#also have you met manga lan? that kid is so chaotic i kinda want him to get arrested fdjskfdjs

[just-absolutely-super]

#JustLanHikariThings

a few of my favorite Lan things (gameverse)

General:

The way this kid gave 0 fucks about fighting off evil organizations that could KILL people. Even impulse control Megaman is just like, “Yeah Lan let’s show them who’s boss!”

His response to anyone doing bad things is essentially, “You’re a terrible person and I’m gonna stop you.” And then he stops them!

Literally oversleeping like every day despite Megaman literally yelling at him to wake up (king tbh)

Trespasses practically everywhere because his loved ones were put in harm’s way and anyone who messes with Lan Hikari’s loved ones will catch MEGA’S HANDS

Chaud in almost every BN game: Stay in your lane and let the Officials handle this

Lan: How about I don’t?

MMBN:

Literally decided to take on a crime syndicate without an official NetBattler license because fuck you it’s the right thing to do!

Fought off actual flames coming out of his oven with a squirt gun

Stole his dad’s government ID so he can have access to the water plant in order to confront said crime syndicate

He reformed Higsby just by telling him joining WWW for rare battlechips was dumb

Got freaking electrocuted trying to pull down a lever so Elecman would quit healing himself

After finding out his dead twin was really his Navi all along his first response is to apologize to Megaman for bossing him around for literal years

Mayl essentially tells him she has a crush on him and the poor oblivious boy is just absolutely DUMBFOUNDED

After Wiley told him that Lan’s grandpa beat him in a science contest so now he wants to kill everyone Lan basically called his shitty motive out and said Wiley’s loss wasn’t his family’s fault

MMBN2:

Practically failing a semester (or at most has a C average) except for Virus Busting (THIS KID BECOMES A SCIENTIST WHEN HE GROWS UP)

He wanted to research a different country and get a penpal from said country on the grounds that he wanted to eat their food (KING TBH)

Fought off a swarm of bees with a stick, a newspaper, and a lighter with 0 help from his friends

His first time overseas and he gets mugged....3 times

Keeps saying Mayl is “just a friend” but will have romantic dreams about her

Volunteered to captured a poisonous spider with 0 hesitation because he’s Lan Fucking Hikari

Freestyle rapped in order to get whiskey...yes really

Easily convinced his dad to let him go to a town with lethally high levels of radiation to take down a mafia because fuck you he’s Lan Hikari and this is the right thing to do

Managed to survive 100k radiation

Used the power of brotherly love to operate Megaman with his heart

MMBN3:

STOLE THE KEY TO BREAK INTO HIS SCHOOL (it was to make sure Dex didn’t fail his homework but still the AUDACITY)

Fucking Y E E T S his navi like a fucking POKEBALL at a man

He’s apparently good at calligraphy???

Falls for the, “Hey look over there!” trick

Jumps from a 2nd story window into the ocean in order to reach a hospital’s basement because he’s Lan Fucking Hikari

Caught a condor to return to the zoo

Calls Megaman out for being reckless on obtaining the GigFreeze even though the entire list proves that this gremlin has no room to talk

Gets gunned down by a tank with a built in machine gun and just...side steps it so he can jack into it

FUCKING KICKED A STATUE OF WILY OFF A LEDGE I FUCKING STAN HIM

MMBN4:

Can’t enter an area because it’s not open to the public? TRIES TO HAVE HIS NAVI BLAST IT OPEN!

An employee from said area shows up? HAVE YOUR NAVI KICK HIS ASS THEN TAKE HIS ACCESS CODE

NetBattled a gang because his new punk friend needed help

Gets involved with a mafia….again…

GETS HIMSELF FUCKING KIDNAPPED LAN NEVER GO TO NETOPIA EVER AGAIN

Got goaded into putting his hand in some wall relic thing’s mouth (with a slight risk it’ll be bit off) in order to prove he wasn’t lying about being in a tournament

Had Mega take on a soccer (I’m sorry, “footbomb”) challenge because some rando trash talked them

Swore revenge on an actual military official because he punched Lan in the stomach

CONVINCED AN ACTUAL MILITARY BASE TO LET HIM--AN ACTUAL 12 YEAR OLD--TAKE ON AN ACTUAL MILITARY MISSION

Insulted a master chef by saying his mom’s curry was better

ACCEPTED A CURRY COOKING CHALLENGE EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE CURRY

WON SAID CURRY COMPETITION BY USING LOVE AS A SECRET INGREDIENT

KNOCKED THE FUCKING MAYOR ASIDE WHEN HE GOT IN HIS WAY BECAUSE HE HAD TO STOP AN ECOTERRORISM PLAN AND THAT’S HOW LAN FUCKING HIKARI ROLLS

Had Megaman get some cyber beer and cyber jerky so they could learn how to break rocks...I wish I was making this up

Braved a blizzard and almost froze to death so he could stop some asshole from freezing the entire earth (and this ISN’T PART OF THE GAME’S ACTUAL VILLAIN’S PLOT! THE GUY WAS LITERALLY JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE BECAUSE HE WAS HOT!)

MMBN5:

Literally kept the fact he’s a part of the NetAvengers a secret from his mom and friends until almost the last minute, which wasn’t very hard apparently

Like deliberately disobeyed his mom about being safe because if you think Lan Fucking Hikari isn’t going to find a way to save his own dad you got another thing coming

Was initially refusing to listen to Dusk’s demands to show off his and Mega’s battle capabilities, but agreed after he was called a wimp

Called the actual family dog ugly fdjksfldjs

Took down 100 dummy samurais so he could bypass a castle’s security system

Unfortunately not a whole lot of other moments but that’s because Lan’s chaotic nature is challenged by his equally chaotic teammates:

#JustTeamProtomanThings

Chaud fakes an attack on SciLab so he can see if Lan has what it takes to be part of the NetAvengers (because saving the world 4 times just doesn’t really cut it I guess...)

Tesla literally almost killed 3 children because she was stressed and thought drilling in an abandoned mine would do the trick

Charlie decides to cause problems on purpose just to test Lan’s capabilities and CHAUD WAS IN ON IT

Charlie also took out Nebula’s evil server thing but decided to attack Lan and Mega anyway because he just really wanted a rematch I guess

Fyrefox almost got away with theft because he just REALLY wanted his fireworks business to thrive okay?

Jasmine said fuck your precautions I’m going to the Undernet and there’s nothing anyone can do about it!

She also continues to say fuck authority, and if Lan won’t have the balls to go after Nebula then she and Meddy will!

#JustTeamColonelThings

Baryl--like Chaud--fakes an attack on Scilab to test lan and the entire time Lan is just like WHO ARE YOU?

Dusk also causes problems on purpose for the sake of testing Lan but he’s an assassin so that kinda makes sense for him

Ribitta goes to the Undernet because SHE NEEDS TO MAKE A KILLER NEWS STORY LAN THINK OF HER CAREER LAN

Goes to the Undernet again because dammit Lan if you won’t be a leader and avenge Colonel then SHE WILL

MMBN6:

Was prepared to fight off 5 security bots when they wouldn’t let him into his new school

Was willing to take on those same security bots who were burning the entire school down because this isn’t Lan Fucking Hikari’s first rodeo

Considered that an actual penguin could be a pelican...

Would have jumped into a pool full of jellyfish had impulse control Megaman not stopped him

Almost got fucking TAZED because he was yelling and touching a tree (IT MAKES SENSE IN CONTEXT....KINDA)

Sleeps in class when there are security cameras watching him (THIS KID BECOMES A SCIENTIST WHEN HE GROWS UP)

Tried to pull a Mary Poppins with an umbrella to jump down a tall ledge...the umbrella broke

Basically took an assassination class... (Gregor version)

Nearly threw hands with the mayor (he had it coming tho)

Took down a NetMafia...again (request post-game; but for real how does this keep happening to him???)

Put off leaving a building that was about to blow up because he was reforming the franchise’s long running villain

REFORMS THE FRANCHISE’S LONG RUNNING VILLAIN BY CONVINCING HIM THAT THERE REALLY WAS STILL GOOD IN HIM AND HE COULD BE A GOOD SCIENTIST AGAIN THIS ABSOLUTE PURE CHILD

Other:

Decides to investigate a bad vaccine after his dad tells him to stay put because sorry dad I’m Lan Fucking Hikari and this is the right thing to do! (Network Transmission)

Saved the Waterworks plant from Iceman (again) not just because it’s the right thing to do but because if he didn’t he would get any dinner that night (Network Transmission)

BEAT UP A GROWN ASS MAN (Battle Chip Challenge (his route))

Okay this kid does all this bullshit but the one thing that knocks him down is the fucking common cold (Battle Chip Challenge (Mayl’s route))

Lied about WWW stragglers being at the BattleChipGP to impress his #1 fan and when that proved to be true he tried playing it off that he knew all along before Megaman outs him (Battle Chip Challenge (Kai’s route))

Literally calls a powerful being from space an “Arm Navi” and when corrected he tells it to shut up (Operate Shooting Star)

Becomes a memetic badass 200 years into the future (Operate Shooting Star) including but hopefully not limited to things such as:

having an IQ of 300

Being efficient in every sport (soccer in particular)

Making goals in soccer against 11 players (presumably single-handedly)

has a signature move called a LanPunch and it’s never specified HOW THIS CAME ABOUT

Literally comes into Dex’s house uninvited with a strange boy from the future and jacks into a wall clock WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION TO DEX (Operate Shooting Star)

BEGAN THE PROCESS FOR HARNESSING THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP (Star Force Megaman 2)