#also ngl that wild kiss scene in the beginning of episode 12 will live in my head for the rest of my life

[bunni-bun]

we did it, lads, we finished only friends. can't believe this fucking messy ass show made my cry. incredible. also.......

like i get why some people would be mad about boston in the end tbh. but i also have to side with mew on this since i've been in that kind of situation.

like do i think boston can be a better person? absolutely. if ray's awful ass can do better for sand then so the fuck can boston. but nick was right to let him go because you can't force someone to change. they have to do that themselves and make that choice themselves. they also have to deal with the consequences of their actions. to forgive doesn't mean you forget. boston making out with boeing was fucked up, especially because nick's not stupid. and that being the nail in the coffin for nick really hit me more than i expected.

nick having put boston on that pedestal of love where a person can do no wrong is truly a steeple of a toxic relationship. i think they're so cute together and i love when they understand that they have love for each other. but some people do have to change and boston telling nick to accept him as he is isn't love, it's an excuse. you fuck around and eventually, you find out when everyone leaves you, including your friends.

i say that as someone who's ex is still just continuing the cycle of being manipulative and downright bad to someone else now, almost 14 years later. he can chose to change but he's also gotta face the consequences of his actions, like boston. they have to be alone for a while and make peace with themselves first before they can make full peace with others.

that said, ray's apology in therapy really had me crying with him because sand is just so patient with him, so kind and caring and so incredibly loving. a good partner, to me, is someone who you want to be a better person for. i think about my sister and her fiancé and how my sister can be a huge bitch but ever since she's been with him, she's been a lot kinder and nicer overall. i think her fiancé has made her better.

i know that the heavier topic of alcoholism only really delves into the story towards the end but i'm glad that ray went to rehab and got the help he needed. my father is a recovered alcoholic and he's been sober for over 16 years now. i'm proud of them, both of them. ray facing his fear and also understanding that he's the person he needs to control, not the environment, is a big step and i'm glad sand's by his side.

topmew and forgiveness is a really good arc. because forgiveness doesn't magically come at once but also holding that grudge won't help you forgive. his moms are great and so real for saying that. gotta love older lesbians for being the voices of reason. forgiveness takes time but one must find it in themselves to forgive first.

as always, lesbians are the only people i've trusted in this entire show. mew's moms and cheum & april make the mess worth it because they are all so wonderful together. to see older lesbians, who dote and love their son as much as they love each other, is just so wonderful, it brought me so much joy. to see lesbians my age just work through a rough patch but stay together no matter what was so hopeful. i love them.

overall, this show was so fucking messy and no one is a good or bad person, which is interesting. i liked it, all things considered. also, again, absolutely excellent soundtrack, 100000/10 no notes.