#also last 1 was posted b4 i think?but cannot find the post anymore

[morn1e]

some of my human designs 4 the regular show cast + my oc^-^yay

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

7:48 pmpdt 12 fe bru ar y 2023 Sunday ☀️ Part 2

Maybe I wrote too much in last post so it doesn’t add pictures?

it still won’t add.

11:46 pmpdt I continued typing 💬 in the previous post instead of this post. I remember now incubus has another wife to add to list I forgot: Maria sharapova tennis 🎾 athlete- some sources say they did it, & try to remember the list in other post: Jane, Kelly, Candace Bailey, (#3 acid pain 😖😭 11:49 pmpdt).... Rebecca Ginos, Anne V., Behati P., Stroh, Mvrykv_, then there are other people he dated that there are rumors: Jessica Simpson, Cameron Diaz, Lindsay Lohan (who is also very beautiful)... but he says he didn’t is what is says online but she says they did is what I saw online second/third hand, not first hand sources? Recalling a little... not sure 🤔 11:55 pmpdt

4:52 am pdt is the I hope you answer me truthfully part harsh? I wasn’t trying to sound harsh. It’s been disappointing when people dont answer questions. & the internet has changed at least to me since 2017. I formerly was able to web search 🔦 stuff that I cannot anymore. It came up 🆙 w/ unsatisfactory results. 4:54 am pdt

4:56 am pdt I think the whole Jaycee dugard stuff is disturbing. That there are people out there who let it happen. Do they have the rapist mentality that it’s the woman’s fault she got raped? 4;58 am pdt

5 am pdt whore of Babylon .... world w/o end. ?? Looks to be so.

Top of head including brain 🧠 feeling the flames 🔥 heat 5:02 am pdt

God invests in pretending to be decent & loving. He’s generous to who he wants to be. & rapist incubus to who he wants to be. 5:05 am pdt

5:07 am pdt what did I do to get suspended from Instagram? I made a new account name like Instagram suggested to keep in touch with a smaller group of people, & messaged an old friend to get his phone number again that I lost when my phone 📱 got locked 🔒 by my aunt & had to reset it. This friend’s sister I was hoping to get in touch with to see if she could advise me on something bcz I seem to be having issues getting stuff I need. & I’m tired of it🧐 accidentally put in emoji. Medical 🏥 related. Incubus does not want me getting the help I need medically. He is interfering again 😞 5:12 am pdt

Instagram is slave like law enforcement is slave to incubus. 5:23 am pdt

Incubus are black widow spiders 🕷 5:14 am pdt 5:15 see web tattoo on front of neck.

5:20 am pdt now I have access to Instagram but I can’t see the 1 message chain . Beach 🏖 balling. 5:21 am pdt

6:39 am pdt what is 2-faced? Insincere & deceitful is one definition. Is incubus that? When he gave me signs 🪧 that he’s my husband & loves me? Seems so. Did I do that to anyone? Did I do it to my first boyfriend? I tried to love him. I should have not been w/ him I guess. He was pleasant to be around. I was hoping feelings would grow for someone. I wanted my search 🔦 to be over for finding a lover but I did it the wrong way. Maybe 🤔 w/o realizing it I bought his relationship w/s*x & by also (vag acid burning pain 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵) giving him a gently used futon mattress w/a nice frame that probably would cost ≈$2000 to replace today. I think I gave it to him b4 giving him my virginity. 6:48 am pdt there some people I show my face to, & have been ignored by, bcz of incubus & whores of Babylon. 6:49 am pdt

my sis had a friend who was Nick’s neigh 🐴 bor. he liked to toy 🧸 w/ people now & then. He told me thru my sis over the phone ☎️ that Nick was asking him to ask me to be Nick’s girlfriend. I started feeling like I didn’t want to be, & I thought 💭 that I was interested, but I had difficulty understanding my feelings maybe. Nick didn’t even respect me enough to give me a real date. Did I deserve a real date? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️. Would I have been real enough at that point in my life to fall in love if falling in love is contingent upon being myself, feeling comfortable enough to be myself that I really find someone I can really have fun with??? It can I fall in love with out being myself? But can I feel connected to someone if I’m not myself? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️. I wanted to find that best friend connection. Some people write ✍️ about a healing kind of love 💕? That they I guess find someone who they can be their best self with & maybe their worst? But grow to be better???? Can we open the possibility of finding a real love 💕 & connection if we choose to only treat people like whores w/o benefit of the doubt is that what it is called? 6:59 am pdt I think 🤔 they could both see the lack of enthusiasm? The change in feelings, even the guy on the phone ☎️, but he saw it differently & labeled it saying I’m 2-faced. Why did he jump to that conclusion? Did he talk to Nick? Did Nick say something to him? Why his friend I started liking senior year caress my hand & tickle my knee but not ask me out for a date? Was it bcz of Nick? Did he say something? Did he tell everyone I was a whore behind my back bcz maybe 🤔 our “ friends with benefits” became known to other people when he wanted it a secret? 🤫 from family & school 🏫? (Acid sand paper throat pain 😖😭😖😭😤🥵😤🥵 7:05 am pdt). I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️. I wonder 💭 what his real dad does for a living? 7:06 am pdt I was 15 years old & never dated outside, & a virgin. Why would I think “friends with benefits” would mean anything else than what it sounds like? Should marriage subtitled: best friends with benefits? 7:08 am pdt still was waiting for the “friends” part of the deal. To him, “friends with benefits” means being a whore, not friends. 7:10 am pdt

7:12 am pdt not sure but I felt burned & maybe acid & maybe sand paper deeper than b4 into my brain 🧠. I guess god really dislikes me & thinks this is haughty. 7:13 am pdt guess he does not like soulmates & best friends stuff w/spouses. That’s why he cheats. 7:14 am pdt

8:23 am pdt incubus burned my brain more. Maybe for what I typed above. 8:24 am pdt I guess there were things I could have done better but didn’t. 8:24 am pdt like ask for delivery 🚚 for groceries. Whatever. Pain back of upper above bones 🦴 pain 😖😭. 8:26 am pdt above butt 8:27 am pdt

8:35 am pdt I’m being punished for every thing I typed. He things I’m unworthy & insincere & a liar 🤥. Ok. 8:36 am pdt

8:37 am pdt he thinks I’m greedy.

9:05 pmpdt fine I’m greedy & unlike able & insincere & unworthy & a liar 🤥 & a pig 🐷. Breathing difficulty hot 🥵 air exhaling $ been burned stinging pain. I’m the worst person in the world 🌎. It’s fine. If no one likes me & that’s the truth I should not b (coughing 😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵 burp 9:08 am pdt brain 🧠 pain 😖😭) b angry it is what it is . 9:09 am pdt 🐒💨

9:58 am pdt I hope incubus is not trying to make me look 👀 like Danny devito, although I might behalf way or more there 😞 10 am

10:12 am pdt no one wants to see me win & no one should. 10:13 am pdt

10:17 am pdt someone told me in 2020 that I should hang myself. Yeah. She didn’t have difficulty breathing & didn’t look like she was losing her bones 🦴. She was a counselor? Type of field? 10:19 am pdt. Yeah maybe she told me that bcz that’s what god wants. 10:19 am pdt I remember she was wearing a long clingy dress 👗 & she looked like she was not wearing a bra. Earthy toned slightly green? dress 👗. 10:21 am pdt

11 am pdt I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away I should not have run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away. 🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲🚲😖😭😤😥😤🥵😤🥵😤😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😭11:04 am pdt 11:05 am pdt

4:04 pmpdt that counselor worked at a hospital 🏥. 4:06 pmpdt there was also a nurse 👩‍⚕️ that made fun of my breathing problems & said “breeeeeding problems?” Nice. 👍 4:07 pmpdt

4:28 pmpdt Instagram suspended account again. 4:28 pmpdt

4:29 pmpdt Scott & Nick probably are okay 👌 w/o any problems, but I get the shaft. Men are always excused. Women aren’t. I m sure all the people somehow justify rape. One way or another. & they’ll probably always pretend next time will be different. But it’s probably still happening. 4:32 pmpdt why? Bcz rapists will justify it? 4:33 pmpdt I be been treated like trash 🗑 yet I was celibate for 10+ years, I didn’t rape anyone, but people say bcz it didn’t happen to them & their a good person it must mean the rape victim is a bad person? That’s what I seem to be intercepting these days. Go ahead, say you’re better than everybody! Be proud god the incubus protected you & made you rich 🤑 from other people’s misery. 4:36 pmpdt

4:51 pmpdt I felt like a weirdo for a big part of my life bcz of all the head trauma I had. Incubus is trying to cover up & change history. Bcz he’s a dick. 4:52 pmpdt I can relate a little bit to brian Stowe? Probably. Burning 🔥 skull & acid & heat on my left side of brain 🧠. 4:53 pmpdt

4:54 pmpdt he had too many ways to cheat. & he’s cheating in his marriage. “It’s complicated” it’s complicated bcz U cannot b honest to ur spouse? Huh 🤔 almost like spout... realizing that now. I hate the use of the whine words... what whine? Whinny??? 🐴 wine 🍷? What? Trying to right some. 4:57 pmpdt whatever I don’t understand.

5:08 pmpdt most of the time when I was alone & had a lot of time to think 💭 I usually condemned myself, bcz of my regrets. Since ≈ around senior year of high school 🏫 forward. Sometimes I got distracted & forgot my bad decisions. Sometimes I chose to forget. You cannot forget completely from time to time if you have done something serially. If you repeat 🔁 it & do it frequently then you are less likely to forget. But I condemned myself anyway. Unfortunately I didn’t realize until this year that the top thing I condemned myself for wasn’t even the worst possible thing a person can do to another. I’m still embarrassed by it & don’t want to talk about it or remember it (pain weird pain in throat & a lot of heat) I crossed a line that should never be crossed. I didn’t rape anyone. The person even laughed after I did it. Please read all previous posts. 5:19 pmpdt now I have to deal w/ the other 2 things that I completely forgot about for years bcc I was distracted by the other things. 😵🥵😤🥵😤🥵😱😓😰 but I guess it doesn’t matter bcz god incubus made his decision to double cross me & kill me, like someone who is murdering his victim to cover up 🆙 his crimes. Once a cheater.... always a cheater? 5:22 pmpdt

5:23 pmpdt 5:24 pmpdt to clarify, it was a bad thing, but it was the mildest least worse line to cross of the category. 5:25 pmpdt same might be said of all the other things I did. 5:26 pmpdt

5:43 pmpdt I have lived feeling ashamed of myself for a very long time. Sometimes, looking book in my mind of memories walking around & looking down like an autistic person during high school 🏫 years

6:03 pmpdt & many years after college, feeling ashamed, scared, shy, anxiety. Trying to understand this autistic symptom of looking down- it’s actually felt like a weird automatic involuntary movement for me To look down sometimes. It’s my own body? Forcing myself to look down . Sometimes it is like that. Sometimes it is fear of looking 👀 someone in the eyes 👀 bcz I’m uncomfortable w/ eye contact. Why? My eyes 👀 involuntarily scowl when I’m uncomfortable. Why? Shame ? Feeling like I’m the worst person in the world 🌎? Brain 🧠 damage? Not feeling great bcz of brain 🧠 damage. After I was punched in the head or hit my head I got very tired a lot. 😴 I used to try to put my head on people’s shoulders like my mom’s o& once Q’s - but Q I think 🤔 she didn’t like it so she moved her shoulders up & down. I used to feel guilty about thinking about not hanging out w/her anymore so I told her to “make lots of friends,” so she wouldn’t be alone if I decided to stop 🛑 6:17 pmpdt there were a lot of times after my cousin punched me, I would wake up sometime feeling fresh but before dark my face drooped & I looked sick dog tired. 6:20 pmpdt 6:22 pmpdt I think the drooping made me look like I aged 10-20+ years??? Maybe 🤔? By the end of the day. 6:23 pmpdt