#also the lighting for the lyrium veins extends all the way down to the floor. but ONLY for the blue lyrium. Red doesn't have this effect.

[x-letsbreaksomerules-x]

Was messing around with this Flycam mod while playing, so heres a bunch of shots of the Deep Roads for funsies

[ellenembee]

The Revelation of All Things - 22. In which attraction creates a mess of feeling

Read the full fic here on AO3.

Read on Tumblr (desktop)

See a sketch of Evana Lavellan by the lovely MissSleepyPanda.

Evana woke to a brilliant glow warming the stone floor. Bright rays streamed in from the giant balcony windows and cast a cheery ambience around the cavernous room at the top of the tallest tower in Skyhold. Although she still felt awkward taking up so much space on her own, she had to admit that the windows were a nice upgrade. She didn’t feel as stifled in the open air as she had in her tiny quarters in Haven. Only the bitter cold that seeped into the room at night gave her any cause to complain, but the roaring fire, thick curtains and a mountain of blankets alleviated any real discomfort that might have come from the drafts.

Stretching out underneath the luxurious sheets, she made a mental note to thank Josephine for the bed - and the mountain of blankets. In fact, everything seemed lovely. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in so late. It must be an hour or more after sunrise.

After three weeks at Skyhold, things seemed to be getting back to normal. The distant clink of hammers indicated crews had begun repairs to the roofs in the major buildings, and many of the interior rooms were clean and ready for renovations. All in all, it was time to get back to the business of ending Corypheus.

The report they’d anticipated from Crestwood came in late last night. Scouts confirmed that the lake glowed a sickly green - a sure sign of a rift hiding somewhere beneath the waters and potentially causing the undead to rise up from the lake. Considering Crestwood also harbored their elusive Grey Warden contact, she’d decided to start for Crestwood tomorrow.

As she lingered in the warm cocoon of her blankets and brand new mattress, her thoughts turned to Cullen for a brief moment, and she wondered how he’d slept. She didn’t think she’d have time to ask today - Cassandra was likely already pacing the training yards in anticipation of Evana’s arrival. They’d agreed to continue their sparring lessons because Evana still felt insecure when fighting at close range. Then she needed to read through the Crestwood reports again, meet with a nosy noble who had arrived unexpectedly, check in on the mages and talk with Fiona about where they could most use the mages’ support, meet for a lesson with Josephine, finish up any last minute logistical items before being gone for an extended period and, because she’d be taking Varric with her, talk with Dorian about making sure Cullen didn’t work too hard while she was gone. The man would work himself into an early grave, otherwise.

Despite his assurances, her concern had only grown after learning that he’d quit lyrium. The disquiet hung as a dark cloud over her head, insinuating itself into every thought of him. She admitted, if only to herself, that asking Dorian to look after him was as much for her peace of mind as it was for his health.

She… she couldn’t afford to lose such a valuable… friend.

She pulled herself out of bed. Best to get on with the day. She splashed some water on her face, put on a sleeveless tunic and trousers from the previous day, and combed her fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame the wild mess. It had grown out since the Conclave, the formerly short locks now haphazardly falling into her eyes and tickling the back of her neck. She supposed she would need to do something about that as well if she ever got an extra moment.

Cassandra was indeed at the training area in the upper courtyard, along with what seemed like every other Inquisition agent and officer. They’d formed a large circle with an open area in the middle, and as she paused on the stairs from the main hall, she caught a lovely glimpse of what they’d all gathered to see: Cullen, dressed only in his breeches and boots, lowered into a ready stance and slowly circling the open area opposite the Iron Bull.

“Come on, Commander! Are you afraid?” Bull taunted.

Cullen laughed but kept his eyes glued to the Qunari. “Not afraid Bull, just cautious. Remember, though - no holding back.”

“I never hold back, and caution is for children. I thought you were a man!”

What hath the male competitive spirit wrought? She laughed a little tremulously at the thought, and then her heart froze in her chest as Cullen lunged.

The Iron Bull tried to dodge, but Cullen proved too quick for him. The Commander gracefully twisted out of Bull’s reach as he pulled Bull’s arm back into a tight hold while at the same time sweeping the Qunari’s feet out from under him. In a split second, the Iron Bull went down with a mighty thud, and the soldiers roared. So did Evana.

Once he had Bull down, Cullen immediately released him and held out his hand to help the Qunari behemoth up. Muscles rippling, he hauled Bull up for another go ‘round, and she heard several vocal sighs of appreciation from the crowd. She gritted her teeth against the pang of irrational jealousy and focused instead on the people running down to stand with her on the stairs and many more popping their heads out from windows around the keep. The two grapplers moved to opposite sides of the circle again and took their stances, moving slowly around each other.

“Alright, alright! You caught me by surprise, templar. It won’t happen again.”

“Ex-templar, and yes, it will. Are you sure you don’t want to make this best three of five? Because I’m going to end this in a moment.”

“Ahhhhh!!!”

The Iron Bull charged at Cullen full speed, and Evana’s fingers curled into fists of anxiety. Adrenaline pulsed through her veins, but before she could begin to pull on her mana, Cullen dodged Bull’s charge. He rolled out of the way and ended on his feet again, turning around just as Bull managed to slow his momentum and turn. They’d traded places in the ring, but otherwise, nothing seemed to have changed. They began circling each other once more.

“Lucky slip,” Bull grumbled.

“Luck has nothing to do with it,” Cullen challenged.

“Ohh-ho-ho… you’re asking for it, Commander!”

And with that, the Iron Bull charged again. Evana threw her hands up to cover her face but then peered through her slitted fingers. This time, instead of dodging, Cullen ducked under Bull’s left side - into his blind spot - and got a grip on the Qunari’s horns. With a furious and expertly executed twist, he used Bull’s momentum against him and quickly put him to the ground once more.

The soldiers went absolutely wild. She closed her eyes in a prayer of thanks to whatever deity might be listening, and when she opened them again, the soldiers had hoisted Cullen on their shoulders to parade him around the courtyard. A half pleased, half embarrassed grin covered his beautiful face, and she watched in amusement as he attempted to convince the soldiers to put him down. They paid him no attention, however, so he just looked up and awkwardly waved to the crowd. They clapped and shouted even more while she took the opportunity to admire pale, sweat-slicked skin over taut muscle glistening in the sunlight. A blush crept up her neck at the illicit and inappropriate images that invaded her thoughts.

Friends, eh? her rebellious inner voice challenged her.

Finally, as they brought him around, he looked her direction, and she saw the exact moment he recognized her. Their eyes met, and his chest and neck flushed bright red. A moment later, he called out to the soldiers around him, his commanding voice miraculously carrying above the din.

“Alright now, that’s enough sport for today. If you all want to be able to do that sort of thing, you will have to practice at it. Now.”

After a collective groan from the soldiers, they let him down, though most still gathered around to slap him on the back and congratulate him. She saw him glance her way while putting his tunic back on - shame that - then she lost him in the crowd. Her eyes found The Iron Bull next as he leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the courtyard, and she finally caught sight of the Commander again as he walked up to shake the Qunari’s hand. Bull shook it heartily, his deep bass voice carrying over the murmur of the dispersing crowd as he assured Cullen of no hard feelings. Smiling to herself, she scanned the crowd, located Cassandra and descended from her perch on the stairs to finally meet with the Seeker.

“Well, that was exciting!” Evana called as she approached.

Cassandra turned to greet Evana, a huge grin on the warrior’s face, her gray eyes sparkling with excitement. “Inquisitor! I knew our Commander was skilled, but I cannot believe he took down the Iron Bull twice! Did you see it?”

Amused by the Seeker’s buoyant mood, Evana laughed and nodded. “The crowd had already gathered by the time I got here, so I’m not sure what brought on the display, but I did get to see both take-downs. I have to say, it scared me to death. You’ve seen Bull charge like that on the battlefield - usually there isn’t much left of the person on the receiving end.”

“I’m happy to confirm that I retain all my faculties, my lady,” Cullen’s smooth voice assured. “No reason to be alarmed.”

Evana swiveled around to see him grinning down at her. She instantly noted the extra swagger in his step as he moved around her to allow Iron Bull to join them as well. Evana wanted to ask questions, but with Cullen grinning at her, his golden hair mussed and wild from the tousle despite obvious attempts to tame it, she could only grin back stupidly as she admired him. He’d donned his arming doublet over his tunic, the one she’d helped Harritt make, but otherwise remained without armor. She’d never seen him like this before, so light and almost carefree. It suited him in ways she couldn’t have imagined, and she greedily memorized every detail - from his relaxed, pauldron-less shoulders to the slackened curve of his large, gloveless fingers. She wondered dazedly what those fingers would feel like on her skin…

She blushed at the direction of her thoughts but couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away. Cassandra laughed loudly at Cullen’s assurances, however, and broke the spell he seemed to have woven around her.

“Well that is good news. Tell me Bull, would you care for some extra hand-to-hand training? I am sure the Commander would be happy to oblige you.”

Bull laughed with her good-naturedly. “Actually, I probably could use a little refresher, but I don’t think I’ll ever be as agile as the Commander. I’m more of a ‘hack and slash with a giant ax’ kinda guy.”

“Thank you for allowing me to give that exhibit for the soldiers,” Cullen said as he turned slightly toward Bull. “They need to see that even a smaller enemy can take you down if you are not well-trained. And vice versa - you can take down a larger opponent if you have the training.”

“What would you have done if I’d have won, then?”

“I knew you wouldn’t.”

Cullen smirked. The Iron Bull groaned. Evana nearly swooned.

“Don’t get cocky, Commander.”

“It’s not being cocky. I’m just proficient at that style of combat. Very few people could take me down. It’s why I suggested that instead of, say, daggers or archery.”

Bull gave a wry grin. “I think I’ve been had.”

“I hate to interrupt your important conversation, but the Inquisitor and I are supposed to be practicing her hand-to-hand combat skills right now, so if you would be so kind as to-”

“Well that’s perfect timing, then!” Bull deflected. “No offense, Seeker, but don’t you think our Inquisitor should be learning from the best? What do you say Commander?”

The look in Bull’s eye made her instantly suspicious. He’d been talking with Varric and Dorian too much. Evana demurred as quickly as possible.

“Oh, no, I couldn’t take up any more of the Commander’s time. I’m sure he’s got things…”

But Cassandra nodded approvingly. “That is not a bad idea Bull. We have gone over defense maneuvers - how to escape from many of the holds, but perhaps you could show her some of the kick and punch blocks?”

Evana gaped at Cassandra. Surely she wasn’t in on this, too? But no, the Seeker’s pensive gaze, as if sizing up the Commander, made it clear Cassandra’s interest lay in what Cullen could teach her pupil. Cullen, however, cleared his throat, and the tension returned to his face and shoulders.

“I don’t think… uh… I mean… it wouldn’t be appropriate.”

A frown creased his brow, and he hadn’t looked her in the eye since Bull made the suggestion. But Cassandra wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Nonsense, Commander. You will not be wallowing around on the ground with the Inquisitor. You can simply show her some of the more common blocks from close-range attacks. The more she knows before going out into the field, the better.”

Cullen finally took a deep breath, and glanced at her. She tried for an encouraging smile, though the idea of him at such close range set her nerves on edge. Something in her expression must have convinced him, however, because he suddenly gave a curt nod and began unbuckling his doublet.

“I can show you a few things, yes.”

The Iron Bull gave a cheer and a cackle before backing away a few feet to give them room. Cassandra joined Bull on the sidelines and began listing out her recommendations on where to start. Evana swallowed thickly, the anticipation of his closeness and fear of her own reactions mixing together to form a mass of butterflies in her stomach. To her dismay, Dorian and Varric appeared on the stairs from the great hall at that moment and quickly joined the others to watch, mischievous grins and all. In the meantime, Cullen carefully laid the doublet over a nearby fence and then walked back to stand in front of her.

“Show me the preparation stance Cassandra taught you.”

Evana got into the position Cassandra had shown her, and he walked around her nodding. “Good.” When he came back around, he gave her a tight smile. “You won’t always have time to get into this stance before an attack, but it helps with your balance if you can.” He took a similar stance himself as he faced her. “We’ll go through front and flank blocks alternately. Try to kick me.”

“Um, how should I kick you? Just any way?” she queried tentatively.

His tight smile relaxed a little. “Yes, any way that feels most comfortable. I assume Cassandra has taught you the basic types?”

She nodded. “Yes. Front, side and back kicks.”

“Good, so try to kick me. Any way you like.”

She raised her leg and threw a quick side kick at him. He darted to the side and grabbed her leg at the knee, giving it a small tug upward to show her the move without actually taking her down.

“Always use your opponent’s momentum against them if you can. You saw how I used Bull’s charge to take him down?”

She managed a nod even as his hands on her leg drove her to distraction. As if he’d only just noticed, he turned a little pink and finally let go of her to explain further. She unsteadily lowered her foot to the ground.

“You can do the same here. Once an opponent’s leg is in the air, they are less stable. If someone comes at you with a kick, aim your attack at their raised leg to unbalance them and hopefully put them on the ground. Now, you try on me.”

She missed the first time, so he set up again. This time, she caught at his calf and knee, pulled slightly. His muscles felt like granite under her fingers, and she had to force her mind back to the task at hand. They practiced a few more times, and then he showed her how to counter if someone tried the move on her.

“Your end goal is always to get away, so make it a quick kick or punch on a vulnerable body part, here, here or even here. Be sure to retract your leg or arm as quickly as possible to give them less opportunity to grab you. Then use the momentum from the push to propel yourself away from the attacker. Hopefully, you can get to a safe distance to launch a ranged attack.”

He touched the spots on his own body to demonstrate locations vulnerable to attack, then had her try to push him away with her kicks. He nodded and smiled.

“Very good, you catch on quickly. And remember, it’s also OK to simply run away if you feel you are outmatched. You can always double back and attack again from a better position.”

“You say that to me now… but would you say that to your soldiers? Your warriors?”

“To rogues and mages, absolutely. And even a good warrior knows that it’s sometimes better to retreat and live to fight another day. Unfortunately, in certain situations the consequences are too dire to contemplate a retreat.”

The fall of Haven hung heavy between them, and the way he looked at her now - as if he’d failed her - ripped another hole in her already tattered heart. The moment passed, however, and he pulled in a deep breath. The tight smile returned to his face as he continued with the lesson.

His mood gradually improved as he got more comfortable with teaching her. For her, however, things didn’t go quite as well. As light and chaste as they were, his touches set fire to her body as he continued to show her new attacks, blocks and counter blocks. They had never touched for more than a few moments at a time except for holding hands after Redcliffe, but now, his large, calloused hands constantly feathered over her bare arms, held her leg in place or pushed on her lower back to adjust her posture.

After thirty minutes, she was already having trouble concentrating when he moved to correct her posture on a block by sliding his hand from where it lay on her knee halfway up her thigh. She couldn’t hold back a tiny gasp as her eyes fluttered closed. She immediately opened them wide again after unbidden images flooded her mind - the two of them tangled in sheets, his hand slowly sliding up her bare thigh.

Belatedly, he seemed to realize his mistake and quickly dropped his hands, his face flushing red. Her cheeks flamed with a corresponding heat as she tried to focus on putting her leg back on solid ground, but the sharp ache that pulsed deep in her core at his intimate touch made it difficult to concentrate, even on a simple thing like balance.

“Is the heat getting to you, Commander?” Bull called from the sidelines. “Seems like you’re breathing harder now than you did during our tousle. I didn’t realize our Inquisitor was such a handful.”

Dorian and Varric laughed heartily, and Evana flushed hotter. Bull’s teasing hit a little too close to home for her… but then she realized he’d said Commander. She glanced over to see that he was, indeed, breathing a little harder, and his cheeks seemed redder than only a moment ago. Before either of them could say anything, Cassandra shut Bull down with a deadly tone.

“Bull, if you insist on disrupting this lesson, you may find other entertainment for the morning.”

That started a mini argument between the two. Evana gave the Commander a couple of sidelong glances while they both watched the Seeker deal with the situation. Had he been affected in the same way she had? He looked perfectly calm now, standing there in his tunic and leather breeches, a slight breeze playing in his hair. Creators, he looked amazing. He turned toward her, his honey-gold eyes intense and serious, and the fervent ache grew stronger.

Oh, for Creators’ sake, get it together, Evana!

She couldn’t keep this up. As much as she’d learned and as useful as it all would be, she had to be done. And still he gazed at her with those molten pools of liquid gold, all warm and inviting and perfect for drowning in. Right now, that felt like exactly the right thing to do…

Snap out of it!

“Do you know the time, Commander? I think I need to go clean up for my meeting with the nobles.”

“I believe it’s about half past nine, my lady.”

Was it just wishful thinking, or did his voice sound strained? “Ah, yes. Well, thank you for the demonstrations. I hope I’ll be able to remember some of it.”

“You just need to practice.”

“I won’t have anyone to practice with for the next few days.” She raised her brow. “We both know that I can’t learn anything from the Iron Bull. I wonder if Blackwall is any good at-”

“It would be safer to practice with Cassandra when you return to Skyhold.”

Despite her current distress, the side of her mouth quirked upward at his firm tone. “But would it be wise to delay my training, Commander?”

Cullen’s jaw clenched. He shifted a bit, and turned his gaze away for a moment before looking her in the eye once more.

“No, I suppose not.”

She bowed and moved to walk past him. “I promise to be careful. Maybe Hawke or the Grey Warden, Stroud, will have some tips.”

She heard him exhale forcefully as she passed by and couldn’t quite smother her grin, wondering at his reaction. It seemed like perhaps… perhaps he was jealous? His voice stopped her before she’d taken more than a few steps.

“Thank you, by the way.” She turned back to look at him quizzically, and he motioned to the fence where the doublet hung. “It’s a masterwork.”

She blushed yet again. “Oh, that! It was nothing. Harritt did most of the work, obviously. I was just stopping in, and I thought - I mean - I thought you might want it to match your sword.” Why did that sound sexual to her? “I mean, the grip on your sword…” NOT BETTER. “... that is… I… I’ll see you later, Commander!”

Before he could respond or Cassandra could stop her, she rushed up the stairs to her quarters as fast as her wobbly legs could carry her.

 **

 The rest of the day passed by in a blur. After a quick bath, she put on some hastily acquired, ill-fitting clothes - more like pajamas really - and met with the nobles. If she’d still had the robes from Keeper Deshanna, she would have worn them, but she’d only managed to escape from Haven with the things she’d carried into battle. Luckily, she hadn’t changed out of her armor after closing the Breach, so she still had her staff along with all the potions and valuables neatly tucked into the amazing number of pockets stitched into her coat. Josephine was working on getting her more clothing, but they hadn’t arrived, yet. The nobles seemed properly satisfied by her presence, however, so she moved on to the library to speak with Fiona.

“Hello, Inquisitor. Can I help you?”

Evana smiled warmly at the Grand Enchanter. “I was just dropping by to check in with you and see how everything is going. Are you settling in alright?”

“As well as can be expected after Haven, although I’m sure that is the case for everyone. I was wondering if I could trouble you…”

“Of course, Fiona. What is it?” Evana prompted.

Fiona sighed and paced away from her, then paused and walked back. “I know that necessary renovations are occurring right now, and I thought I might take the opportunity to request a space for our mages to live and do research. I know it cannot be a top priority at this time, but our mages are eager to repay the Inquisition for your assistance. We can research and test spells you might require in your fight against Corypheus and can otherwise be of service in making life in Skyhold more palatable to those nobles you wish you impress. I believe we’ve discovered pools of frigid waters in the caverns below Skyhold?”

Evana nodded, her brows raising in anticipation of what Fiona might propose. She was not disappointed.

“If you like, we’d be happy to develop any spells and runes necessary to turn the caverns into a bath house. Such an amenity would be welcomed by all, I expect.”

Evana hummed her agreement. “Yes, I imagine it would.”

“We can also arrange for immolation spells to decrease our… waste issues.”

Evana chuckled and then gave Fiona a curious look. “Have you spoken with Josephine about your proposed amenities?”

Fiona shook her head. “We are beginning to get a hang of this freedom you’ve given us, and we don’t want to be considered ungrateful, but we have yet to speak with anyone about our ideas.”

Evana nodded and smiled kindly at Fiona. “I understand. I have to leave for a mission tomorrow, but I will make sure Josephine is well aware of the considerable benefits a mage tower would offer... Speaking of which, I’m hoping to have the garden cleared out and replanted in the coming weeks. Would any of your mages be interested in working in the garden?”

“Oh, yes. The Commander already approached me this morning about directing some of his soldiers in cultivation of the garden. We have a few, mostly former Dalish or healers, who specialize in that area as well.”

Evana couldn’t keep the surprise from her face or voice. “He- he did?”

Fiona looked a little confused, but nodded. “Yes. Did you not know of his plans to renovate the space? I believe he was hoping to have work start tomorrow.”

“Oh, uh… yes, of course! Very good. He must be anticipating me. I - well - that’s all for now.”

“Dareth shiral, Inquisitor.”

Evana bowed and turned away, a bit stunned. She had only mentioned the garden to Cullen yesterday, and he hadn’t said anything about taking it on as a project. He was also planning to start work on the very day she left Skyhold. He wasn’t... was he trying to surprise her? The thought made her heart do a small flip-flop as a slow smile spread across her face.

She felt eyes on her and looked up to see Dorian smiling mischievously at her from his plush corner chair in the library. He was here more often than not, reading some history or other. Just another thing that endeared him to her.

“Penny for your thoughts, Inquisitor.”

She wouldn’t take the bait. “Good morning, Dorian.”

“Morning? It’s almost lunchtime. Come, let’s eat. I know there’s something you want to talk with me about, anyway.”

Evana furrowed her brow. “You do? How-”

Dorian laughed as he grabbed her hand and dragged her down the stairs. “Because Varric and I talk with one another… quite a bit, actually. You’re taking him away to Crestwood - which means no one will be left to take care of your dashing Commander. Who will make sure he doesn’t work himself to death without you around to distract him with your wistful gazes and full, luscious lips?”

“Dorian!” she gasped and waved apologetically at a disapproving Solas as they walked quickly through the other elf’s study on their way to the tavern. She’d caught up with him at this point, but he showed no signs of slowing down his long strides. So, he walked and she jogged through the great hall.

“With as often as he stares at that mouth of yours - not to mention your other, quite lovely attributes - you might as well get over denying it. He wants you. Badly. And since I know I won’t be able to distract him with my good looks, I’ll have to rely on my wit and cunning. Do you know if the Commander plays chess?”

Evana, still dumbstruck by Dorian fast-paced assertions of Cullen’s… wants, stuttered out a barely intelligible response. “Wha-uh-no-I-dunno.”

“Do you?”

At his impish grin, she finally managed to untwist her tongue. “No, it’s not a game the Dalish are familiar with.”

“Well, then I’ll have to teach you!”

They reached the tavern and Dorian finally let go of her hand. She leaned against the wall outside the tavern to catch her breath.

“You want to teach me to play chess? Why?”

“So you and the Commander can play, of course!”

“Oh, Dorian! If I didn’t love you so much…”

She paused as a group of young girls pass by them. One cupped her hand to her friends ear and whispered something, and the two looked directly at them and giggled.

He grabbed her hand again, waggling his eyebrows as he lead her into the tavern. “Although I’m never one to deny an admirer, be careful what you admit to in public, Inquisitor. You may start exactly the wrong kind of rumor.”

“I’ll leave you to deal with that while I’m away, then.”

Dorian grinned, and she groaned. As much as she appreciated him, she felt at times that he was almost more trouble than he was worth… almost.

“Don’t worry, Your Worship. There’s too much at stake - namely, what’s left of my reputation - to let that kind of misunderstanding go uncorrected. Your Commander already wishes to murder me in my sleep for touching you the way I do… he practically turns green with envy. By the way, you do know - you and me - it’s just all in good fun, right?”

“I gathered that, yes, from watching your interactions with the other mages in Haven… I don’t mind it if you don’t.”

Dorian laughed. “I certainly don’t mind. It just proves you have exceedingly good taste.”

She rolled her eyes as he left her at a table to order food at the bar. Dorian was an interesting person, to say the least. He presented a shallow facade, but the glimpses of depth she’d witnessed during recent conversations in the library had convinced her she’d only scratched the surface of his true worth. The man also loved to flirt, but it never went beyond that with anyone that she could see. She’d never flattered herself that he might be in any danger of falling for her, and she was in no danger of it herself. But she was glad he’d finally clarified his non-interest and hoped he would do the same with everyone else.

Now, if only she could get him to stop teasing her about Cullen…

Dorian returned a few minutes later with a couple of plates and some wine. “Now, let’s talk about my mission. I’m to keep him from working too hard, correct?”

“Well, I - I guess just make sure he takes a break now and then. If he does enjoy chess, that would be a good way to get his mind off his work for a change.”

“It’s no long walk in the forest with the woman he loves, but it will have to do, I suppose.”

Evana’s heart dropped. “How did you…? Nevermind… just… please don’t joke about that. He - I’m sure he doesn’t feel that way… and even if he does find me as attractive as you say, I’m a mage.”

Dorian’s face went serious. “What does being a mage have to do with it? Because he used to be a templar? No, no... the way he looks at you... Don’t be ridiculous.”

Evana shook her head. “Even… even if what you say is true - and I can’t say that I believe it is - desire and attraction are not the same thing as love, Dorian. Love requires sacrifice.”

“You don’t have to be in love to enjoy a roll in the hay, my dear. If it isn’t love, then it’s certainly a powerful kind of lust. Anyone paying the least bit of attention can see it.”

Her cheeks flamed, and she shook her head again. “I appreciate your perspective, but I’m not casual like that, Dorian. I don’t begrudge those who are, but... it’s not in my nature. I need… more. Even if he’s attracted to me… for him, an ex-templar, to love a mage? Not just love, but want to sacrifice his principles and be with me in any real or significant way? If he did… love me… would it be enough for him to stay with me?”

Dorian quirked his immaculately groomed eyebrow and rather thoughtfully took a bite of his lunch. Finally, after thoroughly chewing his food, he replied.

“What about you, then? How can you be in love with an ex-templar? You are, are you not?”

Although it was logical flip, it confused her. “In love? I hardly know. I know that I go weak in the knees when he’s around, but I also know he’s been deeply scarred by past events - events directly caused by mages. He has yet to speak of these things with me. Is that any basis for a relationship?”

Dorian blinked. “Well, we’re now out of my depth. As amazing as I am, I hardly know a thing about relationships, so perhaps I’ll just stick to my duty and keep him occupied.”

She had to laugh. “Yes, perhaps that is best.”

“Ok, finish your lunch. I’m going to grab a chess board. Your first lesson begins now!”

She groaned. “I have far too much to do…”

“Shush. It won’t take long to show you the basics. I’m an excellent teacher.”

He returned with the board, and they played for the half an hour she’d given herself to waste that day. By the end, she had a good grasp of the rules, but the strategy part still eluded her.

“Oh, that just takes practice,” Dorian assured her. “You’ve got to think forward to what move your opponent might make after yours. Many great players I know can strategize moves out to the end of the game. I’m not quite that good, but I’ve always got a few moves up my sleeves.”

“You certainly do!”

Dorian laughed appreciatively at her insinuation. “Speaking of which, I did think of one piece of advice for you.”

She abruptly dropped her head in her hands and groaned. “Not this again.”

“Just one thing. The only way you’ll ever know if he could care for a mage is if you ask him.”

Evana felt the heat rush to her face. “A-ask him?”

He was right, of course. It was the mature, adult thing to do. But the very thought frightened her more than she could express. If he didn’t care for her, they would be completely embarrassed and awkward around each other for a while before, hopefully, finding neutral ground. But... what if he did care for her? What then? Was she ready to forsake her clan, her family, her heritage - all for a shelmen who might leave her in the end? She’d begun to feel accepted by these people - her advisors and companions - but it was all in the hopes that someday the strife would end, Corypheus would be defeated, and she would be able return home.

Or perhaps she would be dead long before that.

And why hadn’t she forced herself to think about all this before she’d waded in so deep?

“I can’t do that. We are all constantly putting our lives in danger. I could die tomorrow on the way to Crestwood, or next week at a Fade rift, or-”

“We all die, darling. Granted, you are in danger a little bit more than the rest of us, but that doesn’t mean we should stop having fun in the time we do have.”

“Pardon me if none of this feels like fun,” she grumbled. “I’m being hunted by a darkspawn Magister. The Grey Wardens may be raising a demon army. The templars are ingesting tainted red lyrium and following a would-be god instead of the Chantry. My clan is in danger, but I can’t go to them. I can only send aid and hope that when I return we will have received word that all is well - that my family is still alive. And all I want is to live long enough to stop Corypheus and… and go home. Adding a complicated relationship to that mess… I don’t think it’s fair - to either of us.”

Dorian tipped his head to the side and then sighed dramatically. “Well, my lovely Inquisitor, you’re all grown up, aren’t you? Making the hard decisions in life.” He reached out and patted her hand. “Just don’t expect us to give up teasing you two if you insist on being so adorably awkward around each other. All that unresolved sexual tension is going to draw us like moths to the flame.”

She heaved a sigh and stood up, giving him a warning look over her shoulder as she walked out of the tavern. She had to close the door to block out his riotous laughter.

The stables were her next destination. Blackwall had agreed to help repair and rebuild the barn, and had taken to sleeping on the second floor. She wanted to make sure that he was fully supplied for their mission tomorrow as well as talk with Dennet about any further needs. She was on her way down the courtyard steps when she saw the boy, Cole, sitting in the grass. She vaguely remembered seeing him around in the past week, but the memories were fuzzy. Cassandra and Solas stood next to him deep in discussion. Cassandra turned to address her as she approached.

“Inquisitor, we were just discussing if Cole was perhaps a mage, given his unusual abilities.”

“He can cause people to forget him, or even fail entirely to notice him,” Solas replied to Cassandra. “These are not the abilities of a mage. It seems that Cole is a spirit.”

“A spirit? You mean, like a demon?” Cassandra asked.

“If you prefer, although the truth is somewhat more complex. In fact, his nature is not so easily defined.”

Cassandra grunted. “Speak plainly, Solas. What are we dealing with?”

“Demons normally enter this world by possessing something. In their true form, they look bizarre, monstrous. But Cole has possessed nothing - no one, and yet he appears human in all respects.” Solas turned to Evana now. “Cole is unique, Inquisitor. More than that, he wishes to help. I suggest you allow him to do so.”

Solas had never guided her wrong, yet, but an actual spirit? The thought simultaneously thrilled and terrified her.

“I should at least hear what Cole has to say for himself,” she finally announced in lieu of a decision.

After the events at Haven, she felt… connected to the boy. Their shared look had comforted her. She knew enough of the Fade and the demons that lived there to distrust many of the spirits she met, but as Solas said, Cole seemed different - more complex.

They looked around for the boy, but he seemed to have disappeared… again. Finally, Solas pointed to the makeshift infirmary they’d set up in a corner of the lower courtyard. She approached him carefully as he stood by the fire. He seemed to sense her approach and spoke in a low tone.

“Haven. So many soldiers fought to protect the pilgrims so they could escape... Choking fear. Can’t think from the medicine but the cuts wrack me with every heartbeat. Hot white pain. Everything burns. I can’t. I can’t... I’m going to… I’m dying, I’m… dead.”

Astonished, she followed Cole’s eyes to a bedroll of a man who had clearly just died. “You’re feeling their pain?”

“It’s louder this close. The mages healed as many as they could, but some were too far gone. They linger until their time comes.”

“Would you like to go somewhere more comfortable?”

“Yes, but here is where I can help.” He paused, then started again in his low tone. “Cracked brown pain, dry, scraping. Thirsty.”

Cole brought the soldier a cup of water, and she croaked a soft, “Thank you.”

Cole looked at Evana. “It’s alright. She won’t remember me.”

“So... you’re using your powers as a spirit to help people?” Evana asked in a tentative voice.

“Yes. I used to think I was a ghost. I didn’t know. I made mistakes… but I made friends, too. Then a templar proved I wasn’t real. I lost my friends. I lost everything. I learned to be more like what I am. It made me different, but stronger. I can feel more… I can help.”

She approached Cole and laid a hand lightly on his shoulder. “If you’re willing to stay, we could use your help here. I saw you fight at Haven. Would you be willing to stand with me… to help me bring down Corypheus?”

“Yes, helping. I help the hurt… the helpless.”

“Thank you, Cole. It will help.”

The boy gave her a small smile and wandered off to find another person to help. She returned to Cassandra and Solas.

“Cole will be staying with us. He seems to truly want to help, and we could use someone with his skills.”

Solas seemed pleased, but Cassandra clearly disapproved. “We should watch him, just in case.”

Evana smiled and started walking toward the stables once more. “Do as you must, but do not hurt him.”

The rest of the day passed by in a blur of reports and lessons with Josephine and packing. As much sleep as she’d gotten the night before, her new mattress called to her as she finished up reports at her desk in her quarters. Placing a small white pouch next to her saddlebags, she miraculously slipped into bed rather early with the knowledge that she’d need to be up before dawn tomorrow.

Heavy lids quickly closed in sleep, and instead of nightmares, she dreamed of golden curls, molten eyes and firm, calloused hands.