#also i havent really heard you debate and stuff but i don't think u getting president involved nepotism tho jdjsjs

[thewhizzyhead]

iiiiiiii can’t ditch the life plan though I tried, for a week I really tried, but it. didn’t go to plan.

I brought everything up with my parents, yadda yadda maybe stop putting so much pressure on me yadda yadda at dinner aaaaand

well, to sum it up I don’t think it’s healthy to breakdown about 3 times in one sitting aHa-

plus they made a really good point that my desire to be the best of the best was never them, it was a decision I made, and they’re right- no one ever told me to aim for what I am but now I can’t stop because I don’t know which parts are just me and which parts are my parents and which parts I’ll get in trouble for not following up with-

And on the Asian quotas: yep, race quotas exist, usually only in private schools though, public schools like UCLA and USC can’t do that unless there’s a law passed or whatever

speaking of laws they almost passed a proposition here in California that would allow public schools to set quotas... thank god it didn’t pass but it scared me for a good while

mm and on the entrance exams thing that’s the sat/act, but even that is very skewed because if you’ve got enough money, you can do act/sat prep classes, which makes it really unfair for students who can’t afford those

they’ve stopped using them for that reason, I think? at least in California? yeah I don’t think sats/acts count anymore... for now

(is it bad that I’ve spent so long doing what my parents wanted me to be/like that I no longer have a concept of what I enjoy and what I am passionate about?)

(probably)

(oh wells)

(if nothing else I have sad word spam on a google doc that will never see the light of day)

also please don’t be intimidated by me being debate club president it’s really not that big of a deal (also remember the friend I lost secretary to? she disagrees with me but we’re debating this Friday and I’m certain she’s going to win... my reputation is about to take a hit)

just between you and me I think there was nepotism involved- there was definitely some bias going around,,,

-🍵!!!

i can relate on um not being able to get rid of the life plan anon aaa for the most part I'm the one pressuring myself to be the best that I can be (cause my parents learned to lay off once I started doing quite well at a sci high school which is um yea a fucking miracle really). but in the end that self-pressure has and keeps on fucking me over multiple times so rn I'm constantly learning to try and go easy myself and allow myself to make mistakes. i don't think either of us is fully gonna get rid of the life plan mindset buuut we could both try to kinda take it a bit easier on ourselves, like i dunno lowering the very high standard bar by 5 centimeters every week or so. it's a long process with quite a few unavoidable relapses bu hey we'll be a lot happier if we do so! And perhaps one day you can find the parts of yourself that are truly yours in the process so yay! I'm rooting for you mate but don't forget to take it easy on yourself!!!

also dude um you can take this new high school opportunity to truly get to know yourself and separate yourself from the image that your parents paint you to be! explore shit and do whatever the hell you want! And if you don't know what exactly you want then um explore shit that looks kinda intriguing! i had a similar experience back in 9th grade and i was only able to snap out of the little-miss-perfect mindset when i started befriending a classmate of mine (whom my parents didnt really like) that helped me step out of my comfort zone which then led me to participate in more interschool writing shit and eventually led me to realizing my bisexuality so yea long story short (sorry for the ramble tea anon jdfjd): 7th grade me would be absolutely disgusted at 11th grade me and you know what? I'm completely fine with that cause 7th grade me was what i though my parents and everyone else wanted me to be and I didn't really want to be that also 7th grade me is a homophobic entitled bitch. So yea sorry for the lengthy preachy thingy tea anon but i guess all i wanted to say is to um take this opportunity to separate yourself from the perfect image in your head and find out who you really are and who you really wanna be cause at the end of the day, your happiness and wellbeing is what will stick.

and yea the racial quotas still kinda fucks with my brain aaa like that's kinda fucked up??? That'll be so easy to manipulate in favor of white people though aaaaa i mean i know it's part of affirmative action stuffs aka um movements for more poc representation and stuff but like mfjsjs it can also go the other way and further harm poc aaaa. also yea entrance exams are a bit skewed too aaa it's the same over here: if u have enough money and time to go to entrance exam classes and shit, then boom you are 99.9% guaranteed to pass the exam which is a bit unfair to those who can't afford it aaaaaa college shit is complicated and has a lot of systemic problems.

also DUDE I AM VERY INTIMIDATED OF DEBATERS CAUSE I REALLY WANNA BE ONE VJDJSFJ like my friends say that I'm good at debating bUT THE THING IS I DON'T HAVE THE CONFIDENCE AND COHERENCE OF ONE AND WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THAT CONFIDENCE AND COHERENCE AAAAAA. So yea i automatically admire you a lot mate aaa goodluck on the Friday debate woo I'm sure you'll do well!!!