#also still writing this so it is subject to change alkdfj

[viiisenyas]

I got tagged by @oxygenforthewicked​ and @psalacanthea​ (several times aaaaah) so here it is! It’s a continuation of my last chapter in Val’s POV (since it was long af and I had writers block I had to split the blasted thing) 

Warning: just a slight implication of SA :(

Valeriana

She was quiet as she followed Garrett and Flemeth through the dense forest towards the outskirts of Baldering. Valeriana ignored the perturbed chatter of Bethany and Carver, and the sympathetic gaze that Aveline kept giving her as she also remained in silence. 

She was grateful that Carver was able to walk after she’d healed him, though that was where her appreciation ended. The horrific day had nearly come to an end as the sun hung low on the horizon, and Valeriana furrowed her brow, pressing her palm against her face. 

It seemed like something straight out of one of her nightmares. In just mere hours, the home she had been welcomed into was destroyed by the darkspawn, and now Leandra’s corpse was rotting among the beasts they’d managed to cut down. And there was a child growing in her womb. She inhaled sharply, feeling the sting of grief pulling her heart once more before she shook her head, and ran her fingers through her tousled hair.

Maker, why? Why must You be so cruel?

“You should make camp. You’ll need your rest,” Flemeth suggested as they entered a clearing of the forest.

“We haven’t any supplies,” Carver muttered, raising a brow. “And what about the darkspawn?”

“You can make do.” She offered a curt nod, sliding her gaze between the group, “Worry not, dear boy. You all will be safe.” 

“We’ll need to build a fire.” Aveline sighed, “I’ll go and collect what I can.” 

“No need.” The Witch shrugged before she lifted both of her hands above her head. The foreign incantation rolled off her tongue easily before orbs of white light descended from above them, and illuminated the small meadow. 

“You’ll not want to draw attention to yourselves.” Flemeth hummed before taking a seat in the grass.

The soft sound of a sniffle emitted from her left, and Valeriana turned, catching a glimpse of Bethany wiping her tears away with her sleeve. The Tevinter apostate sighed as she pondered what to say. She knew what it was like to lose her mother, and Valeriana gave her a pitiful look before averting her gaze.

“I’m so sorry, Bethany,” She murmured, “Your mum walks with the Maker in peace, now.”

“Thank you.” Bethany nodded, and Valeriana offered her hand to her. She squeezed it gently, and gave a weak smile before Valeriana led Bethany towards Carver and Garrett who both began to make themselves comfortable, and she sat beside the eldest Hawke.

“Are you alright?” Bethany asked after a pause, “Do you want anything to eat?”

“I… I’ll be fine.” She replied, fixing her gaze on the ground, “Carver, are you in pain?”

“No. My leg feels a lot better, now. Thank you for what you did back there.” The younger Hawke’s soft smile dropped, and he glared at his brother before turning his attention back to Valeriana. “But you shouldn’t concern yourself over me. You’ve already got enough to worry about as it is.” 

“I never wanted it to be like this.” She confessed, unconsciously rubbing her abdomen.

“What do you mean?” Bethany asked.

“I… I wanted children, but…” Valeriana shook her head once more as tears stung her eyes. 

“The Maker has a sense of humour,” Garrett scoffed, scratching his beard. Valeriana looked up to find that he hadn’t spared her a glance. She was surprised to hear his voice after hours of silence, and she tilted her head as he continued, “You want children, and He gives you the spawn of that fucking Templar in the middle of a Blight.”

What?

Valeriana’s eyes rounded from his assumption, and a whirlwind of emotions overcame her. Confusion. Grief. Anger. She was offended that he’d assumed the child was Trevelyan’s and she gaped at him in disbelief. 

“Ser Trevelyan isn’t the father!” She raised her voice, letting go of Bethany’s hand as she stood.

“What?” Garrett rose to his feet, and took a step closer to her, grasping her arm. “Who else did that to you?” He demanded. She didn’t notice his siblings standing with them as she pulled away from him.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Hey!” Aveline swiftly approached, stepping between them as she pushed Garrett back a few paces. “If you don’t lower your voice, the darkspawn will descend upon us all!” 

“Back off, Aveline!” Garrett barked.

“It’s the Warden you were talking about the other day, isn’t it?” Carver asked as tension settled between the warriors. “He’s the father?” 

Hawke and Aveline exchanged glances before they both turned to face Valeriana, and she exhaled through her nose, answering the query with a nod.

“What Warden?” Garrett narrowed his eyes, jaw clenching.

“He was an apprentice in the Circle.” Bethany explained, placing a hand on Valeriana’s back. “He joined the Wardens in Ostagar recently, and... She loved him.”

Another pause settled between them, and only the sound of the forest could be heard as the wind shifted through the trees. Valeriana didn’t miss the way the Garrett’s tense posture relaxed, and she began to gnaw on her lower lip, anxiously while he lowered his gaze.

“Oh." Hawke’s tone was softer as he broke the uncomfortable silence. 

Just ‘oh?’ No apology?

Valeriana scoffed quietly, and her lips curved down into a frown. She knew he had good intentions, but she was still enraged by his sudden outburst. Instead of allowing bitterness to overcome her, she simply exhaled through her mouth.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Valeriana.” Aveline murmured, “I may not have known him, but I do know he fought and died with honour.”

She looked up to meet the widow’s gaze as tears began to slip from her eyes, unnoticed. “Thank you.” 

“What was his name?” Aveline tilted her head.

She hesitated for a moment, and her brows knitted together. She shifted her eyes between the siblings as they all shared sympathetic expressions and she finally answered.

“His name was Arthur Amell.”