#also road trip over I’m sorry for all the asks I still couldn’t get 😭😭

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I am really needing Advice and I don't have many people in my life that can help.

Here in the fandom I am wanting to reach out and try and make friends with of the members but I ......just don't know how.

I don't want to freak anyone out I just want some friends from here people to chat with and get to know.

I really enjoy my interactions with some of the members I just very socially awkward.

Hey there, anon! First off, I want to assure you you’re definitely not alone in this fandom and thank you for judging me an appropriate person to help. I’m definitely very socially awkward as well (even if it doesn’t show much since I’ve gotten very comfortable around here), so I’ve been there. I’ll share what I’d do in your situation (basically, what I’ve been doing since the fandom began sgksbsjsbs), I hope some of it can be of help to you <3

How to make friends in the fandom:

1- Discord

I, personally, do not really use discord chats. But I did back at the beginning, and they’re an amazing way to find people in the fandom to chat with! Essentially the etiquete of discord (as far as I know) is that you’re welcome to join in on conversations that are already happening, so you don’t need to stress about intruding. I’m pretty sure the biggest Hilda discord is Hilda Guild-a, but the tumblr community also has the Hilda Fandom Network. I (and any other member) can send you a link to the latter if you’re interested and don’t mind shooting one of us a DM! There’s also a sketchbook discord (and I’m assuming you’d be interested in talking about sketchbook since you’re. You know. *gestures vaguely around my blog* here), but I’ve been trying to find the link for jetcat for weeks and still haven’t managed to 🫠 wish you a better luck than mine, anon

2- Tags!

If you’re a person who makes content for the fandom — and I don’t just mean fics or art; shitposts and meta count too — pay attention to the people who not only reblog your stuff, but leave tags adding their thoughts/agreeing with you/screaming as well. They will probably be more open for dialogue since they not only already know you, but also like what you do and how you think!

Likewise, interact with the people you want to get closer to! You have probably already gotten a feel of some bloggers in the fandom, so make sure to reblog the posts you like from the people who sound kind and interesting to you, and let them know what you think!! This way they, too, will know you’re open for dialogue

(Also in this fandom it’s very common that we check the tags on our posts and answer them if there’s anything to be answered; so it’s already an unobtrusive way to get a blogger’s attention!)

3- Asks :O

See, you’re off to a good start! xD

Probably the main reason why I refuse to move on from tumblr, tbh. Asks are just so useful when you’ve already had some interactions with a blogger via their posts and want to talk more. You can always ask about safe topics; if it’s an artist or fic writer, I assure you they’ll be delighted to talk about their work. Also sending jokes or thoughts about characters/ships the person likes, or just about the series, is also imo a very nice thing to do :)

4- DMs (*sinister music playing*)

Okay, this is the scary part that you probably want to be careful with (I know I always want to, at least)

Once you’ve been interacting with people for some time in the ways I already mentioned, you might try sending them direct messages (this is especially acceptable if you’re mutuals btw, though that’s just unspoken etiquete and not a Rule of any kind). Depending on how long you’ve been in each other’s orbit, you might send them a fandom thought (that could admittedly have been an ask, but sending it in a DM will make it even clearer you’re interested in chatting), a post that reminded you of them and you think they might like, or even something a little more personal. I truly think this step will rely a lot on you sensing what is the most appropriate course of action

From then on I’d say it’s relatively easy (even for socially awkward people such as you and I) to sense whether the person you’ve approached is also interested in having a back and forth or if they’re just being polite. But either way, if you ever want to ask them (or even begin the chat by asking) if it’s they’re okay with getting DMs and/or apologizing if you’re being in any way intrusive, I think that’s a pretty chill thing to do. I can’t really see anyone in this fandom telling you “no”, but it’s still polite and would put your heart at ease evekvdjdbsjdb

Honestly, this is a cookie cutter-ification of a process that is generally organic, but as a general rule it’s what works for me. You might want to keep in mind that up until last year I was only in DM terms with *counting on fingers* uh. One (1) (☝️) person in the fandom, so I might not be The best person for you to copy xD though that might also be just because I wasn’t necessarily looking to make friends over here. It sort of just happened haha

Honestly, the bottom line is just that this fandom is filled with lovely people and I think wanting to make friends is all but a guaranty that you will. Something that I’ve learned from experience that helped me a lot to keep in mind is that if you’re afraid of being intrusive or impolite, you most likely won’t be. Just from the way you worded the ask, you sound pretty sweet!

I do hope you find what you’re looking for, and that you have a lovely time at the Hilda tumblr! Have a lovely day, dear 💜