#also god I hate fluff why is life hard aa

[justmysicklypride]

“Am I your lockscreen?” For Shizaya :>

Glace holy shit this took so fucking long why must you torture me with the trope I suck the most at writing lmaooo

(Pairing: Shizaya) (duh)

Heart's Gravitation

Shizuo amusedly watched as a slow blush started to spread across Izaya’s face, as the words he said finally reached the other’s ears. It’s cute, he thought, like watching a flower bloom for the first time. He knows it’s possible, Izaya being embarrassed that is, but it doesn’t always happen, so it’s a welcomed sight to see when it does. Especially when Shizuo’s the one causing it. He kinda wanted to see if he could make him blush even more.

“Hey, Izaya,” Shizuo said, wrapping his arm around Izaya’s waist, who, engrossed in whatever email he’d been typing up, was pointedly ignoring him now. Shizuo was glad that they were away from the crowd. He asked again, “Am I your lockscreen?”

This time, Shizuo did laugh, as Izaya wordlessly locked his phone without even pressing send, and covered his face with his hands. At least he was right, the blush did get worse. Izaya tried to move away, so Shizuo tightened his hold on him, making it so that his attempts of hiding became less like ‘attempts’, and more like helpless squirming. He heard Izaya groan in frustration as he became more and more resigned to his fate.

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” Izaya whined, leaning his face into Shizuo’s chest now to hide even further. 

Shizuo and Izaya weren’t an affectionate couple by any means, and nine times out of ten Izaya’s always the one that’s one step ahead of Shizuo when it comes to their good-natured (and obviously occasionally ill-natured) teasing, so when an opportunity to thoroughly embarrass Izaya arises… Well, naturally, Shizuo’s not going to give it up that easily.

“Aw, don’t be embarrassed,” Shizuo said, pulling Izaya closer and resting his chin on top of the latter’s head. “I think it’s cute that you like me so much that you feel the need to see me wherever you go.”

“Shut up. Stop saying that, will you,” Izaya finally looked up, face still slightly flushed and trying his best to look threatening. 

Oh how the tables have turned. 

He looked into the crowd, and then past it to catch a glimpse of Mairu and Kururi in their karate uniforms getting ready to spar their opponents. Really, only Izaya was meant to be here, since he is, in a way, their legal guardian after all. Shizuo just tagged along because Izaya wanted him to, although he had a feeling the latter was regretting his decision around about now. As much as he wanted to just take Izaya’s hand and go somewhere nice and private like a cafe or even a secluded area in a park, Mairu and Kururi had insisted on having them watch when they finally receive their green belts at the end of the class.

It was why they were standing at the very back of the dojo, away from all the other parents (not like they were really parents to begin with), and Shizuo thought that Mairu and Kururi would be annoyed when they found out that they’ve just been absorbed and indulging in each other’s presence, rather than watch their tournament. Right now, Izaya was more focused on looking down at his shoes than anything else. It was endearing, and a rare sight, and Shizuo almost didn’t want to ruin the shy version of Izaya he never gets to see too much of. 

Or, well, almost.

Shizuo brought his other hand up from his side to reach underneath Izaya’s chin, tilting it ever so slightly up towards him, and Shizuo took a moment to stare into the latter’s wine red eyes appreciatively. It was almost like he could dive in, and go swimming in them for as long as Izaya would let him, and even then he can’t guarantee he wouldn’t be lost in the sheer beauty that was the story that those eyes told, like a piece of beautifully stained glass that held all the secrets to the world (his world) in them, but only if one knew where to look. Izaya was squirming again, suddenly realising the position he was in, and Shizuo couldn’t help but want to make his cute face blush some more.

“I really like you, Izaya,” Shizuo said, eyes still locked with Izaya’s, and he could feel Izaya’s futile attempt at trying to look away as he traced the way a renewed flush started to spread across his face once more. He refrained from using the proper ‘I love you’, feeling that that line was reserved more for more private settings, plus as hilarious as it would be, he had a feeling that Izaya would actually legitimately pull a knife on him if he were to say it right now. 

“Shizu-chan is horrible,” Izaya said, voice soft and exasperated at the same time, and Shizuo couldn’t help but smirk. 

“I know,” was all he said before he leant down to meet Izaya’s lips halfway.

Izaya tasted like mint, and maybe even coffee, and there was something so addicting about the taste that everytime they pulled apart, left Shizuo wanting to go back for more. It wasn’t a taste that Shizuo would usually like, but then again Izaya himself had always been the exception. Izaya’s kisses weren’t always like the personality he’d spent years building and crafting for himself; They were timid, yet self-assured enough to know what he wants, and they can be playful and maybe even forceful if Izaya was feeling up to it enough. Shizuo supposed that they, too, made up Izaya as who he was today, as who he had chosen to be with. Izaya was still shaking slightly from the embarrassment before, and Shizuo couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as he pulled the latter closer in reassurance.

Then, he heard clapping, and they broke apart to see what the commotion was about, only to find that the tournament had ended, and all the kids were eagerly running up to their parents or guardians to show them their new coloured belt with childlike glee. At the same time, Shizuo noticed Mairu and Kururi running (technically only Mairu was running) towards them, each holding green belts in front of them to show their brother. Shizuo unwrapped his hand from Izaya’s waist.

Izaya coughed a little and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, as he almost reluctantly stepped away from his partner. Shizuo hung back, not wanting to ruin a nice family moment. Maybe Izaya would take them to eat dinner somewhere to celebrate, and Shizuo tried not to think too hard about the fact that Izaya always invited him to most of his family events. If Izaya caught him thinking about it too hard, he would undoubtedly start freaking out again. Shizuo huffed a laugh at the thought.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and Shizuo looked down curiously as he pulled his phone out. A text from Tom, apparently, asking if he could work the following Tuesday, and Shizuo quickly responded to it before going to lock his phone. Obviously, what Izaya didn’t know was that just like how he had a picture of Shizuo as his lockscreen, Shizuo, too, had set his lockscreen to a nice picture of Izaya that he took a couple of months ago without the other noticing. Though, that was for Shizuo to know and Izaya to find out.

[dedicatedfollower467]

DIRK’S PESTERQUEST ROUTE REACTIONS AS THEY HAPPEN

spoilers etc. yada yada yada i’ve been waiting for this for fucking EVER.

this is fucking massive, for the record.

“The one and only” lmao suuuuuuure whatever you say dirk.

i fucking adore his metal scuba suit though holy SHIT

“[talking in meatspace] isn’t exactly my forte” akdfsljkadsfhksadf you bet your ASS it isn’t mr. strider. (at this point i’m assuming this is actually hal, wouldn’t be the first time that we met “dirk” and it turned out to be hal)

the power of his own “voice” is almost too much for him MY CHILD.

OH HELLO HAL. GOOD TO SEE YOU USING YOUR USUAL RED. LOVE THE THEME MUSIC CHANGE TOO. IT’S GOOD MUSIC.

i fucking KNEW it i fucking knew that was hal lmao

so in that case HI DIRK HELLO MY ASSHOLE BABY CHILD.

“The use of the speaker system is new, but it makes sense he’d up his game for interfering with relationships I’m busy forging in 3D. I guess I should go ahead and be proud of him for it.” god i really wish dirk and hal could get along but they both hate themselves and therefore each other way too much for that...

“Every line of muscle in his body is held in excruciating placidity. You’ve never seen a jaw so purposefully unclenched” dIRK!!!!

“you’ll prove it to him with your deeds. it seems like that might be his love language” BOY FUCKING HOWDY IS IT. also how did i never put that together before ofc dirk’s love language is acts of service practically everything he does is an attempt to serve his friends in some capacity and he’s SO BAD at telling them with words.

(his secondary love language is gifts, evidence: brobot and detective pony)

god i’m so excited and so nervous lmao

i love this sprite with the verrrrrry slight smile he looks so sweet.

hell yes the fucking ROCKET BOARD.

“this is a much more comfortable thing for him than the conversation was” I’LL FUCKING BET IT IS.

“with Dirk it’s almost like he’d be less penetrable without [his shades]” oh well now THAT’S an interesting thought/observation.

holy shit that’s a cute fucking smile holy shit holy shit look at that grin AHHHH I’M DYING MY BOY IS SMILING.

“Not sure how well my deep, personal beef with the imagery of the sea will land for you, but there it is.” WELL THAT CERTAINLY MAKES THAT ONE LINE FROM HOMESTUCK 2 A LOT MORE EMOTIONAL, WHICH IT ALREADY DEFINITELY FUCKING WAS.

“Ace Attorney monologue” OMFG HAS DIRK PLAYED AA??? WHO’S HIS FAVORITE CHARACTER? WHAT’S HIS FAVORITE GAME?? i mean he’s definitely got the hair to be a fucking ace attorney character especially in pesterquest lmao

OH MY FUCKING GOD IS HE HOLDING BACK A LAUGH. IS THAT WHAT THAT MOUTH IS. HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE THIS ALKJADSFLADHADS

“He’s leaning forward, laughing, dimples carved into his freckled cheeks. There’s a small twist in your heart about it, and you can’t place why.” A *SMALL* TWIST? A SMALL TWIST? TRY A TWIST THAT’S WRENCHING MY HEART WIDE FUCKING OPEN AND SPILLING ITS CONTENTS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE.

“At least make me try and earn it first.” THAT’S THE MOST DIRK THING I’VE EVER HEARD AND ALSO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

“I can just fold [my hand] and hope your shit works out instead.” Ah yes, dirk’s incessant and almost pathological need to be in control at work again.

“I want to be the only one in charge of endangering my own life. You got me.” oh dirk. oh honey.

“How much has this boy wanted to be known?” oh okay yeah that’s fine i didn’t need my heart anyway pesterquest, you can have it.

oh. hi ultimate dirk. i fucking knew this was gonna fucking happen.

“i can’t believe i was ever this pathetic” LEAVE HIM ALONE. (but also i know you can’t because you fucking hate yourself and it’s fucking tragic)

OH. OH OKAY WE’RE NOT JUST GONNA BE FUCKING NARRATIVE WE’RE GONNA BRING THE ACTUAL FUCKING DUDE HERE.

AND WE’RE GONNA PLAY AN OMINOUS-ASS VERSION OF "BEATDOWN” HOLY SHIT. CHRIST CAN WE GET ANY MORE HEAVY HANDED HERE????

also holy shitting christ ultimate dirk is swole. ‘twink ass bitch’ my ass, he’s at least a twunk.

“You fuck off and let people live their arcs.” NO FUCKING WAY, NOT IF HIS IS GOING TO END UP AS YOU, DICKHEAD.

“Oh fuck.

You remember it.

You remember Homestuck.”

well, probably not all of it, it’s pretty goddamn long, and very hard to remember all the details. i should know, i’m currently re-reading it.

oh no.

oh no, this looks like regular dirk but ominous “beatdown” is playing which makes me very fucking nervous.

“You cared about him before you knew every tiny fucked up detail about his life, and now, with a reminder of where his story leads leaning smugly against the railing, you find you still do.” YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I DO!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

“He’s intense and pushy and profoundly complicated, and right now he is helping you to your feet, his hand steady and firm on your back as you find your balance.” I’M CRYING.

“This isn’t as simple as an evil Dirk and a good one. If you’ve learned anything from your travels it’s that everyone has the capacity for hurt inside them, and everyone the capacity for love.” I’M STILL CRYING.

“The combo of all splinters of Dirk, fermenting in his flesh container and not holding onto his shit nearly as well as he likes to pretend” an apt and succinct description of ultimate dirk.

“No, I can see it. If anyone was going to pull off an “I’m you, but stronger,” it would be all of me, combined.” DIRK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

“Your allegiance is not to the story, but to the people within it.” A-FUCKING-MEN MSPAR!!!

“The ends always justifies the means, Dirk.” I feel like that’s the breaking point there. IDK what’s going to happen next but that line sure was a line about philosophy, aka one of Dirk’s biggest special interests.

“[Ultimate Dirk] doesn’t have to work overtime to create more pain just so he can feel like he’s in control of how much punishment he gets and how badly he deserves it!”

oh.

oh wow.

oh WOW that’s hitting it on the fucking nose, MSPAR.

“He’s going to drown in [longing and loathing and Ultimate Dirk] if you don’t do something” STOP COMING BACK TO THAT GODDAMN LINE PESTERQUEST YOU’RE FUCKING KILLING ME HERE.

“You know how he loves -- though it’s fierce (to a definite fault), he does not do it easily.” STOP MURDERING MY HEART WITH PERFECT SNAPSHOTS OF DIRK AS A PERSON EVERY TWO SECONDS MSPAR I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

AHHHHHHHH IT’S DAVE!!! IT’S FUCKING. CANDY DAVE. I JUST. I CANNOT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

“you look like someone ironed the mayor so that’s a million more points in your favor” DAAAAAAVE!!!!

“Dave pulls him into a short, back-thumping bro hug which Dirk weathers like a wet cat not trusting a towel to dry him off.” AAAAAHHHHHHHH I’M FUCKING DYING I’M DYING I’M DYING HELP I’M DYING GOD HELP HOLY SHIT, FIRST OF ALL, THE SPRITE/ILLUSTRATION, SECOND OF ALL, THAT DESCRIPTION OF DIRK, THIRD OF ALL I’M FUCKING DYING

CANDY DAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

you deserve so much better than the raw hand the candy epilogue dealt you jfc.

“Bringing fucking guns to a knife fight here.” I mean, did you really expect MSPAR to play fair when the health and happiness of all their best friends is at stake, UD?

SAD ENDING IS SAD.

“Be good to that me, will you? Treat him right?”

dirk, this is yourself. you’ve never treated yourself right. ever. tbqh you probably never will. ultimate dirk is absolutely no different.

(but also this makes me wonder if we’re gonna see “Trust yourself” timeline Pesterquest Dirk showing up in Homestuck 2? That would be fucking wild I’d love to see that.)

“are we anti-ocean here”

“Oh yeah, extremely.”

YES, WE FUCKING ARE, AND AGAIN WITH THE REFERENCES TO HOMESTUCK 2 JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

oh, of fucking course ultimate dirk’s a sore loser, he’s ultimate dirk, fucking duh.

“You did it. You got him a good end.” i fucking love that this game is literally just. explicitly saying exactly what i was freaking over and desperately wanted.

like i’m just gonna take a moment here to admit that i was really nervous that dirk would end up like candy timeline dirk and just off himself. i was really afraid that a good end just straight up wasn’t possible.

i love that it’s not. and i equally love that the game acknowledges that a FUCKTON of us really wanted to give him that.

“Maybe [Doc Scratch] and Ultimate Dirk were working together the whole time.” maybe doc scratch has been ultimate dirk this whole time. or vice versa.

“There are just so many details to remember” lmao i made that point like a dozen paragraphs up.

i.... do not recognize the text style of whoever just say “hey. we can talk about this.”

IT’S HUSSIE. HOLY SHIT. IT’S DEFINITELY 100% HUSSIE.

i....... don’t know who that is? the woman?

is this like. the person who’s been running pesterquest?

it totally is.

i don’t know who that is i don’t know enough about the homestuck machine to know who that actually is.

lmao ultimate dirk and the irl director are fighting over how incredibly self-indulgent this metanarrative is, which is fucking amazing. i kind of love this? i really kind of adore this.

i can’t help but notice that the director has blank white eyes.

i.e. the Author is already dead, yo.

“They’re just an artifact of the medium” HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS FANTASTIC. I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN HERE.

“I’d say thanks but I feel like you all got more out of it than me” I’M DYING I LOVE THIS HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY.

“Stop flirting with my audience you anime ass motherfucker” LMAOOOOOOOO

“I wouldn’t look like this if you didn’t want me to” I KNOW I’M JUST QUOTING BASICALLY THIS WHOLE THING BUT LISTEN I LOVE IT, I FUCKING LOVE IT, IT’S FUCKING PERFECT, GOD. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS SO GOOD.

“I actually let the artists have a lot of creative license” somebody’s horny for ultimate dirk.

eridan DESERVES that gender arc and i’m excited for him.

“Happy people don’t get stories told about them.” I’m sorry, I’ve read enough Domestic Fluff fanfic to tell you that’s just blatantly not true, Ultimate Dirk.

wait.

wait wait wait wait.

pesterquest is a RETCON???????????

THAT was not something i was expecting

you click “don’t” betray your friends and pesterquest just fucking closes like this is fucking undertale jesus fucking christ.

but....

i don’t wanna betray my friends.

but i wanna see what happens....

god dammit this is exactly like the murder run of undertale, i don’t wanna do it but i have to know.

“Andrew Hussie would never do this to me” yeah well, Andrew Hussie barely ever interacted with you soooooo...

and if i throw the beta in the sewer again pesterquest quits. again.

i mean, i knew it would but... *sigh*

that’s a fucking depressing ass ending.

... except that “Savior of the Waking World” still hasn’t been unlocked...

Huh.

I’m... gonna see what happens if I start John’s route over again.

oh duh, of course it’s a retcon, MSPAR touched the Homestuck juju. i forgot about that.

(a big part of me wants to look up the process of getting the true ending. but a bigger part of me wants to figure it out for myself.)

hmmm. okay so replaying john’s ending once didn’t do it.

i guess i coooooould try replaying the whole thing? that sounds. like a lot of effort.

or i could try not betraying my friends approximately five million times let’s see what happens if i do that.

i’m going to do that experimenting in another post cuz this is already huge. see ya in part two.