#also i don't have a haurchefant ship tag oops

[e-dragoons]

i wrote a little something in honor of haurchefant day, inspired by dragonsong reprise (no spoilers past heavensward) pairings: wol/haurchefant, wol/estinien ao3 link: here

Lehna sobbed as with all her might, she flung her bullets into the air, a shield falling like rain between Haurchefant and the spear attempting to break through his shield. She flung herself at the spear as he pushed it back, allowing her to leap at it once more, cutting it down with something between a scream and a sob escaping her lips.

Haurchefant collapsed to the ground and she followed suit, relief and confusion flooding through her as she watched him breathe. A bit exhausted, perhaps, but otherwise none the worse for wear.

“Ah, you’re unharmed? Good.”

She wrapped herself around him, unable to control the sobs that flowed from her as she squeezed tightly, his arms hesitant for a moment before returning her embrace. “Come now,” he said into her ear. “Tis alright.”

At that, she could only cry harder.

But everything was wrong. 

It played around her like a film–her fleeting happiness as she was reunited with Haurchefant. But Thordan was summoned and returned to Ishgard, killing thousands who refused to follow the Heavens’ Ward. Estinien, corrupted completely by Nidhogg, went head-to-head with Thordan and won, the dragons finally gaining enough momentum at the loss of both the Azure Dragoon and the Archbishop to completely overtake the city. 

And every time she attempted to stop Nidhogg–

She was dead, the only trace of Estinien remaining as he ran his lance through her was but a glint in his eye, as if apologizing for what he could not control. 

And Lehna would die–she would die a thousand deaths to save him, to keep him safe the way he had kept her–

But as the Scions fled to Doma in a feeble attempt to gain a foothold to take back Ishgard blaming themselves for Lehna’s death.

The Scions died one by one.

Lehna choked out another sob as she held Haurchefant close.

“I appreciate the effort,” he said gently, and she looked up at him, begging for him to see how badly she wanted him to live–that they could stop the world from changing so drastically if they tried, they just had to follow the Archbishop now and–

“One cannot change fate, my love.”

She buried her face into his neck and he pulled her in tighter. “I can’t lose you again,” she said, her voice cracking. “I won’t.”

“You know that you must.”

And she knew it to be true–one life for thousands more should have been an easy choice to make. And yet.

“You have many who love you,” he said, running a hand through her hair. “I am always with you, always cheering for you. Let me do this for you.”

“It hurts,” she said, her voice not much louder than a squeak. 

And it did.

Haurchefant had welcomed her with open arms. He’d taught her how to fit into a city that didn’t seem to want her–or want him, for that matter. His family welcomed her with open arms, as if she was one of their own. And she had finally felt like she belonged somewhere. She’d carved out a life for herself–a life with Haurchefant, full of adventure and stolen kisses when they thought no one was looking. 

“That is not the life we would have if I stay.” 

“But–”

“Listen to me.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “We will meet again one day in the aetherial sea, my love. You will tell me of all your adventures and I will listen to every word. You’ll tell me how you managed to tie Estinien down in one place and I will admire you all the more. And I hope I am left waiting for quite a long time. There are so many more adventures for you to have before I see you again.” 

She stared at him, tears still streaming down her face.

He smiled at her once more, suddenly coughing up blood. 

“Oh, don’t look at me so,” he said. “A smile better suits a hero.”

Haurchefant exploded into a dusting of light as Lehna let out another cry, knowing full well that she could not have saved him and yet still wanting to try again anyway–

“It’s alright,” she heard, a deeper voice than Haurchefant’s. “It’s just a bad dream.”

Estinien.

Her eyes opened and she was met with Estinien’s wide eyes, his hair falling in loose sheets around his face as he stroked her cheek, wiping what must have been her own tears away.

Without thinking, she threw herself at him so that her arms were around his neck. After a brief moment of hesitation, he brought his own arms around her and said, “Shhhh,” as she began to sob in earnest. 

Estinien had gotten much better at comforting her after her nightmares. And although there was a small panic forming in her chest as she longed to see the rest of her friends safe, the dream would be one that only Estinien could truly understand.

“I saved him,” she whispered. “I saved Haurchefant.”

Estinien stiffened for a moment before relaxing again, running his hands through her hair, but he said nothing.

“But…” She took a breath. “When he did not die, we did not chase after the Archbishop. Thordan became too strong. Nidhogg became too strong. Nidhogg k-killed you, and then me, and I think he would have gone after the others next but–”

“It was a dream,” he said. “We’re fine. You’re safe.”

Lehna let in a gasp of air, trying to keep her breathing even. “Everyone died. And Haurchefant… he saw it all too, and he wouldn’t let me try to save him again.” 

“He loved you, Lehna,” Estinien said. “I know that. He loved you so much that he would die for you again and again. He would want you to think of him fondly, not of his sacrifice for you–not knowing how much pain it would bring you.”

She sniffled, knowing that he was telling the truth–that even her dreamed version of Haurchefant had wanted nothing more than for her to chase her happiness. 

“Would you like me to make you some hot cocoa?” Estinien asked gently. 

And although it hurt, Lehna nodded before she could stop herself.

Haurchefant would not have come to her dreams to hurt her, she knew. So perhaps it was time for her to stop avoiding thoughts of the man, and instead think fondly of the memories she had of their time together. 

For as he’d told her once before:

A smile better suits a hero.