#also hi appie I know you're reading this!

[mellometal]

Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.

I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.

Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.

I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.

ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:

This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)

LET'S FUCKING GET IT.

The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.

Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.

Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.

I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.

Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.

Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.

Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.

Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)

Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?

There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.

Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.

My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?

Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.

For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted

First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):

Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)

Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too. 

It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.

If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.

Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs): 

I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man. 

Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want. 

I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too. 

Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around. 

If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.

Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.

Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.

If you've read this far, thank you so much!

[donnies--jacket]

Mud Pup (Mud Dogz & Reader Headcannons)

relationship: familial

warnings: lil bit of swearing

a/n: HELLO, HI, YES, and welcome to what is likely going to be the only time i ever write on here. i've been thinking about these headcannons by @bootyyy-shaker9000 every day, and my little found family loving heart decided to make me write this. so here, take it.

also srry if it kinda jumps around a lot??? my adhd bitchass just has a dolphin brain and processes things kinda wack and it sorta effects how i write 😳. and i also wrote this at like 3am while very sleepy over the course of two days so dahfsdgfzdgfsdhfdgfsdgfs. also i didnt proofread this or anything i just. word vomit, yknow.

Living with the Mud Dogz was. interesting.

I mean, it wasn't bad, not at all, it was just... you were a family of four absolute himbos, with a total of one braincell among you and no one knows who has it.

Still, you love your dumbass dads and they love you!! Living with them was great!

Out of the three of them, Danny is the most parental with you-- probably because he's the oldest and relatively the most responsible of them.

He helps you with things like your homework and teaches you a lot of basic life skills like cooking and stuff, but he also helps out a lot with emotional problems, too. He's able to comfort you when you're anxious or sad, and can calm you down when you get angry.

G O D , Danny would absolutely have one of those "baby on board" stickers on his car.

Even though you're NOT a baby!! >:(( You're big and strong!!!

Mickey often tends to be much more of a fun older brother than a parent for you, but he still does always step up and fulfill that role when needed. Mostly though, y'all are just the most chaotic pair of siblings.

You're such horrible influences for each other omfg-

The two of you are constantly egging each other on to do stupid shit, and are so goddamn DESTRUCTIVE. If it weren't for Danny and Leonard, you would both be dead by now.

"Y/n and I are immortal. Our proof is that we haven't died yet."

Leonard is probably the most inexperienced when it comes to being a parent.

Growing up, he'd really only had his mother and, sadly, she'd passed away when he was little. His dad wasn't around much, so for a lot of his life he'd practically raised himself. He'd gotten so used to taking care of himself that he wasn't sure how to take care of others.

He'd gotten accustomed to watching out for Danny and Mickey after some time, but keeping an eye out for someone not even half his age was a lot more difficult for him.

Still though, he really tries his best and actively makes an effort to be there for you. He may not be as good at Danny is at parenting, or be able to connect with you in the same way that Mickey can, but he loves you just as much as they do, and you love him just as much as you do them.

Leonard honestly is the most "dad" of the bunch.

Like ofc they're all dads, but, as previously mentioned, Mick is so often much more of an older brother and Danny is honestly a lot more of a mom-type. Leonard fills the role of a father much better than the others.

Speaking of mom Danny.

Dan's maternal instincts are IMMACULATE. Like,,,,,,,, bro,,,,,,,

Each one of the Mud Dogz are so extreamely protective of you, but Danny is just... the most. To the point where it can be very overbearing.

"Y/n, careful!! That's sharp! You could cut yourself."

"Literally, I was just reading a book."

If there's anything that you can't stand about your family, it's how much they baby you. They treat you like a little kid!! They ask you if you want appy slices and little cups of peanut butter to dip them in, as if you aren't fully capable of getting your own DAMN appy slices!!!!

But, to be completely honest, the Mud Dogz are very anxious about you getting older. It felt like you were growing up so, so fast and they just... didn't really know how to handle it?

They knew that getting older was inevitable and all but they just weren't ready for that to happen. They weren't ready for you to grow up yet. That's why they baby you so much; because they don't want to have to let you go.

When you finally bring up just how frustrated you are with them babying you all the time, they explain this all to you; how scared they are that you're growing up and that you wont need them anymore.

"You guys... I'll always need you."

"...Really?"

"Of course!! You're my family, and my best friends! I love you. And you'll always be apart of my life."

Cut to the Mud Dogz absolutely BLUBBERING.

They crowded around you for a big group hug, and just about suffocated you.

"Heh, we love you too, kiddo."

"Just promise that you'll slow down a bit for us, okay?"

"I promise."

HOO BOY, gettin a bit emotional there aint we

anyways 🥺 back to the shenanigans

The guys are surprisingly very affectionate with you, Mickey especially. They're constantly giving you little pats on the back or rubbing your head, and hugs are very frequent as well. Oh!! They also give you lots of little kisses on the head, too!

When it comes to spending time together, it really varies depending on who you're with.

Like, if it's just you and Mickey then you'll likely be up playing video games all night and eating junk food until you pass out.

If you and Danny hang out, you'll probably be watching a bunch of old movies on VHS or cooking together.

With you and Len, he likes to take you out for long car rides. Usually you won't even have any idea where you're going, you'll just drive until you get lost or run out of gas.

If it's the four of you together, though... oh boy.

You've tried to do so many things together as a family, but no matter what, it always ends in chaos.

Like, this one time you all played Monopoly together, and by the time you were halfway through the game, Dan and Len had gotten into THREE FIST FIGHTS, Mickey had attempted to rob the bank twice (despite you repeatedly telling him that isn't how the game works), and you'd had seventeen mental breakdowns.

You all never played Monopoly again after that.

And for real, everything ended up like this.

You tried to watch a movie together, but none of you could agree on what to watch and argued over it for an hour, until you finally just picked something random and it ended up being terrible.

You tried to go camping together and nearly got mauled by a bear and spent two days straight in a the-- which was not at all helped by Mick's constant complaining and you literally begging to climb down to try and make friends with the bear.

Even going to the grocery store was disastrous! You'd either end up being recognized by the police and have to make a run for it, or you get lost on the way there!

Still though, none of you would ever consider these to be bad memories. You look back on them all quite fondly, actually.

Monopoly night is something you always think back to and laugh over just how dramatic you all were being; you had all had a lot of fun watching that terrible movie and making fun of it; you'd surprisingly learnt a lot about each other while stuck up in that tree and had grown very close as a family because of it; and going out together was always exciting because you never know what could happen!

Honestly, there's not a single moment you've spent with the Mud Dogz that you regret, not even one. You genuinely cherish the time you've spent with them, and you couldn't imagine just how sad and lonely you would be without them.

Your family is an absolutely chaotic mess, but, you wouldn't change it for the world.