#also the reason why its just on ao3 ? welll

[hcdragonwrites]

Reluctant Pilgrim Chapter 2

A Journey to the West Fanfic

Here yall go! This is what i was writing. Kinda long in the tooth. But this helped me practice writing scene switches. TW Violence and blood. Mild Gore. Nudity (but no details on it. Just mentions)

And like anything personal for fandom stuff (not for other blogs) its just up on ao3 ! Heres the linky.

[aruuq]

this is gonna be a long post. TOKREV SPOILERS 237

WHY DOES HE LOOK SO HANDSOME HERE. I mean. I know he’s handsome, BUT THIS PANEL. JAIL. ILLEGAL.

NEXT ONE. SCUZE ME. HE HITS MY HEART JUST LIKE PEH TWO CHAPTERS BEFORE. IM NOT FEELING GOOD.

SO PRECIOUS.. ADORABLE. SWEET. LEMME SQUISH SQUISH THESE CHEEKS OF HIM. HE’S AMAZING. AND LOVELY. oh, and here’s Chifuyu too...

NO, BUT HONESTLY. BOTH OF THEM ARE SOOOOO AMAZINGLY CUTE HERE. CHIFUYU LOOKS LIKE A KITTY AND I LIVE FOR THIS

big flashbacks to times where the whole gang dissed mikey about the whole “tokyo manjiro” gang name

he’s still trembling so much plssssss stop baby

the definition of my last three braincells istg

OKAY. WHOAH WHOAH SIR. PLEASE. CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN. WE STILL HAVE A WHOLE ASS SHOW TO CONDUCT. 

SERIOUSLY IF I COULD I WOULD WRITE A WHOLE ASS ESSEY ABOUT THIS BITCH OVER HERE. HE LOOKS SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. IM SCREAMING SHAKING THROWING UP. LIKE. HE’S MY FAVORITE FOR A REASON DUH, BUT THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO THROW IT AT ME LIKE THIS. (wait for me writing sumn fics with him, bcs, uhhh, i think i will...)

ALSO. HIS GLOVES. DELICIOUS. BUT THE FUCKING ZIPPER????? WHY ISN’T IT FULLY ZIPPED??? YOU WHORE??? YOUR CHEST’S SHOWING. LOOKS COLD. LEMME. LEMME GIVE YOU A HELPING HAND. HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

I wanna chomp him

yeahhhh tell ‘em

and this my dears is why this man is the most handsome out of the whole tokrev cast. you cannot tell me, YOU CANNOT tell me that this boy, these features, this smile, that he isn’t the hottest person in the whole cast. ig it’s in genes, ‘cause his sister was pretty hot too, ehe... ehehehehe... too soon to joke like this? 

it reminds me of this tiktok trend where people been punching random people’s door to the rhythm of this one song, and these girls who were doing it totally out of it. it’s koko. he prolly just banged without any consideration 

he looks like a puppy

THIS WHOLE FUCKING PAGE. I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT

Inupi must really like Takemichi, these seats are for sure not black and micchy’s covered in blood. and inupi just threw him like this without any blanket or anything. ahh, what a great friend inupi is

cat kitty cat cat kitty cat cat

OKAY BUT AFTER KOKO TOLD IT’S SANO MANJIRO’S ERA INUPI LOOKS SO ANNOYED AND ITS FUNNY

I want to write a fanfic between these two, but I don’t post here character x character content so me think it’s a time for making an ao3 account ehe

there’s something about this bitch’s character that i really love. he’s sooo well-written. i wanna have an ability to create characters like koko or izana or literally anyone from tokrev. but this one. it shows koko’s character soooooo welll. i love it

and this is it my bitches/bros/non-binary pals. this is it. i’m done. this chapter unalived my soul. koko’s smile. a genuine smile. i don’t want to sob but i want to

PLEASEEEEEE

IM SCREAMINGGGGG

here it is, my perfect boy

In conclusion, so far it’s my fav chapter. is it because there was mostly Inupi content and I love him? maybe. but who cares

[lala-pipo]

(2) and also… omg… Minhooo??? such a gentleman I cannot… there are so many feelings in this chapter (coupled with smuts, but like… my heart… i can’t… from one cute moment to smut then some jealousy then some smut then some more cute moments… it’s like exercise for my heart… Honestly, it’s kinda difficult to see what 13 future chapters are gonna cover, because like these 2 chapters already explore soo much?? omg… I can’t wait for the next chapters!

(1) … oh… my… god… chapter 2 update!!! It was such a roller coaster ride omg… after the movie scene and he went to the kitchen and saw Jonghyun there, honestly what I was thinking was that… why is he studying there, was it for a reason wink wonk (or maybe I’m reading too much into it, because jongtae are my babies lol). Honestly not surprised if that was not your intention, I’m just too close to the ship that I would start seeing things lol

(3) I might have said it before, but you are an amazing writer! … this part right here had me squeezing my own heart “ignoring how awful the thought of Jonghyun sleeping with someone else made him feel” TnT… and you can write the flow of the story so beautifully, like it’s not forced or paced too fast or too slow, it’s perfect! Your choice of words and characterizations are just amazing! Thank you so much for sharing your stories, and for all your hard work! Looking forward for the next update! (4) Oh!! and I saw on ao3, I did enjoy chapter 2 very much!! Thank you!! It’s kinda cheesy but I was so giddy when I saw your message to cricket anon lol… it’s like senpai remembers me… hahaha anyways, stay safe and I hope you have a goood day! (5) (umm... I honestly forgot if I asked the first question as an anon or not, oh welll, if you figured out it's me... it's okay... hahahha) you don't need to reply to this one, just saying that I'm not sure if I pressed the ask anonymously button before I sent the first message lol... have a good daaay!! - cricket anon ********************************************************* Dear Cricket nony, You did send the first message non-anonymous, but we just pretend that never happened and keep your identity hidden, so I inserted the first message to the others. ^^ Thanks so much again for sending me so many asks. That was such a lovely surprise after waking up. ♥ 1) The kitchen table is like the pivotal element in this story, so a lot of important conversations and actions happen at it, but it’s also the place where Jonghyun comes to study, so of course it was crucial for the end of this chapter that Jonghyun stayed at the kitchen table, but it’s also the place where he would have been if it hadn’t been for Taemin. ^^ 2) We are far away from reaching the tip of the iceberg, dear. haha But as I’ve said last week, the first 6 chapters (maybe also the 7th chapter) are kind of quick paced like the first 2 have been, but it slows down after that. The other chapters are exploring feelings more ‘deeply’ if that’s the right word to use. It also might be a relief to some that there are also some chapters without any smut in them. I know! Shocking 😂 But those might feel a little less than a rollercoaster ride then. ^^ 3) Thank you so much, dear! I’m glad you enjoy my writing. At the moment I’m struggling a lot with self-doubt, so reading that someone enjoys what I write and the way I write is very nice. So thank you! ♥ It’s so hard to gather an audience for SHINee fics these days unless you are known to write for one specific pairing (which I’m not because I just like to jump between pairings a lot *lmao*). I mean it does have its advantages to see a different group of people read your stories depending on the pairing you write about (e.g when I wrote an OnTae oneshot I’ve seen people in the comments I’ve never seen before which was fun), but I have the feeling that especially these days people mainly read fics from specific authors because they know they solely write one ship (or two at max) and don’t even check the ao3 page anymore. This might not apply to Jinki ships as I always have the feeling MVPs are the most supportive fanfic readers no matter the ‘On’ ship (MVPs love their fics it seems, which is lovely). Anyway, I don’t know how things are on other platforms. Meanwhile, there is me who sits in her multi-ship bubble. ^^” 4) How could I have forgotten about you, dear cricket nony?! Your last messages were so lovely that I won’t forget you so easily!  ^^ Please stay safe as well and once again thanks so much for your messages! I hope you will have a lovely weekend and a splendid week! ♥

[vesperione]

Please Read This Before Commenting

So, as you can tell, already, this post will not mention TGWDLM until the very end. If some of you are unaware, I headcanon Paul as having Autism. Yes, autism, a very “scary illness caused by vaccinations.” Well, a couple of days ago I got someone commenting “HOW CAN YOU ROLEPLAY SOMEONE NOT ORIGINALLY AUTISTIC, LIKE HOW?” And it really hurt me!  So I posted it on my instagram story (y’all on tumblr its @robertstanion) and I got an overwhelming amount of support. Except one person, who claimed the question was valid. So I told this person that the title of the post clearly includes the word HEADCANON in it, needless to say they are both blocked (to see this post, it’s TGWDLM Headcanons Part 2 and it’s the very first headcanon mentioned that has driven me to write this post) Now. As I’ve already mentioned autism is “a scary illness that is caused by vaccinations.” Well here’s something for you. I’m happily vaccinated and autistic. That’s fucking right, I’m autistic! More specifically, I have Aspergers/Asperger Syndrome. Now here’s the reason I’ve written this post. I would like my currently 351 fans on insta and my 21 fans on tumblr to see how I truly feel. So welcome, here’s an insight of my life. Also, if you want to take this to my dms, feel free, I’ve got over 300 fans I won’t mind losing a few. I’m also writing from experience. 

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Aspergers! What the fuck is that? Well, it’s one of the most common types of autism. Essentially, autism is a disability and a collective term. My type of autism falls underneath that umbrella term. So, Aspergers. What is that? yes I’ve repeated myself, and that is something common with me. I repeat myself and I stutter, I stumble and I slur. I am one of the gobbiest people you will ever meet with a high profanity and if you couldn’t tell, pretty much every single one of these posts on here and insta have a curse/swear word in it. INCLUDING THIS ONE! Common symptoms are that we have trouble filtering jokes from insults, filtering sarcasm and we take it the wrong way a hella lot. Um, we’re also sensitive to loud sounds and bright lights. And the big one, CHANGE IN ROUTINE! This was when I had to move to high school I was so scared because I am now the only person from that asshole school at my current high school which is brilliant by the way. So yeah, back to primary, this isn’t an exaggeration, I was bullied and I had no friends. Not even joking. Also year 1 (age 5-6) y’all are talking to the lass who threw not 1, not 2 but SEVERAL chairs at the head of the school when I W A S 5. that was also when my mom worked at the school. So anyways, this event occurred a few months after I was diagnosed with Aspergers. I was 4 and like 3/4 when I was diagnosed, And I’ve had this condition for 9 years so I’m pretty experienced. I’ve had it all my life. Wanna know where the signs started? When I was a baby. Common forms of autism also include late development and toilet training. My first word was triangle (i’m a part of the illuminati shhhh) or dad, but I have an ok relationship with my dad, but I prefer to have it known as triangle. Throughout first school I struggled, every day I would have a meltdown. I flat out refused to do the work! These meltdowns consisted of my folding my arms, putting my head down on the table and I just cried. Can’t remember why but I did. And when it was the end of the lesson, I would get up and go to break. I wasn’t punished! Year 7, I refused to do something in drama (I was very self conscious and still am and hate performing in front of groups of people) and I just froze on the spot. Wouldn’t move. So my then-drama teacher took me out and I wouldn’t talk to her. And then we went to student services and they sat me down in Miss Q.s office (Miss Q is such a lad, her and miss BE have been with me since day 1.) Luckily, the only TA i could talk to at my previous school moved up with me and I told her everything. Year 8 I only had 1 meltdown. Year 9,  I’VE HAD NONE MOTHERFUCKERS! Well I kind of did in Maths a week ago becauseIstillfeellikeeveryonehatesme- BUT ANYWAYS i’m ok now. So, me, what comes with Aspergers, here’s what!

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It is extremely common for people with autism to have depression and anxiety. In fact aspergers is actually an anxiety disorder. This prevents me from being in large crowds for large periods of time because of the noISE and I’m claustraphobic. So, anxiety. It’s common. Now imagine having a panic attack before you go to sleep. Literally as you shut your eyes. If you can’t here’s what it feels like. The room is dark, the only light is usually from the streetlights and occasionally car headlights, but it’s just gone midnight and the streetlights have turned off. The only light now is from your phone. Your eyelids are about to shut so you put your meditation music on to sleep with. You put your phone behind your third pillow exactly and shut your eyes. Suddenly, your breathe gets shallow and your heartrate goes up. A familiar feeling of nausea creeps around the corner immediately making you reach for your water bottle. That’s how it is for me, every night. Now, nausea. I’m emetephobic. Having emetephobia ruins my life. Emetephobia is the phobia for vomit. I can barely even say it out loud so me typing that certain “v” word is huge. This prevents me from watching TV shows and films, even certain music videos, because in case somebody just happens to throw up. Now the last time I threw up was my 8th birthday and I live in fear every day. Just a few weeks ago, this bug had spread to my school and someone legit ONLY HAD TO WALK 4 MORE STEPS TO THE BATHROOM but threw up OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM i mean dude. logic. and as soon as we were told, I was not the same for the last half hour of last period. I probably ingested more perfume that week than I ever have. So. On the topic of phobias, here are some I have:

Emetephobia: vomit Lepidopterophobia: Butterflies & moths (as long as I’m at a distance I’m fine) Arachnophobia: spiders excluding tarantulas they’re cool. 

They’re the main ones. 

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Now, this part is digusting, feel free to skip. This is something that I’ve only told 6 people. I have a condition called Paralysed Bowel Syndrome. I’ve only met 2 other people with it. PBS legit makes this person SHIT THEMSELF. I was really ill before Christmas and early Jan. Christmas, I couldn’t move I was in agony (i almost threw up thrice that week I was so scared) and in Jan my body just kept trying to make me shit but my brain didn’t want me to. I have these things called ‘Moments’ where my brain literally stops me from shitting and this usually results in me wearing pads I didn’t have a period in February because my stomach’s so messed up. What happens in the end is I legit shit out this massive lump of...welll....shit. And my mum weighs it evERY FUCKING TIME! The day I got better this year was 07.02, my sister’s birthday. To put in  comparison what happened, I got half a bag of sugar lighter that day. But no, this condition sounds stupid but it makes me really ill and I have to take this disgusting medicine when I get bad. There is no cure. 

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So, that’s me and why those two people really hurt me. But did you know these people also had aspergers?: Obama has a very mild case Albert Einstein Anne Hegerty (was on 2018 I’m A Celeb, British, google her) Chris Packham (ONE OF MY IDOLS-) Susan Boyle Tim Burton (who is born 6 days after me-) -

But also, people with Aspergers need something to live for. In my case, there are several things including Brooklyn Nine Nine, Musicals (specifically TGWDLM) Panic! At The Disco, Starkid, The Vamps, Backstreet Boys, Stephanie Beatriz, Fanfiction, Instagram and memes. This is why people with autism, when they love something, NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT (lowkey one of my best friends and exs is obsessed with sonic the hedgehog and he’s on the spectrum. May or may not have succeeded in getting said friend into Hamilton-) SO yeah! This is why you shouldn’t come to my page and start spreading your shit about this condition I’ve grown to love, hate and understand. Any negative comment makes me feel even worse about myself than I already do, that’s why I took a 3 month break from ao3 because one of my books got so much criticism that I had to take it down and it really upset me. So I beg you, give me advice, tell me if there are certain mistakes but do NOT insult me or aspergers syndrome. Thankyou, J