Tumgik
#also the gorlazitics thing is basically chest bumping but to the death
stubz · 7 months
Text
Kim and Max and the adventures of running an alien child care centre
"Human Max I'd like you to meet Ezshi, they will be joining you soon in the youngling centre."
"Oh hey there buddy, nice to meet you!"
"Now, what do we say Ezshi?"
*croc sounding hissing and snarling*
"Ezshi! You apologize right this instant!!"
"...oh boy"
days later~
"I don't know what to do! The kid won't stop hissing at me everytime they see me! As soon as they spot me they flare up and won't stop hissing at me, they almost bit me when I tried giving them their chocolate milk!! I don't know how I'll survive this year Kim."
"That's rough buddy," she gives sympathy pats to him. "but why don't you try my method? Y'know, the one I used with my siblings and cousins."
"Kim if I did that I would get fired."
"Yes, in an earth school you would without question buuut...here?"
"...here I wouldn't! Kim you genius!"
later....
"Ah, human Kim, I am here to pick up Ezshi early today. May you point me to them?"
"Yeah sure, right over there with Max." she points to a large crowd of children and parents.
"Thank you Human Kim."
"Of course....maybe I should've stalled them for a bit...shoot."
"Ezshi! Where are you? Ah, there you-- oh my."
In the middle of the crowd is Ezshi and Max both hissing and snarling at each other. The young reptilian slowly advancing towards the human, eyes slitted.
"EZSHI! Youngling you will stop this at--!"
"Wait Mx. Ezshi's Bubba! Maxie is okay, look look!"
"Youngling Human please release your tiny hands off me, I must save your 'Maxee'...huh."
Max advances as well but more predatory like, circling around the youngling until their back hits a table. Jumping onto it thinking it'll make them look more intimidating, Ezshi hisses down at the lowly human. No one interferes, especially the other reptilian and predator like species.
"Okay now here it comes Max, remember not too much spit and be aggressive!"
Back straight, toes pointed, chin up, the young man closes the gap between them with a headbutt while releasing a roar. Silence. Until finally, with eyes dilated, Ezshi chirps and bows their little head.
"Aw, its okay buddy. Now go get your stuff, your Bubba is here."
"Thank you caretaker Maxee! Lets do that again!"
"Human Max how did you know how to assert dominance among my people? Was it Tarlak's family? Tigihalaxes and Repilixes do share similar customs..." they muse.
"Oh it was Kim."
"Yep!"
"And how, may I ask, do you know how to assert dominance among my people Human Kim?"
"My siblings and cousins."
"....you were taught by your human kin?"
"Some of them started to roar and hiss while we goofed around and to make sure they still listened to me while we did this I would 'assert dominance' by doing exactly what Max did."
"I thought humans did not have displays of dominance and that everyone is to be treated equally, like a herd."
"Yes thats right."
"But you just said..."
"Oh that was just us playing around. We still do it every now and then, just over the holidays my little sister and me did the equivalent of the gorlazitics display of dominance."
"For fun??? And not to be the new leader? No one was killed?"
"Save for our mother's opinion of us, no."
"Are you sure you two are herbivores?"
"The proper term is vegetarian, which is what I am, Kim is a pescatarian."
"May the fish forgive me for finding them so delicious in sushi form."
465 notes · View notes