#also unironically fucking love sakura but that doesn't even need to be said

[yellowocaballero]

skgk u Naruto dweeb

Sure I'll fucking post the first scene don't fucking test me. It bangs and one should never be ashamed of the things that bang. You're never getting that PJO fic at this rate.

First scene of a fic that bangs under the cut. There's an actual premise for the fic but I think it's funner if that's not obvious.

“Hey, kid. Wanna join a gang?”

Sakura halted, kunai half-buried in the hard packed dirt. She looked upwards, blinking owlishly. 

Obito didn’t have to fight the urge to sweat, because he was partly wood and wasn’t capable of it. The desire persisted. Sakura blinked at him.

He was being ridiculous. The girl couldn’t level mountains with a punch or stop hearts with a touch. She wasn’t head of a hospital and inventor of a dozen medical techniques. She wasn’t even married. Not even to idiots. This was a whole-ass civilian child. She could barely stick a leaf to her abnormally large forehead.

“What kind of gang?” Sakura paused a beat. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

“I’m not a stranger, I’m a ninja. That’s trustworthy.” Ninjas were pretty famous for being trustworthy, straightforward people. Granted, there was an outlier that should not be counted. “And it’s a fun gang. With…uh, candy.”

Sakura narrowed her eyes. “Where’s your headband?”

“Laundry day.”

Sakura applied every ounce of her genius intellect towards considering this. Obito carefully crouched down across from her, looking down at the small and crumbling hole she’d created. Wasn’t she a bit too old to dig in the dirt for fun? 

Finally, she said, “Sorry, Suspicious Ninja-san. I have school, homework, and chores. And a class project due next week. I have no time in my schedule for a gang.”

“Not even if it’s a really good one?” Obito wheedled.

Sakura shook her head solemnly.

Obito sighed dramatically, poking a gloved finger into the small hole. He allowed Sakura to smack his finger away with the kunai, ignoring her glare. It was super cute and potentially deadly. “So you’re too busy learning away, huh? Guess you’re just another kid with no intellectual curiosity. If you’re perfectly happy with the normal classes, I guess you don’t need advanced ones…”

Obviously, that got her attention. Obito knew full well that classes weren’t challenging her. Acing all of them across the board was a point of pride, but she knew that she wasn’t reaching her potential. She wanted to ace more difficult exams, which was more pride, and continue onwards towards higher difficulty in her quest for self-esteem. She searched unceasingly for the most difficult questions so she could experience the vain victory of knowing she was better than everybody else. Gifted kids. They were all the same.

“Is your gang a class?” Sakura demanded. “Is it special tutoring? Like the clan kids get?”

Ah. And maybe she wanted to do the impossible just to be as good as everybody else. That had always been the life of Sakura Haruno.

“It’s a group of people bound together by a shared dream,” Obito said mysteriously. Sakura’s eyes widened. “Yeah, we teach each other things. Special secret techniques that only we know. Here, I’ll show you one.” He looked down at the hole, brushing away stray rocks. “You weren’t using this hole for anything, right?”

“I was digging for worms,” Sakura said, frank and even. Somehow, her little dress didn’t have a speck of mud on it. 

“Cool. Uh, why?”

“They have really simple chakra networks.”

“Sorry I asked.” Obito dug his finger a little deeper into the hole, forming a small cavity, before raising his hand and cupping it over the hole. “Watch carefully. A true ninja looks underneath the underneath.”

Anybody looking from a distance - anybody from ANBU to nosy mothers - would have assumed he dug into the hole and pulled it out. But Sakura, ear to the ground and big green eyes fixed on the magic underneath Obito’s hand, saw it clearly.

A wisp of green pushed through the bottom of the hole. It slowly rose upwards, leaves growing and unfurling, as it reached the top of the hole and continued to grow. Petals budded at the top of the plant and unfurled, spreading pink. Spring passed in an instant, and in a slight of hand Obito pulled the plant up by the stem and pretended it had been there all along.

It was a camilla, petals dyed as pink as Sakura’s hair. Obito ceremoniously presented it to her. She was almost unable to take it: she was stupified, surprised stiff. She knew exactly what she had just seen.

She mouthed three syllables to herself: Mokuton. Obito smiled slyly. 

Sakura finally took the flower, inspecting it closely. Somewhat critically, she said, “Camillas don’t come in pink.”

“I thought I’d cater to my audience.” Obito leaned in, and Sakura ducked her head to match him. “I can teach you how to do it.”

Sakura’s eyes narrowed, twirling the flower between her finger and thumb. “It’s a kekkai genkai. You can’t teach kekkai genkais. And nobody would, anyway.”

“I would. I’m even offering.”

“Who are you?”

“Guy who wants to put together a gang. With fun and candy.”

Sakura’s eyes narrowed further into slits. “You said the gang already existed.”

“Let’s just say that we’re getting the gang back together for the very first time.”

“Why would we say that?”

She had not warned him that it would be this difficult. Obito remembered little girls as being way more pliable than this. But most little girls would have run away from strangers offering free rides, so maybe Sakura was more gullible than most. Or more susceptible to temptation. But every great ninja was.

“Flowers have simple chakra systems too.” Obito put his hand over the pit again. “Feel for my chakra this time. Earth and water. Watch what I do.”

He made a small sapling this time, which was far simpler and straightforward than creating a flower that didn’t exist. Sakura watched him carefully, eyes closed shut, and when he finished she reached in and ripped out the sapling herself. She studied the sapling carefully before sticking it in her mouth, running her tongue over the leaves and stem. Then she spat it out, brushing dirt over the plant as if burying a body and placing her hand over the hole.

Sakura screwed her eyes shut and lay there for a long time. Obito’s mind was almost spiraling into megalomania again before she began drawing her hand up. She made several small motions with her fingers, almost pinching, and Obito watched in marked interest as a small sapling rose from the soil. It only grew an inch out of the soil, and it was nothing more than a sprout, but so was Sakura. 

When she opened her eyes and saw what she had made - when she realized that the no-name and do-nothing girl could create a mokuton as mighty as the god’s - Obito knew that he had hooked her.

Obito smiled at her, stiff and unyielding. “I have a dream. I’m dreaming of a world filled with meadows of beautiful flowers and forests of the tallest trees. You could help me create this dream, Sakura. I can teach you some of it, but you’ll have to make it the rest of the way on your own.”

The sapling sat in Sakura’s palm, and Obito knew that she found it far more beautiful than any flower. When she spoke, she stared at the sapling. “How?”

“Well…” Obito scratched at the back of his neck, laughing slightly. “How do you feel about crime?”

“Crime?!”

In the end, he had to kidnap her a bit. Technically he could have kidnapped her from the beginning, but a little work now saved a lot of work later. She complained a lot at first about her ‘family’ and ‘school’ and ‘desertion’, but she got over all of that predictably quickly. Her village did too: a disappearing child was not noteworthy in Konoha. Worst case scenario they’d accidentally stir up some ‘but I thought you kidnapped her for your child army’ situations.

Obito would create a heaven on earth, come hell or high water. Anybody who got in his way would die, from the lowliest Suna ninja to the Hokage himself. That was what it meant to be an optimist. And this little girl would be key to it all.