#also sorta developed the last one into a two part spicy times and not sure how where to post it to not get flagged lol

[fullunadulteratedart]

slightly spicy steddie dump

[vierafication]

Last night around 4 am, I reblogged a certain post about "villainous rp" and added my own two cents to what had been discussed within it- mostly just venting about behavior I'd seen in the past. I didn't think much of it until I saw the next day it had been reblogged, and reblogged again, and again, by some folks who seemed pretty unhappy about what I'd said. I was told I needed to get a life, that I clearly can't separate IC and OOC, that maybe I shouldn't be writing at all. That hurt. I was irritated, then, feeling like I'd had words shoved in my mouth, like I was being purposefully misinterpreted. I typed up a clarification post explaining my previous points and pressed send, but it was seemingly ignored.

I talked with @damankjol about it later. He's the best, if you didn't know. And he rp's villains! I don't think he's a sociopath! He's very empathic and honest and understanding and cool, and he helped me realize that people weren't just angry at me, they were genuinely hurt by what I'd written. I went back and reread what I posted, as well as the responses, with a more critical eye. And... yeah. What I typed up wasn't clean, organized, or coordinated. I was venting and the tone that came off was irritated and rude. While not my intention, what I wrote sounded pretty fucking disrespectful and downright mean. And, frankly, my intentions don't matter, anyway, since I wasn't able to convey them properly. I just put some angry bullshit up on tumblr way too late at night, and I didn't expect anybody to even look at it, let alone reblog it- but I should have. Tumblr is a public platform and I should have approached my post the same way I'd approach any other one during the normal hours of the day. Thinking critically is always key, but audience is too- a vent post is a vent post, but I should have thought before I vented about a topic other people were sensitive to, and properly indicate specifics instead of vague generalizations. So, yes, I really wanted to apologize to anyone who that post hurt. I’m genuinely sorry. I should not have generalized like that. It wasn't even my intention in the first place. I was disrespectful and now that I think about it, incredibly hypocritical to boot. So yeah. I really am sorry. I respect @damankjol and @miqojak a lot as writers, and it would never be my intention to tear them down. Or anybody else, for that matter- rp only works when you rp with others, after all.

Once again, I'm sorry, and I hope you won't hate me for eternity or anything. Storytime and critical analysis under the cut.

One of my first, and worst, experiences in the ffxiv rp community was a good couple years ago. I was describing my character to a “friend,” and that character happened to be Lionnet Blodoint, my Ishgardian chirurgeon. Lionnet was not a good person by a long shot, to begin with, and from his time serving during the Dragonsong War, he’d developed quite a bit of PTSD relating to any and all things draconic. He hated dragons. He didn’t even like Au Ra. “Wow,” said the so-called friend at the time. “Your character is a nazi.”

“What? No!” I exclaimed. I tried to explain that he was NOT a nazi, he was just a traditionalist Ishgardian who hated dragons because they had been, at one point in time, absolutely hell-bent on destroying his home and everything he knew. I thought it was a pretty reasonable character trait to hate, or at least fear, dragons after serving in the Dragonsong War. The core of how I’d planned to develop him would be overcoming or at least coming to terms with his trauma, and no longer seeing it in every dragon or Au Ra he met. “No,” they said. “Your character is terribly written. They’re awful and nobody would ever want to rp with them. They’re boring because they’re so full of negative traits. They’re racist and thus, a nazi. And you are just as bad, because you’re defending them! You’re a nazi too!”

So yeah, they are NOT my friend anymore. But that whole convo really stuck with me, and I was afraid to bring out Lio afterwards- it took me another year before I actually began to use him in rp. And he turned out wonderful! His story became one of my favorite rp character stories of all time, and he had great relationship development and a happy ending. He’s still around, canonically, but I have a different main toon now.

So it shocks me that what that person told me about Lio is more or less the same as what I wrote in that post. I’m honestly dumbfounded at how I could just casually type that up and post it, when it draws so many parallels to the way I was bullied back then. So yeah. Huge hypocrisy right there. I swore to never act like that. And to an extent, I suppose I have. But that post I made was pretty fucking close- just directed at a vaguely generalized audience instead of a singular person and character. Maybe that’s actually worse. And I am sorry. I guess because it wasn’t directed at anyone but the void (even the op’s url doesn’t exist anymore), I just didn’t think about it. Which sounds like a lame-ass excuse, but... it’s true. I just wasn’t thinking. I was just venting. It’s really fucking with me that I could’ve hurt somebody so much completely unintentionally, to be honest.

So, what did I say- or, to be more clear, what was I attempting to say? What was my intention, and what wasn’t? I’m going to go over that now, more for my benefit than anyone else’s. Please note that I am not trying to make excuses or shove any blame elsewhere. I am just trying to clarify what I meant and address the issues that made my post so negative, for my own sake.

To begin, I’m gonna link this post by @lilac-memorials. It goes into detail about the trouble with “villain” discourse, and addresses a number of issues from a much more unbiased standpoint, far more eloquently than I could. Also, it seems to reference (the worse) parts of my posts at some points, or maybe I’m just paranoid. Regardless, it’s a much better post than the trainwreck that was the original one, and I agree with every bit of it. It also addresses the difference between a “villain” and an “antagonist,” which is something I attempted to go into but failed miserably.

Anyhoo. My post began with this paragraph:

Seriously. I do not trust anyone who refers to themselves as a “villain” rper. A character can take an antagonistic role in another character’s story arc, that’s fine, that works. It goes back to the “everyone is the hero of their own story” sorta thing. But playing a villain, only as a villain… what’s the point in that? It’s just someone roleplaying as an evil asshole that expects to be treated as stronger than other characters, expects to be feared. It reads like some twisted power fantasy. It doesn’t sound fun and it sure isn’t fun for the people rping with you. Like dude, calm down.

To begin with, yes, I am indeed a little distrustful of people who label their characters first and foremost as villains, before anything else. I am more suspicious of engaging in rp with them than I am with other types of characters, because I have seen some pretty crappy villains out and about and I just don’t wanna deal with that. Next, I go on to try to draw the line between a villain and an antagonist, and how I am much less suspicious of “antagonistic” characters than straight-up “villain” characters. “But playing a villain, only as a villain... what’s the point in that?” I ask. Very rudely. Insinuating that their is no point whatsoever in playing a villain. Which I didn’t intend to. But honestly, I don’t know how else that would’ve translated- I don’t know what I was thinking. I go on to describe this “villain” as somebody who is an evil asshole with a power fantasy, and how it ruins fun for anybody. Which can be read very easily as saying “all villains are like this.” No, they are not! I was describing the bad type of villain rper. The rper who “plays a villain, only as a villain,” and not as a character. Do you get what I mean now? The controlling, toxic, power-hungry rper that plays a villain as an outlet to be further controlling, toxic, and power-hungry, moreso than they ever could in reality. We all know that type of person exists. We’ve met them, somewhere. Sometimes they aren’t playing the villain at all, anyway. They’re playing the hero, or somebody else entirely. But here, I am just venting about that type of person. They are what my post is about. The key line should’ve been “playing a villain, only as a villain,” but it was shoved into a passive-aggressive question addressing self-worth instead of a proper sentence describing the difference between a well-written villain and a badly-written villain. And thus the post begins as if it had been rudely addressed to all villain rpers everywhere, labeling them as the evil asshole with a power fantasy, instead.

Next is: Anyway hot take but maybe the reason people kept trying to “redeem” and “change” OP’s character is because their character is boring af!

Yeahhhh, that one’s just mean. And, given the first paragraph, easily able to seen as an attack saying that if you are a villain rper, your character is boring af. They’re not! The op’s post is a little much, to be honest, and I guess I thought I was feeling spicy at 4 am. Now I think I must’ve just been being mean. Aurelia explains what’s wrong with the initial post here, though, instead of trying and failing to poke fun at it in that special pseudo-mean tumblr way like I did.

Lastly, Like, honestly! Play a character as a foil to another, play to fucked up ideas about morality, play an antagonist arc to a protagonist character, play a character who makes bad decisions. But don’t play a “villain.” Don’t play a character whose core personality traits are simply being cruel/evil. Don’t play a character whose sole focus is to kill npcs, be scary, and lord over other players’ characters. Don’t play a character who never develops or changes, and doesn’t facilitate change in other characters. Just don’t be an asshole edgelord. Don’t be flat and one dimensional. Don’t use rp to live out your fucked up power fantasy. Get therapy instead.

Honestly, I think this is the most clear part of my entire post, and also the worst, at the end there. I just am listing off behaviors that this figurative “bad villain rper” exhibits, and what offsets them. Play a villain that’s complex, had depth, nuance! I’m saying don’t play the “villain,” and then listing off what this specific hypothetical villain is. The opposite of deep and nuanced. The “bad villain rper” type the whole post is a vent about.

Then comes the dreaded “ Don’t use rp to live out your fucked up power fantasy. Get therapy instead. “ The villainous power fantasy. No, I do not think everyone who rp’s villains is like this. Yes, I believe there are people like this, who are INCREDIBLY few and far between, and if they solely use rp as an outlet to harass others both ICly and OOCly, that is bad! And maybe they should get help! And even, then, that was only half-serious! But therapy is a serious subject and I should have known better, and done better. Did all of that come off as intended? Hell no! Instead, it was the final nail in the coffin.

So! That’s what I was trying to say. Badly-written villains are a pain. If I had written up a post like I am now, with this long-ass thing, actually trying to be eloquent and clear. Not 4 am word vomit. This 4 am word vomit instead has gotten me to be read and interpreted as:

-being completely unable to separate character and player to the point where i think every villain’s player is a Real Life Bad Person and/or needs mental help

-saying all villains are boring because they’re not heroes, and thus are incapable of being complex and nuanced

-saying people who play dark/antagonistic characters are, in general, living out their fucked up power fantasy through them

-thinking that villainous characters are incredibly boring and just plain terrible

No! None of that is what I think! Absolutely none! I’m not going to go in and refute each of those claims, because, like I said, I’m not trying to make excuses here. But I WILL end this thing with what I do think of villainous characters and their players:

They’re fucking great, okay? A good story is made a gazillion times better by having a good villain in it, be the story a book, a movie, or an rp scenario. Well-written villain rpers are a TREASURE, and need to be appreciated! It is often harder to find rp with antagonistic toons, to begin with, and their players may find themselves getting shit on more often than others, which should absolutely not be the case. Characters that are complex and deep and nuanced are great no matter what their alignment is.

There ARE some pretty shitty villain rpers out there, too. And, in my own personal experience, they tend to be much more obnoxious than shitty hero rpers. A badly written hero will ruin a villain’s rp. A badly written villain may well try to ruin everybody around them’s rp.

Badly written villains suck. They’re the worst. And they make things worse for those that dedicate a lot of time and effort to crafting complex and cleverly written, compelling villains! Badly written villains are something I can and will complain about, just as well-written villains are something that I can and will praise. But I’ll try not to complain or vent on this platform anymore, to start.

And I do NOT blend IC and OOC. That’s the rper’s taboo! I will critique others who do it, though, which ironically is what I was sort of trying to do- complain about those specific villain players who do that. But anyway. If you’ve read this far, good for you! This has been way too long.

And. Please. If I do say or do something that hurts you in the future, regardless of what type of post it is, talk to me! Tell me what’s up! Thank you!

[petals42]

Can you please do some more Kent/chowder friendship body swap bc if you write like anything at all I will die happy

this is going to be an Unorganized Mess because i’m doing it right before bed because WHY NOT but here. [Note: You gotta have read this post first to make sense of this.]

So, like, as mentioned, I really want this friendship to develop after they switch back but the question is like... how?? 

In my last post I talked about how Parse would send Chowder nicer clothes (and sheets because wtf is that thread count christopher??) but i think this happened because-- wait lets go back

Okay so Chowder gets to go to the Aces/Sharks game and go backstage (not the right word for that but lets just move on) and meet people so while he is obviously ALL UP IN THE SHARKS, he introduces his family also to Kent as “and this is my friend, Kent Parson” and admist the confused stares (coming from both his family and Kent Parson), Chowder is just like “we met at Samwell!!”

And Kent Parson, who is never really referred to as a friend (more a teammate, tbh, or “ex” or “celebrity crush) has like acquired some sort of blushing instinct (he blames his time in Chowders body) because he sort of blushes and stammers (JUST A LITTLE OKAY) before finding his cool again and--

“Oh, also,” Chowder tells his little sister. “You gotta feel that inside of that sweater-- it is like SO SOFT.” and so that is actually where Kent gets his first idea to send Chowder nicer clothes (the expensive CASHMERE clothes yaknow... (sidebar: is cashmere soft? i don’t... actually know things about nice clothes)) 

But he doesn’t do it right away because like.. c’mon he’s not going to seem desperate here. He’s Kent Parson. He... they switched bodies for a little. Surely Chowder doesn’t actually want to... be his friend. 

WRONG.

Because Chowder gets on a flight and heads back to Samwell and Kent Parson gets back to Vegas (and snuggles Kit) and THEN Kent Parson gets a text.

And that text is chirping him. Hard. For his coding notes.

“Lol. Dude. Really?? These don’t even make sense!”

“I told you I was bad at it! You’re lucky I tried.”

“It looks like you gave up halfway through and started doodling hockey plays.”

“... that is actually supposed to be some zeros and ones?? he wrote them on the board??”

“holy shit.”

and suddenly kent parson finds himself sort of smiling and laughing at his phone and he would say it is one conversation but then he gets a GOOD LUCK! text before his next game and then a bunch of texts DURING the game that he sees after and then-

Then he gets a “Remember to ice your shoulder!!!” the next day and, okay, yes, it’s weird that this guy has BEEN IN HIS BODY and thus knows that his shoulder bothers him but its also... its also nice??

So Kent Parson says fuck it. And he sends Chowder that sweater he liked so much. Because Chowder is being really nice to him and he... okay he will try to have a friend. 

Note: Kent Parson trying to have a friend is a Disaster. because Kent Parson knows his weaknesses: He is bad at emotional conversations, he cannot give relationship advice, he is sarcastic and rude and-- he is not good at being Friends with someone. Chowder’s natural friendliness is something he can appreciate but has difficulty reciprocating.

But you know what he does have?

Money.

Lots and lots of money. 

And no one to spend it on.

Until now. 

Kent Parson cannot say “Thank you for wishing me good luck before my games” so he buys Chowder fancy sweaters and t-shirts and fashionable pants and sends them on over. Kent Parson cannot say “It is cool you remind me to ice my shoulder” so he also sends new sheets (accompanied by pseudo-snide remarks such as “so i dont have to lay on that sandpaper if we ever have to switch back”). Kent Parson cannot tell Chowder that texting him during the day has become something of a highlight but he CAN buy chowder that coding software he was going on about and e-mail him the product key and he also can get people on the Sharks to sign stuff and mail it to Chowder and, look, he knows that getting Chowder’s family season tickets to the sharks game would be Too Much (at least... right now) but he does offer them when chowder goes home for breaks.

Look, as they text more and more, Chowder puts up with his sarcastic sense of humor and dark moods and doesn’t seem to take it personally when kent just texts back ‘yeah whatever’ after loses.

Chowder is just plain nice to him and Kent does his best to follow Chowder’s complaints about school and tries to offer advice when Chowder admits that sometimes he feels torn between Nursey and Dex and their constant bickering and wishes they would both just stop but Kent knows he cannot actually be that helpful. Even when Chowder texts: “gosh its nice to have someone not involved that i can vent to,” kent knows that he is not adding to chowder’s life nearly as much as chowder is adding to his.

With the time difference, Kent now usually wakes up to a few texts from Chowder and Chowder thinks Kit is the devil but still doesn’t mind when Kent sends pictures of her and Chowder... Chowder sometimes ever so casually reminds him that he doesn’t actually need alcohol (”you could just go home dude. wanna play starcraft?”

Oh right. That’s the other thing. Chowder has got him into computer games. Games that they can play together. On the same time. Kent has never done it before and its embarassing to be bad at something but somehow with chowder its not so bad and he’s already promised that after the season, he is going to have much more time to dedicate to it and chowder thinks that they can get really GOOD over the summer and it becomes... their thing

When Nursey and Dex are driving Chowder crazy or Kent is actually free, the two log on and play some nerdy computer game shit (kent’s words. he keeps calling it that even after he admits he "sorta kinda likes it okay??”).

OF COURSE BECAUSE KENT PARSON CANNOT COMMUNICATE, he just keeps SENDING GIFTS. Which Chowder accepts at first, partly because he doesnt really know how much all this shit costs.

Nursey finally clues him in “dude, is that shirt fucking All Saints?” and Chowder is like “uh... what?” and that breaks the mystery and suddenly Chowder is like... wait a minute. this dude has sent me probably over a thousand dollars worth of nice ass clothes (and sheets and towels) all in the name of “In Case We Ever Switch Back.”

Not To Worry: At this point it is Summer Break. Which means that Chowder can just go, meet up with Kent in person and tell him that while he appreciates the gifts, kent should probably stop. They both now know not to wish on any shooting star anymore. They are probably good. 

So Chowder texts Kent something like “dude im home may 22nd-- when are we meeting up over break?” and Kent gets it and lowkey PANICS because like... Chowder wants to hang out with him?? And he can’t even just take him to a hockey game because the season is over?? WHAT WILL THEY DO??

Better to stay on home turf, Kent decides. He can take Chowder out in vegas and they can hit the casinos and maybe he’ll rent a limo and-- “Im free anytime” he texts back, hoping that doesn’t make himself sound lame. “when do you wanna come over?”

And then Kent Parson is thrown for a loop because Chowder ruins his plans by saying “you should come here! i’ll show you non-hockey parts of san jose! first weekend of june?? promise no one will yell at you!!” and kent... well hes not gonna say no obviously but he... he can’t take chowder to casinos if they arent in vegas and--

“Bring your laptop” chowder says. “starcraft IN PERSON”

Look this deserves a 15k fic of its own but picture: Kent Parson, nervous, awkward, feeling a little like he did when he visited the zimmermanns except not because he and chowder are just friends so there’s less... challenge and also he has grown up a little and so its just very embarassing for him and chowder’s whole family is the nicest and he sleeps in the guest room and they just-- They play starcraft. They go see a movie. They walk around Chowder’s favorite park. They drive up to the beach with Farmer. They go to an arcade. Normal people stuff. They do normal people stuff. 

And Chowder sits Kent down and is like “dude you gotta stop sending me presents like some kind of weirdass sugar daddy” and Kent does turn bright red at that one because he was kind of just lowkey hoping chowder didn’t notice but Chowder manages to make it not TOO awkward and then its just sort of a funny and Kent promises to stop (he wont really... chowder gets a new gaming computer for his birthday but kent claims that is because chowders weak ass system is affecting his gameplay but that not til later so thats okay)

MORE SURPRISING is Chowder agrees to come up to vegas to celebrate kent’s birthday on july 4th. Farmer comes for part of it (but she has work) while chowder stays for five whole days and they... they stay in kents apartment and play more computer games. chowder tries to build up kent’s tolerance for spicy food and then laughs at him when he dies. they go play hockey at the rink. they just... hang out. like friends. 

It’s weird and bizzare and THEN TO TOP IT OFF Chowder (who is a wee bit drunk at this point because they aren’t just going to not drink or gamble at all-- chowder had doubled his 40 dollars today!!) says something like “do you think we can switch back again? if we tried?”

and kent (also tipsy, but just like... tipsy. not wasted) says “uh... no?”

and chowder says “LETS TRY” and kent says “why?” and chowder says “FOR FUN” and kent says “alright if you want”

and the two stand and hug and kent thinks “alright switch back” and then he pulls back 

And look into his own face

Which is grinning at him. 

“oh my god” chowder (in kent’s body) says. “This is gonna be so fun.”

ENDING THERE FOR NOW because i’ve got to stop writing this AU. what is this. what is my life. i don’t... i don’t even go here. 

[friendsof3villages]

Play Diary Part 1 (Opening, Up to Spr. 14, Y1)

To sorta kinda revive this blog, start playing the game again from the start, and get in some much needed writing practice, I decided to finally begin a female file on the English version. I’ll be writing a play diary entries and also some entries of random helpful (I hope!) tidbits and mini columns from the Japanese Famitsu guide. 

I decided to impose a few rules on myself for this time around:

Veteran mode! Sure, I’m using the Miracle trait, which gives me a very unfair advantage, but... Let’s drain that stamina and that money, mmmkay? 

No preconceived ideas about whom to marry! None of that. No leaning toward one character over another sorry Yuzuki and Ludus. 

Go easy on the gifts. I want my character to cultivate friendships based on daily conversation, festival participation, and the occasional gift.

Can you believe that this’ll be my...4th(?) time going through the game, and I’ve never made a pet a Furmiliar? And I have still never once played online?! I used to do online co-op frequently in the two previous games, but lately I’ve developed a weird aversion to doing any kind of online competition or co-op... I need to do BOTH those things this time around.

With all that said, here’s my protagonist:

(Man, I miss Miiverse...)

I gave her the name of and based her appearance on my mental depiction of what I wanted my MC to look like in my latest playthrough of Mystic Messenger. Lately I’ve had this weird thing about naming my characters after fruit, pastries, flowers, gemstones, or a combination of two of the previously listed things. I do this in Fire Emblem Heroes, too. (And now you know the only two mobile games I play, bahaha.)

Hence, we have Berry, who should have strawberry-colored hair, so...well, close enough.

I had to consult the calendar in my game guide to come up with a birthday that wouldn't conflict with a festival or another's birthday. I wanna be unique! (The best calendar is on pages 334 and 335, by the way.) I finally decided upon Winter 7. (And yes, playing the English version while relying on a Japanese guidebook could be interesting.)

I’ve noticed this before but I don’t think I’ve mentioned it... While we don’t see Marlena’s face in the flashback, she appears to look exactly the same now as she did back then! She’s aged very gracefully.

Anyway, you know the drill: the family’s moving, Berry wants instead to move out and start her own farm, Daryl doesn’t think she can do it, blah blah. And, clearly, Berry wins the argument, hehe.

Don’t worry, Dad; it’s not like I’ve never played this game before. I’m a VETERAN, y’know. Starting with the amount of money I have will be a huge help. Thanks for the awesome allowance! (14.6 million gold, aww yeah!)

So off Berry goes, she meets Uncle Frank, eats pizza with him...

Ooh, I love that nice long stamina bar...

The next day we’re introduced to Westown and its residents. Here’s a lovely screenshot from a previous playthrough...

Westown is lucky that it has a reliable water source; a lot of the western US (on which Westown is clearly based) isn't so lucky. There are a lot of dams and reservoirs to collect water to make sure that there will be enough for humans and livestock. (I could also go into a tangent about how the buffalo in this game is technically an Asian water buffalo and not the very different-looking American buffalo (bison) native to North America, but, hey. I won’t. Not this time anyway, haha. It’s  a fictional world, so they’re allowed a lot of slack.)

Hello, Wayne! I’m genuinely impressed that he remembers Berry’s name just from his conversations about her with Frank. And, yeah, he gets a slight head start in the affection dept., as he’s the first bachelor we meet. But since Ford will come along in a couple of days, he doesn’t get much of an advantage.

Also, have I ever mentioned how much I love Lisette’s design? It reminds me of traditional Mexican dress. She’s just missing a rebozo (shawl), and one with a delicate flower pattern woven or embroidered into it would perfectly suit her.

Finally, the time came to name my farm. I was sleepy and giddy and ended up calling it...

Yup, it’s not just any farm. It’s THE farm. Heh heh.

Thanks for telling me that's a bed, uncle. I would have never figured out on my own that the wooden frame with a mattress, blanket (that looks stitched together from a number of pillowslips or something) and pillow is a bed. So, thanks.

Spring 3, Year 1

FINALLY, the opening and tutorial were over so I could at last play the game! 

Here’s what I did on my very first day: planted the crops Uncle Frank gave me and bought some more seeds:

Only 5 bags of radish seeds, uncle? Oh well, I’ve got more than enough money to buy more.

I chopped down a whole tree:

That took forever.

And managed to max out Westown’s E status. On the first day. Niiiiiiiice. 

I also expanded my bag (twice), bought and planted grass seeds, bought spicy fodder and chicken feed, plus treats and the tools I need for the animals,and then bought a chicken (Banana) and a cow (Kale). I now gather eggs from Banana and milk Kale every day. Make of that what you will.

Spring 4-14, Year 1

I’m not going to ship much, at least not yet. I’ve shipped 10 radishes as a requirement to raise Westown to D rank. Everything else has gone into storage. I’ve also met Berry’s second potential future husband: Ford.

I was able to purchase a fishing rod, so now I spend a lot of time fishing. All my crops, milk, eggs, fish, and stuff I’ve foraged are stowed safely away in storage for when/if I need them. I love hoarding.

So, my next entry will probably be my introduction to Lulukoko and the rest of Spring!