#always freezing and burning and feverish and like. that can be presyncope
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hermitsdump · 25 days ago
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sorry for liking and unliking and liking your post. symptoms so bad today I might go on a phone ban
#I'm always trembling like I got caffeined lately and I cannot figure out why#I have been taking care of myself I promise#I just want to shower so fucking badly#like so what if I pass out in it. I think that's worth it#maybe#ughhhhh#fr though the chest pain was so bad it followed me in my dreams like plsssss#let me forget for a little while every heartbeat doesn't have to hurt??#it's like the weeks when I was breathing incredibly slow trying not to panic and that was like 8 yrs ago and I only found out last year what#that was about while writing fic 💀💀💀💀 like oh OK that's why every heartbeat was incredibly painful for months#but why NOW I'm having more respirations I'm responsible I know how to breathe#fic writing has explained more about health to me than actual hospitals I hate it here lmfaooooo#....maybe I am forgetting to breathe actually I need to count them#but breathing faster feels like. stupid and forced and like I'm trying to simulate a panic attack#idk what's wrong with me at this point#always freezing and burning and feverish and like. that can be presyncope#usually hotdrinks make me sweat immediately#but this week even that and being right in front of a space heater my hands are like ice#.....maybe I will survive the summer after all#is it going to get worse every month thoigu. from blood loss. hrt could. save me probably#I should have left the fucking country when I turned 18#also waking up after sleeping in an actual bed not passing out on the floor#but feeling like my skeleton is a plastic miniature that was stomped on#idk I think I need to take a day to cry about the pain of being alive and then get over it <3#come here the great impersonator I need to process life again
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