game days .

As the gamers settled in jude started the spinach dip then the chili cheese and lastly a pizza dip. Jude learned that Pinterest is his new best friend thanks to ofc Murray. Jude can hear someone commenting about him cooking in the middle of someone’s character getting hurt or something . Jude couldn’t figure out what was going on even if he cared and that is fine with him. Jude thought as he puts out bowls and chips. Jude took Noah’s corn nut dispenser out of the cabinet and set it out and then pours a bag of m&m into a bowl just for Noah.

Jude walks over and sits the corn nuts and m&m down on the TV tray next to noah. Of course noah is lost in the game. Which is fine by Jude he’s use to that. This is the only time noah doesn’t give jude his full attention.

Jude cleans up and heads to his office to read a nother pregnancy book. About a hour later the house starts to full with the smell of the cooking dips and the gamers arguing over a quick break.

A minute later there is a knock at the door and then noah walks in.

“ hey you busy?”

“ no no just reading and relaxing what’s up? Need more chips?”

Noah walks over and drapes himself over jude and kiss him hard.

Jude pulls away and smiles.

“ what’s that for?”

“ well alot of reasons”

“Like...?”

“One I love you two my friends are impressed by you three I’m kicking ass out there four you are seriously the best hostess with the mostess and your all mine!.”

Jude smiles and thinks to himself nailed it! Jude is slowly getting use to the idea that his husband actually has friends unlike zero who had no friend and no one liked.

“ oh ok that works” jude says with a smug smile.

Jude gives noah a quick kiss on the cheek and goes back to reading.

“ so you seemed weird out after your talk with Mark what’s wrong “

“ I know he’s your friend but he tried to take advantage of you when you were drunk noah. Just promise me you won’t drink around him.”

“ ok not a problem “

“ ok good glad your not going to fight with me about this”

Jude runs his hand down Noah’s back and then back up to his slightly longer then normal hair. Noah some how talked lionel into letting him grow his hair out a little and facial hair.Jude likes it.

“So what are you reading?”noah ask

“Just a book of baby names. Do you have any ideas.”

“ man are you trying to cancel game day.You are amazing “ noah kisses Jude’s neck.

Jude smiles and relaxes as noah keeps kissing his spot.

“What do you think of Noel. we can keep it biblical? Yes it a boys name but maybe we can keep it neutral like Lionel’s name.

“We are kinda a ironic couple I’m liking biblical and neutral. I also like Jeremiah “noah say

“ your still stuck on that name when I don’t like it”

“ yes I’d love to name her after you in some way. My favorite girl named after my favorite guy”noah says

“That’s sweet but what about naming her after you mom.”

“Jacquline? Pretty sure it’s not biblical or neutral .”

“We can make it neutral but the biblical part might have to go out

“ ok that is better then Judy or Judith or Jerry? So how do you want to change it up?

“Well we can shorten in to Jax could be her nickname it could be a homage to your mom and our first vacation together.we started off in Jacksonville aka Jax .or we can spell it Jaxuline. It would be different and make more sense when we call her Jax.”

“ it’s a little ghetto Jude. “

“ ok we can keep it traditional then if you want. I think your dads will like it.”

“ I know they would are you trying to earn brownie points with them?”

“ it can’t hurt” jude says

“Can we think about some more? we have plenty of time?”noah says

“Hey breaks over “ Mike says  through the door.

“ come on noah this is a shit break and a snack break not a quickie break”mark says

“ got to go my Dane. My people are calling me.”noah says as he gets up off of jude and heads for the door.

“ love you” noah says

“ love you too” jude say

Jude watched as noah walks away. He takes out his iPad and starts to make a list of names he likes.

The rest of the day goes by pretty quickly. Jude stocks up the kitchen counter one more time before heading to bed.

“ I’m heading to bed .I restocked to kitchen guy. Enjoy the rest of the night . Nice meeting you all.”

There are a few waves and grunts as Jude heads toward noah to give him a quick kiss. Jude leans over and kisses noah on the cheek.

“ oh hey”noah looks up from the game.

“Night”

“ oh yeah night.” Noah says

As Jude walks away a few of the gamers wish him a good night and gave him compliments on the dips.

In the morning jude wakes up alone. Jude can hear the gamers still at it down the hall. Jude rolls over and stretches. This wasn’t so bad jude thinks to himself.Jude actually has enjoyed the pass day. Staying at home getting some work done and having little make out session with Noah ever so often was nice.Maybe he could host every game day. It would make knowing Mark is around a little easier. If he does that he might make enemies with the rest of the gamers Significant others.Thats the last thing Jude wants.

Jude digs through his cloths and found the T-shirt that he wore at Disney with Noah and put it on with a pair of sweats and walks out of the bedroom after a pit stop in the master bathroom.

In the living room mike is packing up his bags and chairs.

“ morning” mikes says

“Hey. where’s everyone “Jude ask

“ everyone is outside loading up.”noah says

“ oh ok”jude looks around and sees everything is back in it place. A second later noah walks in.

Noah is looks around like he is looking for something.

“What’s wrong noah?”jude ask

Noah looks up and sees Jude .

“Oh hey. Just looking for jakes other shoe.”

Jude looks under the couch.

“ found it.” Jude shows noah the black slide he found under the couch.

“ perfect thanks Dane.”

“Hey I will send you a email about the benefits when I get home.”mike says as he heads to the door.

“ awesome I can’t wait. I’ll see If i can scrounge up so stuff with the players for auction. I’m sure someone needs a tax write off .”noah says

“ it is a good cause”Mike says

“ what’s the charity”

“ helping hands is a organization that raises money for Kids infected or affected with aides and hiv we help where the insurance doesn’t”Mike says

“ ok that’s awesome. What do you need for your auction? Devils tickets maybe a devilgirl appearance? A cash donation maybe?”Jude asked

“Wow Thank you anything you like to give is welcomed”

“ what about a booth at family day in a few days. “ Noah suggest

“ that’s a great suggestion is that too short of notice?”jude asked

“ no no I can figure something out . Thank you.”Mike says

“ no problem I’ll call the organizer and tell them to expect you”jude says.

Jude hands noah the shoe and he hands it’s to mike to give to Jake.

“ thanks you Jude and the house is great!” Mike says as he walks out.

Noah closes the door and turns to jude.

“ have fun?”jude ask

Noah walks over to jude so he can wraps his arms around Jude’s waist.

“Yes I won some and I lose some but I missed sleeping in bed with you.”Noah says as he kissing Jude’s cheek.

“ I missed you too.”jude smiles and rubs his hands up Noah’s arms

“ I know I peeked in on you last night. You slept on my side of the bed. “

Jude smiles and shrugs.

“So are you ready for family day and your birthday In a few days”

“ no I’m nervous about speaking to the whole arena”

“ maybe it won’t be packed.”

“ I doubt it there are some major venders and players meet and greets, devilgirls meet and greets and lots of games and raffles.”

“ it sounds like fun.”noah say

“ that was the aim”

“ you will be great ok ”noah say as he kisses down Jude’s neck

“Thanks ”jude says

“ you have been up all night do you really think your up for this?” Jude says as he walks backwards to the bedroom.

“ I know I’m not up for it but I was hoping you cuddle with me for a while alittle while because you missed me.”noah

“ I guess “ jude says with a smirk.

Jude stops once he’s against the bed . He steps to the side and moves behind noah.

“Hey where are you going” noah turns around to see where jude went.

Jude pushes noah on to the bed and starts to undress him.

“I’m putting you in bed.”

“ ok that works for me.”

Jude tosses his shirt and then his sweats and then pulls off Noah’s shorts.

“Go on get under the covers.

“ yes sir so have you figured out what my punishment is?”

“ well my backer would like to meet you but you can’t interview him.”

“ zero wants to meet me ?”

“ yes he does. I’m not happy about this and I’m not going . I don’t want to go” Jude say as he runs his hands over Noah’s chest

Jude frowns.

“ when did he tell you this?

“ last night” jude say as he repeat the same motion with his hand.

Noah knows jude is nervous . Jude always seems to do this when he’s nervous and it doesn’t help that he ‘s frowning too.

“ hey Dane it’s going to be ok. I’ll meet with him and convince him that he would rather have a payment plan or maybe be a silent Partnership.”

Jude sighs

“ I really don’t think he’s going to go for any of that. He has money noah.”

“ true the only thing he doesn’t have is ....you”noah says as he stops Jude’s wondering hand.

Jude looks up.

“ come here I need to cuddle with my Dane. I think my tired wheels are starting to turn.”

Jude sighs and lays down next to noah.

Noah pulls jude in tightly against his chest.

“ we can figure this out. I promise you ok.”

Jude’s birthday week

Jude and Noah have been avoiding the subject of zero like the plague. Which is fine by Jude. Jude does have a strange feeling like Noah is planning something big for his birthday but he doesn’t have a clue to what it could be. Jude started to notice noah has been taling to a lot of people. Yes noah is friendly but it seems like he’s been friendlier then normal. Then there is the texting every time he sees him. He’s text someone.Jude finally asked noah if he was up to something and Noah just smiles and shoves his phone in his pocket . Jude isn’t used to anyone making a big deal about his birthday. When he was with zero they had one conversation about it and Jude never brought it up again after zero said he hated birthdays because of growing up in the system. Now jude doesn’t know how he feels about some big celebrations for his birthday. Then the doubt sets in what if it’s all in Jude’s head and Noah forgets about his birthday.

“Earth to jude”

Jude shakes himself out of his thoughts.

“ yeah sorry” jude says as he turns into their neighborhood.

“ I thought we were getting chicken from the grocery store why did you turn?”noah asked

“ oh sorry I’m on autopilot.”

“ yeah this whole time I think I have been talking to myself. jude what’s wrong.”

“ I just have a lot on my mind.”

“ talk to me “

“ ok what’s going on? You have been acting really strange ”Jude asked

“ how are you going to ask me that again when it’s your birthday week “

There is no hesitation from noah when he answered. Jude smiles.

“ ok”jude turns the car around and heads to the store

“ that’s it?”

“Yeah it’s all good. I’m sorry for asking again “Jude tells

“O..k” noah sits back and watches Jude on the way to the store.

I can’t wait for this week to be over. Noah thinks to himself. Keeping everything that they has been planning to himself is driving noah nuts. It’s so hard not tell jude everything that is going on.

“ so what do you think about Johnson and Ritters? I know you meet with them before the draft a few months ago.”

“ they are a good team on their own. It would have been a shame if they would have been drafted separately.”

“ do you think the rumor are true?”

“ are you interviewing me noah?” Jude smiles and rolls his eye.

“My mic is on the charger. This is just me wanting to know what you think.did you get a vibe off them”

“ a vibe? Like....”

“ oh come on Jude you don’t think they are a couple?”

“ isn’t it a rule that you don’t out anyone one that not ready to be out and proud?”

“ Jude you know I won’t say anything I’m just curious because they don’t hide it very well. I talk to the other players already they pointed it out first.”

“ oh.”jude knows all about his two new players. He received a email from them yes one email sent from both of them. They have been friends sinces child hood. They grow up together and went to the same high school. They even got into the same college. They contacted jude to asked to become devils. Apparently they outed themselves to every organization hoping that no one would draft them. It worked and Jude was able to pick them both up in the last round. Jude has already gotten with all the trainers coaches and staff to remind them of the devil’s no bullying policy . The players are next on the list.

“ wait you said out someone. You knew this whole time didn’t you.”

“ I’m not saying a word.” Jude says.

“ your silence is a answer you know.”

“ why does it matter so much.”

“ well you can gossip with me and it won’t go any where.”

“ you know I’m not big on gossip “

“ I know but you have such good gossip Jude”

Jude shrugs.

The rest of the evening is pretty normal a little dancing a little gaming and a little reading for jude.

Noah’s birthday surprise is full steam aheads.

The week goes by quickly and it’s the night before family day and Jude’s birthday .

Noah’s in the bathroom after eating something at dinner that didn’t agree with him.

“ you ok in there.” Jude says through door.

“ oh my god I’m never eating India food again.” Noah say

“ hey can I get your phone? I need to get on instagram to wish my brother a happy birthday.”

“ give me a second to finish up I’m playing a game”

“ Noah I have 5 minutes before it’s not his birthday.i don’t want him to think I don’t know. You said I shouldnt antagonize him.”jude reminds Noah.

“Ok ok come in if you dare.”

Jude opens the door and is hit with a smell that turns his stomach.

“ wow yeah no more india food for you”

“ here take it and go “

“ your sweating you ok?”

“ Jude I love you but please go”

Jude can hear Noah’s stomach bubble up.

Jude quickly leaves.

Jude cringes at the noises he hears through the door

“I’m seriously the little spoon tonight” jude calls out as he looks for the icon on Noah’s phone.

“ tell me what your sending him.”

“Happy birthday “

“ don’t send that jude”

“ why”

“Because it’s not personal and it’s your first message to your brothers.”

“ ok tell me what I need to say. I don’t want to screw it up.”

“ Dane you won’t just send the message that you would want from him.”

“Ok”

Jude takes a deep breath and starts to type.

Hey big brother I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. It’s crazy that it’s the big 30 and we haven’t even meet.Come to family day at the arena tomorrow @11am it’s all day I’ll be there. It should be fun. Jude

Jude reads it to Noah.

“ see I told you wouldn’t screw it up”noah says from the bathroom.

“ you almost done I’d like to brush my teeth.”

“ yeah I think I’m done.”noah say as he flushes the toilet.

Noah comes out looking slightly worn out like he just left the gym.

Jude hands Noah’s his phone back and steps pass noah . Noah grabs Jude’s arm.

“ happy birthday Dane”noah shows Jude the clock on his phone.

Jude smiles.

“Thanks hubby”

“ hubby?aww”noah says to tease Jude

“ hey I’m not as good at the cutesy names like you”

Jude’s phone rings on the nightstand.

“Dane my sexy 30 year old your phone is ring it’s your mom”

“ answer it for me”

“ of course”

Noah stretches out and grabs Jude’s phone.

Noah press the answer button

Patty and Justice Appears on the screen singing

“Oh your not my brother”

“ I’m your brother in law so I’m just not the right brother.”

“ oh yeah now where’s my jude?”Justice says

“ excuse my daughter it’s pass her bed time noah she’s a little grumpy “

[survivorsolomonislands]

Final Episode “Im pretty exhausted from this game anyways” (Aromal)

So I've now officially reached my past best placement - 5th in Malaysia!! And with my Hidden Immunity Idol, I'm set to beat it, and make it to F4 where the Rites of Passage are. Making Rites of Passage is honestly always one of my BIG goals every time I play so FINALLY getting to reach that mark is absolutely HUGE. In other news, RTP called me out on his way out the door, but nobody really paid it any heed - maybe bc he pissed everybody off so much?? Anyways, I'm really set to make the end of this game even WITHOUT my HII. So now the real determinant is whether or not I win Individual Immunity again. If I do, I'll go with Aro and Luca's plan to ice Allie, convince Willow... but then give Allie the Idol, vote for Luca, and get his ass outta here, forcing Aro to need my vote at F4 and forcing a tie. Hopefully. Now that I'm thinking about it, there's nothing stopping Allie/Aro/Willow from icing ME at that point, but... if they did... nvm. I don't think that they would. If I'm not immune, the Idol is all mine, but who gets voted out I'm still undecided on. Is the pair of Allie and Willow really a threat when they want to get to the end with me, or when Willow's intended F3 is with myself and Aro? If that's the case, why lose Allie now and risk underdog Luca making the end and picking up easy votes like Jacob, Johnny, and RTP. Looking at FTC, I've got Dana and Matt on lock, and I really do think I could get Zak even against Aro. I might have a shot at Johnny, I think RTP will vote for me, Jacob and LA are question marks that I lean against me, and I'd say Lexi doesn't vote for me like... ever. This is gonna get so spicy and I can fucking taste the victory. It's SO DAMN CLOSE and I've worked SO DAMN HARD and I don't wanna get iced when it's right around the corner. Fuck. I need this. I fucking need this.

With Ryan gone, the game is nearing the end. Right now it's me and Aromal trying to flip Willow onto Mitchell. Otherwise, we've lost this game.

Maaaan Im so nervous for this tribal. Me and Luca are definitely voting for Mitchell but we have to be careful in trying to swing Allie or Willow otherwise this is going to blow up in our faces.

It's been five or so days since our last tribal so everybody was getting stir crazy, but now it's all come to a head!! Willow won immunity, which was fine, bc the two targets were Allie and Luca. Now I'd harbored thoughts about making a #bigmove by making everyone vote for Allie and then Idoling her but... that's a reckless and unnecessary big move that paints me as an even bigger target than I know myself to be while also causing distrust among my peers. So Luca's gonna go home 4-1, I'm gonna use my Idol to guarantee myself F4 even though I won't receive a single vote, and then I'm one challenge win away from the FTC, where I'd like to think that I will win. At the F4, I'm set - I have a F3 with Aro and Willow that I intend to stick to, but I ALSO have a F3 with Allie and Willow, so should Allie win immunity I'll be DANCIN. I've worked to get to the point where everyone in the game likes me and trusts me, and zooweemama I can't believe I'm actually gonna win. I've come this close and convinced myself that it's my time, so if it's not, I'm gonna be heartbroken. I've put so much into this game and it's gonna all pay off, I just KNOW that it will. I wanna follow in the footsteps of Jenn and Jimmy who made FTC post-Malaysia, and I wanna join Kait and Jenn as Malaysia winners. It's gonna be my time. KNOW that - it's gonna be my time.

I'm shitting myself. I'm terrified of what Mitchell's reaction is gonna be, Im terrified about him having a potential idol, I'm terrified of Willow(our swing vote)  snitching to him, FUCK Willow just messaged me saying she was really hesitant about voting Mitchell. I don't wanna push too hard but it has to be done otherwise I am going to get absolutely blasted at final tribal. I'm fairly confident about making it to final tribal, but I'm debating who I have a better chance with. I'm leaning towards taking Willow and Allie right now because Luca has the underdog thing going for him but ahh its so difficult. I just wanna get this season over withhh

OH MY GOD THAT CHALLENGE WAS WILD! Half of the things didn't make sense, and I didn't know what I was doing 90% of the time, but I still somehow won immunity which is crazy! This literally means I'm guaranteed f4 which is crazy, like I never actually thought I would make it this far in my first org ever. Tonight I think pretty much everyone is gonna vote for Mitchell, which I guess is what I wanted, since he's my biggest threat. But I'm still sorta sad about it bc I love Mitchell, he's been one of my closest allies since the beginning of this game on nuMakira. I mean I need to do it to better myself in this game, bc I might actually have a shot at winning but idk I'm still kinda sad about it. I hope he can understand though and that we can be friends, but I have a feeling he might be sorta mad. I also think he might have an idol, bc he didn't really give me a direct answer and he lied about it last time, so I guess at this point I just need to hope he doesn't have an idol, or that he doesn't play it, bc if he does then I guess I'm screwed.  

Why do I have a funny feeling I'm getting Bret Labelle'd out tonight? Mitchell is the biggest threat, Willow! Don't pull a Hannah

i told them all after last tribal, "I hope y'all ready for shit to get messy bc my ass is winning final immunity challenge." and my ass DID. my ass did THAT. i have fucking made it to day 39. i'm not one to get emotional, but i've been playing ORGs for a few years now. not like other people, who always jump into them - i've done like one ORG every school year for a few years. this is my seventh total. and i made it to the end my very first one, back when I still played entirely over email, and lost to an inactive at the final tribal. and it's eaten away at me since. how could i work so hard and come so close just to fall short to that? but that was a different time and a different me, and i finally fucking did it again. 2nd, 11th, 9th, 5th, 12th, 5th... and now at least 3rd. I fucking made it here again and I can't believe it. Shout-out to Allie - I didn't think I had a shot once we got to the last stage. I was in so much pain and didn't know how much fight I had left in me but goddamn I pulled it off like i said i was gonna and now my ass can't be grassed and my ass in the final three i can't describe what this is like. i'm sure the org community can relate as a whole to wanting something so bad, and working so hard to make it happen, and now to have your chance, your shot, be actualized... it's incredible. it's a phenomenal feeling and i really hope i can now seal the deal and pull this shit off. it's not a guarantee. and hell, i still don't even know who i'm voting for. but i did it. i fucking DID THAT. mitchell kalabang fucking did that and all these fake killas don't know who the fuck they made the mistake of trying to ice. you can't ice fire and that's exactly why you don't dance with fire, bc ur ass is gonna get BURNED and mitchell kalabang is a fucking GOLDEN GOD

(later)

So after last tribal when they tried to ICE MY ASS i went around very boldly telling everyone that i was gonna win FIC and they better get their shit straightened out for when that happens. allie and i make a deal to vote out willow, i focus all my plans on winning, and then BAM surprise it fuckin HAPPENS and now i am left with a choice to make - do i vote out willow or do i vote out allie? and while i'm weighing this choice, willow for a stronger story should she be able to articulate it and allie for having what i perceive to be more friends and a stronger perception among the jurors, aro asks me to vote him off i say "...what" and he says that he doesn't want to be a FTC loser, and that he'll support me on the jury. he knows he's gonna lose and doesn't want to waste time on all the proceedings, so he'd rather help me win. and that sounds GREAT. that puts like 4 votes i expect on the jury - dana, matt, zak, and aro. if i can grab 1 more, i doubt willow/allie can grab all the other 5 - i win. and i'm like "...aro if u want this u got it bud" And then comes the hard part of convincing willow/allie to do it. have they really been #secretpairbewaring their way through this game? that's a possibility, but i think both of them rightfully perceive each other to be their biggest threat that they can vote for. we all know aro is going to lose. so with allie, it's easier - she says she didn't want to have to vote out willow anyways and is ok with voting out aro. and then miss willow tries hard to convince me to grass allie's ass anyways, so i strong-arm her a lil bit. say if i vote aro, and she and allie vote each other, she's playing russian roulette - aro either votes for her or allie, and if her gambit to ice allie works, that's fine and dandy... but there's a 50% chance she gets iced herself. thus, the only way to save herself is in doing what i want by voting out aro. and willow is understandably not fully in love with this plan, and she just asked me if i'm doing this to split jurors' votes between allie and herself. that's partially true - it's certainly a benefit. but willow is in no position to fight with me here, and she's particularly in no position to actually DO anything about it. sure, i know that aro is throwing his vote to allie, but SHE doesn't. as far as she knows, doing what i want guarantees herself a worst-case tie and a best-case F3 spot. if she does something else, she might vote herself out. she doesn't have a choice. winning FIC gives you so much fucking power and i genuinely believe that i can take any of these fools in the F3 so if they wanna be stupid and gamble with their lives then they can go right ahead and grass they own asses but y'all can't ice a golden fuckin god

So I feel like Im pretty much done. Id rather get 4th than go through FTC and get like one vote. I tried my hardest to stop Mitchell but unfortunately it didnt work out. Oh well, Im pretty exhausted from this game anyways.

Ahh so Mitchell winning the FIC wasn't the greatest scenario that could have happened but whatever. I'm a little dissapointed in myself that I accidentally talked but I can't go back now. Anyway I don't really have any shot at winning this game anymore So I guess I'm just gonna go with everyone else and vote out Aro tonight, even though Aro is the one with the least amount of chance of winning (imo). Mitchell is saying that he wants to vote out Aro this round bc he thinks he's some secret threat, and like yeah Aro has played an alright strategic game but I don't think he's made enough social connections. Anyway I think the real reason Mitchell wants Aro out this round is bc at FTC the people who are mad at Mitchell might split the votes between me and Allie. Anyway if Mitchell weren't here then I might have an okay shot at winning this game but now I don't. So congrats Mitchell Kalabang on winning Solomon Islands! Also since this is probably going to be my last confessional I just wanted to say that I had an amazing time playing this game! I've met a bunch of wonderful people and it was my first org ever and I plan on continuing to play more orgs!

can't BELIEVE we're starting the FINAL TRIBAL COUNCIL FJWRIUHDsnfiucrehdsnuifvhrenfsfchrd I worked so fuckin hard and so fuckin long and we're here. I I expect to get Dana, Matt, Zak, and Aro... that's 4/10. I just need to pull one more, which can prob come from RTP or Luca... and I don't think Willow/Allie are getting 5 votes so ! LA maybe, but Lex and Jacob are pretty much gone, and Johnny... who knows. But it's been a wild fuckin ride from food poisoning to 2 idol plays to 2 individual immunities to the final fuckin three. Hosts, miss willow, miss allie... it's been a wild ride. Good luck and good RIDDANCE

FINAL 3!! I never thought I would make it this far, I know Im not gonna win but I had a blast thank you! 

[dubbalshs]

Make me admit stuff? 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? last person i text messaged was callie so noooo haha
2. You talked to an ex today, correct? i have not. i haven't spoken to him in a week
3. Have you taken someones virginity? nope
4. Is trust a big issue for you? honestly, no. i feel like at this point it should be, especially since felix poured all my secrets out to my mom, but it isn't really lmao
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? i have a crush on literally everyone so like yeah
6. What are you excited for? im excited to go to john abbott
7. What happened tonight? uhh last night i hung out with michael and went to mount royal and had an amazing time, and tonight i'm planning to go to acoustic
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? nah, i dig it and i relate and i wanna be them, only thing is don't be a burden on other people and be safe
9. Is confidence cute? yes lmao i'm kinda into cockiness too
10. What is the last beverage you had? milk
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? uhhh quite a bit. michael, lorne, matteo, brandon, felix still to an extent lmao well actually like no not really 
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? ya 
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? i have no clue. probably not much
14. What are you going to spend money on next? beer lol
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? nope but i'm sleeping over at his place again tonight lol
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? yeah of course. i plan to become happier and to be productive and idk to mature and grow and get over some things
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? annie definitely
18. The last time you felt broken? like yesterday lmao all the time
19. Have you had sex today? no but i'm planning to
20. Are you starting to realize anything? yeah i'm starting to realize that felix wasn't perfect and did a lot of shitty things and also idk that the people who want to be around will be and that you can love someone with all your heart but still be ready and willing to get over them
21. Are you in a good mood? yeah and i'm definitely trying to be
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? no lmao i'm not even a good swimmer
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? nope his are blue mine are brown 
24. What do you want right this second? idk maybe to be hanging out with a friend, maybe for lucas to message me so i can get hyped for tonight and feel better about it all
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? "that's fair" (lmao it would probably be felix and it wouldn't hurt too much tbh i don't think it would change how he feels about me and i've kissed my fair share since the break up)
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? at the top of my head yes at the bottom no it's more red ish 
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? like everyone can make me laugh cause when they find something funny and are being all cute it makes me laugh but i've definitely dated guys with diff senses of humour before like todd wasn't that funny imo but i still laughed
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? probably michael's family they're so funny
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? not in this exact moment but i do miss felix quite a bit 
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? not everyone. like sometimes they really do deserve it but i'd say also a lot of the time it's your own decision whether you want to give them a second chance, it's not something they innately deserve
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? idk if this means talking like just talking or romantically but either way no
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i dont really know that i have feelings for anyone i guess the closest is still felix and i think he knows i love him
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? definitely not haha
34. Listening to? music but i paused it so nothing rn
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? ya but usually led pencil
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? probably in my old apartment tbh but i don't know for a fact
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? no lmao
38. Who did you last call? michael !!
39. Who was the last person you danced with? danced? i guess like at the club probably matthew westernoff lmao or david
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
idk i wanted to and it was a good time 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? i have no clue
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no but i will !!
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? im sure i have i just can't think of anything
44. Do you tan in the nude? nah
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? no haha
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? uhh i texted annie till i fell asleep
47. Who was the last person to call you? my distant education school to tell me my exam mark 
48. Do you sing in the shower? i do if im home alone
49. Do you dance in the car? YES definitely haha
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? nope
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? maybe never ? unless like family photos by family friends count but that's like not professional and that's years ago
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? they can be but it's good shit !!
53. Is Christmas stressful? like it can be but it doesn't have to be
54. Ever eat a pierogi? like one that my mom made so defs more asian than not. or frozen ones haha
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? probably apple
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? singer hahaha
57. Do you believe in ghosts? no
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? yeah i get it a lot and it freaks me out
59. Take a vitamin daily? nope
60. Wear slippers? no
61. Wear a bath robe? no
62. What do you wear to bed? usually a big shirt and underwear 
63. First concert? hilary duff hahaha
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? eh walmart i guess
65. Nike or Adidas? both are good
66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos i guess ?
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts cause i'm shit at eating sunflower seeds lmao
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? i love a bunch of them
69. Ever take dance lessons? ya i used to do ballet and tap and jazz. favorite was ballet. 
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? no clue lmao
71. Can you curl your tongue? ya
72. Ever won a spelling bee? nope 
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? i THINK i have but not sure 
74. What is your favorite book? no clue lol
75. Do you study better with or without music? definitely better without music but i listen anyway
76. Regularly burn incense? no
77. Ever been in love? yeah !! i just was haha
78. Who would you like to see in concert? the front bottoms 
79. What was the last concert you saw? the lumineers !! so good
80. Hot tea or cold tea? hot tea lmao you wildin
81. Tea or coffee? coffee
82. Favorite type of cookie? chocolate chip i guess
83. Can you swim well? like i can swim but i don't think well but like i won't drown in a pool
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? ya
85. Are you patient? nooooo omg me and annie talk constantly about how impatient we are
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? uhhh i think band is more romantic but lbr a dj probably sounds better
87. Ever won a contest? yeah i think so. ok ya that national flag thing and probably others
88. Ever have plastic surgery? nope
89. Which are better black or green olives? fuck an olive i love myself
90. Opinions on sex before marriage? pretty good imo lmao 
91. Best room for a fireplace? like living room i guess ? i don't understand 
92. Do you want to get married? yes !!! it'll be lit