#also to the rest of hs1 songs because i never got to hear them live

[finexbright]

uk and european besties let's all just hold two mins silence and say rest in peace to the live versions of lights up, little freak, cherry, falling, sunflower vol. 6 and to be so lonely, gone but never forgotten, forever beefing with harry styles

[trulymadlysydney]

Farewell Fine Line

Okay pardon me for being sappy but since tonight is our last night in the Fine Line era I just want to take a minute and reflect. This is going to be long and corny as hell and you DO NOT have to read it, but I'm feeling sappy so I DO have to write it.

Fine Line was so exciting from start to finish. From the very beginning we knew it was going to be BIG. Even from the fucking "do" tweet that I'll never forgive him for, we knew right away that there was just going to be something about this album.

Lights Up was a day I'll absolutely never forget. When we figured out the lead single was called Lights Up and none of us believed it. (I'll never forget posting on here "Wtf that is not the single title, that sounds like a Liam Payne song" and getting a ton of notes and then turning out to be a clown.) When that thumbnail dropped, we had no idea what to expect. It was so different from anything in HS1 era. It was so sexy and exciting and good and so HIM. Surprising, but him.

I remember Eroda, and how it scared the shit out of me for no reason. (I still haven't watched any of the ads that some of yall were getting on youtube for it). I remember anons telling me I was stupid for believing it was linked to Harry. I remember Fish Anon (moment of silence for fish anon). I remember staying up ALL NIGHT for the music video, and all he dropped was the song. The music video came out hours later, and I remember setting an alarm for like 6am to watch the video.

And god, the album release night. I spent hours on Facetime with @emotionally-imbruised and the lovely Bee (who is no longer on tumblr). We got drunk, and we listened to HS1 in its entirety because we knew it was the last time that that was going to be our only Harry album. I remember Bee living on the other side of the world and having early access to the album, so she'd already listened to like two songs (Sunflower and Cherry-- she waited to hear the rest till I had access to the album) and letting me have just the TINIEST little snippet of Sunflower. (It was the "I couldn't want you any more, kiss in the kitchen like its a dance floor" part and I was hooked from that alone). And I remember it finally dropping-- sitting on the floor of my bedroom (not even in my bed) listening to every song-- even the singles I had already heard-- and live texting Ken and Bee through all of them. We analyzed the shit out of some of them ("No because the long guitar solo in She represents sex and then the climax and then the coming down") and my favorite part of all... when Fine Line ended. I remember just sitting in silence, and getting a text in our groupchat. "Guys... we just listened to Fine Line."

I remember running into my half asleep mom's room JUST to play her the Sunflower "boop boop"s and telling her that my grandpa would have absolutely loved that song.

In my own life, big things were happening as well. I interviewed for (and was offered) my dream job of being a flight attendant, after YEARS of being told no by various airlines. And as thrilled as I was, I was terrified. I can't put into words just how much this album got me through one of the most stressful months of my life. It also gave me one of the most cherished memories I've ever made; February 2020, the plane taking off out of Phoenix to take me to training, listening to Fine Line as we taxied along the runway and hearing the big "We'll be alright" the second the wheels lifted off the ground. Looking over Phoenix, thinking about the big changes that were waiting for me, and hearing that song... honestly I still get chills thinking about it.

I got my wings March of 2020. Obviously, we had no idea what else was going to happen starting that same month. I lived in a crashpad, in a bunk bed, with several other flight attendants, across the country from my parents (first time ever living away from them), and wasn't flying much because of Covid. My other flight attendant roommates were all older, well seasoned flight attendants who didn't really care that much, so I spent a lot of my days alone (AND/OR on facetime with @emotionally-imbruised). And this album became the soundtrack to those memories. This album guided me through a lot of hard times during quarantine. This album means so much to me.

I remember hanging out with @harryfeatgaga in Boston, spending the first day of summer drinking hard seltzer at the beach, our first time having some really deep conversations about life and, of course, listening to Fine Line on her little portable speaker. We still both look back on that day as the day we really became best friends. We listened to the acapella version of Fine Line and SPIRALED over so many hidden vocals we hadn't heard before. We also got our first (and not last) matching tattoo shortly after-- Harry's handwriting (although some of yall seem to think it's Disney Font...) reading "Oh Honey."

Two years later, I was lucky enough to go to Love on Tour several times and watch these songs performed live by the man who means more to me than anything. I got matching tattoos with Paige, @stillafineline, and two other girls who I'd only met 24 hours prior. I was lucky enough to meet so many beautiful friends I'd only spoken to via tumblr, as well as SO so so many others. (The girls Paige and I met at a bar in NY who just so happened to see our matching Harry tattoos. The girls we met in line for wristbands who came over to my, Paige, Caitlin, and @harryshousesonvinyl's Airbnb in LA to get ready. The girls next to us in the pit who watched us deal with a very blackout drunk Sarah Baska. The 17 Harries we picked up on our way to a gay club in downtown NY after Harryween.). I was able to celebrate my 26th birthday in the presence of Harry Styles, who not only performed Medicine, but also had the audacity to say "this is called 'edging'" right before my very eyes. Happy birthday to me, I was edged by Harry Styles.

In those big arenas surrounded by that many Harries and wearing my absolute flashiest outfits, it was the most Myself I had felt in over two years. I'll never forget that.

Fine Line era was hard, but it also had some really beautiful moments throughout the chaos. And this album will forever be one of my favorites. I'm so, so lucky to have experienced it, and I'm so lucky to love Harry.

Goodbye, Fine Line era. I cannot wait to see what surprises Harry has in store for us with the Harry's House era.💜✨

[a-butterfly-on-his-tummy]

Themed Weekends Presents...

A reflection from @trulymadlysydney

What does HS1 mean to me?

It took me far too long to come up with the answer to this question, and honestly I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I don’t think I’ll ever have the words to express just how much this album, and more importantly this era, means to me.  But, as most writers do, I will try my best to find the words, type and retype it, (and still overthink it), and share it in hopes that it will mean something to someone else out there, too.

To accurately express my emotions towards this album, I think I have to start from the very beginning: The announcement of SOTT.  I remember exactly where I was standing-- in the tiny, cramped back room at work.  (At a job that I didn’t exactly like.)  I could hardly focus the rest of my shift, and my poor coworkers had to listen to me gush about how excited I was and how “You guys should really give it a chance! Like, I know he was in One Direction but like, if you actually listen to their music they have some really great stuff!”   As excited as I was for the single, I don’t think I ever could have guessed exactly how much it would change my life.

This song came at a very horrible, very dark time in my life.  I’ll spare you all the details, the sob story, etc etc.  But the thing was, I didn’t realize just how dark a time it was.  That’s the funny thing about depression (or mental illness of any kind really).  It lies to you.  It makes you feel so comfortably numb in your own misery until you don’t even realize how miserable you are.  Your coping mechanisms can become your everyday life, to the point where you don’t even realize that you’re hardly living at all.  Of course, that’s not what this post is about, but it’s worth mentioning because Sign of the Times became my biggest joy at that time.

I stayed up almost the entire night it dropped. I went on post limit TWICE in one night, (is that even possible? Apparently so!) and I felt so genuinely happy and excited for the first time in a long time.  It was always playing on my phone-- in the bathroom while I showered, tucked under my pillow while I slept, on repeat in the car (despite my poor mother kindly asking if maybe I was ready to play something else now).  It was all I listened to for a solid few weeks… including when something very bad happened. I had a wake up call that essentially told me that -- oh yeah, you really need to learn to take care of yourself because things aren’t so good right now.  When I messed up, when I felt alone and scared, when I felt like there was no possible way I could move on or up, or ever be happy again, one thing remained-- that song was still constantly playing.  Still bringing me as much joy as the first time I listened to it.

Things did get better, as things often do.  Harry was on Saturday Night Live and I hid out in my room (despite my entire family visiting from out of state and spending time together-- sorry guys) and I watched his performances with a smile on my face the entire time.  I think at one point (most likely during the Mick Jagger impression) I even screamed into my pillow because I had so much emotion buzzing around inside of me that I didn’t know what the heck to do with it all.  I was so proud.  I watched the musical performances over and over and over.  And then I called my family into my  room to watch them with me.  I couldn’t stop smiling.   I knew that this was only the start of something so huge.

And then the album came.  I was at work when it dropped-- scheduled to close the shop.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough, especially because I had friends blowing up my texts and anons blowing up my inbox, gushing endlessly about the album and how beyond good it was. I wasn’t driving at the time, so I begged my mom to speed home. “But mom, you don’t get it, it’s his whole ALBUM.  It’s finally out!”  I didn’t even change out of my work clothes when I got home, I just jumped onto my bed-- shoes, name tag, and all, and hit play.  

I don’t know how many times I cried listening to it that first time through. (There’s a video somewhere, floating around the tumblr-verse, depicting in embarrassing detail my reactions to each of the songs.)  But it became the album of my year.  And I spent that year trying to recruit as many Harry fans as I could.  To this day, there’s still no feeling quite like the absolute delight I feel when someone (friend, family, or stranger) tells me that they like his album or even just a song from it.

Sign of the Times became an anthem, a bittersweet reminder that sometimes life sucks, and it’s hard, but we’ve all been there, and we get up again and we keep trying to find our way.  Kiwi became a hype song.  Sweet Creature became a lullaby.  Each song took on a meaning for me, each song became personal.  To this day there are still some songs that I can’t listen to because I have to be in the right frame of mind.

In January 2018, I got a tattoo-- a heart drawn by Harry.  A constant reminder of the love he exudes and the joy he brings to me and  to so many other people. “Be a lover.  Chose love.  Give love.  Love everyone, always.”  (My tattoo artist, upon seeing the heart, gave me a funny look.  “Are you sure you want it all… wonky like that?”  I was almost offended.)

Because of Harry, I’ve made some of the best friends I could ever ask for.  When my life was horrible and I felt alone, I had him, and I had the friends I made through tumblr.  And when my life turned around, and I felt over the moon happy and excited to live every day, I still had him.  And I still had my internet friends.  Internet friendships can be a hard thing to explain to real-life friends, but it’s a connection that’s so beautiful and fulfilling for those lucky enough to experience it.  I’ve even been blessed to meet quite a few of the online friends I’ve made in person, and it’s all thanks to Harry.

I still consider the weekend of July 13th, 2018, to be one of the best of my life.  I got to see the man I’d loved for so so long, the person who--unknowingly-- got me through some of the hardest times, but also brought me so many friends.  I got to hear the music that shaped the past year of my life. And I got to meet so many of the incredible people who I’d only spoken to through screens.  And it was the most magical weekend of my life.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again:  There is absolutely no feeling on earth like the feeling you get from the energy inside a Harry Styles concert. When he tells you its okay to be whoever you want to be in that room, you believe him.  When he tells you he loves you, you believe him.  You feed off of one another’s energy, and even though you’re one of thousands of people in a sold out room, it feels personal and intimate in a way that even the most talented writer could never find the words for.   Though I sat alone both nights, I felt like I was lifelong friends with every single person around me.  It wasn’t scary, or intimidating, it was familiar and comforting.

I know that I may never get the chance to thank Harry in person for everything he’s done for me and for so many other people, but I think deep down he knows.    He knows what he means to us, because we mean just as much to him-- and it’s apparent in the way he performs and speaks and acts.  And although his meticulously planned and sometimes cryptic posts and behaviors get on our nerves sometimes, and although we may want to fight him for being such a little shit, he’s still our Harry.  He’s our best friend, and we’re his.  

So to answer the original question, HS1 means friendship.  It means new beginnings, it means moving forward, it’s hope in times where hope seems impossible.  It’s love and kindness and vulnerability and knowing you are not alone.  And most importantly, it means something different to every person who listens to it.  It takes a true artist to be able to do that, and I absolutely cannot wait to experience it all over again with his next album and with all of you.